Youth Sports: What Parents Need to Hear To Help Their Kids Develop into Good or Great Athletes

Helping your kids and their teams succeed in youth sports is neither obvious or intuitive to most of us. We need some outside professional perspective to get it right. Today, most are getting things horribly wrong. This video is an interview with Peter Mattsson, the elite sports director of the Swedish Sports Confederation. He understands that to succeed at the highest level in sports, we must learn to succeed at the lowest levels. Many, many players who have enormous potential to make it at the highest levels (or simply enjoy amateur sports for life) are quitting before the age of 12, when it's simply too early to tell anything about their potential. Not only are we not getting things right as loving and supportive parents, we're usually adding unnecessary pressure and increasing the risk of injury to our kids. This eye-opening video will hopefully form the basis of some smart discussion for any sports team or club, jumpstarting a dialog between the parents and the coaches about how long the season should be, how many away-tournaments they should play, how many hours they should practice, how to help them get more free play, what to do about yelling coaches, and creating policies regarding what parents should say (or rather not say) on the sideline and in the car on the way home -- all to help keep the kids from getting injured or quitting early. Good news is that fixing the system isn't that complicated.

[@00Marez00]

Oh man.... I've been doing this all wrong... my son is 9 and plays in comp soccer.. I know I am really hard on him. As he always looks over for my approval. I would prefer to see him having fun, then taking the game this seriously. Thank you for posting this video.

[@nofurtherwest3474]

It is great that you can admit this though. My son is in the same boat.

[@Wheels-tk9dh]

It's all on how you have raised him , if the only time your hard on him or yell/discipline him at all is during practice/training and games then being hard won't work . Good luck to the both of you and your sons 💯 💪

[@jaffacake9433]

Very interesting interview. Thank you. Single sports mum to a 13 year old basketball athlete. He was head-hunted by a big team, and I have many misgivings about the level of stress and competitiveness that these kids live under. He is set on playing with that team, and the level is higher than anything we have locally, but I sometimes do think that there is a lack of general learning and a focus on winning leagues and tournaments. The high scorers are given priority over other well-rounded players and I always feel things are being done with a skewered vision of the future and with a lack of support for the mental health of these young athletes. Some parents on the benches are way too pushy and demanding. Which is understandable to a point, when people are investing time and money, but they are only children, and I can't help think of the damage being done emotionally and psychologically. I sometimes ponder if it wouldn't be better to put him back in a local team, where he can learn all kinds of skills without the ultra competitiveness and individuality that comes with elite sports, but I would then have to live with the "what if"...what if he doesn't go further because I didn't invest the time and effort... Then I tell myself, whoever is going to make it, will probably make it anyway, regardless. But still. Tough to know if you are doing the right thing or not as a parent, when you haven't played the sport or been an athlete at that level or from such a young age. Videos like these are interesting and insightful.

[@alivenumber5]

Generally high school is the age where it’s seen as ok to get “serious” but by that point they’re in control of their own involvement. One or two camps during the summer and a ton of improvements can be made quickly. Keep it low key until then. I missed out on my entire 4 years of middle school sport and still made the high school varsity team. These days parents think they need to push them a young ages when that’s just not the case.

[@josew.6423]

This is the key part "lack of general learning and a focus on winning". I've been coaching kids soccer U10 for a couple of seasons, and more and more I find discussions on wrongly focusing on winning instead of development. Kids develop at different rates, and focus really has to be on development on youth athletes. My kid is 9, I know is tough, we try to do our best with the information we have. At the end the kids will walk their own paths.

[@pheonyxior_5082]

Great to see you back !

[@genmathletesmentaltoughnes6169]

Really great interview! Touched on many aspects of youth sport psychology like introducing fun and not using critical language. Whenever I get the chance to ask sport psychologists who work with children about their biggest challenge, surprisingly the answer was always: 'Parents'.

[@deepakgopalsharma]

Great interview, so much to take away from this video.

[@rabitoblanco]

My 11yo recently asked to play soccer-- I immediately started looking up nearby clubs when he said "but I don't want to join a club, I just want to play for fun!" Try and find a "just fun" soccer game in Metro Atlanta, for kids! It's kind-blowing difficult, and immediately I realized the problem here! Great video, thank you.

[@HEC892]

There should be recreational leagues in the area even YMCA ?

[@eakherenow]

Excellent.Thank you.

[@davidtorres8396]

I am thrilled to see an interview with an expert on this, especially as we look back on a few years of COVID. Managing youth sports is a big part of my job so I am thoroughly enjoying learning more about what really helps the kids because at the end of the day, youth sports programs are for THEM.

[@mosocceracademy8998]

The topic and video shed light on the pressure that youth athletes experience and question why such burdens are placed on kids. In terms of parents, we often try to empathize and imagine how we would handle situations if we were in their place. However, it's crucial to recognize that the child, not the parent, is the one in that position. Especially in sports like soccer/football, split-second decisions are imperative, involving looking, hearing, defending, dribbling, and turning. The last thing they need is someone else shouting instructions on what to do and where to go. Conversely, many clubs and teams prioritize wins, rankings, and trophies for marketing purposes, often sacrificing quality for quantity. This intense pressure to win is imposed on kids, with potential consequences if they don't meet expectations. But why ? Lastly, it's imperative to listen to and understand what the child enjoys, rather than forcing them to pursue a sport solely based on a parent's preference. If a child doesn't find joy in a sport but is pushed into it due to parental wishes, fear, or embarrassment, it's important to reassess. We must reevaluate the essence of youth sports and recognize that not every child will reach the highest professional level. Instead, we should focus on understanding each child's limits and providing a supportive environment that fosters their individual growth

[@SlociVideos]

O upp oo😊omio

[@SlociVideos]

Ooäp😊look ok😅i upp oo 😅iOhio i Om o lio😅 27:29 oo😅o lo😅 ok ok😊 ok o Ol om 27:46 😊 😊

[@tzeboss8354]

I am in Norway and this is not true. Those who suceed in Norway dedicate themselves to training. We Are good at skiing beacause we have a lot of snow. + skiing is all about condition so you can Get that from many sports. + not many countries ski. Thats why we have so many olympic medals. + we are rich so we can afford to train a lot and have access to facilities.

[@rethinkingtourism4862]

Was just looking at official norwegian sports policy.

[@jams1953]

Thank you

[@jarhead_jr]

The size of the US makes it a challenge to not have a pay to play system. If you live in a big city, there are opportunities to play teams locally, but if you are in a more rural area, there may not be another team for 50 miles in the sports that are less popular. I listened to an interesting podcast about Belgium's youth soccer program and they cited the small size of the country makes it very easy to have lots of local teams and you never have to travel far even to go to the other end of the country. Also easier to unite a common philosophy.

[@victord7770]

I think is the lack of an integrated football pyramid what causes the pay to play to flourish. The size is a challenge but I think large countries just need to regionalised their leagues in earlier tiers to reduce travel. England regionalises from tier 6, Germany from tier 4 and Spain from tier 3. It is not only the “size” of the country but the financial strength of the clubs that will allow them to cover a larger geographical area (senior team I mean). Maybe the US needs to regionalise at Tier 2 or even tier 1 but only if pro/rel is introduced. Otherwise it is just irrelevant.

[@funhouse7812]

Just take a look at athletes like Tiger Woods, Floyd Mayweather and Serena Williams, just to name a few.. All of their fathers were heavily involved and critical of their development. It’s pretty obvious that the more you train, the more you get out of it.

[@rethinkingtourism4862]

If you look at the data, i think you'll find that those are exceptions to the rule

[@spacecadet2226]

Great content and conversation. Terrible transition music.

[@johnhusks]

At 33.10 he talks about books, what books are these?

[@Iaotle]

While I mostly agree, I think Norway specifically also has genetics and a landmass conducive to practicing olympic sports, which makes them have a massive advantage. Being 2m tall and having godlike genetics along with a crapton of mountains always nearby probably helps them dominate sports.

[@mosijahi3096]

What sports do they dominate ?

[@Brandon-mv6yv]

You sound very biased and love Norway. I don’t see them dominating basketball but I digress.

[@Iaotle]

@@Brandon-mv6yv my dude I don't love Norway and I'm not really biased, but they do have a predisposition towards being tall and adapted to the climates and activities that feature in winter Olympic sports. Biathlons, for instance. Growing up with fresh air, virgin nature, and mountainous terrain gives you more opportunities to engage in skiing, hunting, and many other similar activities. I don't see how this is so controversial lol. Have you seen Marit Bjørgen?

[@Iaotle]

​@@mosijahi3096did you watch the video? They won the Beijing Olympics. If you want a record of their Olympic medals it's just a Google search away

[@tylermaxgolf]

America is all about competition, so how do you teach your child to have fun but also have the competitive spirit so they dont get left behind their peers

[@rethinkingtourism4862]

I think if they keep focus on having fun, that competitive part will kick in in a healthier way with less pressure.

[@ekann]

❤

[@mactook129]

Track your progress Consistent Identify problems and fix them

[@jodaddylv]

Just googled which country has the most Olympic medals. The United States of America is number one and Norway is not in the top 10. We must be doing something, right

[@niklaswikstrom78]

Yes, what you are doing right is having 300 Million people

[@si-hung9759]

Population and GDP. Need to have a large population pool with sufficient $ for coaching and facilities to train.

[@rethinkingtourism4862]

That stat is most olympic medals per capita.

[@Erik_The_Viking]

Sadly way too many parents here in the US (especially here!) forget that 99.99999% of their kids will never play professionally. Kids just want to enjoy sports and unfortunately parents make everything a competition. It's ridiculous - they're putting too much pressure on them and they're quitting as a result. Kick the parents out.

[@smilingearth5181]

Exactly. In American baseball alone, only about 1% of eligible high school players will even get drafted, and only about 5-10% of those draftees will ever get promoted to a MLB squad. Way too many parents are putting way too much pressure on their kids to achieve something that, unless they're a prodigy, isn't going to happen and, if it does, puts inconceivable strain on their bodies and minds. We're not that far removed from the time when an ACL tear was a career-ending injury.

[@Erik_The_Viking]

@@smilingearth5181 I remember those days when an ACL tear meant your career was over. It wasn't all that long ago.

[@joshuamalott3748]

@@smilingearth5181depends on the sport. For basketball and football you have 70k and 130k professional players worldwide. An American player who trains hard enough with the right coaching has options in many countries. Baseball and American football are limited to the states and have drastically lower numbers with 6200 and 1700 total professional players respectively.

[@nofurtherwest3474]

I wouldn't mind at all being "kicked out". I want my kid to play without me watching because I don't want me to be a distraction. I often ask him if he wants me there or not and he seems to be fine with me there.

[@Catch_XXII]

I dont think people forget that. Most parents want kids in sports for them to learn the life lessons that you gain from sports.

[@ntimeproductions]

These videos are always talking about and giving examples of why parents shouldn't push their kids, and they should just let them have fun. But how about the many examples where parents did push their kids and they became very successful? Cherry picking to support your argument is wrong! Also, making the argument that Parents aren't sitting there in school, cheering them on while they take a test is ridiculous. Sports are entertainment and not a requirement for life. Learning to read and write are absolutely a necessity, and when a child is doing poorly in school, we absolutely do address it as parents. There is a time and place for everything, and saying that pushing your child to do better is wrong is not right either. My father coached me and was at all my games even when he wasn't coaching me, and he was the loudest one there. I loved it and wish he had lived long enough to see how good I became. It was a love for the sport that brought us together and not further apart. My brother and I hated it when our mother would tell us that we played a good game when we knew we didn't. There is a happy median, and as a parent, we must know when to push and when to take a step back.

[@stringfellowgaming]

Talk is always nice, but Sweden has one of the worst environments in Europe for soccer. They allow "academy" teams do whatever they want pretty much and they do not have any rules to take in account the relative age effect or anything. Other European countries are way ahead when it comes to creating the right environment for kids relative their level. As always in Sweden they love to talk a good game but they do not touch the most idiotic academies like BP, DIF, AIK etc. they can do what they want no matter what.

[@niklaswikstrom78]

Do you always make up your own facts?

[@sqballer145]

7:03 in the video I hear a huge fart get ripped 😅

[@MafiosoStyle1340]

Sports wouldn’t be as awesome without the cheering tho. That’s part of what makes sports fun.

[@nofurtherwest3474]

At the professional or college level yes, but at youth there is way too much noise from the parents.

[@AgrajRMarak]

Wrong philosophy.Most of the famous athletes first coache were their parents/siblings/relatives .

[@niklaswikstrom78]

Nope

[@raiden031]

I kinda disagree that having parents act indifferent towards their kids sports is going to turn them into world class athletes.

[@niklaswikstrom78]

Yes who cares about evidence, just disregard all we know on the topic.

[@CrankyMonkey05]

This is dumb… you make it sound like it’s a modern day problem. Sports is a competition. In fact, before team sports, throughout history, competitive events were deadly!! They slowly changed and Greece honored their olympians who work hard at their skill. This let them have fun is the modern day inclusion, the entitlement of everyone must have the chance…but sports at its core, it’s a competition and a competition cannot be equal. They are always looking for improvement, by increased skill, physical ability, and mental superiority. The better person win. So if Norway wants to hold hands and have fun, that their problem. Plp in different countries have different needs and approach things differently. Here certain parts of this country, if a minority doesn’t bust their behind playing basketball, baseball, football etc, is hard as hell to reach a high level of wealth. Norway doesn’t have that social economic pressure n problem

[@raiden031]

I think a lot of this stuff is misdiagnosed. Despite the culture of americans to want to win at all levels of play, we still dominate some sports. We dominate sports thay we heavily invest in and that attract the best athletes, it's as simple as that. Soccer is one of those sports where we don't, and instead rely too much on self-funded development and not enough money at the pro level. Economics does filter out promising players in this sport. Its not because parents care too much about their kids performance.

[@What-he5pr]

Swedish sports model: all the women are running constantly away from migrants.

[@sammymarrco2]

What are you talking about ? I know the Immigration situation in Sweden needs some help but…?

[@What-he5pr]

@@sammymarrco2 rape capital of Europe lmao.

[@claudioccornejo]

The migrants are violent and see society different? What are u blind?

[@PULAG]

Cool speech an adult wrote for that 9 yr old, totally bought it. What kinda kid has too much stress when they literally hace zero responsibility? Cute

[@mosijahi3096]

My point - these are first world problems. How many of these kids whom they are referring to are going hungry, parents are getting killed, don’t know when the next time they’re going to eat?