3 Red Flags He's An Emotionally Immature Man | Dating Advice by Mat Boggs

[@matboggs]

Join the MANifest Your Man Program here: www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/mym/offer/strategy-session?div=lr&KZbin&Social&MYM_EVG&CNT_video

[@airzicash2518]

Hey I need your advice I tryd to get it from someone else but I have to bay it's very important to me can I DM you and ask you some questions for free please 🥺oh and good work

[@Kirby_hayes]

When you go to them with a concern or worry and they take it as an attack, they don’t create a safe space for you to express yourself

[@mc_meditação_cristã]

This is SO true! You feel guilty at the end of the day.

[@heartandhustle-l8k]

Yep I was dating a guy three months and it was exactly that. I immediately addressed poor communication. In two weeks everything spiraled quickly. Three separate times he got upset and would say this exact thing - “you don’t have to worry about me anymore!” Then storm out/hang up call. The first two times he’s calm down after 20 mins and apologize admitting he acted like a child. The third time it was right after I said “you’re being sarcastic to me right now as I’m trying to talk about poor communication.” He said “well someone has to bring humor to the situation!” Then he grabs all his stuff and storms out saying “you don’t have to worry about me anymore!” 48 hours later I get the long apology text about how he had self improvement to work on and sorry for his impulsiveness - that he acted out of character and now had to live with it. Yep, Buddy you sure do! Three strikes you’re out. I think he’s played this act out many times before dating me and someone tolerated that behavior from him. I don’t think he’ll be successful working on this alone without therapy.

[@Chosenone11117]

This is what I’ve been dealing with but I’m about to throw in the towel

[@GL-le6bh]

Yep, you try to talk to them about anything contentious and they flip the script on you and don't give your feelings any consideration. They claim they didn't do anything wrong and you're just misconstruing the situation. I had a relationship with a man like this and ultimately just walked since I didn't feel safe speaking my truth.

[@yvesgysel9834]

An emotional stable Guy will never yell. The best way is to notice how he treats other persons. The bartender, waitress... If he's acting disrespectful or making other people feel less. Big red flag. He will speak his mind and if he does not agree, he will tell, but always in a calm respectful matter. Guys are wired totally different then women. If we are having a problem, we get in a solving mode and we need time for ourselves to fix the problem. Advice for women: Give him the space and time. Just say, if you want to talk about it, let me know and let him be. 100% sure, when he solved the problem, you (as his partner) will be the 1st he talks about. Moreover he will love you more for this.

[@dianegates3162]

When a man is emotionally unavailable, you try to talk to him about how you feel and what is bothering you in a calm respectful way and he quickly changes the subject.

[@barbarat6341]

Yess! This happened to me every time!

[@AnayahPMcKay]

emotionally unavailable is not also emotionally immature

[@Inanothertimeandspace]

Or he turns things around on you, or acts like you’re being too emotional (even when you calmly explained what you’re feeling)

[@juliagrant3339]

or turns the table around and says you're making him feel inadequate because you're trying to tell him how you feel. It's a vicious cycle.

[@ValentineSmith-zn6hw]

@@AnayahPMcKay Exactly 💯

[@dsoul1305]

1. Victim mentality - blames others for everything that happens to them 2. Can't process bad events. - lets outside events control their mood for hours/days. 3. Will punish you instead of communicating their feelings - will not talk and be cold, or will attack you.

[@pinkithecat9101]

😂😂😂 i am 3/3

[@deljean]

Yep

[@valeriebarnett7956]

It's never too late to learn thank you for the explanation and to grow up wiser.

[@jd6331]

​@@pinkithecat9101 try therapy, it could help 🤍

[@RndmMcRndmnss]

1. How do they respond when something goes wrong? Should own their part. 3. Stonewalls or tries to take away from happiness or retaliate.

[@maggiemaggie2685]

When a man lies and tricks you in order to protect himself he is treating you like his mother. This is immature. When you call him out on his dishonesty, he invalidates you and tries to make you feel like you are the crazy one. This is like gas lighting. This is emotional immaturity turned to abuse.

[@mandyg5747]

Yes its called Narcissistic abuse . Narcissists can never make anyone happy...you or themselves. All others can do is RUN!

[@NasimGzadeh]

@@mandyg5747 I ran. I saw all these signs and broke up with him.

[@jaz779]

I’m still reeling from the pain of the split although he is the one who called it off for me to look back objectively but all my friends are telling me he is a narcissist I hope to process the pain and begin healing asap

[@hemeranyx4441]

Big YES

[@queenofthebutterflies5212]

Narcissism - run run like the gingerbread man!!!!!!!!!! Run for your life really !!!!

[@joycelim6366]

1. He's never at fault, it is always someone/something to blame for. He doesn't take responsibility for what he does. 2. He doesn't like deep conversations. 3. He can sulk the whole day for the slightest thing that happens. 4. It is always about right and wrong, not looking for a solution together to solve the problem. 5. When you call him out for his doings, he gives you the cold treatment and punishes you for calling him out.

[@TheDeliciouslyDi]

This my husband

[@NovaFiftyfive]

OMG! This is my husband to a "t". My soon-to-be ex-husband.

[@sylvieb5498]

A man who tries to make me jealous and hurt me and can’t communicate his feelings and be vulnerable is a total turn off for me.

[@kt45026]

Same!

[@dianaf6333]

Last month I was walking along the ocean boulevard and it was very busy. I saw this guy see a kitten that was alone, stuck in the crosswalk. It was obviously stray and he stopped all the foot traffic, picked the scared kitten up, soothed it after seeing there wasn't an owner anywhere, git on his phone to call a vet. Now, that's a man

[@nataliep501]

Yes!

[@C.C.369]

Oh yes, those moments that restore the belief in the male sex for a second 💘💘💘

[@Bianca-sw5id]

True 🙂♥️

[@rrb2895]

I've met men very pleasant to animals. But in the other hand, it did not ooze over into his treatment of people. Don't be fooled.

[@Bianca-sw5id]

@@rrb2895 that is true sometimes 😉

[@nataliasolakian7928]

Emotionally immature men hurt women not only through their harsh actions and behaviors but words as well. Words either grow an individual or crush and stunt them. We need to build relationships by speaking LIFE over one another and behaving respectfully towards eachother.

[@sissy3220]

I almost married a man who sometimes wouldn’t talk to me for days… I was supposed to figure out why he was upset without him telling me what I did wrong 😠 what a baby. so glad I left an emotionally immature man. we would have not had a happy marriage

[@vp5134]

You did the right thing! Stonewalling is so painful

[@jilllowers7127]

Did he happen to be a Scorpio?

[@skibunny2257]

Narcissistic behavior. My ex did this and he is a covert narcissist. Covert meaning covered or hidden. Also known as vulnerable narcissist. It's definitely a trait of narcissism. You dodged a bullet.

[@iamlioness5]

I did marry & divorce one like that! He never did it during dating for 2 years, but once we were married his true colors came out. He’d stonewall for weeks at a time. Thankful to be away from that BS.

[@Meow33109]

Lord

[@mangetout7846]

Currently, a week in of silent treatment for asking a question. He did this three times during our first year together, I told him it was unacceptable behaviour and if he ever did it again that would be the end. Two blissful years silent treatment free, then last week he pulls it again. Gone through the heartache again, but have to follow through. I've met his silence with silence. I'm moving on. Such a waste of something I thought was good.

[@danire8156]

Mines said one time don't talk to me for 30 days it lasted 7 😢just know I feel your pain I'm getting the strength to leave

[@klm7858]

Stick to your decision, girl.....he'll never change, in fact it will only get worse because he's found it gets him through situations he refuses to deal with as a mature man. RUN!!!! And DON'T let him con you into going back!!!!!!

[@andylee7862]

Congratulations to you. Just move on and let that adult immature toddler live his misery life by himself

[@lauraswanson6161]

He's a narcissist that's abuse, run and don't look back

[@doglover5519]

He hasn't talked to me for ten days. I told him the last time he didn't talk to me for three weeks. I don't know if he has figured out I'm Done!!!

[@IamEvelynEvette]

When you attempt to communicate your concern, boundaries and expectations. They just roll their eyes.

[@rsar28]

Bang on

[@Thebeautifulone77033]

Yep! Mine literally starts acting like a child - cover his face w/ a blanket, close his ears & etc.. such a turn off. So then I start talking in my baby voice bc he’s acting like that’s his language.

[@arianna6682]

At this point I’m just giving all my love and energy to my dog. He is worthy of my time and attention

[@et1016]

Amen to that!

[@GodsGirl850]

AMEN ❣️

[@sfc5774]

Ditto….but with my cat

[@cherylmart6338]

People are a product of their environment. I grew up with a lot of LOVE in my life. I see the difference in behaviour of people who weren't so fortunate.

[@oceangirl2661]

I would add a fourth to your list. A man who is emotionally immature will always try to get his way through coercion, bullying, manipulation, intimidation.

[@ThobileMacaws]

... And abandonment.

[@maryw3989]

And don't forget game's they play.

[@louiseclancy6781]

I was married to a man who had tantrums over the smallest things. He once screamed at me for not serving him up enough potatoes. The relationship became all about meeting his needs and nothing about me. Exhausting.

[@kristenking1007]

I had one that raised his voice during a calm discussion. And then yelled at me and said “see you’re making me yell. “ If I ever told him to stop doing something over text. He would say “ I don’t want to get yelled at again” What he meant to say was “ (you saying no to me implied to him I was yelling) Weirdest shit ever I said how do you yell over text? Boggled my mind Very similar always wanted his needs met but didn’t want to meet mine. And only on his terms. Most selfish man I’ve ever met in my life, and I dated a narc. He wasn’t even this bad. The immaturity of some people. Just go to therapy and work on yourself. It’s really not that hard! 😳

[@ninetysgirl]

Same😢

[@akinazara]

Yes something I'm experiencing it's all about him and not ny needs - mines aren't getting met

[@knowbodiesfull5768]

Not serving him enough potatoes? Ridiculous!

[@HowardR999]

That sounds abusive... If he gets really mad instead of saying how it affects his self image and triggers him. Unless of course you just don't notice him being around or something like that ​@@knowbodiesfull5768

[@nataliebrook5930]

I notice when a man is emotionally immature he will discard in-depth conversations and say a women is being a nag if we have standards. And he is unable to initiate any conversation beyond a level 1. And unable to be consistently stable in any aspect for that matter.

[@JamesWoodson071]

The 22 year old man baby neighbor I have actually started humming like a 2-year-old playing in a sandbox while trying to talk to him about important neighbor issues like his wild 175lb. dog knocking me down. As a MAN, I wanted to knock HIM down for being so disrespectful.

[@barbarat6341]

I left my last boyfriend because I rarely felt refreshed and closer to him when we talked. I felt like he was intentionally trying to find ways to disagree with me. Whenever we got into an argument, he would get so cold and defensive, and no matter how hard I tried he would not budge to explain his feelings and instead invalidated mine. He made me feel like I was always in the wrong, and it made me feel anxious just expressing and being myself with him. It was really hard to connect with him emotionally.

[@reginag.a.4187]

Good thing you left him! you bring up good points.

[@ana-maria448]

Same. Left me scarred and the men I met after him, were not better.

[@tiffanywarren1605]

A man who overreacts to something you say and shuts down the conversation by walking away or getting off the phone abruptly. The reaction is unwarranted.

[@natnel617]

That's what I'm dealing with right now. Stonewalled yet again over the same topic in a matter of weeks by simply saying "I disagree". First time he got angry and said "forget this conversation..." second time we was on the phone and he said "look I'm going to go bed now..." I just put the phone down and didn't even say goodnight. Its hurtful when someone won't allow you to say how you feel or you feel like you have to be careful with what you say just in case it triggers said responses. 😢 Why can't we just talk things through? Why must it end with someone being upset all the time? It's making me question alot of things. And the saying "when someone shows you who they are, believe it.." keeps coming up in my mind. Nearly 4 years together and I don't want to throw that away. But neither do I want a life of not being able to voice my opinion when it comes to our relationship. 😢

[@klm7858]

I sure hope you RAN??!!! I wasted 5 years in this same kind of man until I realized I never came away feeling good or treasured or built up----it was always him wanting me to make *him* feel great but had very little positive to say about me. When he yelled at me for feeling down because a close family friend died was when I realized how immature and selfish he was and cut him out of my life completely. It hurt like nothing I've ever gone through but I know I'm better off----like cutting out gangrene.....painful but necessary for my life.

[@vp5134]

I've seen all 3 but many more. Unable to own up his mistakes. Unable to say sorry. Unable to forgive others. Revengeful. Unable to handle conversations about conflicting views.

[@rochelledawson1044]

Bringing up the past when you think is has been resolved. Insulting you and name shaming you. Telling you that your positivity is exaggerated

[@maritzacalle5907]

When a man is afraid of confrontation, so he doesn’t communicate properly, and when he let’s his family dictate his life. Bigs signs

[@Justgirliethings6]

This !!!!!

[@kiarajay4504]

💯

[@MsGaella]

The woman who texted a man to confirm a date for the next day and heard nothing from him then or for entire previous week was NOT at fault in any way. The man dropped the ball, spewed anger on her and I’m glad she dropped him.

[@Carlywind]

I dated my emotionally immature ex for a year and a half. I think I only stuck around so long because he was my best friend before we ever dated, I loved him deeply and genuinely and I stayed even though I deserved better. I thought I could help him, I certainly tried. After an argument one night, he ended up blaming me and leaving me without ever discussing it. It’s been 3 months and we’re basically strangers now. I love him so much and I’m hurt that in his mind, things are my fault, when all I ever did was try to communicate. I was definitely somewhat at fault in the argument that was never discussed.. but I feel that it was a buildup of anger and hurt on my side after so much time being shut down, unheard, stonewalled etc. I wish he could see he threw away the relationship with his best friend and an amazing committed girl.. just because he couldn’t handle conflict or his emotions.

[@bobodudu123]

Same happened to me. Exact story.. did he ever contacted you back?

[@tracymellorrealtor7659]

Oh how I wish I had watched your channel years ago I stupidly married a man emotionally immature in 2014 but it’s at the end… we are separated now and my peace has returned but the 3 things you described are exactly him… I just didn’t realise before… I can see it now I’m on the outside but when I was in I was blinded by love :-( sadly but Ty for these very informative videos they are very helpful 😊

[@raularmas317]

From the fault in our stars: We don't get to choose if we get hurt in this life and/or suffer pain but we do have a say in who hurts us or continues to hurt us-- if we allow it.

[@abbyc.4215]

I'm only two videos in and I must say that you are incredibly gifted in your craft. This is the channel and content that I didn't even know that I needed, and I have since created a playlist that I named "Marriage Goals." Your channel has been a huge blessing to me and I thank you for all that you do!

[@queenofthebutterflies5212]

I love it! Me too. I wanna get married too 🥰 I wish you all the luck in the world, darling xx

[@staceym4469]

Saying no or creating some sort of boundary will tell you quite a bit about a person . Also someone who is always defensive.

[@barbarakelly1916]

Good point!

[@mc_meditação_cristã]

Absolutely!

[@martine3884]

Happened to me: almost 2 weeks after setting a date and not getting any response to texts from me, I didn’t show. He attacked me by text, calling me irresponsible, a horrible person etc. when I mentioned he’d never replied or confirmed, he lectured me on his making a decision and always sticking to it. How the f… am I supposed to know that? I’ve never met the guy. Blocked him. Then ate chocolate to recover

[@klm7858]

Ha ha ha!!❤ LOVE the chocolate reaction!! I even cut my hair off after a breakup with a guy like that.... stupidest thing I could have done--- took a couple years to grow it out again!*🙄

[@tracieriley301]

Smart smart smart you saved yourself so much heartache because he would have been exactly this way about everything ❤

[@phoenixmode6909]

I've found chocolate helps, and anyway, chocolate never broke my heart.

[@ienekeledent6947]

When he does not respect your bounderies

[@catherineeco4513]

Great video, Mat, just add there that immature men are also narcissistic and egoistic. They are not flexible enough and want everything done their way. They talk and talk about themselves, all their exes and how they were badly treated in past relationships and don't really care about you. They just want someone to tell them that they are awesome.

[@OceanLove]

When someone baits you or verbally attacks you in order to attempt a fight because they have a need to release a lot of pent-up emotional turmoil and are feeling overly challenged. If you fight with them then you can be blamed even if it had nothing to do with you, and they can rationalize their need to tantrum. It’s like they need to turn up the heat in order to boil so they’re able to get enough stream in order to blow the lid off- and release what they’ve been stuffing or holding onto instead of dealing with the challenges head on and self-caring. What would be some alternatives? Meditate, journal, workout hard, use creative part of brain, wake up other senses- sound therapy, aromatherapy; primal scream somewhere private; seek counseling, adrenaline rush - zipline, bungee, etc. or just accept that these emotions are ok and they can be given back to the universe.

[@Lorij24]

Wow, this is exactly what my bf has been doing lately. And it's always my fault, and he then has an excuse to withhold affection. Wtf

[@Didi-fr5ic]

Mine is giving me the silent treatmemt after expressing how I felt..its been a week I really do want a man who can communicate to me that is important. Red flag I am running

[@user-np7dv2rx4c]

Yes, run. That’s abusive.

[@dashiajames1882]

That's huge clue/redflag telling you to get out of that relationship pronto..!!

[@Katrn30]

I have finally decided to leave when a red flag, or deal breaker pops up. It is so hard to change people, so why bother? I am so over Drama Kings.

[@Didi-fr5ic]

@@Katrn30 me too

[@JamesWoodson071]

Keep in mind, it's not your BF responsibility to make you feel better or feel good. Had a bad week? Yeah, it'd be nice to have a partner who is willing and able to do things special for you, like running you a bath, giving you a neck massage.... But, ultimately, you're happiness is your responsibility.

[@nataliasolakian7928]

Praying for Godly emotionally mature and Biblically sound men to rise up and be the fathers and husbands they are called to be.

[@isabelgabilondo1713]

I would add : he never says sorry

[@frida_m4426]

Or he'll say it every time without actually changing

[@christacarpenter5416]

The second one is relatable. I experience it personally. Due to my depression and anxiety disorder I get affected easily and it can affect me for hours. But I try to move on. It’s just hard for me.

[@pamchesler242]

It is wonderful for a man to live his mother but..when it is all the time I feel not only is he attached to her in a way that is dependent but he’s reliant on her…he’s not independent of her..another huge sign aside from blame deflection is an inability to communicate…when the lines of communication are not open there can be no successful relationship of any type…there’s others, but those are key 🔑 and I didn’t see it until it was too late and I was believing that this was the way it is and I loved him for the positives in him…I ignored the red flags…but in the end, it was a lesson learned..I have never learned a lesson in a way that was not painful…

[@gracepurcell7825]

This guy is describing my son..who is almost 27 and it's been my biggest challenge to observe him play the "victim" blaming others and rarely taking responsibility..for serious stuff..I won't go into detail. I very much appreciate this video. All stuff I know and was looking for some videos to share with some friends who needs to hear this..although often those who really need to hear this may be in denial and not ready to hear something too close to home because then they will have to do something about it.

[@HowardR999]

Hold on to your own truth ❤

[@jillg7321]

Thank you Mat, just clarifying what I went through in a 14 month relationship that has since ended. Great reminder for the one who’s about to enter my life!! I will be ever so ready and watch for these signs!! ❤ TY always

[@onemorething123]

When you do something that everyone does on occasion (snap or have a tone) and apologize and explain it was a miscommunication, and the man overreacts and not only says he can't get past it but reads into everything you say after that and accuses you of things you're absolutely not doing, to the point where you feel bewildered and there is nothing you can say to calm him down or to see reason. His emotions and past baggage just take over, and he puts all of that on you for accidentally snapping at him (and apologizing for it, no less). Unsure if that's emotional immaturity or just too much past baggage.

[@jasminetea7514]

Are you me? Because I just experienced the exact same thing 2 days ago. I was so lost for 2 days of the little thing that I did wrong and he suddenly just snapped and blamed me for everything, then ended the relationship. He said what I said triggerred his past-trauma, but I wasn't aware and I told him we could talk about it and i wouln't do it again. Nevertheless he didn't care about my point of view and all blame was on me in his head

[@Bre1002.]

I was married to a man that when I did the slightest thing like open a pack of toilet paper not knowing there was already an opened pack; he would scream and cuss me. Others had to conform to HIS schedule and if they didn’t there would be Hell to pay. NEVER AGAIN!

[@deepikamahanty]

Here 2/3. Always blaming and fighting for very minute things.. When it's a great function to celebrate at home and i was enjoying, he was telling that I'm sad and you are enjoying there and the reason behind that is he misunderstood me. Finally, it's all my fault always😢💔

[@Cleardelune]

I was in my place peaceful even after all attacks, he kept messing up, he messed up too much and top of it he dares to keep messing endlessly, it's pay back time to all levels, its not running from them, it's make them feel what they did to us.

[@vixter28]

My ex got angry & yelled at me one night when we were out Wouldn’t tell me what was wrong & ghosted me for days - SO IMMATURE! Didn’t even have the balls to talk about it much less apologize We broke up after that

[@NovaFiftyfive]

Good for you!

[@lunamorena390]

The content of your videos is so RICH Matt, that you don't need the "Special effects" with the camera "cuts". It's distracting. Completely unnecessary!. You are so ENOUGH! Your knowledge, your personality, your unique charm are perfect to our growth. It's really visually bothering those "cuts". Gratitude & Respect LM

[@klm7858]

I agree. You don't need gimmicks or oddball humor----just keep laying it out there like you do: clearly, understandably, and with your positive heart. We deeply appreciate *you*. Hugs.

[@Tanyaswrt.77]

he is so ferious if things does not goes his way!

[@gracep2910]

4:04 No, you should place blame. He is wrong. He was noncommunicative, rude, and immature.

[@genallen769]

Here’s one: when he’s a 40 year old man who blocks and unblocks you when there is conflict, and when he feels overwhelmed by a discussion about the relationship so he ghosts for 5 weeks….

[@sfc5774]

Wow….just wow

[@krissyu]

Mat, WOW! You JUST described my ex boyfriend who broke it off 2 weeks ago. If you had not given examples then I may not have caught on that he was emotionally immature, but because you gave examples like the traffic, that's a huge one, things with work, and a family member's diagnosis, etc. He actually had ALL 3 of those situations and was in a horrible mood because of all 3 of them!! You explained the exact circumstances that changed his mood and it was an ah-ha moment for me! THANK YOU for the examples!! If you had just said in general about the reasons and didn't give an example I don't know that I would have realized it!!

[@Lookkainoi]

same girl

[@TheMAEdsell]

All of these are the reasons i literally just stop dating after almost a year.

[@akinazara]

I'm dealing with a man like this anytime I express he says I'm nagging and I felt unappreciated. I'm done with him and ready to move on with my life in peace. I wish him the best - he's always complain about something always unhappy and toxic. It's all about him and his selfishness.. I've gotten cold and distant from him now. My needs arent getting met and things have changed between us. Its best to close this door between us.

[@lolasaysyes]

Great content, Mat! I always appreciate the concrete examples and solid advice. Everything in this video you said is applicable to emotionally immature people in general regardless of gender. Another big red flag to point out is to see how the person deals with stress management. Specifically, unhealthy coping mechanisms like self-medicating with drug/alcohol use or other addictive behaviors. These are common in people who have trouble with emotional self-regulation

[@raularmas317]

Felt security and the ability to take measured risks is often dependent on being taught to self-soothe by an emotionally mature guardian who models the healthy behavior to a child. No modeling=no learning. No learning leads to a lot of lonely people who cannot sustain relationships. This is the biggest epidemic( bar none) I now witness daily, and it is sad, bordering on depressing.

[@krissyu]

Lola: yes, excellent point about self medicating drug/alcohol use! My ex had those too!

[@heatherframpton9693]

I experienced all of these in previous relationships turned marriages...exhausting! 😔 Now, Thank God for my emotionally mature husband! ❤

[@hififire9549]

I swear this title used to say "Baby Man" and that is what made me watch it!

[@kt45026]

😂😂

[@sajidahassam1217]

I get blamed most of the time for things that I haven't done.. sometime even abuse me and that makes me feel so sad and when I am sad and cry he doesn't like it and he wants me to be okay in a blink of an eye after him behaving with me like that.. we are currently in a long distance relationship

[@sajidahassam1217]

This happened again yesterday and I haven't been talking to him the whole day today I am so confused I don't know what to do 😭

[@nataliehoffman6050]

End he relationship. He is not meeting your emotional needs and will never change. I was married for over 20 years to someone who treated me very similarly. Now divorced and happier than ever. you deserve better.

[@sajidahassam1217]

@@nataliehoffman6050 thank you for your advice.. tho it is hard for me to end the relationship I love him so much😭

[@nataliehoffman6050]

@@sajidahassam1217 I understand that you love him, but love is a 2 way street. And he is not demonstrating love- he may not be capable of truly loving someone. Frankly, he sounds like a narcissist- look at some video from Dr. Ramani, Angie Atkinson, Lisa Romano- and see if any of those resonate with you. if they do- RUN. Go no contact and never sepal to him again. Narcissists are master manipulators and will tell you what you want to hear to get you back but it empty promises. my ex husband made my life hell- during and after our marriage.

[@vickimurphy5183]

@@sajidahassam1217 I’m going to recommend a song “I missed me more”. It’s about a breakup where she thought she was going to miss him but realized she had missed herself more. She missed being herself and expressing herself. I loved my ex and gave the relationship every single chance and should have ended it way sooner than I did. He was verbally abusive and narcissistic. I took my life back, moved on and became the woman I want to be. I also acknowledged that if loving me turns him into a jerk and loving me means being verbally abusive then that’s not really love. That’s a toxic relationship so I took 6 years getting to know me and then found a guy who loves me for me. Who is sweet and supportive and would never hurt me…he’s the kind of guy that would lay down his life for those he loves.

[@geneviveross4234]

How about when a guy tell you “I’m a very difficult person to get along with..?” RUN RUN RUN..!! Even the Bible says “Out of the wickedness of their hearts, their mouth speaks”

[@sharonc6602]

Girl, you are so right. I met a man that told me that everyone in his past thought he was an assh*le. Despite my forgiving, accepting, loving heart, four years later I found out they were right.

[@evelynrobinson5810]

Good that the warning came early!

[@juliagrant3339]

Oh my gosh, all 3 red flags were being waved enthusiastically by my ex. Every time, Matt says each flags, I keep saying my ex, my ex, my ex. I used to say that he would blame the weather on me if it rains.

[@jbreezy5959]

On point, totally last bf 😕. Much love Matt for all the insights that help people recognize unhealthy ways of being in a partner 💗

[@anar8154]

I've seen condescension...as a way to undercover anger

[@antonia6648]

Hey Matt, great video. I appreciate your clips - very helpful! An emotionally immature man1) seeks constant attention and admiration, 2) is strongly confirmation - biased when it comes to topics such as politics and religion and thinks his point of view must automatically be the right point of view , 3) is a crowd pleaser but doesn't have clearly defined values, 4) the victim mindset that you've been describing - 100%, 5) showing (through behaviors such as punishing as you mentioned) instead of verbalizing frustration and distress, 6) believes in cliches, 7) is overly pleasure-seeking and pleasure-driven; lazy, 8) expects the world to give him stuff and treat him more special than others.

[@klm7858]

Thank you SO much for this video, Mat. It solidified my uneasy feelings about this guy I've been seeing for over 3 years. Thank you, thank you, Thank you!

[@wonhur885]

Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, i wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash.

[@wonhur885]

@Rose Allen well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer.

[@wonhur885]

@Rose Allen Her name is Shelly Renee White, and she is great at what she does.

[@wonhur885]

@Rose Allen you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.

[@olive4naito]

I agree that couples shouldn't give up easily but it really depends on if you got married for the right reasons or if your values just don't align anymore. If you love each other it will show in the work that's put in to mend the connection if it's broken.

[@nakyeyuneaishaakiiki6543]

My husband blames me for almost all things in life, he even blames me when neighbors fight or even when it rains. Am never anything good to him

[@sheenaxoxo5787]

I think you pretty much got it always thinking they are right! Your feeling are always wrong or funny 😒! They don't communicate there feelings or are open at all! They try to flip on you when in an argument it's always your fault!

[@AdebolaTitilayo]

I sat my husband down today so that we can talk about what I notice in our relationship that’s not right and I’m so worried… he blamed me for everything… 😢😢

[@maria.1c1313]

Great video, thank you! No more emotional immaturity on either side for me, healing, maturing and growing and accepting only mutual relationships ❤️‍🔥🙏🥰

[@aliciacoble7854]

" I won't change" ...yea I am starting to hear this A LOT and I'm getting sick of it

[@biancahernandez6432]

This guy that i was about to date already punished me on the day we met 😂

[@wren5291]

I'm in a relationship with a guy and during one of our conversations (the umteenth one I had to instigate because he never wants to address anything) he hit on me not replying to his messages. I always reply 1. out of politeness and 2. because I wanted to carry on communications. I've also noticed that he tries to turn things around a lot. I've done nothing short of bare my soul, here and there and not all in one go because that's way too much for a person to take, I've been attentive, disarming and patient in order to help him feel comfortable telling me things, I've helped around the house and even gone to feed the 2 month old kitten he claimed he wanted (but didn’t want to be responsible for) whilst he's at work 8-10 hours per day. I basically had to convince him to let me go feed a kitten he was happy to leave alone for such long periods. He just comes across as very self involved and airy fairy. It's not looking like this will last much longer, and honestly, I don't feel good around him. Sadly, he has the backbone of a wet noodle😒. I know in my gut that he isn't right for me, so once the kitten is grown and strong I'm off.

[@miriamberisha937]

Thank you for that video, my husband is exactly like this.

[@sindhu_21]

Thank you so much for this! These are exactly what i experienced recently and brought much heartbreak. I guess i am just glad i found it much earlier in the early phase of dating 🙏

[@TeaPourSixFour]

Came here to learn about others: Got Called out myself on #3 Working on clear direct kind communication

[@NefariousMinded]

I do things both an emotionally immature, and mature man do. With me it comes down to not being able to control my frustration when people react crazy to me. I will be a fully emotionally mature man in all situations, until I get disrespectful verbally or belittled. Then maturity goes out the door and I’m in full on fight mode.

[@RuthAnne1961]

Emotional immature men that I've experienced (one in particular) was a Covert Narcissist. My input was not only my part but his too. Anyway, back to your question. The emotionally immature man took things away from me when I wanted to discuss a way that he had behaved. He didn't like me highlighting what he wanted to keep hidden. Thing is its so noticeable when someone is emotionally immature 🙃

[@shelbyjohnson5990]

I hope you blasted that dude all over media so other women in your town/area could know to stay away from him. Lol sounds petty but I promise it's not.

[@MotherEarth573]

Guy invited me to fancy restaurant, only had FREE water and did NOT order any food then talked for an hour..destroyed my confidence and hope for relationship

[@cattollefson3635]

Jealousy! I went out with a man twice and things just didn't feel right with him. On the second date, i told him I was meeting a male friend for lunch just to talk. He showed me exactly how jealous he was in an instant! HIs take was that he already cared about me so he was just showing that by being jealous. NOPE!! It's a control issue and it would have only gotten worse. I broke things off with him immediately!!

[@vp5134]

Absolutely!!! Jealousy is just controlling behaviour and unacceptable

[@Varaidzo1]

Proud of you for breaking things off

[@DiaHoyDiaz]

Hello, Some emotional immature signs I have witnessed are: Constantly and consistently cutting them off a/o overtalking them in conversation. Constantly and consistently saying that they "never do" or that they are "always" and none of which are in a positive light. There's also times when they claim they are listening during a serious topic but they barely look up from their device or console to meet your gaze. Or when they're only response is naming your your faults and negging and attacking your character. Thank you for your videos they are greatly appreciate and vastly valuable and helpful. 😁👍🏾

[@jeanettesuzannebrooks1963]

Your content rocks, thank you!

[@daniellewalker5681]

As a women that has been through this with multiple men, my best advice is run away from men like this. These are throw away men.

[@bethdane7459]

Was drawn to this video due to a close friend. Her now boyfriend seems to drain her constantly. We were all having a great time last night at her house, but the tables turned and everyone had to leave because her “boyfriend” was upset about something. I lived through a toxic relationship/marriage for 23 years, and this new “boyfriend” reminds me of my ex husband in many ways! Trying to figure out the best way to advise my friend without losing friendship. 😢

[@virgo3175]

You can't, really- she has to learn it herself, on her terms. I've tried many times to do so, and it just created a wedge in between us of resentment, bc they just get back together and guess who the bad guy is after? 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@SureshR-c5x]

I’m guilty of number 2. My ex was hyping up a weekend away and it was a complete disaster. I was pissed off because I spent nearly £300, she didn’t spend any money and compared me to her ex saying that I picked a cheap room while her ex would always pick the best. I wasn’t allowed to use the toilet in case my shit smells so had to use the toilets at the reception.

[@ak-47intelligence75]

He gave me the silent treatment. Now I'm giving him the silent treatment. It won't get better from here on. I already know that but I don't really care cause you can't change anyone. They're already set in their own ways. Just letting this "play" run its course. Soon he will ends things or I will end it. Either way, I'm fine with the outcome. On to the next man who will repeat the exact same ol' patterns.

[@shelbyjohnson5990]

On to the next man that will repeat the same patterns? Well it sounds to me like the problem isn't the guys. It might be you. Only YOU can choose to be aware and look for a different kind of man.. but I understand that most men don't show their true colors until much later. But that's what "courting" is for, and nobody does that anymore. 😒

[@louiseclancy6781]

How depressing.

[@Varaidzo1]

Don't choose these men. End things when you see the red flags & I promise in your perception you'll see the flags early on. We do see them but we ignore them often when we like someone.

[@frida_m4426]

Signs? Getting out of the car mid discussion, crying nonstop when I got pregnant and saying he wanted to die, silent treatment, being moody in DISNEYLAND, liking other girls on instagram after telling him how that made me feel... Jeez. Idk how I stayed almost two years.

[@Foodthoughtsandcrime]

The emotionally mature guy would have contacted her before the meet up. It’s common courtesy and a mature thing to do. Way too many emotionally immature people today. Sad. 😞

[@vanhaze2000]

Thank you but IMO a big flaw in your vid is that you didn't mention that "He" could be replaced by "She". Kind Regards.

[@amyroseabdul9059]

My ex husband has this sign, he always blame others for the mistake and get frustrated on everything. Im tired from him. Everytime he get home he will bring his problem outside at home.

[@JamesWoodson071]

When a young man baby spends more time playing video games than investing time with their GF or wife... Red flag!!!

[@Em-im1yz]

Arrived 2 hours early for the date and didnt tell me he was going to be that early. Upset that i couldnt meet him 2 hours before our planned time. Had he said " hey im gonna be early is that ok". He didnt he just turned up 2 hours early. Red flag

[@CindyValencia]

The tantrums and manipulation was real. It felt like i was in a relationship with a highschool student . 30 and acting like he was 13- mommy and daddy fixed all his problems and controlled his life

[@secretshaman189]

Great info Mat as usual, thank-you!

[@blondshellcc]

I have been forced to "think about" why he is mad or upset. He wouldn't just flat out tell me. I suggested that we use the " I feel" tools and he looked at me like I was speaking Chinese. Then responded with, " Well, that's never going to happen."

[@AdebolaTitilayo]

My husband always bring up d past… in my mind I tot we resolved it already… he even use that to attack me more

[@paulinanakabugo1271]

I tell u emotionally immature people irritate and when it's your partner, 😮

[@mariettehanekom2109]

I went out with a guy who was very critical blaming me for everything that went wrong in his life. I remember it was a Saturday morning I was looking for a mint chocolate and I knew I could buy them at one of two places. Was he cros with me blaming for talking to much to the assistant . Red flags took hom out of the store said this it. He shouted at me I walked away head held high. I think this was the last straw for me

[@awakenacres]

I lived with a man like this for 12 years and even had children with him. I finally left after I couldn’t take it anymore. Never again!

[@annstar2793]

That kind of guy in your example is the worst. I had a similar thing with a friend, and that ended the friendship real quick !

[@beth9235]

Most men are immature and it gets on my nerves.

[@C.C.369]

I just thought yesterday about how sad it is that some men's emotional states are dictated by the win or loss of their sports team! Also I feel like it's way more than that. I think those are men that never allow themselves to show or feel emotions except their team wins or loses. Meaning they indeed depend on a win to show all the stored up happiness and depend on a loss to express alllll their stored up sadness through anger! 🚩🚩🚩

[@sisi3565]

I'm ever sadder because I notice just as bad immaturity issues with women that were supposed to be the more mature ones - we keep hearing how men are big children but so many young women now act like little babies throwing tantrums and blaming everybody else but themselves 😔 It's very disappointing and sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't have workshops for women how to be emotionally mature and not-toxic first, before we go looking for amazing men because this way we only hurt ourselves and them (and we corrupt even more good men). My co-worker would unleash on her husband every time she messed up a line in her makeup or, even worse, if she broke a nail! Really sad 😔

[@GiveWithLove]

Anytime I mention something that bothers me, he twists it by blaming me for the dumbest things that bothered him months ago. He can't focus on my points and acknowledge what I say and take responsibility. Furthermore, he isn't capable of maintaining a mature conversation. I don't know what will come of this. I'm drained.😩

[@liveandletlive9333]

1. QUICK TO BLAME OTHERS 2. THEY LET CIRCUMSTANCES CONTROL THEIR MOOD. 3. THEY WILL TRY TO PUNISH YOU INSTEAD OF COMMUNICATING THEIR FEELINGS.