How Men Know She's the One | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

[@matboggs]

Sign up to be coached by Mat here: www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/mym/offer/strategy-session?div=lr&KZbin&Social&MYM_EVG&CNT_video

[@barbarablack7767]

Fantastic presentation!

[@biancavidaurri]

DaNEill

[@lyonsmobilenotaryservice2816]

Such good advice! My first husband was “NOT” my person and I wish I knew all this back then. My second now late husband checked all the boxes and I believe he felt this way. We had a beautiful and loving marriage. Now dating as a widow the rules still apply. Ive started a relationship with someone im starting to care for deeply, now 3 years after my person passed. Widows and widowers need special guidance on re-entering a relationship because we still love our person but like me desire it again when we have a lot of life to love and enjoy. But its scary!

[@ChelissaMoon]

I’m sorry for your loss. I hope you find someone that fuels you ❤

[@brisha.j]

Sorry for your loss. You are very lucky

[@sara24242]

Bless you ❤ I hope you have a wonderful marriage again. 36 and praying that my #1 will finally find me/ask me.

[@lyonsmobilenotaryservice2816]

@@ChelissaMoon thank you and me too.

[@nychang75]

Thank you for sharing your beautiful and wise post. From a widower.

[@jessitabonita]

1️⃣ (1:25) *He looks for you igniting intense feelings for him.* Chemistry! He has it for you or not, but the better you implement these next 6 factors, the more intense his feelings will become for you... 2️⃣ (2:29) *Does he feel at home with you?* Can he relax in your presence? A large part of this is if you can be at home and relaxed/authentic/comfortable with yourself! 3️⃣ (3:24) *Do you and him share the same vision for your life?* Do both of you want to travel on adventures or be homebodies? Do you want children? Do you want to homeschool your children? (I might add: even more so than wanting children, do you actually know what a blessing they are and do you want the DUTY & RESPONSIBILITY of being a wife/mom and husband/dad? Because a lot of people "want a spouse" or "want kids" for selfish reasons.) 4️⃣ (4:21) *Do you share the same values?* This is foundational! Do you share the same spiritual or religious values? Do you share the same health values like working out and keeping your body in shape? How do you spend your free time? (Personally I've met some great guys who have been beaten down by life that they choose to spend their free time with escapism: usually wasting hours on end playing video games or binge watching movies/tv. And while that turns me off because the etymology of the word "entertainment" literally means "to hold the mind," and so just like with being mindful and intentional with my diet-I'd prefer if he is also as discerning with what kind of media he programs his mind with. However: I'm not so entitled that this is a deal breaker or red flag. He just needs some inspiration!) 5️⃣ (4:51) *Do you fit with his family? Does he fit with your family?* Although some of us aren't blessed with great in-tact families: can you easily get along with his parents/siblings? Does he feel accepted and at home with your family? If he does: he can see himself as part of your family. It paves the emotional road of him saying, "yeah, I can see her fitting with me long term." 6️⃣ (6:14) *He feels great about himself when he's around you.* If he gets in your presence and feels like a better version of himself because of the environment you create: that is very hard to find and irreplaceable! You are inspiring to him because you see the greatness in him and genuinely compliment/praise him not excessively give him empty flattery. You inspire him that he is greater than his circumstances and help him be more connected to possibilities than to limitations. 7️⃣ (7:44) *A woman who can help solve problems vs. amplify them.* He questions, "We know that life is tough, so is this the person that I want by my side when we face challenges? Is she going to amplify the problems, stress, drama, or is she going to bring peace and calm?" Example: if a flat tire happens on your way to an important gathering: don't start using SIGN Language (shame, insults, guilt-trips, the need to be right lecturing) out of impatient frustrated anger, but instead understand that it's not what happens: it's how you handle it. Gracefully accepting what is happening with a positive outlook to look for solutions trusting that everything will be okay is RARE. TL;DR Make _him_ hard, not his life- and he will make _you_ wet, not your eyes. 😉

[@christinedozier2154]

Thank you

[@QueenMidasLifeAlchemist]

Thanks sis. ❤

[@cherylpa527]

Thank you!! Love your last statement 🤣❤️

[@jessitabonita]

@@cherylpa527 Another word of simple relationship wisdom I love from my Tia who just celebrated her 37th anniversary with my Tio: "Keep the house a peaceful home, a refuge for him to _want_ to come home to after dealing with the world-and when he's home keep his belly full and balls empty." 🤭😊😇

[@kimora7964]

Thank you for all of your writing ✍️

[@pricesunbury59]

My man came right out of the gate. He does feel like he can be himself and I feel at home with him. We do share the same things, no kids, traveling, walking , yes we share the same values. We fit with each other's family. He does feel gteat when he's around me.

[@rezotydnic]

7✔'s 😊 Soo glad I found my 'one'. And I am his 'one'. First date, first hug, I knew. He was my 'home'.

[@life-is-here]

Men want to feel intense emotions when they are with someone they think could be 'the one'. They want to feel a connection that will last a lifetime.

[@TheMoolimoo]

Fantastic advice Matt!! I’ve been seeing a guy that I’m starting to fall in love with. He’s everything I ever wanted and checks all the boxes above, I feel so blessed to have met someone like this. I didn’t know people like him existed. I’m so afraid of messing it up by being too awkward or insecure, which are not normal attributes of my personality at all. Really working on getting away from that and hopefully nailing this down permanently. Your content truly helps me in life. Thank you!

[@paolanamuncura8879]

👏👏👏 thanks to You I know I am the one now! We have talked about marriage. And yes we Will get married.

[@MermaidMoney]

I am so grateful that I am like this naturally now. I cannot wait for him to come into my life!!! I cannot wait to be the one who comforts him, lifts him up and walks through life as partners together.

[@lifeofwonderment]

Be authentic. Thanks for clarifying ways that can happen. Great videos!

[@DarlitaStephens]

Makes total sense. A lot of what you said also can apply to if a woman feels as though he could be "the one"...all except needing him to get along with my family. That doesn't apply to me because my family is absolutely NUTS and I don't even like them. I know a lot of what you said, especially him feeling like home and finding solutions vs amplifying a problem applies to how I feel towards a man being "the one".

[@bellonabeerbaum339]

I like the point regarding solving problems vs. amplifying them. I was with an amazing man. He loved to solve problems. In fact, he tended to create problems or to amplify them, so that he could be the hero to solve them. In the end, this was very exhausting for me and I had to quit this relationship. Thank you for your work, you do such a great job encouraging people to find the love and live the life they deserve.

[@janewildeboer]

It has to work both ways surely - women are not superheroes put here to prop up men! Everybody taps into different personality traits and brings out the best, and worst in one another. If you are with a partner who is always making a drama out of everything then, believe me, it wears you down.

[@Jewelsessences]

its important to understand WHY theres so called drama

[@vp5134]

Feels like I will never find that kind of person.. 😔 so difficult to achieve that...

[@caliblu3872]

I feel like my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years consistently feels all 7. My problem is that he suffers from depression from outside issues. He becomes clingy as if I'm a security blanket. I used to allow him to monopolize my time, which left me feeling smothered. We are working on a balance now.

[@jackroyston3263]

So beautiful to watch, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i can't stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just can't, i love her so much, i don't know what i am bring this here for, i can't stop thinking about her~.

[@sannybangun]

Thank you Mat, your wisdom is so valuable for this generation. No BS, no games, only truth that comes out from a mature understanding. ❤

[@GabbityGabby]

Some people may feel differently, but I absolutely feel that it is possible to share the same values without having the same religion. I have been dating my man for 4 years, and although we don't share the same religion, our morals and values are very aligned.

[@margaritakleinman5701]

Completely agree with you, your partner doesn't necessarily need to be of the same religion. A former hairdresser of mine was a devout Catholic from Mexico, her husband a Pakistani Muslim. They had a very happy marriage!

[@mmommo10]

went to a funeral a few years ago....at the eulogy, they said he would read the Sunday Republican Newspaper and she would read the Democrat newspaper! thought that was so cute!

[@violetmyer9078]

I've been pondering about this. My boyfriend and I have mostly the same values but our reasonings stem from completely different places. He's atheist while I'm slowly coming back around to christianity. At this point we've decided that we see a future together but this issue "roughly same values, different roots" has been nagging in the back of my mind bc I hear so much about everything needing to line up from the same place of beliefs

[@GabbityGabby]

@@violetmyer9078 All I can say is that I'm an atheist who's been in a thriving relationship with a Christian for 5 years. Having the same values is what matters to us, and as far as religion, we don't try to change each other's minds, so it works 🙂

[@mendjelire8392]

Fitting into each others families is just a bonus, sometimes you dont want them to fit in with your family. My husband even said back in our begining to my mother: if they (his parents) want to continue to have a son they better accept her. And my father wouldnt agree to me getting engaged, to my now husband, for three years and then dragged my wedding for another 5 years in the hope that we would break up. We've been together 36 years now. I had a terrible relationship with his mother, not once he talked to me about it. There are no rules when it comes to love. You might make a list but when it happens to you, you might just tear it up and through it away.

[@christiepassos1792]

Your videos are so insightful!!! Truly haven't discovered any other channel that provides such direct and honest advice about thinking from the man and women's perspective! Very thankful for all the videos you share with everyone!

[@nat.shuffles]

They're connected to limitation instead of possibilities! 🤯 Wow!! I want to be connected to possibilities ✨️

[@carlahabib1768]

You’ve right on on this. Thanks so much!

[@seabee5695]

Thanks Matt for all you do. 👏👏👏 With the distractions of relationship labels and confusion, materialism and unhealthy habits, toxic relationships, as well as the negative Influences of Television and Social Media,... Your channel is appreciated more now than ever before. We need more Positive Influences like This Video. In striving for a life that is Loving, Joyful, Harmonious and Fulfilling, it is vital for men and women, boys and girls, of All ages... to have Healthy Role-Models, as well as Positive support from a variety of sources to bring balance in all areas. This video is a good example of questions/ steps to consider when building a solid Foundation to a Lasting Relationship. Wishing You and your Family a Blessed Holiday Season.🙏

[@anitamoses4071]

Interesting video I love watching your videos

[@adventuresforthesoul6472]

Your choice in the videos you insert is superb. Love the diversity.

[@marjorie3846]

How do we, women, know if HE's the one, Matt? One year into the relationship and I feel like he's the one already. Never been in a serious relationship so there's a part of me that says I'm not being rational.

[@ninaan81]

I’m not Matt, but I’m a person who knew my then boyfriend was “the one” after a few months. After 6 months we decided to be together “forever “ and wanted to have a baby and planning our wedding… I believe that age matters. Being 30 years old or more sometimes allows for quicker , and despite that, reasonable decisions. He has been my husband for 5 years, we have kids and I still think he is the greatest love and the best love that happened to me. I feel truly blessed and hope to stay in that mood forever. I would take Matt’s answers and ask them myself to know he is the one. He should be your friend, have same values and future vision, wanting kids (or not), you should like spending your free time with him. If you don’t feel he is the one, maybe he doesn’t make you feel that way, maybe he is not.

[@FlamingCockatiel]

Good video. I just had a boyfriend tell me that he didn't want to date me anymore, and I think this video showed me some of the areas where I went wrong, although I thought I was doing a good job for the most part. I was starting to think that he was the one for me, although I had never had another boyfriend before. I wanted to get out of my personal pit, but there were times I felt I was dragging him down. I miss his presence in my life.

[@PamelaBarteeTheBodyLoveCoach]

This was sooooo good!! Thank you

[@kidsnkitespreschool8139]

Love from India and the phrase you said that you are marrying the family is very true for us Indians , Love all your videos

[@JasmineRouse-s8v]

Amen! I will be a helper and problem solver with my Kingdom Spouse. Thank you for sharing these tips!

[@kimt8162]

Money ends up being an issue; the guys never have money. They can't take care of themselves let alone offer an equal part in any relationship. I've told my daughter it's better to be single than have a guy who has a kid with you and then can't hold up his sides of things.

[@lilgr0ck]

I love everything about this video. Thank you!

[@MariamSabaArt]

Thank you! Rich with jewels and helps demystify the whole process. 💜

[@jazstar4622]

This is realy dated My parents are deceased And my siblings Are abusive to me Should I give up on a life partner ,Im a attractractive and creative and loving human is that enough , I really get sick of people defining me on my history which is over ...

[@melany.muraour]

All of these were 💯percent true and then he dumped me telling me he's heart is still with his ex wife who left him 3 years ago 😢

[@jmitch618]

I’m so sorry 😢

[@MistMgmt]

Super excellent vid 🕊Thank you so kindly🕊

[@JS-ld2qd]

Great video

[@MyVlogTherapy]

This was really good very helpful 👏🏽

[@margaritakleinman5701]

Wow this is excellent, really love this! I really love where you're coming from, Mat, every word resonated with me. Thank you, I'm subscribing!

[@michellemena4183]

Top things men look for is the look and attraction from a woman then interest same thing they like and communication when it comes to something in common to talk about and the list go on next.

[@dashiajames1882]

Good afternoon everyone: I literally clicked the like button before I even watched the video. I said " I know this video gonna be great "....these things are very important. I'm single so I need to know these things. I love that you brought this stuff up. I literally never thought about this stuff. Thank you..🙂🙂🙂

[@UpToChris]

I think these apply to women too.

[@berivansahin6730]

Love it! 😍😍🎉🎉

[@ednagomes9247]

Thank you for this video,do you talked about important things.

[@theonejaynewallace296]

Then I have another question: You know men sometimes dont reply. So there are a few reasons why they dont, I get that. What I want to know is this: Will the right guy also decide sometimes not to reply? Even and also, after you have dated or married for 2-10 years (I understand the forgetting part.) Will the right guy not reply to your messages? And why is this a male 'thing'? Example: All of a sudden they are consistant with the replies and then one day they just "decide"🤔 not to reply, even when they think of you, they dont even reply or go back to your text message/your inbox and go and text you (then they will see 'I didnt reply the last time") and reply with a thumbs up or something. Hope you understand my question. ☺🙈 Or is this a female wounded issues (we would like to receive replies, as they always did.) I think and believe that I can feel, 'he is deciding not to reply me any more' Its like they do it once off consistantly then (except for being busy, etc) all of a sudden when you text, they read, they just dont reply. Hope you get what Im trying to ask. 😉😊 I believe you will understand.

[@anitaandrita2759]

To be honest....it should be both ways. Equally, not solely depends on how women makes men feels.

[@happycnwani8746]

I just subscribed. Thank you so much

[@agnesr.4664]

This video is legit. Thanks.

[@Goodwillwinoverevil1984]

Thanks. This video was helpful. ❤

[@easymathstutor]

And when he knows I'm the one, do I want to be with him?

[@AntoanetaStancu]

Yeah, goood question !

[@neel8011]

Thank you very much dear and God bless you always ❤❤

[@theonejaynewallace296]

Another question @mathewboggs, so if he feels maybe Im the one or even feels like Im the one, would he not want to text me a few times or a lot and would love to hear from me? Doesnt this count as his actions and words and energy need to align? His energy is there, no text messages, no messages at all. (I cant say no words, cause words aligning with energy means: his words as in: "he wants to be in a relationship, he will come when he says he will, etc). 'Cause if his energy is so strong....texts messages need to follow right? He would initiate the conversation via text as well, right? He would like to hear from me so even if he isn't a big chatter via phone (just like I am) would he not even want to text me something short to show interest or to talk to me? Or are these more like preferences? So if his energy is coming to you continuiosly and not text messages. This is still fine? Hope you understand what Im saying.

[@terriestes4973]

Thank you Mat! I appreciate you and your great advice.

[@ajcrum3689]

i live these videos !

[@ElizabethRedmond-r3y]

Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.

[@LindaDooWop]

I really like you and your videos!

[@btwthblood]

Good stuff. Thank you

[@veganvintagegeek2.089]

At the moment I am trying to get to know a man and we've only been talking for a few days. I still do not know if I like him yet, I am interested in him and when I am done talking to him on the phone I am not upset or frustrated. I do however have an issue I really could use help with. See, he's a widower and his wife died a year ago. He keeps talking about her and the last time we talked on the phone he's absolutely comparing me to his late wife. I do not want to be mean to him. My question is, how do I tell him to please do not compare me to his late wife and not dominate the conversation with my late wife this my late wife that talk? Please help, thank you

[@AshleyMWilliams]

That was really good!!

[@keyin4answer]

What is this list for women? I thought this was very helpful in many ways even if it shows some missed points in a relationship

[@meio7538]

what are ways I can make my boyfriend talk to me about his interests and his life more? i feel like im always the one to start conversations and im always the one talking about my life, what i did today, and so on. I want to know more about him, i just feel like he wont open up to me, even about the little things.

[@Temitope94]

Ask him questions.im sure he isn't talking because you aren't asking him questions

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

re: "Questions" - Lots of men, self included, do not like to be asked too many questions. Try ... the question route. Does the man enjoy being ... interrogated??

[@carolynspurgeon5948]

How can I present myself as someone that a man chooses when the relationship is long distance and he is also talking to someone else long distance. Is it worth my investment when I feel like I may be competing? And, how long should I continue knowing there is someone else on his radar?

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

@Carolyn Spurgeon - only YOU can answer the "how long" question in a long distance relationship. (hint: when you no longer have a need to ask the question to strangers!!)

[@nychang75]

When your asking this question to rando's on the internet, you already know the answer. Just looking for some acknowledgment and confirmation of that which you already know...

[@TheJessicagardner]

Thanks Mat

[@maryjom7261]

Thank you thank you!!

[@emmanuelmusasizi4814]

This video is incredible!

[@dianneciresi7208]

No one knows how long ur or any relationship will last so it's hard to determine to consider if whoever is"the one" u decide on. Engagements can get broken. What if ur a player & are afraid of losing ur freedom & u keep one or n others on the back burner incase that relationship doesn't last or work out. People feelings can change over time.. Arguments & fights are inevitable.

[@dreamysunshine]

Thank you so much for this video that you made Matt, I watch your vids a lot and this video. Will really help me, so thank you for that! Please keep making these wonderful videos

[@ladyperky6925]

This is exactly what I also want in a man .

[@curtistinemiller4646]

Two can't walk together unless agreed...💕💕

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

@Curtistine Miller - is the above quote from your deep wisdom? or did you read that from another source.

[@AlishaAbney-b1r]

In the Holy Bible , in the book of Amos 3:3 Can two walk together , except they be agreed ?

[@EGNLearn]

Im going through a breakup right now, as I want to travel and live outside of the UK. She doesn’t, I intensively love this girl and she loves me but she won’t let me end things/ doesn’t want them to end. Any advice?🙌

[@ladyperky6925]

Thanks mat 🙏

[@eva-marialindh2012]

Its a blessing to lissen to YOU THANK YOU FOR YOUR WOUNDERFUL SHARING OF WHAT IS THE FEELING OF TRU LOVE, i think i got it with two different persons that inspier me very much with there personalitys

[@stellameacher3075]

Mat as you talk about the other person getting along with your parents and siblings think do you get along with them?

[@nancyjohnson9749]

Love your videos and love advice but I'm 72 have a man in my life 22 years and his daughter will not accept me ,should I let him go ?

[@twinflamegirl9901]

Let HER go. She has no business to ruin her father’s relationship with you

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

@Nancy Johnson - re: "will not accept me" = since when do you need a BITCH from Hell around to feel accepted ?!?

[@reginapolo3357]

I make my man feel like a king because in my eyes; he is a king. He tells me I am his joy.

[@erikachristen601]

This should be more mutual than just for the guy. How about is he good enough for me?

[@loganross4774]

1. You igniting intense feelings in him. ✨⚡️ 2. Does he feel at home with you. 3. Do you and him share the same vision for your lives. 4. Do you share the same values. 5. Do you fit with his family and does he fit with yours. 6. He feels great about himself when he’s around you. A partner who see the greatness in him. 7. A woman who can help solve problems and who doesn’t amplify them.

[@mmommo10]

loved that

[@chelseadaley9770]

Sometimes women goes through the same thing just like what other men do

[@kellycarlson1716]

This is EXACTLY what women look for as well. All makes sense.

[@pinayinuk]

I am very calm and yes it’s nice to be great so they ur one of a kind

[@queenie5262]

Thank you 🙏🏾 ❤

[@bluepearl4806]

What if I have a highly narcissistic family and he has not?

[@veronicathirion4250]

I have a question to ask.pleas . How do you know if someone is the one for you if he say how he feels about you? And my second I want to now is how do you know if someone is ling to you if you are far from each other.

[@rhiannonh.7463]

Yes to all but 3, however it’s because we never had time to get to a point to discuss those deep important questions because I don’t like to rush through such stages of growing together. I like to live only as it’s happening and if I’m thinking far ahead it’s only a few months because things happen, anything can change. Another reason because I myself have no idea of I want kids and marriage, kind of find if it never happens, but open to it I ever feel like I do want it down the road. Also ifI change my mind and can’t have kids, I’ll adopt. My parents don’t pressure me either about giving them grandkids at 35. Anyway, but yeah, I think with all this, it’s why we never had those kind of conversations. We also broke up about month and half ago and still friends. We didn’t want to breakup, but things externally was causing us to feel in a pressure cooker. Life is complicated and can make a great relationship crumble easily. So right now we’re just friends, I’m taking some space to figure things out, but this list made me realize why he said, “I’ll probably regret this and if I do, I’ll change my mind and want to try again. If you’re taken, I’ll respect it. Leave it be”, so for now we’re just letting it be where it is, plus he volunteered to watch my cat, his idea and choice but it was after we had broken up! No ex will do this under they truly see you as a friend and still love you.

[@alyssabarlow6609]

👏🏻 love this!

[@haneenwassouf3804]

Do you think that ,If you look to all those elements togather ,we are asking for a lot!!!!!!!

[@AshTea22]

What if by bf has been married 4 times, he’s 15yrs older than me, can he still have “ the one” which I want to be me or is that not a thing once you’ve had it 4 times already ?

[@Bianca-sw5id]

So very true 🥰

[@yasminakhurana28]

Amazing 😻

[@messtika-581]

What criteria do women look for when they want to know if he is the one?

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

@MESStika - have you done any personal research on KZbin, or on any search engine? Or does Matt have to do all the work?

[@mrc3226]

Well does he sacrifice for you or does he value you

[@e11ionore79]

Everything is there except families(

[@CerridwenAwel]

Those are traits I'd look for in men

[@faridaaktar9387]

I am always the one

[@alonabuns8080]

One in a MILLION....among the beautiful and amazing one (1), it's you..... 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[@greglodrup5977]

Shes the one if she can accept the whole you.

[@veronicathirion4250]

How do you know if he is cheating on you

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

@Veronica Thirion - re: "he is cheating(?)" = Hire a private investigator to get proof !! If you are asking the question ... then the answer ought to be self-evident.

[@TheMallyjoe]

How about is he the one

[@rabilahaiwas5901]

Magnificent

[@bwisitbuster]

RIP to men and women like me who dont have parents ……

[@KayciazWorld]

Sending you hugs 🙏✝️

[@warriormanmaxx8991]

@Rae - yeahhh ... "rest in peace" to men and women who don't have parents ... to the parents ... including YOU ... for "resting" on laurels as an excuse to not take risks !!

[@taniyatanu9191]

No of course there’s a one for everyone!! Nobody needs to be with 100 the ones! Because as many people you are or have been with you takes so much from you. So let it be 1. Not everyone can understand