I'm half out. My mom knows, my dad doesn't.

My mother is the only parent I have left and we have always had this very open communication, so she did the whole serious questions thing when I told her. Within a few days, she called me up all excited, wanting to make us a pineapple wreath for our door. I had no idea what she was talking about, so she explained what she'd just learned on daytime TV. We laughed and I'm still waiting on my danged wreath. On the serious end, she has met my boyfriend a few times and they're Facebook friends now. My husband hasn't met his other person yet, but we're going out dancing to try to meet someone (He's having no luck from his recliner for some reason. 🤷) We're new to this and more kind of parallel. We won't be sharing boyfriends but we're hoping to be able to be one big family. I had told him I thought it might work out better if I had a friend or my boyfriend with us, so I didn't get all introverted and cling to him the whole night. He actually suggested I invite my friend, my boyfriend AND my mother. He was NOT being sarcastic, y'all! 💓I thought that might seem weird to people, but now I kinda want to do it. This time out is just going to be him, my platonic friend and myself, but who knows what the future holds.

How open are you about being polyamorous?

Do you need security in your first relationship before starting another?

Very nice video. Your joy and comfort with each other is just charming.

Very relatable!! I think as a female coming out most parents react similarly to yours. I had a positive reaction up front but as the questions started being asked I realized that were worried, confused and trying to protect me. Also just trying to show them its not what they think it is and a second partner is more life joy even with the extra work. Hope it goes well as you move forward Tara and Andre 😊

Have you opened up about being poly with family?

Yes for sure. It's a very new concept for most people and they don't really understand. That's why it's important to try to be open and honest about it and hopefully people will learn instead of judging 🤞

Have you felt judged for being non-monogamous?

I had a jealousy issue come up with a metamour when I was very briefly dating a girl a few months back. This girl and I were about to try a new form of intimacy. Her partner said NO because he didn’t like the way that it made him feel. YIKES! DEAL BREAKER! My relationship with her is about ME, not about HIM. It’s MY relationship, not HIS, and HE doesn’t get a say in it! Whatever she and I end up doing together is none of his business, provided that it’s safe. Which it was safe. It wasn’t unprotected sex, or anything potentially unsafe. He simply felt jealous because he felt like she may have found me more attractive than him. He doesn’t get to pick and choose what is and isn’t allowed based on HIS emotional needs. Because it’s NOT HIS relationship, it’s MINE, therefore MY emotional needs matter, NOT HIS.

Do you get jealous when your partner goes on a date?

I had a jealousy issue come up with a metamour when I was very briefly dating a girl that turned out to be in a toxic, patriarchal polycule. She and I were going to try something new (new for her, not for me). Her partner said NO, because he didn't like the way that it made him feel. YIKES! That ended the relationship. No metamour gets to tell me what is and isn't allowed, based on what HE feels comfortable with. It's MY relationship, not HIS, and he doesn't get to step in on the basis of HIS emotional needs. What I wanted to do with the girl literally didn't affect him directly in any way. It was none of his business. If it affects him emotionally, that's his issue. It wasn't like unprotected sex or anything that could spread disease. He simply felt jealous. It was all about patriarchal control. But the problem was not that he said NO. The problem was that he had the power to do intervene the first place. If he had said YES, that would still have been just as bad. I don't want to have the experience I want with my girl because a metamour approves of it. I want to experience what I want with my girl because it was none of the metamour's business in the first place. A relationship in which another man is placed above me, was not the kind of relationship I wanted to have with her. It's not the kind of relationship I want to have with anyone, but especially not someone I really like. DEAL BREAKER. Saying NO to me because ANOTHER MAN convinced you to say no to me is never ok. It means the relationship is over, and never should have even started in the first place.

I had a polyamorous girl (whom I was very briefly dating) and her primary partner make a new rule specifically for me. They agreed that she was not allowed to do thigs with other guys that she doesn't do with him. She was about to try a new form of intimacy with me that she was not comfortable doing with anyone else including her primary. Her primary said NO because he didn't like the way that it made him feel. It made him feel jealous. DEAL BREAKER!!! Toxic, patriarchal polycules are THE WORST! Nobody FUCKING gets to tell me what I can and can't do with my baby, ESPECIALLY not another guy.

Share a tip you have for dealing with jealousy!

How do you manage jealousy when it comes?

I had a polyamorous girl that dated me briefly and completely fucked me over. She revealed to me AFTER I had already fallen for her that she had a veto rule in place, and her main partner got to tell me the following: 1. "You can have my girl, but I get to tell you what is and isn't allowed." 2. "You can't have what I can't have." FUCK YOU!!! The situation was, this girl and I were about to try a new form of intimacy. Her main partner said NO because he didn't like the way that it made him feel (given that she did not let him do this with her). IT'S NONE OF HIS FUCKING BUSINESS!!! It's MY relationship, not HIS!!! He's not a part of it! What I do with her does not affect him directly. It's not something that can spread disease. It's not like unprotected sex. If he's exercising veto power because he doesn't like the way it makes him feel, or because it makes him feel jealous, then that's purely about control. If she's going to say NO to me because she's not comfortable with said form of intimacy, that's fine. I could still do it with someone else. But if it's because ANOTHER GUY convinced her to say NO to me, that's a deal breaker, because that means I'm being treated as a second-class citizen.

Me at 8 years old: Mommy, my friends at school say it's bad that I have a crush on two boys. Why? My mom: You're just too young to understand what love is Me, an autistic, taking her words literally and as truth: I will magically know monogamous love once I'm an adult I was in for a rude awakening and so was my mom. Go figure 😂 Seriously, though, as a kid, this was extremely invalidating after I was bullied at school for loving differently. It actually caused me to avoid dating until I got to college, waiting for me to magically understand, and when I didn't, I caved into monogamy, thinking maybe I just needed to experience it to understand. I wish someone had told me as a kid that it's okay to be polyamorous. My life would've been so different.

100% on everything you said Jenn!

When did you begin thinking about non-monogamy?

Keep your code and avoid backlash

Does being polyamorous mean I'm obsessed with sex? No. But I happen to be and make no apologies for it!🤣 I find it's a risky business when the poly community tries to hard to "dispel the misconceptions" around this. Yes, it's true that polyamory isn't all about sex and for some is not about it at all, but at the same time it can very easily descend into toxic "respectability politics" when we try to hard to downplay that aspect in order to try to win mainstream respectability. The fact is sex is a primary motivator for many of us in non-monogamy, and we shouldn't have to soft pedal that. Many of us are both poly and swingers. It's also true that if poly were only an "excuse" for finding more sexual partners, there are far easier ways to do that. With our poly partners, there is a very heavy investment of time, emotional and other resources.

How do you build your polyamorous community?

How much detail do you share with your partners?

I wish this was less common (the assumption that we're hyper-sexual). I've faced it a lot over the years when people find out I'm non-monogamous and some of my partners shared their experiences with that too. One that comes up a lot is a byproduct of the already problematic attitudes that come out misogyny and patriarchal society, leading women to often only have a "no" accepted when there's a husband or boyfriend in the statement. I mean that I say, "No thank you," and dude presses, but if I'd said, "No, I've got a boyfriend, thanks," it would have more chance of being taken seriously. Aside from the fact that the whole thing is problematic, non-monogamous people are assumed to be always available and always wanting sex. It means that if they thought, "Oh, she's got a boyfriend," they won't see that as a barrier anymore and they also assume we're just sex machines because god forbid we might have agency, our own desires, and our own tastes. One of my partners actually got, "But you're poly," as a confused response to being turned down by a guy multiple times. So creepy.

I briefly dated a polyamorous girl that started out amazing and ended in disaster. I had never felt that level of chemistry with anyone else. She and I were planning on trying out a new (for her, not for me) form of intimacy during the next meeting. However, I had veto power exercised against me. Her partner said NO because he didn't like the way that it made him feel if she was doing something with me that she doesn't do with him. HELL NO. FUCK THAT. SHOVE YOUR PATRIARCHY UP YOUR ASS. Nobody fucking gets to tell me what I can and can't do with my baby, especially not another guy. I literally had another guy tell me, "you can have my woman, but I get to tell you what is and is not allowed." FUCK YOU!!!

For the record, I am also a facilitator.

I guess I hope to hear more from you both. I have friends all over the spectrum. I would love to chat and/or talk with you both over the phone. I am attracted to you both. Can we chat sometime?

Frankly, I have kind of been shopping around....I wonder now is this THE community I have been hoping for?!? It may legitimately be so.

I wish to disclose here. I am a traditionally straight male. I am very open to bi play. I could never be just gay because I love women too much, but guys like your man can be attractive to me. I really just want to break out and play in open settings...and perhaps I could go on from there, but I love how so many women are sexually liberated lately and I want to fulfill their fantasies with liberating men into bi-sexuality.

Yeah, well I found you here with this video. I am watching more. And the more and more I see....I have to meet you.

What is your favourite part of being non-monogamous?

How do you build your non-monogamous community?

Thank you. You are starting a great channel. Lower views than you deserve. They will come :)

Are you interested in going to a swingers party?

Why do you think non-monogamy can create greater intimacy in relationships?

Too bad you are deleting uncomfortable questions from people who are interested in this lifestyle. These weren't inappropriate, but more real/down to earth andI think more pragmatic.

Man your real women, Don't know what you want?

Can you love more than 1 person intimately?

Small. My polycule is super small. Just me dating three guys.

Wow! Have fun. Thanks for the video.

Thanks for sharing your story.

I love hearing the excitement about the lifestyle in her voice.

How big is your polycule??

How do you talk about other dates with your partners?

In life sometimes things need to experiment with you move apart with the same thing day in day out good luck with your move 🎉🎉❤

That's how it should be, if you're going to practice polyamory. Otherwise just be monogamous. I had an experience with a polyamorous girl that I had to go therapy for. She turned out to be practicing hierarchical polyamory. I had veto power exercised against me. She told me she had to say "no" to experimenting with a certain form of intimacy with me because her partner didn't like the way that it made him feel. DEAL BREAKER. Absolutely nobody FUCKING tells me what I can and can't do with my baby. I won't be with a woman that is willing to hurt my feelings to protect another man's feelings. I won't be a subject of another man's patriarchy within an intimate relationship. Toxic, patriarchal polycules are THE WORST.

I really like how you two communicate ❤ well done 👏

Are there rules in your relationships?

Yep. And that's one of the reasons I don't want children. Being prioritized is very important to me. If I had children, I would be receiving much less love from my woman than I did prior to having children.

Weird