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@southernbawselady7092 7 күн бұрын
Awesome Insight! 🙏💜
@j.edward4141 17 күн бұрын
You became a Christian when you were baptized as a little baby.
@philipmarchalquizar7741 21 күн бұрын
you left the CHURCH the one body of Christ established. you are on your own bruh and your 10 percent Asking price Pastor. Man made Opinion 😊
@jomymatthews 21 күн бұрын
Still smiling for the Pope huh? Great job.
@philipmarchalquizar7741 21 күн бұрын
@@jomymatthews what is your authority? 10%pastor huh?
@jomymatthews 19 күн бұрын
What was the disciples authority to share the gospel with the world? Bachelors or Masters?
@philipmarchalquizar7741 18 күн бұрын
@@jomymatthews is your Pastor a disciple of Christ in what manner(book of Acts) ? Can you ask your pastor who layed hands to them? Can your pastor traced back his lineage back 2000 years ago? it's in the book of Acts. or he just open his bible, sight few verses, ask 10% tithes and establish his own denomination, Your supporting, feeding his family.
@thejerichoconnection3473 21 күн бұрын
You said it yourself: “I didn’t really know much about it” How can you leave something you don’t know anything about? What if that something you left was the truth? You didn’t become a Christian 10 years ago. You have been a Christian since your parents had you baptized. Not sure which denomination you ended up with but you can be sure you will never find the fullness of the Christian faith there. Praying for your conversion. God bless.
@jomymatthews 21 күн бұрын
Apart from the false pagan gods and transsubstantiation and works salvation and the real 'constantine' story of the origin of catholic church, you are right, I don't know much. I didn't end up with any denomination. I ended up with Christ, for which you would have killed me about 1,000 years ago. So I understand the frustrustion.
@thejerichoconnection3473 21 күн бұрын
@@jomymatthews thanks for your response. there’s no frustration. Just sadness in seeing people reject the truth because it was proposed to them in a horribly distorted way. It’ll be a long journey way back home. I’ll be praying for you. God bless you.
@jomymatthews 19 күн бұрын
Jesus is the Truth. Not a false pope, which is nowhere in the Bible and for saying this you'd have killed me by burning on stake. So no thanks.
@j.edward4141 17 күн бұрын
@@jomymatthewsYou should look more into the church history from a Catholic perspective and not the perspective of everyone who rejects Catholicism. I’m personally a revert because I fell into the trap of reading only from Protestant perspectives. Well meaning as they might be in accord with their own convictions, they were wrong the majority of the time and sometimes slanderous for slander’s sake. I also pray for your reversion. God bless.
@chibekikon5812 21 күн бұрын
Poorly formed catholics become protestant and well informed protestants become catholic
@dognose8518 21 күн бұрын
there was nothing here about Catholicism. my personal opinion is that denominations dont matter, being a Christian first and foremost does.
@jomymatthews 21 күн бұрын
I don't think a Christian can stay in a false denomination for long, which is 99.999% of deniminations out there including the mainstream ones.
@Shotgun_Only 21 күн бұрын
You seem like the kind of dude to dismiss 2000 years of theology in favor of whatever Pastor Mike says
@jomymatthews 21 күн бұрын
Wrong answer.
@rosalindmugo7248 24 күн бұрын
Beautiful testimony. Thank you for sharing
@jomymatthews 24 күн бұрын
Thanks for listening. God bless you.
@Shotgun_Only 21 күн бұрын
Not beautiful at all. He says he just didn’t feel like going to Mass and that’s it. Homeboy is into light Christianity
@petercole5858 21 күн бұрын
Catholics are Christian.
@jomymatthews 19 күн бұрын
You calling me homeboy is the reason why I will never attend a mass. One of it.
@jomymatthews 19 күн бұрын
Nop. 100% nop. Sorry
@jessicastortz9138 26 күн бұрын
The mom still wants to play"House" with the adult child
@jomymatthews 24 күн бұрын
Pretty much. Thanks for your comment!
@jessicastortz9138 2 ай бұрын
I know a 28 year old male who has terrible toxic emeshment problems with his mom. He once said to me " why do I neeed a girlfriend when I got my mom". 😮😮😮 WTF. That is creepy!!!
@jomymatthews 2 ай бұрын
That's deep conditioning. He is oblivious to what a true relationship is supposed to look like. His mother has conditioned him to think that his relationship with his mother is the norm. He may not even understand the creepiness of that because to him it's "normal". ( He could also be reaching out to you subconsciously, but you have to draw a line when it come to things like that as well ) Thanks for your comment.
@jessicastortz9138 2 ай бұрын
Sad part is, he's the younger of his 3 siblings.
@jessicastortz9138 2 ай бұрын
For some reasons I feel that his mom sexual abused him.
@user-lm6ro4ec9v 2 ай бұрын
Thank you for this ❤
@jomymatthews 2 ай бұрын
You're welcome! I am glad it was helpful. I think I accidently skipped over one of the schemas( it's still in the document), but I am glad you found it valuable!
@traweler155 3 ай бұрын
Important thank you
@padmalama5277 3 ай бұрын
Hi Jomy, if you could also share the link to the document you just shared here, would be helpful to learn more. Thank you.
@jomymatthews 3 ай бұрын
Sure! Here it is - docs.google.com/document/d/1EuhpXYfmwQGWEkxS_9d3M2d9urAB5wL_QvVZ9-3Gk-M/edit?usp=sharing (Go to file-> make copy )
@padmalama5277 3 ай бұрын
Very informative, thank you for bringing this up. It is helpful to know why we are like this, please make another video to help self so we can overstep this. Thank you.
@Sparrow0514 3 ай бұрын
I would have liked to have heard a little more explanation on how the poly vagal theory ties together with growing up in parental enmeshment.
@jomymatthews 3 ай бұрын
Sure, I will work on a part 2 for this. But enmeshment , just like narcissism cuts one off from his/her authentic self and thus puts them in a lower frequency or "dorsal vagal complex". Ultimately it's all about living a life not knowing who one truly is because of lack of parental nurture and authentic care while growing up. But once you reach a certain level of healing and start getting in touch with your real self , things can start getting brighter and brighter.
@helenafagerstrom8970 3 ай бұрын
My mother definately suffers from victim mentality. My father is a workaholic and extremely emotionally absent/distant when it comes to family life. I've managed to overcome the enmeshment, but my older brother.is definately enmeshed with my mother. He has never married, is now 58 years old and has recently moved back home to care for our mother who has become ill with cancer. It's truly quite sad!
@jomymatthews 3 ай бұрын
Great to hear you've overcome enmeshment, Helena! Yes, enmeshment is a suffocating feeling and so difficult to explain because it's trained since childhood. Good thing is you've been able to break that cycle of abuse and trauma, at least when it comes to enmeshment.
@anntrope491 3 ай бұрын
Independence should be the goal…
@padmalama5277 3 ай бұрын
Please make a detail video on correct parenting so it would help so many parents who are knowingly unknowingly overprotecting.
@jomymatthews 3 ай бұрын
Sure. Will make a video on this!
@padmalama5277 3 ай бұрын
Which one is best or is it situational?
@jomymatthews 3 ай бұрын
It depends on where you are. If you are in codependence, independence is better. But if you are independent, then you want to aim for "inter-dependence". Hope that makes sense. The ultimate goal should be interdependence.
@padmalama5277 3 ай бұрын
Thank you Jomy for this video, definitely new knowledge.
@jomymatthews 3 ай бұрын
I am glad it was helpful! Will try to make more videos of this nature soon. Thank you.
@rebeccajones8628 4 ай бұрын
My ex MIL was enmeshed with her son. She would call on Sat mornings at 8:30 am for nonsense, just in case we might get romantic. Sick, sick family. She is sick and he is too.
@diannetimpson6885 4 ай бұрын
My ex MIL called every night at 10pm. EVERY Night! I told him to disable the phone and he freaked out. No Way would he to be available for his mother 24/7/365.
@johnmills3163 4 ай бұрын
Very good ! ... Those are 5 top symptoms alright ! The selfishness shown by the parent to the child is huge, and is so wrong ! Very damaging !
@jomymatthews 3 ай бұрын
True. And there is also the "neglect" part, which is also abusive. Thank you!
@nardo218 4 ай бұрын
Hi - are you a therapist or a psychiatry student? It would be great if you could state your credentials and have them verified. You have good information, so if you can be verified, KZbin will put a banner on all your videos that say what you creds are.
@jomymatthews 4 ай бұрын
What if I am neither? Does that make me less credible ? Just a genuine question. I don't go with whether or not someone has a "credential" on their page. I go with whether or not this person can "genuinely" help me or not. That's it. But thanks for your comment. I appreciate it!
@mikesmith6594 4 ай бұрын
Thanks for the upload on this topic feel like I'm in a imeshed relationship with my father who's very narcissistic & hypocritical .
@jomymatthews 3 ай бұрын
Thank you. Yea, I will try to make a video on that soon- when enmeshment is mixed with narcissism, which is a deadly combo to be going through because of how "confusing" it can get. I understand. Thanks for the comment.
@realballer1885 4 ай бұрын
How do you get to to the green best state? It would be great to get new video with this topic!
@jomymatthews 3 ай бұрын
Thanks for the suggestion. Will do!
@realballer1885 4 ай бұрын
Hello! Really great work. Do you have any videos about healing from enmeshment - or talking about the healing part more ?
@jomymatthews 3 ай бұрын
Thanks for the video suggestion. Going no contact is definitely the first step. But will make a detailed one soon!
@MackSteele1 4 ай бұрын
Wow, I wasn’t expecting to get hit with this analysis this morning. Will take some time to process it. Thanks for sharing.
@TS-wj4uh 4 ай бұрын
I can so relate to what you are saying.For 30 years I am married to a man who had enmeshed relationship with his mother. She had 9 kids and said my husband is her ' favourite child'.She completely controlled and manipulated him all her life...despised me and our son...feigned illness to get his attention and asked him to come running to her at the drop of the hat whenever she wanted.Had firm control on his finances. After her passing away that place was taken by husband 's sister...Now sister controls his life, emotionally blackmails him,gives him validation for his wrong behaviour and in return he gives her validation and monetary help. Needless to mention,my family life has been hell.My husband shows extreme narcissistic behaviour.Justifies each and every action of his by blame shifting.Refuses to get therapy. thanks for this video.Could you help regarding how can I make him realise how he is being used in these enmeshed relationships,that has totally ruined our own family life?
@Katerina11788 5 ай бұрын
Thank you Jomy
@jomymatthews 5 ай бұрын
You're welcome! I am glad it was helpful
@pretheeshgpresannan4172 6 ай бұрын
Parents can be like "I have the right to eat you up because you are my toy" --shameless boundary destruction.
@XenLong 7 ай бұрын
This content is incredibly helpful and useful, you did a fantastic job explaining this. Thank you !
@jomymatthews 7 ай бұрын
You are welcome! I just posted a channel update!
@Humblebluegalaxy 8 ай бұрын
This is one of the best explanations of enmeshment/ dissociation that I have watched on KZbin.
@jomymatthews 8 ай бұрын
Dissociation is very real and could possibly steal years of one's life if subjected to CI. Thanks for your kind words!
@Vid7872 8 ай бұрын
Allergies. Mothers like to handicap their boys with allergies so they never participate in competitive sports and are terrorized by peanuts and ambient air. It stops them from group/vacation activities like sailing, scuba diving, hiking. I wouldn't be surprised if they suffer panic attacks and have trouble flying. The best part is, no woman dreams of a husband crippled with allergies and anxieties so mommy will never be replaced.
@jomymatthews 8 ай бұрын
The psychosomatic aspect of this type of abuse cannot be minimized. Very true. Appreciate your comment.
@Kayce429 8 ай бұрын
Is there always a sexual component in enmeshment?
@jomymatthews 8 ай бұрын
Yes. I would say so. But narcissism "without CI" could also be enmeshing. But it's very hard to detect since CI is very insidious.
@Thinkingmansrocket 8 ай бұрын
My life story
@gojiberry7201 11 ай бұрын
I don't know what's wrong with my mother, but she's certainly somewhere on the "Cluster B" spectrum. I have always been enmeshed with her (went no contact 3 months ago), but when I was with her, it was always an imbalanced relationship. I was still always less than her and needed to be obedient without question -- or she would break into a rage. So I always just shut down. Your videos are very well done. Thank you for your insight!
@jomymatthews 11 ай бұрын
Enmeshment can very well coexist with either plain narcissism or covert narcissism, which is tougher to identify. Congratulations on going no contact! That's a big step in the right direction! Glad it was helpful.
@gojiberry7201 11 ай бұрын
Thank you for your video, Jomy. BTW, I know what a tape recorder is 😃 I went NC because I also automatically regressed to being a little girl around my mother. (I'm 45.) So I would self-sabotage without even being aware of it. It's like you were talking about programming.
@jomymatthews 11 ай бұрын
A lot of splitting can happen especially if the caregiver is also a narcissist. That could explain the splitting sometimes. Glad I wasn't the only one that knew about tapes!
@shade1427 11 ай бұрын
This was very helpful and insightful! Thank you!
@jomymatthews 11 ай бұрын
You're so welcome! Glad it was helpful!
@b_b_b5146 11 ай бұрын
Thank you for this vid 💗 It's very clarifying.
@jomymatthews 11 ай бұрын
Glad it was helpful! 👍
@digitally_ascended_conscio6304 11 ай бұрын
This is so brootal.
@digitally_ascended_conscio6304 11 ай бұрын
@@kimberlyhills3920 Wait, I'm not making fun of anyone, the term that something is "brootal" comes from the blackpill, a quite depressing filosophy, focused around genetic determinism, including psychology. Like this guy explais: www.youtube.com/@lordofgingers/playlists Blackpillers use the summary "brootal" quite often, sometimes as dark humor meme, on the topic, not the person or making fun of accents or anything (I'm not english myself).
@Ryan-is-me 11 ай бұрын
3:43 <- What's the name of the book? I couldn't catch it
@jomymatthews 11 ай бұрын
Hey Ryan, the book is called "Silently Seduced". I just added the link in the description! Thanks for your question!
@Ryan-is-me 11 ай бұрын
@@jomymatthews Thank you!
@icmichaela3 4 ай бұрын
💯💔My God … this is real and pretty spot on.. I still prey everyday that the truth will set me free somehow.. my parents still to this day have control over me - The thing is - they will never , not once or ever will admit any wrong doing , or try to see things from my point of view.. yet I always forgive them, love them unconditionally.. I’m always in a secret battle within myself- is it me? Am I bad/ worthless.. etc. I’m scared
@gojiberry7201 11 ай бұрын
Boundaries violated 24/7, 365 -- this really rings true for me. I relate to ALL of it, actually, but yes, I also ended up in a friendship with a pathological narcissist after being enmeshed with my mom. So you definitely repeat the patterns. Thank you for your video! Very well put together.
@jomymatthews 11 ай бұрын
Yea, I am sorry for what you've been through. Both narcissism and enmeshment are truly hard to identify sometime when you are in it. So knowing the "problem" or the "patterns itself subsequently is sometimes a BIG step towards healing! Thank you so much for the kind words !
@jomymatthews 11 ай бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/kIGciXmjpNubmLc
@jomymatthews 11 ай бұрын
kzbin.info/www/bejne/kIGciXmjpNubmLc
@thesweatshed5230 Жыл бұрын
Hi, keep at the work. You might enjoy this channel 👉 #drjohnaking. I find him encouraging and insightful.
@tkomla Жыл бұрын
Thanks. Yes, helpful. Will be interested to follow your journey.
@jomymatthews Жыл бұрын
Thank you, Tamar! Have a wonderful weekend!
@류시면-o5x Жыл бұрын
한국말로 번역좀해줘요.
@jomymatthews Жыл бұрын
I will try to do that for my next video. Please try automatic subtitle option too. Thank you. 🙏