Thank you for your bravery in sharing. Amazing to hear you’re in a better place.

I was looking a method to end it and i fiund it quick and painless. It is giung to be over for me soon. I am done

I really hate how KZbin age restricts videos like this when so many teens struggle with suicidal ideation.

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😊😊😊

Trauma causes individuals to be stuck in a altered State usually just before the incident and years afterwards

How did he treat you I'm also APS

Bloodline personality disorder

PTSD depression and anxiety

Now studying myself for central state hospital in Petersburg VA

Alcohol and suicide attempt

Substance abuse and mental health department been down same road sissy

Crossroads mental health department lunenburg VA in training

Thank you, Emma. Your honesty, empathy, is so appreciated.

Beautiful video. My own experience is the verbal attacks from bullies of years ago. Those memories are like angry wasps in my head, and I feel like it's the only way to shut them up. I'm seeing a doctor this week about it, but can't stop thinking of ways to go quickly and successfully. I'm still here tho so there's a chance I can be salvaged in time.

I find myself here to get a better understanding of the new & dark version of me that I’ve become. It’s because of trauma and my disbelief that I’m deserving of good things of life is fading I’m at this point of wanting to end my own suffering. But I’m grateful for this video. Thank you for sharing your experience as I resonate with aspects of feelings you had that leading up to your attempt. I don’t have a husband, children, or close friends. I have a dog and work. And even now I feel I’m failing my colleagues and not doing as good as I could being a dog mom. My dog is what keeps me here, mainly because I don’t trust others will care for him as much as I do now. But it gets harder everyday. My counselor said I need to talk to others and to help carry the burden. Why would others want to enter the darkness I’m surrounded by when I don’t even want to be in it. I don’t want to burden nor taint others with my problems. They have problems of their own. I care for others I really do. Nowadays it’s harder to be there for them when I can be there for myself.

❤

thanks for posting this :)

You seem like a lovely person….i wish I could talk to you and make you feel better.

Hey thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry you are (or were) a fellow traveler on this road. I really feel for you, but another part of me can't relate to this story at all. You have mountains of evidence that contradict your narrative for yourself. You have academic and professional treatment. You have a loving family. You're very pretty, and you're obviously very smart and well-spoken. Now, I understand how a person can concoct a personal narrative that discounts all of that. You can't logic your way out of your feelings after all. But what does a person do when they don't receive countervailing evidence to their negative opinion of themselves? I'm 34/m, live with my mother, literally work as a delivery driver at a pizza place. I can't even excel here, because I can't wake up on time under any circumstances whether I get 6 hours of sleep or 12. I take a handful of pills every day for medical problems. I'm overweight, in debt and spend all my willpower just surviving the day. Zero romantic prospects, and I stopped dating altogether 8 years ago due to being serially cheated on. There's a thousand other things but I've whinged on enough. I think I'm accurately weighing the balance when I conclude that MY life isn't worth living. When you categorically tell me that my estimation is wrong, I ask why? And how? I had an OD in 2015. I still don't feel better. I feel worse. And I'm too afraid to just put a gun to my head and pull the trigger, though I desperately wish I could. That's the ultimate irony. Too afraid of oblivion or punishment to leave the constant pain behind.

The whole “Be strong” stigma is so f*ck3d up! Sometimes maybe more times than most you feel so weak. That alone can drive you to wanting to end it all.

thank 🧡 you very understandable ! yet it's been 57 1/2 yrs being everyone's dirt underfoot having a faith keeping me alive pls allow me it

OFFS get on with this

thing is most therapists are shit at dealing with suicidal ideation and never been there themselves so they make it worse. I’ve even taken courses on it myself for what they lead a bout it and what I learned didn’t really impress me much. people are afraid of death, even more so suicide. we need a major overhaul of our mental health training for therapists. i know there are good ones out there, but i have yet to find a therapist that impressed me with their help around it. Im so tired of people saying talk to someone- then you do and no one cares and you feel way worse. nature and god and animals. best healers in the world. go hug a tree and pray. if you have a good therapist- ask them to train others!

I'm glad you are still here with us how did you get help

Thank you for sharing your story. Appreciate it.

The judgement that suicide is selfish is a cruel misunderstanding of the disease by people who have never experienced it. I hope you continue to get better!

Thus video found in good time. Because it is exactly how you mentioned it...your vision is soo clouded and sometimes i am so fixated on some narrative that, if someone tells me otherwise I would just ruthlessly ignore it or deny it or just say they are mocking me. Even my own positive thoughts are shut down myself when I am in that sort of mindset. Thanq for opening up❤

I think it's fairly cold hearted that you post a video like this but then don't respond to people in your comments who are suicidal. Jesus christ give them a link, a word or something.

She is pretty.

Emma you have sad eyes❤❤❤❤

Sharing your story with the world is such a brave act. I wish I could overcome my fear of sharing some of my stories with the hope it could help someone else. Thank you!

Thank you for talking about the idea of suicide being a selfish act.

Hi Emma, I have only come across your channel today and I found your videos very reassuring but I am at the same time a bit sad noticing that you haven't made any videos for about 2 years I hope you are well and hope you make more videos soon And I wish you all the best.

Thank you!

believe in jesus for forgiveness of sins

I e been told recently that I’m just being annoying. I don’t know how to cope with that on top of everything else. I’m going through some of the worst depression I’ve ever experienced. I feel like I’m a burden. I really just want to get away.

Its absolute torment to feel in such a dark place. You can feel shaky inside as you feel taken over by despair and feel there’s no way back

Thank you

🥰

Hello Emma! Just found your video...hope you are doing well and your life is good!

Wow. I love your video., It just feels so real and raw and honest and full of care and love and integrity and courage. Thank you xxxx

Islam does not allow suicide,you will see mostly no one in islam thinks about suicide

Mental traumas happen and heal unattended by a professional, unlike physical traumas where the broken leg or shoulder gets set and made sure it heals properly. The way mental traumas are experienced in our semi-crude society is how physical traumas were before there were doctors: no cast for your broken leg, maybe a stick you found to help walk. Most likely prognosis is death or a realy mangled up healing job. The therapy for broken minds comes after the bad healing already happend and people have adapted to living with those badly healed injuries. Your video had me think of what trauma is in a better way, I'm just building on it and fine tuning it. Paper cuts are traumas, they heal better if we put peroxide on them right away, but we don't seek a doctor. We don't know how to conceptualize mental traumas and so we can't make them better as they happen. It does indeed help to think of them in terms of physical injury. Won't die of a 1000 paper cuts but sure life will be miserable.

Consult with your Doctor and go for a "Yellow" Vitamin IV drip.

does she say how she attempted it or go into details of how it failed? Sorry if I missed it, I’m in a rushed place and skimming through as many videos as possible. I do like her message, and hope it helps alot of people .. I also think it’s ok for some people to die. I let someone down who was very innocent & pure and now they’re dead so I know I don’t deserve to live. And that’s ok. That person matters way more than me & maybe I’ll get to see his ghost if I die. I also think it’s ok if someone is terminally Ill and doesn’t want to go through all that w/drs taking care of them until they die, or have family remember them in that state. That can be a suffering process & not very graceful. I do hope most people seek help though.. not all cases are the same

Your soul is lovely. Thank you for sharing of yourself and your journey. You truly are lovely.

Feel like that every day

I'm 64 and the self hatred started when I was 14 and will never go away. I know that and have learned to accept it. I cycle between normal and depressed, sometimes severely, every 10 days or so. Anti-depression medication is useless, I would love to feel normal all the time, but medication has never done that for me. My parents created this self-hatred by physically and emotionally abusing me (I'm a very gentle soul but had to live with that as a child). They were young when they had me. "Children raising children." I've forgiven them but I can't ever forget. The depression has made me super empathic. That's not a good thing. I am easily triggered by extreme violence that I read or hear about. Unfortunately the world is filled with evil people. I feel normal right now, but I'll be glad when I am dead. I have no fear of dying or being dead. At least it's not this.

Thank you for sharing your story. It means a lot to me understanding. I lost my wife oktober 2023 after years of being depressed. She committed suicide. It's still hard for me to understand why. But your explaining helps. God bless you ❤

Sad that such a beautiful, intelligent woman could feel so bad about herself.