4 minutes straight of D&D World Heritage posts

Best D&D stories, greentexts
Twitter: / zacnaoum
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[@Bos187]

Player: "Aren't I a half orca?" DM: "You know what? Gimme a moment and you will be "

[@sethb3090]

Honestly half orca sounds legit

[@Kafj302]

Giant raised by a nice couple teaches him how to fight and speak, dresses him in fancy clothes. "Now darling, what do we tell people if people ask what you are" "I tell them I am a Huge man" in this world giants are usually hunted and killed. "That's right, you are human" He goes years with an adventuring party and the dwarf bard is like "can you repeat what ye just said your race is, because you seem a bit too tall for a human" "But i is a huge man" "This bloke isn't a human, he is a live saving, pulled me from the chasm of fire, Giant." Everyone else gasps, thinking this murdous dwarf is about to attack their friend "And i couldn't have a better friend, now here on fella, you can say what you really are, a giant. If anyone has as much as a beard hair across their rear end about it, there might be a new wind instruments in their neck depending on their reaction" Rogue to paladin "remind me never get on his bad side" Paladin back to rogue "he might be on the path to light but that was dark, but decent friend monologue and that" Rogue covers the paladin's mouth "we don't have time for that right now"

[@norretgantier]

​@@Kafj302Was giant named Hugh J. Mann?

[@FunkyPotato8]

With that last story I like to imagine the wife is in hell killing demons in the name of their god

[@net_spider]

Like that suggestion a lot more than the alternative of the DM just being a dick for no reason. The quest becomes:"Why is she there and why isn't she willing to come back?" You can design a whole adventure on it and it could be a fun and emotional time for your players.

[@ConstantChaos1]

I prefer that she was a secret cult member

[@TheDaxter11]

Are those metal guitar riffs mixed with real chainsaw noises I'm hearing?

[@Dom_Maretti]

E1M1 intensifies.

[@ClokworkGremlin]

​@Leeloo_the_foxNow that's a lot of damage!

[@jeremiahbristow7609]

I really like the idea of a halforca. This should totally be a thing.

[@peterlane7128]

Have you heard of shylily

[@hazelwander]

I would absolutely homebrew on the SPOT because that is galaxy brain level thinking

[@giaxo1739]

Dragon born, but you deal bludgeoning with your breath attack?

[@khovre]

Battlecry would be "womp womp"?

[@PhantasyPen]

There was a race in 3.5 whose name I've forgotten, but they were essentially Humanoid orcas. The book was Stormwrack, and it was all about sailing, ship combat, and aquatic races for your campaigns.

[@BewareTheCarpenter]

I like the dragonborn princess idea on the condition that she's dumb as rocks and goes on the quest, not realizing the truth.

[@roma540]

THAT'S EVEN BETTER

[@TotallyNotAlpharius]

Noble Paladin Dragonborn: FOUL BEAST, I HAVE MADE IT PAST YOUR CULT AND NOW WILL FACE YOU IN COMABT TO SAVE THE FAIR MAIDEN YOU KIDNAPPED!!! . . . Wait why is the cave empty? Slowly Bleeding Out Cultist: *COUGH COUGH* Th-that’s what I’ve been trying to *COUGH* tell you! We aren’t cultists! We are a vagrant camp!!! Noble Paladin Dragonborn: . . . Oh poop

[@morgancovelli3727]

I raise: She does know, but her party members are the ones that accepted the job and convince her to either pretend or play along so they can get an easy payday.

[@dekusi1857]

@@TotallyNotAlpharius"oh my god that's sooo crazy that there's a princess w my same name !!! and an evil dragon with my same title !!!"

[@AndyKennett]

@@morgancovelli3727 After accepting the quest, the party leaves, then the next day they return with dragonborn in her princess atire all "rescued" and she says "O these adventurers were so brave to rescue me, please award them their pay as you so nobly promised them" (she winks at her fellow party members)

[@DarthZ01]

miranda, wearing her casual princessy outfit, is followed by a suitor and seen entering the castle of firefang the ruthless and the portcullis slamming behind her. she is later heard screaming while a jet of flame shoots from an upper story window. the suitor hastily runs to hire someone to rescue her, going with a well renowned knight who was in the village to have their armor repaired earlier that day. in reality, miranda returned home after leaving her armor at the smith, shut the door behind her, went upstairs and ate some incredibly spicy curry made with enchanted peppers, she yelled out and involuntarily released some flame breath, luckily aiming out a window and not catching her room on fire. then when she returned to town to get her armor back, she was accosted by a quest giver who says someone was trying to hire her.

[@Player_36C]

Brilliant campaign idea 🤔

[@WadeTheWilsonTV]

That Barrington story is literally the plot to EVERY Chickenboo Short from _Animaniacs._ For those too young _(dunno if it's in the reboot)_ it's a giant chicken that dresses like a man, gets mistaken for a famous or skilled person/celebrity/hero is literally JUST a large chicken, and every time 1 guy notices, starts ranting & raving about the giant chicken "are you all blind?!" only to be roughed up and thrown out of ghe building. I also believe the disguise occasionally fell off and the crowd would ALL notice and panic because it's a 7-foot tall fucking chicken.

[@TimmyGC]

Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act, like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise, to act like human guys, but you aren't a man, you're a Chicken Boo.

The cover usually got blown near the end of Chicken Boo's segments, causing whoever fell for it to angrily kick him out.

[@MemoristCed]

He wears a disguise to look like human guys, but he's not a man, he's a chicken, Boo.

[@phantommangagirl]

He’s in the episode in the reboot that explains why no one besides the Warners and Pinky & the Brain are on the show.

[@sternenwind00e]

Second story, the adventure party were hired by the Eldritch Entity as Union Busters.

[@hermeticbear]

wizards polymorphing people into swords is fey vibes

[@ScionStorm1]

Edward Scissorhands: First time?

[@DarthSanguine]

Or genie, given the context.

[@KefkeWren]

The DM on that last story better roll for initiative IRL.

[@holyelephantmg8838]

With Disadvantage

[@bassal_the_rotten7645]

​@@holyelephantmg8838 Should probably add a surprise round as well.

[@meowwaffles6040]

Idk why one wouldn't just say that the poison has a picture of a skull and cross bones on it. That's a pretty universal sign of "deadly"

[@niklasdahlgren7641]

That's why my rogue replaces all labels on his poison bottles so no-one discovers it. It just say "Ghost Pepper Bacon Mayonnaise Dressing"

[@meowwaffles6040]

@@niklasdahlgren7641 Haha, love it

[@lordfelidae4505]

@@niklasdahlgren7641so poison.

[@B2WM]

I'm now picturing the party as being from another short: "It says it's full of wyvern poison!" The rogue, calculating her risk: "It's okay, I've got some levels of poison resistance... Okay, not that many levels." *Drops from bad at math damage*

[@Kafj302]

Maybe the label got folded over so it looked like something else.

[@hyperblade9310]

That last one really annoys me, gives a perfect setup for a big reveal after it fails as the soul cant be found, meaning its trapped somewhere, and that leads towards the bbeg for something like the bbeg having an amulet that traps killed souls inside it that they are using to do some big evil plan, so the only way to be able to resurrect the wife is by destroying the amulet then resurrecting her.

[@peteralexandergraae2830]

When workers form a group like this, it is called a union. When witches do it, it is called a coven. You did not invent a warlock union, you just made your own coven.

[@Kafj302]

All you ask for from the gods is more cooking recipes. Now you can open a bakery called "the warlock's oven"

[@alricmalicorne321]

Or a religion.....

[@peteralexandergraae2830]

@@alricmalicorne321 when clerics form a group, it is called a church. Or a tempel for that matter.

[@Kafj302]

@@peteralexandergraae2830 hmm you just gave a good idea. A campaign for a bake off. You could even have a mysterious Barber show up and he could a shop called "the final cut professional" with a bakery below called "a slice of life". Your goal in the campaign is to find out who is murdering officials. As you get closer, he might offer the players each a cut "to be quiet".

[@zetsevs]

​@alricmalicorne321 warlocks are given power not necarrily by gods infact most anybody but a god so if the definition of a religion is a place for collective worship of deity that wouldnt be correct for a collection of warlocks that worship say a fey lord or a ranking demon or unfathomable horror because these arent necarrily gods simply powerful beings who bestow power to those under them to do there bidding I also wouldnt call them a coven because a coven insulating the power within for growth union would be apt for analogy for a cult a coven eould be more like the top end coes of a company who benefit from the power of those beneath them

[@Echotracers]

Instead of being a rogue bear, be a Druid bear, and get a human 'animal companion' to act as your butler. He gets bonus hd as your companion yae! Ask instead of wild shape into animals if you can wild shape into humanoids, Tiny pixie, Small halflings, medium dwarf, large and huge types of giant. However when you speak in those forms your character only says their species name when talking but somehow can communicate effectively with others of their species. Dwarf wildshape "Dwarf dwarf dwarf. Dwarf dwardwarf."

[@BaconNuke]

Ah.. so they become a pokemon

[@Kafj302]

​@@BaconNukewell technically they are a rogue so they will poké many a man.

[@Youaveragecountryhumansfan]

@@Kafj302Take my like and get out

[@AndreAIXIDOR89]

​@@BaconNuke a humanoid Pokémon

[@irenewhitcomb1813]

The Dragonborn/Iguana thing naturally came up in campaign. Although he was a popular insurance salesman seen on TV who may save you 15%...

[@SailorSetsuna7]

Half-orca thing reminded me how for a custom Savage Worlds campaign I used the water people as a template to make a humanoid dolphin man. Made him a janitor in the interdimensional company because he can clean the water tanks without the diving gear. The main joke is that he's often responsible for cleaning the septic tank. Sorry, Dillon, I just love to make you suffer.

[@Sephiroth144]

Two notes: DragonPrincessKnight... just... just collect the reward yourself. Hire an actress to play a princess, who will double as a witness to your heroic slaying of the foul dragon, and get the gold. Secondly, how bad a husband do you have to be for your wife to choose staying in HELL over being resurrected to be with you again?

[@RockyPixel]

To be fair to the thumbnail iirc in the opening lore bit in The Hobbit Tolkien felt the need to distinguish between Orcs and Orcas.

[@shadowreaper2011]

You should do "i roll to pin" story

[@ZacSpeaksGiant]

The luchadore one? I haven't thought about that in ages, absolutely putting it on the list

[@attemptedunkindness3632]

@@ZacSpeaksGiant Yes, pin Los Tiburon to your list. Grapple with the nuanced Spanish accent required to tell the arresting storying with a firm grip.

[@NixityNullt]

Roll to pin this comment

[@displacedcosmonaught8992]

Had a bear character that was in part responsible for me leaving the table. Long story short, the Dm at the time (we rotated) told us he had a hardcore campaign and wanted us to bring our “A” game...the most OP character you can make within the rules. So I had a monk/cleric/champion of Bharai (can’t remember spelling). The Champ lets you wild shape to and from a bear (stronger bears as you progress) and gives spell progression and lay on hands. So picture a polar bear with kung-fu, 6th lvl heal spells, stunning attacks AND ridiculous grappling and AC....yeah his hardcore campaign quickly turned into him creating new rules on the spot to nerf my character as much as possible. Oh yeah I had several champion of good abilities to like touch of golden ice and vow of poverty, this was 3.0-3.5 so I had an impossible AC even when I’m grappling someone

[@RyanNerdyGamer]

I’m SO glad KZbin’s algorithm suggested this channel to me after the rough start I had this morning. It’s single-handedly turned what would’ve been a s◼️ty day into a fantastic one. Thanks for the laughs, @ZacSpeaksGiant 👏🏻👏🏻😂

[@iamnuff1992]

I don't think the warlock union can work, when the patron can just cut off your power-source and find a new sucker.

[@Alinor24]

I love the bear one. 😄

[@demonbye19]

"Actually half-orc...you know what you are now a hal-orca spray that water!"

[@suziwolf4830]

"He's a chicken, I tell you, a giant chicken!"

[@FokkeWulfe]

I single handedly killed a game. We had a specific gesture we used when making jokes, that indicated whether it was in character or out. Well, our party was walking on egg shells, and were facing off against this warden. Very powerful, very important. Well, I made a joke, I was a Bard after all. I was asked "was that in character, or out." I said "well it's supposed to be out, but I forgot the gesture so, playing by the rules, it's in I suppose." The Warden cursed me with an INT curse. My class usually used WIS (or maybe CHA, I can't remember anymore) as the base stat, but thanks to a particularity to my build, INT was my base stat. Yeah, my build was neutered immediately. I had an INT of 1. The rest of my party didn't find it funny. One grappled the Warden, one grabbed a big hammer and went full on Gallagher to her head. I rolled to drool on the wall and missed. That promptly derailed the entire game, since now this essential NPC's personality was sprayed all over the room, and a bit clinging to the bottom of a hammer head. In my GMs defense, he picked INT to curse, not realizing that was my important stat. Had he known, he'd have picked something else to avoid literally the exact thing that happened. Of course, had I not made the joke, the Warden wouldn't have been offended, and we wouldn't have had to return to her girlfriend with a bloody hammer, with bits of skull and an eyeball stuck to it to say "well good news, you can come and go as you wish now...."

[@fenixchief7]

This is what happens when the bard thinks he can be an int build

[@FokkeWulfe]

@fenixchief7 it worked out well for me.... well until that one moment. It had to do with the way my character was built. INT worked out better than WIL. Lol.

[@ButchPleaseImFabulous]

The bear story makes me think of Chicken Boo (animaniacs)

[@ConstantChaos1]

Last one, the wife was a member of the cult, this isnt rail roading this is linear storytelling

[@ZacSpeaksGiant]

Oooh, great twist

[@ConstantChaos1]

@ZacSpeaksGiant I mean she is content being in hell so something shady must be going on and there was a cult involved, I really hope that's how the dm played it

[@Floweramon]

Only if the player is okay with their character's goal/motivation and the backstory for their character's wife being altered like this. Because it sounds like the player had a pretty straightforward desire for their character, so unless the DM asked if the player was okay with them getting creative with elements of their character arc and backstory I could easily see the player getting pissed about this.

[@ConstantChaos1]

@Floweramon dude if you get mad about a dm filling in the gaps left by the roles you literally need to find a new game, it is not ok to treat your dm like crap because the duce didn't go the way you want. I suggest you speak to a luscensed mental health provider because again if you're getting mad about the dm doing the job of dm then you need to not play. You don't get exclusive and total controll over your backstretch, if a dm wants they can have you scrap an entire backsotry on a wim and that's perfectly fine for them to do, no your character can't be the literal christ or Satan or something and they don't need to ask you first to so that. You show up with your character and backstop and are like "here's what I have now let's make a story" getting mad about this would be like getting personally pissed off that the dm hit a crit on you at the start of combat and rolled 1 damage anyway, like you're pretty much unchanged but the dice rolled the way they did and the dm played the game, the only one fucking around is the one throwing a fit that the game of make-believe isn't going their way and involved *second scratch and cat yowling.* making believe 🙄 Christ you sound like a petulant child crying that it's not their birthday cake at a party lmfao Be passed at thr dice not the dm it's not fucking railroading its a dice roll for fucks sake.

[@chaosgyro]

"Linear storytelling" is just a fancy name to put on "railroading". If we wanted to follow a singular plot that was all laid out we could read a book, watch a movie, or play a video game.

[@roguewolf7053]

Do you have a second channel where you post more videos of game play than the single campaign on this channel? I’d love to watch more gameplay with you as DM. Regardless I’m glad to have found your channel!

[@ZacSpeaksGiant]

Aww thanks! I'm planning to upload more episodes of that campaign into that playlist but unlisted. I'm also about to start a new campaign with my group (from the horse throwing video) that will be going up on KZbin as well

[@Fayanora]

Mr. Bearington, basically Chicken Boo but he's a bear.

[@anjhindul]

The bear one was one of my favorites to read. Always had the bear a little deeper voice though. :)😊

[@jet_set8648]

The tale of Sir Bearington. A classic tale indeed.

[@ConstantChaos1]

3.5 is the best edition to fuck around in, the world is like 5e fey and the fey.... well lets just say it's fun, hard but fun

[@staindzkilla]

I just found this channel today and i love the stories😂

[@kittensolder8818]

MFW I accidentally started a cult

[@truthwatcher2096]

"bear maxed out bluff and convinced everyone he's a human" is one of those things that can only happen on 9gag

[@MarcusBeirne]

Strong Chicken Boo vibes off that Sir Bearington character 😂

[@cetitanenthusiast776]

Half-Orca reminds me of Gang Orca from My Hero Academia

[@MagileineTopDeckToFullField]

"Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise To look like human guys. But you're not a man You're a chicken, Boo."

[@Jackie89000]

The first time i played D&D with my dad he didnt know what a griffon was.

[@SaltExarch]

It's a shame the Warlock union/cult didn't realize their potential sooner and set up actual religious tenets. They could've got the Clerics and Paladins on their side.

[@DerekIcelord]

It's Chicken Boo from the Animaniacs, but with a bear. That's amazing.

[@nabra97]

I just realised that the story about the wife could be because the PC was pretty clearly an abuser and the player couldn't understand that, and the DM couldn't come up with anything better. Still probably not the right thing to do, but sometimes I can understand.

[@michaelmurray6197]

The wizard that turns the npc into a sword clearly spent too much time around a genie or djinn.

[@Pyre]

Darfellan. The girl wanted to play a Darfellan. Everybody should read Stormwrack incidentally.

[@ZoeBateman]

Honestly the dragonborn knight/princess should have taken the job, she’d basically get paid to go on a nice hike for a few days

[@dragonriderabens9761]

3:01 the Dragonborn then proceeded to have charred bard for dinner

[@ryansparks2131]

No joke, I love the idea of the bear character as an npc. Make him the mayor of an important town and have the players constantly make ridiculously high perception checks to see if they can see through it. Sounds like fun

[@BrodyTEM]

Someone should try the bear in DND 5e

[@gregbasore2108]

Must be rough knowing your wife would rather sty in hell than come back to life and be with you again.

[@anobjectatrest5975]

Inb4 party host is fae.

[@shanavalkyria3438]

i use to love playing awakened animals in 3.5/pathfinder 1. I ran an awakened horse gunslinger who hired an noc to maintain him and shovel his poop. This videos idea really goes past that thoughm as muy horse char just told people he was a druid out of combat

[@hiro4344]

That last one killed me

[@kamchatmonk]

Let me guess: the warlocks' patron was Undead by the name Vladimir Lenin?

[@samuelrussell5760]

Bears have 2 int. They don't have a language. They are incapable of complex planning. If this is a setting where "bear-men" exist with normal human intelligence and a language, why is it weird that one of them should rise to prominence?

[@sunsinger970]

Bard? Rogue? Same guu different shstiq.

[@Bluesonofman]

Bards are Rogues.

[@alexandermccomas482]

That wizard is just a fey

[@alricmalicorne321]

If the whole warlock union/cult manages to obtain official status, does it become a religion? If so, do all the warlocks have to respecialize as priests?

[@Shovel________________]

the pc's wife was in hell and refused to be ressurected? sounds like she's having the time of her life down there. who knows, maybe her special place in hell was on the throne

[@stanleyschlosser7495]

can sombody do more isekai champaigns i could only find 2 mayby tree

[@cami7436]

To my players who watch this channel, one of these things will be included in my campaign. figure it out >:D

[@sungodra1226]

Reckon the bear is based on an adventure time episode lol

[@2MeterLP]

How bad of a husband does one have to be that the wife would rather stay in hell than be with him again.

[@freya002YT]

Lol

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

What is World Heritage?

[@Konpekikaminari]

generally it refers to places and things that have "universal cultural value" in the context of D&D, it refers to a collection of the most famous/infamous stories from the hobby (usually posted on 4chan)

[@yozarahirvi4750]

The last story is the only good one. the others, while funny are just troll stories, no one I know who plays DnD would dare to try such a character, because it may be funny of a one shot, but it would probably grow old very fast ! An the contrary, the last one is very interesting. A player makes a pretty basic life goal for their character, something simple that can take some time but would be accomplished eventually and without much trouble. And from that "basic story" the DM decide to expands on it, creates an interesting plot around it and give fuel to the character's story to continue and to grow, why is she in Hell ? and why is she unwilling to be resurrected ? that create mutliple question and to answer that, the player will have to dig deeper in their own story, that is VERY interesting and that's what good DM are doing. I remember a campaign on "The Cardinal's Blades" a RPG made on the lore of the books written by Pierre Pevel. a player's story was "I'm french but I grow up in spain and I have no contact from my parent who are still libing in spain" And the DM created a whole story where his parents where Spies that were infiltrated in the dragon society based in spain and using their name he infiltrated the dragons we wre trying to slay andhalped take them down ! A good GM takes an interesxting story and goes deeper making it epic ! I bet this player who was only seeking to resurrect his wife will remember this story for a very long time !

[@Draco9909]

Or be absolutely pissed to high heaven that the one and only thing he wanted to do and was finally able to do got ripped from his fingers for no apparent reason whatsoever by the dm. Could be a good story but I know a lot of Internet people would hear that "nah she's in hell and wants to stay there" line and just dip out immediately after. Cause to them it was unprompted and unwarranted to add it in. Dude had a single goal and dm last second said no. Again could be an interesting story/adventure, but that's assuming the dm was able to calm them down and explain it to them before they packed up their stuff and left the building.

[@JoelRennie]

why is some of the text green? it's a bit hard to read, could you try a different text font i think it would help

[@ridermiv]

They are stories from 4chan called greentexts

[@alex_blue5802]

My friend 🤣