3 things to know about BPD & Limerence

[@natheaunddiehoppels]

Having an extreme emotional bond to a favorite person is the best and at the same the worst ever. Sometimes it is hell on earth because if this person you're obsessed with is not near to reach out for emotional support your whole world crushes down. One time you feel loved, seen and heard the next you hate that person.

[@ConnorAPX]

Us with BPD call this “Favourite person”. Someone who our entire mood and life relies on

[@Katimorton]

YES!! I should have mentioned that! Thank you so much for mentioning this :) xoxo

[@m.htruth8880]

Idolatry

[@AndreaLikesMusic]

@user-in7mm7wc3z we don’t know your situation, only you do. Get an iud so you don’t have to worry about forgetting pills. And for the love of everything you hold dear- make your OWN decisions. Doctors can’t force you to have children and shouldn’t be pressuring you, especially if you aren’t ready or don’t want them. It doesn’t matter what diagnoses you have, YOU are in charge of your life and YOU make decisions. Remember that.

[@roxywyndham]

Thank you for that because I didnt know what it was as someone who has BPD 😂

[@CLOYO]

Really incoherent question. It doesn't seem to factor in anywhere ​@Amb.CHHolland

[@shafaqtahir5746]

Limerence vs crush needs to be understood first.

[@TamagoEgg]

Totally! The term limerence is currently getting thrown around on the internet similar to narcissist or OCD. However having traits doesn't mean that person is limerent, limerent is often an extreme case(Baby Reindeer for example). The labelling and negative view is giving behavior with no ill-intention a bad name, for example doing something beyond what a person do not receive in their life. This projection often leads to even the healthiest behavior being gaslighted as wrong and could potentially make someone doubt if their effort is actually harmful when there's no one there to guide them.

[@sharonthompson672]

I knew two widows over a few decades who both became obsessed with what I would consider "unattainable guys", think older woman obsessed with a d-level pop star or regional celebrity half, or a third their age. I always wondered if being a lonely widow was a factor, or was it a control issue, because both were assertive and confident, at least outwardly so, and BOTH made elaborate plans to seduce their objects of focus. Intensely disturbing to watch and no matter how you reason with them, nothing you say has any impact on their behavior/focus.

[@hansmeyer7225]

Is there a difference between limerence and having a crush?

[@henryviiifake8244]

What is the difference?

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

Think of limerence as an intense crush x a million

[@abby4027]

I needed this today. Reminding myself that’s it’s involuntary and try at I’m still worthy of relationships.

[@Taobeth]

Limerence in an anxious-avoidant relationship can mimic BPD.

[@Razorhaloforever]

Gotta say it’s hard for me to tell. I have someone who has been in my life for 3 years, and I had a relationship that I botched because of this person. I feel like I am hyper focused and infatuated, like limerence, but I also have a range of BPD symptoms to boot. I feel like this person just amplifies whatever is happening to me. This person does not have the same level of emotions for me, and at times I feel like they really use what I feel to their gain. I find it hard to break free, because I don’t want to lose what I feel, yet breaking away is probably the best thing for me. It’s a real struggle. The one text (Or lack of) can change my day. It’s…a lot. Thanks for your videos, they do help me to try and figure this out.

[@jiblyjably]

Has this happened in other relationships? Because if its just this one, you don't have BPD

[@sharonthompson672]

@@Razorhaloforever Is it possible you're being love bombed?

[@Razorhaloforever]

@@sharonthompson672 that is something worth thinking about. This person has not shown that kind of interest in me, which is why it makes me think about BPD versus limerence. It is certainly an interesting thought that the person could have narc traits, and then love bombing would be in play if they were truly interested in me, but once again have never really been interested in anything more. They may be breadcrumbing me, in that they know they are a limerent object and are leading me on for their benefit.

[@ShadeCandle]

CPTSD can also be very similar, and tangled up in there.

[@WhatsMarlyUpTo]

Thanks for this classification! I was diagnosed with BPD a few years back. I'm very proud of my progress in therapy. Every once in a while I felt like I was regressing but thanks to your video I realize it was likely limerance. I was able to detect your example was limerance right away, having been through this a few times in romantic and platonic friendships. ❤🤗

[@weareone5768]

I am REALLY struggling with this right now. So thank you for posting. Oh my god. 😔

[@sharonthompson672]

I have to scroll through past videos, as you may have already addressed the subject, but for the longest time I was convinced I was neurodivergent/on the autism spectrum, but have since learned my behavior and reactions are due to childhood abuse and neglect and anxiety, cptsd and depression. Can you explore the similarities and differences? Thanks very much, this was a great video. 🙂🖐️ Also, to anyone struggling finding a good mental health care specialist, keep. trying. It's so worth the effort. ♥️

[@risha5642]

Wow I'm literally trying to get evaluated to determine the same thing. Really timely o.o Definitely seconding this request!

[@AaBb143-q7h]

I’ll third that request. I rarely comment on anything online but.. My 3 siblings (and all of their offspring) have been diagnosed neurodivergent (asd&adhd a few other diagnoses) I was actually diagnosed adhd around 7 years old but now in my 30’s after having some debilitating struggles for a prolonged period, being told it’s not adhd but that I have BPD and CTPSD..

[@AaBb143-q7h]

I also have struggled with crippling anxiety and bouts of deep, deep depression that were diagnosed at age 13 and I still struggle with to this day.

[@addiehatemachine]

My male teacher is my limerent object, and listening to this helped me a lot. This is one of the hardest times in my life. I remember one of my impulsive actions was emailing him, telling him that he’s the only person that I can be comfortable around, and things like that, and I need to stay in his classroom even after my class time with him is over. He did let me, but when he told me that I have a space there, *or downstairs,* I remember I just told everyone how much I hated him. I’m not the type to put him on a pedestal, I am the one who criticizes everything he does and express hatred for him.

[@extrememinimalistparent]

My limerent is my maths female teacher from 12 years. Still. To this day. It's actually a nightmare now that my mind and heart still can't get over them.

[@trinomial-nomenclature]

When I was slightly younger and had a harder time dealing with my emotions, if I felt like a friend or boyfriend was going to leave me, I would completely panic and I would decide to leave them. Sort of like leaving them so they can't leave me, however, the devastation of losing someone I loved wasn't any less because I left them, I felt like at least I didn't need to deal with the fact that someone I loved rejected and abandoned me, when that happens I obsessively (sometimes for years) try to figure out what I did wrong for them to reject and abandon me. I hope this makes sense.

[@trinomial-nomenclature]

@@gothboschincarnate3931 Thank you.

[@brlyalve]

Couldn't have been better timing.. My ex has BPD and she suddenly left months ago and now the push and pull is going on. It's very challenging to navigate emotionally.

[@MissieLotus]

Thank you for the information you share. This is a very good video. I would love to see a video on overlaps between ADHD, cptsd, and borderline. 💜

[@AndreaLikesMusic]

10:03 This part is SO important! My only feedback is to try to segue this into the middle somewhere so everyone watching would be more likely to see ❤❤❤

[@dsam3]

I think this comparison video is a great way to introduce different issues because there is a reference to each other. Other just issue means no reference and some ppl miss the differences

[@jennysmith1727]

Hi Kati, I found this topic very interesting, and now I’d like to know more about limerence vs. rejection sensitive dysphoria. 😢

[@AndreaLikesMusic]

Limerance can be a coping mechanism as well ❤

[@j.d.aengus]

Would you please share more about your view that limerence can be a coping mechanism? (That's not how my brush with limerence seemed to be.)

[@AndreaLikesMusic]

@@j.d.aengus some people daydream about their person and the fantasy life they could have together as a way to get dopamine and feel connected (even if they aren’t really) and that can help them to feel better.

[@AndreaLikesMusic]

@@gothboschincarnate3931 it’s not like that there. We are totally ourselves, limerance wouldn’t even be a thing ❤️

[@AndreaLikesMusic]

@@gothboschincarnate3931 I’m an energy reader and novice medium.

[@edgybanshee5209]

I have a question that breaks my brain gears: can a limerent object be someone you barely see irl and have zero contact with? (Like a friend of a friend that you meet a couple of times in a year and don't communicate in any other way) Upd: ok, I kinda got the positive answer from the video

[@GwenKu]

Thank you so much for sharing this with me! If it’s possible,please tell me more about the difference between BPD and narcissist personality! ❤

[@BriannaElmore-n7y]

Hey Kati! Could you possibly talk about the difference of limerence and a BPDs FP? I'm having trouble telling the difference. Thank you for all that you do!!

[@jiblyjably]

BPD FP can change, limerence is with one person.

[@BriannaElmore-n7y]

@jiblyjably I don't find that mine change. I've literally only ever had two. And technically my first FP is still my FP, but she left me without warning. If she were to walk back into my life, I would accept her wholeheartedly. (Very complex dynamics in the completely platonic relationship).

[@Billy33753]

Love how limerance is broken down into small chunks

[@hansmeyer7225]

It was BPD... and not "just" ADHD and PTSD with a false BPD diagnosis. Actually it is in fact all of the three combined 🙃 At least I had the chance to learn about how BPD can manifest after she felt the extreme urge to split me black. In fact, BPD symptoms and the impact they can have are variable to such an extent that I would argue BPD is best understood as some kind of spectrum.

[@August-Folklore]

Can you make a video on the difference between cptsd and bpd

[@henryviiifake8244]

Wouldn't the main difference be that BPD can exist in the absebce of trauma, whereas CPTSD may result in someone exhibiting bevaiours that - at times - _may_ look similar to those of people with BPD in response to trauma?

[@hansmeyer7225]

To my understanding, people with BPD have often undergone experiences that led to significant psychological trauma. It is common for individuals with BPD to also receive a diagnosis of CPTSD or another trauma-related condition. However, many people with BPD do not meet all the criteria necessary for a CPTSD diagnosis. It is said that Marsha Linehan did not have a PTSD (or similar) diagnosis. I have heard that some health professionals advocate for categorizing BPD under trauma-related diagnoses rather than personality disorders.

[@mnia]

My therapist said that Cptsd is actually same as Bpd.

[@wrenpalmR]

There is none. BPD needs to be removed from the DSM entirely. It's been very stigmatized in society, misunderstood, and inappropriately named from the beginning.

[@hansmeyer7225]

@@August-Folklore She already did kzbin.info/www/bejne/aZmseJSufLpkadksi=OYiF1VjlE094TDpd

[@desertcrab6331]

Oh my goodness, this is an interesting take on limerence. I know all about limerence, it is not something you want to play with. But I have only looked at it from a CPTSD perspective and not from a BPD perspective. In fact, I don't know much about BPD and find it interesting you mention the root cause (main crux) of it is abandonment issues. Are BPD and CPTSD one in the same and if not, how do you know? I have also come across studies dealing with the outward manifestations of Autism and TBI and find them to be so similar to those of CPTSD. The comparisons were so similar I got extensive testing to be certain. But, I have not considered BPD and want to leave no stone unturned in finding the root cause of my own emotional dysregulation. It appears, to me, that my issues with abandonment and rejection were derived from an extremely abusive and neglected childhood followed by a 4 decade marriage to a very covert narcissist. That being said, what does CPTSD and BPD have in common? Is CPTSD simply a sub category of BPD? These things tend to overlap and it is difficult to see the particulars from the peculiars. Thank you for your videos, they are so informative and thought provoking.

[@MrGreenMakesStuff]

Thank you so much Kati for clarifying the differences, I was wondering which one comes first or leads to which. Limerence reminds me so much of the song 'Heliocentric' by Bluberry (look it up, it's quite good for a band of 16 year olds). "... Well, I thought I saw you looking at my direction But maybe you're just drowning in my affection I fell in love, I fell in love, I fell in love You're driving me crazy But you don't know that I'm there You're driving me crazy But you don't care You don't care I'm not sure if I've got the guts to tell you I'm terrified, I'm terrified, I'm terrified ... "

[@hipnhappenin]

What if that limerent object is no longer is your life? Like, they essentially abandoned you

[@andreasissons7766]

I wish this would be taught in high school and maybe people could make better choices.

[@hansmeyer7225]

I really want to know if limerence is the same as what women with ADHD often describe to me as having a hyperfocus on a person?

[@Anti-Parables]

I experience limerence, but I would never consider that person an "object." I don't like that term. I could lose my bass, an object I love more than any other, and be okay after a few years--not happy, but accepting it. But I could never lose that amazing person in my life and make it out alive. I'm just wondering why that is what the term for it is?

[@Wishpool]

I love your channel, Kati. Thank you! A counselor 20 yrs ago suggested I might have BPD. Some attributes fit, but many don't, so I'm still not sure. I def feel Limerence sometimes, but moreso with guys I was seriously involved with for awhile. Others, I could care less. My sadness/love quickly turns to anger/hate if I was betrayed, so maybe BPD?

[@nutters34]

Hi Katie love your channel. Would you consider doing a video on OCD (with predominantly mental compulsions) VS GAD? As a clinician myself I find myself often getting tripped up in discerning one from the other

[@marcdraco2189]

I've definitely got BPD and I've definitely experience limerence. It's horrific - and I expect people around me have suffered directly as a result of such a late diagnosis. It should have been picked up when I was a kid but no....

[@abardicfox7367]

I'd love a look at avoidant attachment vs Self-abandonment vs Codependancy

[@faowin9112]

Sorry if I misunderstood, but I felt unclear if the overlap between the two could also mean having both is possible. Are these two exclusive or is it possible to have both at the same time?

[@debtalan6255]

All this could just be HAVING a CRUSH, yes? Not pathological. Disconcerting, consuming, yes. But disordered? I dunno. I guess, like alcohol use vs alcoholism, it would depend on how much it gets in the way of you living your life and fully being present for it. 🤔 I love the topics you explore here, Kati. Keep it up, however feels right to you. All fuel for BIG human conversation.❤

[@anna-katehowell9852]

Can limerence be platonic? Or maybe a (potential) mom/dad figure?

[@elinorawestfall]

I wondered this too, as I think I did this as a child/teenager, with David Bowie and Julie Andrews as "chosen parental figures", who I was completely obsessed with and adored.

[@mothercoyote351]

Bipolar disorder & BPD overlap as well

[@badatlettingo]

some info on distinguishing health anxiety and ocd would be extremely helpful most days i can't tell if it's my anxiety or intuition and if i don't trust myself and my body how could i trust doctors and advocate for myself 😔

[@bellofsolace]

I feel like what i'm feeling is really limerence. Mostly because at first I thought it was a crush but the fact that idk this person and only knew them via their game avatar yet he's always the one on my mind is making me really think its beyond crush. I ruined my sleep schedule just to try and catch him online, I sometimes choose not to go to school because I stayed up late hanging out with him in game. And when he found out about my "crush" on him, he'd usually flirt with me but ik he's just playing and yet I feel like the happiest when it happens. I always crave for that same feeling but when he didn't do those things, I feel quite empty.

[@kikistone7348]

Would you mind sharing the citations of the research you’re citing?

[@Katimorton]

Of course! I am not sure which research articles you want to look into, but here are the ones I used for this video: www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1361535/full & link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4612-5044-9_8

[@StephanieDineley]

The older I get the more I realize I REALLY do have BPD (Quiet Type). My husband has been "my person" for 17 years....his mood and behaviors affect me to my core. Just this weekend, after 3 solid weeks of good days, he did something that made me feel 100% rejected and I've been derailed all weekend. I feel worthless, fat, ugly, unwanted...and no matter how much I talk about what he did hurts me every time, I give in and do everything I can to get things back to how they were....same cycle, time after time. This weekend was SO painful/uncomfortable, I just wanted it to stop even if that meant I forgive and forget again. Probably my fault anyway, right? I mean, he's absolutely perfect and I'm the messed up recovering addict who ruins everything. I'm not worthy of him so I shouldn't rock the boat. Everytime I try to share how I feel, he makes me feel like I'm overthinking/overreacting/misunderstanding (whether its intentional or not). I hate this cycle but have no idea how to makenit stop.

[@charitysmith5245]

Story of my life! Married 30+ yrs menapause really amped it up too...

[@seaofflowers.]

Is it limerence or bpd if all the symptoms are experienced, except for thinking the person is perfect? Like i know this guy isn't perfect, he def has flaws. I know there's never a definite answer... but the perfect part always trips me up, cus i don't find anyone perfect, i know that's impossible. But i have bpd and i thought I was getting limerent over one certain guy practically every single time I'm interested in a specific dude. But I guess it's just the BPD... It's ruining my life, has been for the majority of it. (I'm 31, female). It's so bad I'm actually considering moving out of a huge city to a small town, quit my work in the film industry, & find some undemanding job, and avoiding men altogether, as much as possible. I'm around too many people, and when the obsession hits it's always out of nowhere and too consuming. I'm so tired of my brain doing this sh.t lol... Sorry to vent.. having a really down day.

[@camiscreatures]

I really appreciate your videos, thank you for taking time to clarify and define these things more😁 I saw someone else commented about if you could make a video comparing the similarities of BPD to being Neurodivergent and/or on the spectrum, and I’m also very curious about this topic. I’m positive I’ve been misdiagnosed at my first evaluation because they sent me the wrong documents the first time. My diagnostic impression (basically doctors notes) said BPD and some other things that kind of lined up. But the actual results once I got them said ADHD, something like avoidant personality disorder, and to go get tested for autism. The office gave me the diagnostic impression instead of my official assessment and results so I technically was being treated for BPD and felt so bad on the 5 medications they put me on the first year I started treatment so I stopped them after speaking to my past doctor. And now taking any medication freaks me out. I didn’t find out that I was given the wrong paperwork until 2 years after my initial testing (so this year). I go get re-tested at a different office and they say that it can’t be ADHD and Autism because I make too good of eye contact in our 10 minute consultation Zoom call. They slapped me with an “official” BPD diagnosis but I’m convinced that this office had some bias and just gave me results based off the past psychological testing forms I sent them in my initial consultation. It’s been a big mess and by now I can’t emotionally regulate to save my life. On top of sensory issues, eating problems, and lifestyle difficulties I do feel as if I’m ADHD and on the spectrum. Both things run in my family on both sides and I didn’t see traditional doctors for most of my life and now feel like anything that could have been caught early and treated is even more messed up now. I worry that I didn’t actually have BPD during my first testing process but that the symptoms continued to develop over the last few years as I feel crazier trying to receive care when I can’t diagnose myself and any doctor seems to expect me to know what my issues are down to a science. So it’s been incredibly confusing and upsetting just leading to more of these unstable, quick, mood swings. I’m also a woman and I fear PMDD is another factor so I genuinely can’t understand how I’m 22 but I feel like I could slap 10 of these labels on myself because it’s basically up to me to make the best guess for my treatment. My doctors don’t seem to have a recommendation besides medication. And antidepressants just give me a constant feeling of a panic attack so I don’t take them because it’s too much. I’m hypersensitive to pretty much anything that would give me a reaction. It’s been a rough few years and I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I don’t have an answer and I might not actually get that closure until I can afford to throw money at specialists. But even then I worry that I’m biased myself and in-denial about what is wrong. The healthcare system has gaslit me into thinking I’m making a lot of things up when I’m not, people just don’t seem to take me seriously. It’s an unfortunate pattern throughout my life. Gosh I feel like a broken record because I’ve repeated this story a lot but it still confuses me and pretty much anyone who hears it. Basically I hope no one else has dealt with this kind of experience, but if you have then I truly sympathize. I constantly wish I could be diagnosed and given a rule book about how my conditions work but I know that’s not the case, I would love for things to line up with how my perfectionist brain thinks the world should be. I hope others are doing well and I appreciate if someone took the time to read this because I feel a bit weird commenting but I think about my situation 24/7 and my brain never seems to turn off

[@Lyrielonwind]

BPD is the box where people are placed when their systoms don't fit exactly into any other category.

[@camiscreatures]

@@Lyrielonwind gosh I’ve noticed it and it’s unfortunate. I’ve been learning the hard way how these things actually work out with state insurance

[@kathryndrew5618]

it sounds hard. i have experience in my own health of not really knowing what's what and so many different diagnoses, and it is really tiring and kinda creates more mental unwellness - i just wanna say i read your comment and I hear you.

[@camiscreatures]

@@kathryndrew5618 I appreciate that, I’m sorry you’ve had a similar experience. I relate to feeling more confused, and almost disoriented by how I still have more questions than answers. One of the hardest things is trying to stop intellectualizing how I feel when I’m causing issues for others that I’m not trying to cause🤷🏻‍♀️

[@kathryndrew5618]

@@camiscreatures yes so hard! But really important, to honour and acknowledge and validate your own feelings even when no-one else can. People around you might struggle or suffer and that is fine and also difficult, but you are likely suffering a great deal more, and like you said you are not wishing to cause any harm. There are soooo many layers to all of this, it can be exhausting just existing!

[@amydungan6134]

I'd like to know some coping skills. I have both been like this with someone for 13 years.

[@SuperAtlantis1]

Is limerence when a teen get a crush on a teacher?

[@notme123]

Is limerance the same thing as obsession?

[@localdiaa]

is it possible to have both?

[@ruthie_chie]

I have limerence and BPD 😞

[@KrayaFcknRiver]

I’m experience limerence when starting a relationship, I forget all other people and focus only on the new person… but then abandonment fears and other borderline thoughts and beliefs set in and that makes them run or worse hurt me by physical violence, sexual violence, or mental and emotional abuse… that turns my thoughts about myself into overdrive and I get super depressed and s/u and want to s/h

[@fcmiller3]

Is there a condition called “emotional addiction”? Is it part of limerence or BPD or neither?

[@avosquirrel231]

I would like to see BPD vs bipolar with psychotic features vs schizoaffective bipolar type

[@ArachnidsGr1p]

Im thinking of how i can suddenly get really angry at my partner, despite logically it not being their fault, so maybe anger spells with bpd?

[@vt6spd]

What if you were dating your limerent object for 2 years? But I randomly broke up because the emotional roller coaster was so hard to deal with for me. I was all over...was it love? 😢 Or am I a personality disorder type now?

[@juliaskagfjord6207]

the pathological manifestation of limerence is when you do not know the person deeply or well and the 0bssessive thinking about them becomes so large it fills your world. Limerence is normal when you fall in love in the begining stages of dating. Sounds like you do not have limerence

[@kristakemp2658]

Can you do bpd vs love so that way us bpd people can tell if were actually in love or not?

[@freepancakessss]

Is it possible to periodically feel limerence for someone and also be bpd

[@StarGouldKA]

I do think life can be real f*cked up remembering how in my elementary years being 'punched around' by boys & ignored by girls was like de facto norm for me while growing up in Korea. ..While we got figures like Buddah G somewhere in the neighborhood AS OF THIS MOMENT while the figure (now) himself couldn't have known better about child trauma stuffs as I figure. I wouldn't have developed those nasty tendencies myself and become the absurdist stalker I've ever known myself if I didn't have those incidents happen to me. ...Like I didn't even know how American kids start working so early while I still got employment issues 10 years after. Life sucks

[@collegeman1988]

I think a better word for limerence is infatuation. Strong feelings of infatuation are like a drug that influences our whole mood and perception of the world around us.

[@TianaBarker]

I feel a limerence for the man I was first intimate with and it’s really been effecting me so badly and I don’t know how to make it stop effecting me so badly

[@catherines_castle]

I saw the title and thought it was a new medication for BPD 😅

[@kathrinjohnson2582]

Do a video on other things that cause limerence that are not bpd.

[@elenameza1712]

To be diagnosed with BPD should it be with a psychiatrist?

[@dsam3]

Spoke to me....3.5 yra still hv not gotten this girl out of my mind. I thought it was crush but later learned its limerance. And I don't her well, hvnt had an opportunity to humanise her. I dont think of her sexually but I think of her every other day. I think she is perfect, peerless.

[@Sparkle_Pony]

Is Kati diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder? She uses a lot of "Our. Us. & We"

[@RosheenQuynh]

I'm curious about BPD vs insecure attachment style

[@sashabrown1732]

BPD is always caused by NPD and/or ASPD mental and emotional abuse at some point in life or constantly throughout life. Worth SAFELY analysing whether you have any of those abusers around you if you are questioning BPD and the limerence that comes with it ❤

[@katiethatcher2909]

It’s a shame when people who have NEVER been honest when it counts can now use afflictions that are real for some as a good excuse for bad behavior….

[@ThomasMuethingDotCom]

Limerence is a normal emotional state that everybody who has fallen in love/had a crush has experienced. BPD is a personality disorder. The idealization/fave person aspect of BPD is not the same thing as an emotional state. Emotional states that are normal, which limerence is, have boundaries; personality disorders, by their definition in the dimensional system in the DSM-5/5-TR, feature pathological, persistent and pervasive boundary problems both with the patient's concept of self (introject in psychoanalytic theory) and the patient's concept of others (i.e., interpersonal relationships). I get that you are a content creator and BPD is a hot topic for every MH professional to hop on the soapbox on, but your content that pathologizes normal emotions or aspects of human life, as well as some of your opinions on transference/countertransference, really concern me from a clinical perspective. I think you are well meaning, but your opinions around countertransference in a previous video alarm me. With that said, your content on eating disorders is invaluable. Wishing you the best and thank you for your work. Have a nice day, Kati.

[@kathymcgirt8944]

Ah, she isn’t pathologizing limerence. She’s describing a normal feeling. Like anger. Then she’s describing what happens when a pathology (BPD) interacts with a normal feeling (limerence) to create a toxic episode (obsession). That’s a pretty common trait of mental illness - normal things look and feel abnormal to both the sufferer and everyone around them. See a butterfly. Smile? Normal. Scream, grab a gun and start shooting at it? Phobia, psychopathy, or other mental illness.

[@emily5902]

I agree. My sense is she’s an expert who has seen many clients with BPD. What might feel like stronger boundaries than what some folks need may be appropriate in other situations. I appreciate her candor and thoughtfulness.

[@ThomasMuethingDotCom]

@@kathymcgirt8944 That does make more sense; I guess I read too much into it.

[@ThomasMuethingDotCom]

@@emily5902 She's an experienced mid-level provider. I don't know the statistics of her patient population, but she is an eating-disorder specialist, and EDs are often comorbid with BPD. I appreciate her clinical perspectives; I don't agree with her on certain aspects/dynamics of psychotherapy, nor do I agree with the construct of categorical personality disorders generally, such as borderline personality disorder. Historically, personality disorders have been used to pathologize "difficult" women. Of all 10 personality disorder's, I would say BPD is probably the clearest clinical syndrome of all 10, followed by maybe antisocial and schizotypal personality disorders (the latter moreso - it is also a schizophrenia spectrum illness). It's interesting to me that you haven't replied directly to me, Kati. I am generally a fan of your work around eating disorders and the holistic approach you take to their treatment, even if I disagree with you on applications of psychoanalytic theory at times. Have a great weekend. Thanks for all you do.

[@emily5902]

@@ThomasMuethingDotCom I think we may have similar views of many of the things you are describing, and I've found her work to encompass them as well. Perhaps, I'm projecting my own experiences onto the content. I don't have direct experience with this particular challenge in my family of origin, so I may be off here as well.

[@MystearicaClaws]

How do we stop?

[@OAlem]

It's not overlapping, it's a symptom.

[@TravelBug189]

My limerant object has BPD

[@ParticleLarry]

I don't think I can have limerence , I'm not Irish

[@jc8258]

I don't use the term "mental illness." I use the term "mental health condition."

[@mommyunderfire6808]

So, in other words, limerance is being in love??

[@taniag3481]

Does it really matter? All the labels are just confusing...

[@lauranye4538]

Bottom line: it is just toxic behavior.

[@oceanluvngal]

Beyond confusing.

[@A_Me_Amy]

I am who I want to be, and all of this stuff is only mind control

[@katiethatcher2909]

Wow..are you for real? Bullshit the public, but you can’t bullshit with people who really know you.

[@moderngoblin]

Such obsession with labels. Not helpful

[@tomlewis4748]

Why, it's Boston Police Department! Of Course it is! 🤡 I really would be much more likely to watch these videos if you'd just smile once in a while. So would everyone else. I'd bet you have a nice one.

[@terrycraig6386]

This is not something to joke about.😮 Also this is serious topic,she'll smile when it's a lighter subject.

[@tomlewis4748]

@@terrycraig6386 I won't tolerate being lectured by motards. So stuff it. Right now. My comment was serious, and not designed to be 'lighter'. It's obvious all these things are serious to this person and my heart goes out to her and people like her. Never to people like you, who can neither take, nor even recognize when something is not a joke.

[@NONCOPYRIGHTMUSICNEW]

This is my insta there is the proof 😢