Anger covers hurt.

Large egos with a larger inferiority complex. He’s become a drunken failure using people.

I blocked him for a week. He called my sister. He was very nice open intimate for two days. He lied sex with another not telling me. Lying. When I am told one thing and feel another it doesn’t work. I have epileptic seizures

Thanks so much for all your great information! It is much appreciated. I just had a run in with the hyjackal in my life.

So sorry to read the sad news in the comments about Dr. Shaler's passing. I was just checking in to catch up on videos I missed and thought it was strange she hadn't posted for many months. What an incredible person, she shared such valueable insights with us. Missing her ❤

2:34 chronic stress causes your brain to literally shrink 😢. Guard yourself from toxic people, toxic relationships

I really appreciate your videos. I just got divorced because I did things like this without realizing I have a problem. I thought I was just defending myself but I was really blame shifting. I did a lot of Narcissistic things without realizing it and it really affected our marriage. I feel terrible for my now ex wife and wish I could go back and fix things. It’s far too late but I have been doing everything I can to evolve and change for the future. I need to forgive my self but first I need to educate my self to make sure I actually do change and this never happens again.

My husband has known this woman. That he calls Mom (9yrs age difference) and I'm his 3rd wife. Found out after 20+ yrs he is 100% emotionally invested in this woman, she knows anything an everything in my husbands an my life. Intimate things. Things that I have tried so many times over the course of our marriage to try and talk an resolve our issues. Unfortunately it was always a one sided conversation...me . All I would ever get out of him would be 3 things.....it's not u it's me ,or I dnt know what to say, or I dnt remember. He claims he isn't doing anything wrong? This woman wants him to call her from his job phone now an not when he is home? HELP

Exactly what I needed to hear, thank you for trying to teach us until your last breath. RIP.

All so very true. But I think she was mostly referring to not just narcissistic children but also sociopath/narcissists. Sadly, I believe that sociopathy is a global phenomenon and very common among men especially, and well hidden and denied in most women. Especially those women (and men) who are attracted to them ( the vain, the bad boys and the Peter Pans ). Just judging by how most people drive, and by how they vote for narcissistic sociopaths, and how they have no empathy for victims of wars and aggression, it is obvious to me that humanity is plagued with hidden sociopathy. This is why we have always had religions and strict civil rules, laws and law enforcement.

Thank you so much. This was extremely helpful. ❤

The SMIRK!!!!! YES!!!!!!!! I am so grateful to hear you talk about this.

❤lady. I found you. A couple months ago..... I 😢 never got a Chance to twll you how you have Enriched me.... You Continue to free me... I talk to god asking him to thank you..... My love thank you thank you.❤❤❤❤I love love love you..... God bless. ❤❤❤❤

Being with a covert narcissist for 20 years has been the most soul destroying frustrating and insane experiences of my life, and I'm quite old at 75. Never met anyone human who seems void of genuine emotions as regards love and intimacy. They may mumble ' luv view' or show occasional hints of affection but it feels an act mostly ( cognitive empathy) I think it's called. The self empathy faculty does seem switched on however because it's woe is me if their not Validated and seen and heard. Naturally it damages your self esteem, leaving you jumping through flaming hoops to try to get some sign of interest/ affection or genuine concern for you or your thoughts, feelings and needs.I guess that's the purpose ie. make you chase,serve and give all your time and energy to them. I know everyone has self interest but true narcissism is extremely damaging to those close to them. It's taken me years to begin to realise I've not been dealing with a normal human and it's freaky .I've noticed an insidious aspect where they seem to actually enjoy seeing you suffer, pushing your known buttons to elicit a reaction then accuse you of being angry or crazy. They should teach this in schools as vital preparation for going out into the world. Thanks for your video, it's so true. ❤

This was terrific content! 👏 👏👏🇬🇧

Very good information and thank you for the video. I just ended a friendship with a coworker not out of want but I need someone who cares about what’s going on in my life in my life. I know is she’s not a narcissist even though we both admit to having narcissistic tendencies as everyone does. I believe she is a good person I just had to step aside for my own mental health. I felt used for attention, and validation for her feelings, but when I speak she jumps it back to her and never asked any questions and really is not trying to get to know me. I feel bad about ending it but it had to be done.

Thank you! ❤

Its usually money that keeps you stuck . They pay a few bills or help a little , This is why a lot of woman live in misery ,If he goes and you are nothing special ,you will fall into poverty. And there are very few jobs now .Its all about money.

Step 1. Stop giving them economically. Step 2. Refocus effort elsewhere.

This has been extremely helpful. I felt so guilty and full of shame because my son raged, put me down and systematically destroyed my confidence. I had a successful career, friends and traveled. I’m just pulling myself out of depression and isolation

Fantastic! Heartbreaking, but fantastic information! Thank you for sharing your knowledge and all that you do. I am very grateful. ❤

Fantastic

How can I donate?

Yes. They can't take it at ALL, but they don't mind being mean and nasty to YOU. Anytime someone is disrespectful,. simply remove yourself. It doesn't matter if you have to walk home or call an Uber or Lyft. . Immediately get up and leave. Let them figure it out.

I’m so thankful for this video and all the comments I’ve read. Very helpful in helping me realize that it’s not just me.

Of the many severe issues my son has, the constant and insidious externalization of blame - his abject refusal to EVER accept responsibility for his actions- is the most difficult for me.

In 1990s I was separated from my ex-3:56 husband he sent me a picture of myself pregnant with my 2nd baby he wrote across it Hoar... When we were married he could not perform sexually he blamed me saying that I cheated on him with my boss and he knows. I never ever cheated on him. But I realized then that he was cheating on me..he lied...everything in his thinking I was at fault.

I taught my kids choices and consquences... their father was a narisstist

Kinda like Trump..and project 2025. We can't let him back in office.

There is no such thing as love.

I wasnt even told my mom was gonna divorce my dad. All i knew was thatbwhen i was 4.5 i started to live with my mother. My dad wasnt in the picture and we moved from San Bernardino,CA. To a town upstate named Marina,CA. My mom decided to move 400 miles from my dad who i later found out remarried when i was 6 years of age. My childhood years werent easy i felt off and out of place. Everyday felt like a struggle and still at 37 i find myself getting through each and everyday. Id say more about my life especially the early childhood trauma event that later led to my parents divorce. It wasn't my fault. Judge me but before you do have you lived my life.

So true

"They need the power more than the connection. " 💯

I miss her so much 💛

I even heard from someone that it's okay to lie as long as it's not about cheating or another guy. I didn't agree with that.

True

I agreed what they say or do, and also what they DON’T say or do and should?? Deduce logically

They are so thin skinned. They assign meaning to things that aren't based in reality. They don't mind being mean and nasty to YOU,.......BUT they will be quick to shut you down if you respond in kind to them or even just want to vulnerably share how they hurt you. The relationship with them is one huge double standard. They expect you to put up with their bs with ZERO pushback but you standing up for yourself, however tactfully, is met with abuse and manipulation, not the least of which is accusing you of the things they are doing and throwing insults at you to shut you down. They don't care HOW low they have to stoop, they have to WIN. The entire relationship is riddled with disrespect and keeping you in the one down position at all times..

I so regret the passing of Dr. Shaler, she was an inspiration to many, and gave so much of herself to all of us.

Thank you for helping us. You helped me leave my abuse and I'm in a peaceful place now❤

My husband just did the silent treatment for over a month..I carried on like he wasn't even there. Now he wants to talk. He did understand he was just preparing me to be without him. He only talks again when he wants sex...

The word to describe it all is agony, if we let it. Its a sign of these sick times. Having had three sons, that lied about me to all they knew. I was a mom who gave nothing but love and all else i could, while i saw people who neglected and or abused got all the love and devotion from their kids. I see now, it was not myself or my husband, which made it easier to accept and get back to our lives.Had to stop trying to show other family and friends who were lied to who we were

Another thing and I don’t think she covered this, is that narcissists can’t be told they are narcissistic, or that they need help. That is a trigger for them. Also, for the narcissist, they need to get more of something, ie larger piece of cake, to feel ok. They need to be first in line. I’m sure there are more like this if anyone can share their experiences?

Thank you ❤

My 32 year old daughter, has just informed me, she’s in therapy because I’ve caused her to be unable to have healthy relationships? She said she did not have safety as a young child (untrue) me and her dad split up when she was two, and yes it was very fractious, but I’m guessing if anything, I overcompensated for this? So maybe it is my fault? 😢 however, she’s very competitive with me, never allows or listens to my opinions? Or calls me delusional, and NOW I’m getting all kinds of guilt thrown at me and no contact? I’m very confused, the hurt for me is, she’s so resentful? I did my best, and it obviously wasn’t good enough? I’m that upset I can’t actually speak atm? Sorry for the ramble, I’ve no one to talk to either. 🖐🏻🇬🇧

Thank you for explaining this situation so well.

You saved my life Roberta! I wish I had reached out to you personally! God bless Miss Roberta shaler. I ran, I’m hiding. NO CONTACT!

You mention that liars will not look at you.. well, actually liars will actually stare intensely in your eyes, often the whites showing all around the iris, and not blink. Have you heard of the Narc stare?

The narcs sister told me how their father treated them as kids. I would never have guessed, their dad being an MD and supposedly a pillar of society.