That does not sound like a relationship that is equitable and healthy. I'm so sorry you're experiencing that behavior from the person you're supposed to be able trust and be respected by. It's most certainly not okay to be treated that way.

Oh most definitely 💔

I’m so glad you find them helpful ❤

You're so welcome!

@@doncorleone3901 thank you for sharing your perspective.

That’s awful. I’m so sorry you had to endure that.

You're very welcome! I'm so glad it was helpful.

What a beautiful and inspirational story. Thank you for sharing!

That's awful. I'm so very sorry. You were wise to move away from that relationship.

At some point, you have to accept that by not divorcing her, you are as bad as she is.

@elderberry63 it's sound like you no it all

@henrybarnes6325 naw lil bro, I just understand now that a woman cannot love a man that she doesn't respect, and she will never respect a man who has no self respect. Eventually you will stop hiding behind the shield of false hope. It's probably a comfortable place for you these days.

@elderberry63 I see you want to be watsapp take more of my comments and do something about it elderberry 63

This! Yes. Those who are far along the narcissistic spectrum most definitely manipulate others with "selective memory." I'm so sorry you experienced that.

@@Katherine_02 great recommendation! Thank you!

@monicahumpal1824 I'm a betrayed, and while I know that it's important to work on me right now, I know that I need to also understand what my spouse is going through. I'm very thankful for their channel.

I understand completely. So was I. It’s a horrible place to be. I’m so sorry.

My friend 25yrs of happy married life with lots of love,he cheated her don't know if he gifted her, with in few months she passed the matter to her Friends husband and came to an end, but she's not able to get back normal husband, but the mental torture l have undergone, gaslighting, blame shift

Thank you for your comment. This was an earlier video on my channel that was geared specifically for betrayed wives. I’ve since kept gender language more neutral as I recognize both men and women view my videos. You should see that shift in more recent videos.

I can completely understand why you're feeling the way you do right now. It's natural to have intrusive thoughts about yourself, especially in comparison to the affair partner(s). When infidelity happens, it often feels like a personal rejection, and that can really hurt our self-esteem. But the truth is, infidelity says more about the person who is unfaithful than it does about you. I've mentioned this before (I believe in the video as well), but it's important to remember that the affair partner isn't better-they're just different. And, from what you've shared, it sounds like they are very different in ways that may not even be about you or your relationship. While I won’t pretend to understand all the reasons behind his choice, I do know that people sometimes seek out an affair partner who contrasts with their partner in some way. Those reasons are usually about confusion, unmet needs, or personal struggles within the person having the affair, rather than a reflection of your worth or value. Your worth is not determined by his choices-it’s determined by you. I encourage you to try and separate how you feel about yourself from his actions. If you’re finding that the emotional toll is becoming overwhelming, and especially if it’s affecting your mental health or well-being, I really recommend seeking professional support. Rebuilding self-esteem after infidelity is a long and often difficult process, but a counselor or therapist can guide you through it. You don’t have to do this alone.

I'm so very sorry. I truly do understand your feelings. It may not be much of a consolation for you, but it really does get better with time. As the two of you move forward in a healthy way, those feelings will begin to dissipate and, hopefully, you'll be able to rekindle intimacy. Take care xoxo

I understand that comparing ourselves to others can feel like a natural response after infidelity, especially when it seems like our partner chose someone else "over" us. It’s hard not to feel that way, but I’ve come to realize that the affair isn’t really about the other person at all. It’s more about what’s going on inside your partner and those who are unfaithful. Often, what they’re searching for isn’t about a lack in their relationship but rather something deeper that they haven’t learned how to address in a healthy way. They may seek a quick fix elsewhere, but that doesn’t mean they’ve found something better. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking the other person has something we lack, but that’s a misconception. The truth is that someone who strays is often like a cup with a hole in the bottom-they're trying to fill a void that nothing external can truly satisfy. I don’t know the specifics of your situation, and I can't say whether your partner genuinely prefers the affair partner. What I do know is that this other person isn’t worth sacrificing your well-being over. You deserve so much more than that. Please consider seeking help for your eating disorder; it’s important to prioritize your health and happiness. Don’t let this situation drag you down. You, my beautiful friend, are deserving of all the good things life has to offer.

@@monicahumpal1824 thank you so much for replying and for your kind words. It is difficult for me to work through because i had to deal with a lot of rejection growing up which made this hurt even more, as it feels like all those thoughts that i always had of not being good enough have been proven to be true by this event. I am trying very hard not to take it personally and all that i can really do is to keep loving my person, because i really do, and to accept it as just a bad thing that happened without letting it take over my entire mind. You have helped more than you will ever know, thank you💙

It is working as far as I know. What issue are you having?

@@monicahumpal1824 it’s saying link broken.The page is not showing.I also signed up for the waiting list for group coaching 🙏🏾

@@hadasah4194 I'm so sorry. Perhaps the link in this video is not working. Here is the link to my group. Hopefully this works! And, I'll let you know when I do another group session! facebook.com/groups/wiveswhostay

I'm sure it does make him uncomfortable. But, that's something he has to deal with. His discomfort is not your responsibility. Try not to deny yourself opportunities to ask questions if you need to. In other words, try not to let his discomfort lead you to not ask for what you need to heal.

Your best is all you can do. I’m so sorry you were betrayed. It was NOT your fault - it was 100% your partner’s choice.

I’m sure that’s part of it. Most likely, there are several reasons why someone doesn’t disclosed the entire truth at one time.

I can't assume a motive for wanting physical intimacy beyond a genuine desire for connection. If there are other reasons behind it, I would not know. In my case, it was part of healing our relationship and was a beneficial experience. However, I have had clients who experienced a lot of confusion by engaging in physical intimacy after infidelity very soon after finding out. I can understand that response as well. Rebuilding connection involves a lot of facets: rebuilding physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, friendship, safety, trust, vulnerability, etc. Physical intimacy and friendship are just two parts of what helps us feel connected with our partner. If you are not ready to work on that part of your relationship then express that to your partner and share that you are simply not ready.

I think it’s important that everyone ask the questions they NEED to know the answers to. Everyone is different. I simply recommend that they stop to consider the ramifications of asking those questions before they ask them. If you don’t want to know the details, don’t ask. Do what’s best for you!

@@monicahumpal1824 what we think we need & what we really need are usally 2 different things.

@@monicahumpal1824 looking back I see so many lies she told me. If you only knew what l put up with because I was taught to be "nice" to woman.

@@kat-601 Oh, I can imagine! I grew up in the South too, so "politeness" is pretty much in our DNA. I really believe in the power of kindness (or at least, avoiding cruelty), even in difficult situations. But of course, that's just my perspective. That said, I do think there’s a delicate balance between staying true to your nature and not letting people walk all over you. It's completely possible to speak the truth with love and still be assertive and firm. You can set clear boundaries and uphold them without being aggressive or harsh. I can hear how much pain you’ve been through because of her behavior, and you’re right-it wasn’t fair. But if you responded with kindness despite everything, I think that really speaks to your strength and your character. It's not always easy, but I admire that you're able to keep that in mind.

Yes - I'm sure rationalization comes into play when someone is knowingly hurting the one they love.

For me, it did get easier over time. Early on, though, intrusive thoughts were abundant and it was hard to not let them pull me away from the moment.

I’m so sorry you’re enduring this. It is hard not to feel that way. Keep leaning into positive thoughts about yourself. I know it’s hard to hear this, but time will help.

@@stephanieb7490 have you joined my Facebook group? We have some members in that situation.

@@monicahumpal1824 I haven’t. I don’t have Facebook. If I were to get it, how could I find the group?

That makes sense that you'd want her to know. It is 100% up to you whether you do or not. Just be wise with whether you do it or not - and how you do it.

I know it's hard. We are literally punished for a crime we didn't commit. It's not fair. Not at all.

I understand. It takes time and everyone heals on their own timetable.