4 Parts of the Reparenting Process (healing the inner child

[@MoMotivation0304]

My mother didn't allow me to have human connection with anyone growing up. I was so sheltered. I struggle with staying connected to people in my adult life; this often leaves me feeling alone and isolated.

[@iliananajera363]

Very similar experience here. Sometimes I still can’t gage social cues very well. Im 27… it puts a deep strain on my relationships. Sending nothing but great vibes your way ❤️

[@MoMotivation0304]

@@iliananajera363 same to u 💝

[@Lyrielonwind]

Same here. Being a mature woman who had to move to another city doesn't make it easier.

[@SoniaOliveira-gt5nn]

My mom too. She also blamed me for everything, compared me negatively to every kid , protected my brother and not me. Spanked me and my brothers and the animals, kept my toys away from reach, name calling you name it. Have a few good memories of my childhood.. At 12 I remember my world being my room only. I tried ask for help but at that time nobody wanted to interfere. So at 39 I'm far away from having peace. Thank you for reading ***

[@MoMotivation0304]

@@SoniaOliveira-gt5nn sending you love Sonia! What I try to remember is I'm responsible for me now. She should no longer has control over my life. It is hard to manage our feelimgs sometimes tho b/c we've been traumatized & memories come up, but fight thru that, and always choose joy & love; You'll feel better when choosing that. I'm so sorry you experienced that treatment 💝

[@vanessamclennan1]

I think re parenting is also showing ourselves love, compassion and listening to ourselves with no judgement. Saying it’s ok for whatever emotion we want to display.

[@MattSloanVMMP]

It's really helped me to talk to myself like I would talk to a child. Sometimes the feminine nurturing and acceptance is more important, and sometimes the masculine senses of loving discipline and honesty are more important. Is "conversations with yourself" something she covers eventually? They have a huge impact on my perspective. Talking to myself like I wish a lover would has helped a lot, too. "Yeah you've had a big day, it makes sense that you're tired and frustrated. Let's get you some sleep and I bet it will all make more sense in the morning. I love you, buddy." *self hug* edit: kzbin.info/www/bejne/h5_Jl5Kbh918pqc

[@kapildalwani]

"Now is our job to teach our self, to essentially raise ourself" ... what a beautiful thought

[@antonczerny]

HOW TO RE-PARENT YOURSELF 1. Discipline -Healthy habits -Rituals -Promises to self 2. Self-care -Sleep -Nutrition -Movement and physical activity -Conecting to nature 3. Joy -Human connection 3. Emotional regulation -Meditation -Being present -Breath work

[@enidasheme9294]

3. Joy is found in playing and doing hobbies as well

[@DanielaRosenrot]

I like to add journaling, soothing affirmations, letting feelings out (not suppressing) and self-havening (self-soothing) technique to Emotional regulation. 💜

[@learnwithlora]

Just want to say thank you. This is enlightening to say the least. I’m a “glass child” with trauma brain in need of reparenting

[@armorykittington]

I was just talking to my therapist today about how I've been doing these self-love and self-discipline motivated routines and how effective they have been in my life.... then she told me about "reparenting." This is wild... This thing I've taught myself... is being spoken back at me in this video. This is so crazy interesting - that there's all this science behind this. What a trip.

[@riasb]

I hope you reach beyond millions of followers. Your content NEEDS more attention. Thank you for all that you do on Instagram, on the web, email, youtube podcasts .. just thank you ❤️💯🙏

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

This means more to me than you know thank you so much!

[@morningchatterpodcast4738]

We agree!

[@StephAnie-qd7pv]

Whole whole whole heartedly agree!!!!!!!

[@surrenderinfaith]

completely! this is the next step in our evolution!

[@reli2520]

I promise myself to be better each single day. I promise myself to be with her along the way encouraging , supporting and self -parenting. You're amazing Dr Nicole. I'm grateful to find you . Keep the great work .

[@bigtimefans100]

this reminds me of the concept of "remothering" that Kati Morton discussed on her channel. After over a decade of emotional abuse, I'm still trying to heal. I know that that trauma is something I'm going to have to carry for the rest of my life but the good news is I can get better at handling it. You deserve all the love and help. Each and every one of you. And I do too

[@dianediane1245]

When you work on healing you become more of your true self!💗

[@susellis493]

💜

[@uniquewhimsy622]

It is possible to release the trauma. The wounds will be a part of you always but the pain can go. When we trust ourselves to protect ourselves from further trauma, the healing begins. When we forgive ourselves for our mistakes, the healing continues and deepens. Then we can rewrite our stories, one where we come out victorious. ❤️

[@Rich116]

This vid alone cld save someone's mental health

[@chadmackenroth5367]

Thank You...ALL of the trauma brain was me. Everything you say...is me! I am 46 and just now seeing this. I've been chasing a bottle and recovery for 30 years. Wish I had this before I chased her away forever 💔

[@bananabreadtan4124]

I went to school in order to leave my environment & begin my self healing journey. I decided to take the year off to essentially focus on reparenting. I'm so glad I found your page. Thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge! Cheers to 😊

[@angelicaarrieta8973]

I’m so thankful that you put up this content for anyone to access. When you say at the end “I’m right there with you” I felt a little emotional w gratitude that there are people in the world who wish to help. :)

[@malamelius]

I am grateful we still have a second chance to reform ourselves and break away from what our childhood has made of us. The brain is a remarkable thing to behold, and I'm excited to learn more. Thank you very much for helping so many people! God bless you and your channel! 💙✨

[@lauradietrich7197]

Thank you for mentioning that you’re right there with us doing this! Much love Dr❤️

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

always!

[@talia6229]

I came across you talking about reparenting a couple of years ago and it makes so much sense for me, and found only one counsellor was getting close to this concept. I am proud to say I have actually been working on these 4 points (without knowing the term) since I left home to take on the big hard world 15 years ago. Still a lot to do and working on it, but sometimes you have to reflect and say "you've done well kid".

[@sreejamukherjee7640]

Your videos and content on both platforms makes me feel incredibly optimistic and hopeful about the future and hope is really the best thing one can have. Thank you for giving me that.

[@shadowdemonaer]

Don't make promises to yourself or others. When you break them with others, you break their trust. When you break them with yourself, imagine you are breaking them like a parent letting their child down. Instead, find other ways to accomplish things, and do not beat yourself up for not doing the thing. You can also try to do these things with friends or family and see if it helps! Exercise together, wake up together, go to yoga... Whatever the thing is. But don't make promises to anyone ever. You never know if something will come up that will keep you from keeping that promise.

[@ladyraven3418]

I think that sounds wise and sensible. Good point.

[@pesamesagisum]

This was great! So grounded and mindful of the language used. There is no blame, only love and understanding-as the world ought to be. I think we’re collectively moving in that direction, the more we as a people become self-aware and emotionally regulated. Thank you for this video!

[@AveryThomason2015]

I didn’t know how badly I needed to do this work until I discovered you. Thank you so much for these incredible healing tools 🙏🏼 #selfhealers

[@remmiclewis]

Here from Trauma Brain video, thank you for all you provide. I have been following on IG and I benefit from your content as I lost my life coach who helped me function again after benzo hell. Your work is important and appreciated. Congratulations on the Forbes Editor's Pick, well deserved!

[@sarahjmount9221]

So helpful and mapped out as easy to understand. Thank you so much, Nicole. Your work has had a great deal of impact on my healing process. Also, I’m grateful to you for spreading awareness regarding recovery from CPTSD. ❤

[@kristamalchow6152]

Your content is the absolute best out there today. EVERYONE needs to hear this, thanks for everything you do.

[@abcek6006]

THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO! you are such an example to me. knowing that you have been able to reparent yourself gives me hope for myself. also i often feel that having trauma brain (watched that video before) is something you should feel bad about. but it is not. just a reminder to myself. like i am not liked when i admit that i have all those things. i actually discovered this judging others about their mental heath. judging others is just a mask, it means that you are actually judging yourself. and i should stop doing that. i am so much more than the unhealed parts in myself. thank you

[@Lalalovelies]

Could you possibly talk about anger? I think a lot of reparenting for me is learning to express my anger. I was always taught to keep it to myself and I find myself exploding when it all gets too much. I'm still not sure how to approach this or finding ways to heal my anger. Thanks!

[@JF-yf4lq]

I have issues with anger too. In my case however, I am unable to express anger. When I am angry, I end up crying.

[@alessandradessi6465]

@@JF-yf4lq I had that too. I couldn't get angry and when I felt it I immediately felt sadness and despair and cryed. That is because when you were little whenever you were angry and expressed it your parents/caregivers couldn't handle it/didn't have the patience and would literally turn away. That is unbearable for a child at that young age to feel that level of abandon and automatically learns that anger = abandon and lack of interest so just stops feeling it. There you go the feeling of sadness and despair. Because you have an inner child that feels unheard , ignored and can't express himself. You have to reparent yourself and say that it's ok to feel anger, try to connect to your inner soul and FEEL your inner world. Stop and think what you're feeling. Elaborate it. And just feel it. Give it importance. You can do it :)

[@Rynergy99]

I just yell very loud when no one is around. It releases all of that held in anger and energy

[@sweetangel4761]

👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

[@JoyKayEnn]

@@alessandradessi6465 Thank you so much, that was a great response!

[@nickysaw01]

Thank you for this quick video! You’re the only one I’ve found who has broke it down well into actionable steps!

[@gturcott1]

Love this as a 45-50 minute talk you really have a lot to share! Great topic

[@robh5695]

Great video. I am practicing re-parenting and finding it going very well. A couple of recommended reads: PsychoCybernetics by Maxwell Maltz and Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy. In Maximum Achievement Brian wrote a chapter on how to speak to your children to make them successful, and you can and should do the same for your inner child. Say things like: I love you, you're amazing, I believe in you, you can do it / anything you set your mind to, you're so lovable / fun / joyful / compassionate / creative / intelligent / active / healthy / wealthy / wise etc. You'll be surprised at how well your inner self responds and how much better you feel. 💝

[@jessicaesland8182]

I love the lack of BS in your videos... you get to the point and have really interesting insights. I'm very grateful for your videos!

[@fippie7]

Every talk I see on this subject talks about sleep, like it’s a choice on how much sleep you get. I have been chasing sleep for 3 months now, trying every sleep recommendation out there. Still most nights get 4 hours or split 3 hrs up for 2 hrs and back to sleep for 2 hrs. Also for the past three month I have Been crying. I eat very healthy, use supplements, I am at a healthy weight, meditate, do breath work, no electronics in my bedroom, keep the room cool, wear a sleep mask, wear socks, use aromatherapy, have a bedtime routine, use light therapy in the am, and more. I just feel like if I could get more consistent sleep I could devote my focus more on what’s important.

[@coconutmilch2351]

i find myself naturally doing these things because i've noticed that they help me :D yay

[@draydaii609]

Thank you so much for this vital information! Beginning my journey on healing my inner self. I have a young one myself. I want to be a better role model than I ever had growing up. Thank you thank you! I send you blessings!

[@bonnieouellette4087]

I can’t remember when someone has ever made that much sense to me . I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[@kcoker9189]

1. Discipline - Rituals/habits - promises to self 2. Self care - sleep - nutrition - movement - nature connection 3. Joy - play - interests/hobby - human connection 4. Emotional regulation - meditation - conscious awareness - breath work

[@NikkitaChante]

Absolutely Beautiful! I love how you explained this ❤️🔥 , I think the end struck a nerve. We shouldn’t be angry at our parents but feel empathy for what they did not give themselves in order to give it to us!

[@Kandiniful]

Oh my goodness! I LOVE YOU! Thank you so so so much for all of the things you put out here and on Instagram. Your work is so so so precious. I often feel like crying reading and watching you. You hit home with all the things you say and write. I'm healing and you are helping me so much. And I am working on being a great model for my little one. THANK YOU!

[@BenjaminCano]

1. Discipline - Rituals / Habits - Promises to Self 2. Self Care - Sleep Nutrition - Movement - Nature Connection 3. Joy - Play - Interest / Hobby - Human Connection 4. Emotional Regulation - Meditation - Conscious - Awareness - Breath Work

[@sat.shikha]

Thank you for sharing these core practices to reparent the inner wounded child!

[@thomasbakker1355]

Really superimportant info! Absolutely helpfull. Noticing my emotions, being open to your lesson, i got nervous by the pace of it. Which in my opinion, is contradictionary... I wish you more calm in bringing these oh so important messages! And i feel the pace in your drive ❤

[@liamfaris8986]

I appreciate the effort put into your videos and for outlining specifically the processes of emotional regulation and awareness. As a psychology student, this is free guidance provided for all, which usually costs hundreds in therapy sessions. It is trialing not to blame the nurturing of our parents in processing these unconscious maladaptive behaviors, so I agree with understanding the processes in which they were also taught as children. Thank you.

[@lafleurethereal2338]

I needed this so much thank you for your service to the world!!!

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

thank you so much for being here!

[@EmA-mu5ki]

Thank you Dr. LaPera. I appreciate the work you do and your commitment to health. Thank you.

[@Amandahugginkizz]

This is so helpful. I dont know what joy feels like, self love, human connection, emotional regulation, I am just a empty shell inside i feel nothing. I love my kids but honestly I dont feel any emotions except worry when they get away from me, but cant feel happyness or deep love and it scares me

[@marcies1297]

Hey I just wanted to suggest..maybe youre in survival mode. Its hard to access a range of emotions when you're concerned for your safety and survival?!?

[@nadiaali8321]

Thank you for this.. I like how you separated discipline from self-care!

[@soleluna2012]

Just had an AHA moment. This was exactly what I needed. THANK YOU for sharing your knowledge. 🙏❤

[@le_th_]

I didn't struggle with discipline, self-care, or joy until I developed PTSD as a 47+ year old adult. That makes me wonder if all these adults and young people struggling with this had PTSD as children that was never treated? For me personally, I don't struggle w/emotional regulation. So I would exchange that for nurturing/compassion for myself and how long it has taken to fully heal from the PTSD and get my life back on track again.

[@trace6722]

Fantastic! Very helpful! Love the whiteboard while explaining!

[@StephAnie-qd7pv]

Compounding value. ♡

[@LoveBeliefTruth]

Oh God! She knows me inside out!

[@rissa_keeps_going]

Found this through your Instagram account. Thank you for your content. This is life changing for everyone in the world.

[@wesmacdonald960]

Thanks for doing these videos! With all the uncertainty lately, I realized that I have a lot of holes in my self care/ awareness and this is amazing. 🙏🏼

[@sumanpreetkaur5545]

Keep it up! I am thankful for running into your stuff online!

[@linacomet]

Wonderful! Thank you for your excellent videos. Literally, I feel that you are talking to me in each of them. Mental and Emotional Health is so important. I wish you reach all of us around the world! We need your contents! ❤️

[@natasaj]

Short, but so powerful. Thank you

[@sarahgartner253]

Hey Nicole, love these. I agree 100% with all ive heard. But i have a q re different love or degrees of love and attention between a parent and their different children. My mom was very detached from me emotionally, but not my lil sis especially. So i find it very hard to give her love now despite yrs of inner awakening and my always being a deeply compassionate person to others my whole life... i dont think shes to blame nor that i didnt make mistakes but its something i felt my whole life, from age 7 onwards and my physical reality is very different to my sisters too - i had physical, sexual, emotional trauma from my close relationships as a child which were replicated in my late onset adult ones which my sisters didnt at all. So its hard for me to feel safe with any of my family and thus i have pulled away as you have mentioned you have

[@vivianamencocco5205]

Thank you so much for all the inspiration and Validation and Empowerment. It really helps me to Focus on it each day a bit more and more over time and to Trust my Process.

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Trust the process!! You are a powerful being. Much love to you.

[@jenniferchiodini5753]

Good practical starting point, thank you!

[@jasminewoods9801]

I’m so grateful for you.

[@pskarbinski]

Thank you for your wonderful videos! Super grateful!

[@giselli93]

Thank you for all that you do. I've been experiencing such a different shift after a really rough break up and realizing some of my childhood traumas. I've been using your tips and ego work tools as well and it has made all the difference in my life in just a month. Thank you thank you

[@CreedofAbraham]

You're a beautiful soul and I love you, thank you for this

[@elizamassey5007]

Loved this video, you explained everything so well. Thank you! :)

[@maddyolive5985]

I feel so conflicted because I experience quite a bit of anger towards my mother for how she handled things when I was younger. Left me feeling worthless and like I was just shit on the bottom of everyones shoes... but at the same time I know she was trying her best with what information she had. She's often told my sisters and I that she felt like she was growing up with us, like she was our sister too.

[@earthmamawellspringofchris2348]

Thank you!💙💛🙏🏻🙂

[@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry]

Hugely helpful! Thank you!

[@markodejanovic1635]

Great tipps, most of them I'm already practicing. Thank you❤

[@amittiwari-zu2lv]

Lots of love

[@LoveBeliefTruth]

My biggest challange’s are 1. and 3. Nowadays especially 3. as my anxiety and mistrust of people, hardship with dealing both being liked and also even minore adversities, stem from true horror of intimacy - has developed into avoidant-ptsd level symptoms. I’m a quitter. I quit relationships and interactions as fast as I flush the toilet.

[@coachefty]

Beautiful thank you

[@havensmuse]

Thank you for these videos...finding applicable advice for this kind of stuff is hard. Thankful to have access to it!

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Hi Haley! Thanks so much for watching.

[@Southernsunsetters]

The Holistic Psychologist Have you made a video discussing your process for discovering your interests?

[@NallahBrown]

I'm so excited that I found your channel. I'm so excited to explore your content ☺️🙏🏿✨

[@yourtruename]

Thank you ❤❤❤

[@Innocence-v2s]

You're Amazing Thank you so much

[@surrenderinfaith]

Awesome! I am in the process of doing this right now and writing an article on it. Will be using this video, thank you!

[@biancaaustin5859]

THANK YOU! ❤

[@priyaanand9342]

Brilliantly explained!!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom!!! Love this ❤️

[@vindhyapoosham444]

Love you Nicole... ❤️ Love from INDIA...✨

[@theyinlounge]

Gorgeous breakdown. Namaste sister🌹

[@elleipsisX]

Would you mind sharing how you developed your interests and hobbies, as the process you went through might encourage others? I for one have great trouble identifying them; I identify with all the symptoms of 'trauma brain' you described in your video. It never occurred to me to check in with myself regarding my likes and dislikes.. And I really don't know how, when I either don't feel anything or dislike everything.

[@jennyfergonzalez4159]

ask yourself questions! “do i want to continue?” “am i having fun?” “how am i feeling?”

[@doubtyea]

what do you remember liking as a kid? did you like drawing/coloring, reading/learning, creating fantasies?

[@theoriginal8106]

Thank you sooo much for this. 🙇🏾‍♀️🙇🏾‍♀️🙇🏾‍♀️

[@SiyahMordecai]

Thnx for the short vids on these topic I'm a busy person that has limited time for media

[@dodo-e4x]

I was neglected, completely unseen, humiliated, and was being told by my mother that I am ugly and nobody is gonna accept me.

[@roots4140]

Sending love to you now.

[@dermottjohn6809]

This has been very helpful to me . Thank you

[@omardelmar]

Thank you for this

[@sovereignbrother]

Brought me to tears...

[@shruti7876]

I found you today and I'm so glad! thank you for helping us. Execited to go on this self improvement journey!

[@jusrosado]

Uau. This was amazing. So clear, so powerful . Thank you =)

[@myrabazell4620]

so good!

[@buse5231]

thank you for this such well informed video i appriciate the timing is soo good for us to concanterate even more deeply have a nice day xx :)

[@red-nt2cx]

thank you

[@mn5900]

I love your channel and i love you in dark hair

[@sandymanrique2902]

Love your energy! Great information❤️

[@MsLaBajo]

OMG going out is so real. What is even a Friday night? I can’t find d a balance. I started reparenting seriously a few months after reading the book and bc my therapist left the practice and I feel like I don’t see anyone socially anymore. #1 and #4 are taking over my whole life. It’s like reparenting is a lifestyle. Help!

[@kaistevens7668]

Could you possibly create a guided meditation!!??? I find it really hard to do the traditional blank mind meditation - maybe a guided breath work also? This would be so incredibly helpful! Or if anyone has any recommendations for meditations or breath-work help that has worked for you let me know!

[@kaistevens7668]

Just saw that you have videos about both of these things!!!!!!!!! 😂😂 asl and you shall receive!! Thank you so much for all of this amazing content! Sharing with everyone I know!

[@TheHolisticPsychologist]

Hi! Thank you SO much for your support.

[@beforeiforget5113]

This is so helpful! Thank you

[@lindahawkins5205]

Thank you. 🙏

[@Amanda-hw3zj]

As a person who has borderline personality disorder, your videos are truly incredible! I still need to finsih reading The Illustrated Happiness Trap, have you ever heard of it? I know you'd love the tools it discusses :} Anyway, thanks Nicole!

[@bongiwemaqolo9194]

I need to get back here

[@praague]

I love love love this! thank you!

[@konsciouslykerri3797]

Thank you for this! Your messages resonate with me so much!

[@maria.1c1313]

Such an amazing video, thank you so much! 🙏💛🌹✨