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@bashiruddinahmad408 8 сағат бұрын
35 months for me no sex..no kiss in at least a year and a half..its over for us..even in good times it was always one time a month..and most of that time we went to a motel..we would have sex at night and in the morning..i can count on two hands how many times we had sex at home in 5 years 9 months.. brutal
@elguapo7754 19 сағат бұрын
Don't talk nonsense. A woman refusing sex is an expression of the highest contempt. In 90% of cases, NOTHING can be done. You have to have respect for yourself and leave, and not try to please someone who treats you like an ATM, and thinks that you won't leave anyway because she's doing you a favor by being with you. You have to correct them. All this good advice from women should be thrown down the toilet and flushed. Women pay men with sex for commitment. And if they see that they get it for free, why would they do it, especially since they married him "out of convenience" and he never attracted them sexually, at most he didn't disgust them and she could do it with her eyes closed. That's why there are no problems before marriage - because you have to put cheese in a mouse trap. After marriage, when she gets a child and a house in the suburbs, she only needs you as a slave. And you don't sleep with slaves, you exploit them.
@judyroberts4608 4 күн бұрын
She then goes on to attachment disorders . Please only see a psychologist for these issues .
@judyroberts4608 4 күн бұрын
There are lots of psychologists who specialise in relationship counselling . You refer to Gottman therapy this stems from psychology . A psychologist is a trained professional and if they specialise in relationships . They are the most experienced.
@DrLisaMarieBobby 3 күн бұрын
Hey @judyroberts4608! Thank you so much for watching, and for joining the conversation! I love how we share the same passion for helping people interested in working on themselves through therapy ensure they get connected with the right kind of helping professional. That said, you may or may not know this about me, but I am both a licensed psychologist AND a licensed marriage and family therapist. Yes, two totally separate degrees, two separate clinical supervision experiences, two separate licensure exams, all the things! What I learned through this experience: Without substantial post-graduate education, training, and experience, your typical licensed psychologist will not have nearly the amount of training, expertise or frankly success rates when it comes to relational dynamics (including attachment), As a clinical psychologist, I was primarily trained to diagnose and treat clinical mental health conditions and conduct psychological assessments. If this were my only degree / licensure, I can assure you I would NOT be qualified to provide highly effective couples and family therapy. AND (here's the important part Judy) I would also not know that I was not qualified!! It's literally only because I have had the experience of going through a totally different degree program centered on marriage and family therapy, and then spent years in supervision with a mentor who specialized in marriage and family therapy that I know what I know. And I WOULDN'T know what I didn't know without that. This is true for many helping professionals. I care very much about helping consumers make informed choices about what kind of therapist to work with, which is why I put together these resources: How to Find a Good Therapist (www.growingself.com/find-a-therapist/) and Why Evidence Based Therapy Matters (www.growingself.com/evidence-based-practice/) Additionally, Judy, are you a therapist?? If so, did you know that I have launched a companion podcast and youtube channel, "Love, Happiness, and Success FOR THERAPISTS?" I sincerely hope that you connect with me there, because every week I'm releasing new content that's all about supporting both the personal and professional growth of therapists and if you're in the biz I think you'll find it valuable. www.youtube.com/@YourGrowingSelf Thank you again Judy!! Wishing you all the best, Lisa
@blueyeguync 5 күн бұрын
I can get snippy when my girl is just trying to be helpful. I take it as too helpful sometimes. She doesn’t deserve snippy! Great message today. Thank you
@DrLisaMarieBobby 4 күн бұрын
So glad to hear this was helpful to you @blueyeguync. Thank you for being part of this amazing community of growth minded people! xoxo
@terrencegrant3344 6 күн бұрын
My wife said that I have to take her to a five star hotel and court her over.
@DrLisaMarieBobby 4 күн бұрын
Oh my goodness! Let me know how that goes...
@terrencegrant3344 6 күн бұрын
Just go to work. Pay the bills and create your own happiness.
@brianbarrett192 6 күн бұрын
Both of us have anxiety! Sometimes, it seems like words get in the way. I think we like each other (I am actually quite quite smitten and hopeful!). But "chemistry" seems to be lacking. We are both somewhat reserved, other than talking. I have an idea for a 3rd date: doing something where we do not talk! We can communicate in other ways; looking at each other and expressing, touching, laughing. This is experimental. I have not been able to find any info on this idea anywhere on the internet. I think it could be fun and maybe cause a breakthrough, with low expectations of course. What do you think about this idea?
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 күн бұрын
I think this is an interesting idea and if you are both comfortable with trying it out, I'd love to hear how it goes for you!
@covidvente7763 6 күн бұрын
Thank you... actually I'm a situation of difficult to get over for my ex...😢
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 күн бұрын
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this - and I've got great resources to support you with this. Let me know what you think! All the best, Lisa xx www.growingself.com/the-healing-after-heartbreak-collection/
@cheerychinchilla 6 күн бұрын
03:48 Blaming your partner for ALL the problems 05:40 Neglecting your partner 09:30 Being consistently defensive or avoidant 11:45 Your Q's 43:17 Seeking fusion (e.g. you want that fusion, that you're included in all the things your partner does) 47:11 What will destroy a relationship? / More Q&A 01:00:22 Closing & next week's topic is "Building friendships in adulthood" Love the new podcast cover!
@kerrischolten7631 2 күн бұрын
Agree
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 күн бұрын
Thank you so much! xx
@CraniacStudios 10 күн бұрын
Thank you for this. My marriage ended after 17 years. It’s a long story but it was mostly my own fault. I’ve learned and realized SO much since the divorce that I can feel myself evolving as a man and a future partner for someone. My main issue right now is the pain I am still feeling over the loss of my marriage and my identity. I hope so much to be able to get over it but it’s just so hard due to my anxious attachment style brought on by childhood trauma which leads to co-dependency. I am working through it though, as well as my other issues such as toxic guilt and that negative inner voice. I drove her to leaving me without even realizing it. There are times when I’ll have a flashback of something I said that our divorce in her head and I’ll just break down. I wish there was something to do to stop this but I just have to keep focusing on my self and wait it out. One day at a time.
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 күн бұрын
It sounds like you've done and are continuing to do a lot of self reflection and work on yourself! This is fantastic. Through this, as you said, you will be able to be the partner you wished you were to a future partner, and it will be so healing. All the best xx
@CraniacStudios 2 күн бұрын
@@DrLisaMarieBobby thank you. I hope so. I was actually able to reflect on our relationship and she is also guilty of emotional abuse toward me. I feel comfort knowing it was not just me but I’m still working for change. I will level up and be better.
@nowere4579 10 күн бұрын
This is a sad thing to say, but, dont get married. Went through this in my first marriage. Divorced. Will never do it again. Any woman insee now, its made very clear that there will be sex or go out separate ways.
@bashiruddinahmad408 8 сағат бұрын
35 months of no sex for me we are divorcing soon..even in good times it was one time a month
@nowere4579 6 сағат бұрын
@@bashiruddinahmad408 understand what you mean.
@DrLisaMarieBobby 12 күн бұрын
Hello to all of you that watched this video and have left questions / comments about YOUR situation. I'm writing to let you know that I am going to be interviewing some world-class sex therapists this week to address some of your questions, and will post the videos from that interview for you. I hope it provides you with some direction. Question for YOU: What else do you want to know? If you have Qs about what to do in this situation, or how to make things better, let me know what's on your mind and I'll pose them to our experts on your behalf. You can leave your Qs in the comments or anonymously here: www.growingself.com/dear-lisa. If you want to get real fancy you can record your question and I'll make it part of the show: sayhi.chat/drlisa @darrenjeromemusic, @lordgreystoke, @karenstyres7190, @melkerner
@okEorB 13 күн бұрын
This was QUITE helpful! This cleared some things up for me and gave me some good things to think about. I am encouraged, because based on what I heard in this podcast, I think the fears and anxieties I am feeling are almost exclusively a "me problem" based on my past, based on insecurities and fears, and my tendency to become anxious about big changes in general. I think that all the issues there are can be worked on and are solvable...
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 күн бұрын
So glad this was helpful for you! Wishing you all the best xx
@annaburns2865 13 күн бұрын
Thank you.
@joemamajams 14 күн бұрын
golden handcuffs! that's a genius way to word this problem!
@rustyshackleford81 15 күн бұрын
Struggling to even make it to our 8th anniversary. Shes just a shitty roommate at this point that doesn't care to even split chores or responsibilities.
@ertai222 18 күн бұрын
It's honestly quite pathetic that so many men have to put up with tbis garbage. Give women an inch and they'll take a mile.
@TrishsCreations 24 күн бұрын
Thank you for this, I really appreciate the information.
@jasminvelez7644 26 күн бұрын
This channel has been a godsend 🙏🏼 me and my partner are in a really, really tough spot. I've been devastated that maybe we really can't be together but after listening to a few podcasts I'm wondering if maybe there could be hope for us
@lindapalma5083 28 күн бұрын
Every single podcast I have heard recently of yours has been turning on several light bulbs. Huge Gratitude. ❤
@candid_with_keturah Ай бұрын
Are you accepting patients? You specifically lol
@DrLisaMarieBobby 28 күн бұрын
You are so sweet! Yes I do work on clients 1:1 but am maxed out currently. Get in touch with me at GrowingSelf to let me know more about you and what you'd like to work on, and I'm happy to help you get connected with one of my amazing colleagues. You will not be disappointed! (These are the people that I would personally want to work with.) xoxo
@cheerychinchilla Ай бұрын
"Confidence is something that can be developed" ❤
@DrLisaMarieBobby Ай бұрын
Yes!! We all have to do the work to get there! ❤
@Jeffreyperricone Ай бұрын
I think the problem is regardless if you didn’t know, you did know, they’re avoidant, or you are, the blindsided trauma is real and is honestly the most traumatic experience I have ever had in my life. It doesn’t matter what the reason is, being blindsided is unbelievably painful. So if I knew does that make it any different if I felt completely blindsided?
@DrLisaMarieBobby 28 күн бұрын
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. And you're right: whether or not you had ZERO idea that it was coming down the pipeline, or if you were intuiting it before it happened, it's still incredibly traumatic. Especially if it's basically your nightmare scenario, and you feel helpless to prevent it. Wishing you all the best, and I hope that the heartbreak recovery resources I have put out into the world help you on your journey of healing.
@cheerychinchilla Ай бұрын
As always, quality tips! I love how you respond to questions of listeners. You have a great voice too, btw. ❤
@DrLisaMarieBobby Ай бұрын
Thank you so much! You’re very kind. Thank you for being here with me!!
@DrLisaMarieBobby 4 күн бұрын
@cheerychinchilla thank you so much for the kind words! I get nervous on livestreams sometimes so it's so good to hear that they are helpful to you. Come hang out with me on a Thursday again! xoxo
@cariocajin Ай бұрын
If coffee makes you prone to anger and "snappy", how does that affect your hippocampus function. Does it shrink or expand ?
@DrLisaMarieBobby Ай бұрын
Oh my goodness that’s a great question! I don’t know the answer!! I hope if you research this you let me know because now I’m curious too…
@cariocajin Ай бұрын
@@DrLisaMarieBobby "Frequent caffeine consumption reduces gray matter volume in areas of the right medial temporal lobe, including the hippocampus. Ten days of “caffeine abstinence” helps regenerate gray matter" I'm on day two of my coffee abstinence and testing it out. So far, no withdraw symptoms or adverse effects, and I haven't noticed any significant improvement on my overall health. It's too soon to tell at this point. I Am supplementing my diet with amino acids though. The question was directed to the effects of coffee, but it can also include people who consume alcohol, and those who had suffered head trauma in the past which could affect the neurological circuitry of the brain and possibly trigger emotional anger reactions due to the fact of the part of the brain being atrophied, not stimulated enough or damaged. From a psychological standpoint, the thought that produced the emotional anger can be redirected to a thought that will not produce anger, assuming there is a path for those neurons to fire a different signal and that takes time and discipline. Imagine how many marriages, jobs and relationships could be saved if we just train our minds to resist the feeling of anger or unload at an appropriate or chosen time. People who don't understand human psychology tend to blame the person as a whole ( the person is angry because the person is wicked. It's who the person is and that is why she's giving way to those feelings ), when in reality, it could be another underlying reason that is not yet understood. If I have a broken bone, it's visible and the cause is also evident. If I have cancer, most likely it's because of a nutritional deficiency or genetic predisposition to that particular cancer. But when it comes to the brain, thoughts and emotions... where do we begin ? With you, I hope... I'm saying this because I was angry and later found out that I had PTSD. Once I realized the problem, I worked on the solution through diet and exercise. I have improved tremendously, but I lost a lot of the things I held dear. Most people jump on the "Doctors orders" and take synthetic harmful medications ( anti-depressants ), when in reality it could be traced down to a vitamin deficiency, neurogenetic malfunction, or a sedentary lifestyle. I chose not the holistic approach, which was a long, loving treatment I gave myself. Maybe if I chose the medical approach, I would've kept some of the things I lost. But that wouldn't be fair to me.... I just wanted to find out your opinion and point of view on the subject of what could be the real cause of an angry person. I know it's a complicated subject and each person is different. Thank you Doc !
@porscha1563 Ай бұрын
The tone doesn't match the topic. Idk, it makes me angry! 😅😂 Seriously 😩
@DrLisaMarieBobby Ай бұрын
@porscha1563 Thank you, I LOVE getting feedback from listeners like this! Would you do me the great honor of sharing more? Contact me directly: [email protected] or leave me a voice message: sayhi.chat/drlisa
@DrLisaMarieBobby Ай бұрын
And thank you for listening anyway! xoxo
@porscha1563 Ай бұрын
@DrLisaMarieBobby It was very informative.
@DrLisaMarieBobby Ай бұрын
@@porscha1563 Thank you. I try! But honestly youtube is really new for me and I'm still figuring out my presentation style. I'd like to grow in this area so I really appreciate your feedback! #growthmindset ❤🌱
@porscha1563 Ай бұрын
Love the info but not the tone.
@rusinsr Ай бұрын
Two things that I wish you had covered: 1. Is it fine to get into a relationship that doesn't start with the feelings of chemistry? If you've never ever had chemistry with a person (but know you are capable of it / have had it before in life), does that mean the relationship is doomed to fail or that you and the other person have some primal incompatibility? 2. Is there ever a situation in which chemistry disappearing CAN be a signal that the relationship is flawed and won't work out? Otherwise the main message from this podcast just boils down to "It's normal that chemistry disappears. Don't worry about it, ignore it!" 😅 Other than that, I really enjoyed listening to your experience, thoughts, and knowledge about the topic. Thank you! :)
@DrLisaMarieBobby Ай бұрын
@rusinsr this is SUCH a good question! Questions! These are thoughtful, and deserve a thoughtful response - like I think they deserve to be explored on their own podcast/video. Would you be willing to do me the great honor of recording your questions and allowing me to play them on an upcoming video? I wouldn't mention your name. If you'd rather not that's okay, I will just read your question. But here's the link if you're open to leaving me a voice memo: sayhi.chat/drlisa Thank you for listening and I look forward to hearing from you! xoxo, Lisa
@matthewnurse4994 Ай бұрын
The relationship is over especially when the other person makes you feel uncomfortable and bring more stress to your life. Run while you can.
@arteshbuz Ай бұрын
Dear Dr. I have been listening to your podcasts since 2021. I have learned a lot from you. I broke up a 17 years marriage back in 2022. I am thinking about giving it another shot with my Ex-wife. We have two daughters, 15 and 13. I really need a relationship expert or couple therapist in Los Angeles, South bay are or close by. Can you recommend someone? I have tried 9 different ones in the past several years. None was good! It is really hard to find someone caring and competent. Please help!
@DrLisaMarieBobby 28 күн бұрын
@arteshbuz I'm sorry to hear that you haven't had great experiences with therapists in the past! Doesn't surprise me: Most therapists (like 98%) do NOT have specialized education, training, or experience in couples and family therapy... but still offer these services to the general public. Predictably, this can be a big waste of time, money, and especially with couples in fragile situations, make things worse instead of better. More on "how to find a good marriage counselor" if you're interested to learn: www.growingself.com/how-to-find-a-marriage-counselor/ It's even harder in California where many therapists are "MFTs" (marriage and family therapists) but have not had couples and family specific training. I know because I have had many of them apply to work with my practice, Growing Self, and have had to turn them all down because they lack couples-specific competencies. It's really a tough situation, and no, consequently, I don't have anyone on my team in that area. But, question: Are you open to solution focused relationship coaching? If so we can absolutely help you, no matter where in the world you are. If this is interesting to you please get in touch, and we'll get you set up with a free consultation so you can learn more. www.growingself.com/contact-us/
@cariocajin Ай бұрын
Good morning, Doc !
@HealOurPlanet Ай бұрын
I've watched hours of clips on betrayal trauma, and found this one after doing a generic search on "online support groups blindsided betrayal." First I found a podcast but there was a link that pointed to a KZbin channel. Around minute 32:00 I got a lot out of it when she said something about our need for the relationship to work out might blind us to both the fact that things weren't adding up and what our intuition was telling us. She also repeats that most of the time there were signs. She says that she has never had a case with a person for whom there were no signs. I think she's right about this, unfortunately. She encourages us to do the work to figure out what happened and I think she's spot on. This is a rarer message and one that may not be easy to swallow the first time, so I would recommend watching the video again after you've had time to get over the shock of facing our part in being blindsided. Difficult situations involving narcissists, for example, are briefly mentioned as well as the potential for some people to intentionally conceal what they are really feeling and doing, but the onus is on us to do the work so that we don't fall victim to this kind of avoidance of the hard conversations. Too many times I let my partner shoot a conversation down when I shouldn't have without talking a stand for the sake of the relationship. It may have been hard, but being blindsided is much harder. She also says it's better to get into couples therapy sooner than later because sometimes it's too late. This was another gem in this clip. In my case, my partner blindsided me with betrayal, and then when I was threatening to move out because of stonewalling, He finally went to a doctor for insomnia due to back pain which turned out to be stage 4 cancer and died within 4 months. If I had taken a stand earlier, I think I would have felt better about doing everything I could to make it work. Uh-Oh... I just had a flashback of a moment when he said upon me taking a stand to his stonewalling, that he could just walk out the door and leave all of his things behind hind and I would never see him again. Maybe my guy was not just avoidant, but had even bigger issues. I'm still trying to understand what they were while also trying to understand what my part in this this difficult passage was.
@troystanley8919 Ай бұрын
You’re absolutely amazing
@holllllogram8332 Ай бұрын
Thank you so much, this is refreshing relationship advice. I love the idea of being an activist for my relationship. I tend to be very politically active but see that I have not applied that energy to my relationships in the past. I can't merely want a situation to change, I have to take action!
@FaeDruid Ай бұрын
Please talk the way you used to talk.
@DrLisaMarieBobby 28 күн бұрын
? What do you mean?? Tell me more @faedruid!
@SSYOTX 17 күн бұрын
@@DrLisaMarieBobby I'm not sure if it is what they meant but I just found your channel and enjoyed the slower pace than this one. This was a lot harder to follow for me personally
@franciscoicaljom Ай бұрын
Nice!! 5 is not enough
@DrLisaMarieBobby 28 күн бұрын
Haha you're right! I'll work on putting together more for you. There are really so many!! xoxo
@Ekam-Sat Ай бұрын
The parallels with Japan are shocking. First women withheld sex from their husbands and now Japanese men have become so emasculated that they no longer want to have sex with their wives. So now Japanese wives are sex-starved. I foresee this trend will play out in the US as well if we keep on bashing men.
@melkerner Ай бұрын
Considering she hasn't touched me in over 8 years (not even a kiss), but yet still expects Wife treatment, meals cooked, lunches packed, expenses paid - but I feel she wouldn't pee on me if my guts were on fire. She acknowledges the lack of physical affection and sex, says she can't be rushed (rushed, seriously)... by after essentially 15 out of 22 years of marriage being sexless (7 years of physical intimacy once every year - year and a half) to now nothing. Once we adopted the kids - I was thrown out. Now we have 1 child left in the home, and I don't see anything changing since she didn't even kiss me on our anniversary last week. No card, didn't feel it was special "just another day" is what she said. She is completely disconnected from her feelings and walled off. She refuses to go to an individual therapist. Says she doesn't trust therapists - but yet she works with therapists in her job and essentially forced me to go last year - so I see this as an evasion and refusal to address the issues she knows she is dealing with and simply doesn't want to budge from her frozen condition. I recommended EFT therapy for her an possibly both of us after she gets her issues with intimacy and sex addressed. She refuses to do so, and refuses to get a full hormone panel completed or even discuss these issues with her GP or OBGYN. 23 years down the drain.
@DrLisaMarieBobby 28 күн бұрын
I'm so sorry this is going on @melkerner. I can understand why you're feeling really stuck here, and why this situation would feel genuinely unsustainable for you. One option that could help both of you identify whether there is any potential for growth and positive change is something called discernment counseling, or discernment coaching. www.growingself.com/discernment-counseling/ You can go alone if she refuses. I hope that you find clarity and direction about the next best steps for you. Wishing you all the best...
@cariocajin Ай бұрын
How can a person be wrong for so long, carried on through marriage and then you come to finally figure it out she/he was wrong for you? People change, boundaries change, values and purpose change. At some point you yourself or your spouse "become wrong" to each other. It's almost like a cancer... It starts as a healthy cell, then it grows "wrong."
@DrLisaMarieBobby 28 күн бұрын
I believe that people grow and evolve. In my experience, often when one person grows and does a lot of work on themselves, they are no longer able to tolerate the unhealthy relationship that they've been living in for a long time. Before they got healthier, the relationship "matched" where they were personally. They changed, and the relationship wasn't sustainable anymore. This can also be due to people regressing in a negative direction. But the point, I think, is that people grow and change over the lifespan, and so relationships require growth and energy to evolve as well, if they are going to continue being positive and a good fit for both people. Hope that perspective helps.
@cariocajin 28 күн бұрын
@@DrLisaMarieBobby Thank you ! I fully agree with you. I wish I knew this from the beginning. My ex didn't get to see how much I have grown spiritually and intellectually. Later on, I found out that I was burned out, PTSD and suffering inside my head. The only emotional reaction I was delivering was anger and annoyance. Nothing was working out for me because I was broken and didn't know how to fix it. I encourage her to go to family counseling together as a couple for about a year and she didn't express any desire whatsoever. I should've just gone on my own anyway. But I believed it was OUR problem. If I would've searched for help, maybe that would've triggered a better response on her. It's now done and past beyond hope of reconciliation. But I learned a lot about it from you and other sources. Thank you for your work !
@Alese84 Ай бұрын
I can't possibly put into words how much you have helped me tear down the walls of resentment and unforgiveness in my marriage. My husband has been doing the growth work to right his wrongs, but I wouldn't budge with letting it go and it kept me caged. I feel free to love, free to acceptance. You saying choose acceptance and explaining the lights and darks of every personality really drove it home for me and gave me the courage to move forward in forgiveness. He is a very passionate person. He loves me tremendously, passionately, but that also means when he is upset he is just as passionate about an issue. I now understand that and it gave me tools to communicate, accept and have empathy. I don't know if you will see this message but THANK YOU!
@DrLisaMarieBobby 28 күн бұрын
Oh my goodness! @Alese84 this is SO wonderful to hear, and I'm so very happy for you!! I'm so glad you reached out, and I hope you keep in touch. xoxo
@Lemons-po3qs 2 ай бұрын
whas the emotional intelligence podcast from you please?
@DrLisaMarieBobby 28 күн бұрын
Hey! I actually have quite a few on this subject! You can find my entire Emotional Intelligence Collection on my website. Come to www.growingself.com > Blog and Podcast > Happiness Collection > Emotional Intelligence Collection. TONS of articles and a podcast playlist all on this subject. All for you my friend! xoxo
@eeri17 2 ай бұрын
When I finally I had the courage to end a long toxic relationship, he stated to hunting me untill I get back to the same old toxic circle, I feel hopeless I'm so lot stuck on it
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 ай бұрын
Oh my goodness, that is a tough situation when you're trying to break off a relationship and someone is pursuing you to reconnect. You are not alone in this! A while back I recorded a podcast on this topic, "How to leave a toxic relationship, with dignity." that might be really helpful for you. Here's the link: www.growingself.com/how-to-leave-a-toxic-relationship-with-dignity/ (FYI this was before I started doing videos, so it's just an audio podcast.) I sincerely hope that this helps you find your way forward, my friend. Keep in touch with me and let me know how it goes! xo, Lisa
@EnthusiasticLearner-o2i 2 ай бұрын
Where is others episode?
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 ай бұрын
Hi! What other episode are you looking for, my friend? I have about 500 of them and seem to mention at least 9 different ones on every episode! LOL! If you want to browse all, here is the link to my blog and podcast. You can navigate this by topic so hopefully it will be easy for you to find what you're looking for: www.growingself.com/blog-podcast/ If you can't write me back and I'll help you. We'll find it together! xoxo
@JessicaShelton-p7d 2 ай бұрын
Where is this link to the free resource please?
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 ай бұрын
Hey! Yes! It's right here: www.growingself.com/communication/ I'm so glad you're going to sign up for this, and I will be so interested to hear what you think and whether it's helpful! Thanks for connecting with me. 🤎
@sonyafacenda4203 2 ай бұрын
We celebrated 7 years married 8 years all together. In the beginning of our relationship we had a very healthy sexy sex life with one another. But then 41/2 years ago I was diagnosed with a health condition which caused a riff in our sexual interactions with each other which was very understandable. Fast forward I am happy to report that I have recovered remarkably thank God. We have discussed this issue/ topic with one another & at times it looks hopeful. But unfortunately it goes nowhere its like hitting a concrete wall this absolutely hurts to my core it, is now affecting me, emotionally in the worst way possible. I physically take care of myself, & I take pride in my self love. But that doesn’t seem to even matter? 😢what’s crazy is I get a lot, of attention, from another men which you would think that would make me fill great & fulfilled. But it actually does the opposite, bcuz I wish it was my husband giving me, his attention. Idk what to do I am completely talk d out I feel I’m begging for his attention, at first I was very invested in talking & communicating with him. But I’m not there anymore… I’m actually to be honest very piss’t I have thought, if leaving him, but I still love him very much & I am very torn with following through with that. On thing I know, this definitely has to get fixed bcuz we cannot continue to go on like this…. I’ve been through very difficult things throughout my life. But this by far is he worst it’s very damaging & it’s affecting me, in such a negative way I find myself, second guessing m womanhood I don’t feel sexy or desired at all & I am so broken inside, I’m at a crossroads & need “SOS HELP IN THE WORST WAY”
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 ай бұрын
Oh my goodness! I'm so glad that you reached out to me Sonya! I'm really sorry that you are going through this, and I can understand how it would be really hurtful. To be completely honest with you, this sounds like a situation that would benefit from working with a good therapist who specializes in sexuality, specifically. I say this because the health conditions that derailed your connection with your husband sounds like it had some traumatic components, and that there may be some "unfinished business" with it. You will want to be sure to look for a therapist who has SPECIALIZED EDUCATION AND TRAINING in sexuality. Most therapists do NOT have this and so if you go to any old therapist it may not be productive. Here is a link on my site to learn more about this type of couples counseling: www.growingself.com/sex-therapy/. If you would like to work with someone from my group, you're welcome to book a free consultation to talk about your situation and how we can help. Good luck to you! xoxo
@M-xlz3 2 ай бұрын
Dr. Bobby (and team), Thank you for doing an episode on this. I’m a physically disabled man in my mid-30s who’s never dated a woman because of confidence and self-esteem related to my physical disability. Being single for the rest of my life, bothers me immensely. I’ve recently discovered that I’m an anxious preoccupied person. (I just watched your interview with Thais Gibson before I clicked on this video.) I cannot wait to continue listening to this episode. This episode resonates so deeply with me. Please keep going with the phenomenal work!! It’s needed and appreciated!!
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 ай бұрын
Hello my friend! I'm so glad that episode was helpful to you and that you've been finding valuable information! It sounds like you're doing a lot of work on yourself right now and that is great. I think I'm also hearing that you are feeling very motivated to connect with someone special and find a great partner, but that it feels like there are a lot of obstacles standing in the way of your achieving that. I am confident that there are people in the world who would love to be in a relationship with someone like you. Do the work to make that happen! Keep going!
@M-xlz3 2 ай бұрын
@@DrLisaMarieBobby Thank you for taking the time to respond. And yes, everything you mentioned about me is spot on!! It’s great that you picked up on it. I will definitely keep going, keep learning like you said!
@LordGreystoke 2 ай бұрын
Hitting the 7+ year mark of no sex with my partner. I'm utterly miserable. Of course, raising a kid has proven incredibly damaging to our marriage. Covid created lots of stress. And my partner ballooned in weight, no thanks to various drugs she was taken. Ugh, it's a total disaster. We've done therapy together but it still hasn't enabled us to reach a stage where we can have sex again. I badly want out but find myself in an impossible situation as I have nowhere to go and we both share the house now, 50/50. Knowing my daughter would be raised by divorced parents just wrecks my soul. I remember seeing the movie American Beauty with Kevin Spacey back in the late 1990s when I was still a bachelor. I said to myself then I would never, ever allow myself for that to happen to me. To find one self in a sexless marriage. And what happened? Exactly that. Life can be so cruelly ironic sometimes.
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 ай бұрын
This sounds like such a difficult situation and I am so sorry that you're dealing with this. I can understand how this doesn't feel sustainable, but that you also feel trapped. Question for you: Did the therapist you saw actually specialize in sex therapy / sexuality? I ask because many people don't realize that not all therapists are the same, and many practice outside the scope of their expertise. So it's easy to "go to therapy" and then not get results and think the situation is hopeless.... when maybe it's not. (Think if you went to a basic general practitioner physician if you're dealing with cancer, or a heart condition. They won't know how to help you!) Before you give up, I hope you consider connecting with a specialist just to see what's possible. Here's more about sex therapy / intimacy coaching if you're interested: www.growingself.com/sex-therapy/ Wishing you all the best, my friend!
@Billy-the-Kid Ай бұрын
First mistake is to marry her... Second mistake, accept she became Jabba theHUT. Third mistake, not fill in your own needs, make sure you have a side chick. Mistake 4, do that 'therapy', it's a waste of money and time. Sorry to be so blunt... Now MAN UP !!!
@LailaFahmi-z7o 2 ай бұрын
Hi I need help how to cut the cord he’s still sending me msgs and don’t know the right way to tell him to stop
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 ай бұрын
That's really tricky! I actually recorded an episode recently about taking your power back after a breakup: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oJaymYRor9drfqc It's all about how you can empower yourself to do what's right for YOU during this difficult time. I know you can do it! xoxo Lisa
@amyfelix2208 2 ай бұрын
Amazing thank u so much for the work you are doing.
@DrLisaMarieBobby 2 ай бұрын
So glad you enjoyed! Thanks for listening 😘