Exhaustion and other priorities is a problem. In this modern world it is hard to completely ban screens and fill the time with something else, because ADHD kids often need parental input if not on a screen. It is so hard to get the balance of rest, work and family time with a normal child, and even less so with an ADHD child. Also, in defence of Minecraft, it can be a very creative game, and when played between friends can result in great collaborations and creativity. Not so fortnight and Roblox.

This would have CHANGED MY LIFE!! I am homeschooling my ADHD child. What can I do differently for this child than I do for my neurotypical child?

Thank you ! I’m trying to correct this w my almost 6 year old. Every task gets a “ughhhhhh “ or big sigh and noooooo… from putting on shoes to brushing teeth or using the bathroom. I’ve worked up to him brushing his teeth one time and I do the other… working up to him brushing his own teeth. And yes I know this is ridiculous 😭

These big emotions wont happen as much at school because the person with ADHD has been taught to mask and suppress emotions in fear of ridicule & humiliation.. they arnt just acting up at home for attention, theyre showing their pain in a place they feel safe to do so! Don't fuel the fire but dont dismiss the childs pain by engnoring them either, causing them yet further trauma by expecting someone with a neurodivergent brain to act neurotypical because their emotions are inconvenient to you.. instead of doing research on what actually helps ppl with ADHD do tasks etc.. Body doubling or challenge for example.. Also search help with PDA (pathological demand avoidance) as most ADHD ppl have it. There are ways to help your children without traumatising them by neglecting their needs.. Work with their brains not against them. Half of these "tantrums" (terrible word to use for a child being overwhelmed/frustrated ect) wouldn't even need to happen if ppl did proper research and listened to ppl who know what their talking about like adults with ADHD that have life experience.

❤

This is so true. It is like a mask that my son removes once he is home. He is a totally different person than the subdued guy he is outside.

If you're lucky you can find ways to make non preferred tasks more palatable. For example, cleaning the bathroom by doing one part a day for 4 days instead of all in one day, then building up to 2 paths in a day etc. Allow your child to help plan the tasks so they can provide input as to how to accomplish them but make it clear what needs to to be done and by what deadline.

If you are a parent please don’t fall in this trap of PDA low demand parenting and more screens. I went down this path and child is SO MUCH worse off today.

id like to reframe " difficulty" to disinclined, give me 100 bucks and ill be social for a few minutes. some people cant not be social, extroverts vs introverts.

As a homeschool family, you just described most of my year. But it also explains so much. We've stuck to a household schedule for a full week now and things are getting better. Thankfully my kids have always been very low screen time (1hr a day max) and we take frequent breaks from it so they do love to go play outside.

I absolutely love this! It's a skill I also need to practice.

Thank Christ! That’s one thing we are absolutely doing. And we’re in the process of assessing for ADHD.

Good stuff!

We don't do much screen time at our house for these reasons. 1 or 2 shows a day but only once they have finished their homeschool, chores, and been respectful to others so often it doesn't happen. Problem is my kids use books to do the same thing.

Thanks for this, screens are such an uphill battle.

This all sounds great, I’m not being sarcastic when saying this except it doesn’t work lol What do we do when we have to leave in 15 mins and we find out that even without screens our child just sat there staring at the wall?

Wise words ! 👏🏼👏🏼

I would love to see a video on authoritative parenting style and what that looks like. I feel like I was this type once upon a time but as challenges have mounted, I’ve been worn down and I think I’m more permissive. Help!

WOW.. so so true.

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and expertise with us. Your channel is one of the absolute best I’ve seen on KZbin. You are providing so much value and even a short video like this helps and makes a difference. I’m going to keep working on affective calmness. Thank you. I look forward to watching your channel grow and grow!! 🍀

Thank you for the video. I've been watching several of your videos. Wanted to give you some feedback that several times your audio cuts out in the individual clips right before you are finishing your last sentence.

This is so true. I feel for this trap just the other day. My son and I are both ADHD we often butt heads. But I can also relate to him sooooo much faster than anyone else. Because I know exactly what he is thinking and why he did something before he does it. And not just because I’m mom, but because we are the same. But I am trying to be a way better momma then I experienced. My parents were old school. Corporal punishment, shaming, bullying to encourage better behaviour. It ruined me and any self confidence I ever had. The only attention I ever got was when I was obedient and did everything they wanted when and how. This channel is helping so many of us be better parents to our amazing adhd kids xoxox

When my son says these things I just walk away. It's very empowering!

My 7 years old goes opposite. He has adhd .One thing I always wonder about that he listens to his parents so well. But he doesn't listen to others like teachers and relatives. He behaves bad with others but he loves us even if i(mother) scold him but still he comes to me.he doesn't want to see me unhappy. But makes lots of troubles for others which is so frustrating for me. If someone stops him for something then he would definitely do that. It looks like that he has no manners. What should I do for that.he has a shadow teacher in school bcoz of poor focus and bad and silly behavior with others.i heard many people on you tube like parents or adhd coaches they always talk about adhd kids behavior towards parents. They say these kids r bad with parents but good with others. My son is totally opposite. How is that???

this is dreadful and you are too.

As a parent, this has been the most frustrating aspect of ADHD. The medical community in general does not have a good understanding and does not receive enough training in this area. When we first saw signs and began to experience severe emotional dysregulation at home, the doctors kept asking us just to monitor and wait and see. Things looked fine at school but at home my son was having daily temper tantrums sometimes for hours, hitting us, breaking things, and throwing things around the house with the intent to injure. Even after I understood that ADHD was the likely cause of our difficulties and demanded our doctor do an assessment to confirm an ADHD diagnosis, he took no action and just wanted us to wait and see and referred me to parent training geared toward neurotypical children. When it finally got so bad and everything felt so incredibly hopeless that I resorted to taking my son to the emergency room for help. After a few late night trips to the ER and a change in Pediatricians they were finally willing to prescribe medication which resulted in immediate improvement. It's taken a little more than a year of experimentation to get the medication tuned up to where it needs to be, but we are in a much better place now. But it has taken 5 years to get here and I was unable to rely on any doctors for help. I basically had to coach the doctors and feed them the information myself to get them to understand and provide the treatment my son needed.

and yelling directives isn't helping anyone focus.

Sorry, but this is such bad advice. This sounds like an adhd child will unavoidably get addicted to screens when you don't ban them altogether. Addiction is a coping mechanism and yes, adhd people are more prone to that. But that doesn't mean that an adhd child with a healthy environment and support will be sucked in by the demon machines. And quite frankly, screens are everywhere. You'll miss out on the chance to support a healthy use of screens you won't have anymore when they're in College and have to self-regulate. You only can learn self-regulation through exposure. It's called self-regulation, not parent-regulation. And it's better to learn it with a parental support system than later when you're out of the house and fend for yourself Edit: And when "mountains of research and evidence" is mentioned it would be nice to add one or two links to that. It's become such a disease to validate the own arguments by just saying there's research for that. There's research for basically every argument, the important part is the quality and peer review

Aaaah this is me! Aha moment!

I blame 90's sitcom Dads on my desire to give a heart felt lecture....

Instead of teaching parents to control their children/ADHD, wouldnt it be better to help their children to understand what being ADHD mean for them. List are just something to fail at..every ADHD "adult" knows lists do not work. This video triggered me because ADHD is mostly a disfunction of dopamine levels. Talking through the reasons why someone with ADHD struggles with certain tasks and constantly fails at something because of the way our reward systems chemically work, gives us a much better balanced understanding of who we are. This in turn allows us to push through the mundane tasks with breaks and also knowing most importantly that our neurodiverse brains are different. Reward systems for ADHD is actually ludicrous and setting a chold up to fail has life long impacts on us. Did you know that a ADHD person has 30,000 more negative comments than your average neurotypical person! This is substantial and effects mental health as adult. It seems these videos are about management from the parents perspective. My child has a tablet that actually helps them get tasks done. A ADHD brain is a very busy place. The "tablet gives that input (dopamine hit) whilst doing those tasks that would otherwise be a barrier to "getting stuff done". What 😮is the problem with that exactly? I would advise you actually go listen to the adult ADHD community for better insight. After all your children will be adults one day. let me assure you that most of us are broken because of this kind of advise.

I completely understand and agree with this. However, how do we foster building self-control and delayed gratification if we as the parents are always controlling all the access to preferred tasks? We have a 13 yr old and want to start working on him being able to complete necessary tasks before desired tasks on his own for college readiness.

I’ve seen you collab with Ryan Wexelblatt in the past. I prefer his methods and wording. A lot of this video puts the responsibility on the parent instead of having the parent teach responsibility to the kid with ADHD. But yes, I agree that long lectures don’t help. Short soundbites. 💯

It should be like this for all students. We are teaching kids to bring home their work when they are adults.

As a parent I really appreciate your videos. Thank you.

Any tips for a homeschooling family struggling with similar issues?

im recently adult diagnosed but have been using these videos to reparent myself. thank you!

My son gets plenty of unstructured play time between before and after school care, and playing with his friends at home. However his chores list started breaking down at some point where screen time was no longer an incentive to complete non-preferred tasks. Particularly when the reward could not be realized immediately. He would skip brushing his teeth before school because watching TV in the evening was too far off. Later on he would be disappointed and frustrated that he didn't have his screen time, but he couldn't connect those feelings with his failure to complete other tasks earlier in the day.

Thank you! So helpful!

Say it louder for the people in the back! I so agree with this. I need to prioritize it even more for my family. It's also good for adults to get out in nature, even if it's just for a walk.

"I can see you are upset, but this is an expectation and not a choice. I'm here when you need me, so please come to me when you're ready and you're ready to use your words." I love it.

True. It’s disorder of self regulation.

Thank you for uploading these informational videos and your tips are very helpful.

Totally agree. Screen time, the less the better

As a homeschooling ADHD parent, I am preparing myself to get rid of the screens... but also dealing with my own bit of screen addiction. Can someone just come to my house and take control of my screen addiction?🤣 😩

Totally agree.

Can this self-talk be developed? I recognize that screens make it harder but what if your child doesn’t have this skill even when there’s no external distraction?

Man glad I found this channel. Learned more in a few days then the years been dealing with 🙏

How do you promote delayed gratification? If they have a poor memory then rewards in future are hard for them to be motivated by, so what else can we do?

I can not deal with my child without screen she literally drives me crazy no matter many times I give suggestions and redirect she just becomes so hard ! And I am very patient I homeschool her take her places she just will not settle for the life of me