It's so funny you say that because I've seen more and more lately that make me wonder whether I have undiagnosed ADHD. I've suspected I'm on the autism spectrum for a long time with good reason and familial diagnoses but I've started to realise that I don't actually have object permanence even though I would've laughed at anyone who suggested I don't a decade ago. After all, I'm not silly - I know things exist when they're out of my sight. And yet... kitchen equipment goes unused, meat in freezer is non-existent unless I think hard about it being there, I've literally brought the same shirt twice, and although I know logically everyone I love exists when they're not nearby, I don't really consider the passage of time so don't really reach out as often as I could/should. There's a few other things as well, but unfortunately when I've brought it up with doctors they're just "well you're a grown woman, what does it matter if you do have it" so it will likely be a maybe for the rest of my life. The one advantage is I can look up tips and tricks that might help without meditation and try to apply them to see if it does make things easier.

@@writeonshell Yes the passage of time is a big issue along with everything you said about organization and habits. I wonder from what country you're from because... I'm sorry but your doctor is incompetent. ADHD is a serious disorder that can be enormously debilitating and devastating and of course the severity is relative from person to person, situation to situation, I mean in certain African countries they literally chain people with mental illnesses to trees, they chain them to trees but that doesn't mean the it's not gonna affect you even if you are "privileged" with a solid family, a well structured education/career and what not, it's gonna affect you anyways and you should at least have the choice to get your diagnosis and your medications. Change your doctor as soon as you can

Thank you :D The hair was mostly an attempt to contain the mop with the humidity 😂

Put a little pupper bed up there maybe? 🤣 problem is Luna would try to climb in too and collapse the whole thing.

I've tried the fluffy, but then that leads to the feeling of wasting time not writing anything "important". There's a combo of things going on and this was just me trying to sort out my thoughts on it a little, hopefully with some of these things out there and now that I'm recovering (again) from everything I might be able to get back into something of a routine and try to work through those issues that aren't the big issues - the big issues can come later when it's time to consider publishing. I think the eyes are a combo of the eyeshadow (reds and greens always bring out the green a bit more) and the overcast day when I recorded this a few weeks ago.

Being harder on myself than I need to be could easily be the title of my autobiography LOL. Thank you for your support ❤

Thank you ❤

Thank you, but only from a distance - mostly I had to watch youtube tutorials and practice.

It really is a struggle. People talk about having a healthy relationship with food and it's important to do it, but honestly I still feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with it and it's one you *can't* just cut out of your life. I'm doing better with it these days - making sure I get up and start the day with a healthy breakfast - but I'm able to do that working from home while the office is closed for Covid. I have no idea how (or if) I'm going to manage once I need to be back in the office and lose that morning time to a commute.

That must have been scary! I had a few times in my childhood where I choked on things and the only thing I can really remember from them is that blind panic of OMG I can't get a breath.

That is exactly the only thing I remember about almost drowning. I'm still not a strong swimmer but better than I was.

Yeah, you actually did die - and I won't let you forget that even if you can't remember it.

@@writeonshell LOL I am sure you won't

That's so cool. Like I said in the video, I really can't imagine what it must be like to be able to see things in your head. And yeah, it's definitely exhausting sometimes. It's so weird to think that some people don't have that constant noise/dialogue/second guessing/worry running as a constant noise in the background.

I don't have that noise in my head constantly but often enough that I do understand how it can ramp up anxiety

She is big turn on ❤️❤️❤️❤️

It's a good thing and a bad thing, but we all have to just do what we can to take care of ourselves and each other.