5 Questions to Ask at the Start of a New Foster Care Placement

It's 8 or 9 o'clock PM, and a social worker has just shown up at your door with a child (or two, or three, or...), and that child is going to be with you for a while. What should you ask right off the bat?
When we were first licensed, the only thing we were told was, "Never let them leave a child with you without a medical permission form." But the things you need go way beyond medical permissions!
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[@emmayeager5864]

That first story 😭 Our little girl is about to leave our home. I pray so much that if she were to come back in to care someone will make sure we're contacted.

[@afosteredlife]

I pray that too 😔

[@linbron2018]

So, DCFS won’t contact? I always thought that if that happens, most definitely you would get a call, because the child knows you.

[@afosteredlife]

@@linbron2018 you would think so! But sadly, because of the nature of how it works, the CPS social worker, who is called in an emergency, does not necessarily have access to the child's existing file. Also, if a case is over a certain number of months closed, it may not trigger anything in the system. As I understand it, because of confidentiality, it is hard to look up a child's case. This kind of thing happens often, I'm told. It's really sad.

[@jcrocks6698]

Did she come back?

[@neeaforsgren7905]

As a single foster parent in Finland it is very interesting to listen to how things are elsewhere. Our schools are free and mandatory for every citizen. The school system and social services co-operate very well. If a child is not enrolled and attending school, that is a case for cps. If a child is suddenly marked homeless, that is a case for cps and they will get housing straight away for the family. And the cps pays for the taxi to school if needed in care, if I take them I get reimbursed well. Everything works through our social security numbers so we are numbers in a computer only in a way if you think about it. School, cps, hospitals, police... they all can access your main data through that number so if you are taken into care, it goes on the childs number, not the parents so it would not be missed if there had been anything before. Of course sometimes young kids are wondering the streets and taken into emergency care so that they can only say their first name or sthing but that is rare. In a way it makes things smoother to manage and harder to hide problems in families even if they were to move to the other side of the country 1400km away or sthing. The adoption is rare here also. I do long term care so it is until the child is an adult and moves out if they want to move out. Cps would get them a home if they want to move so they won't go on the streets. They have a case worker until they are 23y old to help them in anything they need. If they want to stay, I get paid until they are 23y old. And quite well. If their parents get better, they have visitation or might get kids back after years of showing a good record, working, no drugs etc whatever the solution is for them. We need to keep that option of returning home open so there is no adopting from foster care if the parents are alive. But even as I make a good living doing this, I take the kids in like they are my own. I raise them the same as my biological kids and they are free to stay in my home until I am no more. Many times I seem to help the families in many other ways as well, they all learn new skills. But I think I am the winner here as I love what I do and I learn more about me and the world daily. This gives more than it takes.

[@lingreen5612]

It’s a bummer they didn’t think to rejoin them with the original foster family. That should be an obvious part of the procedure. Good on you for being such an amazing advocate for the kids

[@afosteredlife]

Yes, yet another example of how systems can fail kids. I’m glad for how this one turned out, though!

[@emilyroberts861]

We also ask about how they are with animals because we have animals in our home. We ask about how many visits they have and what the transportation expectation is. We have said no to a placement because the kids had 2 visits with mom and 2 visits with dad each week; it’s great for kids to see their parents, but we couldn’t transport to 4 visits a week.

[@afosteredlife]

Great additions to my list! Thank you for sharing this!

[@KiKiQuiQuiKiKi]

⚠️7:15⚠️Goosebumps!

[@CJ-gp9cn]

Thanks for sharing! Some great advice in there that I will definitely take onboard! 💕

[@michellehood3345]

You Rock! Can you talk about transportation for kiddos with special needs for foster parents that work...I've found school transportation in DC to be a real nightmare...

[@taylorstoner6819]

Hi there! I love your videos and they are super helpful. My family and I are taking on 4 kiddos who are very distant relatives. I was wondering how you go about labels in a family dynamic. They are technically my 4th cousins, 4x removed haha so very distant. But we are struggling to understand what that would make us to them in a home setting. We’ve kind of come to the conclusion that it’s up to them and we can have family labels like mom, dad, sibling, etc or do we just stay on a first name basis? Thank you so muxh

[@joelhowe]

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and experience. This is so valuable for those of us who are only just beginning our journey 💕

[@afosteredlife]

It's my pleasure, Joel. Bless you as you start this journey. Please let me know if you have questions I can help with!

[@katiekopp903]

Thank you! Super helpful!

[@linbron2018]

Great topic

[@afosteredlife]

Thank you so much!

[@djbeats61]

Omg