10 Phrases That REVEAL a Narcissist's Manipulation

[@bereal6590]

They reject you in a 1000 different ways, then act confused when you don't want to be around them, blame you, guilt you and shame you.

[@__-fl3yt]

I am here right know, he dosent understand why I am so cold.

[@linlinali]

exactly. they are the ones getting upset acting like a victim when you no longer able to give them love or any verbal supply. then even in this situation you are the one to be blamed and being accused of “being cold, not loving, ignoring them etc.” and oc its another reason for them to punish you with silent treatment, with upset face, etc..

[@bereal6590]

@@linlinali it's just impossible and hurts a lot in my experience. 🤚✌️

[@coolitdown]

My favorite line from my ex-narc was "I am not your emotional babysitter..." One of the last times I saw him, he tried to hug me and I refused to. He messaged me later and said he felt so rejected that I wouldn't hug him. I told him, "I am not your emotional babysitter..." 😆 I don't think he liked that too much.

[@puremaledark8305]

@@coolitdown gross! Mine said "im not your savior" while i provided everything for her. Who was saving who? Well, i know who was.

[@UnashamedCaliforniagirl]

They hate it when you use the words against them.

[@cazgearb5570]

Oh my god my guy says ‘I’m not your shrink or your emotional punchbag’

[@puremaledark8305]

@@cazgearb5570 the ex narc i dated said that too! She was an emotional "punching bag" after my buddy died and i needed a shoulder to cry on. Truly sick people

[@LookUpYourRedemptionDrawsNigh]

😂😂😂🎉🎉

[@LoveAllCreations]

Something I've learned that proved very helpful is to listen carefully to the narc's accusations toward you because they are, in fact, admitting their own behaviour.

[@Leesa1303]

I agree with you...😢 He would be doing drugs & he was like this is all you want & he would do more & I would say , "just take it & go to your other GFs house...I know you are sick & you can have it all... I caught him hid out in my bathroom and he said you don't like this huh... I said no , but he knew in 2004 my then BF did meth/ice...I'm just tired anymore and after he beat me up June 24th, 25th and on the early morning of the 26th he ran outta my house...

[@LoveAllCreations]

@@Leesa1303 I'm sorry you had to go through all that 😔

[@TheWanjina]

Yep everything they are accusing you of they are doing themselves because that is exactly what they are doing and they think everyone does it

[@I.M.SofaKingdom]

That's disturbing. He kept accusing me of trying to poison him 🤔.

[@LoveAllCreations]

@I.M.SofaKingdom same here. My ex refused to eat anything I made him because he too thought I was poisoning him. It's beyond ridiculous and, yes, quite unnerving.

[@jodimo]

I'm 63. I've been narcissisticly abused for 60 years. Thank you for helping me heal.

[@incognito595]

@@jodimo Same! Almost my whole life. I just didn't know WHAT TO CALL IT!

[@jodimo]

@incognito595 my narc dad tried to hit me because the attention was on me. I was speaking spiritual truths and he didn't like it. He would rather show questionable filth on yt. I then decided no more. I gave 60 years of honor and respect. I have to honor and respect the real me.

[@bailey309]

It’s probably 63 years but you have memories from about 3 years old.

[@deeogle763]

To go along with “ I never said that,”. -- “ Give me an example “. or. “. What day?” What time.” Making You prove what they said. Just more conversation/arguing to confuse you even more!

[@ginalynn6963]

My current narc does this ALL of the time, as if I could possibly know the time, date, or verbatim. And when you can't name those details it somehow totally invalidates you claim. Maddening stuff.

[@mylegacytransformed]

Supervisor would rush over to my desk and shout “Are you OK?” (Shouting and putting the emphasis on the OK we’re attempts to alert the team in the office that I’ve done or said something wrong.) It was all a projection of his own feelings when he couldn’t manipulate or control me. Therefore, I’d ask back loudly but not shouting “Are YOU okay?” That let know I wasn’t falling for his projection and it alerted the others that it’s not me, it’s him. He’s then look shocked and quickly walk back to his office.

[@incognito595]

RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

[@injashiran]

Agree! Run!!!

[@KobyMapel]

Please, save yourself.

[@Juamo-tn8we]

I did that 6 weeks ago. Best decision I’ve made in my 62 years.

[@jeannedouglas9912]

It's not in a true empaths nature to run.

[@injashiran]

@@jeannedouglas9912 Agree, no contact is usually the best path.. ( But seldom without consequence ) But, standing firm will always win the day at the end...

[@Truthteller1s]

Narcissist logic: If you hadn't bought the wrong brand of bread, I wouldn't have had to cheat on you. 😂😂😂

[@michele7215]

When I would hold my ground .. my ex would like to say "Wow, that escalated quickly". I now translate that as Wow, I can't gaslight you right now ...

[@oliver7011]

Or they taught you to be like them. I'm concerned most advice out there makes a person just like the narcissist. I can't say that's what's going on, but I simply want to warn you of the bad advice out there. Hurt people hurt people, break the pattern, don't fall into it please...

[@DavidTower-Frasier]

I'm surprised by how these descriptions are universal in the experience of those commenting including my own. I'm convinced that malignant narcissism is similar to psychopaths. Seven months into no contact. And this realization makes it so easy to maintain. Stay strong. Protect your Peace 🕊️.

[@StaceyJayne-pe7ww]

It is crazy. I used to tell my ex that I've also read the "Super Douche's Guide To Being A Piece of Shit" and so I recognized the games he was playing

[@alexismerrilldragonqueen]

Malignant narcissism is on the path to psychopathy and sociopathy [ASPD], so you are absolutely correct. So many patterns overlap with the two. Nice observation.

[@gregcroon6768]

How about, "I'm done talking about this, believe what you want."

[@AlyssaLopez-n1c]

I love this one! Oh, yes, because I WANT to believe my spouse cheats and lies :-)

[@StaceyJayne-pe7ww]

THAT ONE!

[@oliver7011]

How is this bad? It's not controlling and gives freedom of other person. This is not gaslighting since they are not trying to change your reality. They are literally accepting you and letting you believe what you believe. It's controlling to expect them to agree with you.

[@sharlishabird4300]

This statement though!!! Omg

[@StaceyJayne-pe7ww]

@@oliver7011 it's them refusing to take accountability when they treat someone badly- intentionally.

[@davidestabrook5367]

"That never happened". Then 2 minutes later, "The only reason that happened, was because you did", then they accuse you of something that didn't happen. Reactive Abuse occurs when you get upset by their abuse, then they hit you with: "You're scary when you get like this". "You're lucky I'm willing to be with you, because no one else will, once they see how crazy you're acting" "Why are you abusing me? I never did anything to make you react this crazy". "You need help, you're shouting and carrying on over nothing" "You're sick in the head" "You're accusing me of something that didn't happen. What's wrong with you?" They're all the same, same phases, same games, same false reality. I bet yours also does the driving too fast to scare you thing. People with empathy deserve to be loved and treated with respect. My heart goes out to people who are trapped in a narcissists web. Other people have escaped, and you can too. Only thing you can't do, is get them to change. But life is so much better without narcissists in your life, and their thoughts in your head.

[@The_eh_list]

Oh my gosh this right here is so true! These relationships are so frustrating i swear I want to pull my hair out. all their denial, gaslighting and don't forget the word salad...oh almost forgot, the cherry on top...the fake nice ugh 😒...I say definitely run before they have the opportunity to get their tentacles in you. They don't let go easily.

[@Leesa1303]

This is exactly what he would say

[@shelleyletts7959]

That driving to fast to scare you thing I thought only happened to me. I will not get in the car with him if he is n one of his moods. I have lived through too many car tantrums and they are scary.

[@bereal6590]

My mother's latest deflection and dismissive tech ique is to say "I can't do that psychological stuff". This should come with a subtext of; I can say and do whatever I like, I can elevate your father, I can make you feel bad and take zero accountability! Basically I can say any old 💩, but you say anything and you're really bad and should feel shame and guilt!

[@davidestabrook5367]

@@bereal6590 That sounds awful. It sounds like your stuck, and you need to talk about the abuse/mistreatment, but your mother is deflecting to avoid responsibility. Other people have healed from narcissistic parents or relationships, but it was from their own hard work, and many people really benefited from finding a therapist who understood. The desire to get the person to change their harmful behaviour is normal, but it contributes to keeping people stuck, because narcissists are not capable of love or changing their behaviour. But I do hope that you'll be able to heal, and grow, and have good friends who enjoy spending time with you, and who you feel safe with.

[@bereal6590]

They don't care what you think, how you feel but boy do they care how they feel! Everything you do will be awful, everything they do and say is dismissed or elevated. Plus they're ALL like that.

[@ionrazvan126]

They feel good because they win everytime

[@tylojzs]

I never said that...... walk away immediately and never look back. For your own good.

[@ras9875]

Unless they are trying to put words in your mouth. I would say I never said that because I NEVER SAID THAT 😮😂😂😂

[@MomLAU]

And you'll notice that when "everyone else agrees", they won't give you any names of people who (supposedly) agree.

[@oliver7011]

@MomLAU I love this, because it doesn't try to fight the narcissist's reality. It approaches them with curiosity of their reality as if true. At the same time, It let's them know you see through the lies.

[@_VelociDad]

Yes, it’s always nameless “friends” and family who hate the target of the Narc.

[@ginalynn6963]

Mine always says, - if ai asked a thousand people, they would ALL say [X] .....

[@inspiredtoenrich]

My personal favorite is “I’m just kidding” or “it’s just a joke” 🙄 if no one’s laughing, it’s not a joke

[@clairesweeney4334]

Or “Can’t you take a joke?!” Uh, yeah, I can take a joke, but what a can’t take is DISRESPECT disguised as a joke!!

[@cyndigooch1162]

@inspiredtornrich That's a huge, not to mention common, phrase, which can cause a lot of confusion, especially after growing up watching so-called comedies on TV and put downs were followed by fake laughter. 🥺

[@JoeGarv]

I was in a relationship with a narcissist and she was trying to gas light me and named dropped a mutual friend of ours and said that friend agreed with her, and I replied "I don't care what they think, this is between you and me not them" and I saw it in her face that she couldn't comprehend how i didn't need other people's validation

[@garrimic3]

One of my favorites from my narcissistic ex wife was….. “Everyone else knew you would behave like this.” She meant her friends but never actually answered. Eventually you have to let go of the person you actually love because it will destroy you if you don’t. It caused my health to decline and my financial stability to decline as well. I should have never went back to her but wanted my family together. I’d ask her “Who is everyone else specifically?”

[@pieceofevil84]

Last time I used that line to hold them accountable it was met with "I'm not at liberty to say who for their sake"

[@joenowak8186]

I said the same thing to my ex wife...who is everybody?

[@ReallyNJ]

@@pieceofevil84 exactly, they have an inherent or manipulative way to stick up for everyone else except you. it let's them keep their little fabricated secret to themselves like everyone is their bud and you are left in the dark.

[@ReallyNJ]

it's the manipulative way of their deflective of meaning that "you aren't part of the club."

[@Hendrix-Jimi]

They never answer....anything.

[@alletsasil]

The hardest part with no contact is to love yourself enough to stand your ground and not cave in when they try to win you back… He has broken a part of me, I cannot even recognize myself anymore. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I still have a hard time realizing what I have been through for two and a half years… At first, I thought he was just a dismissive avoidant, a hurt child deep inside that needed time and care… But the more I started to wake up, the more I saw his real face behind the mask. He has been leading me on and stringing me along for so long, every time I was seeking answers and explanations, he would shut me down and play the victim, making me the evil villain. When I opened my eyes and understood I’d never get answers and closure, I threatened to leave and to cut him out. That’s when he would double down and promise change, a future together, everything I was asking for… He was gaslighting me and stonewalling every time I would take his mask off, blaming me for everything. I was going no contact when I got the « accidental picture of him that he had just found », I got the video chats attempts to manipulate me, I got the « I’m coming round and wanting the same thing as you now »… All of this was just a blatant, deceiving act to hold me back and keep destroying me and my mental wellbeing. These people will demolish you until they find a better victim to play with. They are not able to recover from these hideous tactics and this incomprehensible manipulation to the sane mind. The worst part is that he had warned me one day, telling me « all of his exes called him manipulative and he didn’t understand ». I should have taken the heads up more seriously… It was and it is still extremely painful to stay no contact, but my peace of mind immediately came back. I feel relief, freedom and safety now. Remember: if something feels off with someone, it usually is…

[@alcudiababe1]

My Mom used to say "you probably did something to set me off!" But she didn't need setting off - she was high maintenance anyway and gigantic enormous reactions to the simplest of things

[@TroyM777]

I’m 38, I’m bouncing back from so my narcissistic abuse, thanks be to God.

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Walk away, leave the narcissists in silence.

[@wasatchadventurer7227]

You described all these perfectly. All the phrases you mentioned or some form of it, my ex-girlfriend, has said or has done. After 8 years, I am finally done. I walked away 6 months ago. I am still healing, and I have been getting better.

[@turnbacktime65]

Good for you!❤❤❤

[@incognito595]

DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. REALLY. WHY WOULD YOU WASTE YOUR TIME? YOUR LIFE IS SHORT. IT WILL NEVER CHANGE. EVER.

[@debralondon2402]

Yes

[@WeepingWillowkc2570]

I ❤ that statement, life it too short. Thanks for that comment.

[@davegayaldo]

she said , im too sensitive, she didn’t say that & i herd it wrong , im sorry you feel like that , you need to get help , it didn’t happen like that , in the end u question your own sanity

[@timmysmith9991]

I really needed this list 25 years ago when I was going through it. I am glad these resources are available now.

[@elenaakopiyants8662]

One of my personal "favourites" was engaging in hours of Word Salad, going on in circles, of course blaming me for "going on in circles" and when I would actually ask what is it that he wanted, he would be like: "nothing, I'm just telling you how I feel" 😵😵🤯🤯

[@skai500]

The phrase I think you missed: "I've changed!" I really wish I had talked with someone like you because it would have saved me 20 years of my life I wasted on a narcissist. My ex ticked all the boxes in this video. The only difference was that he escalated to violence when I finally decided I couldn't take him anymore. Then when I said I was leaving, he would cry and tell me he would change. He fooled me several times until I realized what a fool I was. I actually left twice and he convinced me to come back. His "change" lasted about 48 hours. What a caretaker I was! I knew he was sick and I really thought I could help him.

[@babetteshaw]

They are exhausting.

[@jennifersmallwood]

I really love your videos but let me tell you one thing: I absolutely love how you dress lately and that you did let go of this black blow-dry haircut of yours too 😍 You look so much better, fresher and younger now !!! And your moon picture in the background is still quer 😆 I start to love that too. You said it´s the camera, I believe it´s the way it should be. All the very best and keep on going with your channel. It´s so important !

[@milenemelicias823]

Here some other classic frases from my ex: - " you are not supportive of me" ( after me being always somewhat involved/ helping him in his side projects and side hustles, uni, etc) - " if am happy we will both be happy. So make sure, that I am happy first, then you will also be happy" - basically he was saying "help me with my needs and my emotional regulation first" - "It's my house, my car..." After ensuring me do financially spport me. He threw this in my face, whenever we had a fight. After I got my first job, I was supporting him financially and never did I say Something like that. Its just unfair. - " we always/only do what you want" - after asking me what I want to do and me telling him that I want to do X , but we can also something else. And now one of my favourites: - "you don't appreciate what I do for you" - I guess I should have appreciated the abuse more 😂

[@inspiredtoenrich]

I’ve heard every single one of these so many times…

[@CindyLivingstone-sq9zq]

lol! I went full NC with my narc sibling. After going on about me at a family event in front of mutual family members (who told me: which is what he was hoping for), I stripped down communication to bare bones to address the issues he raised. I hadn’t spoken to him in four years. So I reaffirmed that I would not be engaging a relationship in with him. I received that EXACT reaction from my narc brother: “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Then the martyr: “when you’re ready I will be here, I believe healing is possible”. Right. That will not be happening. He has lost control of the narrative and I haven’t changed my behaviour for four years now and it is driving him crazy. He just cannot take responsibility for any poor behaviour. He vacillates between vulnerable narc to malignant when he rages. He has done every single one of these.

[@Del1ng]

Having lived with one for far too long, it is not worth it, it really is a loveless relationship filled with deceit , lies and deflecting when they are caught out indicating that you are the one with the problem or you are the bad person. Run for the hills if you ever encounter one and if you are already in a relationship with one, get out as soon as you can, and in the meanwhile start to emotionally detach yourself from them to save your own sanity. It`s hell and you do not want to have a child with a narcissist as your child will suffer long term due to the toxicity.

[@kurteenvirginia4792]

Some of my favorites from my ex are: Well if that’s what makes you feel better Your power tripping If you’re not happy then nobody’s happy Everything is always about you (when simply trying to have a discussion about something important to me he would always steer it towards himself and how his feelings were more important and he was always more tired or more in pain or more hurt than me)

[@TheWanjina]

The one I heard was, "Your lucky I love you". Also when I would try to bring something up, she would deflect back to me and say "You know your problem is that your not busy enough or you don't have enough goals. Also when raising something if I would bring it back to the original argument after she deflected, she would say this is turning into an argument and use it to try and stop the discussion.

[@luciennedespota909]

"What do you want from me?" " All you do is criticize" and " You only let people get so close to you." are other common ones.

[@foxglove589]

When mine was messaging his female staff inappropriately he would respond with “Well, it wouldn’t bother me if you did it so I don’t know why you’re upset”? So I messaged a male colleague and, guess what? My narc was upset, very upset indeed 😆 That’s when I reminded him of his words to me. Oh, and showed him the door!

[@windysmith7367]

They pull this crap all the time to challenge you.

[@kalima7446]

These phrases I not only heard in close relationships starting with my mother (you're imagining etc.) but also with bad therapists, social workers, administrative staff and even the professional group leader of a local self-help group (cult). Everytime I hear my very first therapist "You must be masochistic if you let them treat you that way. Leave and look for somebody else that treats you well.". By the time I wasn't able to ask how she meant it (Trigger - Amygdala - Flight-Freeze-Fawn Response - no logical, critical thinking available - chronic limbic system dysfunction), I understood it as "Shame on you! It's all your fault, you dumb ...!". Later I translated it for me to: I (you!) DESERVE to be treated better. I wasn't taught that I (we!) do have inherent value and it all makes sense now. Most of the time I was in functional freeze, sometimes in shutdown (completely drained). Predators see this (playing dead, trying to be as invisible, quiet, nice and inconspicuous as possible) as invitation to prey because nobody is "home" and protecting. For me it wasn't possible to switch to Fight response (not able to feel rage, anger - was suppressed from a very young age). Cutting cords and staying alone as long as I wanted was the best thing I could do for me. I'm still doing daily nervous system regulation exercises, heartmath breathing, somatics, EFT, TRE, etc. Thanks to Dr. Cat's "Primal Trust".

[@christinahavel4081]

my mom always says "I never said that!" and gives me a strange look and laughs at me. she's a covert narcissist, and i've been studying up on what she is. this always helps when i'm trying to leave her house. thank you for what you do⭐️✨

[@Nidhi.Kapoor]

Wow, this video really opened my eyes! I’ve heard these phrases before but didn’t realize how deeply manipulative they can be. It’s amazing how narcissists use language to twist situations and maintain control. Thank you for breaking it down so clearly-this is going to help me spot the red flags and protect my boundaries in the future!

[@truhhhhhhhokIII3]

So triggering when the “i was busy” was said. Mine would say that and “i cant be constantly talking to you” when i brought up “hey you ghosted me for 3 days…i dont like that” the gaslighting is insane!

[@Eddieszisland]

Mind games👍🏼

[@095au]

Shapeshifters.

[@AFAskygoddess]

🦎

[@lizbethkuna263]

Yes! “Charming Chameleons”

[@davidestabrook5367]

10 phrases That REVEAL a Narcissists Manipulation 1.) I'm sorry you feel that way 2.) You're too sensitive 3.) I never said that 4.) You made me do it Or, This is all your fault Those may be part of "reactive abuse", where you are being abused specifically to get a reaction 5.) Everyone else agrees with me 6.) You're lucky I'm with you. You're lucky you have me No one else would put up with you 7.) I didn't mean it like that You're twisting my words That was taken out of context 8.) You're just imagining things 9.) Why can't you just let it go? 10.) You're the only one who has a problem with this 11.) You're petty after all I do for you

[@sherimagdaleno884]

I would hear…. “Babe why can’t you just be normal? Your insecurity makes you crazy.” No accountability for the inconsistency or unsafe behavior that made me feel completely uncentered.

[@2ndBirth]

It's such a strange thing, almost like it's the same spirit speaking through these people. Every single phrase you said in this video was what I constantly heard all through my childhood. Every single one, time and time again. Left my mind in a tumble drier until I eventually woke up to it. It still leaves mental scars though, that often pop up. Over time it starts to become your own negative self speak in your own head. Thank you for sharing all this information, you are helping a lot of people. God bless :o)

[@debbiegreene5394]

How about “you think too much!”?

[@ras9875]

Followed by it doesn't matter

[@Guddilove801]

Or you are too much in your head.

[@52cardsFacedown]

I COULDN'T EVEN GET HIM TO BUY US A DINING TABLE!?!? 😂😢 We use a cheap fold up bought from my paycheck. He refused to help look for one and would act completely indifferent or outwardly annoyed when I'd ask.

[@UnashamedCaliforniagirl]

Mine kept throwing my grandmothers dining table across the room every time I got upset and said " no" to my former pastor for a " gift " of a dining table because he was a " minimalist" and thought we already " owned too much stuff" forget the fact that I told him that I wanted the dining table because I wanted a place to put my makeup on in the morning ( he hated that I had never cared that much about how I looked before and suddenly felt the need to wear makeup) forget the fact that I am now aging ( we were in our twenties when we got married and he made me feel beautiful 😍 even when I wasn't trying but when he got mad at me he literally told me that I was " an ugly ass one armed bitch" he always hit me EXACTLY where it hurt because he knew that it immobilized me. I just wanted to please him because I LOVED him but to him everything that I did was proof 🧾 that I was UNFAITHFUL and UNTRUSTWORTHY.

[@UnashamedCaliforniagirl]

I am so sorry that you had to go through that. It's crazy making. Believe me I know ❤

[@thewaywardtrio]

Christina this subject and related work you do is your calling and the results are so helpful and insightful those of us mired up in these situations. 🏁

[@SuzanneLegendre]

My ex narc would rarely apologize but it was by saying: ‘My bad’. Faux-pology!

[@IndigoInsight]

My ex was 100% Narc and ALL of these phrases were used all the time.

[@TheLauraCatSnoozes]

My favorite from my mother is "don't be ridiculous".

[@Rimga21]

I am so glad my husband shared this channel with me!

[@thompsonlauren1004]

Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective [e-mail] for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.

[@starVox1]

You are brave and resilient, all the best and it's fine being a single Mom! I was and my son appreciates how much zi love and worked hard for him. You can do it!

[@ionrazvan126]

So he is a narcisist and you control his phone

[@cazgearb5570]

Once he said how much I hurt him so I started crying as I didn’t want to hurt him and he said ‘don’t turn this around and make it about you now’. Wow

[@lizbethkuna263]

Special cruelty comes out when you cry.😭 Brutal

[@wirelessunday9897]

Thanks!

[@CommonEgo]

Thank you! 🙏❤️

[@xxponential2409]

My narcissist partner always tells me he’s “never experienced anyone like me” that he’s “NEVER been with a woman who’s been so difficult” “I’ve NEVER experienced anyone act the way you do” I.e - calling him out on his horrendous behaviour

[@inspector.gadget]

OMG. You’re so spot on! Mag god bless you abundantly. Thank you so much!

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

One Of the huge red flags of narcisism and also psychopathy is the entitlement to exploit others and it’s something we have to pay attention to when we discern who we are dealing with.

[@LaDonnaShielded-kc7zm]

Lol if I was more like everyone else 😂, I'm sorry it is funny and refreshing to see what I escaped. The line was "You're the only one I argue with. I get along with everyone but you" 😂 Can't block out my memories honey to correspond with yours🤣 Thank you ✌🏼💕

[@liamhiggins360]

I've learned all the terms now, like rumination, and have watched so many vids not just yours, and i've always known exactly all this stuff, but now i can just instantly spot more narc people, they way they are in line ups, or just walking past each other on sidewalks, my identification of the narcs early, really helps a lot. Talking to them is real obvious, they word sentences with too much authority. I respect respect, sorry bigtime narcs. My understanding is better now.

[@monicamunoz7028]

He said, you sre overthinking😢

[@gioargentati7802]

Very helpful video! Thank you for posting this! :)

[@janeylynn5934]

Oh my word, the “I’m sorry you feel that way” has been used so much by my narc sister. The most recent time I confronted her on her continual disrespectful behavior toward me (which I’m learning that I should never do with a narcissist), she used this phrase, basically told me that I was wrong, and then said she would be happy to help me try to work through my negative feelings. Her email to me was absurd, explaining in very academic and technical terms how people’s feelings can never be trusted, and therefore aren’t legitimate or valid, and then taking no responsibility for her bad behavior. She basically implied that I didn’t know anything and was unstable. She also sent me links with long academic articles about how relationships work, implying that I didn’t understand relationships, and told me that if I wanted to be “friends” with her, I was going to have to follow a series of rules she was laying out for me. Oh, and the "everyone else agrees with me" phrase has been used too. She told me that she doesn't have any kind of trouble with anyone else feeling negatively toward her - just me. Therefore, I'm the problem.

[@turnbacktime65]

Yikes. How about limiting your contact with her. ❤

[@antheredhen]

I should of woke up 33 years ago when I paid half of the groceries for his dog and things he only ate and his beer.. I was always bringing dinner to his house "oh and don't worry if Leannes here we watch TV together" ... Ya I'm the 19 year old idiot that thought he was "just" friends with 4 other women..

[@kimsnyder5456]

'Why do you keep doing this to me?' - roommate number one. I don't put up with that but thankfully they only grew up in a narcisstic household and is not actually a narcissist. The other roommate is a narcissist so I treat him like the child he is and I don't engage in his behavior thus taking away any power he would have had.

[@lindageiling5922]

It was my fault he was yeling at me. or do drugs, My fault... n I was too sensitive. He told me I should shut my mouth , he said no one else wants to be around me that's why I have no friends. I always put his needs above mine. He would say he was only joking , I have no sense of humor, he insulted me many times then said I had hangup about my body . He called me crazy,

[@CommonEgo]

Sorry you had to deal with someone like that. Hoping it's in the past for you now 🙏❤️

[@incognito595]

@@lindageiling5922 You have to say "I Deserve Better." Keep saying that until you escape.

[@incognito595]

@@lindageiling5922 He knows there's something "wrong" with him. If they could tell The Truth, they would admit that. I am sorry that happened to you. I know. Believe me, I know. I believe that they have a Genetic Defect, or a Mutation in their genes. In fact, I don't "think" that, I KNOW IT. I AM SERIOUS. I BELIEVE THEY ARE POSSESSED BY A DEMON. I AM SERIOUS.

[@user-dn1pj3db2k]

I’m glad your videos popped up into my feet again and I was wondering what happened to you and I actually forgot about you and I see you now.

[@lilymiller3522]

Hello Christina. I recently found your channel and I’m so grateful to hear all you say. It’s helping assure me that I’m not crazy,I’m in so much pain and I don’t know how to get through this , I’m eager to end it and start a healing and self care journey that I hear others write about. I don’t know how . I don’t know where to start or what to say. I’m so far from who I was that I do not even know if the old me was real. I’m so disappointed in myself for allowing him to treat me like this for so long. The first 4 years he was so attentive, loving , funny and caring. He treated me like his queen. Flowers all the time, trips and vacations together, bought me a car, when mine broke down. I believed he truly cared about me and helped me because he loved me. I felt like I was in a dreamy love story . Then he moved me to a home, a street away from where he lived. He knew I couldn’t afford it on my own but said this what people who love each do, help each other . BUT IT ALL CHANGED SO FAST ! One night after hurting my feelings & I questioned him why,,,, he said,” I’m an asshole like every man, I just control it better.” It grew worse n worse. Pulling me away from my daughter . He didn’t like her. He didn’t like anyone. I’ve been loyal, loving and tried and tried and he said it’s all my fault and I try and try. His actions don’t match his words . We’ve seen each other 3 times in 8 months and haven’t had sex either . Yet he says we are ok. No we are not. This last year has crushed me!! He gives me such teeny tiny leftovers of himself and then drop kicks my heart over n over again. But won’t just let me go. This is why I need the strength to LET HIM GO. I Cry all the time . I’m always alone unless I’m at work. I’m so very unhappy and broken. I do not have anyone close to me anymore except my daughter but I just put on a smile when I see her. I do not understand what happened! But I do know I can not go through another year like those. I need to let go. How do I do that when it hurts so bad. Looking back I have cried for what we had and keep trying to get back to where we were but I can’t because …. It wasn’t real . I read that somewhere. He wasn’t real.this hurtful monster is who he really is. He doesn’t have any remorse or regret. It’s always spun around and around and around until idk up from down . I need someone to talk to who understands

[@Spock_Rogers]

Thank you, beautiful! 🌷

[@txrancher47]

You must know my parents and my ex-wife. They use all your phrases... Great video! Thank you!

[@Ang4242]

I like "its all in your head" 😢 is what I get all the time....or "your ungodly questions all the time". Oh yes...and the "you drove me away". Oh another is "you're (whatever the situation) being obsessive" about this".

[@robertdavila2424]

Too meny years of EXACTLY what you just covered t.y. for sharing the knowledge. ❤

[@kath-29]

Every. Single. One. Ten years and I’m finally out, but so deeply wounded from being in a relationship with this person.

[@Ayaime7]

So true within the dynamic i was in, "why dont or cant you let things go" (wanting to talk about a present issue) was often even projection. i didnt understand it till way after leaving. The them bringing up months ago or weeks ago or even what they did for me a year or longer ago.The tangents etc. When bringing up their behavior or manipulations. So Its like ohhh so your behavior yesterday and abnormal behavior during the week was because one dish was in the sink about a week ago that i didnt catch and didnt get put in the dishwasher and i said hey im doing laundry right now can you get that a little distracted and peeved. Because hey i was incompetent about a single dish of course i was a bit peeved. But i didnt yell or even say it sarcastic. It was like a boundary and a hey, respect thing. We are trained to even let that crap go.but trust that they will hold on to it for a week to months and in the middle of it all your mental emotional boundaries are like a toy 😡

[@Ayaime7]

My ex's favorite phrase was why cant you let crap go. Live for now. Funny that i could live in the now. He couldnt. And i picked battles and could let things go. Except certain things the abusive things.

[@MissieLotus]

This is an awesome video thank you for doing it. I would love to see this video done for phrases in the workplace the variations on themes of bosses and co-workers. ✌️

[@stinamaloney6188]

What if you get the “sincere” apology BECAUSE he knows those are the right words but then he gets angry with you when you don’t immediately be “all better” and actually expect him to change and not do that again? When he does it again, same “genuine” apology.

[@anggorogedewaseso169]

Back then I would think differently, but these days when I look back and think on when they say "You're the one who has a problem with this" I would smirk and chuckle because I know I was not the only one with "that" problem, oh so many people shared the same issue as I was xD

[@jenniferwaugh8796]

Hi Christina, excellent video.

[@I.M.SofaKingdom]

He locked his keys in the car. It was all my fault because i didnt have the extra set with me. The fact that I don't drive has nothing to do with it, Ishould have been prepared. I caught him cheating, but trying to discuss it was wrong of me. I just wanted to cause problems by bringing it up. And so on, forever, etc.

[@pharxahghxst3654]

yes she said i never said that . last year i went no contact and gave in and went back to her she told me she had another man and he listens to her etc. i remember breaking down crying

[@Haan_P]

"I feel like a bulldog trying to care for the needs of a husky." I cleaned(which he hadn't done in YEARS), cooked, did the shopping, walked his dog, and took care of his sexual needs. In return he listened to me talk about my feelings sometimes but usually just told me he didn't want to hear about it because he's "so emphatic, hearing about it affects his mental health negatively." "I'm stopping this here because you're clearly not in the right state of mind for this. We can discuss this when you've calmed down." Every single time I brought up a problem or tried to argue about anything. He'd introduce this argument less than a minute into the situation. My arguments would've involved things like, idk, telling him I was hurt by him telling me that visiting my place was, AND I QUOTE, "not worth the effort".

[@TJ-bs4wv]

When me and my girlfriend are in an argument, and she becomes patronising and sarcastic. When I tell her. Don't talk to me like this, or when I say why do you talk to me like this. She ofte has said "you made me say, or you provoked me" I always find it wierd. Because I try to take accountability for my saying and doing, when say something hurtful or stupid

[@anggorogedewaseso169]

Yeah, it's like they intentionally or unintentionally(?) not taking the situation seriously even when it should be serious and we're being genuine, vulnerable and open.

[@TJ-bs4wv]

@anggorogedewaseso169 I agree. Its like everything gets turned back to you, and no responsibility for own actions, and instead blaming the other ones. Take everything as criticism

[@LolaAileenVanslette]

"You must be getting dementia." He used that yesterday when I was supposed to be helping him register his car (against my better judgement). That was the last chance he'll ever get to insult me.

[@IAmNumber4000]

Rewriting history is so aggravating. First they’re consciously trying to make you doubt your own sanity. Second they’re implicitly giving away that they KNOW they did something, and they KNOW it’s wrong. And third they’re giving away that they’re not sorry even a tiny bit. There is no relationship to be had with someone who does this.

[@tiffanymcdonald8376]

What about them trying to say you’re gaslighting them because you called them out for lying to you once again or trying to say that I’m not remember what they said correctly. I even texted my sister while they were talking to me because I was sick of the story changing all the time. This is pretty spot on with never taking accountability, sorry you feel that way, and invalidating my feeling and not communicating with me or giving me reasons why they couldn’t talk about it. I would ask for my faults and what I could work on and it was well I don’t have a list that I keep and my anxiety is too bad to talk about this right now.

[@mariawood3418]

This is great! Thank you!!

[@craighirst5631]

the narcissist i was seeing is a mental health nurse she told me I have mother issues and I have other child issues She told me this crap while my mum was in hospital dying

[@doreancollins7682]

How about being accused of being "too aggressive" just because you're standing up for yourself and your child after being accused of all sorts of things you didn't say or do, and even after seeing proof that their accusations against you are false, they hurl additional accusations at you and then threaten you with either leaving, divorce, some sort of physical advance (threatening movement towards you), and even threatening to call the police on you for simply standing up and defending yourself against them, their blatantly false accusations, and their horrible threats...and after all that, they turn around and blame you for every moment of hell they just put you and your child through. He accuses me of being the problem, yet he's the one that causes all the chaos

[@arenee118]

My narc sister would make jokes at my expense. If i called her out on it, she would say, "You're too sensitive", "You can't take a joke", or "You think too much about yourself." Yep, I do think too much about myself. I expect respect. Something a narcissist can't give.

[@cybilized6853]

I just left my narcissist boyfriend on August 1. He immediately went on TikTok and started posting videos of him burning my stuff and calling me degrading names. Then on Aug 20, he called me and begged me to come back. He is in Georgia, but i had to go to California when I left him because my family is here. He was telling me that he loves me so much and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and blah blah blah. Its a good thing that I didn't get in my car and drive to georgia because 4 days after the phone call, he made a TikTok video announcing that he was back with his ex girlfriend (the one before me who he says cheated on him and he said some horrible things about her too). But there he was, saying that he's glad that I left because now he's back with her and she is what he wanted all along. He changed up before I could even drive there! This is the phone call. I recorded it so I would have proof.... kzbin.info/www/bejne/ooSqaYttoNGWhK8si=YyWHd1v_RwE7zply

[@prueaddy-z3r]

To live with someone who is stuck in loveless transactions looking involved in lust or greed or arrogance or jealousy or righteous or fraudulent victim for our resources to be assessed for the. Be it energy, money, time, empathy, on and on. Leave as you can to heal your sucked out soul. You’ll be stronger one day. Stay true to the truth which is not them.

[@SarcasmAndChocolate]

Could you do an episode about narcissistic stalkers? I'm dealing with one and would love to hear how one should handle situation where a narcissist forces their presence on you against your will and as such distance becomes impossible.

[@lucyt-c8092]

for one thing- get off social media

[@talithamarko4291]

I never said that,( oh this is why I started to record everything thing😊) I may have epilepsy but my phone doesn't 👍

[@CommonEgo]

*Wondering if YOU had a relationship with a narcissist? Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist

[@markbradshaw7282]

07:25 This whole triangulation thing is a very slimy tactic, but they actually tell on themselves if you are really paying attention instead of getting sucked into a pointless argument with them. In a lot of cases, these "other people" who agree with them about how terrible you are probably haven't even heard your side of the story - which means they could have only gotten this malicious information that formed this bad opinion of you from ONE person... So again, if other people think badly of you when they don't know the whole story, all that is is simply EVIDENCE that you're being shit-talked behind your back by the narcissist. They aren't painting a good picture of you to other people, they aren't avoiding airing out your dirty laundry and respecting the privacy of your relationship, they aren't above omitting context and information to distort the perception of you and make themselves look like the blameless victim. So again, other people thinking badly of you without hearing you out isn't a reflection of you being bad.... it's a sign that someone is smearing you because they have no loyalty to you.

[@TheBluesman511]

I am definitely not narcisist and i am very natural man and if i did something wrong i would apologise and say i am sorry, but i would be walking on egg shells if i would be with a woman who would analize every my word or every my step.

[@mobiusmaximus586]

If only i could share this video with my wife

[@dirigopost9286]

Great and helpful videos. Can you do a video on a covert narcissist with a dismissive avoidant attachment style and how it would be different from a simple covert narcissist. Thanks

[@ionrazvan126]

My ex boss was saying everytime to everybody what can you do now if you did not like school... meaning to continue working no matter we like it or not and why are you here you are supposed to be working and so on. When he was coming he was taking seatbelt before the car was stopped and getting out fast from the car and making like a horse noise the was starting to be scary every time he was coming. At his busssines lot of people worked and still going away from him, new people every 1 year or 2.