I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time. I've been there, and I understand just how awful it is. I hope that you can take this time to make a change for the better. Recovery is worth it and you are more capable than you think

For the love of god: talk to a doctor! Dont wait until its so late, you'll spiral and never feel "sick enough" to get help. Its harder to get out the longer you wait, so please, talk to a doctor about it. I always regret not telling someone when i first developed guilt :(

@@alexandrina2485 I've already been in treatment for the severe depression I developed a few months ago. I have a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist, I'm seeing them regularly. Maybe I'm lucky I'm already seeing them. The only thing I have to do is being honest with them as much as possible. I was anxious about telling it to my psychiatrist, but when I first did, he saw it as an aim I set for myself. He didn't get the dark side of it. Maybe I surpassed some details without realizing, Idk. So at our last session, I tried to tell him how eating makes me feel bad. He told me my weight loss and calorie intake were not that bad. He didn't understand what I'm exactly going through. He asked me, what I'm exactly dissatisfied with, as he saw me I'm kinda succeeding, going in the direction I had wanted. I again told him how I felt bad about eating and he was like "yeah I got it know" and remembered that I already told him a few minutes ago. About calorie counting, he advised me to cut carbs from my diet, so that I wouldn't be worried about cals anymore. I told him do you know how calorically dense is peanut butter? He told me that I still don't need to calculate, I could have a spoon everyday and not think about it. But I mean he doesn't make sense because the exact thing can be applied to any food, any carbs. When I heard him talking that way, my protective inner voice went like: "sir, you're going down a really bad path for me here" as I previously read cutting some foods are already a disordered eating. He left most parts to my therapy. I think he doesn't get eating disorders or that diet culture is so ingrained, normalized within us that one, even doctors can't realize how bad it can be or how bad it can go. When I talked to another doctor for blood test, the female doctor in the team looked at me as if I made it, with envy, when I told them I had low appetite and was eating only one meal in a day. All these things started with low appetite, btw. I think my psychologist gets me, understands what I'm going through. She doesn't act in invalidating or envious ways. She asked me for some info about my babyhood, how I was cut from breastfeeding and how the transition to solid food went. She told me the reason she asked for this info is that our relationship with food is so fundamental and deep. I talked to my mom about it and she told me some answers. I'm waiting for the next session to tell her. Sometimes the joy of starvation is so good that I don't even like eating, it feels so much better than any taste I can get from food. People think I'm trying to restrict or give up some foods but it's the other way around, I'm trying to convince myself to eat. I know I'm not sick enough. A part of me wants to be but I don't understand the reason yet. My therapist says this is about my need for control, maybe it is so. Regardless, it's making me feel better and better, I don't want to give it up.

@@alexandrina2485 btw, I completely forgot to say this: I hope you are doing better and getting some help too 🤍 If you'd like to tell me what you are going through, I'm open to listen. 🤍

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Unfortunately, I understand that I might not be able to fully convince you to stop this unhealthy cycle, although I truly wish I could. But, I have experienced these unhealthy thoughts, and I can assure you, they are not worth it because you will either live with them and be miserable all your life, or you will go through recovery. I say this with love and kindness. I don't want to be someone harsh and pressing. I just really want to convey the fact that living with an eating disorder is just awful and that I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.

@sarahbaciu so is it likely that I'm experiencing some early signs? I am exhausted of the battle so I just gave up the fight for a while. I was also triggered bc of that psychiatrist that I started a get worse diet. But I can't blame him, maybe it would've happened either way. You must know this thing with ED very well as I'm sure no one can stop me from doing it. I'm at day 9, I have 22 days left, I'm curious how far I can go. After that I'm going to stop and go back to more "healthy" eating. But the numbing, euphoria etc. is so good, I've been feeling so much happier since I started. Maybe it's the honeymoon phase as some call it 🤔 btw I got my period so at the same time I'm also relieved that things aren't that bad yet. Thank you for your love and kindness ❤

It can be hard to offer advice when I know little about your story. However, I would say that you should discover and learn to appreciate who you are outside of your eating disorder and your body. For example, I realized that if I am not anorexic, I am a good friend, a funny person, a helpful person, a smart person and more! YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN AN ED!!

I am sorry that you are going through this. I totally understand what it is like for you and your family to be tired and hurt by your ED. I hope that you can find the strength in you to recover. I know it is hard, but you have to survive through recovery to be able to thrive later.

@@sarahbaciu I’m very happy to say that I feel better from when i made this comment. I see my doctor in 2 days and I’m ready to tell the truth even though it’s so hard. I need to recover and If I don’t help myself do that then I will never be able to fully. Im hanging on right now but I think it’s going to be ok.

Aww thank you sm!! You are so sweet

I totally agree. Lately, I've realized how quickly "norms" and expectations have changed online, and how they keep changing so often. We have to stop falling for the traps to change ourselves because it will never be enough according to social media

It's so unfortunate to know that so many women have issues with the way their bodies look. You deserve the ability to AT LEAST accept your body. Remember that there really is no such thing as a perfect body. The idea of "perfect" is different to everyone and it changes often too. Wishing you luck and strength xx

How underweight are you? Because you could be in the healthy range not even knowing it. The range is wide. I’m 110 and 5’3 at 14 and am trying to lose weight because I have a chubby build. I’m trying to get to 95 which is in the healthy range.

I'm so sorry that your daughter is going through that. I understand that an ED can truly take a toll on all members of the family. I would say that the things my parents did made me a little bit more motivated to get through to the end of recovery. However, I wouldn't say that it was the most essential part. The essential part is finding the desire to recover within yourself. I understand that is probably not your favourite answer as your daughter does not see the need to recover. However, I recommend that you ask her why she wants to hold onto her ED. Is it so she can feel validated? A sense of control? A distraction? If you help her become aware of the deeper reasons, she may have more ease rising above it. Also, definitely refrain from making comments on her body like "you are too skinny". Instead, tell her that what she is doing is detrimental to her health. If she begins to recover, even then, don't make comments on her body, even if they are positive. Wishing you all the best❤

@@lemondedetr Awww thank you so much!!

@@sarahbaciu You are more than welcome. Creating a safe space being able to communicate effectively, allowing people to resemble yourself along the way.... it is hard, and it is brave to do. You sure deserve every compliment it is given to your bravest self.

@@kenz.aldc11 Thank you!!

@@djuniwersalcziken Wow! This is incredible. I’m so glad that you are realizing that recovery is worth it. It’s where the biggest shift happens, in my opinion. It’s amazing that you got some drops too!! I also hope to have my own family one day! Wishing you all the best!

You are so kind!! Thank you so much! I hope you can offer the same words to yourself! xx

wow me too!!

@@subliminalzzz Thank you so much for your support! I hope that the video helped you and that you are doing well! ❤️❤️

So happy to read this❤. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING

Aww thanks! I hope to share my words with more people soon!

Choosing recovery is the most important part. You can do this. Remember, even if the thoughts don't go away for some time, it doesn't mean you are failing! What is important is that you don't let the thoughts control you! When your thoughts tell you that crisps are bad, you have to try to eat them anyway!

Hey!! Let's not post this babe! Thanks :)

WARUM kommentiert man sowas? 1. Ist das super triggernd für sie und 2. Hat sie doch gesagt, dass sie noch zunimmt?! Lass doch ein junges Mädchen in Ruhe heilen, ohne, ihren Körper zu kommentieren

The world wasn't built in one day!

Ew get a life

Schämst du dich nicht? Die ist si viel jünger aber verhandelt sich viel älter und schlauer

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you chose recovery YOU QUEEN ❤ You can do it!

@@sarahbaciu ❤️

Thank you so much!

It breaks my heart to hear that you have been struggling for so long. I truly hope that you will find the strength in you to recover ❤ Also, thank you so much for your amazing words. You seem like such a kind person. Sending you much love xx

Awww! You also seem so sweet! I hope you are doing well! ❤

I am not a professional, so I cannot be certain. However, I have had a professional say it to me: if you are willing to hurt yourself so much, there is a purpose deeper than just the way you look. The reason could be something completely different from what you see in my video and that's ok! It also might take some time to find out this deeper reason which was most certainly the case for me. However, everyone is different and on their own journeys, so I cannot speak for everyone.