10 Years of Dating No Ring | Relationship Advice and Chat | Queen Naija

[@therealtrinsetter]

I’ve heard women say “I don’t believe in marriage” or “there’s no point in getting married” and come to find out the men they’ve been with just didn’t want to marry them🥺 that is so sad

[@RiCra012]

They say that to keep themselves with a man who won’t commit. Marriage doesn’t matter until someone is in the hospital and you can’t make any decisions because you’re technically just a girlfriend. Many other examples of why it’s necessary as well

[@briannab.8127]

I’m sorry but why are y’all scared to have conversations about marriage but y’all not scared to live with them, have sex with them and have their children ? I’m more scared to sleep with a guy than to ask him if he’s ready for marriage and children .👀👀👀👀

[@britneyt9253]

Exactly! This culture is twisted. And you give the man everything in return for what? no commitment? No assurance he respects you enough to ACTUALLY pursue you? I find it disrespectful when men do this. Knowing well that the woman doesn’t get her time back and he can just get up and leave at anytime. Dating will not look the same between her and him as it did when she was younger if they breakup. Atleast let it be known in advance and stop wasting a woman’s precious time. How can you live with someone for so long and not make a decision on binding your relationship? It basically screams that you’re considering leaving and don’t value the woman enough to marry her. It’s a spit in the face. It’s very disrespectful and women shouldn’t be allowing this.

[@RiCra012]

Exactly!!

[@briannab.8127]

????

[@tonicrawford375]

Right

[@UrUrbanRockstar]

Majority of the time, the question is not asked for one simple reason. Women would then be held accountable to actually LEAVE AND MOVE ON if a guy actually said ‘no’ they didn’t want marriage. Women can live in their ignorant bliss as long as they never ask. And truthfully, they don’t want to walk away, or even worse…look desperate for staying well after he said he didn’t want marriage. But let’s be truthful, not many women will admit that they just aren’t willing to walk away no matter the answer he gives 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Queenlizzie18]

Baby if a man is making you wait 10 years to be his wife he HATES YOU. And you were his last resort after the other girls smarten up and left him alone, and now he has no options but you. And yes, he was exercising his options while he was with you. Also, man are rebellious by nature, you can't tell him what he will and will not do. You tell him you want a ring by 4 years, he'll prolonge it to 8 years. Men are petty like that.

[@Mocurlsss]

Heavy on HATE because trust 10 years will NEVER give like 😭😭😭

[@Datb2]

Damn rly 😢

[@jaspenthomas3]

As a married woman I agree. He always knew I was the one. We got engaged on our 2nd anniversary and married on our 3rd. I’ve always dated to marry so I made sure to tell him two years is long enough. That was my boundary.

[@cosmicbeauty5682]

Some ppl wouldn't even stay at a job for 10 years, but will be in a relationship with no benefits or security coming from it for 10+ years on a hope and a prayer that the guy will some day marry them. If marriage isn't what you want then OK... i completely understand 😂. But if you want marriage and you've been waiting for a long time and he knows you want it yet will be quick to reproduce with you, but not marry you... leave

[@Mocurlsss]

Oop! Now this was a word 😂🤭

[@thepottedplanter1184]

I could have not said this any better. This is what I preach! If YOU desire marriage then don’t settle for anything less than that.

[@Queenlizzie18]

Preach!!!

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

I just moved out of the house I shared with my ex/ the father of my child and into an apartment 2 weeks ago with our 21 month old daughter because I’ve been his girlfriend for 10 years going on with no ring. Bigger issue is I thought it was ok to procreate with a man who told me marriage is just a piece of paper and if I can’t wait on him then I can marry someone else. Don’t do it ladies, especially after you give them a child outside of a marriage they start disrespecting you and making you feel undervalued.

[@janinestephen2183]

I’m going through the same thing right now but we would’ve been going on 8 years. The minute I leave the disrespect gets worse n I have no family to lean on but im trying with everything in me to just co parent n heal 😢

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

@@janinestephen2183 I totally understand. It’s definitely not easy but lean on God and he will supply your every need and mend your broken heart. It was time for me to chose me and that’s exactly what I did. The last straw was in September he told me “ I’m just a hoee (sp), that no man would ever love me, that I’m only good for sex and that when he got with me I didn’t have ish and I still don’t have ish. That was it for me. Not to mention there is far far more things he’s done to me that I cannot even write on the internet, but yeah ! Lord knows I tried my hardest to stay and be a family for the baby but in the last few days he was really trying me, not to mention I got word a few weeks before moving that he went to Jamaica for his 38th bday as I knew he did, but for an alleged “solo trip” but he was bragging to the neighbors that he was out there having orgiess (sp) with complete strangers. That was it for me. No trying to mend anything after that !! 🤢… I wish you the absolute best and for your healing. I’m in the process of healing as well.

[@Starcrossedlover222]

God bless you girl. Sidenote you are so beautiful

[@Starcrossedlover222]

@@janinestephen2183 God bless you mama this time will pass you will get through this. Stay strong keep your head up. Sending you love n light

[@beautiful_wonderfullymade]

@@Starcrossedlover222 thank you so very much Queen. I encourage all women to leave those unintentional long term relationships and go get your healing, get closer to God and wait on your husbands 🙌

[@bsims7725]

Everything you said was spot on. I have male friends and they know y’all almost immediate. Remember “he who findeth the wife”. It won’t take 10 years for him to find you. My grandad literally only married his wife because she was done after waiting for decades. When he felt like everything was back to normal, he took it back saying he wanted things to go back to the way it was. Stop shacking up thinking it’s going to get you that ring too. When I hear someone say “we’re moving in together to go to the next level” I’m just like what?! Marriage is the next level. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@Naiki29]

The problem is most of these men have multiple kids and most by so many different women. Such a turn off. And I have no kids. And if a man has kids I just don’t even bother getting to know a man anymore. I might be called fo being single. But I bet I’m not waiting no 2, 3, 4 and more years on getting married and I’m not shacking up and we’re going to be practicing abstinence and loving for the Lord while doing it.

[@taybee4653]

As the old saying goes, why buy the cow if they are getting the milk for free?! Stop giving men all the benefits while you get nothing.

[@tyara.collins]

It doesn’t take that long. I’ve been with my husband almost 3 years. From the beginning we put our boundaries out on front street and I had met him when I was 26 about to turn 27. At the time he was 39 and had been married prior. I told him he had 2 years and if he doesn’t propose I’m out because what are we doing. Safe to say, 3 months after our 2nd anniversary we were engaged November 2023, eloped in January this year and when we have our vow renewal we will have a little ceremony. We’re doing our honeymoon in September… this man was open from the beginning, willing to help me though I never asked him to. If these men/women want to they would and wouldn’t make excuses. No one got the time for all that. After crap relationships, love bombing and a**** I wasn’t settling. People are so afraid to have those uncomfortable talks but if you don’t you’ll have a ton of wasted time and energy that you can’t get back. Be selective people.

[@lucibellasandverse]

@2:44 I agree! My hubby asked me to marry him after 7 months of dating. I just turned 23, literally. He bought the ring the day before my bday and proposed a few days later. I still felt like a kid. I wasn’t ready and didn’t want to be married. We split after for about 2 years, & then got back together. The second time he proposed it was a little over a year. I was 27 when we got married. If I got married at 23 I would’ve been way in over my head. I also agree that they know sooner, usually they know before we do.

[@SidneySavaage]

I know someone spent 10 years with her now ex boyfriend. She definitely felt she wasted time but we were telling her to leave for YEARS. She got attitudes so I just stepped back. The first time they tried to move in it fell thru and she lost her $800 deposit. It was like he was dragging his feet. Fast forward she moved in with him when he bought a house and lived with him for 2 years before she gave him an ultimatum. I told her he’s thinking why buy the cow if the milk is free. I’m glad they broke up but it is quite annoying how she’s on a smear campaign against him like she wasn’t a willing participant in the circus. I just wish more women would take accountability and acknowledge their autonomy and free will to leave or stay in these situations. You can’t expect people to do right by you. You have to do right by you first.

[@HaahmayanShaalManasseh]

My cousin just got married a year ago they’ve been together for 10 years 😢2 boys and all and she’s the breadwinner it’s sad I couldn’t wait that long I’m more scared to give a man my womb than asking for marriage.

[@amandaanderson4918]

More chatty vids! You get it!!!! I date women but I’m in my late 20s and feeling extreme pressure (I don’t whether internally or externally) to settle down. This vid is very validating to those of us that are highly selective in our love lives!

[@Mocurlsss]

Pleasseeee don’t feel pressured 😵‍💫 I know social media heck even friends will make you feel like you NEED to be with someone. There is literally no time frame besides your own on when you want that for yourself. I’ve seen some miserable af married people!

[@KimHeb.]

10 years is crazy....i think the proposal should happen in a year at least...maybe 2 after that move on

[@callmechichi1711]

Everything you said is 100% accurate! 🙌🏽

[@Mocurlsss]

Thanks boo ☺️🫶🏾

[@jonaekyoshee]

Your hair ❤

[@honeydew1754]

Yeah. When my husband proposed we I just mentioned I wasn’t taking enough seriously or living with a man I’m not married to. He mentioned he had a big surprise for me but he can never keep a secret and was saying stuff like the surprise might be sooner than you think. That was in the fall and by April we were engaged. The other boyfriend I had, we had only known each other for a year and we were looking at weddings rings. I never had to bring anything up with him.

[@Bee__474]

Ten years is a pretty long time & the question is was marriage ever brought up in middle of the relationship like maybe like five to six years in ? After truly getting to know the person do you get the impression that it's some who really wants to settle down ? Cause baby people some people are there for good time & not a long time. The last thing you want to do is settle with some who clearly shows that there not interested in being a serious relationship. I'll be damn if i'm being used as a placed holder js.

[@Aisha_babii]

What you said about some men looking for wives is true! I let society dictate my timeline and got engaged to a man who tried to force me into submission and servitude! He wanted me to cook clean and lay on my back all while giving me nothing but a ring in return… I ran for the hills!

[@lifewithakunna]

I feel like it depends on when you started dating and where you are in your lives. Like you said if they started when they are teenagers and now they are in their early to mid 20s they probably are not in that mind set. 26 and older and is reaching 10 years then I feel the conversation needs to be had. Or if they are in school, still chasing their career and STABILITY then it makes sense to hold off but the mutual goal should eventually be marriage. Now if y’all already have children and are living together then I dont know what to say.

[@aminah761]

10 years is crazy if he don’t marry u within a year he don’t want u he just using u for s

[@EsquisiteMC]

You made so many great points. Good video!!!

[@rachellemauvais4099]

Preach!!!! Thank you and God bless

[@fresh23got33]

Here I am 32 years old and my boyfriend is 35. He just asked my father for my hand in marriage after only a year of dating. My mom and godmother saying that’s too fast 😂like at first they couldn’t wait for me to get married now that opportunity is here now they have a problem with it. Meanwhile I have an older cousin that’s been with her boyfriend for almost 20 years they never have anything to say about that. Not to mention my boyfriend said he wants to make an honest woman out of me before we have children together. Like seriously lol. I’ve always said after 2 years if there’s no ring it’s time to walk. A man knows when he wants to make you his wife.

[@followGreatness]

You guys stop. He wants to make an HONEST WOMAN OUT OF YOU???? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN IN SINCE 1980. HE BETTER DO THE RIGHT THING OR GEY THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

[@RMMomma4Eva]

Queen has been with Clarence almost 7 years. Their son is 5 and a half. Add 9 months plus a few months before that, and it's almost 7 years. If she wanted him to marry her, she should have required it during the pregnancy or within a year afterward IMO. He is never going to marry her, he made that clear during the hypothetical discussion. And we've been saying it way before that. I think he has used the fact that she was already married before to back her off from requiring what she really wanted. I seem to recall that he grew up Catholic and they don't believe in divorce. And that's why he never saw her as marriage material. Truthfully she's damaged goods to him and he might enjoy being with her, regardless of the perks. But marriage, no, and if they didn't have a child it would never have lasted even this long.

[@SupremeSofias]

Loved and respected your response. I enjoy your content sis . Keep it up

[@Mocurlsss]

Thank you sis I appreciate it ☺️🫶🏾

[@ThakaneBereng]

I believe women are more afraid of having to leave a man than uphold their standards. Self love is so important ladies. I rather be selfish than selfless

[@ajakeanna]

9 years and day 354 a man will wait to marry you if he could 😭😭😭

[@stayceelanea1913]

Good points . I always say if I had of been married I would have been divorced 3xs already …

[@tonjamanigo]

5 years is too long fr fr. Don't ask me how I know😒😂

[@AmberUnfilteredShow]

I couldn’t do it! I told my husband after a few years of dating I wanted to take the next step and if he couldn’t do that, then maybe we should reevaluate the relationship. You can love someone to pieces but don’t be afraid to ask for what you want or express your intentions. I always wondered why they didn’t get married bc they seem good together. But maybe there’s something we don’t know. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@britneyt9253]

What do you do on your skin for skin care? I have the same complexion but struggle with acne

[@lalaonefirst5974]

❤❤

[@RaiseACatWithMe]

After year 3 I'm finna start asking questions. Cuz you wasting my time or not?

[@lesdeles8258]

First