Great information

i have this but I'm a teen

My daughter doesn't speak at all, to anyone.... Occasionally I might get one word

Thank you for sharing this, made me cry because I can relate. My daughter has selective mutism. We are working hard to help her work through it & hopefully overcome it soon. Sending to all ➕️❤️🙏.

Thank you for sharing. This video sums it up so well, for other parents that don't understand.

I didn't feel like myself and tense is a good description. Also, the struggle to participate in groups sounds too familiar.

Such a helpful video thank you. I also never had a diagnosis but in group settings feel unable to talk and don't feel like myself, I become an observer. I try to get around this by linking with one person and talking to them. I remember at university having heart palpitations before talking in seminars. But as I get older I feel less bothered about whether I fit into group settings and if people can't accept some people being quiet sometimes that's their issue.

I had selective mutism as a child and was silent till age 4-5 but then spoke with a stammer. I had no friends at school but was happy back home to tag along with a big group of children riding bikes up and down the avenue, making tents, climbing trees, going to the park etc. It didn’t seem to matter that I didn’t speak very much because we were always busy ‘doing’ things. Age 11 I decided I wanted to learn to ride horses…this suited me as horses don’t really rely on speech, again it’s mostly about knowing how to communicate through body language and basic sounds. After that I took music lessons which again, required no speech just practice, practice, practice (for years and years) and an ability to communicate through musical expression without words……I’m now a professional musician and have been for 40 yrs. I don’t make friends quickly or easily as my silence is so often misconstrued as hostility but on the whole, life has been very generous to me…..I’m always grateful for the opportunities I had to learn two wonderful skills highly relevant to anyone with selective mutism, horse riding and music.

Greeting from Poland :) Thank You for sharing Your feelings <3

Yet another awful awful name for a condition that kids will have enough of challenge to explain to the idiots.

How do i get rid of this its getting so bad and everyone is saying im going to grow out of it since i was maybe 5 but its getting to a point where i wont go to school anymore to avoid talking and i hate it. People call me names abt it and laugh when a teacher asks me a question. Its not just talking, me being around people makes me cry and feel very self conscious

I have selective mutism and my dad always yells at me for it, to the point where i avoid going out in fear of him yelling at me again.

Real, I had that as a kid

It looks like Max's website doesn't work anymore - does she have a new one? Or is she on Instagram? I would love to follow her advocacy work. This was a great video.

I had undiagnosed selective mutism as a child, I had no idea what was wrong with me, until I was about 30 and accidentally came across a post on tumblr that mentioned it, and I was like wow there's a name for what I had??

Hi I’m partially recovered from my selective mutism after having it since I was a baby and in 2016 at my appointment I didn’t speak at all so I wrote down the letters on a piece of paper for the optician and that helped! And in 2022 I actually spoke to the opticians out loud without being scared! :)

Glad this worked for this child, it's surprising what they can do sometimes. The opticians is my daughters worst appointment as she has autism and sm and HATES eye contact and they obviously have to look at her eyes. I usually crouch beside her and she whispers the letters to me and I repeat them. I'm not sure it would work for my daughter as she literally HATES the opticians, but I'll definitely give it a go! Thankyou x

My teen had a hard time with this appointment. The office is very educated about SM because an employee has a child with SM and educated the office. My husband came and held her hand since she was upset and quietly crying. They used the sign language chart while dad held her hand. I’m hoping next year coming up will be better since she will remember nothing bad will happen or hurt.

I wonder if the exampel with Alex, was reffering to the patients name or if it was a charater in a book or a toy you are working on together at the moment? (The thinking alloud question, exampel)

Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s encouraging to hear how you found a path to progress

if we establish a christian theocracy (which i’m guessing is what you want) you do realise that america will just be sent into the middle ages in terms of social progression, i.e., women must submit to their husbands in their marriages (‘Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.’- Ephesians 5:22) i guess you could argue that part of scripture can be wiggled around to have the husbands listen to their wives but they don’t necessarily have to, as says the scripture. The best reflection of what this would cause america to be like would be that of 1940’s-1950’s america, where affairs and disloyal partners were incredibly common in relationships. this isn’t a modern idea by any means this has been happening since the idea of keeping ‘one pure wife’ or ‘one pure husband’, domestic abuse would also skyrocket most likely because of the previously quoted bible verse (:3) and divorces would become illegal or heavily looked down upon (depending on the christian denomination you would like to use as the standpoint here but i’m guessing because i’m against you in this you could just choose the denomination that goes ‘nuh uh’ to any of my points even though the legality of divorce in christian society began when king henry VIII created the marriage act of 1540 which strayed away from the traditional views of the catholic church, thus creating the church of england, which is where most typical christians today base their views off of, which isn’t even the actual word of god but ‘oh well. we have to say whatever to counter the person blaspheming our god and if they say anything else then it’s okay man you’ll see on judgement day trust me we’ll be in a better place than you ((do you see what i’m doing do you see how childish you seem when you talk like this and act like this)) ). slavery would be legal and a perfectly reasonable thing to practice because of Ephesians 6:5-9 (‘Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.‘) and i mean i didn’t make that up, it’s there in the scripture. Also obviously homosexuality would have to be outlawed and same sex marriage would have to go too, (Leviticus 18:22 *cough* Leviticus 20:13 *cough* 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 *cough*) raising the suicide and depression rates of america by a considerable amount because ‘we need to obey christ1!1!1’ which i mean isn’t good for the population of america as a whole by any means but i guess if we want a christian theocracy this is what’s gonna happen. Furthermore abortion would be completely illegal (Exodus 20:13, Proverbs 6:16-17) even if it threatens the potential mother and the potential child’s life (think of if this was your wife and you had to deal with her going through the birth, with it potentially killing your wife and the child in a couple of hours due to complications that could have been avoided through modern medicine and modern understanding) but yeah let’s let christ be our governing force im sure this would go great for american society over ‘biden’s america’ which a lot of you like to whine about

Thank you

Thank you! My dad always says “just speak it’s not that hard, all people do it” like. Stfu

Can you please spell out the name of your website ? Thanks.

Thank you, this is very helpful

Thank you for this video.

Lucy I know you remember me zofia I love your chanal

Im 47 i have suffered all my life. Anything thats important to me i cannot talk about. If i do pluck up the courage to speak it come out very wrong. i have no control when the anxiety wave hits me. Totally overwhelming. Eye contact can be enough to cripple me. People think im unapproachable, im very alert so people think im staring or looking at them. Every day is a massive challenge just walking round town. Psychological warfare!!

Yes, my daughter is like this, she doesn’t talk at all when I am around. She talks a bit more in absence of me!

So.. I’m 15 and I still have sm..

Hello, Lucy! Thank you so much for sharing this strategy! My daughter is stuck in the whisper this year and your advice was God sent!

Thanks for this video!! It's hard when you don't know how to help them!

Helpful to know. Thank you.

i have it and i was diagnosed with it by someone bc my parents brought me to see someome bc yea and i feel lonely like all the time i have barley and friends i dont have any siblings and like i always feel like everyone hates me and makes fun of me and i always cry over really little things that dont matter and everyone has asked me all my life why dont u talk and i have never spoken to my uncle before idkw im just too scared even know he did nothing wrong and i have also never met someone that also has it bc nobody understands me and its really frustrating aswell as im always to scared to say no to someone or to answer questions i said idk to all of them and im really loud in the house and energetic along people im comfortable with but with others i just cant talk and idk why everyone just hates me well it feels like it anyway i have never done anything to them

I tried to explain to my mom, but she still thinks Im selfish and rude.

my child cannot say any of those hello to any adults especially. very hard thanks for your videos

Thank you Jo and Lucy

My girl have signs of selective mutism she only speak when teacher ask her qn.if not she mute to her classmates out of the school gate she behave bubbly and talkative again.. to the same teacher and classmate

What about the link between Selective Mutism and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) as a tool to avoid a demand?

Can being molested cause that?

What about Lockdown? Fear and anxiety in adults. Masks, having to keep distance. Not being allowed to have contact with other children. And even when back in preschool/ nursery, having to line up and only being able to mix with three others in a group. Cleaning rituals. A time of madness for sure and must have had an effect.

Just to chime in and state many children with SM don't grow out of it. Such as myself who never realized why I'm so quiet tell my 30's, and later to accept that I'm Autistic.

Very creative 👍👍, your commitment and imaginative ideas touch the hearts ♥. Thank you for sharing! Lovely greets from Germany 👵

Hi can you recommend any online resources for adults with selective mutism outside if social media? Thank you

Hello, I am from Germany, a grandmother from a 5 year old girl, who does not speak in kindergarten for 2 years. Thank you very much for sharing your knowless and ideas!!! In Germany there are only a few teachers, who are able to understand a child with selective mutism, and they could learn a lot from your amazing inspirations. Thank you very very much for sharing ❣❣❣I will share it, too.

I was selectively mute and life was hell. When I was old enough, I started using alcohol, which temporarily lessened the anxiety enough to allow me to be around people and to try to interact with them. But that turned into 25 years of alcohol abuse, and life was still hell. I'm almost 50 now. 6 years sober. I still don't talk and have no friends, but I have found peace in accepting that I'm not "normal". I figured out, too, that I am autistic. A huge weight has lifted now that I know the why of it all.

Thank you so much your videos are so helful to my 3 year old with SM .

I had selective mutism from kindergarten up until 4th grade. Looking back, I think it started after I had the preschool teacher from hell who would yell at me a lot and expect perfection in everything I did. Oh, I just want to go hug my 5-year-old self and tell her she didn’t deserve the treatment she got! ❤

Exactly me. I want to talk but I don’t have a choice I physically just cant

I hate having selective mutism