21 Jobs Your Guidance Counselor Didn't Mention - mental_floss List Show Ep. 419

[@danheidel]

"There's nothing stopping you from just going out there and juicing your own snakes." - John Green

[@robertneal4244]

+Dan Heidel Actually he said "milking" your own...but that works too. I wonder if he intended the masturbatory reference.

[@2nd3rd1st]

+Robert Neal Of course he did, everyone can see how liberal and confident this man is with sexuality! A right stud!

[@philipwilson2606]

+2nd3rd1st Hey, have i seen you commenting on MCUEx videos? If so, small world!

[@luchewigg168]

"it can help get a horse back on track"... ha ha ha good one.

[@pipuk3]

"but getting licensed isn't easy, it takes over 220 hours of horse work"yeah but its mostly *Horsing around* :3

[@nickleppert2965]

Wow really

[@thermonuclearcat5419]

Am I imagining it, or does John look and sound like he dies a little every time he mentions a sponsor?

[@mochi112295]

hahahaha 😂😂😂

[@amalzuhair4495]

He's like saying this is the bane of my existence with his eyes

[@AndySaenz]

Each morning I wake up, I die a little, can't barely stand on my feet...

[@tylerrobertson202]

+zucchini2007 i see you man

[@legotrillermoth]

most KZbinrs would probably not feel like they're exploiting their fans for a corporation. i don't have any problem with sponsorships but a lot of youtubers themselves hate them, but have to do them to pay the bills (although tbh bestselling authors like John with films and several other successful projects really don't)

[@alphayourface]

That "lice removal service" really bugs me =P

[@reese4645]

I appreciate you. 😄

[@alphayourface]

JustBe BRAVE ^_^

[@wiet111]

I don't know if anyone will read this, but have you considered putting sources in the doobly-doo? I'm sure you have them, so it can't be too hard to copy and paste them, and allows me to read more when I find a certain thing interesting or dubious :).

[@girlythingsaw]

+PepeDuhPew #GradeAisgettingannoying

[@evanzorman5285]

I'm sure if you checked the magazine or the website they would be cited

[@BlacIyc]

+PepeDuhPew #GreatAgainJokesGettingOld

[@wiet111]

Ev Zorg I checked quickly, I couldn't find it. If it's there, it's not clear enough. Some links in the doobly-doo would be better :)

[@IamLucky87]

+girlythingsaw #Yesheis

[@Rezkeshdadesh]

Snake Milker sounds like a euphemism.

[@Liam-lr8if]

+Rezkeshdadesh "Juicing reptiles"

[@olpappers3991]

+Rezkeshdadesh "But nothing is stopping you from going out and milking your own snakes." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@Rezkeshdadesh]

Ol Pappers Well, except a lack of snakes.

[@seanmcnew18]

I'd have made so much money in middle school.

[@Rezkeshdadesh]

Sean McNew I think there's only money in it if you milk other people's snakes.

[@SoulOfTheReaver]

4:42 "But there's nothing stoping your from just going out there and... m-milking your own snake" - watch John's epic struggle to keep a straight face during that line.

[@Ellimanist15]

"Too bad you didn't become a real chiropractor..." "I AM A REAL CHIROPRACTOR!" "You're a HORSE chiropractor dear."

[@Holobrine]

2:44 Good point. Maybe I'll plant weed in my yard XD

[@kingben9834]

Friends at Allstate? Geico better watch out John is foolin around with other insurance companies!!!!!

[@Qermaq]

4:42 I was milking my own snake when he said this.

[@thedesucomplex4365]

Yeah, turf grass sucks. Especially being somewhere where it isn't sustainable but you are expected to keep it up anyway.

[@TacComControl]

"There's nothing stopping you from milking your own snake!" Context is everything, John. Context is everything.

[@Anna_Stetik]

WTF? I used to joke about being a "mattress tester" so that I could sleep and let them know how good the mattress was...and YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT'S A REAL JOB?!?!? Why don't you tell us how to get these jobs? That is my dream job!

[@newfreenayshaun6651]

I could imagine there's a bit of dreaming that occurs with this job..

[@tarynelovestheatre]

My old boss used to do #12. It’s actually really helpful to have actors help doctors practice giving diagnoses and learning how to react properly. This way, your first time trying to console a crying patient be the real thing.

[@paniclover4138]

Professional sleeper is my dream job :p

[@happypasta6]

Badoo doo

[@GeekOutSAShow]

Achieve your dreams!

[@PatrickAllenNL]

Because I can't resist saying this... I'l go milk my snake now

[@hansverdieu7770]

Professional sleeper shit specially after this finals week, I'll be so good at my job I'll basically be dead for about 18 hours

[@mharianthony179]

I do one of these! I work as a standardized patient. Great work for people who don't have time for a more consistent job or whose job is acting, so benefits from some extra income.

[@andomadsen3743]

"Help a racehorse get back on track" tee hee

[@KaeYoss]

"There's nothing stopping you from just going out there and milking your own snake" You naughty, naughty boy!

[@SmartK8]

Pub tasting as my main job and sleeping job as my secondary.

[@GrayStudios]

It's nice to know that John still cares about the uselessness of turf grass. I remember that video, and I still think about it today.

[@ManualidadesconTH]

That ice cream guy actually eats the ice cream with a wooden spoon, a gold spoon would make the ice cream taste bad.

[@Babelfroggy]

I would have thought that police training actors would have been mentioned. I had a friend who did this job while going to college at WAPA. They actually Got to play a corpse for the final testing for police academy in crime scene investigation. Other rolls were to play family members. It lead to some hysterical story's.

[@666Tomato666]

professional sleeper does sound really good... Imagine, you work while unconscious

[@Calispeedboi]

+666Tomato666 sounds like my current job

[@j-mlion3424]

Ha! Helping a race horse get back on "track". Get it? Track!

[@vicmartone]

Meredith got a free pass on that one

[@NomadUniverse]

I milk my own snake every day, I could be getting payed for this?

[@SkankHunt-ox8ot]

ive been milking my snake my whole life, sign me a fuckin check

[@the1exnay]

+3Bone,nightmare,cra$h but have you been collecting and properly storing it?

[@travischapman6763]

This is best written Mental Floss list show in quite some time! It's not to say that quality has been going down, this one was just REALLY GOOD! (I also prefer John as a host, but that's still besides the point)

[@realspacemodels]

Yacht delivery is one thing, but for a bit "higher" level delivery job try Aircraft Ferry pilot. Flying a business jet across the Atlantic or Pacific is a specialized skill and you get paid to fly with a guarantee of no-one kicking the back of your seat.

[@Stollhofen]

One summer I worked as a standardized patient for radiology students. I got to lie still for hours at a time being fake x-rayed and occasionally complained about a broken arm/wrist/shoulder. It was awesome!

[@TheAshwer]

And John still can't get over the fact that your yard is evil. He isn't wrong, though!

[@wilfredynunez5263]

Professional sleep industry here I come. ZZZZZZZZ

[@rayhutchings7]

saw alaska on a customer's book shelf today... enjoyed the movies, too... thanks for being awesome

[@mayelact8139]

"help a racehorse get back on track" I get it!!! 😂😂😂

[@tatianamatysuk2490]

I live in the epitome of suburbia & people here are obsessed with their lawns & I have never understood it.what a complete waste of time,energy,water & space & for what?monotony?there are thousands of kinds of living ground cover that are low maintenance & actually attractive or even useful.

[@courtneylovesreading4116]

Becoming a professional sleeper sounds spectacular!

[@leviwyatt09]

Professional cuddling sounds like the subject of an indie movie.

[@freyaporter99]

Now I want some facts about food science!

[@academicned6236]

the automatic subtitles have improved substantially

[@WIImotionmasher]

I like the Allstate drop down ad after the taste tester insured tongue (in video , not youtube's positioning)

[@WorkFromHomeFriday]

At last! My life-long search for a way to get paid to nap has been resolved.

[@ice788]

There's a man in Bellevue WA that gets paid to try and steal sought after items in hospitals (meds mostly) and evaluate their security's competence and look for holes in the system. He will dawn disguises, act like a sick patient, bribe staff, flat out just ask for prescriptions, break in, block cameras, loiter until noticed, prop doors open, obtain access to obscure areas (helipad, janitorial, basements, rooftops ect) And it's rumored that him (and others in the same profession) get paid VERY well.

[@Thekingofwatching]

I get how this title defies which one I want, but I would excel at the NASA Sniffer

[@NikNatProductions27]

I was a standardized patient twice as a kid and I was unreasonably excited to hear it featured in this! There was someone else whose ailment was being stabbed, and the evaluator would tap their foot as a cue for the actor to slip into various stages of (un)consciousness. so it can get pretty intense. but otherwise a pretty sweet gig

[@jenna7671]

I was hooked from number 1. Question Mr. Green: how does one become a professional water slide tester?

[@bugtussle5720]

Getting payed to pretend to be sick? Me every other week in high school.

[@Silkendrum]

+Schnig A. They pay you to stay away? (The past tense of "pay" is "paid", not "payed". Maybe you should attend more often.)

[@fourscorpio]

We've actually done #12 -- it's called Standardized Patient work and a great side job for us actors. It really helps medical students learn how to interact with patients. You can usually apply at the various medical schools.

[@fourscorpio]

+Snazzy Dan It's been a few years, we used to contact the medical schools after we learned about the jobs in an actor's guide book for Los Angeles, and they had contact info. Don't know if you'd be able to google nowadays.

[@hopegriffith90]

juicing a reptile lol, geez Louise!

[@PinkChucky15]

Hmm that professional sleeper one sounds perfect for me.

[@creativityjune3591]

Professional Tea-Tasting here I come!

[@rowenamarion]

I'm a guidance counselor. I'm going to play this video during our job exploration lessons next year.

[@MissTeeNixTalks]

This is going in my 'if/when college doesn't work out' file.

[@robbiekipping1124]

One of my patients was a mule (racing mule) named ruby. She was very grateful. Dr. K. D.C.

[@araeside6979]

JOHN. CHECK YOUR PUFF LEVELS. THEY ARE RISING.

[@LauraMauck86]

A professional sleeper, now there's a job for me lol

[@greeniemerry]

It's a toss up between professional sleeper and professional line sitter, I think I have all the skill sets to do both, but there is always the water slide critic job to fall back on if and when I need too.

[@jmanj3917]

4:44 Say what now? You can get paid for that?! I milk my snake all the time...

[@happyfacefries]

In high school, I had a teacher say, go to college because you don't want to work in a cubicle. I was like, actually I do. I still stand by my reply.

[@waxxasdf]

I am a sleep technician! it's nice to see it on here.

[@BloodyRomance1313]

I do know cheese carvers. It's really incredible what they can do.

[@Dudeonwheels]

Ok serious question here. How does one become a line sitter? I'm in a wheelchair, sitting is what I do. I had no idea I could get paid to just sit in lines for a living.

[@mikaylaa6711]

Professional sleeper!?! sounds like my dream job!

[@crazysavvyloverlee]

220 hours is roughly an online highschool course in an academic subject when you include reading time and traveling to test or exam centres or waiting for your teacher to respond to your emails.

[@tink1pro]

Professional sleeper... food psychologist... I have to mention these to my college councillor...who knows maybe someday I will do one of these jobs.

[@eustagoout]

The next big KZbin category: sleep videos!

[@fireaza]

It turns out this whole time I've been milking my snake for free as a non-professional!

[@ssppeellll]

Helping the race horses 'get back on track'??? And you didn't even look around for approval: "Huh? Huh? Anyone?" Proud of you, John.

[@kumaclimber]

Hey John, when you're selling your soul to Allstate. Try not to wince.

[@AndySaenz]

You make it sound like he's selling his soul to the devil! 😱

[@kumaclimber]

+zucchini2007 hey, gotta make a living somehow.

[@mimimarcus]

There are mystery shopper companies? I thought those are scams that fool people into filling out online surveys.

[@Laylia_]

That professional sleeper is the one for me.

[@Halfax7]

Growing up I heard stories of a Great Uncle that worked at a Dog Food factory. It was nothing for him to be walking with someone and grab a handful off the conveyor belt and dump some in his mouth. Not only was he testing the dog food for taste, but it use to have to be human consumable also.

[@Dark_Tale_2077]

Getting paid to sleep, sounds like a dream come true. Where do I sign up?

[@alexanderwatt8843]

Goats are great. they're even immune to poison ivy the bane of anyone who works in their yard.

[@mstrainjr]

Wait, so am I supposed to get Geico or Allstate? I don't know now because I often mindlessly use all the products and services that my favorite KZbinrs are paid to endorse, but now you've had two competitors on this channel. What am I supposed to do?! Please tell me, because I need to be told what to do!

[@camerongreen2587]

Go with geico it saves you money

[@mstrainjr]

Cameron ! Nah, I have State Farm and it's better than when I had Geico.

[@NicholazWoW]

Insurance is worthless go with neither! Kappa

[@uddagisko]

My uncle actually worked as a yacht deliveryman several times.

[@LibertyFirst1789]

Just milked the snake, thanks for checking Jon.

[@TheVonzilla]

I thought this was gonna give me some decent offbeat ideas, but nope, everything's a f##king joke.Theres barely one of these I could look up or want to. Thanks guys

[@reddcube]

Cheese carving and Butter carving. Damn it Midwest, we got to stop messing with dairy products.

[@lucymumma8840]

"but you also need to be good when the blindfold comes off"

[@raynahopp2242]

This is why I love living in Wisconsin.

[@JenniM1197]

milking snakes....sounds sketchy. lol

[@LaceyJuk]

Where do I apply?

[@fivemeomedia]

you forgot to mention the actors who get hammered for police DUI training you literally are required to drink on the job

[@TheHumanFlag]

The pretend sick patient was a bit in a Seinfeld episode with Kramer being the actor

[@boi-condrift5129]

Tea tester sounds like my true dream job

[@JoanneHiley]

One time, a professional yacht deliverer sat next to me on a train, and we chatted for 3 1/2 hours. He told me about various times he got caught in storms and thought he was going to die. He told me about eccentric billionaires who waste wonderful boats by never leaving the bay. And he bought me a cup of tea.

[@hank987]

Beavis...he said "milk my snake"

[@cindystrachan8566]

My dog sees the vet every month for chiropractic and acupuncture to help him with his chronic back pain. Keeps him medicine free and happy. God bless Dr. Peyton.

[@MrsShocoTaco]

I had that freeze dried ice cream as a kid & it definitely made crumbs 🥴

[@cynicalrabbit915]

Job 22 Replacing burnt out light bulbs on Radio and TV broadcast towers.

[@zeppelinmage]

I actually know a yacht delivery person. His facebook is constantly full of pictures of the Mediterranean and Caribbean seas.

[@WonkyStickman]

Wait so I've been wasting all this time being an amateur sleeper when I could go professional?! My mum always did say I could sleep for England!

[@televisionblitz]

Obviously the reason we don't grow useful plants on are lawn is that growing such a useless plant on your property is a sign of wealth and power, I am so rich I can use my land for useless grass which I can sit on.

[@taibhsear71]

When I was a kid, farmer paid $1 per tail, for gophers. Inflation is getting bad, lol.

[@psychosweetheart5977]

I could be a line sitter! Hell, if I did line sitting at comic book conventions I'd at least be able to make whatever money I spent back!

[@aaronespinoza5598]

that would be awesome to be a yacht delivery man!

[@popplio728]

invest in a comb

[@thekakuseiprodigy1433]

+Table Salt weeab

[@thekakuseiprodigy1433]

+Table Salt Koreaboo

[@thekakuseiprodigy1433]

+Table Salt chinaboo... Look I could keep going with this

[@BethAnnMayberry]

"Puff Levels" are a John Green thing.

[@DominicHill]

He was a professional dog food taster but no one would believe him. Some people thought he was a spy, but in reality he was quite boring.