I love those words, that’s how I feel.

💔💔💔💔🥀🥀🥀🥀🙏🙏🙏

Read Psamls . I was non believer but there is something magical in them.

If I knew there was a god, I think I wouldn’t be in so much pain, for the last 2 years, all I’ve been looking for is some sign that there’s an after life, it’s something I truly need to know.

I love you im struggling too and it hurts me knowing i. Will struggle all my life its only been 5 months

wow, a great Testament to survival and human will.

good question. If this question is being asked from direct experience, I am sorry you are in this lonely process. Gosh! I wish there were professionals here on this video, to offer help. I would like to know, too. For now, I would recommend signing up for griefshare. org . They offer online and in person group support. No one will be writing to you directly, but you will automatically be sent a compassionate, encouraging snippet every single day, based in scripture. I never push religion on anyone and am not doing so here. I found that what I was reading every day sometimes really, really hit the mark. I think I will sign up for another go of it. *Edit: I just went there to sign up for the daily emailing and see it seems to be more developed, more hands on. I know there are usually local group meetings you could find and attend. fyi, there are lots of support groups out there for grievers. Some are highly targeted according to type of loss. google "local grief support groups" and see if you can find a meet-up group near you.

@@moodylicious talking to people doesn't help. Doctors keep reccomending me those group things and I don't get it. I can't stand people and I'd hate that.

​@@shadowman7408 yes. I hear you & I get it. Do you feel like your mind is overflowing with feelings and thoughts about things? Do you find fleeting escape in music, movies, games reading, nature or hobbies? The first question was to help gauge the level of your inner self. Can you look w/i and see whether there is any calmness felt? If so, identify when you feel calm & what you were doing that put you in that state. If it is not dangerous, you'd want to go back to the source when you find yourself in an overly agitated state of mind. A steady diet of worry, stress, anxiety, & grief is not good for you/us. I 'get' your not being able to stand people. Does this include people of good intentions in your life who may care about you, despite your not wanting them? Since your people have died, has there been someone in particular who you know has sincerely reached out to you & stayed constant since? **Please know I ask these questions because I care. You asked your simple poignant question first. I, while struggling myself w/ more than yet shared, do have some knowledge & experience. And I feel for others, wanting to help, in any small way I can. All of us landed on this page about Complicated Grief because we were looking for understanding or answers. An option for you is to make a phone call to a reputable public outreach organization offering their services for free. The title Suicide Prevention Hotline is a misnomer or is misleading as you don't need to be at that point to make that call. I checked the site. suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ 1-800-273-8255 It says: "No matter what problems you’re dealing with, whether or not you’re thinking about suicide, if you need someone to lean on for emotional support, call the Lifeline. People call to talk about lots of things: substance abuse, economic worries, relationships, sexual identity, getting over abuse, depression, mental and physical illness, and loneliness, to name a few." ~~~~~ Talking to someone anonymous may help make you not feel so alone. And in your world, if someone is sincerely showing you they care enough about you to reach out; maybe try letting them in. Progress starts with baby steps.

@@moodylicious I drink and I game living in awful condition with awful neighbors with crippling symptoms from various chronic disease and just being haunted day and night by the memories of them and our home. There are no ressources where I live other than these stupid group sessions. Had tried, planned to meet up with girlfriend whose far away in another country and tryto have a semblant of a second life, but alas, got crippled again by a fucking dentist. Used to drink and game but now too bad off for even that. and yeah, other than her, and whats left of the second degree relatives i want nothing to do with anyone.

@@shadowman7408 oh sweetheart, I am SO SORRY you are in such a situation. It sounds very dismal. One thing I have learned, (sadly, painfully & realistically) is our futures, our healing, our surviving boils down to each of us personally choosing to make it or not. No magic pill will change us; no therapist. YES, they can help us see where we are in our thinking and they can tell us to practice mindfulness, to meditate, to pray, to take walks, to practice self-care....and these things DO help. They help because it helps to raise our consciousness. These things put us in touch with the perfection of being, deep down inside of us. And then, the hope is that a spark for survival is lit under us, driving us on to seek a way up and out of our degradation. For five years I have been sick with grief. I blame myself. I feel I do not deserve to live. I have let everything go and find no real compassion in my own "second degree relatives". Now I recently learned I have melanoma. I believe my body being constantly bathed in stress hormones, incredible grief, sadness, anxiety, self-disgust has given this cancer a place to grow. And as this is a free world and we are basically all ON OUR OWN, to live or die, succeed or fail; the world is fine letting us live or die. Those of us blessed or lucky enough to have someone near ready to drag us out of the misery of our lives should hang on them with all your might and LET THEM HELP YOU; for many of us are pretty much past helping ourselves. You must ask yourself if you have chosen to slowly degrade, decline and die from your drinking and disease? Do you want to get better? Do you want to live? Do you want to get away from the "awful conditions" you are living? Decide if you want to rise above your situation and SET YOUR MIND TO IT & DON'T GIVE UP, for there will be obstacles and setbacks. But if you manifest your thought, each move you make should slowly gradually see you doing it. Better opportunities & things will appear in your life. Keep your eyes and mind open for these opportunities the universe is sending and act on them for your good. If you want this you can do it. I wish I could help you.

Sadly too many times a death like that opens up the dysfunction that had been covered up for years due to the strength and love of that marriage. The in-laws of the deceased split and now the person left behind has to navigate life without their "rudder" and what once seemed so solid and strong sadly gets left alone by those who suddenly do not have the time to care.

that makes four of us. The therapists say to look at pictures. Don't they realize we can't because the pictures show our loved ones in a state they no longer are in, when they were warm and soft, laughing and smiling - which we WILL NEVER SEE THEM DO AGAIN? Looking at pictures is like a knife through the heart. These therapists! Seems they are directing our lives from a textbook!

Nor can I. And I lost my husband over 20 years ago. This all came back to me this past year with so much time on my hands with this shutdown, I began to remember, think, look at pictures and things I had saved from our marriage. Now I can't as you say look at any picture of him without tearing up. It is devastating.

@@kayjones6147 We can sure understand that. While it still brings that pain to the surface, I'm glad you saved his photos and things. I hope there will come a day we can look at our loved ones pictures and feel good, not wrecked.

Jesus loves you! Let Him be your support group. Please allow me to share my best friend's story with you. This family knows where to turn in times of grief. Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ****************************** This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless! Tribute to Ethan Lakey kzbin.info/www/bejne/e5nSk5aHj5uEmJo

And as your Mom, this video helped me a lot!!!!!! Love you!

I feel your pain. You are so spot on!!

You are right- I lost my wife of 38 years and her family basically turned and drove away from me after the breakfast I had for them after the service. I was hurt and resentful-now though coming on 3 years w/o my wife and adjusting to life better-I could care less. You will have moments like you must have had all along-when it stops being so hurting is on each person`'s make up. But how sad to think nobody cares because too many through these years seem more to say to themselves "thank God it wasn't us" more than anything else.

​@@54GARYBOY yep. 'Thank God it wasn't them' is as far as their expenditure of energy towards those in grief will go. We, as a society, do not do well with death. We either run from those in grief or simply fail to empathize enough to stand in someone else's grief long enough to take a little bit of their burden into our heart; thus relieving the griever of just a little bit of that pain. It costs nothing, is character building and shows us someone cares enough to ease our burden, if only for a moment. These little moments, combined, can provide a good deal of healing to the sad and the dis-spirited. I find it kind of appalling how selfish and stingy people have become regarding showing concern, compassion and empathy for others in emotional pain. Many really do walk this journey called life alone. Of course there are exceptions. Of course there are lots of loving people out there who really do care about others. I hope you all, lucky enough to have that, appreciate the love and care shown you and hopefully let them know how grateful you are that their hearts were made big enough to hold you. I tend to think such generosity of spirit is contagious. G B, how fortunate you were to have shared your life together with your wife for 38 years. wow! You probably had your share of up and downs. But I hope that experience gave you a mind brimming with 38 years of wondrous memories there to keep your heart warm for the years that remain. You are three years from her passing. I am five from my precious son's. I have recently begun my third go-round of therapy. I think I could build a pathway to heaven with my tears. It still can feel like yesterday for many of us, eh? Thank you for reaching out.

@@elizabethwalton972 I so hope you have known some empathy, love and understanding in the time since you wrote. Support is so, so important. I send you mine for what it is worth.

@@moodylicious You're welcome and I wish you nothing but the best as you go through these tough times.

I am disabled and my Baby Girl died on Christmas day. That little chihuahua was my only companion for 8 years. I miss her so much.

I totally understand! When I lost my therapy dog to cancer I grieved so deeply I thought I would die. I prayed one afternoon for God to help me bear the pain as I was laying on my couch in tears. I felt two long arms reach through my body and give me a deep hug embrace me. It was the hug from my guardian Angel. From that day forward I was able to heal with the loss and cope. I still have a lock of his beautiful silky hair, his collar, and ashes. When I think of him now I can without going into a complete mess. God bless you for having a heart of gold. ♥️

only pet moms & dads know their deaths are as painful as a human. I am sorry for this terrible loss & fire.

you poor dear. My heart goes out to you. Here, "The Center For Complicated Grief" has placed a video and yet, it appears to be unattended. Not a single soul has reached out and offered a single word to you. I am afraid, my friend, this is the nature of the world. Everyone has their own families and stuff to deal with and feel it is on you to figure this out. It is a cold world. You are going through something terrible. I get the part where sometimes you feel like you are losing your mind. I think it would not take much, one day, to push me over the edge into insanity. It has gotten better and I don't think that as much anymore. You will get through this! You deserved a reply by someone of compassion or credentials that might have given you a life-line or word of encouragement. I invested a good amount of money on trained professionals in a couple years of counseling. It was more like: come in, sit down, start the one hour countdown clock where you or your insurance company are billed hundreds of dollars, talk and cry and spill your literal guts out and ding, the hour is up and you are politely dismissed, as soon as they have booked you for another costly session. I am afraid the confidence I once placed in professional grief therapists has gone. They don't care. They lack empathy. Maybe they had to learn detachment and how to keep a distance. I have learned, few people care. This is messy stuff. Others think this is your mess; our mess. Few understand deep grief. Many normal people, strong and healthy of mind, see death as a normal life event we must deal with and get over. Many people have their own timeframe of how long people should take to 'get over it'. It is a lonely walk. All I can say is read all you can. Watch every video you can. Hopefully somewhere something might help. Isn't that pitiful, though; that the world is such that this is what we face? Keep trying, open your mind to positivity and healing. In positivity, the Universe responds. I have seen it happen at times and it has felt wonderful and miraculous. But with depression and the depth of grief I have, it is hard to sustain a constant feeling of gratitude, abundance, & positivity. I don't know if you have moved on Blessed Nzewi or if you have had help that has gotten you to a better place. If I could, I would wave a magic wand and make your troubles disappear. For some of us, life is hard work. For others, it's an amazing journey of one good thing after another. I will keep you in my thoughts and ask for healing to be rained upon you. Sending loving, gentle peace from, a friend you never met.

I think you could be the best friend anyone could ever ask for, so wise and caring, you would make a great councillor, you could help a lot of people, you’re words are heart wrenching and full of compassion, you’re an amazing person and glad I got to meet you on this site.

@@jacquelinestewart3820 I just saw this having stopped in to check on all of us, especially you, Jackie, knowing Danielle passed away on November 13. I am so glad I did for I just saw what you wrote. I would be honored to have you as a friend, as you are an amazing and beautiful, compassionate & caring person. I will be honoring your Danielle this year as you pass through this special time of remembrance. She had to have been lovely having such a mom as you. Through this loss, I am learning your girl & my boy carried heavier burdens than we were capable of helping them with. Let us all try to find peace knowing our loved ones are free of their burdens. love to you!

Nine Angels I agree. Nature is a Big part of healing.

I lost my mom at the beginning of the pandemic. The next day the governor shut down the state. 8 months following, we lost our beloved beloved cat. I’m lost.

@@JennyWren333 I am SO sorry. This worldwide pandemic has left terrible trauma all over. Grieving the deaths of our loved ones, beloved pets included, in isolation seems to amplify our inner mind & all the swirling thoughts inside. Pets give us warmth & affection and I hope you were able to take a new one into your life. I am not even taking care of myself & do not feel capable of caring for a pet. Cats, while more independent, still require upkeep, but you could do it. Your mom is with you. I hope you have been able to perceive the signs (she is sending you) which show that.

@@moodylicious thank you for your kindness. I could never take in another animal. The closeness I have with then is too deep to bear losing another. I honor what you wrote…I don’t see or feel signs from Mom. There’s another story there but no, no signs. I look for signs from my baby though. Sometimes I feel the sheets move at night, like little footsteps are once again signaling “JoJo is here”. I hug 🤗 you, Moodylicious.

@@JennyWren333 How beautiful! I understand. I believe JoJo is still here comforting you. Loving can be excruciating when that one we loved so much is gone. I don'[t know if I wrote this before, but ten yrs before my son died I lost my mom, my brother and my dog w/i 6 months of each other. Mom was very ill and very old. My brother while still relatively young, was gravely ill. Chelsea had cancer, was suffering, and died from it. My Chelsea's death hurt more than the deaths of mom and bro. I called Chelsea my "doggie-daughter". I won't even begin to list the reasons why a pet's death would be more painful than humans. Any pet parent knows all the reasons why. PS: I get the "there's another story there" regarding your mom. I offer my warm hug in return and hope maybe one day a lonely fur baby finds their forever home with you.

Thank you for that, Max. They keep referring to people as “them”. But one person has an easy grief for one loved one and is devastated by the other-that is life. I disagree with you a bit, the manic depressive-like state for me was the first few weeks. But I think Freud was right about searching for the attachment and grief not resolving until each stone overturned is a confirmation that the loved one is not there.

No..never getting over it,, my only lil sister fell over dead 5/27/21,, I can’t get past this😭😭😭😭😭😭 Had a hubby get killed in 1980 I was 22 n pregnant,,, I still grieve for him😭😭😭😭💔

Um, do you know where you are and what site you're on...?

would your job know about that without your consent ?

6 years here

18 years for me.

So long to go through so much pain I can’t imagine doing all those years so sorry for your pain and suffering 🙏🙏🙏

Thirteen years for me.

Hmmm....I HIGHLY doubt that prednisone is the root of your woes. Did you ever stop to consider that you, yourself, are the ISSUE? "Everyone bailed on me." Nice group of friends. You must have a talent for friendship.

Heidi Medel I am sorry for the loss and pain you have experienced. Please check out grief share.org. It’s important to find like minded people who are also going through grief like yourself. You need family and support! God is with you, put your hope and trust in Him, May he give you comfort, peace and hope! Sending you prayers!

How did you recover in the end?

@@maxalberts85 it's interesting you say that because my ex who broke my spine from top to bottom trying to murder me said the same thing almost verbatim. You sound like a real mentally stable and compassion human being. It must suck to be that miserable and useless to others. 🤷‍♀️ If you were any good at reading and listening; you would have seen that I said the Prednisone helped. Not that it was the root. Words. They have meanings. I know. Weird.

@Joanne Nascimento it took a major dietary and lifestyle overhaul. I became my own herbalist and holistic nutritionist. It was many things combined and not just one thing/method. And I also went no contact with the family members who are toxic about 9 years ago, relocated to a state where I could start over, and got myself into EMDR, DBT, years of talk therapy. I had a lot of DIBIs (rx drug induced brain injuries) that made my mental health spiral that I've had to address.

My father was murdered in 1996 and I have never gotten over his death. We lived in different countries so it complicated everything even more and it seemed easier to deny. I also feel rage and negativity and even though I am a therapist I somehow failed to help myself to “get over”....

GET HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@@2brunhilda Crying over the death of your mother? It's painful but it's also healing. It strongly suggests that you had a beautiful bond with her that has been broken by death. I've read another comment you've written on this post and it seems to me you're brave, intelligent, compassionate and real. Those are strengths to call on when/if you're ever ready to do so. Hang in there. The day my mom died I ran screaming out into the street, in mid-February, in Minnesota, barefoot and wearing nothing but a bathrobe. The police had to come. I wax sixty three years old. I'm also in AA and I also go to Al-Anon. A good Al-Anon group is a priceless treasure.

You might try reading a book called Healing Ancestral Karma by Dr Steven Farmer. You can also download it on Audible. This book helped me tons after I lost my brother suddenly. Our relationship was complicated and I had some unresolved issues after his passing.

You guys who've lost someone to murder? I don't know how I could live with the rage & bitterness I would feel!

So why not take the gas pipe? You're still alive. Is your own precious life so meaningless to you that you let it be defined by loss? Um...does the term codependency ring a bell or strike a nerve?

@@2brunhilda Absolutely. Please see my rather more harsh reponse just below yours.

@@maxalberts85 What a horrible, toxic, judgemental and shaming response to someone in pain. Not helpful, and beyond insensitive, did you even watch the video?? Here's to hoping you are NOT a therapist yourself, though I'm sure the malpractice lawsuits would end that career for you soon enough.

CHEL HELLurr oh..so sorry, what happened?

Same here. Still very raw. Rivers of tears + longing. Its so disorienting

Sending love. Thirteen years for me.

Susan Kennedy I’m one of the lucky ones, I live in the uk and we have the amazing nhs! Our country has lots of faults but they got something right when they started the nhs xx

There are free grief groups all over the country (if you're in the U.S.) Just call 211 and find one in your area. Also, I have to wonder out loud--have you no friends? No support system outside the therapeutic environment? Because your statement is, on its face, quite bizarre. If I may extrapolate from that single sentence, I'll bet you've A LOT more going on than grief, complicated or otherwise. In other words, you have issues.

@@maxalberts85 how does the idea of money equate to this dude having issues?