#199

This is the first week of our new life without infusion 
-----------
ttps:// • Nicole's Story

[@margaretcampbell4275]

I have been an RN for close to 40 years and have seen a lot. You are 100% doing the best thing possible. You are such an inspiration to anyone undergoing this battle. My mom had lung cancer at age 61 and chose quality over quantity and was alive the same amount of time but much more comfortable at the end. I look forward to your weekly videos and send prayers to you and your wife.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🌞

[@Rnjeepshoelver]

As an oncology RN , I totally agree with you , after a while chemo does not do much ..

[@DeborahTriplett-n3l]

You are such a strong lovely person❤️ All my love and prayers. Enjoy your precious life!

[@terri5757]

At this point I can totally agree with Nicole’s decision. After following so many people battling stage 4 cancer and fighting often when they feel the need or desire to stop treatment, but they continue on often to make their family happy. Often they have no joy or peace at the end of their life. And often there is no real way of knowing if those last treatments did anything to extend their life. I’m so glad Nicole’s Wife has allowed her to do things her way. Sending love and peace to both of them.

[@Rnjeepshoelver]

@@terri5757 totally agree with you , as an oncology RN , I have seen ppl’s lives shortened and awful because OF continued treatments … and the rah rah and fight , fight of families , makes the entire situation worse.

[@paperpalacequeen]

No more puppeteers…your time to pull the strings…true bad ass warrior… Sending you healing Hugs from the UK to you and your wife❤

[@lizzynunez4906]

I think that choosing quality of life versus infusion is a brave choice to make. You are definitely NOT a quitter , choosing to live life on your own terms makes you the ultimate warrior 🦄🌈🕊️💕🌼

[@jojoFranklin]

“Make every day be special” … oh Nicole, this world needs your grace & your wisdom & your rainbow sh1t ting, take no crap. So much love to you, your wife, sister and friends. Xx

[@marilynroberts6644]

Dear Nicole.. You most certainly are not quitting. You're making the choice to enjoy this time with Gaby. You've fought harder than most throughout your entire journey. My heart goes out to you and I'm in awe of your bravery. We will all be here to see you next Sunday and in the meantime we continue to send prayers. 🙏💜🕯💜

[@Catlady52000]

Controlling the rest of your life is rare these days ….you go girl! 💜

[@LindaDouglas-Toop]

I can see why you like being in the mountains, it’s beautiful. I do look forward to your blogs every Sunday, you’re positively is mind blowing, keep up the good work, you are one amazing person. 😁

[@Mesharon777]

You have always been amazing. And now when you’re facing something difficult, you’re still amazing. You are so intelligent. It blows my mind. All I want for you. Is joy, time well spent, sharing love with your spouse, and squeezing every inch of your beautiful life out while you can. Sending many many hugs from Central Florida.❤❤❤

[@lisap4063]

We are so damn afraid to talk about end of life decisions in this culture..I have no doubt you've opened the door for many of us to have these conversations with your bad-ass bravery❤ Thank you.

[@songbird5266]

From this retired teacher of rebellious children, I have to say that I find you inner little ones delightful. And who is the teacher here? Who is vlogging about how these natural drugs help or don't help. What a service you are performing. I do know there is a huge difference between palliative care and hospice care. Hospice care has many, many tools in their toolkit, and if you get a good company, they will be happy to make sure that you can continue with your alternatives, if you want to. Death Doula Kacie is an interesting source, as is Hospice Nurse Julie. Both of them address these issues. Nicole, you are amazing. I am so glad to know you. I knew you would get to the place where you would kick cancer's a$$. Good on you for making this your frickin finest hour. Love from the PNW. 🕊💖 Keep on dancin'

[@myheartisinjapan3184]

Doing everything on YOUR TERMS! This definitely is your finest hour, Nicole. Amazing, insightful…what can I say. Everything about you leaves me in awe. With you 100% dear friend. All our love and support is with you every minute. ❤

[@suziethunderchicken8704]

I admire you dear one. Quote from old movie"Life is a banquet and most poor fools are starving to death." Continue to enjoy the banquet . Love and peace.

[@iSheree]

I love my Monday morning routine of watching you when I wake up in the morning (I am in Australia). I am going to miss that a lot. You’re not giving up, you are choosing to accept. It is the only way you can go peacefully from this world. I admire your strength and thank you for sharing your journey and thoughts with us. The reality of what it is like to have cancer. I feel guilty that I am almost in remission. I think I am going to have survivors guilt…. Lots of love to you Nicole. What is meant to be, will be. I am so happy to see that you are going with the flow and letting things be. ❤ We will all be here for you until the end.

[@user-uj3zh9iv2f]

Hi Nicole, nice to see you again this week.❤. The fact you have a choice, I'm glad you have come to a decision about it! Enjoy, enjoy whatever time you have left.. and leave your wife with happy memories, and not terrible treatment memories.. go for it Nicole! Xxx love Christine uk.

[@debraaspinwall9458]

Good for you , Nicole. You’ve inspired me for so long and you are still at it. No one knows your body better than you and taking care of you and your wife to the end is not surprising. You have this unknown friend’s support and admiration. You have fought the good fight and can hold your head high and proud. Thanks for the sharing all this time.

[@angelab5325]

The mountains are the best MEDICINE the air the peace the meditation it’s everything STAY BLESSED 😇

[@IraAltman-sz1mi]

Nicole you have stolen my heart. I look forward to hear you making these videos. You give a new meaning to the words bravery, strength and warrior. From the bottom of my heart I hope that you and your wife enjoy every moment that you have left together. I am concerned about how you move forward with your pain management plan. I want you to be aware of your surroundings but as pain free as possible. I for one will hold you in my heart forever. Sending hope, strength and hugs. ❤ Donna

[@DR3itmatters]

Hello friend, thank you for another precious Sunday. You are looking magnificent inside and out!!❤❤🎉🎉 big changes for me too finally after all the horror. I said NO. I LOVE YOU LOTS.😂 You're journey .... it matters. Wish I could meet you!

[@carolinemccolelong4886]

Wishing you and your wife every blessing to enjoy every minute you have together, lots abd lots of love, caroline from Ireland xxx❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@pierrettehebert3044]

Hi Nicole You’re looking great under the circumstances and I can’t tell you how much of a mentor you are to me I’m again in hospital for surgery dealing with complications due to blood cancer. The pain each time is more excruciating I’ve decided to complete our 🇨🇦 MAID application so that I’ll be ready to go Thank you again for your honesty ps. I still love those glasses 👓 ❤

[@heidi1651]

Lol you are so funny about the patch! I agree w all of you on this one! Keep reclaiming your time and treatment and heat it up! 😎🔥❤

[@wendymichiko]

Awww yeah babe! Taking back your life I love you and support you 1000%! How did your palliative care team forget to tell you about exposing that pain patch to heat?! I love hot showers to calm me down…so grateful you did your research. I’m excited for your psilocybin guided trips…I hear so many wonderful experiences and pray the same for you. Let’s go! 🥳👊🏼🙏🏼

[@heather4180]

Sending an ABUNDANCE of Love, Strength, Peace, Support, Light and Positive Thoughts to You, Your Wife, Family & Loved Ones. You’re an amazing soul, Nicole. ♥️✨❤️‍🩹💫

[@mariacordova-jg3mb]

You have such a positive attitude. I hope you continue to have your adventures with your wife. I will keep you in my prayers.

[@annchapman6493]

Peace, sister. Nothing but love and peace to see you home. If you get there first, look for me in The Morning.❤❤❤

[@tomnewhouse7782]

We love you! Smart decision. Please enjoy everything around you including your puppy! You still amaze me with your strength. May this transition be easy my friend. Love cancer survivor Kathy Erie pa

[@laurlannmatey7055]

You’re one helluva woman❤🎉❤

[@dixiecyr4228]

We all have no idea when we will pass, so it's up to us to live each day as our last. You are a true warrior! When I lost my uncle to cancer we let him do it his way and we respected him for his choice. I respect you for your choice and admire the true bad ass you are!!

[@lisaendress724]

My mom was 81 and got colon and liver cancer. She tried chemo twice and it was too much. She stopped treatment and lived 2 more years!!! She always had a positive attitude! Good luck to you! Enjoy each moment you have! You may have many moments!

[@joanbeach644]

Hi Nicole, I can only say how brave you are. I’m also glad you did not use that patch. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing with us. ❤🙏🏻

[@lisameader4927]

I'm very proud of you! Thank you for sharing your life with us. Love and light to you and your wife. ❤

[@ninisites6027]

You are such an inspiration! I don’t think you will ever know how many ppl you have touched in some way!!!! You are included in my prayers!!!!💜💜

[@jamesbruce6022]

I so look forward to your video on Sunday Nicole. One of the highlights of my weekend. Bless you.

[@lauramwalker86]

I said this once, and I'll say it again, You are an inspiration to me. I appreciate you and your honesty.

[@lucyfritz3232]

You are settled in your soul about your decision-and that’s a beautiful place to be. As a hospice social worker for 23 years …I can say categorically…that it isn’t “giving up” to follow your soul. When folks have that understanding within themselves there is a reawakening that takes place. In regard to the medication-I totally get it. There are a lot of options for pain control. When you start low and go slow it will work. What you don’t want is pain taking over and robbing you of the very quality you’re searching for. Avoiding a pain crisis is best-the balancing of being in control and having relief is the sweet spot your palliative/hospice team will guide you through. As always-best to you. 🌈🦄☮️💟✨

[@feastmastress]

🙌🏻❤️💪🏻🌈

[@Barbara-ch3qf]

Hi Nicole. It’s wonderful that you fought for and won five years and that this last season of your life you get to live on your own terms. Treatment is a vortex and once you’re in it, it’s hard to fight your way out! I hope this time is fulfilling and joyful, as joyful as it can be. You’ll know when you need the heavy artillery when it comes to the pain meds. Enjoy those mountains, the time with your wife, and your very sweet pup! I’m glad I got to meet you in this para social way. You’ve given me much to think about!

[@susanakins7985]

I'm wishing you the most magical, beautiful Tuesdays ever for the rest of your life.

[@LynetteA68]

That’s EXACTLY what happened to me when I had to be on the fentanyl patch!! NO ONE …not a doctor not a nurse not a pharmacist…literally NO ONE told me I couldn’t get into a hot bath!!! I got into a hot bath on the day of my daughters baby shower (my FIRST grandchild) and I literally ended up OD-ing and had to be rushed from the baby shower (I missed) to the ER!!! Only way I’d leave is if my best friend and daughter agreed to stay and continue the baby shower!! Of course no one at that time knew I was overdosing!!! NO ONE TELLS PEOPLE ENOUGH ABOUT THESE DAMN DRUGS!!

[@feastmastress]

Omgoodness that must have been soooooo scary and it stole your special day 😔

[@LynetteA68]

@@feastmastress terrifying especially now when I think I would’ve missed out on the birth and life of my first granddaughter and 5 more grandkids after her!! I’m just grateful to be alive today!! ✌🏼🫶🏼

[@pianolady726]

Nicole, I am behind you in whatever path you choose to take ❤️ you have been an inspiration to me and countless others. You tackle whatever comes your way with grace, dignity, and a sense of humor. We all should aspire to be more like you ❤️ Love always, your friends in NYC ❤️

[@Seeingisntbelieving]

I think it’s amazing you’ve had 5 more years-what a blessing💙! My cousin had this disease and was gone in 11 months-5 more than they thought. She was 25 years old-she had her 25th birthday 2 weeks before she passed away 11/25/2014. May your next life be filled with happiness and joy!

[@donnacash8124]

You are such an amazing strong woman. Sending lots of love to you and your wife 💞💞💞💞

[@louise8752]

LOVE to you my dear!! xoxo- You are an incredible woman. I'm so proud of you!!

[@kristypaul8067]

Sending you big hugs and prayers to you and your family ❤ Nicole

[@JS-jx5eq]

Nicole, with pain management, whatever works for you! No pressure for opioids, Also as stated doesn’t have to be a patch, can be oills and hey if you are able to have pain managed by weed or whatever works for you then so be it.

[@queenbuzybee4074]

Nicole, I do not think it’s quitting! You are at peace with yourself and in control of your life. I‘ve also seen people in denial, clinging to treatment up until the end and it’s terrible. The outcome is always the same. Going on your own terms is the bravest and most honest thing anyone can do. I look up to you!

[@JS-jx5eq]

I think it is an individual choice for everyone and no person stands in a position to state otherwise, It is not quitting, it is just peoples choices,

[@nicoleziegler6112]

Kudos....you have become master of your domain.....!

[@safaridreamer5831]

Praying your pain stays minimal for you long enough to enjoy the springtime….💐🌻🌼🌷🌺💐🌹🙏🙏❤️❤️

[@rhondagage8527]

You are an ambassador of knowledge of the individual of the choices of the decisions of the owning those decision of the nobody else’s damn business making those decisions of the kindness and grace of the Champion you truly are . Onward darling the best to you and your wife and the incredible gift of your time you are giving to her and all of us watching your experience .. thanks for all your sharing and spreading light and love

[@sandrawheeler6208]

You're such an inspiration..... Sending love and peace to you both.

[@threepurrs]

Nicole, sending love, hugs and healing thoughts. Shitting rainbows every inch of the day. 💕💕🥰

[@KateCollins-Thompson]

Definitely not quitting!!! YOU are in control! How life affirming is that. Sending supportive hugzzz from 🇨🇦❤️

[@thomasserein9110]

Hi Nicole. I love you so much for what you are my sweet heart. You are doing this in the best way rockstar ❤❤💚💜💙💛💕💓💌🙏

[@terrymoorefield5918]

Hi Nicole, you inspire me so much. I feel like you've made the right decision for you and your wife. I'm sad to think about the end that eventually you will be facing, but I would probably do the same as you. I look forward to your chats every week, and hope for many more. I wish you all the best, and lots of love and happiness for you and your wife. Until next Sunday, my friend.

[@RovingReader]

Thinking of you! You're doing great with what you've been given.

[@st.louisslimii568]

We are proud of what ever you guys decided 💙 to do! We are proud of all the choices that were made!🤩😎💝 Thank you guys for the extraordinary opportunity into your world 🌎!🫶👏🤓😉🕯🎆🎈🏆🥇 Your words will always be in thoughts!🎄🎃🎁🔮😎🪻🪴🍁🍂🐶🏞

[@tonypadilla9933]

Thank you for sharing your journey 🌼 you are amazing. Sending you healing thoughts for your pain management. Peace to you and your wife.

[@TobyGordon-e8r]

Thank you for sharing what you are feeling and thinking. I can see you having that inner dialog. I always tell my kids listen to your instincts. Only you know what is right for you and your wife!

[@mickietaylor8186]

It’s not quitting Nicole. It’s your decision. ❤

[@avarismimi]

I care so much about you . I have learned so much from you & I am always amazed by you. Brave & beautiful & doing life your way your choice. Thanks for sharing your life with us. I’ll always remember you for being a lovely brave character who live life like nobody’s business! Love Cheryl 💌🩵🤍💙

[@karinasanchez3285]

Hi there sweet Nicole 🫶🏻, it makes me happy to see you and your wife enjoying your time and making plans for being in a space and time where you will be at peace both emotionally and physically… sending much much love and peaceful light to you both. ✨💗

[@LoraleiMarr]

Nicole, you are pure delight. As you go through your struggles, you help me deal with mine--becoming a bilateral below knee amputee and the past 3 years of dealing with horrific-ness and losing my quality of life. I'm sick of people telling me that I'm strong--when I cry everyday. Go and grab your wife and that little gang of kids and just keep on doing things on your terms. Thank you for sharing and living your life to the fullest.

[@LoriWolfeRealtor]

❤❤❤ keep dancing to your own beats girl ❤❤❤

[@margaretries2606]

You rock. You enjoy your life now.!

[@jackschitt6235]

I know this isn't in the same category BUTT an Endocrinologist put me on Trulicity that was aggressively advertised on tv for a long time. I got so sick I told him I was done with that 🐀 rat poison! But I'm "only" living with diabetes not cancer. Best of luck to you either way.

[@tinacollins2055]

I just saw a video about Fenbendazole, a dog wormer! Here is amazingly what I found: several early studies have provided initial evidence suggesting fenbendazole have potential in treating various types of cancer! Seems research is showing cancer is a parasite and the wormer kills parasites!

[@joanneantoniak7760]

Your explanation is always so clear and beautifully worded - i understand what you are saying on such a profoundly deep level. Spring is coming - if it's possible you will make it. I think when it comes to the BIG controlled drugs if the time comes if your pain is unmanageable with everything you are doing - the transition might be easier or humanely necessary .. if that makes sense. Keeping you close and sending strength and love ❤🇨🇦

[@pythonking7310]

I support your decision, as hard as it is. I love the fact you started using some weed and shrooms! After my cancer, I decided to use it daily to control my panic attacks and anxiety, which it does wonders for. But it also helps me spiritually. Could always try some RSO if you are able to get some. Prayers for you!

[@rhondawhatley1591]

Nicole your amazing and doing the right thing. I pray that God gives you strength to get through this and give you the best time and longest you possibly can get

[@pate2680]

Love to you guys. There are still adventures to be had. ❤

[@denisepaulsenful]

Love the tunes, sister ❤ .,. Ohmigawd you are such a hoot - honestly Nicole - I was in stitches here when you’re talking about the most serious of things like the fentanyl patch, and what they plum forgot to tell y’all- whoopsie cushion 😂 … you should try a local stand-up gig … and I’m not meaning to be disrespectful. … but you really made me giggle ❤. … loving you so much Nicole as you sidle up to the hardest of the hard - in your most inimitable style and panache … we’re loving you so very much Nicole, up here in Toronto where we’re making every day count. Even the shitty ones. ❤❤ You, my dear, rule … xo 😘

[@raymarriss2440]

Quality out weights quantity. You live travel and enjoy what life has in store. Don't worry about tomorrow, since the choosen date is already written in the book of life. We just live everyday closer to that day when we are called home. ❤

[@crimsonflutter1]

Thank you for sharing your journey. I love you and am so inspired.

[@patwaters1235]

Definitely think you have made the right decision. You really are such an inspiration and it is wonderful you are sharing your experience. Gives others something to think about and helpful in making their decisions. Look forward to joining you through your journey. Pat Victoria Tx 😢

[@nana2five790]

“ It’s not quitting, it’s choosing life”…… that says it all! ❤️❤️

[@sherrithomas4350]

What an inspiration you are. Not only making tough decisions about what is best for you and your wife, but sharing all the intimate details so we can make better decisions. Supporting you 100% friend, no judgement here. I hope to see you next Sunday, as always. Hugs to you both. Beautiful pictures as you continue to make memories.

[@jronkowski4346]

Good luck with the next part of your life .

[@josedavidlopez5922]

You are so strong! Warrior blessings

[@kristimartinez7528]

So much respect for you and your wife.. sending love ❤

[@vsdooley23]

Do what's best for you agree with your decision.

[@decoledye9703]

I absolutely love you. You are such an inspiration on how to shit rainbows. That chemo you declined on Tuesday could have been the one that killed you. So by not going, you have extended your time here with your beautiful wife. Wishing you as many more months as possible here sharing your Sundays with us ❤

[@may-beeart7930]

You will be fine. Live till you die. It's that simple. It's natural it's life. Enjoy your life

[@ChristineWilloughby]

You are a true warrier!!! Blessings to you and your wife.

[@micheleoconnell8749]

I think you will realize this is a good but hard decision. I see too many people fighting until the end in agony. I think you will have many more happy times to build memories. There always comes a times hen you know.

[@fififirestone3787]

I support you Nicole and all your decisions for your care and your life. I wish you lots of peace and joy as you reclaim your Tuesdays and life without treatment.

[@mindsinsane]

Time for me to start creating my appreciation package of love to send you and Gabby. We are truly fortunate that our lives get to be touched by you. Our ray of inspiration. Love always

[@susanehlava3808]

I’m sure you will enjoy some more special times. The mountains look glorious ❤

[@jerilynwomack2012]

Nicole I owe you an apology for what I said it came out wrong I was upset and am sincerely going to miss you. I understand why your doing what your doing I guess I’m old fashioned. I’m defiantly not use to modern medicine but I get it please accept my apology I’m sorry it came out the way it did. Prayers and big hugs to both of you.

[@feastmastress]

It appears to me that you spoke to soon … as we all do sometimes ❤️💪🏻🌈

[@kayleighlou8483]

Love you ❤proud of you Nicole

[@DebGeeDee]

You are for sure choosing life - very courageous. We are learning a lot from you 🤗😘⭐️🦋🌈

[@kathy5706]

My 73 year old father was diagnosed with cancer a number of years ago. His oncologist said he could start chemo, but it would be brutal, could even die during treatment. I spoke with his dr privately and asked “if this was your dad, what would you tell him to do?” His response was “I’d tell him to buy a suitcase and go live”. My dad didn’t want to go through treatment, and he actually had a good year, traveled, visited family, and spent his last 6 weeks in a caring hospice home. It’s not quitting if you opt not to spend the rest of your days being a lab rat. I’ve seen several people live a year or two, being so ill and then losing the battle. I’ve always said if I’m diagnosed with cancer, I’m doing exactly what my father did. I wish you the very best. take good care of yourself and enjoy every day.

[@cristincarter1]

You are a warrior! Deciding to live the best life you can is wonderful and beautiful. I'm glad you feel validation for the decision you made even if you didn't need it. Choice is a wonderful thing. My sister has worked in hospice for most of her nursing career. She told me that the people who have the hardest time letting go and have the biggest struggles dying have been nuns. There is something about God and their belief that keeps them from making the best choice for themselves. It's so sad. I feel for your friend. That's no way to live at the end of your life.

[@calgirl41]

I have been following your journey for a while now, and I must tell you that you are a brave and beautiful person. Such an inspiration! You and your wife are in my prayers!

[@mandyauger1035]

You are an absolute angel and perfectly handpicked by God . What a beautiful soul and pushing through your strength. I don't know you, but I love you with all my heart ♥️ ❤️ 💓 💙

[@mamitachichi]

That scenery is magical 🤩 sending love to you, your family and your friends xx

[@susanpaige47]

You are one amazing inspiration!! 🎉🎉🎉

[@KyleWelter]

So damn glad you didn’t OD in that hot tub 😅. Thank you thank you for walking through everything with us. All my love.

[@my-4th-cancer]

I agree, there comes a point where one says 'enough is enough' and that decision comes quite naturally. I wish you good luck, and the pictures at the end of the video show that you picked a magnificent scenery. Be well Nicole.

[@madgrace7992]

I love the pic of the three of you at the end there! Always happy to see you and hear your thoughts. I think that’s a very good decision you’ve made. Wishing you peace, happiness and comfort. ❤️

[@vl1550]

Hello Nicole, so good to see you!❤ Sending you lots of love, light, prayers and a great big hug! ❤❤❤

[@DD-si6qm]

Is so hard for me to undrestand the mechanics if this decision, but this is just because I hadn't experienced what you did in the last years. You are a lovely lady and your videos bring a point of understanding of the disese, the life, the perspective of passing which is so scary for many of us. But this is just our own filters. I really hope that you have a great time and maybe keep us updated, your input about all this is great value, and you are a great value.

[@susanguyer8146]

You are so right, Nicole! You are choosing quality over quantity, and that's such a brave thing to do. Have a wonderful walk! ❤