3 men of different religions go to heaven

#jokes #shorts
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[@crellercorps]

As an agnostic, I love how the guy can still be agnostic while literally being presented with evidence of heaven/divine powers of creation beyond our understanding XD

[@rand0mly]

Agnostic means you believe there's a higher power. Atheist means you don't believe in God or gods. You either believe science or you don't but being agnostic doesn't mean you don't believe there is higher power, so technically the agnostic isn't being given proof of divinity, but more so proof of which God exists. As an agnostic, I'm slightly confused 😂 But I may be reacting poorly to a social cue I missed so...

[@oteragard8077]

​@@rand0mly Agnostic means you don't commit to belief 🙄

[@rand0mly]

@@oteragard8077 that's what I'm saying, you don't commit to believing one god because you believe there is a higher power but you don't know which one. Chill out. Don't need to eye roll at me.

[@oteragard8077]

@@rand0mly or you don't believe in a higher power at all 🤷

[@rand0mly]

@@oteragard8077 that's Atheist, which I explained. There are more than one type of atheist not just ones who believe science is the key to everything. There's also people who just don't really care enough. There are atheists who don't believe in science or higher powers. But I do see where you're coming from. Everyone's opinions on things are going to different. It's life

[@darkknight5541]

I remember a similar joke, but its in hell. So, a man dies and goes to hell. A demon shows him around, and to his surprise its actually a very nice place. But at the end of the tour, he sees people being burned in the lake of fire. "What's this?" he asks. "Oh, don't worry about that," the demon said. "We only put it there because people insisted on it."

[@greg-qc4iy]

The version of this I know is that Peter shows a bloke round heaven, all the sights till they reach a wall at the end, the bloke asks loudly "so what's behind this wall!" Peter glares at him and hisses 'thats for the church of England, they think there the only ones up here'

[@Reverted2006]

Near Death Experiences suggest just one quiet place for all Faiths 😊

[@danielhopkins2277]

Would be the jewish in room 6... you know "chosen people"?

[@prestonjones1653]

No, because we don't have a concept of afterlife.

[@danielhopkins2277]

@@prestonjones1653 It seems that most Jews did not get your message, apart from the fact that it is false. At most, you are right if you define "afterlife" very narrowly and suddenly throw out all possibilities (except the Christian variant) that otherwise belong to the broad category of "afterlife" and no longer call them that. But in Judaism there is life after death and also a paradise. This is one of the reasons why enough Jews like to simply adopt the Christian variant in their believe.

[@olmostgudinaf8100]

"Chosen" does not necessarily mean "going to heaven". If you ask any Jew, most of them will tell you that "chosen" means "treated especially harshly".

[@Camreeyan]

Nah bro it's actually the baptists

[@GAND-OZZ]

It’s because the Bible literally says the only way to heaven is through Jesus.

[@olmostgudinaf8100]

It's literally *every* monotheistic religion.

[@AG-vb6vv]

@@olmostgudinaf8100 Well, no. Hinduism despite appearances, is monotheistic. And in Hindu Dharma, heaven is for all and depends on karma (good deeds) and dharma (honourable way of living/doing your duty eg being a warrior, or duty as a father, as a student, as a scholar, etc). Belief is immaterial. It’s actions and character that matters, not belief. Same in all religions that come from Hindu Dharma - Jainism, Buddhism and Sikhism. So, the ideal of hell for disbelievers is a very Arbrahmic (Jewish, Christian and Muslim) idea. It’s foreign for Eastern religions which are also monotheistic, but in a different way.

[@HillHyker]

Brilliant. But I don't think they need to worry about being quite as they pass by room no 6. There would be so much noise in there, they wouldn't hear an explosion at the door.

[@trunkstrafficschool7514]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 my boss calls muslims Tika bombers

[@The_StorytellerYT]

“Turdy seven” 💀💀

[@michaelbrannon1218]

Amen

[@chickenplayz01]

As a catholic, we think other religions are in heaven and belong there

[@LaLixyRose]

there* point invalid

[@chickenplayz01]

@@LaLixyRose grammar police 👮‍♀️ 💀

[@blueback999]

@chickenplayz01 “we” is very strong, you may, but there are very many who don’t

[@chickenplayz01]

@@blueback999 yea and we think they should follow God better

[@Mrbread_loaf]

Ok now I know that more people with different religions are in heaven now than Christian and catholics

[@omidalekasir4736]

"turd man" is indeed what I hear

[@katieedwards5926]

This is perfectttt.

[@fraimsantiago487]

well here in the philippines its the INC, that thinks they are the onlu one that can be save

[@claucmgpcstuf5103]

Hehehe . Space tha final frontier... If it wede be so easy.

[@Literallymewing]

Nah, room 6 is where the Jehovah's witnesses are

[@zacharytaylor190]

Who's down for a party in room 37?

[@rand0mly]

For people who don't seem to know what agnostic means, it means you believe in a higher power but you don't quite know which ones because there are so many or you just don't want to use effort to specify. If you're Atheist, you either don't believe in God or only believe in science or have found a between for those two. Agnostic doesn't mean you don't believe in a god. As an agnostic, I can confirm I am indecisive and don't know which religion I would follow

[@Oliveonanoaktree]

what is agnostic?

[@lizh1988]

It literally means not knowing. An agnostic doesn't know if there is a God or not, and if there is one true scripture or not.

[@timo4463]

A very weird postion Normal WE say Atheist today to people WHO dont know If there is a god Now ITS a i think a god exists but they dont give a f about IT

[@HalalUser_1602]

someone who is not sure whether god exists or not

[@fanboyfast6073]

Wouldn’t the first man say Islam, because he is Muslim, but his religion is Islam, or is that not how it works?

[@fireworks1972]

That’s a good one

[@blankthought9393]

As a catholic, I just want to disclaim. We don’t really think this.

[@danielhopkins2277]

Right, it's more a old jewish thing... you know "chosen people"...

[@prestonjones1653]

​@@danielhopkins2277 You do realize we don't even have a concept of an afterlife, right?

[@Excel-erate-]

Correction, you don't think like this. 90% of Christianity does.

[@danielhopkins2277]

@@prestonjones1653 It seems that most Jews did not get your message, apart from the fact that it is false. At most, you are right if you define "afterlife" very narrowly and suddenly throw out all possibilities (except the Christian variant) that otherwise belong to the broad category of "afterlife" and no longer call them that. But in Judaism there is life after death and also a paradise. This is one of the reasons why enough Jews like to simply adopt the Christian variant in their believe.

[@einkartoffel4323]

Heresy. The Catholic Church teaches that everyone in Heaven is Catholic

[@alanjagroop1282]

As a catholic. We dont think like this. If anything. Christians is the ones who think more like this. Catholics would love others. Not a day go by that I dont wish to have my muslims/hindus brothers and sisters with me to heaven. Catholics dont judge others as much as christian. In a catholic church. For diwali/muslims. The catholic celebrates those religion in their churches. Talk nice things about them. Just because its not your religion. Doesnt mean u have to judge others. Catholics are alot better with others. If all religions can come to heaven. Catholics will be overfill with joy and happiness.

[@broihavenoname911]

i think the joke is like this because in the bible it says the only way to go to heaven is to believe in Jesus

[@mythicalgaming111]

Lol for real

[@sofiabosco7892]

🤣🤣🤣

[@christhayil8354]

No one in America under age 40 would even get a religious joke anymore

[@SoCalWhiteBoi]

I beg to differ, I'm 25 and got it, but in a way I still do agree with you.

[@nikpucko7111]

Who says were all american? I'm European.

[@SuprSBG]

False

[@edwardgaines6561]

Blame the single mothers for ruining America for 60 years.

[@toastpeople395]

America refers to the continent, many Mexicans are catholic If you are talking about only the united states however...

[@RobeonMew]

shots fired

[@azukaokumbor]

Christian s has left 5he building

[@salvia1264]

How do you comunicate so much beauty? It's Incredible. I just look at it and it brings me to tears. Because I'm looking at it and I'm looking at myself. Yeah you've never really seen heaven until you've seen it on 5meo DMT. Until you recognize that it's you and that's basically what Infinity is. Sort of like I love you, no I love you, no I love you, no I love you, no I love you more, I love you more, I love you more. Who can love who more? And whoever can love who more is God. You see that long laundry list of stuff about you that you don't love. God loves all of it. I'm sorry for not loving more, that's the only thing you have to be sorry about. Thank you. Thank You For Love! And at this point you realize that that's it, that's the point. That's the only lesson in life. That's my only job. Is to love. Everything else is idiocy and then what you do is you say I love you. For the first time in your life you say I love you because you really understand what that phrase means and you fall in love with God. But as it throws it out there, it's gentle so he throws it out there but then you say oh I can't love it and then what God will say in return is, it's okay. I love that you are not capable of love. I love that. And when that hits you. That's what fills you with enough love to overcome your resistance to love even that next level thing that you could do. No it can't be love. Of course it's love! what else could it be! It's love! No oh my God this is impossible! Of course it's love how could it be anything else!? How could I be so stupid as to think it's anything else. And God is like of course it's love.

[@raefordmoore9482]

What if u aren’t religious

[@jeffriazzezz1566]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.... best ever 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@FoeHammerTime]

I mean, Muslims and Orthodox Jews would all think the same thing also, wouldn't they?

[@Cortz032]

No

[@bostash8442]

no, in Islam Christianity and Judaism are actual religions that were before Islam, God didn't make heaven for Muslims only. yeesh man

[@einkartoffel4323]

Well, as a Catholic, I can state with certainty that everyone in Heaven is Catholic

[@Miracle12348]

Fun fact: Jesus was Jewish😮 so guess what??? 🎉Your religion is a lie.😂 Your a pure copycat of the Jews and your technically Jewish. 😮Hm, I guess what you said is not not true😮 oh well😅 have a nice day😊

[@jollibees]

What about other denominations like Protestant or Orthodox? Are they all going to hell even though they accepted Christ as their savior? I don’t think so. I don’t remember where in the Bible it said “only Catholics will go to heaven.” So please explain

[@timo4463]

Funfact heaven isnt real

[@Miracle12348]

@@timo4463 fun fact: you just lied

[@ICantThinkOfANameeeee]

​@@Miracle12348fun fact: you just lied

[@anthonycannet1305]

So what do the Catholics think the first 5 rooms are for?

[@olmostgudinaf8100]

Broom cupboards.

[@anthonycannet1305]

@@olmostgudinaf8100 that’s a lot of brooms, I thought they condemn witchcraft…

[@wyn9693]

​@@anthonycannet1305 what madman would let any of the brooms be in the same eternal resting place as the witches that's asking for chaos

[@dhans9662]

Staff lounge probably

[@timferguson6192]

What's in rooms 1-5?

[@timo4463]

Children below the age of 10

[@Channelnameneeded]

Not very good theology but still, good job on this one 👏🏾

[@thefirephoenix872]

Hi

[@Philjokes33]

Hello

[@Explorer_77728]

😂😂😂😂😢😢😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭i am catholic

[@ninja11120]

Im kinda religious❤

[@gaudia3985]

LOL

[@ForeverFieldArtillery.224]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Selene_the_Wolf]

But what a baut no riltces

[@kittisakchooklin874]

Are you sure about the Jewish? Did you actually ask them about this phenomena and would they admit it outright by calling it out, please? I pray thee!

[@afsarahmed3580]

(Matthew 4:1) Jesus was tempted (James 1:13) God cannot be tempted (John 1:29) Jesus was seen (1 John 4:12) No man has ever seen God (Acts 2:22) Jesus was and is man, sent by God (Numbers 23:19, Hosea 11:9) God is not a man (Hebrews 5:8-9) Jesus had to grow and Learn (Isaiah 40:28) God doesn't ever need to learn (1 Corinthians 15: 3-4) Jesus Died (1 Timothy 1:17) God cannot die (Hebrews 5:7) Jesus needed salvation (Luke 1:37) God doesn't need salvation (John 4:6) Jesus grew weary (Isaiah 40:28) God cannot grow weary (Mark 4:38) Jesus slept (Psalm 121: 2-4) God doesn't sleep (John 5:19) Jesus wasn't all powerful (Isaiah 45: 5-7) God is all powerful (Mark 13:32) Jesus wasn't all knowing (Isaiah 46:9) God is all knowing

[@dhans9662]

Yo its like the bible contradicts itself

[@TB.167]

Isn't the Jewish religion about how God would save the Jews as they are the chosen people

[@NowSpaced]

😂 Thats awesome when Catholic mean Universal Church and is meant to be the summation of all Faiths, so like hollywood and the news this is comedically misleading in the exact opposite 😅

[@Keepthemcheeksthight]

No only the people who accept jesus as savior will be save so lying is a sin in bible

[@timo4463]

You are doing IT rn

[@matemate-kp2wd]

Saint peter was the first pope of the catholic church, so this joke doesnt make much sense

[@beloveddaughtersofchrist]

Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Him. John 14:6

[@Pokesus]

This has no sense. Catholics believe everyone (even the ones who don't believe in god) will go to heaven if they do not have too many sins and if they did nice things to other people.

[@brute1604]

As a gay person, you are incorrect. I've grown up being told i'd go to hell and for what?? Something I didn't choose?

[@timo4463]

​@@brute1604 to BE exact god choose IT for you that means He Made you for suffering in hell I know really fucked Up thinking about IT

[@edwardgaines6561]

@@brute1604 If Priests and Nuns can abstain from sex, then so can you. You simply *CHOOSE* not to.

[@dhans9662]

@@edwardgaines6561 You can be a gay virgin too?

[@lorcanbailey1699]

Firsr

[@anythingelse99]

Be smart. Be an atheist

[@HalalUser_1602]

Be smart. Be A Muslim

[@ICantThinkOfANameeeee]

Yes

[@dhans9662]

@@HalalUser_1602 Muslims think the earth is flat lmao

[@HalalUser_1602]

@@dhans9662 proof?

[@dhans9662]

@@HalalUser_1602 Apart from anecdotes where ive seen Muslims say the earth is flat because the Quran said so, I've learned the Quran has verses like Surah Ta-ha 53 that implies the earth is flat. Some Muslims choose to interpret "made the earth for you as a bed [spread out]" as a figure of speech of some sort and others take it literally and assume it means the earth is flat.

[@bendy251]

Hi