… AND THAT’S WHY WE DON’T WANT MEN IN WOMEN’S SPACES!!!

The rushing in to a committed relationship is so true. I've talked to a lot of domestic violence victims over the last 20 years. Almost every time they tell me that they moved in with the man as soon as they started dating.

I've asked around, and no one gets more upset while feeling like they're being listened to (me neither). I think giving the other person time to speak, giving your time, can save your life. Men and women. A simple "I understand" or "I can relate" can come a long way - Not only in friendship but also to sooth a potential threat.

I have asked abused women, would you stay in a burning house to figure out how the fire started, or would you grab your kids and run out??

When someone doesn't respect a boundary I put up, I just keep them at that distance. Until they've respected that boundary, they're on a mental armlength for me. Did this once with a small woman. She insisted. I played coy, jokingly avoiding her furthering requests (several different). When I left, she and some guys that came to where I left her, talked quietly amongst themselves, continuing standing outside a door to the stairway where my friend had just gone home. I gave him a text that they stayed outside him, and that he should keep his door locked. I tell my friends (autistic especially) that if someone doesn't respect your boundary, continue keeping that in mind. You don't know where the other person draws the line to what's okay to overstep, unless they show you that they respect your boundaries. It's good practice for one self to respect the boundaries you put for yourself - Makes you react more to when a boundary is ignored. edit: Doesn't matter if you're a male or female - My advice is for anyone.

Ótimo

I wish my mum had left when we were young.

I knew my classmates disliked me, so I was fine with them being kinda afraid. They didn't cross my boundaries. I carried that same attitude elsewhere. My family taught me to be safe first, not caring about being polite or agreeable. I also had a teacher hug me in a way that felt weird. My classmates thought it was bad to react the way I did. I just told him not to do that again and repeated my no when he started talking. Also, I remember being very conscious about safety. I wasn't afraid of being punished by my parents, I was afraid of other people. That's why I didn't drink or do other risky things.

I grew up being taught to "be nice", be polite, not hurt people's feelings, etc. All very good things to teach a child. I wish I had also been taught that there are predators out there and how to protect myself more.

Great information....BUT....you I don't address homosexuals attacking victims. You've assumed that predators against females are always male. Homosexuals are now a "protected class". So, now TJOSE individuals can get away with all forms of crime because they can "identify" themselves as any number of classifications. I'm a raccoon, therefore....LEOs can't touch me.

My shoe broke at work, ran home to change and as i was driving through my neighborhood i see my puppy running in the street. My sister accidentally let him out before going to sleep

I stay single no dating

Cats are often good at gauging who is a safe person and who isn’t. Cats aren’t nearly as trusting as dogs on average.

Someone recommended this book to me after I had an encounter while out hiking alone.. Looking back I should have stood up and grabbed my stuff as soon as my brain said WTH is he doing.. I was smart enough to tell him I wasn't hiking alone and he asked where my friends were, behind or in front, I said both. He disappeared as fast as he showed up.. I moved on a bit nervous what I should do and I ran into the only other solo woman hiking. She said he was asking her the same questions.. However, he KNEW she was hiking alone, because she told him.. So I hiked out with her.. Looking back on the scenario, I think he was waiting for her, and I just happened to show up and he heard me talking to my dog , and checked out a new potential.. I did turn it in to the Rangers They made a note of it.

As soon as he said a cat can live 3 weeks without food, I knew he wanted to kill her.

❤

Thank you.

Thank you.

“If someone doesn’t take no for an answer, they are trying to control you.”

What if they dont work he has all the money and pays all the bills you have to young boys to think about

We shouldnt have hide are bodys

We shouldnt have hide are bodys

He touble please beware

Yep

It happens to a lot of young woman

Thats not enough woman shelters

Good program

I no how she feels

Those a lot of mentality ill man out their

Thank you. I read this book years ago, it continues to empower and improve me, and makes me aware of situations affecting others too. Recently abroad I observed a woman who couldn’t say no, being persistently charmed by two strange men. My knowledge gave me the courage to stop, watch, assess and intervene. “They are not charming, they are trying to charm you. Why? Be smart, don’t stay to find out “

Women need to carry.

I just started reading The Gift of Fear last night when I went to bed and couldn't put it down. I read almost half of the book before I made myself stop and go to sleep. Wow. This is a must read, especially for women of *all* ages, but I think men would benefit as well, if only to understand the feelings and real life threats that their mother, sister, daughter, wife, girlfriend face almost daily. I'd say it's also a great 'reminder' for seniors also, as some of the tactics and deceptions described certainly apply to that vulnerable group. Thank you Gavin.

The woman that was murdered💔 the husband must’ve found out she was gonna go and got upset

An unpleasant guy in an unhappy marriage whispered in my ear at a low key party. Can I give you a Christmas kiss? I didn't even see him come to me. I was startled and said no, no, no. It was my 1st gathering after being widowed. He left the room then, returned to speak to a lady next to me. When I noticed him, he jumped back and said, oops, I'm scaring B. (He's not that powerful.) A year later, in another group setting, he waited next to the hostess. Blocking my exit and said, can I give you a hug. I repled: no and walked between them. NO IS A POWERFUL WORD. BEST REPEATED IF NEEDED. Better still: no, never. 😂

This entire series is fantastic! I am currently calling all the high schools in my city asking them to introduce this in schools! I hope they make one featuring stalking as well.

Vote Bear 2024

I need to make music based from this book

Every lady needs to take 30 minutes and watch this video!

These women are so brave and strong for speaking about their experiences 🫶💗

THIS IS WHEN SILENCE IS GOLDEN FOR THE MAN

This saved my life at a season when I needed it the most a few years ago and using your MOSAIC online.

I baffles me how we are teaching kids utterly useless stuff like logarithm or matrix operations (smth I've NEVER used in my life) and not stuff like this. 😡🤯

Gavin is amazing. I would love to shake his hand and give him a hug. I appreciate his vulnerability in sharing his own experiences with violence. That's what sets him apart from all other male 'experts' on violence against women. I've read thousands of nonfiction books. GOF is one of very few I would recommend to everyone I know and anyone who might be receptive to the hard truths he presents about how our culture silences women.

I'm watching this series for the third time because I just read about P. Diddy's brutal assault of Cassy Ventura caught on security camera. This is the beginning of my comments on articles about the story: "THIS BOOK SAVES LIVES: Gavin deBecker’s The Gift of Fear And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence (1999). I agree with Oprah's review: 'Every woman in America needs to read this book.' I would take it further...every teenager and adult...everywhere. It helped me process my childhood abuse and find my voice as a woman in a culture that constantly tells women to be quiet."

Thank you for sharing

Research has shown if a person is cruel to animals the next step is a human. Police start get twitchy when there is a spate of cat killings in an area because they know there will soon be have a murder.

I love Gavin, but I’m not sure I agree that dogs don’t sense a bad person.

I have been raped, attacked by a gang, attacked by the police, had ohysical fights w/ an ex oartner and put myself in front of a woman with two knives about to kill her boyfriend to stop her. But I dont remember feeling fear in those situations. However when I was 21 working as a stripper at a club, a client insisted on talking to me. I accepted (they have to drink & invite u which means more money). He called me by my real name. I looked at him closely, had never met this person in my life. I kept my job a secret, obly a few friends knew i was a stripoer and no one knew where. But he knew everything about me. He told me where i went to school, who my friends & teachers were and kept kn recitikn my biography.... i knew i was safe (i only have to scream and the bouncers kick hin oit in less than a second. But i was paralyzed. I djdnt know what to do or say... i didbt know what he wanted apart from scaring me. After 2 drinks he left. I went to the bathroom and broke down. This memory still makes my heart beat fast...who is thia guy? What does he want? What if he wants to hurt me? Im sure he knows where i live and with who and everything... but i dont have any obvious stalkers on my socials... maybe he juat wanted to see me scared and have that power trip & thats it.

Politically correct is not statistically correct 👏

My brother’s best friend, who was three years older than me(I was 13), offered to walk me home after a party he had invited me to. Just going over there to play video games, and he asked if I wanted some juice and I said yes. I remember thinking at the juice tasted somewhat fermented, but drank it anyway. I have been playing baseball all day. These were back in the days when parents didn’t keep tabs on their kids all the time. Within 20 minutes I started to feel very lightheaded and not so good so I said “I’m gonna go home. I don’t feel so good” my brothers friend, offered to walk me home, since my house was close, but it was a wooded area between the houses. As soon as we got into the woods, he forcefully kissed me and started tearing at my clothes. Sadly, this was my first kiss. I screamed and yelled and kicked and fart and he must’ve been scared that somebody would hear me because he took off and ran away. My brother was away at a camp, so when he was not at a party. Not that he would’ve protected me because my brother was not very nice. Anyway I get back to my house and it’s about 9:30 PM. At this point, I figured out that obviously he had put a large amount of alcohol in my drink, and I was feeling sick and could hardly walk. But I was terrified to tell my parents. I knew that they would accuse me of being stupid for walking alone with a boy and going to a party. Because a lot of people do that. They blame the girl and her choices. I was a child. I was wearing my baseball uniform. Not that it should matter. Yes, girls need to be taught self awareness, but I am so sick of people telling girls that it’s the way they dressed or the things they did because back in the Victorian days when women were covered from neck to toe women still got raped at the same rate it’s not about the clothes