Here's What It FEELS LIKE When Your Nervous System Is Dysregulated

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Dysregulation is a core symptom of Complex-PTSD. If you had a rough childhood, you may have thought these symptoms were your fault -- personal failings that you're ashamed you haven't changed yet. Once you know the normal signs that childhood trauma has impacted you, you can drop the guilt and learn to adopt workarounds that help you re-regulate and solve life's problems.
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[@theblissfulcanuck]

I did not know i was experiencing dysregulation until I watched your videos. It has been extremely difficult navigating through life the past several years, but I will be much kinder and more patient with myself going forward with this information. Thank you. ❤️ 😊

[@evettabush3435]

Yes, learning to be kinder and more patient with myself is something I'm working on, too. The information here is good to help me do that

[@maryatvan]

Dear Blissful Canuck, treating yourself with kindness is truly a comforting ✨️ blanket of nurture dealing with the curative healing nature. Another very effective reconditioning is this. Light a candle in a cozy space where lights are dimmed. In a compfy chair, by a fireside, a hot tub or out in Nature near waterside or perhaps a pastural setting or vista view. Anywhere where solace and a peaceful place surrenders a safe quiet haven. Come into this place knowing within you is everything you need. Nothing can separate you from the all-in-all that has been present all along. Here, you may play soft music in the background or be listening to birds above, water and waves, or the wind in the willows. Let the present become your gift as you breathe in deeply the life given breath. Becme aware as a gentle tranquil calm slowly welcomes your senses...remind yourself to let it be the breath that guides this moment. Here, the recreation of the knowing healer dwells within. You were borne with a belonging long before you were born. There is a wellbeing created as your guided inner self begins to emerges to meet and greet your world with a strength of newfound wholeness. Blessing as your will leads the way to fall in love with the beautiful person you are. ♡

[@talkingdoc]

@@maryatvan Mary that was beautiful. May I copy/paste and send it to friends?

[@HeartFeltGesture]

Me too, although I knew something was seriously non-regular! I could tell I was the only one white-knuckling it, screaming on the inside while people tried to hold casual conversation with me....sheesh, what a nightmare. I can relate to being emotionally flat and only trying to contort my face into the appropriate responses, but not feeling connected to it. Incapable of a genuine laugh or smile. Its what we were trained to do, to deny / ignore our true feelings and emotions, because the narcissist wouldnt allow us to have our own feelings, it was too inconvenient for the selfish bastards. They just wanted to dominate us and traumatize us and not hear about how that felt. Meditation, good diet, exercise, nature - sunshine and fresh air, doing things you enjoy, good sleep, good company, self-love - self-empathy, learning to see yourself once removed, how would you feel about seeing a poor animal with its leg caught in a trap - thats us! Be gentle and kind to yourself. We have been royally fucked by our dickhead parents and siblings etc, but people are too busy and self-involved to care, and their caring isnt enough anyway, we have to care and be there for ourselves now, and do everything our intuition tells us is the right thing.

[@maryatvan]

@@talkingdoc Dear Critty Crumb ♡ yes you may copy and paste this as you like. I love when your shared Spirit lights the way.

[@Dan_Chiron]

A major sign that I'm dysregulated is an urge to run away. I have the ability of acting "normal", but inside I feel this need of running away, even I start making crazy plans in my head on how can I leave to another house or another city...

[@toiletrollholder]

Gosh yes, I'm often thinking of running away too 👍

[@wintertontoday]

Same, but I wouldn't call the plans on moving to another house/city 'crazy'. It's probably understandable.

[@Dan_Chiron]

@@wintertontoday I described them as 'crazy' because those are not really plans, but impulse driven thoughts. For example, if I had an argument with my partner, I start thinking who can take care of my pet while I run to the bus station so he can't find me when he gets home. That might sound reasonable, except my partner is not violent/abusive in any way. I can recognize now that these signs of imminent danger my brain is sending me are false, they are an echo of past trauma, and running out like a scared deer could, indeed, get me into a risky situation.

[@asabovesobelow7981]

ditto argh

[@Eternalsunshinejewelry]

triggers flight o flight

[@sawdustadikt979]

I’m a self employed carpenter and have been working outside for over 30 years. Most of my injuries came from the high level of distraction of a disregulated state from what was going on at home, or on the job site. It was always from dumb details that were missed that I would never miss. Almost all of these instances were from working for highly narcissistic clients and contractors. Being raised in a narcissistic family system, I’m entirely to triggered by these manipulative situations despite decades of therapists and coaching. I am far better now than I ever was but if I see to many red flags I’m out. I’ll turn down work that I desperately need and terminate contracts when I see this kind of abuse being directed at me. I have it in my contract. I treat everyone with great respect and consideration, I will not be abused, threatened or disrespected. Life is painfully short. I will not give a second of what time I have left to this of shenanigans if can help it.

[@23angelpie]

Wow way to go!

[@DustyTowne]

That's fascinating- I'm so glad that you made the connection and have drawn strong boundaries to avoid having triggering people in your life. It's something to aspire to.

[@Natash_007]

I have a new business in a related industry and I'm going to try so hard to follow your policy. It's so smart to do this.

[@terrylynndelman]

I agree & admire you for the strength to have this stance, our mental health is far more important than the money. I believe that God honors this & makes our way prosperous, without abuse & damage to our health, as we use our gifts for his glory! Keep strong my friend! Bless you & the work of your hands, while keeping your sanity in tact!

[@sawdustadikt979]

@@DustyTowne it’s not foolproof, and I have a lot more to learn and implement. But being curiously relentless has gotten me far.

[@janiceshayne8193]

As a psychotherapist, I am so happy to hear you explain that meds are not necessarily the answer. There are ways to heal from CPTSD without chemical dependency, which can lead to other issues. You are doing great work! Cheers to you!

[@amyvanslambrook]

Yes! As a Fellow psychotherapist/trauma specialist I feel the same. Thank you! You’re not only helping others heal but your own beautiful soul as well ❤

[@ADDAuntDawnDisorder]

Yes! Meds only help for a period of time & sometimes they don’t help… then changes become nec & mixtures with other meds & additions & cleansing from all, etc… I’m not willing to endure the side effects & you never know how any med will make you feel.🙏💪The AMA is taught to write an Rx for every ailment.

[@velevetyyflies]

feel awesome n alive off meds. dont know why we think its ok to carelessly give out not only ssris but antipsychotics and benzos

[@SummerLove316]

Their are many ways to get through CPTSD without meds & way to get off those meds very quickly without withdrawal. I went through some very hard times & never thought I could ever feel better but after one session it was like the weight/pain from all this bad stuff went away.

[@CubanMelanin]

The meds as a patient are pushed sooooo heavy and when you let them know the meds are making you worse you are told you are not taking them or in my case they increase them or come up with a cocktail of meds to fix another issue the previous med makes worse only to finally be finally herd and placed in dbt it’s been a long battle but making progress the system here in FL is poor

[@katiekane5247]

At 64, I figured out this week why I crave being alone & doing everything by myself. No matter who I'm around, I still feel like I'm being judged, I don't think others understand constantly feeling like you're about to be blamed, shamed or minimized for your efforts. It's exhausting! I finally was disabled because while a dedicated employee, I just couldn't cope with those I worked with. I should have been accommodated as anyone else with a disability. If just allowed to do my job, I needed no supervision & wasn't ever lazy or a time waster. I was fired more than once for working while supposed to be on break. Once because others took longer to do my job on my days off! I'm unable to accept poor performance in myself or others & I'm still working on feeling good enough. Thirty years of antidepressants were a waste, much of talk therapy wasn't much better. I only survived due to my tenacity to do what others thought I couldn't.

[@roxannedowling6645]

That's me

[@cecenelson2194]

Me too!

[@marinalina6348]

The feeling like you are constantly watched

[@aw7331]

I feel this

[@caprilefevre404]

I think you have been watching me all my life,wow! This is giving me so many epiphanies about my health, from my chronic hypertension to the tinnitus and vertigo and now chronic kidney disease! It feels like I've had a giant boil, or abscess growing inside all these years!

[@vidamariaixchel4962]

I wake up disregulated EVERY single day!! I would’nt even know how it feels to NOT be disregulated... Maybe that’s why I isolate myself. ( Having no family or friends, days go by without speaking to anybody but my cat ) The torture never ends. 🙄

[@arlettasloan6453]

Ah! It's a pity we don't live closer. We could visit each other and watch a movie while not talking to anyone but your cat, and both feel less isolated but still alone enough to cope. Maybe there's someone close...

[@heathersoper6923]

I know exactly how you feel because I'm the same .

[@heathersoper6923]

@@nephilimshammer9567 a lovely cat came into my harden every day and it took my heart, she was beautiful, I fed her not knowing if she was a stray, this was a couple of years ago now, she waits for me every morning BUT she won’t let me stroke her, she’s very disregulated too, very nervous, it’s such a pity.

[@carolbaumann9149]

I agree and am right there with you. Felt like I wrote what you said. Be strong friend.

[@monicarose2135]

Nothing like a Cat to soothe the soul

[@JennyEliz_IstheShiz]

They should teach this in elementary schools, mandatory for all. I grieve all that I could have accomplished if only I had known this 25 years ago. Since my childhood PTSD was correctly diagnosed and treated, my life has become immeasurably better.

[@maureenobrien9815]

That's truly the sad part, isn't it?

[@stevejarosz8136]

Nothing is wasted. You were lucky to figure it out.

[@thiscorrosion900]

I think the problem is two-fold: A. a lot of these issues and the solutions or therapy to/for them, weren't known 30-50 years ago. B. a lot of professionals therapists, etc., aren't as educated on them as they should be. Diagnoses can be missed, ignored, misdiagnosed, for years or decades. It happens all the time.

[@Riona146]

I agree! We have health classes, but we don’t talk about mental health enough! Mindfulness and these kinds of things could easily be added into science and health

[@FrancisXLord]

Somebody made the mistake of holding a surprise birthday party for me a few years ago. They couldn't have known that I would spend the entire night in a corner, socially paralysed. I felt terrible for them, they were trying to be nice and I didn't feel that I could even explain my own behaviour to them. I'd never had a birthday party, no not even growing up. In recent years I've become aware of my own social deficiencies. That it isn't that I prefer my own company - that was just something I told myself so I didn't have to try and socialise with others. In attempting to socialise it feels like there's this terrifically high wall that I have to climb. It's like I climb it but always run out of steam before I reach the top. Socialising is spiritually exhausting.

[@arlettasloan6453]

It sure is! Also, I have come to realize that because I am waiting for someone to attack or show me they won't, or whatever awful thing will or won't be taking place that usually does, I give the impression to other people that I am judging them or not enjoying their company because I find fault with them. That makes me feel very sad for them, but, also frustrated and sad for me.

[@Tina-xe8nf]

This happened to me too. I feel your pain. Awful.🙃

[@BranchDavidian-]

Exactly well said

[@Natash_007]

Sorry. One more comment to add. When I was psychotic my reactions to everything were wildly off. I would laugh at the most awful things. This was very damaging socially. My PTSD was so bad I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I don't think this is talked about enough. I think for those of us who were abused as small children it's very very hard to ever find regulation. There was never a moment in my childhood I felt safe. So I had no foundation to work from. Now that I am finally functioning better after many years of work I still can only feel relaxed for moments at a time, but at least now I have something to build on. No matter how sick you become there is always a way back. If I made it anyone can.

[@annemurphy8074]

So good to hear that you made it as well as you did. It is so very challenging. I (we) have D.I.D and were never, ever safe either and we are doing our best to recover as much as I (we) possibly can. Our system sometimes goes through rapid switching when too stressed or when a new part has been discovered and repressed memories are first returning. It can be very challenging, especially when parts that have severe mind control/programming that was installed by the trafficking ring come out. We were adopted at 14 months into a family of organized crime that ran a child trafficking ring and we were trafficked from age 2 into 20's. We have come a long way and have dismantled most of it now, thank goodness. It was so scary, especially the self destruct programming that they layered all through our system which was supposed to go off if we ever remembered everything or if we broke our silence, which we did.

[@timmywitty1432]

@@annemurphy8074 l am so sorry you went through that, l hope you are safe now and deprogramming. May the Divine bless you!

[@annemurphy8074]

@@timmywitty1432 Thank you, we are safe and well along in our healing process now.

[@theanonymoushelpline7248]

@@annemurphy8074 I’m sorry you went through this. You are so strong! You can literally write a book. May GOD continue to shower you with an abundance of love.

[@annemurphy8074]

@@theanonymoushelpline7248 Thank you. Actually, a book was just published in March but it's in French. A journalist for CBC Canada did a story on our journey with D.I.D and the biggest publishing company in Quebec saw it, tracked down the journalist and asked if we would work together to do a whole book. So our D.I.D system worked with the same journalist that did the original story to get it done, it took 2 years. Now in talks for a possible movie or documentary. It's incredible because we didn't go looking for any of this but it's making a difference, shining a light on an important subject and helping other's. The hell we lived through is being used for good.❤

[@penelopedarling]

I think I spent my entire teenage years and twenties dysregulated.

[@wintertontoday]

Same.... 😪❣

[@lauranorn99]

SAME

[@2listening1]

💛🕯💝

[@antoninagunkokarelina7133]

That's me

[@savannahjones4195]

How do I stop?

[@LindyTube]

This was the video I needed 6 hours ago 🙄 escalated an argument with my abusive mom while triggered. Who did it help? Not me, that's for sure.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

We all do it💔💚

[@DarthFurie]

Hope you're doing better now ❤️

[@pinkyhc4130]

Its so hard, but I believe in you. Everyone who's experienced an abusive parent knows how that feels

[@joemama2499]

I argued with my abusive mom yesterday 😀 happens to the best of us

[@manda_musings8459]

I fight with her in my head and dreams daily. She haunts me even in death. Or maybe especially so

[@ALT-vz3jn]

When I’m dysregulated I freeze and mentally check out; I use to have serious panic attacks but fortunately as I’ve gotten older and processed some things those have stopped but I still have the complete overwhelm and freezing up. I direct everything internally as I was taught as a child that I was the ‘bad’ one. So I don’t vent on others, I beat myself up instead.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are not alone -Cara@TeamFairy

[@lililoladzinergrl5255]

This sounds like I wrote it! It’s key that we change our self talk to ourselves- easier said than done but we are not alone in this.(thank you for sharing😊)

[@caratranby30]

I could of written this myself

[@annalieb2075]

I can relate to this.

[@Nettie361]

Can you believe that I recently realised that I spent the first 50 years being disregulated. I was fostered and believe the separation from my mother was the original trauma. I felt physically & mentally punished by everyone around me throughout my childhood for not being a grounded child. At 50 I began to realise I’m not a freak and I think I’m more regulated. This is such an important subject. I’m lucky, my life’s been hard but I didn’t end up in a really bad situation (prison for example). To me it felt like walking with the breaks on. Everything so much more effort than I could see it was for others. With more understanding and help healing, I really believe the world could be better. Thanks fir talking about this. I’m also an Anna ❤

[@Nettie361]

& yes having choice is something I didn’t have before. Relationships out of the question. No one understands any of this that I know. They think I’m a loser😢

[@andrearaven6307]

I relate to your comment so much. I'm 50 & just seeing the truth as well. We're not crazy. It's comforting to know we're not alone. I wish you all the best, you deserve it!

[@Nettie361]

@@andrearaven6307 thank you. I wish the very best for you going forward also!

[@Swist1213]

Me, too. I used it to cope then and I'm using it to cope now. Sadly, I don't see the point of trying to come out of it as it is a form of protection for me from being hurt. But I wish that I would stop losing things! lol It's interesting about the handwriting changes. I noticed it but never tied it in. I never felt like I fit in anywhere and that people can pick up on that there's something off about me. So I am excluded from the 'pack' just like animals do when another animal is injured or has disabilities.

[@Natash_007]

I can absolutely believe that. I've spent my whole life disregulated. I can count the times on one hand that I have felt "regulated". I had to train myself to function even when disregulated. I think my system is just stuck on that state. I've had so many years of therapy but it persists. I've tried to make peace with it. My business clients know that I am going to take the time I need to finish a job, and that depending on the day that time will vary.

[@pattystueber9655]

I’m such a people pleaser that i sabotage myself feeling like such a fraud. I’m usually thinking if these people really knew me , they’d run away. I am overridden with guilt all the time. I can’t wait til i’m home alone again and then i review my comportment to see if I was acceptable. People find me entertaining and like my company but if they really knew my pain. I cannot describe how living like this my whole life and never able to change the damage to my subconscious. I’m old now and disappointed in myself. Parents and siblings were the saboteurs. The motivational speakers make it sound like you can reverse the damage. Lord knows I’ve tried.

[@genxreactions]

My animals I have including rescued and handicap made the biggest difference In my happiness and I can be myself.

[@MX1.1.]

I repeatedly find myself disregulated when I go to the supermarket. My social anxiety takes over and sometimes I forget what I am even looking for in the first place. A grocery list I can rely on usually helps.

[@caratranby30]

This is 💯 me also

[@silvergirl2847]

This why i do online grocery shopping is a life saver.

[@MX1.1.]

@@silvergirl2847 definitely worth the money

[@monicarose2135]

Try going early in the day when there are fewer people & listening to your own music as well, that combo helps me feel more serene.

[@MX1.1.]

@@monicarose2135 thanks 😊❤️

[@lizziebjl]

Argh, I had a terrible time with this last week. I was walking my dog at 7:30 at night along the road (there are no sidewalks). I’m on the correct side, carrying a flashlight, when a cop pulls up and starts questioning me! I was livid, had tunnel vision, couldn’t breathe. I even called the station in a rage. I couldn’t think straight for days.

[@Alexcutspie]

You might withdraw Get silent Get confused Say things Freak out Or doing something impulsive Yes Alex, All of The Above for 300

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

haha good one :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@ellenbruckermarshall4179]

Accurate description of why I need a few hours or days to understand how I feel about something.

[@MM-nh8ez]

I often seem to need many months to process things. It can be very difficult especially when I am trying to work through things in therapy… but there’s so much that is not available to me.

[@CarissaMurphy]

I'm so glad you mentioned the link between trauma and ADHD symptoms, because I was totally unaware and it makes so much sense

[@artemispapandopoulou2461]

Gabor Maté speaks lots about it.

[@sc150000]

This.

[@Iisrupac]

Autism, ADHD, BPD, bipolar, NPD, sociopathy. The symptoms for all seem to overlap 🤔 maybe it's just trauma ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[@MyMerryMessyGermanLife]

@@Iisrupacthat could be true in the cases where there is trauma. But there are many kids getting diagnosed with these things who come from safe and loving families.

[@radelsayago]

​@@MyMerryMessyGermanLiferoot cause of ADHD can vary widely and can be intertwined with other issues from what I've read but to answer your question with a question, are those kids raised in a safe and loving family spending much time on blue screens?

[@sonorasenora5911]

Oh i know when im dysregulated ...if I'm breathing.. this is hell on earth

[@elizabethivy1337]

I did not realize until now that dysregulation was something with which I was struggling. When I was raised, I was often told I was too sensitive, or received a lot of disapproval for showing strong emotions. The emotions never went away, but I just learned to cover what I was feeling behind a mask of mildness. However, there have been many moments during particularly triggering situations where it felt like I had no control whatsoever. I could plan out how I wanted to respond to someone in a very logical way, but as soon as I entered the situation itself, all of that flew out the window. It usually resulted in a lot of shame and guilt over how I had acted. It felt like and still feels like I just continually failed at managing my emotions whereas others seemed to do so naturally without great thought or effort. Not to mention that the rest of the time, if my emotions aren't flaring into the stratosphere, I often feel numb unless I'm frustrated or lonely. Instructions to listen to my emotions and be in tune with my body are always confusing because it's like telling someone to listen to music when their headphones are out of battery.

[@Liminal-Escalator]

I've learned what things make me hit the freeze fight or flee reaction and to leave those situations that couldn't be avoided. A lot of time people with issues like this are treated like they're just cowards that run away from things instead of confronting them or its all in their head. Well sometimes pushing yourself to stay in a situation that you intuit you need to leave you can black out of normal functions and melt down.

[@thoughtsonredbudhill]

Did I write this comment? 😳 I relate to this so much.

[@Saltysweetpea4769]

Yep same

[@chrissialex6790]

Hell yeah

[@iamlunalane]

"Our handwriting changes" omg yes yes yes!! I can go from written to cursive within the same word... thanks for shedding light on this strange habit of mine 😂

[@Natash_007]

On protein. When I first had my psychotic break (the ultimate disregulation) I felt my whole body turning to concrete. I knew with complete certainty that whatever was happening to me would be permanent if I didn't break out of it somehow. I learned later that I was becoming catatonic. The only way I can describe it is that it felt like a door was closing that would never open again. At that moment I had the strongest instinct I've ever had to ground myself. My brain screamed at me to ground. Everything was red tinged. I grabbed a handful of chopped nuts and started eating them like a lunatic. After the third handful the door stopped closing and my body started unclenching. I have no doubt that those nuts saved me. My psychosis lasted many years but I never felt that horrible closing down feeling again. Now that I am recovered I think about that experience often.

[@k8eekatt]

I'm so glad you made it through back to this side.

[@k8eekatt]

@@annemurphy8074 thank you for your kind support, Anne. I have not experienced this, I was encouraging the original commenter. 💓 blessed be in this new year😁

[@annemurphy8074]

How frightening and you made it through!! I believe fleeing into psychosis or a catatonic state is an attempt to stay safe, an attempt to cope when overwhelm is far too much and cannot be coped with. It's a form of protection.

[@annemurphy8074]

@@k8eekatt Oops, that reply was meant for the original comment. I'll fix it.

[@Natash_007]

@@annemurphy8074 Thank you for your kind words Anne! I think your description of the reason for psychosis is fairly accurate. It's certainly a byproduct of complete flooding and a desperate attempt to protect a disintegrating psyche. Unfortunately, it's like a person who, to escape from a hungry tiger, jumps off a 1,000 foot cliff into the ocean. You've escaped the tiger but now you are lost at sea. Psychosis is deadly dangerous and most don't ever make it out. Or they end up so heavily medicated for life it doesn't matter. The first three years were the worst. I was a very successful young adult when I had my break, ready to start my career of choice. After my break, all these years later I'm still just a shadow of what I could have been. But I don't care. It's like being back from 17 years in hell. My mental state was so horrifying for so long I'm just beyond grateful that the years of work paid off and I'm largely sane, functional and working again. It feels like heaven. I hate to overshare here but I know I'm not the only one with PTSD bad enough to create long term psychosis. I'm hoping that someone reads this and finds it helpful.

[@rhiannalopez3805]

I developed social anxiety from my CPTSD. It’s much harder for me to know what to say in conversations and sound confident when deep down I freak out and ask myself why I’m this way. I can’t pronounce certain words sometimes, I jumble up or mix the letters/ meanings of words, my memories distorted, I live in constant fear of criticism, I can’t be myself because 9 years ago I lost that part of me, sometimes I don’t feel real and sometimes I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I have a hard time expressing and saying what I want to say all the time. I’ve gotten better at this since It was much worse before. I wouldn’t have Ben really talk. I talk more and it feels less difficult but it’s still very hard to talk most times. I lost my sense of self after enduring so much psychological abuse. I’m trying so hard to be my real self. I dabble in spirituality/Taoism and use that as a tool to find meaning in my life. Thank you so much for this insight! ❤

[@itchyorgans]

I'm the exact same way, but I'm also extremely sensitive to touch and some textures make me go numb, and unreasonably paranoid. I don't want to self diagnose, but I know this isn't normal. No one believes me though and my mom thinks I'm playing victim and making stuff up for attention. Edit: I worded that weird. The textures and paranoia are two separate things. I'm constantly paranoid that something bad will happen at every little second, that I'll be attacked or that people are always watching me and judging me.

[@wyldwyrdwytch]

Social anxiety is the clincher for me. The smallest interaction plagues me for sometimes months (and, yeah, years too 😒) afterwards. Haunted by my own inadequacies. I usually avoid people, preferring to remain withdrawn . . Or I think we're best friends because they said something kind. I have zero boundaries and never know what is appropriate. I want to feel OK around people. I just have no idea how to.

[@mwendesworld]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@wyldwyrdwytchI could’ve written this comment myself honestly, I hope you’re doing well and thanks for helping me remember that I’m not alone or some sort of anomaly. Been doing a lot of journaling this year and looking back a lot of the recurring issues I’ve had are linked to topics discussed in this channel. I’m honestly grateful I’ve found this community and for people like you sharing your stories and making me feel seen. For the longest time I just thought there was something wrong with me, kind of like an inherent flaw that had no explanation, it’s been such a relief to know that that isn’t true. Sending you lots of love ❤

[@traceechislett8463]

Hi Sweetheart I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through I feel to share with you that Jesus is the answer for you! The bible says “When you find the Truth, the Truth will set you free” The bible is the only truth , all other spiritually is man made Jesus was God in flesh and died on a cross for you to save you and to heal you mentally and physically God says if you seek him with all your hearts, you will find him I pray you do that and are set free healed while and saved ❤✝️

[@chrissialex6790]

@@wyldwyrdwytchoh yes, Perfect description. We are many….

[@melissacole4903]

Yes! My handwriting changes. I do get the blank expression too. My friend calls it “going away”. I didn’t realize I was doing it! Almost seems like a small seizure.

[@CJC777]

Wow I did that too when I was a child I remember I was scolded in school for daydreaming ...Looking out the window not paying attention. Took a moment to bring me back to reality 😞 My mom was a Alcoholic, dad never around and always hurtful 💔 when he did come home .. mom knew he was always messing around with someone... sad and confusing situation

[@steph6337]

I was researching PNES seizures as I worry that's what was happening with me. "Going away" seems exactly how I would describe what's happening. Any tips to help you come out of it?

[@hannahcommean2232]

Yep, if have always felt like when it happens that I'm just not really here.. like my body is, but not my brain

[@MsGenXodus]

Dysregulation for me often results in fainting. This started happening in my mid 40’s when I ended up on the ground one day when a customer was yelling about something in my office. I blamed dehydration at the time. When it happened again under similar circumstances, I started calling the fainting spells a panic attack. My doctor agreed and recommended benzos, but I was worried about addiction, so I took therapy instead.

[@hellcat1401]

This happens to me. It's happened twice so far and it always starts with my back locking up, then I faint from the pain and then I'm told I convulse.

[@joanneorwell9680]

Hi there I think that it is worth you getting checked for Pots condition

[@TEM14411]

Yes. This started for me as a teenager. Typically out in public....passing out. Needing stiches. Everyone assumes a teenage girl is pregnant or has an eating disorder. I wondered about it for years. As I have healed, it seems so apparent to me that it was a biological response to childhood trauma. Trauma as it relates to the nervous system and body is incredibly profound.

[@Alexcutspie]

I find explaining myself very difficult. So when you say sentences that feel like you’ve put a definition to my feelings it provides me a lot of comfort. I was shut down in times that advocating for myself may have gotten me out of a lot less trouble and I find that being youngest you’re a scapegoat for blame and learned complacency feels like an emotional straight jacket. I’ve grown complacent.

[@machtnichtsseimann]

Can relate. Fellow scapegoat here, youngest. Nerves act up when considering bringing up a problem and engaging in conflict ( cold be mild disagreement ), but with clumsy steps, trial/error, over time progress has come in terms of gaining strength and assertiveness. I used to be quiet in groups, absorbing others' opinions and letting it all sink in, which is great on the one hand, but on the other hand it continues the almost erasure of my presence and voice. There came a time where my opinion finally had to be stated, accompanied with the risk of disagreement and/or rejection, and choosing against total conformity. It was uncomfortable, there was some rejection ( to this day ), yet the clarity of walking in Truth and Power was / is worth it. ( Who wants to be loved and accepted for who they are not? I don't! ) Not arrived, still see room for growth and maturitation, but may my life story serve you with some encouragement to exercise your mental / emotional muscles.

[@Alexcutspie]

@@machtnichtsseimann I appreciate your reply

[@sheromas5751]

Same. Whenever I’m upset or someone is saying something really serious that’s upsetting, i shut down. It seems like I’m totally blank and don’t care. Even in situations where someone is being mean or hurtful to me, it only occurs to me later when it’s too late for me to stand up for myself. It’s like I’m unconscious and then I come alive with all the emotions flooding in. Youngest kid, always the scapegoat

[@arlettasloan6453]

"..and I find that being youngest you're a scapegoat for blame..." That should be on a t-shirt, perhaps with a picture of Dewey (Malcom in the Middle) and a word balloon coming from him to hold it in. If you haven't watched Malcolm in the Middle, you might enjoy it. Dewey is an amazing character. First time I saw any signficant truth to how the youngest child's life goes, when he was the youngest child that is.

[@lovejoy71422]

​@@sheromas5751 A delayed reaction to your emotions because you cannot absorb what is coming at you at the time.

[@missyr8056]

Yes! I have learned when to walk out of the room during an argument because I can feel myself getting to the point where I am going to lose complete control over my body. It feels like someone else is piloting me.

[@liztowers2058]

Omg.....this helped me so much. Here I was thinking what's wrong with me?? I'm riddeled with anxiety and I can't focus. Everyone thought I had ADHD as a child. I go blank when I'm stressed and just stare and don't blind. But inside I'm freaking out. I have work issues. I find it hard to keep a job and I make stupid decisions at times. I'm always spacey and wandering thru life. I have 203 projects and only 4 done. If I'm not crying, im shouting or I'd rather be alone all day. Feet and hands go numb when I get this way ...I wake up daily like this. Childhood was filled with arguing. Belt hitting and BS. Teens were filled with random sex and booze and drugs. And now as an adult....I find it hard to live normally.combine that with perimenopause and boom...horrible combo! This helped a LOT.!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad that it helped! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@erinm3567]

I was in my friend's wedding years ago and while other people would have felt excited and enjoyed the getting ready experience etc., I was full of fear and self consciousness. I'm glad I went through with it but I was hella dysregulated and was in the middle of addiction at the time. An example of me trying to make sure my facial expression was matching my feelings and the situation is when my friend who I'd been out of touch with for years told me her dad is paralyzed due to an accident at work. I was completely and genuinely shocked but I remember agonizing over whether my expressions were appropriate.

[@IndigenousPeacemaker]

Childhood PTSD can also be from the early death of a parent. I really like your idea of the "corner" hug. :) Thank you for all the strategies for self-regulation.

[@uptick888]

Ruth Jensen ty I just watched this video and totally relate since my Mom passed as a child don’t know if you had mother or father loss I have not found any other females who lost the Mom , more so the Dad. blessings

[@candacewithana4929]

Yep. I lost both my parent within 6 months, when I was 7. My little brother died a few years later.

[@jocelyntyree2507]

Yes this is my problem!

[@shannonsimmons4647]

So, I’ve known that I have CPTSD since I’ve learned what it was many many years ago. I haven’t tried therapy or healing because it seems so out of reach. I reached the part about stomping your feet and completely broke down sobbing and I don’t know if it’s because I finally maybe understand that I’m not completely broken with no hope of healing. Idk, but I can’t finish this video yet. God, this is so ridiculous and painful and terrifying all at the same time.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I completely understand. Learning about all of this can be incredibly overwhelming, even if the message is positive. We're here for you whenever you're ready to keep working towards healing :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@MKah-tb5yh]

In Russian, there is a wording for it: you „don‘t fit in your skin“. It has always been that feeling for me. Ironic, that they taught me the wording for the feelings that they were responsible for giving me.

[@lisahead6868]

My grandfather used to say I was very hard to read. I have spells of clumsiness and indecision. As a child my extremities would go numb and I’d sometimes feel like I’m falling down a bottomless pit.

[@anintellectualneanderthal2465]

My parents are either sociopathic or just don't understand social cues. It's strange to be a parent to your parents, or it's just consistent gaslighting.

[@carvingthecottonwood]

I journal every morning, aka 'morning pages', and I can tell now when I've woken up dysregulated because my handwriting is in fact different! You've gifted us with words and explanations and hands-on things to do... what a blessing to be understood.

[@debs3653]

H//

[@k8eekatt]

Morning pages are wonderful! I look forward to starting again and going on artist dates 😁

[@TheCombatartist]

I wondered the same! Dysregulated=cursive, regulated = printing

[@toiletrollholder]

I discovered I had CPTSD in 2019 but hadn't heard of dysregulation. This is what I experienced working for a really nasty high street bank this year. I lasted 2 months then had to leave because my brain regularly felt like it was shutting down to protect me. So glad I found Anna in recent months so now I understand what was going on. Thank you Anna ❤🙏👏

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you found Anna as well :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@laurenjames6630]

I’ve never felt so heard in my life! Thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching! Glad you are here. Nika@TeamFairy

[@phoenixrising4031]

That example of how it feels to be overwhelmed and everyone pulling at you from 100 directions. And everything is an emergency, and only you can help them ...and you are told you have to help them right now! And if you don't terrible things will happen.

[@Tamara-ol6fj]

I have been told before that I look like I don't care when in actual fact, it's the complete opposite that's happening - I care too much! I now realise that is a trauma reaction. I still don't have it under control, in fact, right now, I'm entirely dysregulated due to an ongoing family disagreement. My nervous system has shut down and I feel removed. Thank you for the videos. I'm still working on my daily practice 😉

[@helenbrogan6462]

This makes so much sense now. I seriously struggle to really listen to what people are saying to me when they speak. My brain is so full of other stuff I find it difficult to concentrate. Thanks for this ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We understand as few others can! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@cleocomyn2760]

Nothing like Christmas with a borderline mother and a toddler to cause disregulation

[@willcoleman2014]

Take heart Cleo, Christmas is over now, back to the normal disregulation ❤ take care..

[@hotfudgecake]

I've dreaded Christmas for years because of my mother , I know the feeling

[@melissacole4903]

Has anyone else experienced humming or long groan when sleeping or when falling asleep? Not snoring. Snoring is usually on inhale, humming/groaning is on exhale. I know it’s called catathrenia, and cause is unknown. Apparently there are no neurological changes during sleep studies. I do notice it happens when I feel dis-regulated; or under immense stress.

[@willcoleman2014]

Yeah I do Melissa. Usually on the edge of sleep when relaxation overrules tension in my breathing and throat. It’s never bothered me though.

[@melissacole4903]

@@willcoleman2014 thank you Will. It does not bother me - it was just different and new.

[@MeSelf-mh8dn]

I love this. Dysregulation is so difficult. I avoid social situations, am disconnected, social anxiety, have serious executive dysfunction issues but i don't take meds. I accept the way i am and understand and try to make small changes to my thoughts or actions or behaviors little by little. Over time you become better and have changed old patterns and behaviors and thoughts. Sometimes i forget to remind myself to think more positive or forget to do things differently so I'll tie or write something on my hands ti remind myself

[@User98681]

How are you doing now? I have the same problems as you. I am hoping it gets better with time as my nervous system heals

[@kristiinakapinen2071]

Huh. I’ve wondered what that GODAWFUL NOISE in my head is all about..Also losing things: shoes, keys, etc. Even down to my hands going numb. Thank you for this info & advice! Love from Finland🖤

[@toiletrollholder]

I can sometimes be holding my purse in my hand while looking into my handbag for my purse and feel an overwhelming sense of terror that my purse is lost or stolen 😱. That's when I know I need to do some work on my anxiety with a meditation of some sort 👍

[@kristiinakapinen2071]

@@toiletrollholder Omg that’s me with my phone and keys, every damn time I’m stepping out the door! I once found my phone in a kitchen cupboard 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@toiletrollholder]

@@kristiinakapinen2071 I can't shut my front door without physically holding my keys in my hands right in front of my face so I know I've got them 😀. It's so reassuring to know others have the same issue and that we're doing our best to get on with our lives 👍🙏❤

[@madamlt5758]

My mom and step dad would CONSTANTLY scream and yell at each other. One of my first memories was they drove my brother and I to Disneyland for vacation. Screamed at each other the whole way. The night before the park we were in bed and they were up yelling and screaming at each other. I remember THAT more than Disneyland. Also when my mom was gone (usually at work) my stepdad would beat me and my brother. But not in visible places. I must have been maybe 4 years old and I remember he punched me in my stomach so hard I couldn’t breathe and he got scared and was saying “it’s ok just breath, you’re ok” he knew he had really hurt me. My older brother who shared these experiences with me told me about abuse that I don’t even remember cause I was so small. My mom never found out about this until we were older because right before my mom would get back from work he would apologize to us and tell us not to tell mom and for some reason we never did. He was very manipulative and so we never said anything when we were little. I just remember always being tense and my heart racing as a child and having anxiety but I didn’t know what it was cause I thought it was normal. I now have Multiple Sclerosis an autoimmune disease and Crohn’s. I think it has a lot to do with my childhood and all the trauma I experienced.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That sounds hard! You’re in the right place. -Cara@TeamFairy

[@queenofwater8783]

I can’t speak when severely dysregulated. I can’t form words. When moderately dysregulated, I drive too fast or jerky or throw something and lash out verbally. It’s awful. It doesn’t happen often. I think I know how this happened to me and not my siblings. My mother made a sort of off-the-cuff remark one day. I was probably 40 something years old when she said, “When you were an infant in your crib, and you were crying, your father hit you so hard that you passed out.” While she was rather nonchalant, I was flabbergasted. Oh my god! Right there! That was it. He broke me. He let me know that my needs meant nothing. That I could not trust anything or anyone. That I somehow deserved to be treated badly. Combine that with being a very sensitive, intuitive, empathic creature; my first 23 years of life in an oppressive religious cult; a few sexual assaults by neighborhood kids; my mother being a depressed, unhappy, cold, often bitchy woman; and a dad that moved us a zillion times; and there’s a recipe for a mess.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's hard to imagine how someone could do that to a baby -- and terrible how you never got support at all. Life can get better. We're glad you're here!

[@lovejoy71422]

God bless you I'm so sorry that you went through this. However I do understand, my father tried to suffocate me when I was about six or seven years old because I was crying from an anxiety attack and was scared. I have panic attacks often as a child because my mother had beat on a regular basis. I blocked out what my father did to me until my mid-40s after I got divorced. My husband was abusive and held me down on the bed screaming in face. Then one time he pulled a pillow out from under me when I was trying to fall asleep because he wanted to continue to argue. I had blocked out with my father had done, However it came back to me after my ex-husband abused me in this manner.

[@Abigail43732]

Yes. When I'm new at a job I feel disregulated. I end up making stupid stupid stupid mistakes for the first few days until I'm comfortable with the team and building itself. After the first days I work like I've been there 10 years no issues. It's hard. Those symptoms are spot on.

[@marleneboswell7099]

I stumbled into Anna by Divine intervention. My physician has been treating me for chronic severe anxiety for a couple of years now. My health insurance doesn’t provide coverage for mental health care so I’ve been wandering aimlessly, a loose canon if you will, and I was at the end. Hearing Anna talk about disregulation probably saved my life. These panic attacks were real and even had a name. Growing up my home life wasn’t Leave It To Beaver style, however, I can’t say for sure that I had a crappy childhood either. I have experienced trauma as an adult. And I experience disregulation as described. I guess my point is no matter the cause of it, Anna’s help in identifying it and how to manage it has helped me so much that I’m alive to write this today. My Trauma: Narcissistic Abuse from husband of 19-years. Coupled with living through an armed robbery with a loaded gun to my head and my husband hearing it go down over the phone did absolutely nothing. He didn’t call the police and never called me back to see if I survived. He left me for dead and went about his day as if nothing was wrong. Yes ~ We’re getting divorced!

[@mindydickinson2226]

I totally get it. Thanks for sharing. I was raped and my ex-husband couldn’t have cared less. We were married for 20 years and I tried and tried but narcissists are just not interested- easier to dump the inconvenient one and start with someone else.

[@marleneboswell7099]

@@mindydickinson2226 Thank you ~ And I’m sorry to hear about your experience! You’re divorced now, correct? I’m having difficulty divorcing my 20-year mistake. He’s in control of all marital assets and refuses to allow me to retain a lawyer. Plus, he canceled my health insurance so now I’m without medical care… Dental care. He was hit with a restraining order and forced to leave the residence after being arrested for assault and battery. I eventually borrowed money from family to get the most inadequate lawyer possible. I fired him last week. I’m floundering aimlessly, unable to escape or move on with my life. I’m in crisis and I’m really scared. Oh God ~ It felt so good to admit that to someone. I’m sitting here with the crown on my front tooth missing, because I actually ate it when it popped off and just today, my charming mistake told me to get a job if I want it fixed. Yeah… I’m interview ready… Missing front tooth. My life is so absurd right now all I can do is laugh. I know it’s temporary and will someday get better.

[@paisleygirl6642]

Good for you for taking care of yourself.

[@Gracie.Gardener]

I noticed about a year ago that having some protein helps me get through tough moments or disregulation. I’ve started carrying packets of beef jerky in my purse. Anna, I appreciate the validation that this is helpful! It’s nice to know that my instincts are correct.

[@halcyondays8945]

Whoah. That’s eye opening! I’ve noticed that nutrition has a huuuge impact on how regulated I am but I hadn’t made the protein connection. I think I’ll take a page from your book and try that!

[@hotfudgecake]

Sameeee here

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing!! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@pinkgummybear766]

Yeah if I don’t have protein for my morning meal I end up pretty disregulated by the afternoon.

[@arwenhardy1995]

Going high fat, moderate protein has improved my lifelong depression, anxiety and PTSD about 90%. Especially helpful for diabetics and those metabolically diseased.

[@indigosungirl]

you remind me of Diane keaton she was awesome at acting deregulated in her movies it added humour to her characters.

[@saturdayschild8535]

This is so helpful. I went to the grocery store one day and felt out of my body, like I was on another plane of reality from others in the store. I thought it was my vision, but then felt my whole being was out of sorts. This was the beginning of me realizing my primary relationship was with an emotionally destructive (to me) person. I noticed I felt this way after nearly every conversation with them.

[@bluedolphin4366]

this video explains so much about me , I have tried to get my sisters onboard to understand me with no luck . I didn't tell them what happened to me , only my Therapist knows that . and I am not going over my life story again , it's too painful for anybody including me , even my therapist was upset when I told her for the first time , but you Anna are someone I can tell understands all the symptoms , that go along with c.p.t.s.d . I tried before knowing about c.p.t.s.d . medication only feeling so much worse I had to stop taking them , I wish it wasn't so hard to get people to understand me , they are still judging me , for men were I live people don't want to understand. , they just say Toughen up . if only they had this dysregulation then they would understand like you do , 🧚🏼‍♀🐬

[@arlettasloan6453]

You survived. You are tough enough.

[@littleblackbabycat]

I've noticed I go numb, and my mind wonders. I feel floaty and start shutting down. I can go about life, but I'm not really aware or engaged and am zombie like. 😮😢 I start having accidents, drop things, I'm disorganised.

[@caprilefevre404]

Wow, I knew something was definitely wrong but could never pinpoint it, at 56 I am so disappointed at the years, relationships, health, and opportunities that I have lost but it feels so good to know how to move forward to correct. Thank you for this!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad it was helpful! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@chrissialex6790]

You name it. Turning 54 and looking back to all the lost opportunities and years 😢

[@Sedum54]

I can totally lose my voice when suddenly dysregulated.

[@twigbird6058]

This happens to me ..

[@NoxCattus]

You just described my day to day work life! I have ADHD and work retail in a very fast-paced environment. I've described it to folks as being like Sheldon in that Big Bang Theory episode where they're trying to teach him to smile, but it just looks creepy. Also, my attitude shifts from wanting to help people to wanting them to go away cause they're obstacles to the rest of the work I am struggling to get done. Gonna practice what techniques I can while at work. Thank you!

[@2024istheyear.]

Hearing you say I was made to be someone more then someone who struggles gave me hope.

[@tyronesmith8305]

Anna I wake up disregulated alot, I've learned to give that extra time to dissolve as I give myself extra time to wake up and clear out some of the fog of discomfort. Thank you for your work here, your videos give me a lot of encouragement thank you for the daily practice I hope you're having a great holiday season.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you. Good work!

[@twigbird6058]

A house fire or a vehicle incident also

[@gingermarshy007]

Pretending to be a nornal regular person n trying to figure out how to act. Man this is very eye opening. People act differently when they see u in a state n then judge u. Makes it even harder as if u need that. Great channel im gona sub!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Welcome to the channel :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@gingermarshy007]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thanks!

[@CJ-tf5yd]

You deserve (at the very least) an award for how you articulate the consequences of PTSD. I’m 70, and have never come across anybody (paid therapists or online) who’s as great as you! I hope you know how much you are helping us. I have referred several people to your channel. I could never say this enough …thank YOU!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad the channel has been helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@sillymamacita3854]

When I'm disregulated I often visualize myself running as fast as I can to get away from the situation. I'm having it right now. 😭😭😭

[@life_aftersobriety]

After having my son via emergency C-section, I was a ball of anxiety and depression. All of my childhood trauma was present with me everyday with fears of abandonment from my partner, judgement from his family, and feeling outside of myself every day. I was able to connect with my son no problem but I was hypervigilant with people I didn't know very well watching him. I also didn't feel like myself at all, I had days were I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. But with help of understanding what dysregulation is, what CPTSD symptoms are, how to meditate after writing fears and resentments I feel like I have my voice back, my power back and myself back (a whole new version of myself). My thoughts are easier to decipher. I know when I am dysregulated, and how to in the moment say affirmations to ground myself. When to take breaks from social media, social events and limit isolation and reach out when I'm sad. Still working very hard at my codependency, with radical compassion.

[@ruthbarnes9999]

Cptsd doesn't come from one trauma. It comes from many and is usually from childhood trauma and many of them. Ptsd is if it's one trauma

[@roselucht4583]

Take time, pause, be safe, use gentle words take a breather, buy time go to room by yourself, stamp your feet onto the floor, take ten deep breaths, sit down feel seat on chair. Eat protein foods, wash hands with warm water, get a good hug if possible, or press into corner and hug one’s self especially one’s torso. When re- regulated acknowledge what happened , work on who you are now, recognize you are special you are worthy to be loved. Thank you so much for these life lessons!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@FuzzyFrogg66]

I sure wish there were a thing called "sibling therapy" (like marriage therapy). We, my three siblings and I, were 'raised' in an abusive dysfunctional home and we are so emotionally distant from each other but do try to maintain contact which usually leads to disagreements/hateful attacks on each other. I feel we could really benefit from "sibling therapy." It's nice to know psychology has made lots of progress since my childhood and thanks to people like you who go the 'extra mile' more people have access to information to help them realize there are others with similar circumstances and therefore they are NOT alone or societal outcasts. THANK YOU

[@orphanedhanyou]

Pretty sure there are therapists for anything problem you are willing to pay them to help you with. Not to say it's a racket 100% of the time, but that there are definitely more than just marriage counselors out there. You could also look in a different area than a labeled professional therapist vs go to a church and speak with a pastor or counselor there too.

[@nataliehelmig920]

Wow this reminded me of an incident at my last workplace where I made a mistake with something I didn't get the extra training I needed. My line manager hauled me into a room with a computer to show me I'd made a mistake and as I sat there feeling mortified and extremely embarrassed, the line manager accused me of "looking like I didn't care, not writing anything down when I wasn't aware I was supposed to be writing anything down, and "not making any eye contact" and I also had no idea I was doing that! I was looking at the computer trying to figure out what I had done wrong! I felt so humiliated! I'm glad I'm not the only one that has had such a horrible experience.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. You certainly aren't the only one, we're all here for you. -Calista@TeamFairy

[@nataliehelmig920]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you, I appreciate that.

[@misha_ry8476]

I just found your channel today and I can't thank you enough for sharing this... Few days ago, I felt so overwhelmed , I could feel the pain in my stomach and my head. I could not focus, and my face expression definitely changed (I sent my selfie to my best friend, she said my face is flat and scary). During this situation, I usually feel like I want to run away from home, and that day I rode my motorbike very fast just to feel the adrenaline (its very dangerous, I know). Then I tried to understand what I felt, by writing my thoughts on my journal, I cried several times in one day. After three days, I felt better now. I am trying to understand my situation and I found your videos, thank you

[@amorl4520]

Yup !! Sad, I have been a disregulated zombie the majority of my life. I now have a word to call this feeling thanks to you ! You are so right when you say dont drive. After finding out my spouse cheated on me I got pulled over by a cop. I had zero idea as to why . I was not speeding. The cop said I passed a school bus with blinking lights on as it stopped. I am embarrassed to say this. I did not remember seeing any school bus. I was in shock I didnt see this bus. Sadly, many many more stories since this occurance years ago. Freaken scary how deep I have gone down a black hole when I am stuck in that state. And that could be weeks, months , years. It really is pathetic we grew up in this hell and thought this was normal until your around people who got it together. I am very impressed how detailed you are and love to hear your experiences as it actually are spot on to mine . Are we related ? Lol

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I hear you. You're in the right place and we're so glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@amorl4520]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy So am I Some how you appeared and so far the BEST 👌 trust me .

[@hippieatheart2667]

Oh my word…u just explained my life to me and I am 65 years old! I have hope now!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wonderful, so glad you commented! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@karlee3095]

I needed this information. Had pretty severe childhood trauma and dissociation. I am going through some trying times right now: I have ADHD and the medicine I take is out for weeks at my pharmacy. I called a couple of pharmacies who said they don't have it nor have plans to have it. I stopped calling. I gave up. I do this for other things too and it makes me feel weak and unmotivated. I think I'm "stuck" though. I also say things to friends sometimes and get negative reactions--usually if a friend is trying to tell me what to do and I feel frustrated and unheard.

[@arlettasloan6453]

I watched a video by another therapist type person which was specifically about how to get unstuck. In the video they are talking about what helped a person with serious childhood trauma, as it happens. The basic gist of it is to start with slapping your thighs. Make yourself do that. Then, stomping your feet. Then, standing up and wiggiling your arms, legs, neck, etc. Then, putting on a song that inspires movement and basically just shake all over, can stomp and stuff too. And, after you get through a full song of that, yell. It can be into a pillow if you don't want to worry people too much. Then, if you have the time, more dancing. Doesn't have to be shaking, but it can be. Just dancing. I tried it and it worked quite well.

[@lovejoy71422]

I get stuck as well I need to try this thank you for the information. What was the name of the person was it on youtube? Thank you

[@jillyoung1282]

This is exactly me when I get overwhelmed! Complete panic attack. I thought it was only me. Amazing how we know so much more about ourselves these days. Your videos help me so much. Thank you.

[@belewy3053]

I had a therapist a couple years ago who told me my emotions were normal and fine and there was nothing wrong with me. I couldn't get her to understand that at times they were WAY out of control and disproportionate to the problems I was facing. Dysregulation sounds exactly what I'm dealing with. So nice to finally hear something that makes sense to me and understand what's going on.

[@WillowWandering]

What’s frustrating about being dysregulated is not knowing why until I talk it over with someone and they help me see (usually my therapist) how someone crossed my boundaries in some way. But growing up not being able to ever assert myself, I don’t see it, and if I do, I don’t know how to stand up for myself. I just know my body responded for some reason. I’m learning those techniques now and I’m getting better at it. But sometimes it takes me a while to see why I’m (or was) dysregulated in the first place. This also may explain why people go off on me with so much frustration because I just turn off emotionally and have no reaction. Not that I don’t care but in that moment I feel extremely unsafe and I pretty much block out what they’re saying and focus on safety. Even though they’re not going to hurt me, if I feel like they’re mad at me and/or raising their voice it triggers my blank face.

[@steve4524]

This is gold These tips and tools are gold This video is pure gold Thank you ❤️

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you enjoyed! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@lenas5613]

Overwhelming. 😢 Could dysregulation contribute to development of Parkinson's?

[@Nicefoolkilla]

Ive always felt off about life but when i turned 24 all my dysfunction came to the surface of my mind and it totally turned my life upside down! Lost opportunities, and everything Anna talks about. But here i am at 43 and i am finally aware of when i Dysregulate and instead of being out for days, it seemed like before, i am able to recognize in myself and i can be out now for an hour or two. Its been really tough but I'm on my way to recovery - never to go back to that place that made me feel like i was losing myself. Thank you so much, CCF for allowing me to place a name on what it was that was wreaking havoc on my life and everything around me.

[@myastarz112]

Wow this blew my mind I always go into this state when I feel attacked by my family and I try not to say anything cause I know deep down I’m being unreasonable but it takes me like an hour or so to calm down and it’s the most uncomfortable hour of my life. It’s so nice to have these tips and know I’m not insane

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You certainly aren't! I'm so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@glasshousefuture6836]

Wrapping and pressing your hands around your shoulders is also extremely calming.

[@Swist1213]

I have been in a dysregulated state a lot of the time in my life. Your description hit it out of the park. A couple months ago, I had a procedure where I almost died due to medical errors. I was awake and aware when the complications occurred. Later, when the doctor explained what happened I was in such a dysregulated state that I was mute, felt numb, and showed no emotion. I sometimes wonder what was going through the doctor's head about my non-reaction. Actually, I think I've been in a constant dysregulated state since the procedure. I think it's my way of coping with the trauma of the experience.

[@caratranby30]

I understand. I've recently had surgery it was very traumatic for me I feel like I've been very disregulated since. Sending healing to you 😊

[@RunPJs]

I think my symptoms were: Skin issues Weak legs occasionally - not good as a strong triathlete Lost ability to run well...worse when alone...that was exceptional difficult to understand Occasional tinnitus Tingling eyes...but nothing wrong Jittery feelings before bed Occasional palpitations. After a year of counselling I'm very much better

[@mariesprowl2348]

You explained this topic so well. Great analogies and perfect timing as I was trying to calm and balance my nervous system.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So happy to hear that! Glad it was helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@markc5771]

I absolutely have a blank reaction when I'm told something that should be emotionally stimulating. This is because I needed to maintain a poker face after being badly taken advantage of as a child by my family and more particularly my brother

[@nicolekaye6768]

I can’t thank you enough for this. I’m 57 and only started talking to a counselor about what happened with me at a young age, 7 years ago. But you helped me realize why I’m not “weird”. And I’ve thought that, forever. 💙

[@janettecarrell]

I am so happy to hear someone speak the language of events that happen to me from time to time!! Much love!

[@DeKKH]

Holy cow!!!! I was today years old when I learned about disregulation 😳 This describes and explains a whole lot about my younger life and now. You’re awesome!!! Thank you!!!

[@lesleyM84]

goodness.. this has been so helpful.. thank heavens all this is finally coming out about the wounds those of us forced to navigate unlucky, treacherous childhoods.. fascinating about the handwriting changing.. i firsthand experienced that.. a breakdown i guess, where my normally beautiful handwriting suddenly looked like a child’s.. it was so freaky.. ive forgotten a lot, but that.. that i will remember forever…

[@CelebuAunt]

YOU ARE A GIFT !!! I have been diagnosed and treated for MS, ADD, bipolar, major depression. And I have been in bed for 15 years. I would tell you my story but I only have a year to heal my cptsd trauma wounds. Deeply grateful for your work. I have downloaded the daily practice and will begin soon. Your shortcut instructions on what to focus on at the beginning is totally doable. And I've stopped beating myself up for when I don't complete a project. You have saved a life. Thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You got this! We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@jasm8642]

You should have your own TV show or presence. Also at least dozens of books out. Your work is so much needed today. Keep on. Thank you

[@kimbo9703]

Wow, I’m 57 and just figuring out I have been dysregulated. I feel so sad and guilty for all my outbursts at my 5 children. I am grateful that all of them have the wisdom to seek counselling- I hope the cycle stops at them.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're in the right place and we're all here to support you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@kimbo9703]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy❤

[@Elysian_s]

Perfect timing!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@vivianworden2706]

As I have gone through years of healing. I don't consider society a good mirror of emotional feedback. I consider most people out of tune in their own way. The example you gave of your son's preschool teacher during the conversation about his behavior. I am half Japanese, we don't engage emotionally like westerners do. If she would have told me I didn't care. I would have said..."not anymore than a school system that thinks kids can sit still all day and not stress out." I don't get emotional and for some reason that gets others emotional.

[@monicaramirez51015]

❤ANNA❤GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY!!!!! You are sharing GOLDEN TRUTH especially for myself that cannot afford the “therapy out there” because it’s too dang expensive!!!!! I AM forever grateful to have found your channel 😊

[@ashleekat3]

My husband passed away a year ago and I'm dating now. I keep sabotaging my relationships. This video really makes so much sense to me. It explains so.much. I thank you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You might want to check out Anna's Dating course :) bit.ly/CCF-Dating -Cara@TeamFairy

[@crookedzebrarecords]

I like that the video creator mentioned that a lot of this stuff is still fairly new to science (psychology, or medical). The mind body connection is going to be a hot topic for years to come, because as mentioned, we are learning just how powerful the mind really is when confronted with extremes. A psychologist once said to me, probably 90% of our medical issues are caused by our own stress. I started having epileptic events during major stress (mid 20's or so) out of the blue! I thought at the time it was because I was boozing too much, I had two neurologists look at my brain, both said it was not the cause of the issue. Childhood trauma is one of the biggest crises we have on the planet, and arguably the most ignored! Abuse/neglect happens, trauma, ADHD shows up, a child might become opperiant defiant, or withdrawn, lacking a sense of self, understanding right from wrong, stressed out, becomes the victim of bullying from parents, siblings, cousins, a coach, a teacher, a friend; it's a grooming process "pecking order" to use farmer terminology. Meet expectations, or not fitting in (cancel culture is a hot commodity). People feel lonely, isolated, misunderstood, and try making new "normal" friends when you are stuck in emotional dysregulation. People fall into roles, and it can snowball for life, without intervention, and a person become a codependent walking doormat for narcissistic folks to gas up on, over and over, and over.... As we have devalue in pay scales, people become apathetic to their jobs, social workers, school employees, might look the other way - because the parent has a decent job, goes to work. The child might hide the abuse, (or be asked to hide the abuse), but one way or another, people tend to conveniently not see, what "appears," to be mild abuse/neglect, when in actuality, the child IS being harmed (in other words, the collective standard is way to low if so many personality disorders are present). After the trauma, the fog sets in, dysregulation, dissociating, PTSD, severe depression/anxiety, it's crippling for people! I feel like a whistleblower when getting into this topic, because it is like looking at something you would see from socially far less evolved species (just watch any given animal documentary, primates or other socially evolved species, we see this type of behavior in nature, young apes i.e., might have to kiss up to the alpha by grooming it properly, in order to be accepted into the group); but it is a monumental problem (especially when I look at things like school violence, way too much bullying, way to much neglect, way to much abuse) we are not designed by nature to be so horrible to each other, hugs are what people need, to connect, be valued in life! It all begins, and ends with being good parents, ending the generational cycles of abuse, and in modern times, that translates into a lot of caring people unfortunately having to self-sacrifice a bit, (much like the greatest generation pretty much all volunteered to do their part) - be grateful for what the universe provides, and work hard at being our best selves. I just began therapy a couple of weeks ago, and they started me out in the direction that the video is talking about. Breathing, adding better habits, etc. As usual, great video :D

[@Enjoyinglife22]

So glad I found this channel. I’m in fight or flight mode half the time these days. I have a stressful job and now driving long distances has become an issue where I have major anxiety. I make myself do it, but I need tools to get passed it. 😢

[@LimitlessThinker]

I find listening to my favorite music when I go to do my shopping is extremely helpful. Any place I will be around a busy place I have my music. This is an excellent video.

[@sc150000]

Your videos are genuinely outstanding. Thank you for having dedicated your time and effort to creating them for us for free.

[@CatalinaFOIA]

All the dysregulation I've experienced in my life is why I suffer from severe panic attack disorder. Your comment about everything being so loud in your head is so true. I've often thought while listening to very loud music - it just isn't loud enough to cover my emotions. 😢 I'm sure the average person couldn't tolerate how loud my music was; as I was trying to drown the loudness of my emotions. I have better coping strategies now and thank goodness because I was going to damage my hearing. I'm still dysregulated; but I know it.

[@leiladasha]

..precisely thank you 💜trauma from childhood is extremely difficult to balance because stress will trigger it - any additional trauma will trigger it and lack of food cause emotional havoc

[@TheBL1216]

Thank you for talking to your audience with kind authority! I found this video and your wise words, exactly when I needed them