Recovering from someone being unfaithful is very difficult and terribly painful if you choose to stay. Takes time.... lots of time.

There is a bit of an uneven amount of effort that goes into rewarding the betraying partner though to many of these points and ideas. Something rarely discussed is how the unfaithful spouse has the ability to stay or leave in the majority of cases and is often assisted by a variety of third party entities. Legally they do not have to leave the shared home and are entitled to half of the assets, if they decide to not participate in a divorce process they can delay the whole thing for years and cause a significant amount of harm to the other partner along with any assets, children, or just their mental well being. Even in therapy and counseling there is a theme of creating a stronger relationship for both sides-- Which ironically rewards cheating as they can get healthier (which was possible before the affair) and a more secure relationship. If this were a board game, a career choice, or a meal choice there just isn't a reason to be a faithful partner over being the unfaithful one. If you were to poll both partners neither of them would want to be the partner who is on the receiving end of the cheating and all would prefer to experiment. This is the issue I think that therapy and relationship experts tend to neglect. The cheating spouse is the sole warden of truth, they have the majority of control due to the legal system, and socially there is very little consequence as most experts advise to keep the affair information limited. In the event both parties decide to try again and a new instance of cheating occurs a new social dynamic unfolds which is shame and scorn toward the betrayed partner for trusting a cheater again. And lastly as we live in reality with a limited amount of life on our clock the healing process could take decades whereas simply leaving the relationship entirely is a more time efficient path to healing but it's infinitely less profitable for experts in the field.

There is no way past it. She will always justify her cheating, she'll never hold herself accountable, and she'll never do the recovery work. In her mind, she is the victim

A great video that will help a lot is about how to manage the inevitable loss of control over the pleasure taken by the lover over our wife body. It can be very crippling speciallu when the affaire partner boasts abour it in profesional circles that end up in known ears. Thanks

Wow. This is spot on.

Congratulations! Your work has been such a help to me and has given me key tools to look at my relationship differently. Keep up the phenomenal work!

She is speaking the truth.

Impossible to move past it - it’s always there. Makes you not want to be committed to someone. Not for the “freedom” but to protect your heart. I’d rather be alone than continue the hurt and pain. Let it go and move on. Liars and betrayal hurts so much. I’d rather someone beat me everyday than go through this heartache.

No it doesn't go away but it does move to the background

My partner cheated. He has been extremely remorseful for a week. But after that he started shaming me (oh, not this again! When are you going to let this go) any time I remember something or I have a nightmare or I look for reassurance. I asked him for his phone password. I’ve always respected his privacy. I don’t want to go through his phone. But I want it mainly as a token that he has nothing to hide, that he can be transparent. And at those moments he gets angry at me and refuses. Am I out of line to ask for it even though he has always had my passwords, and I’ve explain so many times that my goal is not to go through his phone?

As the wayward spouse says, "You weren't there for me, so that is why I had the affair, I need you to see that you hurt me too." And the betrayed spouse says, "Okay, so I was a shit spouse and that justifies why you hurt me so badly, what do we do now? How can we move on from here, because oh, sure you are sorry you hurt me but still feel like it was okay you had the affair? I can't change that I was a shit spouse and I still feel like I was not good enough and I don't know how to be good enough. Maybe if I was so bad for you we should just separate."

In my mind, the big question is What is Love? When we're in love with someone there is deep, true devotion and loyalty and CHERISHING. I know my husband loves me because of these things. I couldn't consider that he truly loved me without them.

What if my husband won't let me see his phone after I caught him cheating over the phone and text on me? He cut off communication with the co-worker but will not leave her department until a new opening comes up. He wants me to trust him but deleted all messages and call logs. He tries to minimize by saying he doesn't remember what he said and he was angry with me during the call with her. He also claims this never happened before and they had never texted inappropriately before. I do not believe this but believe he wants to believe it. He only confront and admitted to the issue after I got other co-workers involved and a manager. Now he has taken some good actions since then like not drinking in the house and going to counseling. But still all electronics of his are shut down. Excuse- I sent one co-worker a message years and years ago about not hunting here when he invited them too.

I really wish I could love him more than his mistakes and I think I would be able to rebuild except I'm just punishing myself every single day as I try to adjust to my partner now becoming a father again. We are both 48 years old. I don't want to have anymore children it's the time in life most plan for retirement. Not raising a baby for the next 18years. The affair partner now a permanent person in our lives and I'm given no choice once again over the toxic negativity interjecting my reality. He took my autonomy and destroyed my reality but didn't even tell me until the child was almost born ....I struggle with the feeling that his consequences include losing this connection. It was once in a lifetime connection. You don't get to disrespect something so monumentally and still get what you want. I think he must lose me, if not then what will have been learned ...he will just keep doing what he does ...because nothing really impactful happens as a result. I don't know how I can forget that I wanted a different life ...not this one he's proposing .. so I'm expected to just stay with him? He shit the bed I didn't ....why should I have to sit in his mess now with him until his karmic debt is paid .. no I don't think the universe wants that. I really question if I'm mentally unwell even considering the possibility of staying and navigating this shit sho

Woman fills a void by having an affair. Emotional void, that they are not able to replace by them self and by validating the affair through resentment, unmet needs towards their spouse. When a woman crosses the line, there is no return to marriage, because woman act in accord to their emotions - they give them all to the affair partner and when that happens, they are not only emotionally, but also physically gone. The other spouse, if he does not leave, is now only a tool, a mean to an end - he is a walking wallet and a parent to kids. His role as a husband towards his wife ended with her decision and resentment way before the affair.

An affair is always the oea under yhe mattress, it's always going to be there. Wherther male or female once I shed a disloyal person I no longer suffer.

If there are no children involved, I 'm out the door, she can grow without me. If I stay I never want to hear sbout love from her lips. She is now on the cusp between a friend and an acquaintance, her choice ladies. Play atound lay around.

Hi Idit, how exciting to listen to you and Terry chat. I'm a licensed RLT Coach in Israel. Never before has the work of coming into repair and connection been of more value than now as we experience so much hurt, trauma and pain in Israel on such a large and collective level. Thank you for this interview.

My questions for you over affairs. 1 is it turth that Not every affair involves sex. ARE still affair or do people need sex for affair or cheating to happen ur not. 2 are you really sure it affair without having no no sex 3 What another ways to have affair or cheat on someone without having no sex .x. 4 is it turth that Cheating doesn't always have to involve sex or even talking about sex.

there is no recovery, get rid of the cheating partner, find a moral person

Undetected lol ya the hooker gene passed down by evil no Brainer iam not a smart man but I do know what loyalty iiis to gutless to walk away if not happy instead choose the iam garbage human route

Well well well..

Can people have affair or Cheat on someone without never never having no sex.

Thanks for your efforts. But the only thing to do is get out bin there it doesn't work takeing back make you metal health than you on tablets no good just go good luck with that 🇬🇧❤️🙏

This was profound

Just. Bin there. My advice is just got out of it its sad but it's the best way out good luck from Lancashire England UK 🇬🇧xx

I have question for you over affairs. What happen if dating morgan and i starting texting my ex boyfriend stephen his behind back i would be staying i love you and miss you to Stephen and good morning and how are you with 😘❤️💕🥰😍 is it emotional affair or micro cheating

❤

She speaks truth

well done!

I lay n my bed and secretly cry it’s been 2 years since D day and it’s like it just happened yesterday he has been cheating our whole marriage of 31 years and he blames me for what he did. And still lies about his 2 year affair. I have no money for counseling and left ti try and heal myself.

Is emotional affair is real thing And affair or is made up?

Sounds more like excuses for a woman cheating. A man is neglected too. It's called marriage. Raising children means sacrifice. I've had married women have sex with me. It's a good time having sex,bottom line! Attention from someone else because the marriage relationship has cooled down. It's exciting, she just got away with robbing a bank.

Thank you. Your videos have really helped me during this time. Suffering after a double betrayal, and just trying to get back to square zero, let alone square one. The intrusive thoughts are so bad, I would almost say life crippling at times. I want to move past this, and learn to forgive and to heal, but there is just so much to unpack and deal with. To use a terrible metaphor, I feel like after I work through one box full of hurtful crap, and feel like I might finally be able to close it, two more boxes of hurt pop open and I have to deal with them. Mountains and mountains of hurt to sort through here. I'm wondering if it's just best to cut the cord.

Thanks for hosting this interview with Terry Reel. You and this author are new to me. Refreshing and insightful!

Thank you

Thank you for taking the time to make these videos, thank you for sharing your knowledge and insight, appreciate your work.

Thank you.

Thank you

This was great, thank you so much. The "do's and do not's" are spot on. All I want is empathy, connection, and compassion.

Keep the good work compassion and love knows no limits and certainly the Lord sees with good eyes the effort that you make helping broken souls.

What a wonderful lesson, I don't now why it doesn't get more views. Many marriages and suffering could be heal. I don't see many counsels for the lover universally depict like a monster.

How do you save a marriage with a husband that has an intimacy disorder and has a sex addiction and been cheating on you for 17 years? We’ve been married for 16 years and I just discovered the truth. My whole world collapsed and it feels like you’re been living a lie this whole time.

Thank you!

suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app +19087998357 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ? We have 2 kids together it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger..