I really don't know what to do anymore. I have no friends, the only person I can talk to about my problems is my mother, but today my father saw it and came all angry with me. I feel so alone, consumed by depression. I'm always tired no matter what I do. I've been taking anti-depressants for over a month, but it's not helping anything. I just want to die. Nobody understands me, I don't even understand myself. I hate everything, I hate myself. I'm afraid of a lot of things.

I'm sorry for existing, for being born, for having depression, for having ADHD, don't worry I hate myself too. I have just started taking medication but it feels like I'm still getting worse... I've been having more suicidal thoughts but... No one could care.... All I ever do is get made fun of... And left out.... How are the scars still on my arms? Why did my mom think it was a good idea to find a man off a dating app that became my "dad" The worst part is that I'm adopted.... So I've been left out from the start

I wasnt expecting to hear snowfall tonight, thank you<3

my mother is a drug addict she had been one since i was 4 which even before she used drugs she would beat me for the little things. For no reason it seemed back then till my dad came back from his job which he was a truck driver at the time where he would be gone for days at a time he would finally get me away from her but she lied saying by dad hit her and she hit herself making bruises the cops believed her so i didnt see him for another year dark times but everything is fine and im 15 now with my dad sounds somewhat unreal it truly is believe me or not i dont really care i just wanted to get this off my chest since not many people know and i dont want to feel like im alone.

nobody notices.

Sisyphus

12:10 👌

It's not your fault Your not a problem You are perfect You aren't fat You aren't skinny You aren't the problem You aren't a bad person You are wonderful You aren't a crybaby Your don't deserve them You love yourself You are clean You are kind Your are the person that everyone wants Your skin isn't a paper... don't cut it Your face isn't a mask... don't hide it Your heart isn't a door... don't lock it Your size isn't a book... don't judge it Your life isn't a movie... don't end it Your neck isn't a rope... don't hang it Your body isn't for sale... don't sell it Your brain isn't a stone... don't crush it Your life is an inspiration...be proud of it Love yourself.. you are perfect no matter what you do. The past of you suffering will end Your suffering will end Don't c^t your body your hair Don't kill your self yet. If you have a pet it will make your problem go away They get mad at you for being soo perfect They blame you because you are so pretty/handsome/stunning You are brighting the world.. you are a true star Keep going.. it will past. We love you don't stop being kind to everyone The kindness will speard and the kidness will also pay you back. They love you they just don't wanna show the loveness for you You are so perfect that everyone gets mad and jealous Give everyone a second chance not too many tho your eyes is perfect your nose is perfect your height is perfect your skin is perfect your mouth is perfect your hair is perfect your face is perfect your body is perfect your hands is perfect your fingers is perfect your teeth is perfect your waist is perfect Your torso is perfect your legs are perfect your thighs are perfect your tounge and everything is perfect YOU are perfect love your body and everything You are so greatful for what you have. Ignore the bad people you dont want them to get attached to you And leave your fake friends You deserve better. Don't give up Cheer up aswell Pretty/handsome/stunning person. We are proud to see you alive. We are so proud We love your smile We love your laugh We love your personality So don't give up We love you. We love you so much Don't end it too fast. Don't commit Don't get controled Don't make them control you like a puppet Do your own way Do everthing you like Ignore the rude people Ignore the hate Ignore getting yelled There's people by your side and always be. We love you no matter what you do to yourself. They don't know what your been through They ain't been in your shoes Don't belive them they are liars Love youself. We are proud of you existing here We love you so much.. NEVER GIVE UP You're precious You made it this far. And it's so amazing that you are still here <3 Don't let them Hate you Fight back It's alright Alot of people or your animals that are alive or dead Doesn't want you to die So don't give up alright Hang on there You will be better soon Don't look at the ones that left you backstabbed you broke up with you moved on without you You deserve better and you better know that... Look at the brightside not the darkside. You need to love yourself more... like i do or we. Never give up You are lucky you are still alive You are the most luckiest person. i love you on the days you feel motivated i love you on the days you feel depressed i love you on the days you feel stresses i love you on the days you feel crazy i love you on the days you feel hopeful i love you on the days you feel cuddly i love you on the days you feel clingy i love you on the days you feel amazing i love you on the days you feel beautiful i love you on the days you feel like a failure i love you on the days you feel angry i love you on the days you feel aggressive i love you on the days you feel horrible i love you on the days you feel safe i love you on the days you feel unsafe i love you on the days you feel vulnerable i love you on the days you feel weird i love you on the days you feel ok i love you when you're healthy i love how you sing (or hum or feel the music) i love your taste in music i love your taste in movies i love your taste in tv shows i love the way you move i love the way you act i love you when you cry i love you when you're kind i love you when you're mean i love you when you're alone i love you when you can't feel i love you when you feel too much i love you when you can't take life anymore i love you when you feel like it's too much i love you when you're asleep i love you when you have nightmares i love you when you have dreams i love how you believe i love you when you believe in yourself i love you when you don't believe in yourself i love you when you hate yourself I/we love you. and never forget that life is a test so if u feel like life is hard its just because ur more advanced than the others -Not mine but pass it around <3

To all beings *here* my words to you are: See blood on the floor, it is not your own, so you must continue. Holding on to your judgement and sanity, that is what I think is the truest things that can be. Suffering is life, yet it is not the essence of it. Hold on tight, lose sight of your peace and let chaos douse life in gasoline, but never let it pull you down to despair. Yet that is not all, sometimes all you need is a good book, a nice cup of coffee, a seamless playlist, a cold breeze, a creaking chair, a soft pillow, a warm blanket, a box of tissues and your favourite comfort. Let go my friend, we’re all miserable wretches down here, having a break. Cry all you want, we won’t judge since we’re all ugly criers either way. Or atleast I am. In this vast universe, in which we are but specks, I wish you comfort in your coming journeys.

OMORIREFERENSIA 🗣 🗣 😢

why is sisyphus here

Hey

Life is so stressful man, sometimes I question if it was better if I just- *Wait is that in the video Aubergine from the hit 2020 rpg Omori? Truly unbelievable, you could say even preposterous to some extent, I feel astonished.*

I feel like ive failed life. Ive done so many things wrong it burdens me. All I am is just a depressed failiure. Also ive been single my whole life and never got to talk/vent to somebody. Ive gone so long without love (except from my family) I dont know what it feels like. All I want is a shoulder to cry on...

Es confuso verdad pero sin embargo sabes perfectamente cuando estás mal todo en tu cuerpo física y mentalmente te lo hace saber te notas flojo con pensamientos fatalistas esa sensación de que está todo perdido de que ya nada volverá a ser como antes y torturas recordando una evidencia pasada aleatoria que en aquel entonces ni siquiera parecía un buen momento pero comparado a como te sientes ahora podría incluso decirse que fuiste feliz? sin saberlo

Nobody actually wants to be alive because they like it they are only here because other people want them to be alive nobody’s alive because they like it we just all distract ourselves and pretend we are here because we want to be I am only living for my favorite person and I hate it but love them and I can’t do it to them so I am trapped and will always be we all are I hate it here but every one dose so suck it up

Came for sad picture of Aubrey stayed for the music.

hella damn exhausted, I'm contemplating taking college and my dang classmates were nah and only relies on me as the class rep and they don't take any damn initiatives, It feels like I'm babysitting grown up kids not even college students anymore.

I love you lance but. I don't know if I can do it anymore

I’m sorry but is that AUBREY FROM OMORI?!

Nothing really matters anymore

Thing that hits the most isnt just the music... ...Its the fact that...that girl with black hair and pink ribbon looks like my younger self.

You have like- most of my fav songs on this playlist ;-;

you know you are COOKED when these type of videos show up on your youtube feed 😞

when you want to do it but your too much of a scarey cat to do so, so know you feel bad for not doing it because you think people are going to think you were only looking for attention:

is that audrey from omori? :( oh nor...

Fun fact i saw typlosion in thumbnail before this video

I sometimes hate how I'm uncomfortable talking about my feelings because it just causes them to bottle up over time

I remember 10 years ago, in the late spring of 2014, I thought I impregnated the love of my life. I was 21 at the time, she was 19. She texted me a picture of a positive test, called me, and was crying her eyes out. I spent 40 minutes on the phone comforting her and assuring her. "I am here for you ever step of the way." "I will do my best to be a father." I will always be here for you. You're my wife now. I love you." "Amy, please, make me the happiest man in the world. We can do this together. Marry me, and I will do everything in my power to make sure you and our baby are cared for. Please, give me the ultimate gift of fatherhood. I love you." I told her the game plan: "Let's take a week to relax and gather our thoughts, okay? Next Saturday night, I'm going to invite everyone in our 2 families out to dinner, and we're going to break the news in public. We're in this together, baby. I am here for you, always. Let's do this, as partners. As lovers. As a team. As husband and wife." She agreed. During that 'thinking' week, something gave everyone between our two families and greater friend group lice. (Turns out it was her friend's dog) For whatever reason, this pisses her mom off, and she decides to start picking a fight with my family. My fiancé's mother forcibly cuts off our relationship. I try to remain in silent contact with Amy, under her mom's nose. This lasts for about a week. I tell my parents the news. They try to contact her family, with no success. Then, she, and her entire family, disappears off the face of the earth for 7 weeks. Their cars are gone, they're not at their house, they're not answering their phones or computers. I never knew what happened. They come back to their home, but have completely blocked me, and cut me off. They won't speak. They moved houses. Amy comes to my home, TWO YEARS later, in person, to tell me, during those 7 weeks, she disappeared out of state, to live with her grandmother and get an abortion. THEN 8 years later, still crushed by the loss, I get a wild hair to attempt to reach out again. (August 2024), and ask for the real truth. She tells me to fuck off, but makes it clear that the pregnancy test was faked all along. As of today, she is single, and has no children. ----- SO: 1 - I thought I impregnated my 19 year old girlfriend at 21. 2 - For two years, I think there's a child out there I never met that's floating around in the adoption system, or worse, being raised by whatever man she left me for. 3 - For 8 years, I think that child was aborted 4 - Just a month ago (August 2024), I found out the initial pregnancy test was faked all along. I will never forgive you, for what you did to me, Amy. I cannot. The woman I thought I loved died 10 years ago. A monstrous demon possessed her body, it seems, because I can think of no other reason why you would have put me through what you did. I loved you. I was willing to give everything to be a dad. Why did you put me through 10 years of anguish, uncertain, and pain? I never attempted to end things, I was too strong for that. But I certainly suffered 10 years of self hatred, fear, PTSD, nightmares, and the like. It didn't help that all my "Friends" ended up 'siding' with you, and you left me without support as my dad went in a fire, and my grandfather after that. I never was bad to any of you, to Darrick, to Mike, to you, to Haley, to Joe, to Elton, to Albert. I never understood what I did to drive you away, but you specifically, Amy, I can never forgive you for what you did. I do still love you - as there will always be a little part of the old soul you shattered still in me - but I can NEVER forgive you.

Why am i even trying everyday I feel so anxious I feel like I'm going to through up and every night i feel despair and loneliness and yet I try new things foolishly thinking it'll get me out of this hole I'm in but I don't think I can get out I am just stuck like this it's been 3 years and it gets worse and worse

I am defeated these last few years have not been kind to me now I carry on empty, hollow with no clear end in sight

The ribbon looks good on her

I know... I don't have any reason to off myself, life is just... boring... it don't fits me... i.. can't live like this, this don't belongs to me, i have never been so happy in life, and that scares me... I can't be that happy, i feel like something is going to happen, i need to be sad about something, being happy makes me uncomfortable, i can't. I know, my life is not bad anymore, i don't know why i feel like this, maybe is because i'm becoming a teenager?... since i was a kid, life was shit. Now that i'm 12, i feel like... Dunno.. i can't live without problems, being peaceful makes me scared. i don't know till when i'm gonna live...

I don't know if anyone else who needs to hear this, but, *Its okay to give up.* I wish someone could tell me that Its okay to give up. I'm tired of fighting every single day of my life. So to anyone out there. *Its okay to give up.*

im actually tired not depressed

she cute

6:40 1 must imagine... Sisyphus happy

I hate the person my friends and family have seen me become.

Aubrey <3

Love eternity 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖

Its not like I actually wanna die, its just like I dont wanna live like that

My conversation with myself, please keep scrolling if you don't want to understand, be more depressed, or anything like that, have a good day :) "I tried I did fucking tried, I tried to hang myself and I can't fucking didn't, I-... it didn't fucking work" "Oh so what, you depressed fuck, you want to die because just one two people say you are as useless as shit, you make darker jokes you know" "I started with a great life, loving mom, cheerful father" "So what, so you can just blew it all up? I mean there's more people that are hurted more than you, you just fucking ruined you, YOU" "The world out there is beautiful I know it, I want everyone to smile" "Oh so is it then, fucking smile, fucking laugh, look at you, the most happiest man ever, crying and laughing, you're a insane little fella?" "The world out there is cruel, but why do you judge it? It's already cruel, and that's what makes it fun, a story for you to get through it" "Well guess fucking what, that's a story, a fantasy, you wrote one story with suffering, you make those characters life worse for a good story and here you are, complaining about your good life, pure soul, pure brain, but yet it's sooooooo corrupted, joyful laugh, joyful smile, joyful dance yet you are covered in spikes" "I got so closed to doing, I already agreed I better off on the ground, why do I hold back? See who cares" "Yes, see who cares... you, yourself, you were never alone... That's why you kept hearing yourself... You don't want to be alone but you push everyone away because you will hurt... You created a fabric amount of yourself to deflect the logic that you have actual friends... You want to be symphatize... But you want to help with a pure heart... Who are you?" "I'm alone, alone, so alone, I'll just hurt. but it's fun... It's fun... But... Why am I laughing? What's the fun in this? What's fun from a insane maniac just dancing in his own mind?"

I was literally crying then 6:38 started playing and I went 😑

Hey, everyone ! I'm hopping from playlist to playlist willing to lend an ear to anyone wanting to vent their feelings. I've been through a horrible depression and it hurt like shit, but you gotta remember IT DOES GET BETTER !! you just gotta search for the right people !! No matter what happens, don't let anyone or anything get you down. I care about everyone here, and I hope you all get through this 💪💪 YOU /DO/ MATTER !!!! If you fall down IT IS OKAY to rest, JUST DONT QUIT.

I often come back to this playlist. It’s comforting!

This... Idk how to put it... Its just. Yeah i can ralate

Could have helped me 1 year ago. Too late.

my eyes are so sore. i want to gauge them out because they keep leaking water, i'm afraid i'll drown myself. he asked me if i am crying. am i? are these tears? i said 'yes'. he asked me 'what's wrong'?. i said 'everything'. then added 'kidding, i'm just burning fats'. lies. lying to save myself from being a beggar of sympathy. i don't want to be treated with pity. maybe, just maybe i am only fermenting my body with strong and bitter emotions. maybe after these swollen eyes, tomorrow i'd get a bright one. to gun, i'm so sorry for lying. i don't wanna burden you. as long as i wanted someone to talk to, i still don't wanna be treated like a patient in a therapy session.

Why are people being so negative in the chat? 😭😭

"For though I go in the midst of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil; for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they have comforted me." -Psalm 23:4