I don’t love them at all. They break me into pieces

All my childhood and still in my early 20s I get to be humiliated by my parents because in their words I'm indebted to them. It has shattered my self esteem and made me feel guilty all my life but now I realize this injustice and would never want such parents for anyone. Although they have raised me fine but these words have undone everything they have done for me and made me hate them even more the older I get. I want them to be better but I know it will never undo the damage they have done to my self image, mental health and my happiness.

Mdma taught me more about overcoming social anxiety than anything I learned (or didn’t) in childhood

I love your accent ❤

My mom attempts on our weekly one hour phone call to guilt trip me or make me feel so sorry for her. Been doing it for years. But I haven't once travelled on that guilt trip she is offering. There is a way to mentally and emotionally fortify yourself, but still engage. Once you start practicing it, you get better and more experienced. 30 years ago when I started, I could let it bother me some, and I would be snippy to my mom, but I have gotten much better. Don't go on that trip

I have that problem

I think it is easily overlooked the importance of hope in these situations, having a clear vision/ goal really helps in times of ambiguity

I needed this video to confirm my decision….i forgive my parents (all 4 of them) yet only 2 of them will know my children….if i even have any

Where do you get off with this crap Ppl like you are making the world easier for Satan to divide and conquer

One day, all you haters will realise that you are your parents, and will bitterly regret the lack of compassion. What you do to another person, you are actually doing to your future self, so just be careful. I am speaking from experience. There is no escaping who you are, which is just a diluted form of them. You might think you are expressing yourself in a way to be anything other than like them, but your future self will reveal that you are looking in a mirror. It took me many decades and I still haven't got there with my own father, however, I have had children, and in spite of all my best effort... it bleeds through. Stop being so one sided about it. AT the age you first started to feel that you could 'defy' your parents, was the first day you need to take responsibility for your own behaviour and reactions and choices and how that change the dynamics. A lot of tension is created... the paths are bifurcating and go separate ways. People do stuff they don't mean.... I am sure you do stuff you don't mean and hate it when your character is set in stone because of it. I did not choose for my daughter to leave home and hate me since then... that is not what I wanted.. but she wanted to be independent and got mixed up with some strange people... is that my fault as a mother because I did or didn't do something??????????? While she thinks I did everything wrong, I do not have a leg of defense to stand in, knowing my own motive, it is harsh and cruel to have to be in control of the whole world, just to appease the desires of your children. You do not cease to be an imperfect person just because you have produced an offspring. It is not easy for anyone and no one can know what life with children will bring. The best laid plans of mice and men. It's not easy, but dang, there is a lot of hate here and it doesn't help.

My parents didn’t get me a quince because they were too broke and they did what most narcissist do make a choice for you and gaslight u into thinking it was ur idea all along and would tell me “you didn’t want one stop lying” even tho when I was 15 I would constantly tell them I wanted one and they would give me false hope and be like okay but the quince never happened and I stopped asking them for one because they would always fight about having “no money” so ofc younger me didn’t want to burden them and it was traumatizing now I’m about to be 18 and I’m still upset at them for not giving me one I feel like I missed out on a lot and they set me up for failure this is just one of many things they have done to me. They literally set u up for failure and guilt trip u

Thank you for making this video, I'm gonna take these steps and improve my eye contact with people. I know its going to feel weird but at less i will be able to look at my family to show them that i love them and want them to know that I'm listening, coworkers with respect and to be able to change what I am today (TY)

I am staying with my 90 year old mother in our house in the village for the summer because I started working in a place nearby. Previously I had expectations that we could manage to have a mother-daugher relationship. Now I have put an armour so that to be prepared for her attacks. For example, I come home from work and she has prepared lunch. Since it is a plain food she says "I would have also boiled some eggs but you are difficult, so I didnt". Such a simple phrase but the meaning is outrageous. This time I will try to just see it and ignore it and focus on the possibliities my stay in the island gives me!

I used to worry and overthink about this. But then I realized that I cannot do anything about it. I cannot make everyone like me. I stopped worrying and just live my life, one day at a time. More at peace with myself now. I remember this one time I joined a Lego group. They didn't seem to want me or other new members in general. I tried it for a year to give them the benefit of the doubt. Nothing changed. So I stopped coming to meetings without notice. Don't miss them. I play my Lego on my own, and more at peace. 🙂

Loving this!!!!!!!! .....and love the music, it makes it easier for me to listen. I've been planning on making new friends now and letting go of...of whatever!:)

F you. You are entirely wrong about that! You owe them reapect you even fn exist

What about kids guilt tripping their parents?

I literally needed this my women parental unit went off on me today cause I didn’t send her money to cash app. She’s toxic af and said some pretty mean things about my relationships,people talking about me but she defended me.and all I did was ask a question. I was told never ask me questions like wtf I am my own person an adult,and I got bills too. I’m not here to pay your way as well. Grew up with trauma due to her I said no more today. I simply said ok I get it. I refuse to be manipulated and deal with toxic person any longer.

Pllese help me Jesus Christ 😊

This has made me feel too scared to socialize for fear of disappointing my parents.

I had always experienced this problem since i was 2 up from my 20s in adolescence. it started through part of my family dealing with disabilities and more issues where family had to be more dependent rather than in clique as one in a healthy way, also due to other broken barrier reasons- but really the dependance had infiltrated on me to pick up on this trait to always help and be mature more than my age for a kid. i had to learn a lot fast and see, hear, deal with things that i wasn't supposed to- and it seemed to be okay at first because the love and appreciation i felt from part of my family was something as a child i was supposed to do. but when things lead out from a convenient place and i was aware to not take on that subject there would be instant backlash and tension. it was so different from the quote on quote love and appreciation to manipulation and being looked down on and judged. even abuse to some takes. i grew to love always helping and giving but i am now learning to receive and put myself first instead of others. its difficult to some degree, but i always make sure to never run myself out dry ever again for anyone.

It's simply so exhausting to be around them. They put pressure on me thinking that I'll get motivated but that's just not the case. They tell me i've changed whilst not realising they changed drastically too. In my childhood they used to support me and believe in me. That gave me fuel to do great academically. But now ALL that they do is keep. on. insulting. I simply don't work like that. I've told them about this but they just aren't willing to listen. They keep comparing me to be like these "other kids". I'm sorry i just CANT. Why do I have to walk on eggshells around them and cannot myself relax even a little ?

I think I super quiet and shy that when I start to actually talk people are thrown off

in toxic parenting, kids have to be extremely mature than their parents.

Is it sad that I’m more comfortable with being hated than being treated with indifference? Like even my own family is entirely indifferent towards me, no matter how much effort I put towards growing those relationships. Hurts man.

I am soon going to take care of my elder parents and it scares me so much...

Just like any relationship you may have to separate from toxicity for your own mental and physical health. There are definitely some parents that cross lines at times or most of the time. Hurt or hurting people hurt people. What we may find as we mature is we also had some warped , selfish, limited and/or grass is greener views of life, others, including our parents and their parenting. The hope is that parents do what is best for their children...now and future. To raise kids to be loving productive members of society. Parents should not expect kids to repay them or take care of them. You are correct. Kids don't ask to be here but if you have great parents...ones that tried their best to give you the best so your adult life could have a great start, be grateful. Just as you would show appreciation to any other person that chooses to love you deeply. If you had terrible parents, please don't just leave them...leave in peace and health lest you go on and repeat similar ❤ mistakes with your own kids or other relationships.

What if they constantly go back and forth between the two?

Hi 👋

I thought that you're constantly supposed to look into people's eye during a conversation. Yay that means i don't have social anxiety

My parents both confused love with control. I’m old now and I remember how bad it was. Once I got a bad report card and my father nailed it to my bedroom wall. He showed it to relatives who visited. Of course they thought I was too easy with my children.

I wonder if people actually don't like me or I'm just the one who thinks about it that way... I wish i could make friends

This was really helpful thank you ! 🙏 🙏

No girl

Hi your website does not work ?

I've dealth with an overbearing mother my whole life including most of my adult life, and my advice is to get out. Get out of there even if you have to walk through hellfire to do it.

What a bunch of hogwash! You guys are selfish little jerks. Let's see how you feel when you have kids.

And today, these "authoritarian parents" that continue to treat their adult children the same way, don't seem to understand why their kids are going no contact with them? They have to emerge "the victim" no matter what, it seems.

I'm 23 and I am just now realizing how damaging having an overbearing parent was to my development. I'm a full-blown adult and I can't make any decisions for myself. I struggle looking for a job because I feel like I would fail at any job I got, and when I do occasionally have a job interview I am an anxious mess and feel like no matter what I'm gonna say I'll fail. Most of my friendships fail long-term because I'm a mess and I can't go out with people like a functioning adult would. It's especially hard on my physical health because the stress and anxiety is literally eating me alive and destroying me from the inside out. As you can probably guess I still live with my mom. Today I wanted to wipe our garden table so I just asked my mom if we had an old cloth I could use. Instead of just handing me the cloth she insisted on wiping the table herself and told me numerous times that I couldn't do it and that she can do it faster and better. I kinda snapped and tried to confront her about it but she just brushed me off, saying that if I had done it her way and faster she wouldn't have interfered. I can't even wipe the table without her trying to bring me down. I wish I could just move out and try to fix my own life without her interference but I can't even get a minimal wage job so I guess that's out of the picture for now...

I don’t remember if it was this particular video, but the part where you said that we do what our parents say and we follow their rules, but STILL it is just NOT good enough for them and our parents treat us like a BAD child ANYWAY ! See THAT is the EXACT problem because that started when we were 5, and our parents just CONTINUE to treat us like a BAD CHILD right into ADULTHOOD even though we do what they say and follow their rules ?? Well maybe our PARENTS need to be held ACCOUNTABLE and that part NEVER HAPPENED !! Who holds our PARENTS accountable ? Oh wait: NOBODY !! So our parents just KEEP MISTREATING us !!

My mom use me for money. When I don’t have money she is really rude to me

I like how this vid doesnt make excuses for there bullshit -shannon

I ran away and made the terrible mistake of coming back! They haunted me since then and now it's time to leave once and for all

My dad says I owe him because he fed and raised me, he’s super narcissistic and thinks if you don’t do what he wants you to do, he will say oh you don’t respect me , say you’re going to hell. He will continuously talk smack about you to everyone and anyone.

Thanks. I'll try those tips. I have productive hobbies but i could definitely use a leisurely one.

With me, I’m just thinking my gaze is either too intimidating or makes the other person think I’m trying to be seductive. I just can’t get away from that feeling.

Thirty years ago my mother told me her relationship with my father would always came first, so I’ve spent the last 28 years pursuing recovery, art and travel… and they hate me for it. 😂

I just came across this video, just after my mum guilt tripped me about me asking if I could hang out with my friends. I never ask for much but mum went off about how her and dad were sacrificing their day off for this and that they were being extremely generous by letting me do this. And they said some parents would just straight up say no, comparing themselves to crappier parents than themselves. My mum trauma dumps and vents to me and my dad acts friendly with me but then terrifies me and traumatises me if I make a wrong move. This has been going on for years. I’m 14 now.

How do you learn to percive reality clearer whilst living in freeze mode and over reading the room on every situation

I'm just trying to figure out why my parents ask for so much from me but completely forget that I have 2 other brothers who are capable, I have a family I'm trying to take care of and it's so taxing. I genuinely feel like the black sheep with benefits