3 ways women try to make her man "better" but NEVER work

[@clatoris69]

19 years ago my ex gf raised her voice to me,in a restaurant, in a condescending manner. Before I let it go on too long, I told her that if she continued this behavior any longer, that I would walk out the door and leave her alone there. That lasted about 30 seconds. When I left to walk home, I had never seen her so angry. I've been single ever since, voluntarily.

[@mdredheadguy1979]

Good for you, sticking to your guns like that!

[@mackthisarrowhearth295]

​@aeoneditingserviceWow, wow, do not attack all women, aight?

[@YooperHatesOhioState]

She did it to herself

[@jylp4u]

🤣😂🤣👏👏👏

[@user-ud7ce6gn3n]

​@@mackthisarrowhearth295you're right that overgeneralise like that is counterproductive - (long read bellow) it's just that it's a trauma response after one too many hurtful experiences. It's not that there aren't worthy girls (or better say worthy people, because the struggle is universal for both sexes) - it's just that after getting burnt enough finding a worthy one doesn't seem to be a probable thing. Especially when hope isn't a lot to begin with and on top of that getting bombarded by things like #RobHim and #KillAllMen to which there is no shortage of. Not that identifying with a perpetrator isn't useful - one can avoid damaging behaviours only by willingfully understanding how one oneself can do all the horrible things of one own volition. Two main problems with are that it's traumatising to get to know how oneself is capable of horrible things without purposefully doing horrible things for the sake of doing horrible things (and people tend to run away from traumatising experiences for a reason) and even more traumatising to get to know that is capable of horrible things just for sake of doing horrible things; and there's little to no evidence that one can willingfully get to know any of that by means of external motivation, because "screw that and screw you" is the most logical response when confronting a realisation as demanding and horrible as that while being limited in mental resources (which is pretty much all of the cases unless a person physically has no sensitivity, which isn't always a good thing since it makes empathy unlikely, because it isn't obvious how one can both feel what other person feel and don't feel anything in the same time) and the only right response when facing something as demanding and horrible as that while having no or less than none mental resources (which is to say all of the instances of being traumatised (because being traumatised by default implies facing something bigger than oneself) just not to actually go and try to destroy yourself, so it's not obvious how people can do that outside of own intrinsic motivation and even less obvious (which is to say less than none) how one can do that of own accord from one's own intrinsic motivation, because, if it's coming from someone else, that someone else can at least try to shame one into doing something even though it's counterproductive, damaging and produces results opposite from desired ones, but at least it's there, and on the side of intrinsic motivation the best is there is vague and extremely demanding "I can do better" which is in itself hard to use for prolonged periods of time and on top of that there have to be mental resources as willingness to try and proceed through failure, energy to actually do something instead of just talking about it, willingness to bet that oneself won't make things worse by interfering, and hope it's worth it to begin with to get things started in the first place, and on top of that willingness to do the right thing no matter the peer pressure, active intrinsic and extrinsic sabotage, and absence of appreciation and gratitude from anyone. And on top of that, to actually get things done, one has not only to have mental resources, but also mental instruments to understand what has happened, what actually caused it, what had nothing to do with it, what has to be payed attention to, what has to be ignored, what has to be done, what has to be not done, what undesired consequences might be there, how one can improve things instead of making things worse, how one can improve things instead of making things worse with pressure of having to start being in the wrong, how one will deal with undesired consequences, how one will deal with unpredictable undesired consequences, how getting things worse could be in someone's interest, how one can stop that someone's and one's own sabotage of things needed to be done, how to deal with one's shame of already present failure and possible failure to come; and that all is nested in the intrinsic " *I* can do better " and not extrinsic " *you* can do better ", because " *you* can do better " in itself implies that one has to fight for one's right to still be included in the society and that's on top of everything nested in the " *I* can do better ", not to mention the weaponisation of " *you* can do better " from an instrument of self-improvement into an instrument of guilt-tripping manipulation because of which " *you* do better " has to be depersonalised into " *things* can be better ". And even that won't be met without anything but resistance to what person trying to point out, if one won't be sure that what is trying to point out is coming from place of trying to help and not to patronise or, even worse, to manipulate into person's hidden evil schemas, so the person has not only to convince one that what is said is worthwhile and not harmful, but also to show that the person can understand one and one's situation by being showing person's own vulnerability of being prone to same or similar fallacies, having suffered same or similar failure because of such fallacies, and have either overcome it, or found a way to overcome it, and all that has to be done with mutual respect to overcome both the fallacies of insufficient formulation of what is person trying to say, and natural corruptive tendency to degenerate the argument into straight insults (it's hard, if possible at all, that just spitting gross overgeneralisation like YesAllMen / YesAllWomen to insult one personally is way easier and faster than actually trying to connect and understand, let alone actually trying to get things somewhere)

[@TheKyrix82]

Here is THE key to men. This is nearly universal: Be nice to them. Seriously. That's it. Compliments, gratitude. A lot of us are utterly starved for positive feedback, we're like stray animals. Feed us and we'll love you forever. Except in this case, the 'food' is just...being nice.

[@joshu9444]

i will happily accept actual food

[@davidgantz9378]

@@joshu9444 if a woman gives me real food and it's not poisoned, she might actually like me.

[@brandonrautio1000]

You're absolutely right.

[@vanmoody]

Most of the time we guys are treated pretty horribly by others. And we got used to it so we get a thick skin. There was a story some time back where a female transitioned to male and was treated like a man for a year. She committed suicide because she couldn't handle the disrespect and the abrasiveness of how men and women treat men.

[@stefanoandreani2562]

As a Man I Say: men are simple creatures, not stupid! Bacterias are simple but they are on this Planet way before than us. Does that make them stupid of course not! Women try to be clear with your men, Say the things you want them to Say, ask the things you want them to do. Do NOT Say "read between the Lines" when the Lines you show are invisibile to us. Men are simple, not stupid, not senseless (most of us I'd Say)

[@markanton2349]

This applies to many facets of the marriage or relationship, I call it: "holding love hostage". This is the most putrifying thing that any woman can do and I personally have dropped women like a dead fish because of this action.

[@beku2283]

Wow! What a great way to treat someone! He doesn't need to be respected, appreciated or loved. That's not what relationships are about anyway. WTF gets into these womens minds?!

[@asolaris6470]

👏

[@mackthisarrowhearth295]

Well said, and the result long-term matches, either "love" dies or it gets Stockholm syndrome (obsessive love/trauma bond)

[@mymainmancave84]

Ditto. Holding love hostage was a good way to put it.

[@532bluepeter1]

If your partner is doing laundry before 'alone time' you have failed at foreplay and seduction.

[@thequietman5934]

Women "I treat you like shit to inspire you to be a better man" Men "I treat you like an ex because that helps me be a better man"

[@midnight347]

It's just a bs excuse to treat someone like shit and not have to be a good partner. Fuck that.

[@unklekurlu]

Spot on

[@jaidev777]

Women: "You are worthless! Where's your dignity?! You have no self-respect!" Men: "You're right. I should learn self-respect and reclaim my human dignity. I'm leaving you."

[@CFurnace-72]

Happened and broke everything and dissolved .

[@rgn87654]

Better man=Man I can show off to my friends.

[@arturoescorcia]

If your spouse is shaming either publicly or behind your back she is showing you disrespect. And no, disrespect is not a motivator to change or improve, disrespect breeds resentment and anger. Angry men will never do what you want or expect, they will do what pisses you off most.

[@brummbear7085]

My mom in a nutshell . Call me prude but as a 9 year old i didn't need to know how short my dad lasts in bed and bad news mom if dad is like me thats his "I just want it done and over " speed.

[@PeopleHaveNoGender]

Men need respect more than they need love. A man would rather be with a woman that respects but does not love him, than with a woman that loves but does not respect him.

[@josephblunt5987]

Well said, my good man. 👍

[@larrydrozd2740]

Had a girlfriend do this: My mom was bragging about me to her lady friends and my girlfriend tried to step in and correct her and say I really wasn't as "great" as she makes me out to be because..... Thats as far as she got when my mom went off on her. Of course it was all my mom being "crazy" because she "never said anything that they accused her of....". She never got it. The question my mom kept asking is, "Do you actually like my son?". She was asking that because why would someone do that to someone they like or respect? Thats YOUR man and thats how you treat him? Yep, she was having none of it. I think to this day that girl still has no clue.

[@steve390gold]

Good for your mom man!!! Sounds like your ex will never "get it." You are supposed to have your spouses back 110% at all times.

[@jayoballes3547]

I think we all love your mom at this point?

[@legiontepes3474]

Did you dump her?

[@YooperHatesOhioState]

That’s a prime example of why I understand why moms are very protective of their sons when a woman comes into their life

[@ronmexico5908]

That lady will do the same to her son

[@brooksroth345]

I've run into women who believe praising a man is degrading.

[@derfalschejunge]

But God forbid people would withdraw attention or compliments from them, I guess.

[@jasondyrkacz8270]

Who is the praise degrading?

[@jus4000kicks]

Then I suppose praising a woman is also degrading, right? See it doesn't make any sense. I suppose the idea is that the guy should be 100% confident and basically a god on earth perfect therefore he needs no praise. And yet even a god among men would like to hear some sort of gratitude, praise, and worship if he's managing to do everything really well. Its almost like men care what the women in their life thinks... unless she is a spoiled brat who always expects everything to be done for her just because shes some sort of queen or princess. The foolishness and stupidity of some women is truly amazing.

[@TrekBeatTK]

As a man, I do find it patronizing depending on how it is expressed. I hate the word “appreciate”.

[@jus4000kicks]

@@TrekBeatTK huh? Appreciation is patronizing? How?

[@michaelhgravesjr9608]

And then there is number 4: using the threat of breaking up as an attempt to make me kow-tow. That was priceless. One time, an ex pulled that in the middle of an argument, saying "maybe I should break up with you, then!" I responded by saying, "Damn right, you should." This set her back on her heels. She followed up with "I'm talking about me leaving you," to which I replied, "I know." Started packing her stuff for her. She broke down crying; for some reason she didn't get that by making that specific threat, she'd not only cheapened our whole relationship irremediably, but also made herself completely dispensable to me by proving to me that I was completely dispensable to her.

[@jacquelynhoagland3371]

I had a guy who did that to me when we had a disagreement. When I packed up my things and left, heartbroken, he couldn't understand why I stopped contacting him. That caused me some anxiety in my subsequent relationship now. When upset him once, I asked if he wanted me to come gather my things. He said, "Don't be silly. I love you." So, when someone does it, it's abusive whether you're male or female. It's just not cool!

[@michaelhgravesjr9608]

@@jacquelynhoagland3371 I am very sorry you went through this too, and am glad that you seem to have found a better situation for yourself.

[@jacquelynhoagland3371]

@@michaelhgravesjr9608 you know, maybe if more men and women followed your lead, maybe that rouse would go the way of the dinosaurs.

[@forrestoverin9462]

I never minded working hard for a relationship. I EXPECTED to work hard. But when that work (1) isn't acknowledged/appreciated, or (2) it's considered NOT ENOUGH. I asked myself why I was working SO hard, when it didn't please her. When this, in turn, leads to the withholding of affection, it communicates the message that affection is transactional. "Do what I say, or you get no love!" That's GROSS and demeaning. .

[@TheSoulCrisis]

Yep don't put conditions on love like that!

[@davidgantz9378]

Generally speaking > women do NOT give appreciation. You can do most expensive restaurants for her, matters not, it's as if you did McD's drive thru. You can give her thousands to help with her college class fee or broken car mechanic bill > means nothing, they are wired to TAKE from us and EXPECT us to provide & give. It is NOT worth spending anything on a woman more than the extreme minimum. One girl wanted me to take her to $400 restaurant, I didn't and instead did fast food drive thru only > to protect MYSELF from her using me as a spending machine. You can do WORK for them or pay their way, they do not care, our blood sweat and tears mean nothing to them

[@oliverschroder3944]

invest in assets like etfs, stock, crypto or real estate and not liabilities like salty women

[@Fern635]

My guy actually resents praise from anybody else (boss, coworkers, etc) but praise from me is like oxygen for him. I am acutely aware that my opinion is the only one that matters to him, and I wield that power with all the care and delicacy that it deserves. I can't imagine weaponizing that against him.

[@mrwess1927]

Its because he loves you!

[@chaoslegend953]

Absolutely correct. Withholding anything to a guy is more of a punishment than encouraging. We feel as though we are getting punished and pushed away for doing the right thing. The affection part should be default in any relationship. There should not be “needs met” for things to happen or excuses for it not to happen. You’re so accurate

[@izicwindsor7987]

Couldn't agree more

[@craterous]

Grandmothers/mothers in a nuclear family used to pass down this common sense to daughters. Now, we have women playing it by ear with their emotional instinct, and their instincts are by default on the wrong...."settings."

[@vk1pe]

Let your man be his best 'try', and do not belittle.

[@rushfan9thcmd]

Well, not so much a punishment but it pulls back the curtain to reveal her true nature. If she acts like she doesnt give a damn, hang on, his version is coming. I raised 3 kids on my own, how much laundry can that woman possibly have to whine and moan and complain about laundry of all things? She do laundry once every 2 months. All these actions show that being in love is not in her interest at all. She reveals her true nature. Watch, listen, they give themselves away. If shes going to resort to games, shes doomed. Shell get told how to use the doorknob to open to a world she might be happier in.

[@izicwindsor7987]

@@rushfan9thcmd completely agree

[@DanielTheCanadianOne]

Show gratitude to a man and he'll want to do more for you. Withhold gratitude and demean even just the little things he does, he'll stop wanting to do the little things not mention the big things.

[@NerdlySquared]

Even just for pure selfish self interest, being intentionally stingy with gratitude is the dumbest self sabotage many women seem completely intent on. Many seem to think they are playing 4D chess reverse psychology in some artful way, but it’s a complete unmitigated blunder level misreading of male psychology especially. On the bright side, it makes that kind of ungrateful and even worse, manipulative person, really easy to identify and much, much, much easier to leave.

[@mdredheadguy1979]

YES! This! A thousand times this!

[@Caddyshhack]

This happened to me and when I mentioned showing some gratitude all I got was scorn

[@theeclectic2919]

Like me, he'll just shut down completely and stop doing things for her. At all. Forever. It's not worth it. Being belittled and criticized all the time (in public or private) is NOT a motivator. If I wanted that, I would have married a drill sergeant.

[@jacquelynhoagland3371]

I agree! I try to let my partner know I appreciate all he does for me. It comes back to me 1000 fold! There are some traditional ways that women get to enjoy appreciation from their men, like flowers, candy, a card, my family of turtles (a little token from my man). It seems to me that a little respect and appreciation is the least you guys deserve.

[@waltere.mellin3537]

You described my ex of 32 years to a T. She constantly complained about everything, even when I did as she asked. I took care of all the maintenance around the house. Cutting and splitting firewood for heat. I worked long hours, and often 7 days a week. She had no problem explaining my faults to all of her friends. I also did alot of the cooking too. Intimacy was none existant throughout most of our marriage. But I was blessed with two wonderful children

[@fromgermany271]

I thought I have a copyright on that story 😂

[@danielcharland1374]

I'm 27 and one of the reasons I haven't actively sought out relationships is because I grew up watching my mom put my dad through this sort of thing all the time.

[@scottmiller1300]

​@@danielcharland1374Lesson for parents: never berate your spouse in front of the kids. They understand way more than you think they do.

[@user-wp9jj2qx7y]

Sounds as if you married her and then started getting to know her; wrong way round!

[@jacquelynhoagland3371]

The children were your silver lining on those storm clouds. 😊

[@TwoWolves]

My ex used to mock me in public. What she thought this was going to 'fix' escaped me. I was the breadwinner. I did all of the yard work, did all of the repairs, all the vehicle maintenance, did the laundry (I actually liked doing it as it was a Zen thing for me, relaxed me). She had her own job, she was going to nursing school (which I helped pay for), and once she graduated she filed for divorce. It turns out I was a means to an end. I am going to assume that's one reason she mocked me. She got what she wanted, got half the value of our house, but nothing else. All these years later I'm doing well, own my home outright, and living well. She ended up in rehab (alcoholism), is living in small apartment, and still paying off her school loan.

[@JohnSmith-ys3wc]

Karma for an evil human being

[@Siegdrifa]

Glad that it worked out for you bro.

[@kylemacdougall8355]

You're one of the wisest women I've ever heard. Thank you for doing what you do, and for giving me a little bit more hope for humanity.

[@rex-racer]

This channel makes me want to be more appreciative of my wife. Sure, she doesn’t always thank me for everything-from chores to projects around the house-but videos like this make me realize I don’t always thank her for everything she does either, although I try. We have a good marriage, and we agreed early on to never low-rate what the other one does. We try to split the responsibilities equally (example: she cooks, I clean up the kitchen). Anyway, I agree men do respond differently to a lot of things and it’s good to let women know that, but healthy advice often goes both ways. In that sense, thanks Emily for what you’re doing here, and to all those chiming in in the comments, thanks for sharing your stories.

[@Jim-iq8sx]

Saying thank you for the little things is SOOO appreciated on both sides. Yes it does motivate me. Withholding affection is mean. Affection should flow both ways even when mad. Talking bad is the end of the relationship. We both should always look for ways to help, support, and build up our partners! Thank God that I found a woman who thinks and acts the same as above.

[@hawkeyepierce7035]

My ex wife did two out of these three things. Withheld appreciation and affection. Guess why she’s an ex. And what is this talk of making us a “better man”? When you marry us, you should already love us the way we are. We should already be considered good enough for you. We’re people, not home improvement projects. And that was another thing about my ex. She was always criticising little things, like how I sit or how I eat. And I was supposed to “take it positively.” How was I supposed to do that? She was basically telling me I wasn’t good enough and needed to be “better.” How exactly should that be taken positively? I’m not clay meant for you to “mold” into the shape you want. I’m a human being with his own thoughts and emotions.

[@jylp4u]

Perhaps it was never about you when she said agreed to marry you? Maybe it was about what you could do for her? One way to tell is to simply ask them what they love about you. If they can't articulate what they love about you and just say "everything" there is a good chance that they're using you. You should love and respect yourself enough to not allow such people into your circle. But that's just my opinion...

[@hawkeyepierce7035]

@@jylp4u Oh, she was definitely using me! I found out later she had a boyfriend back in her home country. And she had tried to immigrate here once before without success. I guess she was using me for a green card!

[@Lotusvvc]

Hi Emily. You’ve nailed it here. My ex-wife did all three of these behaviours. I now look for women with what I call “emotional generosity” - they understand that my needs are just as important as theirs and that deliberately not meeting them is not only counter-productive but just mean. I wouldn’t ever deliberately no meet my lady’s needs. I think it is interesting that a lot of women seem to think it is OK to attempt to change their man - I’ve never seen a male friend trying to change his lady. Affirmation is the primary love language of me and most of my male friends - so withholding praise unreasonably is really not the way to go. This speaks to a bigger picture I think - because men chase women, women can get the idea that they are somehow better than their man - and that the women are entitled to try to endlessly get as much as they can out of their man. Every well needs a source of water - otherwise you can’t draw water from it. Some women run the well dry and then wonder why their need for water isn’t being met. As you can tell - this topic has got to me because I’ve been on the receiving end of the behaviours that you describe and have hated it. Peter

[@jacquelynhoagland3371]

You made a good point about trying to change your partner. I know I don't measure up to media and society's ideals of beauty, but I feel blessed to have found a man who appreciates me for who I am. I give the same respect. Do I think he would look better if he trimmed his beard and hair? Sure, but I didn't fall in love with those. I fell in love with him as the man he is.

[@CoreyHammerton]

One of my relationship rules: 3 things that should never have to be asked for: encouragement, support, attention.

[@petecam3949]

The thing about #3 is how women will put out ticktocks complaining about their boyfriends or husbands and it is so cringey because now they are telling the whole world that her husband is a horrible person. It’s disgusting and it’s very disrespectful of him. Could you imagine what would happen if a man did the same thing to his woman? 🍿😳

[@Dreadz1ne5ive]

Eventually it will get to that and what's even worst is you can see it already happening but the clash between men and women because men are tired of being treated how they treated by most women. #2 really hit home for me, I was with a girl who I genuinely loved would do anything for regardless if we were on good terms or bad terms and that's how it should be but if we was on bad terms I was made to feel instantly like I was nobody to her not worth anything and that hurts because it's things I wouldn't do to my significant other. It then got to a point where it felt like I wasn't allowed to be happy unless her happyness was fulfilled long story short she just ended it and I should of noticed that this is where it was heading but hey life goes on, we smile through the pain and thank you to Emily for showing that there are good women out there

[@davidgantz9378]

Where can I find these vids ? I need to be reminded how malicious & sick they've become in America

[@petecam3949]

@@davidgantz9378 they are all over TickTock

[@stevenm.2597]

#2 is so true. A lot of woman expect their man to be a mind reader and then withhold affection if they're not.

[@JohnSmith-ys3wc]

This is easy to solve. They too crave attention so once she goes cold you need to become indifferent and find something to do that leads you to the very least outside of the room if not out of the house completely. When she asks wtf why are you making yourself scarce you tell her that there's no reason for you to be around someone who is actively hating you.

[@firewall_2485]

This is completely true. I remember when somebody said they liked my shirt four years ago, passing by in the hallway, and that was one of the only times in my life that I’ve ever actually felt good about myself. Another good thing give men compliments you have no idea how much it means to us and a man will remember a genuine, random complement for years.

[@legiontepes3474]

In my experience (me and my male friends) withholding praise leads to lazyness. If we are not to be appreciated for our efforts, we'll do less. No praise either but at least we take it more easy. Withholding affection leads to indifference and after a while either break up or cheating. The public shaming I never experienced but if I did, it would be a deal breaker and she'd be single ASAP.

[@stevenchatelain2732]

Usually, all three do the exact opposite of what the woman wants and causes the man to feel like nothing's good enough for her. Therefore, he will only do.the minimum because he feels it's not worth his effort. This.then becomes a downward spiral if she continues her mind games.

[@twoeagledrones]

Gratitude seems hard for women to give. In 43 years, never got any. (She always had the best) My ex would talk bad about me to my kids, yet alone her girlfriends. I never said one negative thing about her to anyone, just the opposite. Then, after 43 years, she dumped me. Not saying I was perfect, but it’s takes 100% from both. Thanks for your channel. Even though I’m living alone, and will continue to do so, I appreciate your distribution of insightful tips for relationships!

[@patricktoland2694]

I have come to believe that lack of appreciation is the default position of most women in a relationship. The only times a women has appreciated what i did for them, it was either my mother , my sisters or my daughter . The least appreciated i have felt was in my 20 year marriage and in any other relationships . These woman are supposed to love you but they cant even say thanks.

[@ImJustMe39]

Sadly, I went through all of these in one 20 year relationship. The worst of it happened after I had to go on disability due to severe chronic depression,anxiety, and mild agoraphobia. She left with no warning, well actually it was more like a last-minute warning in 2015. I've taken the years since to be by myself and heal. I doing better these days, and I'm feeling like I can date again.

[@jacquelynhoagland3371]

I'm so happy you are finding your way out of depression. It can be truly debilitating. After 8 years being a widow, I'm still working on it. The work has been very gratifying. I feel the best I ever have. I wish you all the best.

[@ImJustMe39]

@jacquelynhoagland3371 Thank you for replying to my comment. I'm so sorry for your loss. I still deal with depression and anxiety every day. Some days are good. Some days are not so good. I'm on medication for both, and I will be for the rest of my life. I also have an under active thyroid. I never realized how much that little organ does. With it being under active, the serotonin levels in my brain are low, which causes depression and anxiety. The mild agoraphobia isn't as big of an issue these days. But I'm still waking up every day. I'm still alive and kicking.

[@jacquelynhoagland3371]

@ImJustMe39 I have an under active thyroid too. I guess that explains the depression and anxiety. I hear ya about the good days and bad days, but any day above the sod is a good day.😊

[@ImJustMe39]

@jacquelynhoagland3371 Having an under active thyroid can be a factor in depression and anxiety. My one doctor put it this way. Not everyone with depression has an under active thyroid,but everyone with an under active thyroid has some form of depression. It just so happens my depression is one of the more severe ones. And that's how I live. Any day you wake up and take a breath or any day above ground is a good day.

[@uqs57bju]

Praising someone doesn't make them any less willing to do a job. It actually raises their willingness to do it more. It makes them feel like a part of it and that they make a difference. That in turn raises their productivity as well as wellbeing. This isn't just a relationship advice, it's also a business advice. There is the old way of thinking how a business is run, where a taskmaster is overlooking everything, and only saying when something is wrong. Then there is the new way, where people are in general more trusted and productive. The whole feeling of the place is different. People don't mind doing more then they actually need to, as long as they feel appreciated. I am mainly focusing on productivity because that's what they think will get hurt by praising their partner. That's just proven to be wrong. On top of productivity being at least as good as before, you also raise the wellbeing of the person. One thing is that your workplace doesn't care about this, but your partner. That's another matter entirely. I'd argue that your partner should fundamentally want you to be as happy and try and take your wellbeing into consideration. They are your partner after all.

[@frankmagx]

Went from feeling completely unappreciated in a 10 year marriage to feeling endlessly motivated and loved in my new relationship.

[@theeclectic2919]

We men love to be motivated. Motivation makes us feel alive and ready to do anything! Then women come along and withhold appreciation and wonder why we aren't motivated. Can they really be that stupid?

[@jacquelynhoagland3371]

That is wonderful! You certainly deserve it.

[@josephm6255]

This is spot on. Not only would my ex not compliment me or encourage the things I had accomplished, she would almost always criticize or belittle these successes. And when it came time for chores like laundry or cooking, not only was I supposed to know what and when she expected of me without her ever saying it, on the times that I did she would complain it was not done her way. While it has been 4 years since I left that world of unhappiness, some days while I'm doing my own household chores I can still hear her voice mocking me and telling me how wrong I am doing it. I'm glad it's all in the past now, but it's taking a while to forget the disrespect and hurt.

[@bj2294]

Definitely agree. They don’t understand how far a simple thank you goes to keeping the man happy.

[@RoguePC4U]

This was spot on. It 100% hits on many important points that men find frustrating with women/relationships. 1) Withholding gratitude 2) Withholding affection 3) Publicly disrespecting him All three of these "tactics" will silently enrage me. And have. To a point where, after discussing, I'll dissolve the relationship if the woman refuses to acknowledge or curb these insensitive habits.

[@Roylovesguitars]

I actually had to have a conversation with my wife on multiple occasions about the things I do not being appreciated. I ended up telling her that if she didn't appreciate what I was doing I wouldn't do it anymore then listed out all the things that I only have to do because she is in my life

[@lordhorus01]

If I'm ever able to get into a relationship ever again, I'm going to share many of these videos with the hope that my significant other understands them. The likelihood of me achieving a relationship is really low. I'd need that 1 in a million.

[@harveygalloway3965]

The first two hit home, but the third (I had to stop to comment) was a slap in the face. My wife used to say things about me to the women she worked with, and most of them were not true. I ABSOLUTELY hated calling her at work for anything, and I would NEVER stop by there to see her. She was nurse at a small community hospital. I have gone months without intimacy, and I have never heard a word of appreciation from her. We left our home state in 2006 to pursue a career that led to me being retired now. During this time, she didn't work until the last couple of years. Then she had her money and our money.

[@mooshway2000]

Great positive comment.

[@mdhazeldine]

Really sorry to hear that. I've been in a similar place (although regarding different things). Hopefully you can work things out and improve the situation going forward.

[@Dreadz1ne5ive]

The sad thing is when your actually a good man they will go out of their way to prove to others that your not because the validation from others validates her thoughts and opinions

[@midnight347]

​@@Dreadz1ne5iveit's like they want you to be a pos and when you ain't they make you a pos anyways inside their own mind and to their friends. Wtf is wrong with women

[@germanwulf40]

My wife and I almost never speak badly about one another; it's happened, but the number of times can be counted on one hand. Those times when we have let our anger get that far out of control, those bad words still stayed between us only (we never argue beyond a certain point in public). Furthermore, once we've both calmed down, the whole thing always ends with us in each other's arms, apologizing profusely to one another for the unnecessarily mean things we said.

[@WyoMedic540]

I tolerated this for years then I took a job working overseas for five years until she finally asked me to come home. She finally had to admit she needed me. Since I got back, I don’t tolerate this behavior shutting it down immediately. Now I don’t dread going home after work like I used to.

[@Not_From_Holland]

You were gone for 5 years? You sure she didn't cheat? And did you find someone who loved you overseas?

[@s.g.3898]

Found this with my now ex wife. I came to realize she saw me as a rival and not as a partner. Any time I tried to be better for her, she acted like I was trying to be better than her. Stems from her own insecurities

[@CFurnace-72]

for sure

[@epramberg]

Nailed it on gratitude, affection, and berating us. You are batting 100%.

[@ronlugbill1400]

Many women deliberately destroy the relationship by withholding any praise and constantly criticizing their husband. It ruins the relationship for her and for him. The negativity makes her unhappy plus he feels unappreciated. But women do this to try to maintain power and control in a relationship. Toxic behavior but super common, actually the norm.

[@nathanstice8456]

Wow I think we men need to just quite this marriage thing wholesale. This is so messed up and depressing. Go overseas or be single. No kids do to no marriages means hard reset on all this and maybe that will give the future generations men a chance.

[@darrenskjoelsvold]

So for the withholding gratitude thing, yes you're absolutely right. We don't work that way. I honestly just don't do things if there's no gratitude for it. So if I get thanked for doing the dishes or laundry or whatever, I do it again. If I'm not thanked, then I don't do it again. Honestly I think it's the only reason why I do anything is getting appreciation for doing it. No reward no motivation to do it again.

[@mooshway2000]

Do you always thank your partner for everything they do? If you didn't would it be OK if they stopped doing that task? Good for you if you do, in my familywe try but don't always remember. .

[@darrenskjoelsvold]

@@mooshway2000 when I was married I thanked her for everything she did. Did she thank me for everything? Well I did mention that we were divorced. Appreciation is such a small ask.

[@remc0s]

Same thing goes for parents and children. Only recently did i realize i'm always unmotivated because as from childhood i was always told i was useless and could never do anything right. This caused me to grow up to become a man who won't even bother trying anything new (because if you can't do anything right anyway, why even bother at all?). My ex girlfriends would then always continue this trend, which is why it never worked out.

[@dragi2163]

Absolutely correct, unfortunately. That's the modern life... 'Take it or leave it'

[@amazingfantasy6315]

Make him “better” is code for “How can I try to change him?” FYI it doesn’t work ladies. Men don’t change. It’ll never happen.

[@jarichards99utube]

Hey Emily, Well Said. As we used to say back-in-the-day, your observations are "RIGHT ON"..! 😊 👍 1-How Ironic that some women withhold showing appreciation when that is PRECISELY one of the most common complaints many women have about "Their Man" , that he "doesn't appreciate all I do in the relationship..." Ugh...! 2- Verbally Bashing her male partner in public is NOT just "disrespectful" - it is in fact intentional "Public Shaming" which is a particularly CRUEL & DAMAGING form of MANIPULATION... UGH...!!! 3-Personally, I find it PARTICULARLY OFFENSIVE when women in relationships say they are going to MANIPULATE their male partner with these techniques so that THEY will MAKE HIM into a "Better Man". How arrogant and self serving...! What they really mean is a "Better Man" for THEIR needs, desires and AGENDAS. Treating an adult male as a 'child' to be 'molded' or like a pet to be 'trained' will NEVER have a desirable result with ANY Self-Respecting Adult (Male or female) UGH...!!!!!! I suggest that ALL PEOPLE in relationships dial DOWN the self-serving manipulations & cruelties AND INSTEAD try more KINDNESS & AFFECTION... -StayWellEveryone -70SomethingGuy

[@Infindibulator1]

Absolutely spot on, it hurts when affection or praise is deliberately withheld. It feels like I’m being punished.

[@AnimalMother60]

She does this shit long enough or I realize this is what's going on, I'm gone faster than a fart in the wind. These little games just push away "good" men and make "weak" men more desperate. I definitely got to a point where positive reinforcement has little effect on me, but my girl is amazing and is always so encouraging. Can't tell her it doesn't really have any effect on me, but I definitely appreciate her efforts. She's a keeper and by far my favorite person.

[@jeffbateman3620]

You are correct; positive reinforcement is highly motivational for men when it comes from a spouse or romantic partner. It sounds to me like women are telling on themselves with this behavior. They assume that men will react in they same way as them to the same stimuli.

[@celark]

With all of your videos, for both men and women, it seems a lack of self-awareness, understanding of their own traumas, lack of self-worth which leads to insecurities, and a basic lack of understanding human behaviour leads to many of the issues you raise. Great videos, thank you for making them.

[@mircopaul5259]

I'm sure much of it could be traced back to the effects TV and recently social media have on people, creating completely unrealistic expectations

[@Kash339-c8w]

#3, bashing publicly. Sort of experienced that. My S.O. wanted to hear my secrets so I told her a couple things provided she kept it to herself. I found out later she had called her daughter and told all. When I said something to her about it her response was something to the effect of, I should have known she tells her daughter everything. Solution - I left her.

[@craigraeside5706]

Completely agree. I really appreciate you backing up my insights to my daughter about keeping that solid shared ground where you can agree to disagree, park it until later and re-engage physically and spiritually. As long as it's not a convenient habit, it's a real sign of strength and respect for yourself and each other when you jointly acknowledge the value of perspective. ❤

[@joeporinchak6013]

I agree with everything you said, in my experience with being a man and trying to date, so much focus is put on the wrong things and too much effort that should be going into the relationship is instead spent spreading the shortcomings to people who have no business knowing. I said it the last time I was in a relationship and I'll say it again, when I was dating, I was dating just her not her friends as well so she had no business spreading our private business around, and that ultimately led to the end of what we had, that was late 2011 and I've not had a serious relationship since

[@crackers600]

Your absolutely right. Men need affirmation that we're on the right track by showing appreciation, and respect. We all need encouragement to show up for each other in positive ways. Encouragement does wonders to a soul.

[@pmanha]

for point 1: Don't know about all men, but me, being a man, I have to say that yes, we work that way. It is a matter of letting me know I'm doing the correct thing the right way, or that my partner agrees with the path I am taking (for longer tasks). A "thank you" or a "good job", or better yet, expressing pride over something I do or have done is important. Now, I'm not doing whatever for a pat in the back or to get a "good boy", like a dog would, but to get motivation to CONTINUE doing stuff, whatever it may be. for point 3: public disrespect is one of the worst things to do. That only ensures that the man in question will stop trying and will start walking on eggshells around public, social situations. You do not want that from your man

[@01jvb]

Emily, you are so correct as always. The items you have listed always make things worse rather than better.

[@cmleibenguth]

All 3 are absolutely spot on Gratitude, Affection, and Public Support absolute necessities Withholding the first two or doing public trash talk (or even revealing something embarrassing that he told you in private) are absolutely horrible things to do

[@ConsultColin-fv6rc]

Without these three things and more I wouldn't even consider a woman as a partner

[@tmeyer2022]

I totally agree with you. Actions or witholding like these three examples would become conflicts. Trying to embarrass me in public might become a heated conflict.

[@richardames704]

I am happily married, but love your channel. You have some genuine advice for couples.

[@JOHNNY34A]

100% right on the button. These things you mentioned are all toxic traits and only a toxic person thinks these things are "helpful". I will advise anybody to leave a person like this.

[@jonwilkinson3886]

100% Emily - Especially No1 Male brain works like this: No recognition or praise for ongoing & exceptional effort is interpreted as "I am failing" or even worse "I am a failure" which results in low self esteem and wife or husband leaving. 😪

[@johng9040]

The most truthful thing I've yet heard from a men's advocate, most of you women should be taking advice from this girl

[@brad3072]

A relationship is about helping another human being (your partner) be the best person that they can be. Not the best person you want them to be, the best person that they can be. Anything else is counterproductive. If you don't understand that then you probably shouldn't be/are in a relationship for the wrong reason.

[@Jim-fe2xz]

Everything you mentioned is exactly why I am single now and very happy this way! When I was married we had a neighbor lady who thought it was her "calling" to meet with other women & bad mouth their spouses to each other. When I retired I would go to lunch with ex coworkers & and actually overhear this going on in restaurants. I asked her about it and she really believed she was helping marriages! It wasn't the cause of our breakup but it sure helped it along. I likely wouldn't have survived the wrath had I ever mentioned "well my buddy says you should do or be like this or that" LOL!!!! Well I truly hope everyone is able to find that special person and partner! As they say "when it's good, it's REALLY GOOD!"

[@thedeff321]

My wife divorced me for these very reasons 😞 I never got gratitude for anything I did. The dishes, cooking, all the cleaning. And I told her I loved doing all those things so that she could focus on the things she liked! But when she dropped divorce, she said she took all those things personally as attacks which she never communicated to me! As for talking badly, instead of communicating with me she talked badly behind my back to her family and friends, which obviously created a bigger rift between us because people were taking sides essentially. And the whole time I thought things were okay and getting better between us 😢 Poor communication was the ultimate downfall of our marriage, and it came from both sides. But in the end, I was the one who wanted to work on changing all that, but she just wanted out with no opportunity to grow and learn from each other. The hardest part for me is knowing it didn't need to end like this 😥

[@josiewalberg2263]

You are absolutely correct , simple a thank you or small praise for acts of compassion for wife or girl friend will make a BIG difference in their relationship . If there is a snide remark or a sarcastic scoff for deeds he has done will only start things down an unrecoverable path

[@jonathananderson3589]

To your first point, this mindset highlights the wide gulf between the male and female experience. As a man, if I get a genuine compliment more than once every ten years, I consider myself profoundly lucky. I've seen women that get deeply angry or sad if they aren't complimented at least once a week. Compliments go much further for men, and can fill a positive reinforcement role almost as well as physical affection. Withholding praise and compliments as a way to get a man to repeat desired behavior is roughly equivalent to expecting your car to travel further by withholding fuel. It's counterproductive, and it quite literally is the opposite of good sense. I question how the same mind that is apparently a high-earning individual can also be capable of such intense stupidity.

[@JohnSmith-ys3wc]

Yeh, it's weird. I was standing in line at a movie theater and this girl who was maybe 15 said oh I like your jacket and it was so out of place and a rarity that I was dumbfounded. I chalked it down to her age because the rarity of an actual woman complimenting me is quite rare.

[@PTP54112]

You are very spot on. First one: aknowledgeing and showing appreciation for accomplishments and even little things will inspire a man to keep it up. Withholding will actually put them in a mindset of "well, why did i even bother then?" I like how you accurately compare it to the workplace, because a hard working man doesnt necessarily need aknowledgment of their efforts because they are getting paid, except for instances when its not only not aknowledged but youre also being told its not enough. With a relationship, the only reward for effort is the aknowledgment, so not even getting that just makes it pointless. If giving your man appreciation makes him lazy, then absolutey get rid of him, but if you dont give it, youre driving him away. Second one. Yes, so much yes. If you ask your man for help, he more than likely will help. If you simply say youre going to do something, or say nothing at all, and just EXPECT help, then theres only a slim chance you're going to get it, and there is absolutely no reason to be upset if you dont. I feel this often also ties into and goes hand in hand with the first point, like women just 'expecting' help or things to get done, but never aknowledging or showing appreciation when it happens, only complaining when it doesnt. Third one. This can go both ways. If you have or want a good relationship, you should never ever be bashing your partner to other people, unless you're reporting legitimate abuse. If you have negative things to say then you need to discuss and work it out with your partner and move on, or end it. This can actually go another step further, and is something that ive had very detrimental experience with. If someone else is bashing your partner in front of you, DEFEND YOUR PARTNER. It doesnt even matter if you agree or not, unless again it has to do with legitmate abuse. If you cant do that, then you should just end the relationship right there, but you have no respect for your partner.

[@stevecampbell1147]

First wife did all 3. Was maniputive. No gratitude.

[@Greg-pt7ur]

Have had the first two and absolutely agree. It hurts.

[@darktenor4967]

Hi. thanks for another video. Btw, I showed my wife your "10 things men love about women", video, she agreed, however she did feel you were a little too heavy on female responsibilities. Any chance that you could do a similar video for traits women love in men, especially for us married fellows who genuinely care for our wives and want to make sure we're doing the right thing. There is far too much: "men must praise women endlessly! Men are lucky just to be with a woman!" type of content around now, so something which is fairer and honest would be nice to see.

[@mackthisarrowhearth295]

They are not checkboxes who have to be hit all the time, or need to be all present. It just helps giving direction. And basically, all say, treat your partner as a person, it's that simple.

[@darktenor4967]

@@mackthisarrowhearth295 I am aware of that. However, given that I have been lucky enough to find myself in an extremely harmonious marriage with a very female lady, I was interested to see how the personalities and traits Emily King mentioned measured up, EG I found it very interesting that one of Emily King's demonstrations of female caring is physical affection, because while it's me who cooks, my lady is indeed very physically affectionate, and it is something I've always appreciated. I personally thought my lady fulfilled 8 and two half categories, I asked her to watch the video, (she believed she fulfilled all ten), however she also said she felt Emily King's list was a little too skewed towards the woman's responsibilities towards the man , hence why I'd appreciate hearing Emily King's thoughts regarding the other side. Obviously, the number one rule for harmonious relationships boils down to: "don't be a self-centred arsehole!", (something which applies equally to both genders and likely all types of romantic relationships), However given that Emily King's speciality is specifically male female relations, I'd be interested to see her thoughts on this from the other side, particularly because; as I said, these days there is far too much heavily misandrist relationship advice directed towards men.

[@jacobheinz8236]

Emily, you’re absolutely correct on all 3 points.

[@dontchastop]

That first woman is horrible.

[@THX5000]

Most of them are, after the mask comes off.

[@joelohberger3221]

You sure hit the nail on the head I am disabled on my feet I can walk just barley but still do the cooking and laundry and cleaning but never hear thank you or any prais she dose stuff and I thank her but it's one way and all day she is yelling at someone doctors welfair me if she goes before me I will never never seek a women I will spend my last days in peace and if I die I will be glad it's over her BS!!!!

[@lloydkeith3061]

Once a woman decides to withhold affection she will just be a friend instead of a partner

[@CFurnace-72]

if that

[@youtoo2233]

I was married 30 years and went through this and many other things that was never encouraging but thank God Im with a mature woman now who is nothing but sweet and is there for me in every way possible

[@christopherwesselingh9389]

As for criticising somebody, if somebody does that with me, I figure they don't see me, because if they did they would see the balance and if we don't see the balance we don't see the whole person, criticism without being constructive to me as a sign and I'm gone I don't feel respected or appreciated I leave because I deserve better as I find I can appreciate myself for the effort for the lessons I'm learning and my ability to step forward into the next step I find available, I'm always growing and learning therefore not everything is going to be perfect but you can guarantee I'm doing my best and giving my best

[@AlexanderSeven]

A good boss will never criticize someone publicly, it's just counter productive.

[@afpwebworks]

I agree with all three of those. Definitely. Slightly different subject but the worst afternoon of my life was spent where I was he only man at the lunch table with my wife, sister-in-law and 3 of her recently-divorced friends. ("Recently-divorced" is the clue that should have warned me). The lunch, which could have been a very pleasant summer lunch in the sun, turned into a "lets bash all husbands" 4 hours. Since i was the only man at the table, I was by default the defender of all men and the personification of everything despicable in those ex-husbands and all other men. I ended up just shutting my mouth, letting my mind drift off into other parts of the world and just ate my lunch as though i was by myself.

[@mackthisarrowhearth295]

You should have excused yourself and left, but that is ofcourse easy to say for someone not in love with that women... Sorry dude

[@afpwebworks]

@@mackthisarrowhearth295 You're right I sat there and thought about what i could say and where i could go - nowhere to go - i needed a ride - my wife wouldnt have forgiven me for makin her ttick with it and her sister was our host - we were supposed to b estaying at her place that night. I tossed up all those calculations and my dumbass mind just cojldn't come up with the scenario to make it happen. But bloody hell those women sure got stuck into all men and i was the one with the target on my back.

[@billparrish4385]

@@afpwebworks A close friend from work went through something similar, with plenty of notice, him trying everything to make it work, and nevertheless had his escape route all planned out. He began slowly, over weeks, organizing his stuff within their apartment so that it wasn't mixed in with hers, and could be easily boxed and transported. He also gave a few of us on the 'moving committee' a key, in case a move needed to be rushed and begun without him. His previous girl had fairly devastated him, to the point that we thought he'd harm himself. He'd had some very precious mementos, things given to him by his dad and mom, both dead, and after some unavoidable delays clearing his stuff out (not long, 2-3 days), she lost patience and heartlessly donated and/or pitched it all, including those irreplaceable mementos (the loss of his dad was especially raw, being recent, and she'd disposed of a small set of hand tools that father and son had used restoring an old car). The whole affair put him in a funk for months, reduced him to taking turns sleeping on our couches. Now this current woman was starting to pull the same crap, criticizing him in private and in public. He was back on his heels, at a loss, gun shy about living through all that pain again. So he devised this plan, and we were all game, because of what he went through before. One day, the call came. They'd gone on a trip, first by a short regional air hop, then ubers, BnB's, antiquing and wine country, the whole deal because it was a laundry list of her favorite things. She'd dragged him along to this brunch with some of the women on the tour she'd made friends with, no other husbands about, and where the main course was roast man-failures. Just like you described, which made me think of how close the circumstances of the two stories were. He took all that he could (plus, this was the culmination of months of this behavior coming to a head, and he could see the writing on the wall), then excused himself as if to the restroom, called one of us, who called the rest, and by the time he'd packed and gotten transportation back home, we had him mostly packed and half his stuff in some of our garages. He ghosted her texts and calls until she finally made her way back home (she finished the agenda without him), and found not only him gone, but all his stuff. They had their meeting in a public place, a restaurant on the nicer end of the scale, his presumption being so they could discuss things rationally, keeping voices and tempers low. No such luck. He got treated to the contents of her water glass in his face, followed by a tantrum where they had to threaten calling the cops to get her to leave. He apologized, paid them for the meal that was ordered, tipping heavily for any inconvenience to their other guests. Soon after that, we all started noticing a change in him, for the better. He stopped couch-surfing and got a new place (the old one had been hers, since she'd had the space when they moved in together, his was a loft). He also started hitting the gym and bringing in lunch at work (keto). He still hasn't found Miss Right, but he leaves a trail of longing female looks when he's out in public. At least, we think they're checking him out -- they certainly aren't eyeing the rest of us schlubs.... :)

[@JohnSmith-ys3wc]

@@afpwebworks If your wife sat there and never once defended you the entire time I'd say your heading to a divorce and don't realize it. She has no respect for you.

[@Crimlex.]

When I ever see any of these signs I'll tell her out for that bs and if she doesn't agree with I throw her to the streets 100 percent. Thank you for the kind reminder.

[@d4rk5t4r2]

Me: *Already sad* Also me: *Checks out something that could potentially make me feel worse* In all serious, I’m happy that you’re here and I hope you’re doing well ❤️

[@jasonallen1532]

Completely agree and have experienced your 3 points. Studies show that in the workplace recognition is more important than the money. Core to any relationship is having a spirit of goodwill. Talking smack to others about your mate or not acknowledging his good work only erodes this.

[@amateurcrastinator9523]

You specified bashing your man in public. That's definitely an important point. But bashing him in private is just as bad.

[@bryancampbell3046]

1000% correct. Ladies, please pay attention to this advice.

[@newalexandriacg]

The opposite of this is also true. In my experience, consciously or not, men do their best to become the person the most important women in their lives tell them they are. So as women we can actually “improve” our men, and this includes dads, brothers, and sons, by praising them even when they don’t do something perfectly or without prompting, showing affection and appreciation, and bragging about them to other women. Men often suffer from self esteem issues, too. And they may not believe they’re as good as you’re telling your friends they are, but when they find out about it they are certainly going to try to live up to that. We can start the upward spiral.

[@markpreheim]

Wait a minute..... Just how the [-]€11 can a woman, or anyone for that matter, improve a man ? THE MAN HAS TO IMPROVE HIMSELF ! Do you see ? This only proves the point even more ! ! ! ! This woman saying she will improve her man..... LEARN THIS, most guys don't like and some even HATE playing games ! Especially when they're the Pawns.....

[@richerDiLefto]

@@markpreheim​​​ The op’s point is, a man needs to be given *incentives* before he would want to better himself. Nobody can directly force him to be “better”, only he can do that, but treating him well from a place of love and respect (not manipulation) can give him reasons to try. Browbeating and disrespect gets nobody anywhere.

[@inconsequential4play21]

Praise Publicly & Discipline Privately. Positive reinforcement makes men want to do more to achieve more for that positivity. Discussing issues privately is a sign of respect & desire to resolve the issue rather than going public & creating resentment.

[@richardjohnson4052]

I have to compliment every little thing a woman does... "Your hair looks so beautiful today." "Thank you for making dinner today." "It's so powerful of you to go to work every day." when I am thinking, "every strong independant woman is little more than the basics of an average man.' and what does a man get? squat. What I want is to come home, plop on the couch, take my shoes off and mull over the shitty day I had and NOT have to discipline the kids and listen to her complain about being too tired to make dinner and he had better take her out tonight and don't even think about sex tonight. What I want is to plop down, take my shoes off and have my woman come to me, hand me an opened ice-cold beer with frost on the bottle and tell me, "I just want you to know that I understand how hard it was for you to sell your sailboat to pay the down on this house so we would have a nice place to live. I understand that you job is rough and you take that shit to give us a good life. I just want you to understand how much I appreciate all that you do for me." then kiss me on the cheek and say, "I'll give you some time to relax and detox while I make you dinner." I don't need this every day, but once a decade would be something I will treasure forever.

[@ArthurDent-q9o]

That's one of the problems: they do not communicate clearly. They let you "guess" In 11 from 10 options you are wrong!

[@chrismoore9997]

Gratitude is what entices us to work harder to get more grattitude.

[@mdhazeldine]

150% agree with all 3 points you made.

[@tonysicily2687]

Totally correct, pure gold. Men are simple creatures, with simple needs. Pat em on the head, hug em, and praise them and they will move mountains and fight trolls for their women.

[@TheRb9511]

Straight up facts. If you give us a little praise we will move heaven and earth for you. If you disrespect us, especially in public, we will do everything we can to piss you off. Treat a man how you want to be treated and you have no idea how much a man will go through to make you happy.

[@glennayers8073]

Hi you are a breath of fresh air i thank you from the bottom of my heart to hear healthy level headed thinking and good communication from you. I only wish other women would take note of your comments. I personally gave up on relationships years ago for my own peace of mind and sanity and I don't regret it at all.

[@stevenB216]

Gratitude is motivation. Making people proud is all we want.

[@tomla2725]

Your list knocked it out if they park, great job!

[@jaimebaca9439]

I’ll never understand withholding anything if you care for someone. I’d do ANYTHING for the people I love.

[@coppertop121]

you are so so so right, thank you for standing up for us ;) As a man it is so nice to hear good job. I am very very lucky, my wife is always telling me kind things and thank you. we have now been married 31 Years.

[@dcbaars]

💯 I recognize all three after a 9y relationship. The second one and third one hit hard. Almost no affection in discussions/arguments. Also not communicating want she wanted or needed happened so often. she always said “I thought you already knew or felt that” my standard reply became “I am no robot nor a fortuneteller, nor mindreader I am simply human”. The third one is just nasty. No respect. That last one is now an instant deal breaker. To me it means she already doesn’t love you anymore or adore you but just simply is too attached or doesn’t have a better option atm. I am happy it’s over and have gained valuable knowledge. It has moved forward, but I cant unsee them

[@r.h.7633]

True. I too had to endure public mockery and scolding, but I only found out about it after the breakup, and that too by accident. My father said he doesn't know if I'm aware of it, but my ex visited him at one point after the breakup and told him how bad a man I am and that I even beat him and locked him in the bathroom for a long time. All lies. It really struck me and I could never have expected something like this from this woman. Now I see her true face. I'm really glad she left. God will judge her.

[@AndyNiebeling]

I have to thank you for what you do because it is always about the women for some reason it’s never about the man, so thank you for bringing balance to the force