Best explanation on resentments and BEST 'how to' work through resentments! Thank you! 👏

I've had to create a clip so I can repeatedly listen to Rob tell me it's not my fault.

pretty sure my ex boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me because of the enmeshment he has with his family. we had our first conflict and he got them involved, but he told me that no matter what his parents think and if they thought we needed space, that he would still see me. but he ignored me for days after that and broke up with me on the phone on new year’s day giving me vague responses like “a bell has rung”, i wouldn’t do this to you”, and “i need someone more like me” but also left me with “i want to remember the good memories” and “i don’t know what the future holds before hanging up on me when i was asking him questions. everyone keeps telling me that people got in his ear and maybe that explains why he was so vague. he always told me that i was the “love of his life” and that he was going to marry me one day just to end it all over this one conflict that was a misunderstanding and could’ve been fixed? the misunderstanding was me being hard on myself and wanting to give him a special gift for christmas and my emotions came out the wrong way. it came from a place of love and he couldn’t seem to understand my point of view, it’s almost as if he thought i was intentionally hurting him and his family which that wasn’t the case. i think he let his family, but more specifically his mom, have the final say and it really sucks that he left me like this, picking up the pieces myself.

I had no idea that I was an imeshed man until I listened to this podcast. Thank you for this incredible resource!

I am so grateful for this resource & everyone’s time in doing this + uploading to YT. Could you please consider titling videos/episodes with Erin Snow & Rob Weiss with some sort of indication to topics covered/genre? These are some of the most helpful videos, but I overlooked them at first when stockpiling relevant education and/or looking for specific answers, and missed out of some valuable info early on. I could reference the transcripts or info, but the info doesn’t consistently describe what’s covered, and digesting transcripts is time/energy consuming in a time when I have so very little. Even this comment’s effort means it’s important enough to me & emphasizes the value I find here. Seeking Integrity has lead me through the abyss to the light at the end of the tunnel. ❤️‍🩹

Debbie McRae, thank you very much. This is a very informative video. 👍kzbin.infogaming/emoji/7ff574f2/emoji_u1f44d.png

This can be 1000x harder when his crazy mom is disabled… his mom has Parkinson’s for 30 yrs…. His dad took care of his mom for over 28 yrs and died few yrs back.. now he took over… his mom needs his attention 24/7… he wakes 7 am every morning to care for her…even w 24/7 attention..he is not allowed to leave her side… if he walks out her room..she will bang the table soooo loud or cough sooo loud to get him back to her…… it is sooo scary to see… yet..he defends her… he can’t sleep at nite..she naps 3,4 times during the day and wakes him up all nite… he starts to have arm numbness… doctor told him that’s dangerous… his mom is literally killing him… I wonder if that how his dad died..his dad passed away at just 75… this woman is sooooo evil… karma.. please do something

It would be great if people helpers could find a better balance between “don’t keep secrets” but “oh you have a therapeutic disclosure coming up so don’t tell her anything else” I have seen this back fire too many times. Betrayed partners are blindsided at the full disclosure and find out that their partners are still acting out while preparing for the disclosure. The betrayer uses the excuse of “I was told not to tell you anything. I was told to save all information for the disclosure.” This causes so much harm and is often the last straw for the betrayed. All under the guise of following the current disclosure process. I believe the people helper is responsible to remind the betrayer that if they are not currently sober they should tell their partner and not wait til the disclosure. I’m not saying Seeking Integrity does or doesn’t do this. I’m just speaking to people helpers in general 😊

Great video... but the idea of 'masculine and feminine energies' is outdated and insulting to all people and keeps all of us stuck in archaic gender roles espoused in patriarcal religions.

I just looked up the Old Lady Posse and it led me back to treatment for men! And sex addiction. WTF. I’m dying here!

This costs an enormous amount of money that my spouse has taken away from me!

Very timely thank yoy

thank you for addressing the heightened stressors unique to the holidays. everything you mentioned actually happened within the past couple of weeks.

And so it sounds to me…… If you smoke a cigarette. And your blood pressure peaks. If you sniff a popper. It will prevent your heart attack. By taking your blood pressure down quickly. Right? So anybody that smokes cigarettes. Should carry a popper. As if you begin having a heart attack. Start sniffing your popper. And you might die with the world's best Orgasm? How bad could that be? You will die groaning instead of wincing. Dying won't be so bad nor painful. You'll die happy.... Until your very last, spurt. When you take your last, spurt. And then there is no coming back. Okay! Do I have this right? And which brand of over-the-counter popper does the best job? Do the black guys know? Yes! Ask your favorite black guy. RemyRAD

Thank you. 🙏😊

I know a person, 54 yo, whose mother cut him off because he decided to fix his marriage. And then he fought tooth and nail to get his mother back into his life. The whole time he claimed he was the one who cut her off. It was all a lie. Thats how he chose to try to exert control with the "mother" and now is back to her every whim and need, although shes married. She uses the whole extended family to control and manipulate. At some point, the person had a choice, this is what they chose. I know that you want the spouses to have compassion and empathy but at some point its not worth the fight, that person is not fighting for you at all. In fact they are continuously stabbing you in the back and then pissed off that youre bleeding. There is no remorse, no making up for it. Those are just words they use to further manipulate a partner into being their beard or scapegoat for just another short season. They hate you. They hate the mother too but none of this is about love. There is no love in these families. The more i learn about it, the more i am convinced there is no love or semblence of love in these families. Just manipulation and control. These people will usurp your life. Unfortunately, for most of us, we dont find out the hard truth until your life is spent. Dragged into the tragedy of this kind of family. These people are aware of what they are doing, even the men, but they want you to worship that family and will try to force you to bend the knee! For family that will never ever accept you or your offspring. When you see the whole picture, empathy and compassion have no place here. They are sadistic, just like mother most of the time. They smirk while they hurt you. The mock when you speak out. They get glee from hurting you repeatedly, its on their face. They use you to make mommy jealous and this only binds them even more to each other. Its spiritual in many ways. May God help us all. It may seem cruel to say it out loud, but not one time as an unwilling participant did i recieve empathy or compassion from these people. And i was labeled crazy and unstable by these sick people. I am angry. They need to give out psychology degrees by middle school so we can avoid these relationships. They are broken long before we enter the picture but they hide it and then blame you for seeing it. Thank God the veil is thinning.

Thank you!!

never really had them heard a lot of rumours calling them horny poppers 😂 i'm new to this can any elaborate what do they do

I wish we had Jon twice a week!

I learn so much from Jon. Really appreciate the material he presents

I've seen that book & thought about getting it. So this was a nice summary to see if I should get it

The acting out was off the charts during the past holidays.

You made me feel compassion for a person that I knew.

Hi Eddie, To be honest, I felt the same way about your comments as did the one person who complained. I felt like most of your content was on point but your blame comment triggered me for a couple of days. I realize much of the trigger was my own shame for staying and for being so angry. I do agree that as a betrayed partner I have my own work to do but I don’t need anymore blame. I also agree that it’s not healthy to stay stuck in your anger and constantly beat your partner over the head with it but maybe find a different way to say that? I appreciated that you addressed this in your talk today. I have learned so much from you and I have loved everything you have done. Thanks for listening.

That model has done why more harm than good. Dr Jake Porter (sp) has the right idea. And there was absolutely no accountability or trauma healing. If anything it made me feel more trauma. Both counseling and spiritual leaders caused more trauma. And building trust is found in action and how you are being treated in your pain. Attitude is EVERYTHING. If you act like it’s a chore or punishment to have consequences vs remorse and actions because you are getting a second chance. Which one are you? Attitude!!!

thank you dr rob and all the team behind this channel 👋

The you’re crazy part is almost worse than the betrayal

I only heard of poppers in approx. 5 years when i saw a video of a guy saying hes using to do something to himself. This guy was addicted to poppers because he said he liked using them. Drugs are not for me.

@57:40 … why are you assuming the betrayed partner is in alignment with the betraying partner? Why do most of these podcasts treat the betrayed partner like a helpless victim? Maybe the betraying partner doesn’t feel safe to talk to their betrayed partner for a valid reason. I’m not downplaying or blaming … i’m asking a real question … why don’t therapists address the responsibility of BOTH partners?

@43:20 “who is this person learning to connect with, other people” I love this!

@43:20 “who is the person learning to connect with other people” I love this!

Excellent topic! Thank you.

People arnt their behavior, ok then wouldn't that mean that if they cheat then their not a cheater, or if they lie then their not a liar? of course not, if they cheat they ARE a cheater, they ARE a liar. thoughts create feelings, feelings create motivation, motivation create actions, actions create reality. you most deffently are what you do. if someone is watching barely legal, but hadn't acted on it, its because they are afraid of the legal consequences. if they could do it, get away with it then they would do it. People that hire pro*titutes, are indeed a form of offender, they are proticapating in an illegal activity unless they are in Nevada, which is still a violation to the body and the rights of their partner. if any action someone takes causes harm, supports or encourages harm to another person, it may not be legally offending but it's its still an offense.

Thank you, Jon!! And Seeking Integrity!🙏🏻

This we really never learn or know about and with internet porn so common and easy accesible on the internet its alarming because especially with addiction its really self-deceiving If porn comes up in a conversation i will mention sexual templates even if its my own family.. Ofcourse its taboo to even talk about but we need to raise awareness on this and i think to mention sexual templates and that internet porn damages our brain just that is important to know!

I always watch your webinars Kristen. You've helped me heal so much from betrayal trauma. Also your new haircut looks beautiful!

MISS SNOWDEN …..AFFAIRS AND PORN ARE DONE WILLFULLY ….THERE IS NO “ sex addiction” or “ porn addiction” …. only the mindset of the man who loves to cheat and inflict betrayal trauma and pain on their partner ….

Well... I know I'm not enmeshed. My mom has a burst pipe in the basement, I won't find out about it until Christmas and we're sitting around the dinner table talking about the year that has been. I live in Cambodia and she lives in Australia. Different lives.

Like a smoker dx with lung cancer and still smoking.

I got dumped a week before my wedding to an enmeshed man. Kind of a blessing in disguise.

BETRAYAL TRAUMA NEVER EVER GOES AWAY ….AS LOYALTY IN A RELATIONSHIP IS THE REQUIREMENT TO BE IN THE RELATIONSHIP . STAY SAFE .

ONCE BETRAYED ….THE PAINE NEVER GOES AWAY …DOES NOT MATTER OF THE “ SKILLS”….TRUST IS BROKEN FOREVER …SO THINK TWICE WHEN BETRAYING OTHERS . STAY SAFE OUT THERE .

My SA UH is definitely not growing on an emotional level. He is as evasive and avoidant as ever. As always, he sweeps any uncomfortable feelings on my part that arise from his behavior and trigger me under the rug as quickly as possible. Not a heroic story, unfortunately. When it comes to our relationship, he lives by the motto "wash me, but don't get me wet." I'm not willing to live with it anymore. He can keep his behavior, but then not me.

My SO bare found out about his ADHD. We're both struggling to manage this new relationship as it is.

Thank you all for watching and listening to this deeply personal conversation. 💜 Healing from betrayal trauma, especially when tied to addiction, is a journey, but it’s one that leads to reclaiming our true identity and finding peace. Remember, you are not defined by others’ actions, and healing starts with loving yourself and trusting in God’s purpose for you. I hope this video resonates with you and helps you on your own healing journey. Let’s continue to support one another and break free from the false beliefs that hold us back. Share your thoughts-I’d love to hear how this message speaks to you.

“ men” that betray only care for themselves and their huge EGO ……and there is “ no porn addiction“ but men’ s disgusting lustful brain …..US is full of such “ men” . …and who wants to be with a “ man” like that anyway? Response ….NO WOMAN . BETRAYAL OF ANY TYPE CREATES TRAUMA AS THE TRUST IS BROKEN …..FARTHER ….TRUSTING MEN IN GENERAL WILL BE THE NEW REALITY .

Why are you showing pictures of her instagram? Super weird.

Recognizing that what other people do, like her ex's and mom's addiction, is not a reflection of her value is a great healing step.

Danielle is HIGHLY triggering for me 😢

Yes! ❤thank you!