10 Funny Stories From Ancient Rome

[@Sorcerers_Apprentice]

You didn't mention the funniest part of #9 - Claudius was punished by his superiors, not for losing the battle, but for killing the chickens because they were regarded as sacred oracles.

[@artinrahideh1229]

+"Thousands have died" -"very sad" +"and some chickens" -"you're gonna get crucified"

[@akechijubeimitsuhide]

Tfw you kill the Riverwood chicken

[@skorpion1117]

Hannibal: "I've defeated your army, here are my conditions." Senator Ditkovich: "Give me rent."

[@haristahir3472]

Bully maguire moment.

[@martijnstuart95]

Cicero, living proof yo momma jokes have been a thing for at least 2000 years

[@technovelo]

At the moment KZbin is showing a graph when I hover over the progress bar at the bottom. This shows a sharp peak with the tag "Most replayed" right on the joke. I wasn't the only one running that back for a bonus laugh. XD

[@TheSkyGuy77]

It was probably one of the first jokes ever told

[@shokan7178]

Cicero is not alive tho

[@faisalkamal4319]

just like yo mama

[@cupidsfavouritecherub9327]

Damn Cato really asked for his own humiliation lmao i know he cried himself to sleep that night

[@akechijubeimitsuhide]

He also called Caesar a drunkard after this incident, even though he himself was a known alcoholic XD

[@KTChamberlain]

Damn, I knew Cicero respected the Spartans, but I had no idea he could come up with one-liners that they would be proud of.

[@jaodasaveiroprata2764]

Imagine respecting Spartans of all peoples lmao

[@KTChamberlain]

@@jaodasaveiroprata2764 True, although I should note that Cicero respected the stability of Sparta and how their kings had checks and balances. Still, Cicero's savage one-liner would do the Spartans proud.

[@userofthetube2701]

Cicero was arguably the greatest orator in the history of Rome. And he was very much capable of destroying someone with just the power of his words.

[@paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530]

The only better scenario we could imagine would be Gaius getting letter from Catos mother

[@andrewr2468]

Cato’s parents died when he was a child. He lived with his uncle for most of his life. So I imagine getting a letter from his mother would all the more disturbing.

[@paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530]

@@andrewr2468 so lets change mother with uncle and... well

[@andrewr2468]

@@paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530 He... he died too. When Cato was a late teen.

[@paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530]

@@andrewr2468 Ffs, no wonder why Cato the Younger was such a brat

[@theodosiusii408]

Now Caesar can say to Cato "I fucked your mom" with no irony

[@lemonfresh1135]

You could absolutely turn this into a substantial series, there are so many great anecdotes that have gone unmentioned. For instance, Jovian’s death by huffing paint, Honorius’ confusion over his chicken during the sack of Rome, Horatius Cocles’ time wasting stunt, Caracalla’s red wedding incident, Vedius Pollio’s collection of busts of married women (including Lepidus’ wife), Domitian’s black banquets and many more anecdotes ranging from the kingdom to the fall of the empire. Keep up the great vids man!

[@danielsch.5324]

Valentinian's two man-eating she-bears called "innocence" and "snowflake"!

[@lemonfresh1135]

@@danielsch.5324 The 4th century is full of stories like that, it seems that the chaotic condition of the empire made for a crucible in which absurd situations come to manifest themselves. This only continues into the byzantine period as there are tales of emperor Zeno being buried alive by his wife Ariadne and Constans II' assassination by having a soap dish smashed over his head lol.

[@danielsch.5324]

@@lemonfresh1135 Or Justin II literally turning insane and behaving like an animal! But I agree, the funny stories get crazier, the longer the empire lasts....even though there are very early gems too, Domitian "the fly assassin" or Caligula, "conqueror of the seas"

[@lemonfresh1135]

@@danielsch.5324 I completely forgot about Justin the Second, he would definitely top the list of mad byzantine rulers.

[@danielsch.5324]

@@lemonfresh1135 Imagine beeing the Eunuch that has to be in charge of him^^

[@GarfieldRex]

-Imperator, after all these years leading Rome to greatness, which do you think is your greatest achievement? -Ships in Amphitheatre go ding ding ding 👊😁

[@fitzer1881]

I always like the story of when cAesar just got to Britain(for the second time) , as he was leaving his ship his foot got caught in a net and he fell a couple feet onto the sand of the beach,infront of his whole army, and immediately got up, took a handful of sand and proclaimed “Britain , I have hold of you now!” , over 2000 years later , we still remember Julius Caesar having an embarrassing fall

[@TheRatOnFire_]

Pretty sure that happened in Africa, no?

[@fitzer1881]

@@TheRatOnFire_ yea sorry it was Africa during his civil war

[@laurentbergeronmusic]

There's also that time Cesar face planted when getting off of a boat

[@jet-blackjo2455]

This naval thing is so true, i played Total war: Rome and the Egyptians just kept destroying my fleets, should have used those chickens instead of eating them.

[@theshadowsagas3617]

"Always listen to the Chickens" Honorius: Allow me to introduce myself

[@weabootrash5891]

Maybe Honorius was actually the most wise of all of Rome's many Emperors, us mortals were just far too below his vast intellect to see it

[@JuliusCaesar888]

Asking for rent, Caesar being butthurt over Aquila, Cicero mom joking and Cato self owning were great.

[@nicmagtaan1132]

Tribune aquila is one of the conspirators who killed Caesar

[@joshintv3316]

yo bro i know u gunna blow up soon bro, content too good to ignore

[@MrSarki]

Exactly what I was gonna say

[@Imperator135]

yesssssss

[@HugoB1]

Hidden 💎

[@eztvlight1202]

Sigma gang

[@TheBobes]

I gambled with future. Perhaps even with destiny. I pressed the "subscribe" button in hopes Gods would bring us Funny Stories from Ancient Rome part 2.

[@spectrum1140]

Ah, no worries, I'll probably bring it in a few months.

[@sovietz99]

8 months later….

[@speedypichu6833]

It came, just took 12 months, never late than never

[@orthodox77]

Another funny story with Hannibal is when he was besieging Rome a field he was camped on was sold by one Roman citizen to another on a regular price with Hannibal and all his army.

[@feastguy101]

Sulla’s daughter has some pretty good ones too. Keep them coming!

[@JustinCage56]

What did she do exactly? :?

[@lateshpatil5307]

You mean Cornellia?

[@feastguy101]

@@lateshpatil5307 yup

[@1224chrisng]

@@JustinCage56 the real question is **who** did she do

[@LegioXXI]

Even after 2000 years, i can still hear the echo of Cato's humiliation after him hearing his sisters 'love letter'.

[@Jon-mc1sh]

Someone having historia civilis flashbacks with tribune aquila?

[@connorgolden4]

Glad I’m not alone. Can’t find which episode he was in.

[@rafael_lana]

@@connorgolden4 the episode is Ceasar as King :) kzbin.info/www/bejne/iZuVhp6pfcShias

[@nikinikipikipiki8547]

Ya

[@Kingofportals]

Cicero is a Chad, and Troll, he is also one of the best roasters of all time!

[@mikemurphy9960]

Excellent video and content, love to see your subs rise as I watch the videos. The response from Rome to Carthage after the defeat at Cannae, about charging them a fee for the land they were on is absolute legendary. Cheers from Canada.

[@mism847]

Love your channel. Heavily underrated.

[@IBPhoenix]

Telling you this will be the nest dovahhatty in the romaboo community, glad I got recommended early before the blow up.

[@darthsadow7836]

You should definitely make a series about weird roman stories and keep up the great videos there's not enough history KZbinrs

[@thessop9439]

NOW THIS IS QUALITY MATERIAL AND I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE VIDEO. I'M SUBBING

[@michaelfisher7170]

Augustus probably liked the spectacle....."what a time we had at that! You're welcome!" lol. Still a guy, interested not just in him important feats but his bad ass productions, too. :) And Valentinian could have profitted from anger management classes that were still 2000 years in the future. Poor guy.

[@loganbagley7822]

One of my favorites is when the emperor Honorius heard that "Roma" had perished, and he thought that Alaric and the Goths had killed his favorite chicken.

[@thessop9439]

I can see the Dovahatty influence !

[@silvertongue.242_99]

This lad cross dress to get into a party to seduce the host wife got caught by their mother 😂😂😂😂😭

[@itarry4]

Really I can't believe Hannibal thought the Romans would surrender after what they went through and did in the 1st Punic wars. Raising 4 whole armies and building 4 fleets of ships in stupidly short times.

[@thejackman687]

Love this channel and the Mark Felton References!

[@BiakSkull]

What do you mean you DIDNT INCLUDE THE GUARD GOOSE

[@duchessnoor]

I love your videos! Recently found them a little while ago and I’m hooked. You’re gonna blow up my dude!

[@ekszentrik]

I sacrificed a goat to this channel's success.

[@connorgolden4]

Subbed! Love your channel!

[@oqo3310]

Be wary about elgeballus, because our main source on him is Cassius Dio (a well-known slanderer), and because in general when you hear of an emperor doing crazy shit it's because the senate didn't like him and basically blackened his memory after his death.

[@Aaedion]

In so little time you gained more subs, great job

[@darwinrucker8488]

The whole naval shtick 😂

[@gandalfstormcrow8439]

"Come then, take back the republic from me if you can, tribune Aquila!"

[@intervjaurenh4060]

I love this channel

[@redtheftauto]

Love this video could easily be a series

[@CommissarMitch]

That Cicero part made me laugh

[@diego-bm7mi]

Congrats on 1k subsribers :)

[@ExAnimoPortugal]

Vespasian literally died of "cagamerdeira"

[@RaixsOreh]

I would subscribe to this channel, but I have to make sure if tribune aquila is alright with it first.

[@BiakSkull]

This better include the goose gaul proximity alarm

[@Soho_Minos]

Why wouldn't he listen to the chicken they're literally there just for being omen givers 😭

[@REVAN2338]

It should be noted he does not mean Emperor Claudius but Publius Clodius Pulcher.

[@carval51]

I was thinking that claudius too, until I remember this claudius lol

[@nooneshome8746]

Omg ..... The sacred chickens of skyrim is based in real life

[@Cluu_]

well now you have to do a darkest stories

[@petrilachristian5249]

Nice video ! Also if you are out of ideas i would like to watch a video in chronological order about all the assassinated roman emperors and the reasons why. Fan of your chanel ! Looking forward to your next videos

[@cdcdrr]

Senator: Who's your daddy? Cicero: Yo mama!

[@Phamtomdark]

Wasn't Caesar a man for every woman and woman to every man in Rome ? How is it a slight on the Emperor of Rome to give up that high octane Bussy if the First dude to be Emperor gave up the Bussy ?

[@torcaace]

Fuck it, i'm naming a band "Caesar's Bussy"

[@Phamtomdark]

​@@torcaace Punk Rock, is the obvious go to, but is it a triumvirate (band of three ) Lead, Bass, Drums ?

[@marcusluciliuscavallus328]

I read the title and immediately knew that the Clodius scandal would be in it.

[@itarry4]

Missed the fact the Roman in 9 also cut one of the chickess up after they wouldn't eat and the guts they used for divination were rotten before then throwing the rest is the Sea.

[@driplerthadripper]

Tribune aquallia is my favourite roman meme , I wish I wasn't the only history nerd I knew so I could use it more often although I should probably run that past tribune aquailla first anyway

[@Arti_Svan]

1. Valentinian - a good emperor killed by his own anger 04:07 2. Tribuine of Aquilla - Caesar is controlled by anger 05:22

[@minhquanphung9641]

6:30 sorry but how wild is guy lol.

[@pietrocasadei1778]

Nice video, very funny and interesting. Can you tell what are your source? thank you

[@marcelbruins5571]

number 3 made me almost crap my pants

[@humphreydoe3446]

Something I think would be interesting to cover is the political and cultural affect that Diocletian's reforms had on the Roman world.

[@Fat_garagem]

Ranking every Pop, please.

[@ghostlyjudge]

damn some of these count as burns XD

[@kelamullah1999]

I see I have been mentioned.

[@estebson]

Another hilarious story about Clodius (and arguably the only based thing he ever did his entire life) was when he, as a newly appointed Tribune of the Plebs, straight up vetoed Bibilus's farewell speech at the end of his consulship.

[@AlkalineAjay]

You got a subscriber in me!!

[@BOIZADAS]

Aos 4:44, surge uma peça que gostaria de saber qual é. Consegues-me dizer?

[@1_rma]

nice video

[@Tom-lr1if]

Another fan of Mike Duncan's History of Rome podcast huh

[@henryfellowsmoss3827]

Why is it always a Claudius Pulcher making mischief? I'm reminded of the one during Caesar's time who snuck into the women-only ceremony celebrating the Bona Dea by dressing up as a woman. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, it would seem.

[@Charles-e4x]

Watching this video, in the grand scheme of things, not much seems to have really changed at all.

[@ffn8917]

Love it

[@jamesivey5573]

What in the flying fuck I got two unskippable 55 second ads

[@therealdirtydan6185]

poor Cato

[@kaiokendo]

5:00 He was epiléptic or something??

[@liamroberts2576]

I must have been Ela in a past life. 🤷🏻‍♂️🤣😈

[@AMR_k400]

Claudius is my favorite roman

[@gr8aussief--kup]

The best thing about you is yes you are mainly Rome, but you aren't fascist which is always a risk

[@comedyaddict123]

Apart from repeating lies about Heliogabalus, nice video.

[@Hertyropix]

Rate every dynasty of the roman empire and western and east roman empire

[@yaboyed5779]

Elagabalus profile pls😩😩😩

[@citadelofkuzey1193]

jesus christ whats the music its always used in history videos!!!!

[@pedroclapis4]

more rome

[@timmyturner327]

Comment for sake of algorithim.

[@eztvlight1202]

Same

[@creationanimation4844]

Me too

[@jorgefierro8241]

hehehhe butt

[@DJ-1Q84]

Caesar supporting Claudius over his own wife takes "bros before hoes" to a whole new level.

[@davidward3848]

One does not blaspheme Deus Sol Invictus and get away with it.

[@PalkkiTT]

⬅️ ⬅️ ⬅️

[@moritamikamikara3879]

To hell with the sun *Closes curtains*

[@PolskaCebula]

Elagabalus truly was the maddest of emperors he: -Changed main roman god -Married priestesses -Was trans -Had casual sex Truly the worst of the worst... also remember that gay people didn't exit in ancient times they were just roommates

[@creationanimation4844]

The third one on the list proves he was insane

[@djinnglebells241]

7:55 Gotta be honest, this just sounds like Elagabalus was trans. Should the man be referred to as she then? The marrying a vestal virgin thing is really weird tho. Otherwise, none of that seems out of the norm, at least to today.

[@theprussianfemboy165]

The issue is it's hard to tell cause there are a lot of mistruths made up to make some emperor's look bad

[@djinnglebells241]

@@theprussianfemboy165 Usually I'd say this sounds like a "OMG they were roommates" situation, but after doing further research, most of it seems to point that yeah, this was just slander.

[@theprussianfemboy165]

@@djinnglebells241 yeah same with that one byzantine emperor who everyone thinks is trans I still hold hope that maybe they were trans but again gender non conforming and trans people will always be used as slander

[@fatalshore5068]

Cicero was not plebian, he was equities.