The full transcript from David Hyde Pierce's famous stand up comedy special in the late 90s. I often post this hidden gem for those who never saw it because it's glorious " HI Thank you so much for having me here . Because this is a French English festival. Everything I say in English I will translate in French" ( Applause) "Thank you very much Dolacolestesmanasss Anyway I'm so proud to be part of this frasier show that has over the years produced dozens of sitcom superstars .......Ce show a produit des centaines de Losers . I'm sorry I'm going to stop this French bilingual thing. Obviously there's a problem with the translation. I don't know why. It was prepared by Maris actually. ( Long applause) Those of you who watch Frasier know that she is my wife on the show those of you who don't watch Frasier I'm not speaking to you so There .....as far as Maris she couldn't make it tonight ( Audiance complaining) I know. I know. We had a slight misunderstanding when I told her I was going to the " Juste pour rire" festival.. As you would know her French is good but it's a little spotty. She thought it was some convention of plastic surgeries for butt lifts. So when I told her it would be right up her alley..... She took offense Another thing I want to clear up. I'm not an actual psychiatrist although I play one on TV. Sure it sounds obvious but you wouldn't believe the amount of people who think I actually have a practice. Even my friends tell me " David if you're not in therapy you really should be But playing a psychiatric on TV does not qualify you to be one in real life.... Well in California it does. But in real life you need training . You need A degree and maybe a song. I have the latter but you probably don't want to hear it " (Audience complains) " Okay okay. Well this is a rap song I wrote about being a therapist. I named it " The therapist song" "So you walk into my office and you’re feeling kind of low You’re depressed, confused, and anxious, you’ve got no place to go Well, I’m the one to talk to,I’m the man who understands You just take a hundred fifty bucks and pop it in my hands And hit the couch, hit the couch So you say you hate your mommy and your dad was gone a lot You had intimate relations with your pet dog Spot Now you need some words of wisdom, need some help to find your way Just relax upon my sofa, I know just the thing to say I say, uh-huh… uh-huh… uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh Say how’s that make you feel? Second verse: There’s a lady on my ledge and she’s looking mighty fine But that chicken suit she’s wearing says she’s out of her mind Lady, step in through my window, watch your head, you’ll want to crouch Lay your eggs upon my desk and park your beak upon my couch Hit the couch, hit the couch Now this Chicken Lady’s crazy, there’s no doubt, I needn’t ask it She’s a few eggs short of an Easter basket So what’s a man to say to a lady who’s a bird I can solve all of her problems with just one little word I say, uh-huh, say it with me now I say, uh-huh, say it a little louder Now uh-huh, once again uh-huh, once again uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh Say how’s that make you feel? Last verse Here’s a man I’ve been his shrink for seventeen years We’ve shared a lot of laughter, we’ve shared a lot of tears But now he says he’s healthy, says his therapy is through Says he’s moving on, well I’ve got a word for you I say HEY! That’s my word for him I say HEY! Listen to me Jim. I have got a mortgage, leased a BMW I’ve got a wife who’s like a refugee from “Taming Of The Shrew” So you may say you’re healthy, no if’s or and’s or but’s But if you think you’re getting out of here, well buddy, you’re nuts! Hit the couch Hit the couch Hit the couch Hit the… I’m sorry, our time is up Hit the street " 😂😂😂😂😂 David would have been an amazing stand up comedian. Here's the video link kzbin.info/www/bejne/o3_am5KkbKqfh9k

He's gonna give back what he stole too or go to jail for being involved in the Freemason Illuminati Epstein network

Delightful performance. Loved him In "Frasier".

Raise your hand if you watched “Cinderella”. ✋

Bebe approves 👍🏼

Oh dear God, oh dear God Niles.

Its nice to see dhp let loose lol😅

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Now that song came out of nowhere. Did not expect it at all

Niles was the best comedic character of the 90s. George Costanza was great but Frasier was a smarter show

I hope He wasn't sued. Remember when Dido sued Eminem? Granted. He never paid Her for using that Verse in Stan.

NILES! Lol!

Oh that's just what we need, Niles, a fourth language!

I can't breathe! I'm dying with laughter!

Good Ol Maris

Move over Eminem.

I love this guy and Niles was the best character on Frasier

I absolutely love this guy.

The greatest roasts from David Hyde Pierce's famous comedy stand up special in the late 90s. I post this once a year as everytime some people see it for the first time " HI. I'm so pleased to be here. Because this is a French English festival. Everything I say in English I will translate in French" ( Applause) "Thank you very much Dolacolestesmanasb😂😂😂 " I'm so proud to be part of this Frasier show that has over the years produced dozens of sitcom superstars " " Ce show a produit des centaines de Losers " . I'm sorry I'm going to stop this French bilingual thing. Obviously there's a problem with the translation. I don't know why. It was prepared by Maris actually. ( Long applause) Those of you who watch Frasier know that she is my wife on the show those of you who don't watch Frasier I'm not speaking to you. As far as Maris She couldn't make it tonight ( Audiance complaining) I know. I know. We had a slight misunderstanding when I told her I was going to the " Juste pour rire" festival.. As you would know her French is good but it's a little spotty. She thought it was some convention of plastic surgeries for butt lifts. So when I told her it would be right up her alley..... She took offense " 😂😂😂😂😂😂 " Another thing I want to clear up. I'm not an actual psychiatrist although I play one on TV. Sure it sounds obvious but you wouldn't believe the amount of people who think I actually have a practice. Even my friends tell me " David if you're not in therapy you really should be" 😂😂😂😂 " But playing a psychiatric on TV does not qualify you to be one in real life.... Well in California it does. But in real life you need training . A degree and a song. I have the latter but you probably don't want to hear it " (Audience complains) " Okay okay. Well this is a rap song I wrote about being a therapist. I called it " The therapist song" "So you walk into my office and you’re feeling kind of low You’re depressed, confused, and anxious, you’ve got no place to go Well, I’m the one to talk to,I’m the man who understands You just take a hundred fifty bucks and pop it in my hands And hit the couch, hit the couch So you say you hate your mommy and your dad was gone a lot You had intimate relations with your pet dog Spot Now you need some words of wisdom, need some help to find your way Just relax upon my sofa, I know just the thing to say I say, uh-huh… uh-huh… uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh Say how’s that make you feel? Second verse: There’s a lady on my ledge and she’s looking mighty fine But that chicken suit she’s wearing says she’s out of her mind Lady, step in through my window, watch your head, you’ll want to crouch Lay your eggs upon my desk and park your beak upon my couch Hit the couch, hit the couch Now this Chicken Lady’s crazy, there’s no doubt, I needn’t ask it She’s a few eggs short of an Easter basket So what’s a man to say to a lady who’s a bird I can solve all of her problems with just one little word I say, uh-huh, say it with me now I say, uh-huh, say it a little louder Now uh-huh, once again uh-huh, once again uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh Say how’s that make you feel? Last verse Here’s a man I’ve been his shrink for seventeen years We’ve shared a lot of laughter, we’ve shared a lot of tears But now he says he’s healthy, says his therapy is through Says he’s moving on, well I’ve got a word for you I say HEY! That’s my word for him I say HEY! Listen to me Jim. I have got a mortgage, leased a BMW I’ve got a wife who’s like a refugee from “Taming Of The Shrew” So you may say you’re healthy, no if’s or and’s or but’s But if you think you’re getting out of here, well buddy, you’re nuts! Hit the couch Hit the couch Hit the couch Hit the… I’m sorry, our time is up Hit the street " 😂😂😂😂😂 David would have been an amazing stand up comedian. For those who have never seen it. Here's the full link. Enjoy 😂 kzbin.info/www/bejne/o3_am5KkbKqfh9k

Laughter ...the best therapy

The man is a genius

Lol filmed on a potato.

Lol filmed on a potato. Still awesome that I know of its existence cause of the video.

A brilliant talent in everything he does.

I need him

Why is Niles Craine so damn funny?!

The greatest roasts from David Hyde Pierce's famous comedy special in the late 90s " HI Because this is a French English festival. Everything I say in English I will translate in French" ( Applause) "Thank you very much Dolacolestesmanasb😂😂😂 " I'm so proud to be part of this show that has over the years produced dozens of sitcom superstars " " Ce show a produit des centaines de Losers " . I'm sorry I'm going to stop this French bilingual thing. Obviously there's a problem with the translation. I don't know why. It was prepared by Maris actually. ( Long applause) Those of you who watch Frasier know that she is my wife on the show those of you who don't watch Frasier I'm not speaking to you " " Maris couldn't make it tonight ( Audiance complaining) I know. I know. We had a slight misunderstanding when I told her I was going to the " Juste pour rire" festival.. As you would know her French is good but it's a little spotty. She thought it was some convention of plastic surgeries for butt lifts. So when I told her it would be right up her alley..... She took offense " 😂😂😂😂😂😂 " Another thing I want to clear up. I'm not an actual psychiatrist although I play one on TV. Sure it sounds obvious but you wouldn't believe the amount of people who think I actually have a practice. Even my friends tell me " David if you're not in therapy you really should be * 😂😂😂😂 " But playing a psychiatric on TV does not qualify you to be one in real life.... Well in California it does. But in real life you need training . A degree and a song. I have the latter but you probably don't want to hear it " (Audience complains) " Okay okay. Well this is a rap song I wrote about being a therapist. I name it " The therapist song" "So you walk into my office and you’re feeling kind of low You’re depressed, confused, and anxious, you’ve got no place to go Well, I’m the one to talk to,I’m the man who understands You just take a hundred fifty bucks and pop it in my hands And hit the couch, hit the couch So you say you hate your mommy and your dad was gone a lot You had intimate relations with your pet dog Spot Now you need some words of wisdom, need some help to find your way Just relax upon my sofa, I know just the thing to say I say, uh-huh… uh-huh… uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh Say how’s that make you feel? Second verse: There’s a lady on my ledge and she’s looking mighty fine But that chicken suit she’s wearing says she’s out of her mind Lady, step in through my window, watch your head, you’ll want to crouch Lay your eggs upon my desk and park your beak upon my couch Hit the couch, hit the couch Now this Chicken Lady’s crazy, there’s no doubt, I needn’t ask it She’s a few eggs short of an Easter basket So what’s a man to say to a lady who’s a bird I can solve all of her problems with just one little word I say, uh-huh, say it with me now I say, uh-huh, say it a little louder Now uh-huh, once again uh-huh, once again uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh Say how’s that make you feel? Last verse Here’s a man I’ve been his shrink for seventeen years We’ve shared a lot of laughter, we’ve shared a lot of tears But now he says he’s healthy, says his therapy is through Says he’s moving on, well I’ve got a word for you I say HEY! That’s my word for him I say HEY! Listen to me Jim. I have got a mortgage, leased a BMW I’ve got a wife who’s like a refugee from “Taming Of The Shrew” So you may say you’re healthy, no if’s or and’s or but’s But if you think you’re getting out of here, well buddy, you’re nuts! Hit the couch Hit the couch Hit the couch Hit the… I’m sorry, our time is up Hit the street " 😂😂😂😂😂 David would have been an amazing stand up comedian. For those who have never seen it. Here's the full link. Enjoy 😂 kzbin.info/www/bejne/o3_am5KkbKqfh9k

Maris...lol I'm not talking to you lol 😅

Funny guy love David

Was this in Montreal? Edit: I see Verden mentioned.

Ahahahah! I love them!

Silly is good, lol .

Just saw this. Love it! I’m going to have to see a therapist over my obsession with this man lol

"Prepared by Maris..."

he’s so precious i’m screaming crying throwing up 💀💀

DHP oozes charisma humour and talent.

There is a David Hyde Pierce stand-up routine that must be floating around the internet, although I have never seen it on KZbin. It's from the Montreal Just for Laughs festival. He recites an obscure poem written by a 19th century Ontario furniture manufacturer and cheese enthusiast named James McPherson. All the dude's poems were about furniture and cheese. The cheese ones were the best. I paraphrased one in a public speaking contest in grade nine English class. I stammered like a fourteen year-old virgin, but still got some laughs. This is my memory of the poem. It wont be word perfect. The Oxford Cheese Ode We all adore ye, Queen of Cheese Sitting gently at thy ease In the sunshine, and the breeze. Thy fair form no flies dare seize. In the morning, we will go. Through the sleet, and through the snow. On a wagon. Eastward Ho!. To the public fair in Toronto. What was my point? I did recited that poem in public ten years before David Hyde Pierce at the Just for Laughs Festival. So where's my Cheers spin-off? I'm just kidding, even though George (Norm!) Wendt played the title role in a 1980s BBC production of Oblomov. Yes the 19th century Russian novel who only Russians and pseuds like me give a flying fuck about. About a lazy aristocrat who is so self-pitying that he never gets out of bed. His equally self-pitying thieving,lying, pilfering lazybones serf manservant, Zakhar. A 19th century Russian aristocratic Manic Pixie Dream Girl. And the dull as dishwater German staff officer she eventually marries because Oblomov is just too lazy George Wendt was an inspired choise to play a character like that. I've never managed to see this production, but it's out there somewhere. I've lost my train of thought. Masters of Atlantis and The Master and Margarita are also really good. Slava Ukraina!

I’m making a time machine just to go back and be there on the night this was performed

i do love love love Hyde Pierce!

Актёр высочайшего класса!

Brilliant

Wow. Didn't know David did standup. Love him on Frazier....The best show ever..

Oh my God all these years i didn't realize how talented he is ,yes always rnjoyed him on Frazier ,,but he is so full of natural gifts wish he would have done more sitcomsv

, OK, like, I ♥️ him& everything, but, what would he do with an attractive Montreal anchorwoman, Edit:, seriously, he said ,in the same breath, that he'd also like to see a fight in Cockburn

I gotta a wife that like a what from the taming of the shrew?

Omg hilarious 😂. The song reminds me of the Friends episode where Ross wears leather pants.

"Why'd you do that son?" - Martin

David Hyde Pierce for President 2024 !

What an extraordinary talent. One of the best stage actors, comedy actors, comedy writers of his generation. It's a shame that he can never quite get away from Niles in the eyes of the public.

He made Fraser the show it was.👏👏 Kelsey had too much gay mannerisms 😂😂