3 Things I Do Not Love About Being a Foster Parent

[@emmamcdonald996]

First off, you are amazing! Simply inspirational. I am 19 now, 565 days from turning 21! The day I turn 21, I will begin training to become a foster mom. My friends think I am crazy and say I am throwing my life away and wasting the good years. I can't help where my heart is. This videos are so great and informative for me as I begin to research, watch videos, read books books books. So thank you so so much for these! I hope I'm a good mom like you!

[@afosteredlife]

How wonderful that you have such a strong sense of your calling. I pray you will be surrounded by support and friends and family who will walk closely with you on this journey. Thank you for telling me!

[@ceejay3813]

+A Fostered Life Wow I have been a foster parent for eight years now. And every question I have ever asked about my placements have been answered. I have even had access to therapy notes. I wonder if that is state to state issue.

[@bigd3520]

Emma McDonald that's so awesome Emma!

[@wshelby83]

Emma that's great!!

[@whitneypickle]

That's awesome! Something your friends don't know is that after a placement leaves, you can decide to take some time off for yourself, and that's okay! Enjoy being a young adult, but follow your heart to whatever your calling may be. I now see you are 21 now, so I'm curious what you are up to now!

[@azizawais6886]

I honestly have so much respect for good foster parents.

[@rianahlarimar]

I do too but only for some of them ..

[@carriecarman8964]

Love my babes! We’ve had 1 for almost 4 years and the other for almost 3.5. We are heartbroken as the courts have decided to return our littlest who we were preparing to adopt. It’s so hard some days. People ask, will I do it again and risk my heart like that all over... yes I will.

[@beepboopbop879]

I really wish every foster parent was as patient as you.

[@bree6722]

My best friend was fully adopted by a foster family, along with her older sister. Their parents are gone, and if they weren't adopted then, they would have been sent to separate foster homes. I told her I wanted to adopt when I was older, and she told me to consider being a foster mother. Then she told me this story of a girl that came to her foster home thinking that the only spot in the world for her was working at McDonald's, (that's what her last foster family had told her) and left back to her bio family with plans to become a veterinarian. That touched me so much. I alway feel weird talking about stuff like that with her, but she's open about it, and I've met her mom, she's so nice. I want to be like her💟

[@tayvannaharbin8202]

M

[@laurieoleary2127]

I wanted to let you know that we used your youtube channel as a discussion jumping off point for our graduate school class in Early Childhood Education at the University of Montana. The class is entitled Families, Communities, and Cultures. Our class really enjoyed your channel and couldn't say enough about how helpful your channel is for people to understand what fostering is really like.

[@afosteredlife]

+Laurie O'Leary Hi Laurie! Thanks so much for telling me. It's great to hear! If your classmates have any specific questions they'd like me to address, please feel free to contact me at [e-mail].

[@ashleyh855]

my husband and I are in the process of foster adopting an amazing child. Its great that you adressed the social worker not being able to give certain info to you. thats something that my husband and i have been struggling with its good to know we arent the only ones going through that . some what of a relief thank you!

[@lovebug8482]

Ashley H best of luck on your journey

[@julietberry5819]

Thank you so much for this post. I became a foster parent almost 3wks ago and found these 3 things to be so true already. Helpful to hear others have similar struggles. Will watch some of your other posts.

[@afosteredlife]

Welcome to the club! You're in good company! Hang in there - the first several months are the hardest, but if you can make it past the hard learning curve, there is much joy that awaits. Big hug!

[@julietberry5819]

Ok, glad to know this level of toughness won't last. The cuddles and laughter make it worth the sickness and unexpected things with the biological mom etc. Will keep watching your clips. The more I learn early on, the better!

[@ZoeSquared21]

I have felt that it is my calling to be a foster parent since I was in high school. Right now at 22 I am going through intensive therapy to deal with my own trauma and addiction so that I can be the best, most competent parent I can be, because I know all the love inmy heart won't be enough if I'm not prepared. But I know I can do it, and be the port in a storm that I know all too well for these kids. I'm currently studying child development and pediatric nursing in my own time, and getting myself out of debt. Thank you for all you do and for keeping me inspired and on track to be the mother I am meant to be.

[@katulka2]

I'm not a foster parent (just considering the possibility some time in the future), but I really like your videos!

[@afosteredlife]

+Kaity Katulka2 Thanks Kaity!

[@tayvannaharbin8202]

,m

[@eliyahuwtammen9532]

Children are amazing parts of humanity and we needs to be there and stand for their needs.

[@afosteredlife]

EliYahu WTamMen indeed we do! That’s why we’ve been foster parents for over five years. Every child deserves love and a safe home.

[@ryanmunson8961]

For number three, I found it really helpful to keep a journal and write about my experiences. I didn't have a frequency rule, but often found myself writing about difficult experiences whether it be related to behavior or difficult struggles the foster child went through. I would often reread these entries and be able to remind myself of the things I did in order to prepare myself for future unanticipated events. I still have for when I get a future placement. Reflection is a tool I was taught when going through school to be a teacher.

[@afosteredlife]

Ryan Munson Such a great idea, Ryan. I have been trying to keep a journal, but it's inconsistent. This is a great reminder that it can be a vital tool going forward.

[@angelapolly1]

The roller coaster is definitely the thing I don't love most. Makes us lean into God like never before. Thank you for the videos!

[@su-rv2uq]

I hope you aren't indoctrinating the children in your care.

[@ClaireClips]

i want to be a foster parent when im older!!

[@jeffcookenour3157]

Claire clips

[@tealwashablemarker8886]

same!!!!!

[@jonlengel3341]

My wife and I are in the process of becoming certified. We had our first home visit two days ago and it went very well! Thank you for the info and the time you put into your videos. Subscribed!

[@aurora.the.explorer]

I've volunteered long term abroad in orphanages, and when people in those countries hear about our foster care system they're really impressed (even though there are still plenty of issues still to be addressed!). Thanks for putting such a kind, thoughtful, honest face on this program! I hope I can emulate your attitude and insight in the future:)

[@afosteredlife]

+celibatairepapillon Thank you for your kind words! When we were going through licensing, I was talking regularly with a friend of mine who lives in India, and she could not get over the level of scrutiny we went through to become licensed as foster parents. To people who live in extreme poverty especially, they can't imagine what all the state requires of foster parents, when many of their own children just need a roof over their heads and clean water to drink. I appreciate your feedback and wish you all the best in your journey!

[@pamelajones4412]

Hi I'm a foster mother just found your channel these things are very true along with many others thanks for sharing

[@hannahdumphy9157]

Pamela Jones I'm in foster care

[@alexlg9521]

@@hannahdumphy9157 I'm 34 now. I was in foster care when i was a kid. ❤God loves you more then you can imagine 🤗

[@Rose-wo8bh]

This is really awesome! My husband and I just had our Home Study for foster care 4 days ago. The things you just mentioned (reasons you don't like being a foster parent) were NEVER mentioned! However, before we accept kids, I plan to ask many questions!!!I thank you for making this video for us.

[@natalielynn9582]

Thanks for sharing! I've been thinking about this for awhile and want to know the good, bad, and ugly.

[@afosteredlife]

There's plenty of all of the above :) But it's definitely worth it!

[@nicholinamendoza1402]

Thank you for the information. I'm a new Resource Mom in Orange County, California. Still waiting for our Resource Baby placement.

[@joycehewitt7648]

Do your best I was foster got reliaze what they through Its big thing for our parents didn.t wan.t us I am 68 Those 3 homes so good to me. I Think of them a lot did turn out good I UNDERSTAND now I realize I better off.

[@technochocolate123]

Thanks for sharing your experiences. I don't know if foster care is in my family's future, but it's good to learn more about it regardless. God bless you and the kids you care for.

[@Dani-tl7mw]

between you and Cathy Glass books I am learning so much which is great because we are finishing up our home study

[@afosteredlife]

+Dani Horne To even be named with her is an honor. I love her books :) Welcome to the great adventure of foster parenting!!

[@ginaspangler5091]

Thank you so much for your video, I plan on watching more bc I need encouragement and wisdom! I'm so glad I found you! I've been fostering for 10 months and i am definitely experiencing the emotional rollercoaster you talked about! I feel like you totally understand what we are going through and that in and of itself is so encouraging!! Thanks for making videos about this topic!!!

[@feef6098]

Thanks heaps you made 3 really valid points muchly appreciated :) sounds like your doing a fantastic job :) much health love and light to you and your family (gal from oz)

[@TheMeganshaul]

This made me not feel so bad! Thank you

[@angelicynn]

my family did foster care for a long time. it's difficult but rewarding. I plan on doing it on my own as soon as I can

[@angelicynn]

+Nichita Godonoaga if you're talking about money, you get enough to take good care of the child. if you're talking about what I meant by rewarding, you get to be a big part of a child's life. You get to watch them grow and improve and you get to show them what love really means. And you teach these kids how amazing they are, and help them to learn when alot of them have leaning disabilities

[@angelicynn]

+Nichita Godonoaga what country are you from?

[@afosteredlife]

Here's a video where I share five things I love about being a foster parent. It might answer your question a bit :) kzbin.info/www/bejne/rZfKZpJ9gdtghMU

[@angelicynn]

+Nichita Godonoaga oh wow, that's cool.

[@angelicynn]

+Nichita Godonoaga idk, it just seems really far and different I guess

[@chuthi1399]

I am so relate to what you are telling in this video. the UNKNOW and EMOTION ROLLER COASTER… However, It is a TOUGH LOVE JOB…. still love to help bright up a child life. My first set of sibling , I foster older teen who 17 and younger was 11. Both need extra help on personal need. I reach out for help, but by the time my foster children meet the people that help them. I have to go through so many people interview and waiting. And during process they have changing case worker. I then have to explain over again to new case worker…. and again waiting other to help my foster kids. Finally, My older foster children turn 18 and she wanted to move into independent living, so she can get better help that she needs at her age. Anyway, Sometime searching extra help could bring more burn out by those interview and waiting for so long… You better do for your self. And the result turn out better in my case. I love my foster children they all turn out good kids and quick learn and enjoy good time with our family. They have call me a Vacation MOM/ foster.

[@afosteredlife]

You sound like a great foster mom! Thank you for sharing!!

[@tiarrab.8267]

This was awesome information! Thank you!💕

[@afosteredlife]

My pleasure! Glad you found it helpful!

[@annaf3915]

I'm taking the classes since April and just had my first home visit... it was extremely awkward, not to say absurd. Obviously I spent days cleaning and tidying up my place, then I realized it was too obvious and started to spread little bits of clutter and paper every here and there. The morning before the visit I found a piece of broken glass in a corner (I'd dropped a bottle of pumpkin seed oil days before) and started freaking out. After I found a mouldy piece of ginger in the fridge, I poured a whole bottle of buttermilk into the sink, thinking it was milk that had gone bad. Then I noticed that the bottle of normal milk actually had gone bad. I ran to the supermarket to get new milk and cleaned the whole fridge, since I'd have to open it when reaching for the milk to go with the coffee. I accidentally bought a "sporty" deodorant that made me smell like an alpha male. I wondered what socks to wear and what kind of background music (if any) would make me seem more in control of my life. I couldn't decide whether or not there should be a bottle of wine in the fridge and in the end placed two cans of cider there and hid the wine. Made coffee and waited. Realized I'd gotten the time wrong, listened to music, waited and worried about not hearing the door bell because of the music. Walked up and down and up and down. Reheated the coffee. Opened the windows and closed them, turned the heating on and off. Reheated the coffee again... Finally my social worker arrived and only wanted a glass of water. I told her to leave her shoes on if she wanted and offered her a pair of slippers at the same time, which confused her. We sat on the couch and she kept on asking me if I had any questions but my mind was totally blank so I came up with the worst comments and stories ever, such as, umm questions, yes, like, what if, like, I'm not, but you know, what if I get into minor legal trouble, not that I... by the way, did you see something interesting in my extended criminal record, like that I stole a CD when I was 14? Is that, I mean I wouldn't do that again, but what if... no, forget it, what if I don't get along with the child? Because there are, such as with adults, some children I... no, please forget I said that, but what about getting cold feet?.... Like, yesterday I was on a train and there was this child that kept on talking to me and I pretended to listen to music but I wasn't... so it makes me wonder... In the end she said she had seen me at a music festival a month ago and I just went "Oh nooooo! I'm not usually like that!!!" (assuming she had spotted me in a group of very drunk friends or even smoking weed, when it turned out she had just seen me walking past her and wasn't even sure it was me...) So, I don't know if the home visit went all that well - I'll find out soon I guess :-P

[@ChristaLourens]

One year down the line...how did the visit go?

[@livinglife8333]

How can you properly care for a child's needs when you don't know why they are acting the way they are? That's not fair.

[@davidthibodeaux9350]

Wendy Waeghe listen watch and communicate with the child give them time attention and be there for them what they need is somebody that's going to be there for them it took time and my foster kids all listen to me act right and do as they are asked out of respect I have given them what they needed a person to look up to and now I have there respect good luck and god bless

[@explosivetactics3528]

Wendy Chiari Warrior thats parenting? isnt it? to figure that out? from experience I loved when a parent would just listen, not criticism not instruct, dont educate just a person that just listened, kids will ask when they want help if you just listen.

[@gardenthesis]

Explosive Tactics - It's different for children who were removed from a home. You have no idea what they've been exposed to.

[@AraceliLoveBlog]

Wow, each state is totally different. I'm a Therapeutic foster parent in Florida and we're not required to write daily logs on the children. Reimbursement is not a challenge with the Child Agency here. Not sure how it is where anyone else is, but we receive the medical history of the children, along with a copy of all of their medical appointment forms. We also are filled in with the child's history including any possible alerts such as potential cutter, potential runaway, or if they happen to be aggressive.

[@afosteredlife]

You are so right - it is different in each place. And it also depends on the case manager -- we have had some who have told us everything they knew, others were hyper-sensitive to maintaining boundaries and protecting the family's privacy. In general, I have not had too many issues, but when I do, it's always at the worst time. Thank you for writing and for being a foster parent! And a therapeutic one at that -- that is a very, very special calling. Bless you!

[@AraceliLoveBlog]

Thank you, blessings to you as well! And thank you for your transparency, there definitely needs to be more awareness out there.

[@73000]

@@AraceliLoveBlog hi 💛 my mother and I are considering becoming foster parents here in FL. If possible can you call us and tell us how the pandemic is affecting things?

[@adrienneandcarlie]

love your honesty. You are blessed and favored

[@elizalaguera]

I've always wanted to be a foster mom because my mom helped foster children but I'm scared the kids will hate me

[@afosteredlife]

Kids who are in foster care deal with a lot of emotions, and sometimes it's true that they take out their frustrations on their foster parents. But in my experience, that is not the norm. The kids who have been with us have all responded well to the love and consistency we've shown. Don't let that fear stop you! If you have a heart to offer hospitality to kids who are in transition or who are in crisis, I hope you'll go for it. We need more good foster homes!

[@elizalaguera]

A Fostered Life Thank you so much 😊😊

[@alexbrynna]

Your info is great but the background looks like a murder scene! 😵😵😵😵😵

[@afosteredlife]

LOL I see your point! Thank you! You might be happy to know I have a new background now :) Thanks for watching (and for appreciating the content, if not the visuals :)

[@ILoveWAMU]

😄

[@Thepurpleful]

I was thinking the same thing! 😂Looks like blood splattered on the wall hahaha

[@papagee1940]

Thank you! I'm 56, my wife is 51 and we have 2 grown children. Becoming a foster parent is something that truly weighs on my heart. Do you think we are age appropriate​?

[@afosteredlife]

ABSOLUTELY. Some of the best foster parents I know are in their 50s and 60s! GO FOR IT!

[@alibentz8692]

I want to let you know that I worked at a pediatric clinic, and some of the best foster parents were in their 50-70’s!

[@mrs.garcia6978]

# 3 is exactly what prevents us from fostering. The systems jerks the kids around like objects and tells foster parents to "not get attached". My heart would be ripped out of my chest if I had to send a child back into a horrible situation or they were just moved for little-to-no reason like we've read about in other blogs. The other huge problem Id have is if the child had sexual or violent tendencies, or possibly had a communicable disease and we weren't told! It's the govt, they screw up constantly, but we've got to protect our 4 little daughters.

[@michellehood3345]

Thank you ..super helpful just to hear another person say it....greetings from Washington DC... I really don't understand why all the secrecy...we get the kiddos and we've gotta just 'figure it out' ....it would relieve many headaches and huge amounts of stress on everyone if we were just brought up to speed...I mean how secret can you be with bio parents business? The kids are in custody, that's huge! Oh and everyone knows but no one- not even the person who has to care for your children can know WHY!!!

[@gloda8677]

Hi, thanks for sharing your videos, I'm going to have a foster caring class pretty soon, I'll be watching your videos so I can learn more how to be a foster parent and in the future adopt a kid

[@afosteredlife]

+Jeannette Urrutia Great to hear it, Jeannette. I hope they are helpful. Good luck!

[@hannahdumphy9157]

I am in foster care I've been in it since I was since I was 6 years old now I am 13

[@afosteredlife]

Wow, Hannah, that's a long time to be in foster care! I hope you are with a family who cares for you and takes good care of you!

[@christinav213]

Thank you for this video so helpful.

[@Bill0102]

Your exposition is praiseworthy; akin to a book that excelled in its subject matter. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

[@mattiadizard7431]

in nj they have to tell u the childs background or the state can be sued

[@proudtuber2114]

Love the child not their drama story behind them

[@loriann3047]

Thank you for this

[@afosteredlife]

My pleasure. I'm glad you found it helpful!

[@nc9940]

they put these young social worker that sometime we have to do there work, I like dealing with older worker. 30 years that I was a foster parent I got stories about workers.

[@thezzach]

I'm 40 years old and my parents were and are terrible. Can I still be adopted? ; )

[@alex73217]

I wanna adopt/ be a foster parent. But I am still a college freshmen so it'll still take some time.

[@afosteredlife]

If you are called to it, the fire in your bones for foster parenting will not go away. Keep learning and, when the time is right, you'll be well-prepared!

[@johncampos4382]

Just wondering... I am 21 and I wanted to know if you can foster adopt me?

[@nfc598]

John Campos no, you must be a minor under 18

[@MaisieMcintyre1]

Hi. I am thinking and researching everything I can find about foster care.. We are very interested in It and I was wondering if youed have some advice?

[@afosteredlife]

+Maisie Mcintyre Hi Maisie, thanks for asking. To be honest, this entire channel is basically my advice on foster care :) So I would say, scroll through the videos and watch the ones that seem most relevant to you! You can start here: kzbin.infovideos?view=0&sort=da&flow=list

[@MaisieMcintyre1]

+A Fostered Life ... thank you very much!

[@lovebug8482]

my husband and I believe we are ready to be foster parents. it seems like it is going to be a difficult road, but I feel like I am "being called" to it. we have an information session scheduled for later this month(just getting started) how long did the process take before you were able to foster a child? ty

[@afosteredlife]

Our licensing took about six months, and we had our first placement exactly two weeks after we were licensed. Best wishes!

[@crankyoldlady5433]

this was a great video

[@Amy1574]

great and thanks

[@14gt1]

So I have a question. Say if that foster child has been infected with aids ... will the foster parent be made aware? or some other kind of illness that can be transferred by blood etc etc because I really hope so as they are requiring me to update my felines shots incase of illness spread from cat to human ..

[@afosteredlife]

Oh, I hear you. 🤦🏻‍♀️Yes, in my experience, they would tell you that *if they were aware themselves.* Alternately, you would find out when you had their physical exam done (probably). The main reason for this is that, if a child has something like HIV+ or AIDS, or any other blood-born disease that required medication or treatment, you would be the one managing it, so you would find out all about it. The thing is, when a child first comes into care, most of their story is a total mystery. So, for many reasons, you might not learn all about their condition or needs right away, not because a social worker intentionally keeps it from you, but because the social worker doesn't know. So the best practice is to use precautions with every child for two reasons: 1) as a precaution and 2) so that you don't single out kids who *do* carry communicable diseases. If you do the same thing with everyone, you're safe and their dignity is in tact.

[@14gt1]

A Fostered Life yes thank you for your reply 🙂

[@ladydede88]

I have class tomorrow to become a foster parent

[@brandybarnett9953]

Speaking of roller coasters, have you read this book. www.amazon.com/gp/kindle/kcp/tos.html?ie=UTF8&asin=B00TGLL01M&ref_=kin_tos_dpstripe_dp It's touching and awesome

[@afosteredlife]

Brandy Barnett no! I haven't read it! I'm reading another book someone recommended recently, "Three Little Words." BUT I will order this one today! Eager to learn more!! Thanks for sharing.

[@brandybarnett9953]

I LOVE Three Little Words. Ashley Rhodes Courter wrote a new book that is supposed to come out in June that I am excited to read

[@RaChElRoBiNsOn1555]

Thanks so much :-)

[@JustCallMeEmily]

Man I hate paperwork but I REALLY want to be a foster mom in the future, any tips on how to get through the first steps of becoming a foster mum?

[@afosteredlife]

Well, if you hate paperwork, you might need to think twice about being a foster parent :) Just kidding. The paperwork is a pain, but it's so worth it. I found that setting a goal for when I would have my initial paperwork for the application completed was helpful. We got the paperwork in May and my goal was to have it submitted in July. We did! I spent a little time on it every dew days. And we were licensed by the end of December. I did a video a while back that you might find helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/e37GiaV_p6qUqtU

[@JustCallMeEmily]

That was super helpful, if I get lucky and have enough money to have everything ready by the time I turn 21(like the house and bedrooms) then I could start the process of becoming a foster mom! But to do so I need to make sure my girlfriend is ok with it when we(potentially) get married, I'm a future thinker I know, but it's or my greater good!

[@derrikamayers5503]

I want to be a froster parents and I want to be a good mom I want 6 kids maybe 7 I want to do fun things but me snd my husband will put our foot down sometimes please give me tips and advice

[@derrikamayers3091]

how will the foster child will react to everyone in the house because i think they will will cry or fight

[@derrikamayers5503]

Hey I am thinking about being a foster parents what to do and the classes snd everything I want to do this when I am stable and get my own house and I want to be a celebrity and do KZbin videos and my husband will do this with me this things that I want my to do it with me that would be a family business I want 5 kids and also adopt a 6 kid maybe 7 I want to be a good mom doing fun things with them but mi will put my foot down sometime and my husband to please give me tips and advice

[@mekkaylaa]

I'm in nursing school and I plan on becoming a foster parent after graduating. As far as health issues if the child has a disease that's contagious they won't tell you about it to protect yourself and the child?

[@afosteredlife]

+meklalovesmakeup in our experience, if there is a known disease or illness, you would be told. However, if there is a possibility of a disease (i.e. if mom is HIV+ but child has not been tested or is too young for a conclusive test), they may not tell you (because it's an invasion of mom's privacy). We were told during training to take precautions, i.e. to wear gloves when changing diapers, just in case there was something we were not informed about, but we opted to skip the gloves and just wash hands after every change (which we would have done anyway!) I think every case is different. In some cases, the case manager may not have all of the info, so he or she couldn't make you aware of certain details.

[@derrikamayers5503]

Hey I subscribed to your channel because I,like you and I want to know more about fostering a children's I want to be a foster parents I want to do foster care to help the kids in a bad situation to help them learn and development I want a bigger house and I want 13 bedrooms I want to be a good foster parents and s good mom I want 6 kids because I come from a big family so I want my own big family please give me tips and advice

[@ramonam8577]

Foster parents need ad litems to protect them.

[@Farmer2492]

10 years foster caring, and friend 16 years foster caring rule one make sure you have a good lawyer at hand we had 2 in permanent care one took off and made up lies about our family 10 thousand dollars later in lawyer fees, and nearly losing our biological daughter but it happens all the time too other carers it's not if its when because it will happen, but your never told that in training all they tell you how beautiful the children are some are a little active all BS that's why they're screaming out for foster carers because people are leaving at a fast rate.just do your homework because its true,and the foster care association have even admitted children have made more allegations 8 years later against carers you are taking a massive risk you will never be free even if you don't do foster caring anymore .

[@arathperez7528]

A good foster parent

[@jenniesmythe8188]

if jimmy starts fires, I should be entitled to that information...

[@afosteredlife]

Jennie Smythe in my experience, you would be given that info.

[@jaypedraza4907]

I’m 16 can you guys adopt me.

[@dasiaquinonez1704]

I'm a foster child

[@afosteredlife]

+dasia quinonez Hi Dasia. Thanks for letting me know you're out there. If you want to share any of your experiences, I'm sure many of the foster parents who watch this channel would love to know what you have to say. What do you wish foster parents knew?

[@dasiaquinonez1704]

thank you

[@rachellehewankorn7027]

Pretty sure my foster mom hates all of these and us 😂

[@afosteredlife]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. You deserve to be LOVED and none of the things we foster parents don't like about being a foster parent are your fault! NONE of this is your fault. You deserve to be loved, cared for, fought for, and cherished. Sending a big hug.

[@rachellehewankorn7027]

Thank you. I hope I get a new replacement soon!

[@ArabellaCharm]

I know this is a year old, but how is your life now? I hope you are happy and healthy.

[@wynnedm1941]

What state do you live in??? Because in Nebraska, I have never heard of some of the things you're talking about. Most of the foster homes here can specifically even request not to have children with certain behavioral issues placed with them, and the state never really reimburses them for anything. My foster mothers also never really wrote up reports on me, and my caseworker was kind of MIA most of the time anyway. I know that from person to person, the situation changes, and maybe the laws have changed since I turned eighteen. These are just the things I remember seeing, and not in the "well you were just a kid, so they probably hid it from you" kind of way. My second foster mom made a huge show of how my case was being handled in front of me ( as a kind of power move, now that I look back on it ), and a lot of the things you mentioned were never something I knew about. Still, five years after the end of my own journey, I want to be a foster parent too. I would love to give a child a chance at having a place that is safe where they can thrive, especially older kids who are just struggling to find a home.

[@afosteredlife]

I'm in Washington! And I'm so glad that you want to be a foster parent. Your experience will make you uniquely able to support the kids who come to you. Bless you on your journey!

[@trinidadianbeauty1]

Is your name Christie ???? If it is, it's also mine too not sure how U spell yours but heeey!!! Lol

[@qurneeteeyasteward4319]

Mom. You. Up

[@kennyjet]

it sounds like the foster parents are working harder for the child's/family's success than the bio parents are.! Stop it..! Why try 2 clean up the mess from other parent's poor decisions! All this drama, criminality, all the judicial bullcrap, secrets from deadbeat parents who shouldn't have had kids in the 1st place.There needs 2 be consequences for poor choices..! Then they remarry & do it again.Gawd.!$@ After bad parents abuse, torture, & neglecte the 1st child, sterilize these bad "parents". I'm serious.! I am so sick of deadbeats.You have more courage than me in this endeavor.!! I just don't get it-.meh..

[@afosteredlife]

I get the frustration you're expressing here. But ultimately, it's about the kids. It's not their fault that they were born into broken circumstances. And we can't just throw up our hands and abandon them to the system. Foster parents have the opportunity to help turn the tide for them, and to offer them a different path than the one they have been handed. It's a wonderful (and hard) opportunity to make a difference for a child. While you're right, in many ways you are dealing with the mess caused by other parents' poor decisions, it's so worth it, when you see a child's future turn a corner, and you find ways to draw out the best in them, which is often hidden under layers of trauma, behavioral problems, and emotional walls. When you can bring a child to a place of feeling safe and secure, their true selves begin to emerge and shine. That is worth all the heartache and frustration.

[@kennyjet]

A Fostered Life I admire human beings with the capacity for unconditional love as you exhibit. Yes, society benefits from the compassion & efforts of the charitable. Yet, I'm not sure there exist verified statistics of the success foster children gain, being in this system. I would speculate a VAST majority of foster kids grow up to repeat their bio parents bad behavior. Yes help the kids, but these parents need a day in court, if proven 2 be harmful people, they need 2 be jailed.! No more county services spent facilitating some pseudo- reunification, just 2 make the adults & govt workers feel good.! Agreed, don't throw kids away..but the constant back-&-forth of a childhood torn from family to court to another family, then back to the dysfunctional bio parents is a cocktail for permanent emotional & mental challenges. Bring back orphanages. High quality ones. Pour $$ into this.! If social workers are actually well-trained & motivated for a child solution, they would be able to make this idea work.! Make these places lovely, a safe, stable & learning place. No more jerking these kids around.

[@connorcraig3800]

Am I loved or am I a way to get money for doing nothing

[@afosteredlife]

If you're in my house, you're loved!

[@reneecammarano6263]

I want to be a foster child.. I want to experience a new family, a new life

[@jaypedraza4907]

Hahha

[@itsvonay8270]

ew u are mean

[@maryallen3259]

back off. these kids were stolen from their families

[@jasperlejaoud5335]

Thats how i felt when i was placed in one

[@afosteredlife]

+Mary Allen I'm sure you have legitimate reasons for your feelings. The system is deeply flawed, and no doubt there are cases that should not result in children being placed in foster care. It's tragic when that happens. I have made friends with people who grew up in foster families where the abuse and/or neglect was worse than it was in their birth families. It's a horrible thing. That said, I will not back off. I've seen and heard too much, and for the kids who DO need to be removed for their own safety, and for moms and dads who need some time to get their lives together while their children are being taken care of elsewhere, I want to help equip folks to be part of that goal. I know plenty of folks who have been on the other side of foster care hate me and hate what I'm doing, and that's your prerogative. I'm doing this for those who are trying to learn more so they can love and care for the kids and be a helpful part of restoring families where possible. I'm sure in your own experience and pain, it's impossible to appreciate that. But it is what it is. The state is not going to stop removing kids from questionable circumstances. I want to help those who will care for those kids do right by them and their families.

[@afosteredlife]

+Jasper Leja I can only imagine. I know it was very hard for our kids as well, and my heart breaks for any child who is plucked from the only family they've ever known, having no say in the matter, and placed with strangers. What a nightmare. That must be the most frustrating, helpless feeling, and I grieve for you. You all are the ones who suffer the most when you are taken into foster care. I wish it never had to happen. I pray you will find healing and wholeness despite the pain you've experienced, and I pray that people will show you kindness along the way.

[@jasperlejaoud5335]

+A Fostered Life at first was really difficult for me. But now i dont even know whats the difference. (I was placed in one when i was six and i'm 14 now)

[@jasperlejaoud5335]

+A Fostered Life and for an unknown reason i don't even want to live with my real parents anymore