How to repair

Love this, thank you Heather! :)

Immediate girl-crush, and yes came for the topic and staying for it :)

Boston

First I have ever heard of this. False empowered and uncontained I can see in me. Very destructive in all relationships.

I didn't undersrand how we can heal this. The best version for explaining trauma, thank you so much. Half understood half healed

I forget how I came across your videos now that I have watched your series, but you have helped me really break thru my understanding of boundaries. Boundaries are a major life lesson for me. I am trying to do better but until this point in my life have only lived on both of the polar opposites and little of the in between. I sit in boundariless too long, then when it’s too much I swing to boundarifull. Boundaries are something I’ve looked into before, tried to educate myself on, however it is rarely talked about how boundaries are also meant to protect others from ourselves and not solely to be protected from the outside world. This makes sense to me when I am one who battles my worthiness what feels like minute to minute sometimes. Not feeling like I am one who deserves to be treated well makes it difficult to set AND keep boundaries that would make me feel protected FROM others which is what a majority of the information out there talks of - boundaries to keep others from violating you. Tight now it is a lot less overwhelming for me to think about exercising boundaries that would serve to keep safe the ones I love. It enables me a place that I feel more confident to confidently start practicing SOME kind of boundaries, to just get the ball rolling. Exploding on others makes me feel like garbage, feeding the my unworthiness and harsh self critic. Of course external only mirrors the internal, but again a place for me to optimistically start and at very least a new starting point for me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart 💚

In the past i have been stuck in disempowerment; especially like you mentioned when around others who have very strong belief systems/energy, those who assert themselves strongly. In those situations I shut down, become close to invisible, and have intense levels of shame. Thanks for your video.

Damn, good video yo

So good 👍 👏 👌 🙌

Finally and explanation between intensity & intimacy

I've been doing some self healing, and this breakdown is an excellent example of my current and mostly past behaviors. Thank you for sharing this knowledge 😁

Very nice. I think this goes beyond secondary emotions. Is not enough to see that we or the other has anger by why, is not change is less likely.

That part when you explain the "problem becomes solution" dynamic was tremendously helpful. 🙏

This is great. I learned so much... thank you!

You are very knowledgeable , lots of great information . But I’m curious am I doomed for love ?

This is such an amazing content, wow! I"ve watched every single minute of it with so much attention, every part of it fell so deep into his place in my lifelong inner conflicts. Thank you so so much dear Heather! You are so wonderful <3 And also I don't know where you took this information but it is so precious and precise, and it's free, wow. All my life I cannot afford to go to a therapist and also most of them are so out of touch with my inner processes that this peace of information really is something very precious for me. Thank you!

So helpful I find it confusing with self absorbed people that are unable to reflect back and make everything about themselves. If I step back they push and demand more connection. When I’ve explained how that feels and affects me they say that makes them feel bad rather than hearing me. So I find fear arises in my solar plexus because I don’t want to hurt them but also don’t want to stay in that dynamic. I know if they knew better they wouldn’t behave that way. I find I stop speaking because my brain is not sure what to do and I don’t want to harm For myself I’ve been doing some breathwork and self talk to comfort my solar plexus This is an old perplexing dynamic for me. I think I at times I am boundaryless and when in an abusive situation boundaryfull Hope that makes sense:) I’m now wondering if it’s boundaryless that I wrote this lol

So interesting and helpful Thank you!

This was incredibly helpful Thank you A topic that would be helpful is recovery from narcissistic abuse from a parent and the gaslighting within the family around it It is such a gift to hear you name things I have known internally but didn’t hear acknowledged externally. It feels like a godsend Thank you again!

Thank you so much

thank you !

33.27 😭 you just listed my needs. Clearly I'm insecure and partnered with an avoidant. He thinks I'm too needy.

Is this all true or you just guessing Because I think I am overly contained sadly 😔 But always put others first, understand what they are going though. and new to your KZbin channel 💜

This is the most helpful video I've found. Most videos just explain the symptoms but you gave actual solutions and I'm so thankful

I realy enjoyed this series , thank you i have learned a great deal from your videos. You have a great gift to explain and educate . Thank you

You are a lifesaver. Thank-you so much for making this.

Loved it. Looking forward to watch the rest of the videos

Thanks Heather

Love your videos! Thank you!

Your videos are super interessting and enlightening. Thank you for sharing this valuable information with us!

I absolutely love this!!! It's so useful for someone with anxious attachment style like me!

Thank you for this video! Really helpful and i love your way of communicating. I wanted to ask, sorry if its a long question i tried to keep it short. Do you think an Anxious Avoidant relationship can work out, even after the two opposites (people) have taken each other to a limit, where both of their Anxious and avoidant characteristics are a lot more heightened, but wanting to work it out. And if only one of them (anxious) puts practical effort in to heal while the avoidant says he wants to but is not practically trying to heal. Can the relationship heal and work out? You would really help a girl in need. Thanks 🙏🏼

Can we please have more of these videos?? Can you do a video that describes why anxious attachers are so fixated on avoidants?

as you described anxious avoidant it appeared to match your definition of Disorganized

Boundary-less :-(

😭 overly contained. Fear of being too much.

Thank you so much for this! I appreciate your effort in creating this video 💝

Thank you so much for this video! I learned a lot from it. I myself trying to be less over-responsible person ..by trying to learn what are my emotional boundaries.. tough times ;-) :-(

Can you give some practical examples within dating? What does it look like to set emotional boundaries or of lack of this boundaries?

Video starts at 3:42

This is me fulfilling my promise, he’s my favorite after so many heartbreaks. I thought it was time to give myself a break and focus on my job while trying to heal from my previous toxic relationship. After about a year and half I met a man who turned out to be my daughter’s boss , I was reluctant at first but his persistence and high spiritedness got me submissive. We started getting along so well , no day passes without constant communication, I fell in love and didn’t want to be hurt ever again; told him my weaknesses and he told me his, along the line he came across his ex and his attitude towards me started getting cold. Seemed like deja vu all over and so I couldn’t let the anxiety tear me apart. I met a colleague who introduced me to the best set of Private investigators ultimate hack , I contacted and hired them almost immediately and they requested a down payment to commence the job after targets cell number was provided. After few hrs they responded with all the deleted and recent messages , Whats App Facebook Instagram Snapchat gps and archives of pictures he has been sending out; I practically had access to his phone without his knowledge. Turns out he connived with his young sibling to test my patience and tolerance, all the info was carted to me , thanks to the hackers I now pass his test with ease, lol . For assistance on how to track or monitor your spouse email ultimatehack003@ gmail com or Whats App/call/text +17202954268 I wish you well as You find out the truth about your partner just like I did..

Thank you Heather :) I was sent here by my therapist Brandon Tripp!

Amazing video with such great content. Thank you!

Thank you, Heather.

Hi Heather, I’m currently writing my final thesis for a Masters in psychotherapy and your videos have been incredibly helpful! Thank you for presenting these complex theories and ideas with such clarity and simplicity. Very grateful to you 🙏

Thank you !!! It was very helpful for me !