You're under satans law just to let you know! Maybe you're not a child of God then; not everyone is... It's in the blood. You could still change but your blaming God instead of humbling yourself in humility. Confess your sins and repent. It's not just words it has to be true. You obviously don't love God or his only begotten son and that's why your suffering. It's called being cleansed by fire and your supposed to rejoice in it not get mad at and hate God for it. He's just answering your prayers and you're turning and cursing him for it. To suffer for him is the highest honor and you should be praising him for it. If you can open your heart to this your sin n flesh WILL die and you WILL be reborn in your true identity! It's the promise of JESUS CHRIST of Nazareth and no one comes to the father but through him. Fall on your knees and praise him all day everyday. He wants an intimate relationship with you and your running from it. I'm compelled to speak this because I was you. I was you for a long time! The devil will take you further than you want to go and keep you longer than you want to be kept. I command all demonic strongholds on your life to be broken NOW in the name of JESUS CHRIST of Nazareth our Lord and Saviour! He is your master now! Let it go! Lay it on the altar and you WILL be set free! Get behind thee satan, JESUS CHRIST rebuke thee! Resist him and he WILL flee! Child it isn't God who manipulated you! It's your time to die to self! You have to focus on CHRIST and CHRIST alone!!!!!!! I pray the eyes of your heart are opened and the scales fall from your eyes as has recently happened for me! Erase your comment and get it out! The Lord IS with you even though you think not! He will never leave you nor forsake you. Trust with all your heart and depend not on your own understanding! satan is the master of deception! God does not deceive! You're being selfish and you have to die to self! That's why you are open to demonic attack. DO NOT TAKE ANY OF THIS THE WRONG WAY! I'm trying to help you and these are not my words! They are from Holy Spirit in me! Be reborn now and lay down to sleep. You will feel better when you wake and don't forget to thank him every morning. Pray for him to guide your dreams and guide your path until you walk in his path! God bless you in JESUS name Amen!

Where are you? Not exact location but round about? You CAN be helped and there are plenty of people willing to help you. I will locate the help you are looking for if you are willing to accept it and it's not me deciding to it's God just to let you know. All you ever had to do was reach out like you just did. We are his helping hands and his feet on the ground.

@ I am in London. God would help me if he wanted. Instead he leaves me in distress, suicidal with no safety after he gave me confirmation over THREE times that he would come through for me. I needed him. I put all my trust in him, and he did not act. There are horrible, horrible, tragic things God planned for me to go through that I will never forgive him for. I see him as nothing more than an evil abuser. He is willing to deceive his children in order to fulfil his will. It’s wrong. So wrong. He has broken me completely. I feel I will never see justice, if I do it will be too late for my heart to receive it gladly. I am torn inside all because of what God did to me. He abuses me for his will and withholds love from me when I need it. He has a side to him that he reserves for only his closest children to see. I’ve seen it. And I hate him for what he has done to me.

@skyxsteele I've been through horrible things as well. Things I won't go into on here because of the level of evil was inflicted on me but I made it to my breakthrough finally. I'll be 37 in a couple weeks. It took 7 years of seeking him and still receiving torment while doing so. I quit blaming him and cursing him and finally understood what I had to go through to receive. I wouldn't change a thing that happened to me because I would not be saved today if I hadn't. I've attempted suicide; I've flatlined and crossed over 3 different times from overdoses. Only once was accidental. I've been deliberately poisoned by evil people. I have permanent brain damage and seizure disorder now and I still would not undo any of it. I just received breakthrough not long ago! You will make it and you are stronger than you realize. The only regret I have is blaming God for what I went through. He is working harder for you than you can comprehend! That's why your still here. You are a child of God now it's obvious. Haven't you seen others die from way less than what you've already made it through? He will not let you die until you reach your breakthrough! When you do you will be your true self and it's amazing. You don't want to give up! Not when you're almost there! I will continue to pray for you if that's ok! I'm in the U.S. and never been to London or I would locate resources for you. Just don't give up please and take my word for it; it is NOT God doing this to you. I KNOW it's not now! Like I said I WAS you. I blamed him too and now I know I was so wrong. This is what the devil does and he is the master at it. You have to go even harder for JESUS CHRIST! Pick up his cross and walk in his way! Follow his commandments and do not let ANYTHING make you think otherwise! Even if it's for the rest of your days here you have to rejoice and praise him on high. When you're at your lowest Hallelujah and praise harder. You WILL be blessed! In JESUS CHRIST of Nazareth name I pray for your deliverance and your breakthrough come soon. You are not alone... This life here is nothing. What to come is all that matters. God give you strength Amen!

@ thank you for sharing a part of your story, it’s much appreciated. I’ve forgiven every person for what they did to me. But I cannot bring myself to forgive God. He did do this to me. He didn’t need to give me confirmation again and again to get me to trust in him only to let me down. I know there is probably a good reason for this but I don’t feel it. The feeling of being used and betrayed again by him is what I feel. When God gave me the promise of my kingdom spouse, a partner I had been with for years, I was overjoyed. He prepared me for months in isolation to meet him again. He even gave me the message ‘my gift to you’. Except when he came back, he was the most egotistical, selfish, cruel person I have ever seen. He relentlessly caused me to suffer, until I tried to take my life. God made me think I was receiving that promise then, and it led me to try to take my life. I never forgave God. He has ordained me to marry the person who did this to me. Who abused me for years. Because he loves me. It’s hard to see God’s actions as any different than abuse, because it’s what I’ve experienced my whole life. I said to God, good intentions don’t change the fact that it’s abuse. He confirmed to me that he really listened to this. I’m so glad you have received your breakthrough, congratulations. It can be such a hard journey to receive. I’ve been waiting almost 4 years, and it should be any day now. I just can’t bring myself to trust in God anymore. He has broken me too much that I feel no blessing could take away this pain. God works everything according to His will. The bible says this. Even the things the devil does, it has to be ordained by God first. God knows that I know he did this to me. He betrayed his loyal and faithful child yet again like it meant nothing to him. Nothing. How you could do this to a child is beyond me, he knows my heart and mind are very young, it’s because of trauma. I see him as nothing more than an abuser. I would very much appreciate prayers, but I doubt he will answer any of them. All he wants me to go through now is suffering. I’ve suffered enough. I was in the presence of the devil for close to a month as part of my testing. He left me traumatised for years, it was the second time I felt betrayed by God. I had begged him for my family (he is my family) and instead, he left me to fend for myself alone, against the devil. It was incredibly traumatic. Anything I say, if you don’t believe, please ask the father. He should confirm it all. I’m so sorry to hear your experiences, they would cause anyone to doubt their faith, so I’m sure God is pleased with you. I don’t feel like family to God anymore, I feel like his slave. Why would any good father want their devoted child to feel like a slave to them? I cannot believe he loves me