**2016 Ivycharlaine update: baby, depression, suicide, new house, LIFE**

It's been a long time, but I promise I didn't leave for good. 2015 was an extremely rough year for me. I've dealt with baby issues, death, depression and just LIFE! It's too much to even get into in one video. I decided I wanted to get very personal with you guys beyond just natural hair. So allow me to share my heart with you......
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[@ivycharlaine]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPORT, LOVE, PRAYERS AND ENCOURAGING WORDS. I READ ALL OF MY COMMENTS AND I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

[@lisayvette1lee]

Please take your time to grieve your lost. Thanks for sharing. Peace and Blessings to you.

[@xudiva03]

I'm so sorry. But, there is purpose for all of the heartache and difficulties you've endured. Your experiences will bless and encourage many. That's why He's leading you to expand your topics. Praying for your continued strength and peace. Enjoy that new home!!

[@cheyennemckenzie8493]

When you said sometimes you wish you could still call her it touched my heart cause I still have the number of my aunt who passed away 2 years ago on my phone. I just can't imagine her not being on the other side of the phone

[@marissasimms]

I'm sorry for your loss. I appreciate your transparency on your feelings/life. Make sure you take all the time you need to mourn and not try to push yourself too hard.

[@ChloeDeBre]

Don't worry dear--take your time to grieve, be happy, or whatever emotion you need to feel. I follow you on Facebook as well and immediately started praying for you when you posted about your best friend. I am completely excited about your new videos dealing with life trials and triumphs. You are GORGEOUS inside and out. God bless you and your family.

[@cherron3164]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost my best friend in 2014 and I think of her everyday. The memories will get you through.

[@nme0203]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think you are extremely brave for taking the time to share this w/your followers and I applaud you for talking about "real" subject matter that goes on in the lives of so many. Looking forward to more of your videos. Take your time... We're here when you're ready. 😊

[@nails.and.dumbbells2250]

This video really touched me. I just lost my grandma nearly 2 weeks ago and I am totally numb. It's the worse feeling in the world I know she was old but it doesn't make it easier. I feel your pain. God bless you and your family. You will get through this..X much love from the UK xx

[@nails.and.dumbbells2250]

Sorry if it seemed like u went on about me. I just wanted you to know that I understand purely due to losing my grandma so recently. I do genuinely wish you all the best. X

[@kellywilliams9142]

Just found your channel today. I am so sorry about your friend. I also watched your video on suicide and your struggles with depression. I believe that is a subject that needs to be discussed more than we care to admit. I like that you want to discuss more on your channel. Sometimes we can start on a journey only for God to want us to do more, or something different, but maybe the way you started, was a way to build an interest and following. I have been natural for 2 years now, and I am in my fifties, but it seems like going natural became more than just about hair, seems like I started to question my life purpose at this season in my life. Thank you very much for your openess.

[@covinah]

You have such a beautifully vibrant soul . I'm so sorry you had to go through this and that your friend felt the way she did . Thank you for sharing this story. it's very warming to see you growing from this. May God protect and heal you especially in this time of need. Many prayers, blessing and love .

[@Mattielife]

So glad to see you back. I'm so sorry to hear what have been going on in your life. When you spoke about your best friend I was so in tears and my heart was heavy. The reason I guess I got that away is that I've experienced the same situation when I was 17. My sister who was 20 at the time committed suicide and it was devastating. My mother who now resting in peace never lived that down. So now they both are together in heaven. Again I'm so sorry you had to experience a lost and my prayers will always be with you. Thanks so much for sharing. Be blessed Mattie

[@SpiralsAndLife]

Hugs and so much love to you!! Here you are reaching out to me and you have been going through it. We are over here lifting you up!! Prayers and blessings to you and your family!! You look so beautiful!! Hoping our physical crosses paths one day:-)

[@shuganaps]

So brave of you to share this. God will heal this pain. God bless you, your family, and your friend's family. I am looking forward to the new direction of your channel.

[@michellesardison793]

Hi, thank you for making this video, i dont come on this often buti just happen to click on to this one.. well done for speaking out, i also lost a friend/neighbour in february from suicide, it is an extremely painful situation..as a therapist its a breath of fresh air when people talk. take care Michelle (trinilady)

[@shunee12]

I am so for your loss. Depression is REAL . I suffered with it for 10+ years after my 1st son was born. then after my youngest son kinder graduation last year. I felt the sadness really bad and had to save me from myself and go to the hospital and it you know what? I'm happy I did...Talking to someone ( Doctors) and IF needed taking med until you can get back on your feet can do a WORLD of difference. It pains me to hear this :(.. My your friend rest in peace.

[@MH-wh5xj]

Im sorry for your loss. My father did the same and Im still trying to deal with it. Please do not feel like you could have done anything, and Im happy that you got a chance to share your love with her.

[@reeshemahallen8071]

I love your transparency. Life happens. Grieving is a process that we all do differently. There is no wrong way to grieve. God bless you.

[@CurlyCeeCee]

Sending lots of hugs and praying for you! Thanks for sharing a bit of yourself with us--it might help someone who is struggling. Congratulations on the new house! You look lovely as always! God Bless.

[@Sunshine29225]

I'm glad to see you back on KZbin. My heart goes out to you as you share a bit of your life. I'm praying that God continue to comfort you and look forward to you using your channel to glorify Him. Stay beautiful, keep the faith and continue to smile (even through the tears).

[@jaasminfoote6908]

I'm so sorry for your loss Nicole. I hope you and her family and other friends find solace in this hard time. Im glad you're back.

[@nichollesimpson4853]

So sorry for your lost! Congrats on your new home and keep pushing forward. I have enjoyed watching your growth. Stay prayed up and with God all things are possible!

[@mskayshante81]

Hey Nicole. You don't ever have to apologize for living life and going through the day to day challenges. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. My uncle committed suicide and once he knew how he would go out, he had so much peace about it. No one knew his plans but he made sure to see those closest to him before he left. I'm in agreement with what you said about your friend and although it hurts so bad, please allow yourself all the time on the world to grieve.

[@TheBrittbritt14]

I just want to give you a great big hug!!!! I am so sorry to hear about your best friend. My grandfather committed suicide as well. I understand the confusion and disbelief that comes with the grief of losing someone that way. I have never met you but your beautiful spirit is apparent in your videos and I am so glad to see that despite all you have been through and are going through you haven't lost that beautiful spirit or your faith. I pray that God continues to strengthen you during this difficult time. Your KZbin family loves you! Take care!

[@candacewilliams1822]

So glad your back. Your not alone..we will be praying for you. Sending blessing and comfort your way.

[@shellatx]

Of course we'll stick with you. So sorry for your lose. Welcome back, I look forward to continuing to support your channel.

[@youp130]

Thanks for sharing your story. I completely understand what you're going through. I lost my very best friend to suicide 2.5 yrs ago and EVERYTHING you're feeling, I have felt. I'd advise you seek therapy if you have not already. I didn't, and it affected me majorly. I'm praying for you. - devonda

[@BBLuster]

Peace and healing to you! My Best friend died a year and a half ago. It wasn't suicide, but it was one of the most difficult things Ive ever had to go through. We have been best friends for 20 years. She was my daughters godmother and was extremely close to her. She took it really hard. It really does take time. I've never went through something that took me through every emotion. I know it doesn't seem like it now... but it will get easier. Slowly... take it day by day.

[@Amanisoul77]

Sorry to hear about your best friend and everything else that you have been struggling with...You will be able to push forward but give yourself time in dealing with everything... You have already started by being able to talk about it...Cry when you need to... It is all a part of healing...I pray that God gives you the strength and comfort you need to gain clarity and be at peace...I've been following since you started...You have a wonderful spirit...God bless!

[@kyristal]

So glad to see you're back! Excited to see where your channel goes ! Your honesty and Transparency could make all the difference in someones life !

[@PrttyBrwnEyez13]

So sorry for your loss, Nicole. May your friend's soul rest in peace.

[@maritza63]

Welcome back! We missed you! You look GORGEOUS. God is with you.

[@boogie1150]

I'm so sorry for your loss! Continue to have faith and look to God for strength and guidance. I will say a prayer for you, and your beautiful family. It's great to see you back!

[@mklane05]

sorry for your loss and thank you for being open and sharing your life experiences with us. I too suffer from infertility however I was able to conceive and have a little girl - she's three now. I followed your channel before you were pregnant with Kingston and of course up to present. Stay encouraged and again thank you for having the courage to share.

[@curlyt00]

girl you are in my prayers. I'm so sorry this has happened. Life! you can do it. push forward. substance will help us all who subscribe to u. I look forward to your return

[@LanaBana2931]

You crossed my mind randomly a couple months ago and I had a feeling that I should pray for you and your family, so I did. I'm so sorry for your loss and will continue to pray for you. Please stay strong and know that you aren't in this alone. I've been a subscriber for years now and always loved your channel. I'm excited to see you expand your content. I think it will be therapeutic for you as well. God bless!

[@dawnmichelledance]

I'm so sorry for your loss and thank you for being so open to sharing what's been going on with you. Sending you and your family love and prayer!

[@Misslovlii14]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's hard, but you'll get through it. Stay strong!

[@LindseyTamRen]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. A couple of years ago I had a friend who also took her life. I had no idea or was not aware that anything was going on that would have lead her to this. One day I was texting her a birthday wish as she had went away to visit her mother. She said that she had a wonderful visit with her and seemed alright. Shortly after that, my mother-in-law passed away. When my husband and I came back from her funeral, I asked a few people at the gym where my friend and I worked out together if they had seen her because I had not heard from her. I was told by her co-worker that she had committed suicide but could not provide any details. I was devastated and shocked. I had feelings of guilt, thoughts of what could I have done different, did I miss anything, etc... I had to come to terms with her death and realize that it was not my fault. It is very hard to lose someone regardless of the circumstances. Just know that you were a wonderful friend to her and that she is at peace now. Keep the wonderful memories of her alive in your heart. I pray that the Lord will continue comfort you and give you peace. Blessings to you and your beautiful family.

[@Jambeauty098280]

I'm so sorry for your loss!! We love you! I'm glad you took time to look after you!

[@Jidigga81]

Aww so happy to see your face! Praying for your strength through everything.

[@Jadison03]

Awww...I'm so sorry for your loss. So happy to see your face! So happy for you and your family!

[@sanalb9191]

I'm glad you're working/pressing through everything.

[@ComplexxRayy]

Happy you're back, missed you!! So sorry to hear about your friend's passing.

[@canela0814]

You know that we love you. I have watched your channel since you started and I remember you did a video when you went to visit your friend. I pray that the good memories you have of your friend will help you through this time. I appreciate you sharing and look forward to the additional topics you will have in the future.

[@truemoniqueflowers4928]

Yay, Clemson! Sorry for the loss of your friend and a success to your life as a mom!

[@TheBlessedmomof3]

May God bless, comfort and keep you... I pray that he gives you peace that passeth all understanding in your time of grief. Thanks for the update... I look forward to seeing more videos in the weeks to come.

[@savtelly3817]

I am glad you are back. I am so sorry to hear about your best friend. I can not imagine what you are going through. Lean on the Lord for strength because when it gets dark that is really all you can do. I recently went through a miscarriage with my hubby and it got so dark for me that all I could do was say Psalm 23. I didnt think I would ever get out of that place. But Jesus is faithful. He really is.

[@preciousgoods1]

My heart goes out to you. You and your friend's family will be in my prayers. I pray for your strength through this difficult time. ❤️

[@raspberrymelon]

I'm so sorry about your friend. I will be keeping you in my prayers. Seeing your pain and grief made me want to go on. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts and I could never see clearly at that time how much my loved ones would hurt because I was in such a dark place. Take all the time you need. I've always loved your channel and will stick with you. I'm glad that you will continue your channel and am excited for your new videos.

[@Lisaandwhite]

Will continue to lift you and the family in prayer.

[@lexking3249]

Oh man so so sorry for your loss. I pray that God comfort you and heal your broken heart....

[@leesasofly]

I am sorry for your loss, that is tough but God sees us through everything. I am happy you are back, congrats on the new home and new vision for your channel.

[@bmarieroes]

I'm so sorry for your loss! Glad to see you back

[@chantellhowardbaber1172]

Ivy, I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you during this time. We don't know the plans God has for our lives but this trial this test is your testimony for others. Sending you a big Jersey girl hug from the ATL. Continue to be the light God made you to be and use it to spread his message to others. God Bless you and your family. Congrats on the new house that is something to celebrate.

[@urbanfabchic]

I wish you peace and strength as your heart heals.

[@chenice14c16]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. Thank u for being so open with us. May God be with u.

[@nickid5091]

So touching...

[@semariahsimpson1091]

Glad you back! I am so very sorry for your loss and the struggles you have been dealing with. I pray for you and your family that God will continue to grant you peace and with a new baby in HIS time. Love from Cali. ~Be Blessed~

[@quietstorm6710]

I know you are doing a video and trying not to cry but that must have been a big loss in your life. I know because I almost lost my best friend to cancer but her treatment helped. I'm sorry for your loss. And to be honest my best friend almost lost me. It was years ago but I was found before the pills took me. I'm sorry if this hurts you. But this definitely made me think all those years ago when she almost lost me to suicide. Lost my cousin to that. I appreciate your honesty and openness.

[@daqueen626]

My condolences to you and her family. 🙏🏾 congratulations on your new house. Your hair looks amazing. 🌹

[@TheMoChronicles]

You have such a beautiful spirit. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I can't even imagine.....

[@MMM-b5w]

I'm so sorry. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Congrats on the new house...looking forward to more vids.

[@keelioness]

So sorry for your loss. You look great in spite of everything. Congrats on the house as well

[@ptt218]

So sorry for your loss. May God bless you and bring you peace.

[@lloydsgal]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family.

[@lifeofshellz2974]

So sorry for your loss. Stay positive. Stay strong. And most importantly take your time. 💜

[@stylepoise6924]

Wow, I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers. Thanks for being so transparent re: your journey. XoXo

[@jamrock0485]

My condolences to you, friends and family. Continue to thrive... your transparency is appreciated. God bless you.

[@MoniqueJay50]

😢so sorry for your loss. Depression is REAL!

[@Peacebestill2]

Sorry for your loss. Congrats on the new house. All things are working for your good He's intentional! Purpose ... process to the promise! you look fantastic! Ang

[@niquee93]

Much love, many hugs and continuous prayer coming your way!!! You are such a strong woman and admired for just being so open and transparent! So sorry for the loss of your friend! Your strength & your comfort comes from the Lord! Blessings to you and yours! Remember to pray your way through! Look up and smile💞

[@lifewithdestiniii]

Im So Sorry For Your Lost. My Prayers Go To You .

[@willie2374]

Praying for you and your family during this time.

[@sddunlop]

He will never put more on you then you can bear, God can heal if you let HIM!!! Prayers are sent your way Stay strong sista and Congrats on the new home. Hold on to the week she gave you and the years she gave you as a Sista\Friend. Keep her alive by telling your son what a great Godmother she was ( IS) thanks for sharing and this problem needs to be talked about so let GOD use you my sista and I look forward to the beautiful video that will come from this, He can take a Bad problem and turn into something Beautiful. The devil is busy but God is Busy TOO!!! Thanks for sharing and Stay BLessed....

[@ivycharlaine]

thank you so much!! God is keeping me :))

[@lattiem77]

God Bless you, I am so sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need to heal. Know that your friend is happy & at peace. 💞

[@rainbowbrite621]

I am so sorry to hear about your friend's passing.

[@ASnowTV]

Prayers of strength & peace are with you & your besties family. 🙏🏽I believe you went through it like this because it happened abruptly. While any death is sad....when there is an illness, while its devaststing, you just have more time to prepare. An adjustment period. This was different.Congrats on the new house & your new journey.Much love always!! ❤️💕Adrienne

[@CuPCAkEBaYBaY]

My condolences to you! Stay strong doll! Glad you're back! ❤️

[@feemarie83]

I'm so sorry for you loss. *big hug*

[@lspencerwrites5399]

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope everything gets better for you.

[@Mimi-s8k]

Thanks for sharing . I'm so sorry for your loss.Praying for you .

[@datsexiepana]

God bless you and your family during this time

[@shauntaestewart3846]

So sorry for your loss. I live in SC. I will pray for you.

[@delicious282]

I'm so very sorry for loss, but God is good and he'll help you in your healing.

[@WickedAwesome2002]

ugh so sorry for your loss

[@BreLee003]

You are a strong woman you will get through this.

[@Mika_Blee]

I'm praying for you! Stay strong. God won't give you more than you can bare.

[@laydeemuff]

Sorry for your loss & congratulations on your move!

[@knlouis173]

💞💞 sorry for loss! Welcome back 🤗

[@hershe782005]

I'm so glad to see you again. I pray that God comforts and strengthens you. Just continue to hold every memory of her in your heart and your days will get better. The best feeling is you knowing that she is with Our Father in Heaven. That is the best comfort. It feels good knowing that she is no longer hurting and is safe in Gods arms Knowing that really helped me personally when I dealt with the death of someone close. God is our strength and He is full of Love and is Love.

[@TheLordsPrecious]

Biggest hugs to you! I'll be praying for you.

[@KimorasMommy]

I miss you too, I was thinking about you the other day. Glad you're back.

[@KimorasMommy]

So sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my Prayers.

[@ErikaDawn]

Praying for you God will keep you strong. I lost my best friend 2006 to a drug overdose. I miss here but I know she watches me

[@imarabailey354]

Keeping you in my prayers!

[@cbplibra1012]

Love and blessing to you. Thank you soooo much for sharing!!!

[@tpr0913]

I'm sorry for your loss. i was looking for my fitbit buddy ☺ take care of yourself emotionally first. Things will fall back into place.

[@melissasmith4254]

Sorry for your lost. I can relate tho with losing a best friend in middle school. she died in a fire, and I didn't know cuz I literally just talked to her the day before on the bus which was the last day I sawed her. I didn't go to school the day after cus something personal happened I think, but when I came to school & got the news I was devastated. So I know the feeling ain't easy. Another best friend I know almost committed suicide two years. Thank god she's still here tho. Overall I can relate. I commend you for always opening up when you can even if you need to take time off from youtube. And honestly I can't wait for you to talk about more than just hair. No offense to the hair lovers. But i am a 18 year old that haves a few aspirations, and loves all the reminding guidance I can get in my life to not lose any sanity. So I love to hear you talk. Keep it up please. Love you. Also stay strong :)

[@Chicworkingmom]

So sorry for your loss. God will get you through it. Thanks for sharing.

[@curlsbygrace]

Sorry for your loss💛 You look awesome!