[YTP] IT'S WWWIIINNNDDDOOOWWWSSS!!!

A complete remake of my 2010 YTP "Steve Ballmer Sells Clean/Dirty Windows", except it's almost nothing like the original aside from preserving some classic jokes!
Fun fact, this YTP is 5x longer than the original source material, so give me some credit for squeezing this many stupid jokes out of it, eh?
HD 60fps version of the "Steve Ballmer Sells Windows" source contained here: • Microsoft Windows 95 L...
Version of Passport.mid used at the end: • PASSPORT.MID played on...
Alternative titles I didn't go with:
STEVEMICROMERSOFTBALL
MICROSTEVESOFTBALLMER
MICROBALLSTEVESOFT
BALLSTEVEMERWINDOWSOFT
BEVE STALLMER SMELLS WINDOWS ONE POINT TOE
-------------------------------------------------
SuppuS me on Patreon: / cs188
FolloF me on Twitter: / cs188
I don't stream on Twitch much these days, but in case I do: / cs188

[@elc1960]

I don't care that I'm 63 years old and laughing at these videos. They're funny as hell and I enjoy them! There are only a handful of YTP creators out there that are doing anything remotely classifiable as art, and you're one of them. Please keep making them!

[@TTMS-Khaz-kun]

Absolute W moment

[@CaptainBlitz]

That is unbelievably wholesome wow ❤

[@JanusHoW]

Wow, you're enjoying these at your age? Now I don't feel so bad about doing so at 35.

[@gdtyra]

I don't know how you're even aware of YTP content, but I love that. My dad is roughly your age and I doubt he's ever watched a KZbin video that wasn't embedded in another site. At 31, I'm already feeling like my internal self doesn't match my age and I'm sure I'll be coming back to these videos at 63.

[@crylune]

Based person

[@LaskyLabs]

Steve Ballmer is one of the few people I can think of where any sort of closed captions for him are almost always in CAPS lock.

[@MarcosElMalo2]

Shit yes, I mean, SHIT YESSSSS!!!!!

[@highfiveanimations]

😂

[@htbf67]

Billy Mays literally speaks in Caps Lock... HI BILLY MAYS HERE!

[@TheRealDrKel]

@@htbf67 remember, he was most likely on cokaine,

[@praeamble]

@@htbf67 "Billy Mays has built in ear-rape because I'm always SHOUTING"

[@MrJans3n]

"That's right, that's left" had no right being as funny as it was

[@SpiralPegasus]

Had me laughing hysterically for a solid minute

[@QuantumOfInfinity]

It was amazing :D

[@Awoken_YKW_Fan9001]

It didn't even (Steven Universe) have the left to be that funny!

[@whee2390]

The sheer enthusiasm of the delivery is what got me

[@LucidMlem]

I think you mean it had no left being as funny as it was

[@cattrucker8257]

The way he screams is oddly magical. He was born to be a saint of YTPs alongside BILLY MAYS, happy to see him returned in style.

[@UnfittingCarbon]

The "paste Nebraska into Miami" joke is surprisingly appropriate, considering how many midwestern retirees move to Florida

[@Soufriere84]

Also I'm pretty sure the entire population of Nebraska could fit into Dade County (Miami) :P

[@hystonix]

​@@Soufriere84or in the Tampa Bay metro area, the population of the area is around almost 3 million people.

[@tncorgi92]

​@@hystonix part of the reason I left Tampa.

[@madden8021]

​@@Soufriere84Miami-Dade County

[@mirandahallisy97]

We just don't often hear about Nebraska, do we? Bummer. (Minnesota's more interesting anyway, tbh.)

[@Yeahimagamer]

I feel like this should have been called "STEVE BALLMER NEEDS TO CLEAN HIS DIRTY WINDOWS"

[@LuquifandewindowsVienna]

Yessss

[@makemesomecoffee7821]

The windows are broken

[@memelord8769]

Balls Stevemer tries to sell MicrodickSoft Bimbows

[@ticearpey3235]

Those old Balmer YTPs needed a remaster, and you delivered. This was perfect.

[@elliot_rat]

how do you remaster perfection edit: i just saw the archive of dirty windows. that is not what i meant by perfection 😭

[@ootfan7882]

Let's take ice, and put it into fire! *Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah*

[@ChaseMC215]

I wouldn't say it was a remaster. More of a Resident Evil 4 styled Remake

[@noisepuppet]

As a sysadmin, let me just say Windows Reversi E-Server is a real pain in the Ballmer

[@thenameisgsarci]

Eyy hello noisepuppet

[@SaulTeeNutz]

Seeing ballmer back again after all this time makes me happy.

[@SpiralPegasus]

As I sure would like him to go to hell someday

[@theduchyofmilanball3157]

Same

[@probium2832]

Again, I feel bad for people who have THXphobia...

[@NickDude555]

Makes me happy *noms on hotdog*

[@LuquifandewindowsVienna]

Mee Too Mr.SaulTeeNutz

[@cocoawaffles7580]

God I love the captions, whoever does them needs a raise or just a hug

[@cs188]

I'm doing them myself, so either one would be great! 😉

[@InceRumul]

That Wheel of Fortune bit is one of my favorite YTP gags of all time

[@yeehaw-city3086]

“That’s right! That’s left!” absolutely slayed me

[@C-Midori]

Okay, but I’ve never heard this commercial in such high quality. I love it! Also, “ORDER, ORDER, ORDER!” LMAOOOO

[@richardgadberry8398]

"Order this tortoise right now and ram it right in your butt!"

[@marcusarchives]

3:15

[@kittyyoutuber9]

"THIS TORTOISE RIGHT NOW"

[@kaoru288]

one thing i appreciate in YTP youtubers is that despite the surge of good Voice AI out there, they dare not to stray away from the path and just continue on doing the good ol tried and true sentence mixing

[@BinglesP]

Honestly sentence mixing is so much more fun than that for me, even if it's pretty difficult sometimes

[@sallomon2357]

It's mainly the fact that with sentence mixing, the tension and emotions are still there, while AI's voice is mostly very flat.

[@MustraOrdo]

@@sallomon2357 and soulless.

[@Kefkadet]

I feel like my favorite TV show got a reboot after 10 or so years. Thank you CS for catering to your first 1000 fans.

[@DrHotelMario]

Steve Balmer is FAR too exploitable to not be a widely pooped source.

[@Jaxymann]

I love that Steve Ballmer is the personification of "someone who took 36 gallons of LSD and just discovered that Ben and Jerrys make combo flavour ice cream"

[@supertoasting1011]

A GALLON of PCP?

[@twistedyogert]

​@@supertoasting1011 LSD. A gallon of PCP would probably kill someone.

[@ootfan7882]

@@supertoasting1011 *That's a LOT of hallucinations*

[@MammaSomari]

@@ootfan7882 Now that's a lot of DAMAGE.

[@teddy-beargamer6385]

Especially apt, since he’s been rumoured to have a bit of a coke habit.

[@AidanMacdonald-nl7fl]

His voice matches what he says so well, so when he says it it's funny because he actually looks looks and sounds like he's actually saying it. I love how most of his funny bits are when he has his voice raised, so it's hilarious.

[@SamsonSilvo]

Steve Ballmer being sentenced mixed into saying "Just believe me, don't watch!" is something I never thought I'd hear, and I thank you for it.

[@chrismadsonpatrick1953]

OMG - this was amazing! Steve’s spastic “you’ve gotta buy!” energy is a marvel to watch normally, but you’ve taken him to a whole new level. The “Head On” reference was perfect! I need a nap from laughing so hard. 🤣😂

[@chrismadsonpatrick1953]

Charmx would LOVE this. 😎

[@tomsmurf4225]

This is the true sequel to "all at your fingertits" i was hoping for

[@cckiller0053]

I heard that's really neat, can we look at it- *NO!*

[@KirbyMario12345_939]

Here's a little background! I got the whole family installed on the computer! It was a lot of work, but it was really worth it!

[@ErdrickHero]

I don't know what I'd do without the internet...

[@tomsmurf4225]

@ErdrickHero don't tell them about the gay stuff...

[@ErdrickHero]

@@tomsmurf4225 Hey Andrew, what's up?

[@Scyth3934]

4:06 love how he reacts

[@FlynMaker7]

"Oh no! Now glass is all over the f*ckin floor! ReEeEeErRr"

[@M4984LUV]

"right into windows right into windows right into windows one" thats a classic

[@akaxjenkins]

i was having deja vu with that one and then remembered he did another one many years ago xD

[@BlissBee]

@@akaxjenkins Ironically it was a bit from fingertits and not one of the ballmer ytps

[@TigerBonez]

That’s classic! And that’s right! That’s left!… What am I even doin? 😂

[@TheKlawwGang888]

Ytp is a dying art. So glad you're keeping the dream alive ❤

[@fujicakes_]

I Like that we’re all celebrating that Steve Ballmer made a comeback, but can we talk about the real one; Even Steven?

[@jacksim5759]

Even Steven Universe?

[@TTMS-Khaz-kun]

Does he drive *that* ferrari to Nebraskaska though? Or was it Nebraska in Miami?

[@fujicakes_]

yes

[@quantemwensday]

it's cancer!? AND IT'S TERMINAL!? ORDER TODAY

[@magnum7978]

RETURN OF THE BALLMER?!?! WE'RE TRULY RELIVING THE CS CLASSICS TONIGHT

[@CGGongtai]

The Wheel of Fortune part had me on the floor, haven't heard that sound since I was a kid. Superb JoJ as usual.

[@radicalfaith360]

Wow CS you really went for a throwback with this video and a lot of the original effects were still mixed in! Great work! My stomach was hurting from laughing so much 😂

[@mrenergy5364]

Why not reenact it like you used to? What happened?

[@HamOzer]

Wow, you still commenting to his videos!!!

[@Mr_Original]

Guys, he added subtitles too if you haven't seen them, it's a nice extra touch to this absolute gem.

[@Mooselover1011]

Hey man... I just wanted to say, I've been watching since I was a child (I'm 25 now) and I'm so glad you still post from time to time. You were a major influence on many times I've been down in my life. Thank you for all the laughs over the years.

[@redsus4839]

This is 100% one of the best YTPs I’ve ever seen! Thank you CS.

[@ShonieBoy]

1:12 Epic panning. 😂

[@blueswingdown]

me: windows ads are calming steve ballmer: ROoROoROoROoR

[@goddessluna2020]

Over a whole decade of YTPs since 2006, and your STILL goin, so proud of you cs188!

[@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072]

It’s not boring …..or hard

[@Kamal_AL-Hinai]

​@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 would love to see your attempts 👍🏼

[@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072]

@@Kamal_AL-Hinai I think I know some memeable material

[@100KGNatty]

​@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 it's not hard, unless you're producing up to CS' standards.

[@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072]

@@100KGNatty ?????

[@cioccolatamania3622]

He sounds like permanently having a psychotic breakdown

[@RetroMikado]

This is one of your absolute best and most inspired YTPs to date. The fact you were able to make six minutes of consistently funny jokes with this one dude is incredible 👏

[@ferdithetank7535]

I'll absolutely stand by for a full song YTP, Goddamn Style is one of my favourites by you.

[@Meela9088]

Same, but my cousin just stared in confusion

[@letsdeuxthis]

Man, it fills my heart with genuine joy to see the art of KZbin poops still being preserved with such mastery all these years into the future. It’s really a special skill and you still got it.

[@sophiegrey9576]

Would love to see that YTPMV fully realized one day.

[@artistwithouttalent]

Holy crap, _there's_ a throwback to a wildly different time in YTP. You love to see it. EDIT: holy shit we got the Ballmerang, we got the BSOD, we got it pasted right into Windows write into Windows right into Windows Write, and most importantly, *WE GOT 999999999999!*

[@ItsNotBradley]

For real, I was happy to see Nebraskaska, as thats how I still say it all these years later lmao

[@savagefox3241]

This guy has no throat by the end of the day. He’s screamed it all out.

[@daBigShroom]

I remember watching your videos when I was a teenager; I can't believe it's 2023 and you're still delivering ❤

[@ootfan7882]

I first watched his YTPs at 11 or 12 lmaooooo

[@CamelJam]

This is a magic work of art. Taking some of your oldest material and reinterpreting it. I love this so much

[@Anglified]

Ballmer being back again in this way really feels like a fever dream, and I want more, this is perfection.

[@CaptainAlphaWalrus]

some day I'm gonna be 85 in a nursing home screaming "PASTE IT RIGHT INTO WINDOWS RIGHT INTO WINDOWS RIGHT INTO WINDOWS RIGHT" scaring the crap out of my poor caretaker

[@DigiDuncan]

This is incredible! Laughing my ass off, man. Another classic, for sure. And yes, full YTPMV please!

[@twitchyeyess]

This has to be one of my favorite YTPs, good job cs188!

[@TheMightyGlizzy]

0:11 The pan down at the start to reveal his smirk already had me dead

[@darriana7249]

3:19 PETA is going to have a field day with this

[@TenPoundHammer]

The jokes about Wheel of Fortune, HeadOn, and passport.mid almost make it feel like I was a ghostwriter here. Seriously, excellent JoJ as always. I love how you were able to work in call-backs to not only previous Ballmer YTPs, but also other running gags and YTPs from the past. You're still one of the all time greats. I just hope they also love this video in Nebrarskaska.

[@seattlefloyd]

"And we can take this Microsoft Zune and paste it right into the garbage, with all these other incredible Microsoft products. What a disappointment." I absolutely lost it at this. I sneezed up my last sip of Starbucks coffee, which is rather unsettling, because the last time I drank Starbucks, Ballmer still worked for Microsoft, and that coat was fashionable.

[@Mike-77-YT]

2:58 steve: Windows screws you with a blue screen of death!

[@aronfaine9457]

I was really happy to see the RIGHT INTO WINDOWS/RIGHT INTO WINDOWS/RIGHT INTO WINDOWS/RIGHT joke make a comeback.

[@rcbinchicken]

This is your finest work yet. I snorted banana chips out my nose at every mention of Nebraska. Never knew Michael Rosen lived there, what a legend

[@tncorgi92]

People keep breaking his windows.

[@agentnintendonate1thee2tan89]

So THAT'S why he moved back to the UK.

[@Nov-5062]

3:02 the whole world right now

[@crudecube]

0:38 this joke is so nostalgic

[@cckiller0053]

And this one 1:12

[@Jolpe]

Sentence mixing literal yelling is probably one of my favorite things, thank you, CumSock188

[@DevilBoy-ww9ud]

Great to see you bring back Steve Ballmer, you should revisit some of your older sources like this one. Definitely gonna need that full YTPMV too.

[@ootfan7882]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaassssss

[@JonesDylan874]

0:46 WHEEL OF FORTUNE REFERENCE WHOO

[@sonicfx07]

That opening with Balmer's voice was so good!

[@meg6476]

The lipsynching on the head-on joke was superb.

[@heli0ns]

Thank you for keeping the YTP scene alive. Aint' nothing make me chuckle like this.

[@Vecchio_Rhosod85]

4:47 "We can take ice and paste it right into fire." Professor Membrane: "NOT SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE!"

[@Diegotheartist1]

This is definitely one of the most enjoyable YTPs involving Steve Ballmer! now a properly de-interlaced Windows Promo that was always low quality on the web can now be YTP'd the high quality way!

[@NeedForSpeed.2004]

3:35 That’s called Loud Nigra, it’s from a guy screaming as he finishes inside someone.

[@Friendly-Neighborhood-Asexual]

He knows that, he's subtitled it in other videos, I think he wants to see if we know it

[@Mr_Wallet]

Absolutely classic. I was mesmerized by the old-school style from start to finish, so much that I didn't even check the description and see it was a remake... no wonder it felt like a classic! This is the first YTP to make it to my favorites in over a year. I wasn't even a third done with it when I started thinking, "man I wish radicalfaith360 were still around to enact this one".

[@T1MB05L1C3]

4:14 AH THE MEMORIES

[@M0rshu64]

I appreciate you going back and remastering your old classic YTPs. Won't be long before you go back and remaster The Bad Prince of Breaking Fresh Wind!

[@wolfgangfrick4567]

YES The Bad Prince of Breaking Fresh Wind is criminally underrated

[@johnthomas2970]

I’m also keen for the Obama takes a dump in the golf of Mexico

Oh my god, this is too much Ballmer to handle in 6 minutes. My brain hurts.

[@liamzombie1424]

I can confirm that I cannot believe it even though he yelled "CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!" like 18 times

[@JontyMaster]

1:07 How many licks does it take to get to the center of a BallmerPop? The world...may never knowwon

[@SlashterYTPs]

YTPs are still alive, even if it's 2023.

[@ootfan7882]

Barely. It's saddening to see one of your favorite art forms slowly dying like this.

[@SlashterYTPs]

@@ootfan7882 Some still get views, KZbin is trying to kill it off slowly.

[@IamSaralinka]

2:18 as a Nebraska resident, I approve this message.

[@creepergd4884]

As another Nebraskan resident I further endorse this message

[@Rockstarenergyf1team]

I thought ohio was the worst state not nebraska!!!

[@The90210Officer]

Nebraska: Honestly, it's not for everyone

[@Terleqs]

I also endorse this messages as a nebraskan resident

[@VoltigeurGT]

Some might say all the yelling is infuriating but I think it embodies the classic YTP energy, and along with all the jokes and masterful sentence mixing this is amazing!

[@jacobwilson7109]

CS, you ingenious bastard, every time I watch your videos I end up laughing harder than I ever thought I could. Whenever things get really bad, these ytps pick me back up. Thank you my guy.

[@Rosa-lv8yw]

This feels a bit like a throwback to the good ol' *take a shit* days of getting connected to the internet.

[@wilberforce95]

the "right into windows- right into windows- right into windows" joke has definitely stuck in my head over the years.

[@randomisonline]

I got way too excited when I saw my name on the Patrons list at the end. This is the first time I've been a member of a Patreon that does that, it's exciting!

[@davidstinger1134]

After CLEAR WINDOWS and DIRTY WINDOWS hearing Steve Ballmer talk in such a high quality audio is almost unnerving.

[@Gravarty]

3:51 Ah, so this is Michael Rosen's window where he watches his neighbors do certain things.

[@soundacresstudio]

Yes please the whole song! This poop cured my depression today.

[@denyrachmatramdhanynew2894]

We are never get bored with The New YTP video. Always funny.

[@felixman9691]

FULL SONG YTPMV YES. Thank you for this.

[@sidex15]

3:24 Microsoft in Parallel universe...

[@LucasIsHereYT]

As one of your 6 Nebraska viewers, I am now in Kansas after watching your video.

[@brandongamingtv7545]

4:31 peter quill: **angery noises**

[@missstarcat107]

Nothing in the world grounds me better than your ytps! It makes me revert back to being a child again, staying up late and laughing at these while laying on an old couch with my dusty ass Dell laptop in my childhood home. It just warms my heart ❤

[@justincampitelli3802]

2:31 FAAAAFFF, FAYYYAFFF... HEH " died of laughter

[@pyromainiac5758]

D I C 🌭

[@AtomicGolem]

FAAAF FAAYAAF *h*

[@TheMemeLich5122]

If anything in this world could make me die of laughter it's this video.

[@renewedoptimism209]

The wheel of fortune spin was a great touch 😂

[@mikemancini313]

2:05: No one Steve Ballmer: I LOVE

[@VancePantss]

That ending got me with "I'll watch you bleed"

[@kraktjoetv]

i almost spat laughing at the fucking wheel of fortune bit

[@snakehead214]

The art of shifting sounds to the sides will never not make me laugh. So glad the boomerang is back lol

[@StationaryGamingReal]

The ninety tire gag is amazing.

[@Amialythis]

This really shows how much you've progressed as an artist

[@TheIndigoShine]

Applause for the MIDIs.

[@mugoloo]

This is the remaster I never knew I needed, but cannot live without now. How good you've gotten at this really shows, best YTP I've seen in a hot minute.

[@NaviciaAbbot]

"Wait! Don't listen to me! Get out of Nebraska!" Thanks for the warning, cs.