@@KrystalAri right! So many ppl don’t realize that it’s possible on one income BECAUSE of proper money management.

No it doesn't. Dads don't contribute what mothers do. Not saying all moms are the best but mothering is a verb and fathers cannot mother---so you'd simply never know how it feels to be a mom who spends the entirety of her life mothering. Sun and moon difference.

Hey Naomi. Total expenses for me was around $2200. This includes general admission, car camping pass, kid pass and toddler pass. Also: gas, food, goods bought from vendors/cafe (250) and camping equipment like tent, air mattress, etc.

💯💯

Right lmao. Gotta love comebacks to the good old ‘but you’re home all day’

Hahahah

Do u think any of that has to do with how modern families budget their money?

I also know families that live on very little in order for the mom to be the one to raise the kids. I feel like the lack of money mindset can be valid but is often an excuse to pressure the mother to do more

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 income has everything to do with budgeting? I don’t want to have to have a tight budget and not be able to afford fun vacations for my kids. If your husband makes enough for the both of you, you’re very blessed bc not everyone is that fortunate in this economy.

Vacations are not a need. Don’t assume my husband makes 2x an individual. We do not go on many vacations and for me, it’s worth being available for my kids fulltime. Everyone has free will and choice so maybe others have decided differently but it’s misleading to purport a single income isn’t enough but then clarify that the second income goes towards vacations

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 ok 🤦🏻‍♀️ and I said “if” …never said he did. And it’s not just vacations, it’s sports teams, medical bills, etc. I want my kids to have everything i didn’t.. if you’re ok with how you’re living that’s all that matters.. but having one income in this economy isn’t really sustainable.. especially if emergencies happen. If it is for you, then good for u. You are blessed

Wow, good for you to have the perception and awareness to recognize the positive dynamic :) I've rarely heard moms who think working outside the home is harder than momming fulltime

No they dont. Lol there are literally moms that do both. Think before you type. Dumbarse

Dad works 9-5 and the kids are at school 9-3. Running a hoover round and putting on some laundry must be SO SO hard.

​@@Nysvarthit depends on the lifestyle but your right, the bare minimum of stay at home mom is not that hard, that's why tv sop operas use to be on in the day, women had time. To all the women remember we have single and stay at home dad's now. The secret is out dishwashers, slow cookers, washing machines, rhumba, etc. it only becomes harder when you put your kids in 5 sports/activities, volunteer all over the place, etc. and the 1.3 million over the life of the child is a big stretch.

@@Nysvarth What says ye about raising kids 5 and under? What about homeschool moms?

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 Literally all animals can raise a child, it's hardcoded into their DNA. Watching children's TV and wiping a few asses isn't in the same league as working a full day.

yeah part-time work, if the mom wants to and when it doesn't interfere w/ her mothering, should be accessible! (Also, not all moms send their kids to school)

Wow you really saved so much time and space by not typing out to and for. I am so impressed -_-

That's not true across the board. I get it, things are important...but priorities should remain priorities even when pressure mounts. This is for all women who voluntarily work, not impoverished people struggling to survive. Even w/ inflation, we still have a significant amount of people not living the poverty line AND it's all about looking at your budget and deciding IF everything there is worth not being able to be the main caregiver.

Oh come on u gotta know someone’s got that taste!

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 Actually Im old and dont! I love the Goth/Emo look without the hardware but I must have a something against self mutilation in my genetic core.

@@keithgibbons5765 the piercings? I’m interested. Do u like earrings on women or no

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 Ok with era rings if limited to 1 to 3 pair

@@keithgibbons5765 what's the diff tho--between earrings and facial piercings, to you?

I mean, I agree partially. Having a contract is a great idea and he should sign up to provide for you within marriage contract. Not all men suck but I get where you're coming from and it's important to protect yourself BUT making expectations high for him is a good thing and requires him to rise to the occasion. I also think modern dating doesn't work, we need to bring back something like matchmaking and for the community to hold people accountable to decent behavior.

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 Yeah, unless people go through therapy and learn how to make relationships work, it's gonna be hard. I don't think matchmaker would help here. People are used to constant gratification and a lot of opportunities nowadays.. One relationship frustrates me, I'm not gonna try and solve the issue, I'm not gonna compromise, the willing is not there, I'll just find someone else so I get the first 3 months high again. And there are a lot of toxic people, and also men have problems with empathy and maturity (hence abuse statistics, including household inequity). Women have enough being objectified and used for free labor (4B). I'm 33 and it terrifies me how people younger than me date. It's not even dating. It's just the hookup culture. They cannot form a long lasting relationship. And it would be okay, if they didn't have kids and it wouldn't make them unhappy, I guess. But it does make us unhappy as a society. It's hard to overcome the biological/social programming we have... we often can't even build communities.

Idk maybe you should find a husband who loves you and won’t cheat on you. Just sayin 🤭

@@emilynelson3066 facts. Who u make kids with is the biggest determinant of ur quality of life.

‘You can do it all at once’ What do u base this opinion on?

wanting to and being able to are very different. Doing both at drastically disproportionate rates is possible, though and I support that.

@motherhoodempowerment7012 it is not up to us to say whether she will be able to or not. It is upto her to try and find out for herself before deciding to quit. Unfortunately, Joan listened to a friend and gave up her dream and the so-called friend later on divorced and went on to have a career. It is very likely that Joan will one day regret that she prematurely quit.

@@jdechsan well, this short was just highlighting the idea which is being discussed between them and ofc a fictionalized movie doesn't necessarily represent what happens in real life. It's possible that she'll reminisce about what life might have been like later, since motherhood is challenging but I believe that the bigger sacrifice would be a mother outsourcing the raising of her own children since there is a natural and biological pull for mothers to be with and near their children. There should be more creative and flexible opportunities/support for mothers to pursue intellectual endeavors WHILE being mothers.

@motherhoodempowerment7012 we cannot take the context out and use just a snippet to make a whole case about it. The conversation includes Julia Roberts points as well and in this context she is correct. That is the reason why she didn't send an application for Betty but she did for Joan. Betty's dream was to get married and be a housewife. Nothing wrong with that but that's not what Joan wanted and she was pressured into accepting societal norms. Not a case for empowerment at all. Calling it a greater sacrifice implies working mothers are not as good as SAHMoms. Many SAHMoms actually let their babies cry it out at night while many working moms wake up at night and attend to their babies. A good mother/parents is only defined as such when she/they raised a socially and emotionally responsible adult.

@@jdechsan yes, if we're talking about the movie + plot, it's relevant. But the concept is separate from the plot and can be snipped out of any situation and still be made a point out of. To your other comment, the mothers I'm talking about (SAHMs) are ones that try to be attentive, patient, caring mothers, that's a given. I'm not going to put disclaimers at the front of every piece of content that identify which ppl I'm talking about. The hashtags I use and what my channel stands for speaks for itself.

I hesitate to respond cuz I don't understand a lot of this comment. Which country? Who says ppl do it well if they don't have a choice? Define privilege and quantify that for the arguments sake or it doesn't make sense. Making yt videos is hella easy and simple. What do those 'good mothers that manage everything' spend their time doing or do they not get any time to themselves? is that what we should aspire to? Being workhorses?

what an interesting comment. R u saying that cleaning is part of mothering? Screw your standards. If you don't like mine, you can say the same! Having a strong opinion doesn't = judgment.

Exactly

Lol no. Women can do both. Let's not judge other people that choose differently from you.

@@eleonora6980 It's your opinion that this is a 'judgment'. If this doesn't apply to you/isn't relevant to you then why even engage in the convo? How can women mother WHILE being at work? No one can be in 2 places at once...Also, I'm never saying that women can't do anything other than mothering but the traditional work schedule/environment was literally made for males and isn't compatible w/ mothering. Moms need creative, flexible work opportunities, if they have time to/want to work outside of working in the family.

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 I’d say that traditional nine to five schedules were not “made” for anybody. Actually the Industrial Revolution didn’t fulfill its promise to free us from tedious labor, and the tech revolution doesn’t seem poised to do so either. What we have a problem with is patriarchy, capitalism, and the cultural assumptions that because women bear children they are better caregivers. As another poster suggested, this isn’t true due to biology other than breastfeeding. I mean…are you familiar with lorises? They’re wonderful examples of the diversity of primate “wiring” for reproductive strategies. Of course the difference is that they’ve no or little size dimorphism, so males cannot control their partners through violence as do most great ape species (including humans). Also, females are skilled hunter-gatherers and bring home plenty to feed the extended family. Certainly we evolved to spend more time with our offspring due to on demand breast feeding, and stayed together in extended family and tribal communities. But new evidence is showing more indication of women hunting as well as gathering, and males caregiving and doing domestic work. There is some preference for the mama from most infants, but if she needs or wants to work it won’t harm her child as long as she returns reliably. We are very flexible as long as primary bonds aren’t severed suddenly or traumatically, though we do bond deeply and multi generationally. What I mean is that if dad, or nana, or someone who bonded with the infant very early is caregiving, the baby feels secure, safe, connected. It’s my (educated) opinion that the nuclear family is one of the most toxic social-emotional structures we’ve fallen into. They’re the product of industry removing labor from the homestead. Families must relocate to find work, and social expectations have changed to insist that a home should be comprised of only mother-father and offspring. Highly unnatural. You probably know the happiest societies are matrilineal hunter-gatherer societies. But childcare is widely shared among these, and nobody “goes to work”. Often even the children will accompany a hunt or gathering, learning the skills they need.

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 I do agree with you that the modern work schedule is not good for us. Men included

Amen, said perfectly

Absolutely disgusting take. There are many good mothers who do all or some of what you said.

So do you support children when 1 parents steps out and leaves the other parent with the sole responsibility? So they have to work and support their children. No child support, nothing.

@Slemos1985 what does that have to do with anything? I don't approve of any parent walking out to begin with.

It's shitty when this happens and the dad should not only be required to provide for his dependents but also jailed if he tries not to.

Yes but what you’re basing your decision on is key

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 absolutely! To each their own and best to all of us in our decisions. Could you imagine what it would be like if all we did was sit and judge another persons choices?

Yes, certainly…however, we all share this world and create this culture/society we live in. It’s determined by the choices we make. It’s important to be intentional and conscious about decisions we make that affect and shape the world we live in, the legacy we leave and our collective health.

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 100% agree! My wants and desires may have some influence in your world but who am I to tell you what is right or wrong for you and your family?

@@susanwright7682 that’s why we don’t go based purely off of human opinion. I follow wisdom much wiser than myself and many people do via their Holy Books and evolutionary biology

Men don’t make good mothers. Women are uniquely capable of nurturing and raising children well. The only reasons for women being less quality parents is their own trauma/conditioning that must be resolved to set everything right again. Women are encouraged to do this bc it’s written into their dna and it isn’t for men.

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 wait what? I thought we were for freedoms of choice? Now it’s dna? I’m disappointed in your message

​@motherhoodempowerment7012 there have been studies and men and women are equally capable of being nurturing.

@@susanwright7682 that’s ok, not everyone is willing to surrender to biological design and the wisdom therein

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 with love, if you’re a stay at home mom and that makes your heart sing, and you can afford it without taking away from the fathers ability to know his children, that is wonderful! My biological design screams for more, and that’s wonderful too. We are limitless in our biological design

Right! You’ve gotta choose where your energy, attention and time will go!

can't replace that connection with anything! But I know firsthand that cosleeping can be rather intense at times. I love that you reflect back on it as precious <3

Correct. In an ideal society with correct priorities, they would be!

And I don’t just believe it--I’m living it.

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 nice. I was a SAHM too, though I finished a B.A. degree attending part time after his first year. My kiddo was able to attend the University’s daycare and preschool while I was in class. He graduated from preschool the year I graduated with my degree☺️. We celebrated together and I delayed graduate school very intentionally until he was older. He’s a very securely attached child and everybody tells what a great kid he is. I wasn’t a perfect mom, but was very present. He spent some time in care settings, but predominantly was with either one or both of us. I’m certain it made a difference. If I sound challenging it’s because lots of conservatives are pushing for women to stay put of the work force to be home for the family. Then they deny the economic value of women’s unpaid domestic labor. Fk that, lol! Men are free to stay home, too…see how long until you beg to go back to work😂.

congrats on those achievements! I think creative care options are crucial for us modern mothers...particularly because a lot of grandparents/siblings/cousins/older fam members are just not involved at all...it's heartwrenching. I don't think it's healthy when women feel coerced or are doing it out of sheer obligation, either. There are a lot of issues at play that set us up to be resistant to present mothering, and I've had my own fair share that so I'm always trying to decondition from that brainwashing. There should absolutely be some sort of payment made to mothers who raise their own kids and homemake! It's def contributing to society but they deny it cuz it's hard to prove materially.

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 you’re right! But imo it’s pretty easy if one gets beyond “capitalist realism” to prove materially how economically valuable and in fact NECESSARY our work is to the economy. There is enormous resistance to it as the capitalist class profits doubly from the material conditions created by our dependence within their system.

I’m doing a DITL on my IG stories today. Many more coming soon to YT

Is making a sandwich hard? Being a stay at home mom isn’t the same as a homemaker so not sure about the dishes reference. Are men really this confused about what goes into quality parenting??

And mothering is a lot longer than 10 hours per day so nice try

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 Longer doesn't equate to harder Really most women have never done a hard professional job for once in their lives to think doing something inside your safe protected 4 walls is the hardest job in the world ? Nice try

@@MentzerMikeJohn men and women are diff creatures. You comparing men's work to women's work is moot. Raising kids is difficult, esp if you're trying to do it well, ESP in today's society of isolation and intolerance of natural childhood development and the conditioning women undergo during schooling that must be addressed once becoming a mother. Did your mom stay home or work? Your lack of empathy and understanding leads me to believe that you just haven't witnessed an intentional mother in action. Plus, why don't you try staying home w/ small children and we'll do a psych eval afterwards...men don't last long in these positions unless everyone is heavily medicated and detached from human biological needs.

@@motherhoodempowerment7012 I am the one comparing? Ma'am, you're the one who said it's the hardest job.. Staying home can be "boring" but doesn't make it hardest, and sorry Men won't have a problem staying home, I wonder from where you drew the conclusion that men can't do that You lack empathy too which leads me to believe you've not seen men almost dying to keep the society running

Yasss!! I’ll be there with both my babies :)

if you're a fulltime wage slave, then is she a fulltime house slave? Men should certainly get to be dads but that's on yall to arrange it accordingly. Mothering is work and housekeeping is work. One takes away from the other unless it's delicately balanced which is hard w/ kids' needs. Don't expect more out of her than of yourself.

@motherhoodempowerment7012 if you don’t have access to money then yes you are a house slave. It’s definitely possible for a SAHM to feel this way and for good cause. But if I come home to fast food garbage on the kitchen table and the house a mess nearly everyday then I’m a wage slave.

@@Klake-bk2dp I get it and don't disagree--mostly. It's just that taking care of children is so much more laborious than people understand--most people do NOT take on this role due to it being incredibly involved and at times, totally unappreciated...it becomes hard to sustain, even when women wanna do it. So the expectations for shared household labor must be unique to each family's agreed upon arrangement and compassion when days don't go as planned.

@motherhoodempowerment7012 I’m sorry. I do not think it is hard. I’m a single dad and if I didn’t work I would have no issues taking care of my kids around the clock. Would everyday be perfect? Nope. 🙂‍↔️ Just like not everyday is perfect. P.S I wanted to be the stay at home parent…

@@Klake-bk2dp That's fine you don't have to agree, as a male, I would never expect you to know what it's like to be a mother and mother (verb). This isn't to say that dads don't give great benefits to the same, it's just we do not experience parenthood the same. I can see how, in your situation, you would feel that way. I'm sorry things didn't pan out the way you'd intended and hope that you get to see your kids often.

Motherhood in 2024 is such an ebb and flow thing. What works last year might be horrible this year! It's all about hearing your intuition and heeding it. Trying something and adjusting accordingly. Most importantly, keeping your intuition audible--which requires caring for yourself! If mom feels uncared for, it's impossible to care for others. Modern mothering (the way our society sets us up for failure) is such an enraging mindfck

Hey :) yes it was center for redemptive education in Annandale va. We decided to go with another option but would’ve considered this one had it not been so urban

ooo thank you- we are in illinois/chicago area

Right off the bat, sounds like you’ve seldom experienced maternal love or care

ps mothering is work

💜

It’s a daily choice. You’re a hero.

You are incorrect, cosleeping w/ attentive, sober mothers does NOT make it more likely for your baby to die. A baby in a cold, detached crib, all alone, forces their body into a stress state or dysregulation. Babies are meant to be attached to the mother most of the time, this includes sleep time. It's not a question of 'well, which do you like better?' It's a fact of human biology--that doesn't care about modern human preferences. 'Shaking' the nurse? Unfamiliar w/ that phrase. I will say that authority figures in society must always be open to critique for the information they disseminate to the public. It's the responsible thing to do. Her equating her hypothetical baby's care to that of an icu baby's care is absurd, when statistically, her baby wouldn't be an ICU patient. It's apples and oranges. Young women need people like me pointing this out because not everyone looks beyond the surface. This is so important. ICU babies, God bless them, are not the average baby! So, her generalized prescription, although indirect, should be scrutinized. AND let's see how she actually does things when she becomes a mom. We all know what they say about people making comments about parenthood *before* they're a parent....they have no idea!

I am not upset. What I am is annoyed. Dogmatic medical advice is taken as God's word in this country. For that reason, natural health/parenting/living is demonized, since it is opposite of the consensus in society. It's frustrating to see someone who is seen as an 'expert' use her platform to fantasize about the 'type of mom she'd be'. It's short-sighted and dramatic. AND as an ICU nurse, her opinion formed about what she'd do as a mom is narrow-minded, since most babies will never see the ICU (thank God). This type of content is seen by young women and pregnant women, who can be infected by her fear-mindset. I share my opinion bc women need to know that's not the only mindset to be had.