Debbie McRae, From Disconnection to Connection, 1.17.25

[@Dawn-tv1bk]

It would be great if people helpers could find a better balance between “don’t keep secrets” but “oh you have a therapeutic disclosure coming up so don’t tell her anything else” I have seen this back fire too many times. Betrayed partners are blindsided at the full disclosure and find out that their partners are still acting out while preparing for the disclosure. The betrayer uses the excuse of “I was told not to tell you anything. I was told to save all information for the disclosure.” This causes so much harm and is often the last straw for the betrayed. All under the guise of following the current disclosure process. I believe the people helper is responsible to remind the betrayer that if they are not currently sober they should tell their partner and not wait til the disclosure. I’m not saying Seeking Integrity does or doesn’t do this. I’m just speaking to people helpers in general 😊