You don't look Autistic!.... um, yes I know, that's why I started this Aspergers blog!

[@mklembo]

"But you can manage eye contact!" - that is what I often hear. Yeah, I can, for two seconds. And then I look at something else for 3 more seconds, and then look back into your eyes. Rinse and repeat. I learned how to make eye contact because this is what most people do during a one to one conversation. I adjusted my behavior so I can at least pretend to be one of your "normal people". But it's hard. It's so damn hard.

[@kiril1]

Why is it hard for you to keep an eye contact for long? Is it kind of sociophobia(social anxiety)?

[@robertklotz9319]

@@kiril1 it's just plain Asperger Syndrom. One of the main characteristics of it.

[@kiril1]

@@robertklotz9319 Ok. But I think, social anxiety can lead to the same consequence(regarding eye contact), isn't it?

[@robertklotz9319]

@@kiril1 yes sure, it can be.

[@raylaughlan5324]

@@kiril1 I came across a study recently that explained that an autistic brain will get over-excited compared to a normal person’s brain when they make eye contact with someone. I can’t remember the details, but it was interesting lol I recommend looking for it or a study like it as it explained that the experience is legitimately different for people with autism, sometimes even registering as painful for them

[@lidy333]

My boyfriend has Asperger's, and watching your videos has significantly helped me understand him better. You have helped our relationship, and I thank you. I agree that people need to be more understanding. A lot of people are closed minded.

[@brit9022]

Hi, do you still use your account? I have a question..

[@lidy333]

@@brit9022 I do, what is your question?

[@brit9022]

@@lidy333 I am or was dating an aspie who recently had a shutdown. I wanted to know if your bf had a shutdown and if so, how long did it last?

[@randydill409]

They are usually more honest loving and caring than normal people

[@Woodie7]

People are built to recognize when something is off. Its just natural instinct. Unless they have some education on the subject they will treat us differently. It would be strange if thing were other way around

[@dreahutch1091]

Thank you. I have adapted...learned to act like like 'normal' and it is totally exhausting. I am glad to know i am not alone.

[@autismfromtheInside]

You are most certainly not alone! :)

[@danielgrey5754]

Aspergers from the Inside I just saw your video I’m 39 and just starting to pursue a diagnosis I have learned to adapt but it is so f**ing exhausting and I’ve always needed a lot of time alone. And then occasionally everything falls apart and I’m overwhelmed and I stop going to work. I’ve lost a few jobs that way. I’m unemployed at the moment. I’ve always known my brain is different. I’ve been to a psychiatrist who told me I had social anxiety which I undoubtedly do. But there is something else. I keep myself sane with my obsessions which change from time to time but I’ve read the entire DSM-IV when that was an obsession one time and I have to touch my forehead and my knee constantly to make myself feel safe and talk to myself constantly although that could be OCD. Who knows I’ll find out I guess. Thanks for your videos. I’m not alone.

[@laurelmcnair4552]

@@autismfromtheInside hi what's your Instagram? If you have one ?

[@carlyfedora4331]

It hurts me when I told my friends and family I had Aspergers’s and they laughed at me... it took a lot for me to accept that something was different in my emotional awareness and it was scarring to admit I had a condition I couldn’t control having and they mocked my attempt to expose the real me, but I guess if people don’t understand something they reject it

[@marcioide9191]

Carly Fedora Its one important discover. I had these reception too, i guess even worst, because i am a bipolar diagnose and in treatment. Unfortunatelly, its another lonnely path to cross. I am a poet and a philosopher, descendent of japanese in Brazil, so I kind of got used to it. But its beautifull walk to, and think you and Paul knows that very much. We, aspergers, we can have a peculiar and happy life, now and after.

[@dakrontu]

When I told my siblings that I had Asperger's, the reaction of one of them was to assume I was mentally incompetent and could not be trusted with anything. I was seen as being good with computers but incompetent for anything to do with real life. Yet I am the same person as before I told them; I raised a family, I held down a good job, what more do I have to do? I wish I had never said anything.

[@nigelbaldwin752]

Upon diagnosis as an adult i think we finally have an answer for our struggles and can learn about ourselves for first time. I wish i had spent a year or so getting my head around it before telling people as without a lot of knowledge i feel it is difficult to explain . But yeah other peoples reactions especially those close can be very disappointing.

[@jomarvirg]

I have no interest in life , this world have nothing to me ...

[@Indusxstan]

dakrontu that sibling of yours is worthless. Forget them and focus on the rest of your family.

[@plissabarrett7358]

You are a precious person. I am blessed to have you in my life. You have helped me understand myself. I am 54 years old on this Nov 6,2018, and until I stumbled upon your channel I have felt so like a freak,so sad and lonely and suicidal. But you have let me know I am okay, not like everyone else, but okay as I am. I am no longer lonely and I no longer want to be dead. Thank you for helping me FINALLY understand myself. Thank you for bringing joy into my life. Thank you for making me want to live. Bless you. I don't feel alone anymore, I don't feel like a freak and outsider anymore. Much Love! 🖤

[@Alexanderstarreveldo]

I was diagnosed super late in life as well. My teens were pretty darn confusing haha. I’m looking forward to watching you do interviews!

[@kate1674]

You give me hope. My son is about to be assessed for ASD and I believe he most certainly is. A very special lad with amazing quirks. Some people see it as a ‘disability’ I see him as the most beautiful little boy in the whole world. He is 7 and now sometimes explains the ‘gaps’ between his perception and others’. 😍 He precious, complex and clever. I am privileged to watch him navigate the world around him. Very refreshing.

[@mikesiegel3059]

Thank you Paul for creating this channel and to all the followers who post their personal experiences. I am a "neuro-typical" mental health therapist who sees several clients on Spectrum yet who often haven't realized that is what has been contributing to self-doubt, social awkwardness, feeling isolated, etc. This will not only help me gain better understanding, but will also be a great resource for my clients!

[@derrabbit7289]

Wrong planet syndrome, I love that! Know the feeling and have been looking for a way to escape the reality of the normies for some time

[@walther7147]

Der Rabbit wanna flight back to Volcan my home planet

[@leistico]

In the modern vernacular, I think you're my spirit animal. I'm 48, and I discovered Asperger's, and that it describes my entire existence, about 10-15 years ago. I just watched your executive function/response to Ask an Autistic video, and you encapulated most of my daily life experience (save for the few parts I have rehearsed and memorized) perfectly. I just wanted to say thank you. Also, I'm an actor and theatre technician and designer, so when I get "You don't look/act autistic," my rehearsed response is, "I'd like to thank the Academy..."

[@sbsman4998]

The painful part is being fully able to see and feel others adverse reactions to my autistic behavior, yet fully unable to understand why or correct the situation.

[@Charity-vm4bt]

I totally get that. I see it in my employee.

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Well said

[@bearifiablepau2095]

why do you care so much? I mean it in the following sense: you do things the best way you know how, by the rules and following a moral code, therefore if somebody else reacts adversely, it's out of your hands. That happens to non-autistic people all the time. I believe it's important to have a real moral pillar (a moral compass so to speak) to always be secure in your integrity. Then it's possible to discern when one is at fault and when others are at fault. You have the right not to be treated like your actions are "bad" if the actually are not harmful and if your intention was not harmful. That's the rule of thumb. Good day.

[@sbsman4998]

@@bearifiablepau2095 It is the not being aware of the "why"

[@bearifiablepau2095]

@@sbsman4998 I get it. I know the frustration, even the pain, of somebody acting out and making it about me. But see... we don't always get to know why. And that is difficult for everybody.

[@odonnelldenise]

We LOVE your videos. We have known my 12 year old son has Aspergers for 5 years, but can't get a diagnosis. Your insights and advice have been so valuble because after too much time and money wasted with health "professionals" you have helped us more than most psychologists. People need to be understood and believed most. Improvements come after.🙏Thanks again😉💛💚💙

[@N17C1]

I work with a lot of engineers and they (not consciously) use the terms 'Engineers' and 'Humans' as two different groups. For example, we'll be discussing a safety assessment of a new design and one will make a comment like 'We have to think about what happens when this gets into the hands of humans'. They're great people to work with and I'm happy they have found a supportive place to work and be valued for their abilities.

[@christiangenger6113]

This is the third of your videos I’m watching, after ‘24 questions’ and ‘am I autistic’... and WOW! I’m nearly brought to tears at the age of 33 coming to a kind of ‘self awareness’ I never truly allowed myself to feel because admitting I was ‘different’ in my family of origin just left me highlighted and vulnerable to judgement or a different treatment as opposed to my siblings. Thank you, thank you so much for this channel and for so openly sharing yourself with the KZbin viewers. I found it interesting to note that my special interests are so similar to yours, and for similar reasons. I have always been a ‘geek’ about sociology, psychology, neuroscience and the like just to feel I could get a window into what others seemed to naturally come by. I felt inept, so I developed interest in that subject of ineptitude. I know not all who associate themselves with this condition have the same interests, of course, but the reasons you gave for your interests resonated so strongly inside me that I’ve audibly said ‘yes!’ Could there be enough thanks for the way I’ve felt ‘seen’ by your videos? Well, maybe, but it’s a lot... so, once more, THANK YOU!!

[@nicoleflo]

"If I didn't show you, you would never know" - I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Because I find myself showing people more and more when I start trusting them. Though cautiously, 'cause I'm still trying not to freak people out. It's a strange dynamic. I do find it pretty annoying when people say that. But mostly because I'm frustrated with all the misconceptions about autism. I don't really blame the person saying it at all, I just wish that so many people didn't expect autism to be something you can see on us. But yeah, it also makes me think "well duh, I've spent a long time and lots of energy learning to act like you expect me to!" For me this is also a main reason for making videos about it. You really explain it all very well in this video. Gonna share it on my social media. And YES! You need to meet lots of different people on the spectrum to understand it at all. Really looking forward to these interviews.

[@autismfromtheInside]

Thanks Nicci! :)

[@N17C1]

I find it takes me a very long time to trust anyone to share 'the real me'. Some make it easier than others and I try to be considerate of other peoples' way of communicating. One thing that I really enjoy is when other people with ASD stop in the middle of a conversation and say 'You're really easy to talk to'. I feel I've made their day a little less stressful.

[@AnnaMoomin]

Exactly. Sometimes I feel like saying 'do you want proof OK I'll send you my diagnosis letter' 😩😂

[@autismfromtheInside]

Yeah, that's frustrating. :(

[@lyndonleedalee1738]

+Josh V if every person is on the spectrum then autism doesn't exist. The people who cannot function have a diagnosis for a reason. The people who have a small issue functioning have a diagnosis for a reason.

[@MasiukA]

@Josh V not true. You need lots of other criteria to be diagnosed other than just social issues. And anxiety is not enough. It has to be actual deficits in natural social ability.

[@rendomstranger8698]

@Josh V I really hope you have leaned more about autism since you wrote that comment. Because I can tell you this for a fact. When you wrote that comment, you understood *nothing* about autism. The social anxiety is nothing more than a symptom of autism, and the problems is causes. This is something that every person on the spectrum is well aware of.

[@anti-republican319]

Josh V - Every one is NOT on the spectrum. That’s like saying everyone has Bipolar Disorder because people can experience happiness and sadness in the same day.

[@PianoMusicArtist]

You are so charming, Paul, I admire everything what you tell!

[@andrewmorton395]

I lernd the hard way. I am 61 its wern me out.

[@kalebbaxter7746]

I am just starting community college in berkely and majoring in psychology I sympathize with wanting to find a better way for people to understand each other, rock on

[@fleurcasilda4374]

"Wrong planet syndrome" lol this is so accurate & relatable, I've always felt like an Alien especially in my childhood.

[@lindamccanna1586]

My autistic son signposted me here and I loved the way you communicated your story. I work with young people with special educational needs, some of whom are on the spectrum so I am always trying to learn more. I still don't always get it right with my son so vids and channels like this re enormously helpful. Thank you

[@a-dutch-z7351]

My family from fathers side have many models in them, male and female, and I too have a facial traits which people consider attractive. But I rarely had use of it because I cannot cope people looking at me, makes me feel very very uncomfortable. Also eye-sight is something I cannot do. People often consider me arrogant because of it. People really think differently of you whilst inside, man, I really feel small most of the times. Especially when I am tired.

[@elizabethfree5294]

Yes! I tried modeling, but cameras make me shrink. Why? Couldn't tell you. People say I'm photogenic, but I don't look like what I feel like inside, so I have never liked what my pictures look like. So someone points a camera at me and I FREAK OUT inside. I make Sheldon Cooper faces.

[@undead4456]

I don’t want to toot my own horn but I know I’m pretty, my Dad is Basque Spanish and my Mom is polish Eastern European so I’m quite the lovely mix. I was never aware of that fact as a kid, the first time I finally realized that the meat sack I’m inhabiting is visually pleasing I was 17 and literally terrified of what that implies. I always got bullied as a kid and the last thing I wanted was any kind of attention. So tough luck. Now that I’m in my twenties and more experienced I can see it’s pros and cons. On one hand it’s nice because sadly the world is a very shallow place and prettiness does open doors in all walks of life. I can also use it as a tool to avoid certain social faux pas by just looking lovely and, supposedly, charming, all the while only internally dying. I suspect it’s a bit easier being an Aspie woman than a man. Especially if we’re talking dating/relationships. Men approach me and most like it that I’m quiet a lot, and when I do say something my awkwardness makes me “eccentric” or “endearing”. The best one I’ve heard after hyper focusing and info dumping about behavioralism in political science during a date is “intense in a hot way” 😂. But on the other hand it gets me into difficult situations more often than not because I attract more attention, mostly from men trying to get something, old and vindictive bitter women or women my own age that see me as competition sexually. I distinctly remember my high school BFF not letting my meet her boyfriend of 8 months because she was scared, fucking weird. It’s also often assumed that I’m stupid because my symptoms can make me looks ditzy on first glance. I also suck at being photographed, I tend to freeze up, or I bust out my 3rd grade smile. Professional.

[@minkeekat]

@@undead4456 omg, you just spoke my entire life, but now I’m old and not pretty , I wish I was as as unpretty as I was when I thought I was, but then again, maybe not, because now I’m safe, you’ll know what I’m saying about being “safe” and you’re absolutely right about opening doors. My god ….shallow people and jealous wives for zero reason, sad, very sad world, I feel like an alien a lot.

[@Wings91]

Looking forward to watching more of your videos! Thanks fellow Aussie !

[@kwanyin3332]

Paul be yourself. You are Special. I don't know if anyone ever told you You are a Crystal Adult. Much love!!! And keep sharing and Inspiring others.

[@runeshadowbeth]

Just found your channel and will be watching more of your videos. This was a great intro. Thank you!!

[@trolloftheyear7963]

I always thought I must have some strange mental defect because I too felt like I was on the wrong planet. I kept questioning my mother if I'd ever been dropped on my head because I thought I must have some brain damage since others are unable to understand me. For a long time I thought I was just an incredibly anxious person. I could never handle any kind of pressure. Still can't. I totally have that freeze cycle you talked about.

[@Lotthawottha]

Thanks for this. I got my diagnosis in March this year at the age of (almost) 28. I never felt so relieved in my entire life. I’m a woman, and I have read that it’s more difficult to diagnose women with an ASD. I really don’t like the ‘but you don’t look autistic’ or ‘I guess you have mild autism then’ reactions. Especially that last one, ‘mild autism’. It has nothing to do with me, but with people’s perception of me. The fact that they think I have a mild form, means that I’m especially good at compensating my ‘flaws’ and hiding what I truly think or feel. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have problems. It disturbs me that a lot of people try to minimalize my problems when I open up about it. They tell me things like ‘oh, but I’m also a little autistic. I like my stuff in the right place too!’ Then I’m like: really? That’s what autism is for you? Right after I’m telling you how much effect it can have on me, my partner, my life, my sanity? There are still too many stereotypes about autism in this world. I’m no rain man, so how could I possibly be autistic? At many times - and mostly at times when I hear other people’s conversations or when someone is talking to me - I wonder: who are the aliens on this planet? Me and all the other people with autism, or the ones who don’t have it?

[@Barncore]

Thanks for sharing your experience so that i can understand aspergers better. Gonna go watch a bunch of your vids now. I recently got diagnosed with ADHD-PI at the tender age of 32, and it has given me this level of compassion for non-neurotypical people. Brains are interesting

[@samamsterdam4301]

This is such an important video that a lot of people need to see. Very educational. Thank you Paul.

[@AmyLuAnne]

THIS. Oh my gosh, you described how I feel perfectly. I subscribed to your channel. I will be listening to more of your videos. Keep them coming.

[@Morcticiun]

OMG, it's like you'e read what's inside my soul, formed words and sentences from it and created a video to tell me and make me understand why and what I feel. Thank you so incredibly much! An Aspi from Germany

[@wandalee5010]

Wow! “Wrong planet syndrome”, I can definitely relate, I’ve spent my life studying people and trying to understand why people do what they do, especially cruel people, I just can’t comprehend why people are intentionally cruel. Why do serial killers exist? Why mean is mean and crazy is crazy and a general feeling of not fitting in with a cruel, dishonest, world. I have always been told I’m an Empath, or have a servant’s heart, highly empathic, even Codependent, but now I’m wondering if I’m on the spectrum too! Any way you want to label me, I don’t want to change who I am to try to fit into some boring little box that the so called normies want to put me into. Some of us were born to shine! Thank you for sharing your journey.

[@verdantis9960]

What a lovely voice and face, I'm sure I won't tire of your videos. Really glad to have discovered this channel. I was diagnosed as a teenager but when I hit my 20s it kind of fell under the radar as these things often do as people think you just grow out of it. This isn't the case at all. I'm now trying to understand how I work better and try to find ways of living with it. Looking forward to checking out more of your videos. I especially liked your 'okay I love you bub-bye' at the end. Reminds me of a cartoon I watched as a kid. xD

[@jojomama09]

I don’t wanna wear a mask anymore....

[@sniksnak559]

I know this is a really bad joke but I take jokes when I get the opportunity and this just age really well

[@lestariabadi]

No masking symptoms, but medical face-mask to protect from Covid is a must. I’ve lost a cousin’s wife & an aunt.

[@mrknuckles789]

@@lestariabadi you do realize that comment was made two years ago, right

[@lestariabadi]

@@mrknuckles789 yes. I just want to clarify, in case there are people not realizing what she means by mask.

[@tarotandmeditations]

@@lestariabadi it would have been more respectful to what they were saying to simply point out she wasn’t referring to Covid masks-rather than change the subject to Covid masks yourself.

[@tedoymisojos]

Thank you for putting this channel together

[@tyreebruce]

As a mom of a grown son I’m constantly having to explain to people that JUST because people can’t tell what’s going on in his head doesn’t mean he isn’t being stressed out! He doesn’t like ordering in restaurants so we don’t go out often. He doesn’t feel safe driving SO I’m not insisting he get his license. He looks normal sure but as his mom who loves him. I feel so blessed to know what’s going on in his head at least some of the time. No escalators, no elevators...no large crowds. No loud noises. It’s not easy being me but it’s harder being him and I respect that!

[@shaneoid361]

Hi from the UK. I've just been diagnosed with autism at 40, I just wanted to say I find your approach to these videos helpful. I look forward to more. Thanks.

[@autismfromtheInside]

Thanks Shaneoid

[@LR39LR40EDIT]

I get this all the time , I understand how you feel

[@farmerjoseph8683]

I just got diagnosed at 36 and my mother and her sister mock me saying that I dont have it and that those who do are much worse and have no structure......

[@mollylawson6409]

Thank you for sharing this information....I feel so relieved to have found you so i can truly learn what it all means.

[@fernandosandoval9218]

Thank you! Say it! Again! For the haters in the back! 👍👍

[@hisnewlife3543]

And I dont like being called a “retard” whether it is directed at me personally or about anyone for that matter. That is so cruel. It seems to me NTs are the ones who lack empathy.

[@tabbies4ever]

Thank you for doing this! Your videos are helping me a lot.

[@AurelienCarnoy]

From an other planet. Waw. That hit home in the feels. There is something to it there.

[@Dawoudkhalifa]

Many things of what you had said in your videos applies to me to some extend. I had even to learn facial gestures and how to react to something the "proper" way. Having older brother and sister made it easier to learn social norms and facial expressions, which I could interpret, but could never show them the right way on my face, i.e surprise, enthusiasm ect. However, I could naturally show the sad or happy face. Another problem I had to deal with is routine, I had strict routine that it made it really difficult for my parents to go places or to visit friends and family. I would always feel overwhelmed and that something heavy is pressing on my chest, so I would always keep nagging on my parents' head to take me back home. Our friends and family thought I was just a little brat that likes to ruin reunions. I remember a night when I was 4, I kept crying for hours tell I fell asleep after a night bath, because my mother couldn't find a matching pajama parts for me, I could never mix different pajama top and pants, they had to belong to each other! My father never listened to me when I get into these stuff, and he would just leave me till I calm down or fell asleep, my mother would try any solution to calm me down immediately. Then I had to learn that it is not a problem to mix pajama parts, but till now I never do it :P !!! When I grew up a bit, like in 4th grade, I realized I feel overwhelmed when a class mate tries to open a conversation with me or tell me about their weekend, and I always get afraid I am not giving the right face expressions and reactions so that they get bored and leave. I solved the problem with time, I think. No one ever thought I had a problem with me because according to my family I was very smart, I learned how to talk really early, and I was really articulate beyond my age, which made it even difficult for my parents to even think I might have a problem. I continued to be smart at school and uni which made it even more difficult for them to know why I am weird and hard to deal with sometimes. I started readying psychology books at the age of 13 to know why I was feeling so much different, till I found a book with my sister, which was studying psychology at collage, about childhood development, and it gave me many answers, and I got to know about Autism, but it wasn't so much like what I had, but in many ways I fit the symptoms, but I thought I was a high functioning autistic, which later on I learned that this concept really exists !!!!. Then after long year of reading about these stuff, I came across the term Asperger's syndrome, which was a great fit to what I have been suffering as long as I could remember. I was already over 20, but it made my life much easier to know I wasn't the only one with it, and that I have come a long road into learning how to be "normal". Now I accepted it, and I could deal with it in my life and career, but sometimes I just don't have the energy to deal with it anymore, and I just want to stay alone doing my favorite stuff, and readying about my favorite topic that I am really fascinated about, which is genetics. I could read about it for hours and hours without getting board. The sad thing is that I studied engineering, and now I am working as an Engineer in the research and development, and I can't seem to find a way out. I am 28 and I wish I could go and do biology or medicine that I always wanted to do :(

[@Charity-vm4bt]

Thanks for sharing your heart.

[@cheryljones9583]

Thank you so much for your videos. I have a 12 yo son with aspergers and I learn so much about how to help him from adults who have walked the path before him. The insight you provide is invaluable. Keep up the great work!

[@autismfromtheInside]

That's great to hear! Thanks Cheryl :)

[@JoeyIngles]

Great commentary. I recently ran into the exact same thing with someone whom I love and I know loves me back. Glad she is patient with me.

[@Charity-vm4bt]

It is a normal reaction if someone cares.

[@xenedraabourque1393]

Thank you for your time and the great video! Most people are afraid of what they can not understand or categorize. There is no such thing as "normal" I am me and you are you and if we understand things in a similar manner I say great!

[@subituning3048]

I appreciate your insight as my 4 year old son was diagnosed with autism at 2 and as he’s made major leaps in his oral communication and social interactions. He seeks sensory and is such a sweet kid with a lot of empathy for people, in general. I feel so blessed that I live in an area where they diagnosed him so early and where there’s an autism center and special school for special needs kids. He is becoming more high functional from his moderate diagnosis. I wouldn’t change him for the world and hope I can be intuitive enough to learn how to be the best dad for him and his younger brother. Thanks again 👍

[@wqwales]

Looking fwd to the rest of your content. Specifically I’m interested in finding new/better coping skills or maybe more effective ways to use ones I try now.

[@maggieoconnor7563]

Excellent as always. Thank you.

[@autismfromtheInside]

Thanks Maggie! :)

[@SharlenesJourney]

I think im autistic too but I also try to put that mask on too and if I cant cope with it im just like oh well lol then I just beat myself up about it that I screwed up something. And yes I feel different from everyone I dont feel “normal”

[@williamduplooy]

Ace! Very good analysis and yes it hurts to be told we are not what we seem to be - though it may be meant positive.

[@sputnik00]

Speech and drama lessons as a child contributed to my masking skills without my knowing till I came across some of your videos.

[@Mayonasium]

Apparently I was diagnosed with aspergers in the 3rd grade. My parents didn’t tell me until I turned 31, one of my sisters had figured it out, and I had been going to anxiety counseling for a year. Pretty crazy. That said, I’m not upset with them. They were trying to help me, and as you said, I never would have known had someone not told me, especially now that I live in Japan and most of my “weirdness” is dismissed as me being a foreigner. I’ve been taking time on my own to learn more about what this whole “aspergers” thing means, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t change who I am or who I’ve been over the last 30+ years so I see no reason to be upset at anybody for it. Videos are much appreciated. Thank you!

[@Ometecuhtli13thGate]

Thanks, man. I needed to hear these videos. I appreciate you.

[@garyg6000]

No, I could never get tired of hearing your voice.

[@jonathanmcnabb5685]

Thank you so much for this video. It captures my experiences so well.

[@NAVYA11]

yay - so looking forward to your *at least one *video per week !

[@nirtheart]

0:48 *yes please* that would've helped me a lot too. Here's a copy of 'very characteristic things to look at in order to see that yes I am Autistic too' download free now and save a fellow human being's frustration

[@autismfromtheInside]

lol. yeah I should do something like that :)

[@corinlanser]

Thank you for what you're doing with this channel. I definitely feel I'm living on the wrong planet in many ways, difficulty with social interactions with others - I can connect well but struggle with misunderstandings, I have an ability to pickup many tasks and trades but get bored easily with repetitive stuff so I struggle to commit to stay learning a skill for any length of time. I used to work in IT and did very well but I lacked meaningful connection with others I worked alongside (many of whom I realised now also likely are on the spectrum so that explains that), anyway these days everything technical is so much more complicated and the job is more about compliance and support roles are just very stressful for me so I quit and have jumped job to job to job ever since. Im lost, I've done kitchen work, construction, gardening for myself and commercially.... And not settled into anything. Currently cleaning and looking after overseas workers accommodation at an orchard. I have a high degree of autonomy and not that much in depth interactions with others which though I miss closer connection I do find gives me in some ways a better working environment but then the problem can be i get bored with simple, repetitive but physical tasks.. It's like I need the brain work, but without the stress that often comes with organising and planning in the chaos of the world I see around me. I need things to be slower and less overly complicated and when I can take more time I can do things very well and see clearly, intuition then is able to guide me etc.. I have found it beneficial to discuss worries and problems with my boss about how I work or what is expected of me.. Though it's difficult often to get her time if she's busy with others or other things.. But I do feel more communication and improving communication is helping me in all aspects of my life.. Though it frustrates me more the more I interact with others and get into conversation where we differ in opinion about how things should be done. I'm trying to just perserve and hopefully one day I can find the 'perfect'job which I know doesn't exist. Im living in smaller towns and communities at the moment and though I find it so beneficial being able to be in nature easily, for example 2 minute drive at lunch to be by the river and I stay in a community at the moment with lots of land around, there are less job opportunities and you often need to connect even better with others to fit in and find work. I've been trying to just change around my working and living environments and see if j can find a better way. It seems for me better to have more time for myself away from others or with minimal interaction than in a daily job with many pressures working with others and the difficulties that can bring.. but..I crave connection with others as we're a social species, so it's a difficult problem that one! Volunteering has been interestingg but not without challenges as they like I show a genuinesly friendly face in the charity shop and try to create order and improve existing systems such as how we price or display things, But the cost to me of widening my social circle and interaction with the public more in my work can be difficulties at times understanding other volunteers with their own problems as well as different views over the frustration I have at lack of order, chaos as I can see it and difficult customers can upset or frustrate me. I feel more that I am 'normal'and everyone else is strange. They go about more like robots and are able to be unaffected by the things in life and ways of behaving that I see as wrong or difficult for others. I am very conspiratorial and view much of the for profit systems as us humans at the bottom of society being controlled or enslaved and just accepting this does, I feel make us less human as we are not 'free'to live up to our potential as we could, when we are in chains .. But many others just seem happy to consume and 'belong', collectively unconscious as a group constantly running on the wheel like the mouse, with no real purpose or end goal for life other than doing what society expects in keeping your mouth shut and contributing economically, raising the next generation and keeping busy enough to not really think about life and purpose too much. Anyway sorry I went off the point quite a bit but some good examples of how I can struggle with many aspects of life too Thanks again I've subscribed and maybe I'll do my own blog one day although I don't like to talk on video, prefer to write.. KZbin is the way these days though..I know as I'm watching blogs a lot of my free time when I'm not in nature.. Oh positive advice from me definitely meditate, it's not easy but that's really useful to me learning about this and trying to go into my inner world and inner peace even just for brief moments really slows and calms the body and mind and all the noise, chatter worry and anxiety that can come up... My suggestion check out Alan watts, Eckhart tolle and learn about the past and Eastern traditions and feel better that there were or are other ways for societies or individuals to think and function.. Look up the shadow and Carl Jung.. Just don't give up trying to improve your own skills, knowledge, understanding of yourself this planet and others.. It's f56king tiring and draining of energy but it's something positive rather than focusing on negative like I used to in younger days. Oh another suggestion.. Get creative in whatever ways you can.. I started to paint and although I struggle to focus and learn technique I love throwing paint down and creating abstract stuff that whatever anyone else thinks.. Which they do actually seem to like..I find it very therapeutic. Pay attention to your body and mind. Try yoga and deep breathing exercises. Any activity that actually slows and calms you down, makes you more present in tasks, whether alone on a task, out in nature, or talking with another person, will help you manage stress and anxiety that comes up just trying to belong in this modern world Good luck all xx

[@asambatyon]

I just discover this vlog, thanks for it. This is so much like my experience. I remember telling people: "Hey, I have aspergers, from time to time I may do something weird, so please cut me some slack" The common reply is: "Hey, you don't behave like an aspergers, I don't believe you". Then a few months later something weird happens, and they get very upset at me. In particular, someone who always claimed I was totally not autistic and I was just made it up, she called me to tell me her grandma had died. As with every video call (which I usually don't take because I don't like calls or videocalls), I smiled which caused a lot of drama. Saddest thing is, this person was later telling other friends I had no heart because I had smiled when she gave me the bad news.

[@elenaovcharuk8529]

Only one friend of mine supports me with this. Others - the family too - say something like "You're normal, just make more effort, you'll grow up, it will disappear somehow"...

[@selaraye5567]

Such a good way with words!!! Thank you thank you thank you for making these videos. Also I love your sense of humor

[@autismfromtheInside]

thanks! :)

[@ifrahmangojuice407]

@@autismfromtheInside, e

[@ifrahmangojuice407]

Autistic

[@bonnybreddels7666]

I thought your channel already was really good, because you explain things so good. Looking forward to these videos 😊

[@autismfromtheInside]

Thanks Bonny :)

[@iahelcathartesaura3887]

I don't look autistic? What do you want me to do, spaz out & slobber all over myself or something? Watch my face. Watch my body when I'm overwhelmed. You will see it. But you shouldn't try to see it, just be with ME. Just. Be. With. Me. Each word is critically important in that sentence :) Paul, I'm so used to your voice, great & helpful thought trains, that it's extremely comforting for me. What is it Data used to say on Star Trek Next Generation? "Your functional parameters have become familiar to me." 🤗🤗🤗

[@olympiahendrix4392]

Very brave of you. Useful as well.

[@LadyBug3178]

Love the way you say what you said in this video.

[@NeurodiverJENNt]

Mind blown with that first point!!

[@trscubes183]

Thank you for sharing!

[@Taking_Back_Thyme]

I have an adult son who may have Aspergers, but isn’t so keen to seek a psychologist. My question is, if a person doesn’t look like they are autistic, what does autism look like? My son is perfectly normal physically and quite intelligent. As I’ve been watching your videos, I can relate to your experiences as a child growing up and not fitting in. And as a mother, I do believe an official diagnosis would be helpful on many levels. For the same reasons you stated. Thank you for doing these videos. I am praying my son will be receptive and watch them.

[@robokill387]

Autism doesn't have a specific "look", autistic people can look like anything, it's behaviour and thinking that's different, though even then it can be very subtle and some adults "mask" so it's even harder to tell.

[@barneygoogle6002]

I'm in my 50's and didn't know this was me until i saw one of your vids. I cried about 3/4 of h way thru your vid and was like wait ... now i now what the problem with me is! Thank you for being out there...

[@damonknight2494]

i used to have people who told me i didn't look autistic, my response was thank you i try really hard not to have it show

[@kstar6508]

Well said. Your words resonate with me.

[@theresamaryoneill8513]

I am grateful. If your blogs also... Thank you..

[@JesusLovesYouPerfectly]

hey Paul, the only thing you look like is you and that's good enough. I too am on the spectrum, on the higher functioning end, so I understand a lot of what you talk about. just keep being who are, aspergers and all, and don't let anyone or anything get you down.

[@autismfromtheInside]

Thanks :)

[@azzymj]

Happy New Year!

[@autismfromtheInside]

Thanks :)

[@JJTheKaraokeRideshareDriver]

Here to show support for your channel and your cause as a fellow creator. I discovered a couple years ago that I have trouble staying focused and my attention span give out at 1 1/2 hours of the same activity. Adult onset ADD (or I guess some may call is ADHD).

[@m.pixley8413]

You cant tell a left handed person by looking (until they use their hands of course!) ..nor can you usually tell a dyslexic by looking though being dyslexic myself I sometimes can. Yet these are all large differences in perception.

[@JustJen1386]

I’m not on the spectrum but I have a LOT in common with y’all (bipolar, couldn’t understand social cues) and when some friends in my 20s said they thought I was popular in high school I was like OMG THANK YOU I CANT BELIEVE I MADE IT AHHHAHAH

[@forestocean7625]

You're awesome, thanks for these videos.

[@autismfromtheInside]

Thanks! You're welcome. Glad you appreciate them :)

[@mjil2009]

I wasn't diagnosed til my 40s!

[@Blackafternoon]

OMFG CAN YOU PLEASE DO STAND UP COMEDY!!! THIS IS GOLD! hahahahah

[@fibresynthetique]

Sounds Great ! Thank you, I guess I'm going to find interesting content here :)

[@gregdaley1814]

Person "You don't look autistic!" Me: "I know, right. You didn't look like an ignorant bigot yet here we are. Isn't it nice to learn new things about people."

[@danieldaniels7571]

This comment needs so many more upvotes.

[@DeadpanVT]

I would be more mean "yeah and you didn't look like an ignorant bigot till you opened your mouth."

[@emrsngs]

Oh my ---, you nailed it on the head. No one believes I have it and they laugh, thinking I'm ridiculous and attention-seeking. I'm constantly trying to figure out social situations that looked exactly the same as the one 10 minutes ago but apparently my reaction to this second one makes me a jerk. So frustrating and exhausting and leaves you feeling berated by those that could offer, at a minimum, neutrality? I get everyone has their own hardships. But just bc I'm taking it so well that you think I have none doesn't mean you can dump your junk all over me. I'm trying to survive in your world. Not the other way around.

[@pamtufnell6751]

I went to the autistic centre for counselling and got asked if I'm a volunteer

[@gahreen01]

Your voice in a broader sense made me a patreon supporter! I grow tired of my own voice often.

[@Crouteceleste]

I 100% relate with all of this video, except the part were people tell me I don't look like it, because I look weird. It's not the shape of my face or anything, it's apparently the stillness and directness of my eyes (even though I can't maintain eye contact for very long), or the lack of visible emotions (I was even surprised myself to see that if I smile normally and then look myself in the mirror, I can't really see it either).

[@chrispeach85]

"that would otherwise be unnecessary in my life" - absolutely nailed it! 🤣

[@jisookim2178]

Now finally everything makes sense in my life.

[@factoryresetearth]

I love your voice & your videos. I'm so grateful for the information that you're sharing with the rest of us that feel like aliens. 🖖

[@mariai.g.r.2786]

What I really meant in my previous comment is that getting on the offensive when asked this question won't get us anywhere. of course I am also tempted to get cranky but then I realize that of course they don't have a clue! I myself didn't have a clue until very recently when I started to learn about autism after getting my diagnosis. We can't really blame people for not knowing what autism is. They need us to explain what it is and getting offended won't help them to want to listen and learn.

[@autismfromtheInside]

completely agree. thanks for the comment :)

[@Charity-vm4bt]

Exactly! Can I hire you? I could not have said it better! You need your own channel. Hey, we non-ASDs need to be understood, also.

[@autismfromtheInside]

@@Charity-vm4bt Bridging the 'Aspie-Normie Divide' as a friend of mine says :)

[@IamCree]

We can't blame them for not knowing, but we can hold them accountable for judging and acting like they know more than the person who has the actual condition. It's rude. I would never tell someone they didn't look like they had a condition they just told me they had. I would assume there was a gap in my knowledge and go research it later. Or I would just ask them what it's like for them to try and learn how the condition affects them in ways I can't see or didn't understand.

[@AnnesreborndollsandfunW]

Exactly!!! I am still working it out ...

[@puscifer99]

I was told by my old boss that I didn't have Asperger's since they had removed it from the DSM5, so I have nothing wrong with me so start acting normal.

[@MasiukA]

Your boss is a dumbass. Everyone previously diagnosed is supposed to be rediagnosed with ASD level 1

[@odonnelldenise]

@@MasiukA Good to know. Thank you

[@puscifer99]

The problem being, unlike missing an arm or leg you cannot physically see and ASD is a broad spectrum. Thus people tend to test the validity of the claim, this is a common occurrence for anywhere I have worked.

[@Topg1]

That is a form of discrimination

[@puscifer99]

@@Topg1 I was assured that it wasn't discrimination since my disability is not it DSM-5, therefore, you cannot discriminate on nothing.

[@BarbaraMerryGeng]

At this point - I don’t take it to heart that most people don’t understand me. I realize it’s not my job to expand their awareness. It’s my job to be responsible for myself. Lots of people misunderstand things - not us .. I’m ok with it , now.

[@kili9395]

I'm neurotypical learning about asd. I have learned a lot in 27 years and I am a quick learner, but asd takes time and effort and too many give up trying to understand. I think one thing neurotypicals do not get is that this is not a condition that looks the same on everyone or that it is easily identified through behaviors. I finally know enough examples to see the vast differences and the similarities. As for facial features, studies show that those with asd often have facial attributes that are more symmetrical, hence more appealing to the eye than your average person. So next time you see a gorgeous person, realize she/he may have asd lol. Just maybe though. Asd's also have the ability to see symmetry better. Just an interesting side note.

[@eca2641]

🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 What the hell does a spectrum entity even look like, please, pray tell? I WISH I could have a little bundle download for those loved ones that just can't "see" "it". Just slip this into your brain, try not to run, screaming down the street or you might get called a few names I'm personally familiar with annnnnnd there ya go. Uuugh. Fun stuff.

[@Suebee1988]

"I don't look autistic? Of course not! It's the way I part my hair!"

[@vynedvyne59]

This is a great message good job