#1 Self Care tip for Chronic Fatigue Recovery

[@CFSHealth]

Comment below your biggest takeaways from this video 👇

[@stoferb876]

Good advice. It reminds me of how before I got ill and really had to by necessity become really really selfish, I used to feel guilty for not answering calls from strangers (usually trying to sell something or some scam). I haven't felt that guilt in a long time. A couple of days ago I just blocked yet another call and suddenly remembered how I would have felt about it three years ago, before my peripheral nervous system really crashed. And it just dawned on me how utterly ridiculous that guilt was then. Why did I feel some kind of need to please strangers that only want to trick me for money? Weird. Some very convoluted people pleasing going on there. But yes, taking care of oneself is the only way forward. It's really "selfishness" that has healed me the most.

[@janerowena4023]

I don't think taking care of oneself is being selfish. Being selfish is when you only think of yourself and no one else. However I identify with some of what you say you experience - like learning not to answer the phone when you are not up to it❤

[@pamelamaylearmonth1662]

A good way to look at feeling selfish...still having some challenging times . I did turn down a friends kind offer of something recently that would have taxed my energy..spoilt it by saying I feel bad for letting him down when he already said he understood ! Good advice Toby thanks! X

[@martindaveiga1402]

Selffullness perspective was great! People pleasing is a manipulative way to get validation externally. Hard to make a shift from people-pleasing to honoring yourself, but its worth it!

[@karendeluce9131]

Being a people pleaser was so ingrained within me that I didn't even consciously consider what I wanted / needed: ever. My default setting was always being perceptive and thinking about others' needs. I have worked hard on this and it now seems weird that i ever did that. Now I have started to ask myself what I want in every situation and making a plan from there. You are right, you don't need to be an arsehole and i still consider other people's need too but mine are always front and centre in my choices now. I agree with the manipulation thing. Even though i wasn't conscious of it at the time, i knew that if i was super nice to people all the time, they were much more likely to be super nice to me all the time and it used to be important to me for people to really like me. Thanks Toby. I listen / watch every week. Videos like today show me that your words have really sunk in since I have followed you because I have come a long way with things like this.

[@KarenWood-q7u]

I love these little 'check in' videos, for bite-size pieced tips I can expand on thinking about in my own time, and for the refreshing of ideas that I am learning and making a part of my life. My take away is thinking about why I always felt I needed to people-please. The answer my head gives me is 'because you believed that everyone was more important than you, and that they knew better than you'. Where that lack of self esteem came from is a whole other rabbit hole, but I'm not bothered about following it - I know better now, and as Toby says, the people that matter in my life accept when I say 'no, not right now, but another time will be good'. I particularly love the 'if you can't put yourself first, at least put yourself equal'. Simple but effective!

[@SRut-tt7vl]

Fabulous paradigm shift! Love the concept of at least being “equal” with your own self care vs others. When caregiving kids or aging parents it’s difficult to actualize putting yourself “first” but “equal” is golden.

[@jenniferfoster2200]

Good reminder to care for ourselves and say no if needed to overdoing things. Thanks.

[@lauragrimwood8747]

'self sacrifice' has been my frustrated summary of myself and my time recently, and i like your word of me being 'equal' ,seems realistic and a form of self love and respect. asking for equal from those who may have overlooked that of me, my time, and assisting my healing when my body restricts me.

[@andreaborealis]

Great reminder - I'll keep "self-fullness" because I think I intuitively know when I have it and when I don't since starting the program. When I'm full I have more energy as well. Working with my kids to create more independence (ie shift expectations from me doing things for them to taking responsibility for themselves).

[@loveishappiness7330]

Thank you Toby! I think we all need to remember this. I like ALL your ideas on this!

[@CFSHealth]

Glad it was helpful!

[@vestaclarke4587]

Loved the emphasis on self care.. thank you

[@CFSHealth]

Glad it was helpful!

[@cathyjennings5580]

What is SELF ? AND OUR PHYSICAL BODY PROTECTION & Repair ???

[@akashrahane1779]

Love it thanks Toby ❤

[@CFSHealth]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@alexandrecouture2462]

Interesting, thank you!

[@CFSHealth]

Glad you liked it!

[@JacquiQ]

That was great Toby ❤

[@fixme7230]

Amazing topic. I had a bad crash, after that I got Ptsd and was wondering if that’s a hindrance for recovering? This is what’s putting me on the fence to join or not, I haven’t seen any recovery story about someone talking about ptsd, yet. Either way, super helpful video.

[@cathyjennings5580]

Personal SELF CARE?? SELF-RESPECT ???? & PHYSICAL BODY???

[@stacymeyers8821]

Good video! So, for 7 years with fatigue, I could no longer do things for other people. And psychologically, it is said that serving others is an anti-depressant. If only focused on ourselves for that long, trying to find a cure, doing the program, not being able to live life, enjoy things, has created depression. How would you say we balance putting ourselves first for recovery but also trying to be a friend, spouse, etc... relationships are meant to be give and take. So I want to get to that healthy balance, not all focused on me.. because I have been forced to be self-centered for 7 years with this illness and don't want that to continue.. I suppose it goes with the "once or cup is full" but hmmm thoughts?

[@janetholmes]

some times it's just being a friend to yourself first. the more people around you see you growing and stabilizing, the more at ease they'll naturally be too. you can slowly build up to more! just remember boundaries help both parties know what to expect, those who love you will understand! consider your gifts too, there's always small things you can do over time that show you care, like crocheting hats or drawing a funny picture for someone. sending a funny video or song to loved ones only takes about 30 seconds. even donating $3 a month to a charity close to your heart makes a difference

[@stacymeyers8821]

@@janetholmes Thank you. Jesus is the only reason I'm still here too sister. Blessings ❤️