Not sure how this works when you’re in a situation where all the staff organise social events and leave only you out. What are you meant to say about that? Who are you meant to complain to? It’s a group rejection and blurs into the social side of work, not related to specific job tasks. Not sure who you’d talk to or how you’d phrase that, seems like it’s just a situation where you need to leave.

Thank you for this video. I've been on every side of this. I need to set better boundaries.

You are very good at this. Understanding people has always been un natural to me. When I was bullied in school, I would ask adults about it and none of their answers to my questions made any sense to me. I think that it is because they were all wrong. I have been trying to understand human behavior with an evolutionary psychology lens. Under which, all behavior is selected into the genome, because it offered some genetic advantage. I was told as a child that if you are nice to others, they will be nice to you. I think that having the capacity to induce fear is the basis for respect and a key for getting power. In schools, they need to spend all of their time reinforcing the victims. My life would have been much better if someone like you would have helped me understand in 1979. All of the adults back then were clueless, as if it were an entirely new problem.

My boss been bullying me and from what I was told since I got autism it will be hard for someone to believe me

The big problem with retaliation is that it’s often very calculated where it ‘fits’ within a grey area. Often, it is meant to make the targeted employee appear unhinged, paranoid or mentally unwell.

I seen ppl in workplace being affected by other people’s actions, and I use to be like that this was good video to understand how I could have felt or how others might feel

I like this approach! It is a smart one!

Thank you so much for this well informed and most helpful video! I am taking notes for my interview.

Omg. Yes. When I discussed being bullied, they were not empathetic or tried to even listen. My boss said why do people don't want to work with you. He put on the spot as if I am the bad guy. I am dealing with harrassment and bullying from 5 people who are close friends at work. I am new not having any friends, and they listened to my co teacher when we have differences and takes her side. I am documenting everything, so when I leave I can present this to the Head of the School.

Thank you so much for this insightful video! I know why work place bullying tends to happen to me. I am going to change it,but first I need to get out of a toxic work environment where I am dealing with mass bulllying. I will learn from my past mistakes of being too nice, and not setting boundaries.

I agree. At this point, I may have to switch to a different workplace and take a pay cut for mental health. My co-workers are toxic. I also have to work on how to handle a toxic work environment because it can be anywhere.

Thank you so much for doing this video! I am dealing with mass bullying with a group of 5 employees who are targeting thanks to my co-teacher who can't stop talking to them.

The bullies are so subtle and there's a lack of integrity among the management that's absolutely seeing the bullying and thinking "oh well - not my problem!"

I am glad you always stood your ground. It is important.

The toxic gossipers are usually the worst performers on the floor because they are not actually doing anything. While the target is usually the best performer in an attempt to secure their jobs.

Thank you for the video. It’s refreshing to hear actual USEFUL, PRACTICAL advice.

Insightful 📝

If the bullying is severe, leave. Yes I have seen that before and I wish there was legislation.

What about mums in the yard at school. I took a misstep due to anxiety and acted a little weird one time and now all the mums think I'm a nutbag. Impacts my kids and I'm stuck. No management no help

Thank you. Very sensible advice. I’m dealing with a really nasty work bully who is clearly very jealous about my recent promotion. She’s already been in the managers radar as a trouble maker with other coworkers. But today she called me a retard at work and said numerous other untrue demeaning things. (Repeatedly). Even in front of witnesses. I reported it. I know she used to be in the foster care system but sadly, she should get therapy instead of unleashing her anger and lack of self worth on her coworkers. I refuse to tolerate disrespect in the workplace. This woman has issues and she isn’t interested in getting along. She always escalates minor things into huge dramas at work. Fortunately this was already a problem with various coworkers prior to today so this time she’s not getting away with it. I refuse to lie and say that I will just get along, (since she’s made it so clear she is only interested in abusing others). I told my upper management that I don’t feel safe working with her due to her repeated aggressive behavior. Others have also reported her. She’s sinking her own ship. Total unlikable bully narcissist.

I agree with what you're saying here. Sometimes leaving is the answer, but many times it isn't because you'll just just encounter the same situation on down the road.

Hang on? This sounds like you're saying the issue is you? Surely that isn't what you mean?? No grown ass adult should have to worry about dealing with this bs once they leave the school yard

What is the real purpose for a P.I.P ? Is it to ‘gently’ coerce an employee to find other employment? Is it an attempt to intimidate a targeted employee by management?

I am so glad some said “ignoring it” is not the right way to handle. I have been “ignoring it” for 8 months all day everyday. They just get worse and grow in numbers until you are actually running away all the time. I spoke with my manager and was gaslit. I am doing the best out of the entire department. So I know they don’t care about who is doing well lol

I was told I was being paranoid, this was HR. The manager seem to be encouraging this behaviour

You are right. The sub lied because she lives far away in an unsafe area. She came to work late and left early day that particular week. I was out of ratio with 8 toddlers by myself. I didn’t say anything to the boss.

gossipers are toxic! they definitely won't even talk to you. seeing that you are coming to see them they will just probably mock you and that is it. that's not a good advice.

This is incredibly insightful! Finally someone spoke the correct words. Yes! I work with a diverse group of women who are from all sorts of backgrounds. There are women who are dual language speakers. Most often English is not their first language. So there’s constant miscommunication because some people who speak another language tends to not listen clearly and they misinterpreted what I say. There are also the 20 something age group who thinks that they know everything. One young lady who is 23 years old is very hot tempered. When she was walking out of my classroom holding my computer charger (as I was walking in near the door) she said can I borrow your charger, as if she knew I would say yes. All I said was of course but next time ask me first. It’s courtesy to ask before assuming that the person will say yes all the time. It’s like a good neighbor walking out of my house asking on the way out. When I decided to take high road and apologize to her, she said Go go away. Ugh. From now on, I will have less interaction deal with someone who lacks maturity. I have tried to be kind and respectful many times but I still get bad treatment from her. I tried to empathize but she will not take any act of kindness from me. What do think I should do?

Absolutely. These are necessary interpersonal skills. We have to learn how to stand up for ourselves. Bullying i's an insidious part of human nature. It's all well and good reporting it, but it's likely to make it worse, not better. It's shit and its not fair but it's time to figure out the "game" and stand up to them. My manager is supporting me and coaching me to figure this out myself. It was my choice. I have always run away in the past meaning that I never learned how to defeat people for fear of not being liked. Its against my nature and my values to be unkind, but I'm not putting up with people trying to errode me and tell me I'm worthless. Bullies enjoy dis-empowering people. So empower yourself, talk to friends, ask people who aren't bullied how they cope, get people on your side but ultimately outsmart, fight back, ridicule their attempts of diminishing you! Nobody else is going to do it for you. Ultimately, they are showing you exactly where you need to put guards up. They're attacking all the soft squishy parts of you which are clearly on show 💪✊

Do you tell your boss when your colleague is lying about leaving an hour earlier than her expected time? She also came in an hour late. I was out of ratio.

Workplace bullying isn't about resolving conflict. It's about the need to dominate, and to maintain that social dynamic through reinforcement.

Im worried about references. I have woked so hard and done so much for these ingrates. I am scared that I will end up getting a bad reference because they have made it look like Im a problem. I really am shocked that people spend so much time trying to bring others down to falsely raise themselves.

By the grace of God, the team of bullies is being split up this year, quitting, moving. The main instigator is in admin but hopefully she focuses on other areas now. I just have to keep going, ignoring some stuff and commenting on others like I continue to care, remaining professional to the end. Meanwhile I feel broken and that I could give a care. Any specific comments to my last ditch efforts?

Hi! I tried clicking the link to access the “50 Scripted Responses” document. I entered my name and email address and it said to click to download the link. I did that but then it said, “Access Denied” in tiny print at the top of the screen. Would you be able to help with this? Thank you!! 💖

At Dormakaba the management were the bullies and wanted every one of their workers to do it with them. I asked management to have it stop. She pulled everyone in that area while I was there and had a meeting so they could pretend they weren't doing it. They then went to HR and HR said they talked to all the people doing it. Those said people said they weren't. They told me I needed psychological help and put me on leave. They then a month later said I could come back if a psychologist checked off a list stating that I was in the wrong. That I was doing something to them instead. Dormakaba HR blames the abused. I was recording them though so now it is all over the Internet. Yep I was the problem by them being disgusting.

Yes on number 1

Its bad when the main suprrvisor is the leader of the Mob Bully Pack....

Hi I enjoyed your video. I have tried clicking on the free resource of scripts of what to say in certain situations. However, it says it’s expired. Is there anyway of getting this another way?

Adult bullying is pervasive in public schools

I'm too worthless to exist

Happened to me in the military, too. This is so hard to prove when the guilty party lie about it, and are believed over your truth, leaving you as the scapegoat!!!

My bully succeeded in smoking me reputation- ended with me not being there to do paperwork on my own time and production setbacks escalating to an 8 figure loss of income. My bully lost his job, my boss and his job had their careers hit. And it took a year to whittle an 8 figure hit to the spreadsheets to 'managable' mid 7 figure financial hit.

Thank you for the video. Currently someone had grabbed me at work and began to scream at me. Management and HR are saying that the person is sorry and he want to excuse himself. After the situation happened i tried to explain to the teamleader but he was biased and i left the building. While this happened i was already few months on sickness benefits due to work related conflict. My question is about filling and reporting. Should i hire a lawyer? I feel like I cant trust the managers and HR department and everyone is aginst me there.

Feels like victim blaming unless there's a fundamental misunderstanding on what bullying is and that it's usually based in bigotry ideology. For instance, after I got accommodations, I went from Golden child to immediately being harassed every day