3 Mistakes Screenwriters Make With Loglines - Naomi Beaty

[@amaree9732]

Karen Hall (screenwriter for Mash, The Glades, The Good Wife) scolded me once. "You only have time to pitch three things: who's it about, what are they trying to do and how does it end?" The log line must be even more concise. One sentence is great! The purpose of a logline is to get people to listen to your pitch and hopefully consent to read your screenplay. And if it doesn't, you go no further!

[@arzabael]

Great comment. That is what I call painting by numbers in a good way

[@Yaki-mdz]

Thanks for this content! I live in México, i'am 23 years old and i work so hard to be a screenwriter.

[@filmcourage]

Hi Andrés, looks like you are on your way! Keep writing!

[@theprimalpitch190]

Great advice: Start with 4 elements of protagonist, story goal, opposition, and stakes.

[@jasonkh4]

Inciting incident

[@chrispoyntonoz]

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[@chrispoyntonoz]

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[@chrispoyntonoz]

@@jasonkh4 l

[@chrispoyntonoz]

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[@thestray]

I recommend listening to Pilar Allesandra's podcast "On The Page" she does an annual logline contest and it's really interesting and informative to hear her react and analyze a bunch of loglines.

[@filmcourage]

Pilar is awesome. We had the pleasure of speaking with her awhile back. Here is the full interview: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZnXGXnmGobSmpJI

[@danbee998]

3:50 --- A logline is a marketing tool to get interest in your project. CRITICAL to learn how to write these concisely, effectively, and with some element to draw the reader in (to want to read your script); i.e. some element of danger/suspense/risk/surprise/stakes. I've learned to write these pretty well, but I think business writing classes in college helped me with this task.

[@pamelahill196]

Thanks for sharing Naomi! Take care.

[@jamesrogers9056]

Great overview. Very interesting and seems helpful for marketing in business

[@hello2jello4mellow34]

"A high school chemistry teacher diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer turns to manufacturing and selling methamphetamine in order to secure his family's future."

[@htruh15]

Gilmore Girls?

[@immaculateorganicsoaps3533]

@@htruh15 😂😂😂😂

[@jesusmunozgarza5565]

"Little Women"?

[@준의환상]

Breaking Bad?

[@ajtaylor8750]

The trouble I still have with loglines is finding a way to give the main gist of the film without ut being more than one sentence. I always find myself writing two sentences, and have to condense it down to that one sentence, but as of late I've gotten much better.

[@charlesku4308]

the key is irony, " A burned-out detective joins a garage band and rediscovers his love for life only to discover the drummer is a serial killer." Irony is a good hook that gives you the whole story without revealing your twists and turns and character details.

[@thumper8684]

I think it must be natural. I had "Barbarian gains throne. Barbarian loses head." Two sentences. Do you really need to omit punctuation just to fit the format?

[@samwallaceart288]

Charles Ku - I really wanna watch that movie

[@shadeburst]

@@thumper8684 For Sale: Baby shoes, never used is the ultimate story in six words. "Barbarian loses head" could be expanded to impart mystery, tragedy etc. I'm not criticising because I love few words that say much, but "loses head" has another idiomatic meaning that takes away some of the punch.

[@thumper8684]

@@shadeburst I love criticism. The current version of the logline is "It is the year of the six emerors. There are six people who are proclaimed emperor. Good news: one of them gets to live." I am enjoying the meandering redundancy of the middle sentence. Closer to my original intention is "The senate finally stand up to the barbarous usurper Maximinus Thrax. He thinks they are all girly men."

[@EasyZee69]

For me, writing log lines is the worse part of the creative process, coming up with an idea, fleshing it out, writing a script, creating characters, and in my case, since I work in animation, drawing and story boarding is the stuff I love to do. Writing Log Lines, no so much. Furthermore, are log lines always necessary? I worked on a show about 15 years ago called "My Goldfish Is Evil", with a name like that why would you need a log line? The title of the show IS the log line. There was another cartoon on tv called "My Gym Partner's A Monkey", again, the title tells me all I need to know. If your movie title is vague, like 'Interstellar' or 'Love Actually', then you need a log line because the title doesn't tell me enough. But movies like "The Incredible Shrinking Man' or 'Attack of the 50 Foot Woman' or 'Batman vs Superman' or 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' shouldn't need a log line.

[@gopro_audio]

This is one of the best breakdowns I have had explained. Thanks again. #filmcouragematters

[@miracleisaiah2444]

Thank you Naomi, does the antagonist necessary have to be a physical figure in a screenplay or can other things like emotions, lacking an ability (like a wife/mother slacking in responsibilities in the family and be totally ignorant of it) . my question is can something else serve as an antagonist other than a physical (a human, cyborg or alien).

[@filmcourage]

What trouble do you have with loglines and how did this help?

[@192northtosouth6]

Can a story not have a physical antagonist, instead, can an ideology/principles and circumstances be the antagonists?

[@MiguelCruz-oz7km]

She says "opposition" which implies it's an either or scenario. There has to be something opposing the hero's goal because that creates tension as it casts doubt on their ability to achieve the goal thus triggering the stakes. So the opposition can be a person but it doesn't have to be. It can be the hero's own weakness that creates the opposing force.

[@192northtosouth6]

@@MiguelCruz-oz7km Thanks!

[@Brindlebrother]

xD look up the video Minority Report When the Story World becomes the Villain xD

[@192northtosouth6]

@@Brindlebrother Great, thanks!

[@demetriusdion286]

Society or Environment can be Antagonist an as well.

[@not_enoughmana]

Can a protagonist's antagonist be themselves sometimes?

[@DAMON409]

Log lines don't have setups or act 2. It's a simple description of the protagonist and goal vs antagonist .

[@mskimlouise]

I'm writing a Forest Gump-type story. Did Forest Gump have an antagonist? Maybe Jenny was the goal and the antagonist. So far, I haven't come up with an antagonist for my story.

[@filmcourage]

Good question. Lt. Dan probably would not be the answer? Maybe his antagonist was his life situation and trying to escape it? Being bullied, having people doubt him because they viewed him as inferior, growing up amid modest means and not being able to help Jenny when they were younger? Not sure. But that's a great question. One of my favorite movies. Appreciate the comment Kim! Thank you. Anyone else have thoughts on this?

[@mskimlouise]

@@filmcourage Thanks for the response. Great things to think about.

[@evanward3964]

His antagonist was for sure society labeling him as slow. In his childhood...he was also physically slow due to his leg braces... but fixed that issue by running! One thing running can’t fix... an IQ of 75. The prostitutes making fun of his intelligence on NYE and how he puts his head down in shame after is one example! This man can play football at Alabama, save lives in Vietnam while taking bullets in the butt... but can’t take the opinion of a cheap hooker! That’s saying something! Even a drunk and down on his luck LT. Dan felt the need to stand up for him.... he hated Forrest at the time! Some of his most memorable lines to Jenny are” I may be stupid but I know what love is”... he feels that Jenny never took him seriously because he wasn’t smart. The line “ Is he smart... or is he” when meeting his son for the first time is the icing on the cake. He never even cared if the kid was biologically his... could Forrest even process that possibility? The Bottom line... Forrest is simple minded ! But the simple quote he lives by “ Life is like a box of chocolates.” is genius!

[@joshuathered1100]

Circumstances were the antagonist.

[@RWhettstone]

I have NEVER seen a TV Bible or Script online with a logline.

[@falconawesomeness1141]

I have a problem being concise. Growing up I was a Jehovah’s Witness and 4 days a week I heard “talks” which were speeches or lectures. Then in school there were more lectures. And at home no one really knew how to express themselves directly so I had a very... narrow view in how communication happens. But now I’m learning not to be long winded and simplify my thoughts into detailed and brief statements. Obviously not right now. Haha 😆. Thanks for uploading.

[@demetriusdion286]

I highly recommend, "Finding the Core of Your Story [The quick and easy guide to writing a great logline]" by Jordan Smith.

[@bazmurphy7792]

Two Single people from totally different backgrounds meet up under strange circumstances and fall in love. - Does this need more information.

[@lucapennazzi]

It does, I’ll explain later.

[@perrap79]

Feels like ive seen that one before. I need more specifics.

[@kevinreily2529]

You only have 25 words, you don't have time to talk about the second act and what happens at the end. You give them an idea of what the story is about.