Love these deep talks, so peaceful and vulnerable, I can relate a lot to them and my heart goes out to you for making such wonderful rich art

❤🎉❤

I used to go on walk/runs every day to manage my anger. Now my narcolepsy has consumed my body and I can’t do it anymore. Learning to cope without it has been so fucking hard.

not sure if youve covered it in another video, but would love to know what you do for work! totally understandable if thats not something youre comfortable sharing with online, though. thanks for your videos!!

the way you talk about anger @ 12:32 is really insightful and helped give me some release. this year i was home again from college for the holidays, and it was the first time i chose to not celebrate with my dads family. ive cut him off since late summer/beginning of fall, and its been a really hard process: its one thing to expect how difficult the holidays would have been in terms of guilt but another thing to live through all the pain and complex emotions.

This is the first video of yours I've seen, and I was absolutely floored when you said you're 22.. I'm 25 and I wish I had half the maturity, grace and perspective you project. This video was great and insightful, it's very easy to listen to you talk. I've also been struggling with anger a lot lately. I don't want to stop feeling angry for anyone else's sake - I want to stop feeling angry because it's just exhausting to be so angry all the time. The anger makes my life worse, even if I'm fully justified in feeling it. I have no energy at all, or I am literally shaking with rage. There's no middle ground. Most of my anger has nothing to do with my family, even. It's not hard to look at the world and find something to be furious about. It all just feels so inescapable and crushing. I'm afraid I'll feel this way for the rest of my life

I have been realizing how my mother has failed me often as a parent in the past few years and doing my best to distance myself from her. I had anger issues when I was younger and she has her own mental health problems so I don’t feel like I can fully justify being angry or not wanting her company and I needed this today.

There are two quotes I took from therapy and made into art because they helped me so much with this. "forgiving someone who is not willing to change is called enabling" and "Being the perfect victim is certainly good for your abuser"

I really appreciate these videos, your words are very comforting to me

i've seen someone once say, "anger is the part of you who loves you and knows you deserved better." i try to hold fast to that idea. anger leads to healing in its own way. thank you for framing anger as neutral as all other emotions.

I desire to scream through song, but testosterone makes my voice hurt haha <:]

I would love to know how you might spend quiet time with yourself.

Thank you for your video!

it's okay to stay angry guys, you don't owe forgiveness to *anyone* and it does not make you a bad person.

I believe I have commented this before, but one thing that I find really enjoyable about your videos is that the energy you put out feels really comfy. It is like a soft little space that opens up opportunities of self-reflection and feeling seen. That being said, anything you feel like sharing with us, whether it is about gaining new skills or sharing some of the things that inspire you (whether in art or in life), I'd be interested to hear. Thank you for another insightful video. 💚

the empathy i have for my parents doesn't diminish the anger at all for me - it just means that I'm able to understand why they do what they do, and not have to ruminate on it all the damn time. i have a very hard time letting go of things i dont understand, and 'why are they like this' was the biggest one. now that i know the answer is 'because being a conservative lets them believe the world that rewarded them at others' expense is a good world, and it also requires a lot of doublethink in order to keep considering themselves good people, and that delicately balanced ideology will self-defensively and harshly reject any change' i can go 'well i didnt deserve any of that shit.' honestly, gaining a full understanding makes my emotions (especially anger!) a lot less complicated

Leaving a comment for the algorithm, great video!

🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

thank u so much for ur words. i always feel so guilty for "still" being angry and holding grudges instead of forgiving ppl who hurt me but reframing it like u said feels so helpful already. my anger and grief are justified.

"This video would be twice as long" yes please, why isn't it ??

This video was good. I believe anger is importent to let it out and process the trouble in ourselfs.

I’m still living with my parents at 25 closing in on 26, I’m disabled and currently working thru school with the hope I’ll be able to hold a job on the other side of it, I’m a trans man and have used the label trans from the time I was 15 and I can identify moments and feeling from earlier that solidify that that’s true. My main family member that I have conflict with is one of my sisters. My mom seems to be at least accepting that this is who I am whether she likes it or not. My dad is concerned that my transness is related to my personality disorder and thinks I shouldn’t transition due to it. But my sister is actively transphobic and has really pushed back on me and called me some pretty horrible things related to it. She also is the parent to my nieces. I love my sister but it makes me sick to my stomach whenever I have to be around her, even when she’s not actively saying something hurtful, I guess, unless you’ve talk about it in another video, I would like you to talk about “when do you know it’s time to cut someone off” I can’t do anything about it while living with my parents but maybe for the future

"if it affects you, that makes it a big deal." whew. deeply relatable and deeply sad how much it needs to be said. this is my first holiday season estranged from my family as a queer adult. i'm still wrapped up in quite a lot of guilt and boundary-chaos being not completely no-contact. it's all just very heavy. but the moments of distance and quiet have been so brilliant, and so full of hope that maybe my life can be held in love instead of couched in shame and apology for my existence. anger has been so scary to feel come up because it's so validating. there's a contradiction there--that i'm okay to be making these choices, and that i am really this scared to love myself more than i feel small and ashamed. terrifying. i am grateful for this video because i will come back to this as a reminder that anger is okay for me to feel, for myself now and for myself as a kid who was deeply affected and was not cared for or seen. i would love to see more of these thoughts and musings not just about difficult topics but also about your life as a young adult. i love your running stories on IG and feel like you would create lovely day-in-the-life vlogs. your voice is so soothing and your perspective is so fresh, so anything you put out would be great. thanks for this video Onyinye <3

<3

i never thought of thinking of it like that me being angry for what i went through as child is me being the adult i so desperately needed in my childhood i think that unraveled some unspoken thoughts in my head. thank you for that

thank you for making shorts like this. I relate to your feelings a lot

thanks for sharing your story, it makes so many people feel less alone. i love the tattoos!

Can you make a vlog about the things and people that give you joy in daily life? I relate to yoour channel so much but I'm burned out from trying so hard to keep it together while healing. I would love to see what a light at the end of the tunnel might look like.

I'm not estranged from my family, but I know that feeling very well, Oninye.

i totally relate

❤❤❤❤

Your videos make me feel less alone. Everything you describe about your situation is very similar to me. Much love 💛

I'm so sorry your perfectionism got in the way of so much, but especially your mourning!! I'm sure this'll be the start of a healthier relationship with motivation, in the meantime I hope you can find it in you to be kind to yourself today

💚

found your pear tart video on accident. stayed for the vibes. 🤙🏽

i’m on a similar journey with learning to celebrate myself. one way i try to make it routine is to give myself opportunities to celebrate based on different scales of time. so on a monthly basis, the date of my bday is a day i use to focus on celebration, same for the day of the week i was born. i notice it helps me not depend on finishing something as the trigger for celebrating, and it’s even helped me plan things i feel stuck on bc i’ll be like “i want to celebrate having done this before my monthly/weekly ‘bday'.” it’s still an experiment for me, and i’m liking it so far.

this speaks to my soul <3

Thank you for sharing your experience with perfectionism, that’s probably my biggest block in my life right now. Let’s celebrate our wins, for real this time 😂❤ Artist to Artist

🤍

Havent watched yet but your video topics are just so incredibly on point and the los pollos hermanos shirt made me wanna scream i was debating watching this or continuing my BB rewatch Okay finished watching, I know my perfectionism is completely debilitating me but I feel like I don't have the distress tolerance to practice not chasing perfection. I have really bad anxiety but I feel like my concerns are always somewhat valid, maybe my thought that I'd get fired if I wasn't perfect wasn't true but the risk of me becoming homeless and dying alone feels super possible in late stage capitalism America as someone who's estranged from all my family and has very few friends. I have cptsd and am trying to build community to help realistically protect against that but it's hard for a lot of reasons. I like that your advice was not just to let go of it entirely but to start with things like celebrating yourself and trying to let yourself rest and embrace progress. Those things are still distressing to me though. Sometimes unbearably so. But yeah my perfectionism keeps burning me out and wrecking my mental health. It's like the biggest problem I have. It "helped" in so many ways in my life but now is really making things hard

It looks sooo nice!

Glaze or not, that looks bomb!

It looks gorgeous! It's awesome that you're striving for a new recipe every week :)

For the glaze: My french relatives always use sugar syrup. And my grandma always adds a little apricot marmalade.

The ice cream looks so good

💙

Can’t the top thing be the fact that they flambé it?

Glaze hack: just microwave some yummy jam until it's fluid and runny, pour over desired dessert, let cool. Tada!

That looks great! I’m impressed. :)

i relate so much wow. i constantly criticise myself, look for validation from outside and have trouble genuinely celebrating my wins on my own its so exhausting lmao. love ur videos and voice tho theyre so calming, could listen to u talk for hours!! thank u for sharing and being so open♥