Your cats are at risk if you let them fight it out! What to do instead

Life is hard when your cats don't get along. A slow, gradual introduction is hard going - it's time consuming, full of ups and downs and a logistical nightmare. Putting them together and letting them deal with it on their own can feel like a good alternative, one fight and it's over, they'll know who's in charge and you can all move on with your lives. However, this is not how things work with cats, and you can end up with two very scared little kitties, living a life full of stress.
In todays video, I explain the risks of using this method to introduce cats, and what I would recommend doing instead. I know it's hard work, but we own it to them to do what we can to make it work!
Let me know your thoughts in the comments :)
If you'd like to know more about cat behaviour, my book - The Book Your Cat Wishes You Would Read - is available here: amzn.to/4aZP2Dy and on audible here: amzn.to/3HmzEDG

[@ELP1017]

We have tried everything with our two cats. The older cat attacks the younger cat whenever she sees her. When we brought the younger cat home we did everything we were supposed to. The new cat was kept in a separate room for an entire month. After a couple weeks the cats were able to smell each other through a screen. They had supervised interaction time each evening for weeks. Toys and beds were swapped. After the first month we had to let the younger cat out because she was getting too stir crazy in her isolation room. So now both cats are free in the house, which is big enough that they can stay away from each other. They have separate litter boxes and eat on separate floors of the house, but whenever the older cat spots the younger cat she viscously growls and attacks. It's so strange because the older cat has always lived with a 2nd cat before. The younger cat was initially ready to be friends, but now she is terrified of the older cat, who always resorts to violence. We even tried Feliway diffusers to no effect. Bought some of the Jackson Galaxy Bully solution drops, no effect. No idea what to do now other than to just try to keep them apart. Wish the older cat could just learn to ignore the younger one.

[@lucyhoile-felinebehaviourist]

That sounds realy hard, I hope they can get along better soon. I spoke about a similar situation in todays live, hopefully it will be helpful if you're able to give it a watch. :)

[@annag1202]

We’ve been doing slow introduction for almost 10 months now Lucy and we’re stuck at the screen door stage. They are fine as long as there’s a physical barrier but on the couple of occasions we had them together in the same room a horrendous fight broke out immediately. We have 2 bonded brothers 3 years old and our new female who’s 15 months old now. All 3 are fixed and indoor cats. Former street cats we adopted from Dubai but they were all rescued young, at around 4 months old, so they didn’t experience street life for long. They have separate headquarters for litter box, feeding etc and we have to only let them roam around the house when the other is away sleeping in their own HQ. The boys happily share and the girl has her own space. They share the whole house, except for their safe spaces, so their scents are very well established everywhere. It’s getting to feel hopeless and really exhausting doing this rotation thing. Will they ever get along?

[@lucyhoile-felinebehaviourist]

@@annag1202 That sounds so exhausting! It can be so difficult at times. Is there any way you can set them up for a successful meeting without the screen door? You could keep it super short and sweet (a few minutes is better than no minutes!), use treats you know they love to keep them distracted, and set up the space to encourage them to settle, with lots of high places, hiding places, resting areas etc. Your question of will they ever get along, sadly we have no way of knowing. You can only try as gradually / cautiously as you can and see how it goes. It sounds like you are doing all the right things, fingers crossed it works out for you!

[@annag1202]

@@lucyhoile-felinebehaviourist thanks Lucy, we have tried this a couple of times, and only having the female meet one boy at a time so not too overwhelming, but within seconds a fight starts. It’s the female, Elsie, that starts it despite being much smaller, and now both boys are scared of her and showing defensive body language and making awful noises so she attacks immediately. Nobody can be distracted by treats or toys. It seems like she wants to show dominance over them somehow. I think she did have to defend herself from big male cats on the street and it’s just stuck with her. We absolutely love all of them and really want it to work out, we will keep trying but otherwise we’re fortunate that my daughter will be able to take Elsie on next year if we don’t succeed. Cat introductions are definitely not as easy as Jackson Galaxy said!! Very grateful for your channel. Thanks so much

[@lucyhoile-felinebehaviourist]

@@annag1202 It sounds like you have a really hard situation there - I'm sorry, because it really isn't easy! You are trying so hard, and they clearly mean so much to you, I hope you can find a way that starts working for them. You could always see if a behaviourist could come to visit and see if that helps. But it is reassuring to know you have a back up plan if it doesn't work out. They can be so tricky sometimes x

[@MrZnarffy]

You have to understand how cats and territories work, and how those can overlap. Trying to get two unfixed toms to get along is a pretty pointless exercise. Getting a tom and a female cat to share goes fine.. two females, not going to go very well.. An unfixed female and a fixed tom, no, they clash.. And if they clash, they will clash forever pretty much.. I had a tom, and a neighbour 2km away had one.. They fought for years for their territory overlap until the neighbours cat was run over..

[@lucyhoile-felinebehaviourist]

Neutering is the way! 😄

[@MrZnarffy]

@@lucyhoile-felinebehaviourist Neutering is REALLY REALLY bad.. Have you ever owned a non-neutered tomcat? They are totally different mentally. Much calmer, less moodswings where you get scratched for rubbing their belly wrong etc.. Neutering is known to alter an animals "personality" to some degree. Would you neuter your child, or have a hysterectomy done on your daughter? I mean, it is the same procedure... Also, for things like dangerous animals, it is very much avoided, which should also give you a hint it really does affect their personality. You don't neuter a male lion normally in a zoo, even if you don't want cubs from them. Because it might be dangerous for the staff....

[@Nictoriously]

​@MrZnarffy what a load of rubbish.

[@MrZnarffy]

@@Nictoriously What do you base that "rubbish" on? There haven't been done as far as I know any serious studies on cats, but there has been some on dogs... For example: McGreevy, P. D., Wilson, B., Starling, M. J., & Serpell, J. A. (2018). Behavioral risks in male dogs with minimal lifetime exposure to gonadal hormones may complicate population-control benefits of desexing. OR: Duffy, D. L., & Serpell, J. A. (2012). Non-reproductive effects of spaying and neutering on behavior in dogs. OR: Hart, B. L., et al. (2020). Assisting Decision-Making on Age of Neutering for 35 Breeds of Dogs: Associated Joint Disorders, Cancers, and Urinary Incontinence. You REALLY don't know what you are talking about....

[@lightbox617]

After I outgrew dogs (I was living in the midwest) and moved to hcondos and 8th floor apartments in Urban Newark, NJ, I have never taken or allowed a cat outside. Basically; just to dangerous

[@lucyhoile-felinebehaviourist]

Ah! Yes many cats adjust to apartment life very well! 😄