4 Signs She's Wasting Your Time (& She’s Not Into You)

[@moleahy6880]

From an older guy in his late 40's - If a woman is interested in you, it will be very obvious. You won't have to wonder about it at all. She will take your calls, answer your texts, and generally be available to you even at the last minute. Women don't play hard to get with men they really want.

[@desaryll2044]

Simply put and very true. Yes, there are exceptions like women with communication issues but 95% of the time, this advice is correct.

[@123dweaver]

Hmmm not always initially.

[@megane0125]

I'm not saying you're wrong, but this goes to men too. As a woman, I wish I applied this advice in my life.

[@BunyipDude]

This is absolutely true. When someone wants you, there is ZERO ambiguity. I learned this the hard way when I was single, with women who showed a strong interest in me for 1-2 dates, and then suddenly went cold. If it happens, it’s because she met someone that she likes better on Bumble, or she’s just not sure that you’re the best that she can do.

[@moleahy6880]

@@megane0125 Men don't operate the same way. A lot of guys will be very attentive and do this or do that, but it's not because they're really interested in you. They're just after the sex. Here's a piece of advice for you - If a man invites you into his life, he is interested in you for more than just sex. If his company has a function, does he invite you? Have you met his closest male friends? Have you ever met his mother? Does he have a particularly strong outside interest that he has invited you to participate in? Those are good signs you are being vetted for more than just a hookup.

[@ajtaylor8750]

Mixed signals is one of the most frustrating signs of a lack of genuine interest that a woman can display. One day she acts like she's completely down for you, then the next she's playing very hard to get and leaving you confused as to whether or not she actually likes you. Best thing you can do is cut her off because the mixed signals will only continue.

[@CourtneyRyan]

Yep - the worst!

[@imtiazahmadwattanyar3736]

😊😅😮. . . " thats the name of the game ,. . . 😂

[@antonboludo8886]

Yes, doing this is an ego boost for her. Do not gratify her.

[@Mancer1980]

This is prob the number 1 piece of advice I give to women - do NOT lead a guy on. If he’s out with you he’s most likely into you.

[@imtiazahmadwattanyar3736]

@@Mancer1980 This is the thing that these women " DON'T " understand , & just with. the 4 kg of make ups they poss & act like there is NO BODY ' like them in the world.

[@HCoRE8]

I really prefer to be straight up rejected than get mixed signals.

[@MikeyP109]

It's the same thing.

[@toasterpastries5811]

100% agree. I'd rather them tell me from the very start they dont want to date me. It's the saying yes and then drifting away that burns like hell.

[@thee.grandson]

FACTS

[@Karll541]

Yes!

[@marioleclerc4566]

Absolutely, the sooner you find out or you provoke the better for you to move on.

[@x-man5056]

All 4 signs are spot on. If you feel like it's a constant struggle to get her to talk (lots of short responses) or go anywhere with you, if she only contacts you when she wants something, if she says she'll call back and let you know but regularly doesn't, you are barking up the wrong tree. Seek someone else.

[@Sara-mr1hs]

The signs are clear!

[@ML-cc7gj]

Also, the same signs go for men too!

[@x-man5056]

@@ML-cc7gj Indeed.

[@x-man5056]

@@Sara-mr1hs Being clear doesn't seem to always be a good enough reason for some of us. I knew all of them before there was an internet. Experience may be "the best teacher" but on this one, trust Courtney's list. Her way is easier if you can wall your emotions away from your decision making. Unfortunately, that is denying yourself the experience that comes with more risk, and romantic "dice rolling" is all about risk and risk management (pretty much everything is, but love hurts more when it goes sour). Each person only gets one life, if you put to much weight on risk avoidance, it turns into life avoidance. I don't always default to 'safe' because 'risk' is frequently attached at the hip to "FUN" in an extraordinarily huge number of forms of which sex and love are only 2. 2 important ones if not the most. Example: "Make the approach" is the default, the rest will work itself out.

[@lawrence31415]

Once you leave the woman who is wasting your time, take a deep breath and say "Time enough at last!"

[@CourtneyRyan]

👏🏼

[@waltermyers8891]

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[@timothydoyle5474]

Also look at is as "what did I learn" or "how can I improve from it". Thinking what was wrong with me or how can I fix it is not a healthy means. Enjoy your day!

[@lawrence31415]

​@@timothydoyle5474 Well said, thank you for adding on to this. Happy Wednesday!

[@humblewoodcutter2754]

That was a good Twilight Zone episode.

[@mattlericain]

If you're looking to settle with someone (guy or girl) for a committed relationship, do NOT go near people saying stuff like "I'm just looking for a connection and we'll see what happens next" cuz that just means "I'll see if I have better options than you or not"

[@moleahy6880]

Exactly right.

[@elterrible0069]

Makes perfect sense

[@thrilla72]

Mmmm I don't know how much I'll like a woman until I get to know her better

[@andrewq159]

What if you're looking for casual?

[@LorenzoMasterConnector]

A better question is what are your intentions with me or you tell her your intentions with her.

[@nick111655]

Do not chase after any women period!!!! If it is genuine it will just happen in a natural level. Conversation happens naturally not making any special lines, it just flows.

[@slimdifference08]

As far as mixed messages are concerned, I think it is important for people to be able to read when they've overstayed their welcome. Many partners do not have the heart to ever tell you in phatic Lee that they no longer care about you. I knew a girl once who would stand me up half the time on the days that we were supposed to meet and yet who still thought that she could call me whenever she needed an ear at difficult points in her life. When I realized what was happening and I stopped indulging these conversations, she lost all interest in talking to me. Be on the lookout for transactional relationships.

[@Harikejn]

Important things: 0:46 First Thing - Inconsistent Communication; 2:05 Second Thing - She's Sending You Mixed Signals; 3:08 Third Thing - She's Putting In Low / No Effort; 5:22 Fourth Thing - She's Flaky; and 7:00 to summarize all the told here. I might add on first thing (Inconsistent Communication), when replying to messages, some people will see the thing on social media such as "Seen". That can also be either the sign that person is not interested in us. I remember ones that I sis have one experience with my friend that I knew from childhood. We were living in same town, and we were hanging out, when I was in primary school. When I finished primary school, I moved to city where I started during that period (let's call it that way) going to secondary school, and also faculty, which I have one finished (and I hope also to soon be a master degree as well if I'm in luck). Anyhow, he's replies when I asked him when will he come were this: "I will see." Asking him the same after couple of years, the answer was the same. Then I decided to make one move. I told him things to a former friend this: "If you have time to some other things, etc. you should have told me. You're not suppose to pretend to be a liar, cause that's not good." Then he was putting the famous "Seen." Do the seeing, but you won't solve the problems. Then he blocked me on social media, but I didn't get angry. What I felt was renaissance. And the renaissance is a rebirth, since I will not tolerate his bad behavior from him at all. If you want more details of renaissance, you can find it on internet as well. When I was listening to you Courtney, I remembered that once I have seen one quote that goes like this (you can correct me if I made a mistake): "No one is too busy. You're just not their priority." Thank you so much Courtney ❤💙🤍.

[@77dris]

Most of these tips apply to not only girls, but also everybody in your life: friends, family, etc.

[@antonboludo8886]

Good video! The Smartphone culture has really changed the dating scene. I just do things in person. If I text or call her it is brief and is only to set up a meeting in person. If she only wants favours or money etc... from you, then drop her right away, for she is merely a freeloader. Mixed signals are just her way of boosting her ego at your expense. Adolescents do this, not adults. Yes, do not tolerate flakiness more than once. Also , do not be the shoulder she cries on while talking about other guys who hurt her, especially if she tells you she is still sleeping with them. If you do this, she will see you as one of her girlfriends, not as a man.

[@iamjacquesbarjon]

Thanks for being so blunt. I know a girl recently was wasting my time, flaking at the last minute on plans, and randomly texting me whenever she wanted attention and I finally just cut it off. Blocked her on all social media and moved on. I liked her before but it was a huge turnoff. Don't need that.

[@idislikemyhandle]

Mixed signals is never really mixed. Its always means 'no', she just can't do it straight up for some reason. If she is into you she will find a way to communicate and find time to meet you. Everything, absolutely everything else is just waste of time. It just is. Actually, this one might be one of the most important videos ever on your channel.

[@AndimusYT]

It took me too long to figure out I was mismanaging my expectations of somebody I spoke to on a regular basis. I never got any face time with her, so I had to stop overthinking and boiled it down to a fundamental rule: “She’s either making time, or excuses”

[@helloDobson3259]

“She’s either making time, or excuses”. I long operated on that assumption, but I love the simple, conciseness of your statement. I'm writing that one down.

[@paulcolin9071]

Good thinking

[@potomacXX]

I have always thought if i have to think if a woman is interested in me or not - they are not.

[@AnonymousProPublicaHakr]

Whoa! Trueeee

[@colinh9294]

When a girl doesn't want to be seen around you in spots that she frequents, or by people who know the both of you, she's wasting your time.

[@WTFLOLXD999]

100% agree with all 4 of these. Sadly there have been times when I notice these signs but I chose to ignore them. But hey that’s how we learn ✌️thanks Courtney

[@aidenwhelan3973]

Hey Courtney thanks for the videos, the fact that you don’t sugar coat anything and say it how it is , is really to my liking .

[@kylecam22]

This actually just happened to me. A girl I had gone on a date with seemed like she wanted to see me again, so we made plans for a second date. I followed up the day before and she "forgot" about our plans and made other plans with friends, but was able to meet up with me earlier. Then the next day she cancelled and never tried to reschedule. I realized that she wasn't interested, so I decided to not force the issue. Flakiness and lack of effort are big turnoffs for me. Thanks for reassuring me that I made the right choice lol

[@jonnnybravo4092]

Women dont forget. She will hold onto little grudges for years. Throw every detail in your face. But "Forgot" a date she set up with someone else? If you were going to get laid, would you forget? No you wouldnt.

[@TRUTHaintHATING]

Yup

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

I would of immediately dismissed her after that “I forgot” bullshit of an excuse. And I don’t play nice anymore. If someone says that to me my next and last words to them will be “bullshit” and immediately block them.

[@Sara-mr1hs]

As a woman, I can confirm this

[@jackmorgan1568]

i had that too, first date we were vibing, had common interests and goals, everything. I saw her a second time and was still good but by the end I noticed her interest seemed to be lower. After that I tried to schedule something a couple more times but always got a "I'm busy, we'll see in a few weeks", so I stopped pursuing. The hard part with her was that she was really into me whenever we met, but her texts would be very dry

[@tommygunn6901]

Yep! I've been there before, haven't we all? I ain't wasting my time or energy on those who are consistently inconsistent. I'm just taking it at face value. Some have growing up to do

[@CourtneyRyan]

👏🏼👏🏼

[@tommygunn6901]

@@CourtneyRyan I'll dm you for an update!

[@turdferguson9356]

genuine desire is self-evident... the very act of having to wonder is an answer in and of itself... don't compromise on genuine desire

[@animrex2404]

Being flaky is the biggest turn off for me. Thankyou Courtney for this video, love your content ❤ you are such a sweet person, breaking down these problems for men so they don't make mistakes.

[@WanderleiFan1]

I dealt with a woman that was playing hot and cold and do very little to reciprocate interest. The moment I stopped paying attention to her she wouldn't leave me alone. But I'm not playing into her games anymore.

[@zazu8142]

she likes the chase not you

[@zazu8142]

madness

[@WanderleiFan1]

@@zazu8142 that's what I thought then a year later she dropped the games. She apologized we fixed things and got in a relationship.

[@theevolutionofthebear3093]

If you're confused she ain't interest. It's brutal when you're really attracted to her and want to get something going. Remember, if you are interested so are a dozen other guys. The only chance you have is to let her go, for real, and see why happens.

[@TRUTHaintHATING]

That's real talk. Hard truth but can solve a headache. Don't fight it because another guy has it easier with her. Then you got

[@operoverlord]

Some good feedback from u that reinforces some of my experiences. A girl in college was just using me to make the other guy she was talking to jealous. When I finally was shown her true intentions it literally took my breath away. Felt like I got my heart ripped out.

[@KingCzar29]

If she wanted to, she would. Chances are she was either bored, hungry or she wanted to see if the next guy is better than you. She's allowed to do that, sure whatever, but you need to let her go the minute you become the backup plan. Don't settle gentleman.

[@perrymann6807]

Women who are ‘emotionally unavailable’ can exhibit cycles of incredible interest, great communication and then when fear of true intimacy kicks in pull back and exhibit the behaviors you’ve described. This isn’t necessarily game playing but perhaps more accurately labeled as flaky behavior. The woman could be signaling they are not emotionally ready as opposed to ‘not that into you.’ I think you’re advice still stands as the reasonable choice to move on but leaves the respect for yourself and the other person intact. You remain the ‘prize’ but just not for the current sweepstakes contest. 😉

[@spectrestatus7110]

This is the girl I'm currently dealing with. She shows strong interest in person and we even kissed while I attendee her birthday party. However when we are apart it's like I don't even exist.

[@kevinbradshaw6127]

I went on a date with a woman one time, the date went well , she was engaging in coversation , smiling a lot , but the communication after the date was inconsistent , i always got the feeling she was assesing me or couldnt make up her mind what she wanted, i just gave up on her in the end, then just to finish the story , i later heard she had cosmetic surgery and she was fine as she was, another one with deep rooted issues that i,m not about to solve

[@itzadam4826]

All women will eventually get tired of you, if they look at you as a god. Humans were never made to put each other on a throne to worship. We were made to help each other.

[@tmux]

Tell that to the Oligarchy class/Tyrants out there

[@mattlopez47]

Woooord!! I feel like it's easy for dudes to do with women as well , basically worship them , and isn't fair, because none of us are that good lol

[@JACQUEZ23]

w comment

[@andersnielsen6044]

Wrong.. We are made to benefit from each other.. If it was not for our greed we would still be cavemen. ;)

[@davidkuhn3695]

Who cares? The majority of them are boring as heck, constantly trying to undermine you and play stupid games. They're like this from adolescence to their 70 's

[@Arejen03]

as a man you really dont need to wonder much if shes into u or not, you will know. If shes playing games shes not into u i learned it and wasted alot of time. This with respoding text messages is a big one, if shes tellin u she was busy etc. young woman are constantly at their phones if she were interested she would answer.

[@Strive1324L]

One sign is if you text, she answers but never texts first. And then doesn't answer later on.

[@aconformist1]

And if she answers, its one word answers or very short reply - and never followed up with her own question

[@fullcircleultimate1817]

I've definitely chased too many relationships with people who in retrospect didn't show enough interest but would say yes they liked me or wanted to date or whatever... I try to make my policy "don't overthink things and just take someone at their word. If they're lying, that's on them". I think what I really want is for the other person to own what they're doing. I'm the one putting rejection on the line, the least any halfway mature person can do is make their yes mean yes and their no mean no.

[@magnetic1909]

I had not heard from this girl I was dating in a week, we met up the following week at a coffee shop and then she suggested we go out to dinner, while eating at a restaurant of her choice, she told me she slept with another guy and that is was an impulsive thing that just happened. I paid the bill and promptly left. It was beyond tacky to wait to tell me you saw somebody else while we are eating dinner. I mean if a free meal was the thing she was looking for, it was just really in poor taste.

[@TubeTreasure2]

Well done for keeping calm, cool and collected.

[@Agentunderfire]

And yet she still won because you paid the bill 🤣 bro wtf? Why would you do that? Should’ve just left her with the bill smh

[@ethanieldude1]

Why would you pay the bill? She still won bro she didn't care that you left she got a free meal and scared you off

[@aconformist1]

Wow dude I can't believe you paid the bill. Since SHE is the one who asked you to dinner, you are under no obligation to pay right off the bat. And then after pulling this crap on you, you still paid!!! So now she's just going to do it to the next sucker for free meals. I would have paid my portion of the bill and thats it.

[@johnhartsock1891]

She might have given him good head later though​@aconformist1

[@danielbuxton4493]

Lads watching this - don't take advice from a beautiful girl like this one - she has had a completely different experience of life from you and quite understandably has high self-esteem and lots of opportunities - in fact she probably had a queue - (a line for you Yanks!) - of men/boys approaching her every day from a young age. If you like a girl, give it everything you've got. When you feel that you've shot your best shot, and she's still not yours, then walk away.

[@averyt6521]

Disagree cause she is on point

[@rhok9007]

@@averyt6521 yes definitely on point

[@khalilwilson2586]

I was dating this girl for about 2 dates. Was inconsistent texting wise( not a big deal idc for texting) but always was on her phone in our dates. Ended it after the second date I knew I was wasting my time

[@TRUTHaintHATING]

Yea Courtney ryan talk about that b4. And it hit home with me wen I went on a date with a girl. When I was around her. Her phone was blowing up with messages and she was texting the world. Then I get home and she replies 2 or more days later

[@khalilwilson2586]

@@TRUTHaintHATING yeah if they don’t value your time by giving you their 100% focus you know it’s a waste of time. That’s why I either don’t make it past date two or end up in long term Relationships lol

[@BrianWaller-qe7gr]

Why did you accept her being on her phone during dates? Grow some balls and immediately terminate the date when she looks at her phone. That’s rude and disrespectful. This what they say by having an “abundance mindset “. Never be afraid to cut her loose if she disrespects you. Just an fyi her looking at her phone was a shit test. She wanted to gauge your response. She would of gotten wet had you immediately terminated the date. Because it shows you have value in your time and self and you’re not afraid to make a bold move

[@khalilwilson2586]

@@BrianWaller-qe7gr I was 17 at the time man relax lol. I figured the first date it was something important so I let it slide. The second date I asked what was so important on the phone? She said she was texting her friends, so at the end of the date I said this won’t work and never talked to her again.

[@AnonymousProPublicaHakr]

As she texts her gfs every second of the day in the “group” chats lol. It’s a cult almost 😂

[@itsmistermisfit]

she checked all these 4 signs and I'm so glad I removed myself from the situation before finding this video. I'm glad I found this to reassure that I absolutely made the correct and logical decision.

[@DEATHxTHExKIDx1]

This is pretty much how I know most women are not interested in me romantically. It's always felt one sided. You can extend this to friend groups as well. The only thing ima gonna concede is we are adults so lives are busy with different responsibilities. So it can be difficult to make time for friends.

[@davidrivas6412]

It's simple if she makes it easy for you to see her and spend time with her in person. She has genuine interest in you and not giving you mixed signals

[@ted-nelek-ne8tf]

Practical, reasonable, friendly, down-to-earth, not pretentious, wise and sensible ... That's my babe!, the woman I want in my life.

[@biasedknowledge]

The way you explained inconsistent communication and flaky behavior really highlights the confirmation bias. People tend to focus on the rare positive interactions (like when she does reply) and ignore the overwhelming evidence that she’s not interested. One client I coached struggled with this, always looking for signs of interest that weren’t really there. Your clarity on this issue will help so many people. Keep it up!

[@NeilHaeger-mb4mk]

Spot on! Here are a couple....LOL..... In early conversation you share back and forth aspects about you that has been asked for that may be considered special. Example: I have really enjoyed singing most of my life.... Their reply, would love to hear you. You share a video singing and get very little to no comment. Not a usual result especially if you are rather professional at singing :). Another example: same as above in conversation and you share you have written thousands of poems and they want you to share something. I always make it personal and will write a poem based upon what has been shared with me so far in the communication so it will be killer. Again with little comment............not a normal response if serious in any way. I am a very detailed listener and communicator and always further a conversation with quality reply's based upon information shared. To me just showing someone you actually care about what they have to say or share :) Keep it real and pay attention!

[@zanesalvador7787]

Remember gents it not “ your time “ it’s just “your turn”. She’s keeping the relationship ambiguous intentionally to keep you tethered in the vast orbit of the friend zone, giving you a false sense of connection simultaneously keeping her options open while she’s holding your spot for the 1% high value man. Your time is better spent in stoicism.

[@whitebot925]

NICE TO SEE COURTNEY EVOLVING

[@davidportnoy]

if the girl cancels thats it you have to end it. If there's no legitimate reason that means she went on another date with somebody else, also is a sign of lack of respect. The best version of a person is gonna be how she presents herself now and if she cancels or flakes at the beginning your in for a bunch of trouble down the road.

[@bittersweetindustryexecutive]

I'd say that the signs Courtney mentions in this video only hold true when she's not stained by some type of trauma. Like, having experienced some type of abuse in a previous relationship or having been cheated on. 'Cause then she could be dealing with things like, trust issues, an initial fear of opening up to you, needing a lot of time to feel safe around you. I firmly believe that you should then give her the time and space to show up in a 'healthy' reciprocating way. You can't write her off for not being 'available' ftom the get-go, knowing that some women struggle with these type of issues. The more often you see/text her, the more she has to open up to you. If she's slowly opening up to you, you should probably keep on trying. At the same time, you should NEVER let a woman treat you like crap, itrespective of what she's been through. In the end it all comes down to finding the right balance between setting and honoring your own boundaries AND holding space for and showing compassion for her bad experiences. So be patient, yet NEVER let her walk all over you. This, imo, is the best way to go about getting to know a woman. And, oh, please, don't come and sue me when this doesn't work out for you. Like, it's her birthday, you go on a date with het, buy her a cake and some while later people start coming up to you to ask you what circus you're from. 😂 Cheers!✌

[@Dmapper-px2wo]

Fellas, you see and talk to her a lot of the time at a place you both frequent, like the gym for example. The vibe/chemistry is always good. You exchange numbers and when you reach out to her, she gives delayed or little to no response. She is wasting your time. She doesn’t like you, she likes your ATTENTION. Know the difference. Act accordingly by cutting all your attention from her. Even on social media. That means no viewing her stories, no commenting on or liking on her posts and definitely no messaging her. Know your worth and value your time as a man

[@DaweshDawesh]

I understand Courtney Ryan. She has good COMMUNICATION.

[@jonkybeats]

If a girl cancels a first date, on the day of the date, and doesn’t send a counter offer-say “no worries! We’ll get together some other time” and move on to the next. If she messages you in the future, there’s still interest. Try to set up the date within the first 3-4 messages.

[@semilunares]

By far, this video has been incredibly helpful! It should be mandatory for any man interested in dating. Once that time is gone, you don't get it back!

[@leedavis8969]

Yes. I have experienced all of these, but that's fine. Not everyone will be into you. The important thing is to recognize what's going on. If someone is into you they will reciprocate the amount of effort back to you. At the end of the day, there are plenty of people out there. Move on and don't give up. Sometimes you will really want something to work out and those are hard. If it's right, you don't have to force it.

[@bobross1829]

One of the ones she said is actually a tell on how much a girl likes you. It is if you have not seen her for a while, does she remember significant details about what you said when you last talked? Girls who like you remember your job, if you just moved, you have a dog, where you go to school, all that stuff. They remembered what you wore and when you last spoke even. If you had a big event happen in your life, like say (for an extreme example) you got admitted to med school and told her that and you meet her again six months later and talk and you say you are busy with school and she asks "oh you are in school?", you made zero impression on her. Because if she does not remember you are going to be a doctor, that is low interest man..lol You either are just one of the 5000 guys who hit on her that made no impression or she was not actively listening to you. Both are bad. But if she says, "hey it has been like four months since I talked to you! How is "x" med school, how are you and your new pup adjusting?" That is an indicator of high interest, even if she is unavailable. And it is very hard to fake. Yes, there are some politician types that have that gift when they remember when the shop owner down the street broke his hip and can recall tons of stuff about everyone, but they are very rare. Good looking women get hit on all the time with guys trying to impress them telling them about all kids of things they think will impress her. If she remembers your details, she is usually interested in you.

[@jtottonb]

What I appreciate most about this video is that it doesn't suggest changing your behavior to try to attract the woman. Too many videos suggest that men should try to diagnose the situation and then bend/adapt to attract a woman who has no/low interest instead of just moving on.

[@honeybadger6313]

It’s easier to assume that a woman you are interested in is going to waste your time. If they don’t then be pleasantly surprised and seriously consider her as a worthwhile partner.

[@Sara-mr1hs]

I'm too kind/cowardly to tell a guy off... especially if he's a nice guy. And I don't like ghosting either... so when I take long time to respond, with only short answers, I hope he will get the message that I'm not interested (which unfortunately, some don't... or they refuse to)

[@bittersweetindustryexecutive]

@Sara I hear you! But why don't you just say, "You seem like a nice guy but I don't feel like furthering this convo." "Best of luck to you." This way you don't ghost nobody and you're also not 'hurting' them. AND you're also complimenting them for being nice to you. As a guy I would always appreciate this. Can you promise me you will at least try this once? 🥺😂 Cheers!✌

[@twistedthumbv2]

More cowardly than kind really

[@MCKrause]

If you're doing it purposefully, it's actually mean spirited...don't hide behind how 'kind' you are (rolls eyes).

[@gkniffen]

​@bittersweetindustryexecutive Most guys can't handle being "rejected" that way. They'll get mad, accusatory, sometimes violent or mean.... As frustrating as it can be, I understand why women hope that guys "just get the point" and go away if they're not interested in them. It's completely rational if you look at it from a female's perspective. 🤷‍♂️

[@serrobertstrong1377]

I'm a guy but I have this problem as well tbh. I'm happily in a relationship but there's 2 different girls that keep texting me and clearly are interested because they literally told me so. I already told them that I have a gf and that I would never cheat but they keep insisting and I'm too kind to tell them to f**k off. So I also reply very coldly with short answers in the hope that they will give up eventually but it's become quite annoying. One of them is a coworker so I don't want to make things awkward at work either

[@JohnnyinCLE]

This is probably weird, but I watch these videos, to compare notes. And not limited to relationships, as I think these are great videos to consider for general interactions, and where folks may fit into our lives. All of the advice given translates also to everyone. This, I feel is a good thing.

[@TRUTHaintHATING]

Yea I needed answers about a female and had no one to go to. So these videos and comments helped me

[@Ironman4u]

A very challenging/ daunting task!... opposite genders... different backgrounds & upbringings/ genetics!... Different values, standards & morals. Different ethnicities, too!

[@ModernDatingMastery]

*If she’s consistently vague about her availability or takes ages to respond to texts, it could mean she's not prioritizing you. Healthy relationships involve reciprocity; if that's not happening, it might be time to move on.*

[@matthewroth1]

I stopped talking to a girl last week because of the reasons you described. A friend set us up after we both said we liked each other, talked for about 2 weeks, then her messages became more infrequent and just dry. My nail in the coffin was when she was asking me questions about my career and I described what I do and she literally responded, "Laaame." Goodbye.

[@Man_of_Renaissance]

I would disown that mutual friend too lol

[@Lakerfanforlife]

That's the kind of stuff that I don't like

[@leohalivan861]

If all she ever does is talk about her ex, run. If she feels the need to show you proof that she was abused by her ex, run faster. Because even if she's telling you the truth, she's either not over what happened, or she still wants him and only wishes he didn't abuse her. It's harsh, but stay away from women with that kind of trauma in their recent past because they will punish you for everything the ex did to them. Hurt people don't do anything but hurt other people.

[@DareToBeDeviant]

It's nice to have updates if possible to this topic even though the signs are almost always the same. It's a tale as old as time, like her saying "I need to work on myself" being a dead giveaway your partner found someone else and has fallen out of love with you. Not a day later you'll see them sucking face with another person. Someone I've known for a loooong time really locked me in. We were bread n' butter then after ten years I went ahead and sent a note if she'd be around a little longer and maybe elevate things (just a squish, not girlfriend) and... it was devastating. Roughly 8½ years later and I'm lucky to get a peep from her every few months. I guess after all our time together it was all for naught, but regardless, all destroyed because I wanted someone to stick around and do things with to break the monotony of daily life. This was _before_ the economy tanked and everyone's busting their humps trying to make ends meet and in turn spend every waking hour working. Some of us ask for so little but get a kick in the teeth for an answer.

[@peterg76yt]

There are times that women are brutally cruel leaving no doubt as to her rejection. The problem is that mixed signals come will across as a completely different reaction, so if the first is rejection, it's natural to think the second has to be something else.

[@anisenkrill6179]

Nobody can waste another person's time. You waste your own time.

[@gkniffen]

💯

[@chris_6199]

If she ticks alot of these boxes, she just aint into you, so just move on. Move on to where bois? There is no plan B. We aint got other options out here. 😢

[@tomgardner2253]

time to go back to basics and cold approach. Most guys were doing as little as 10 years ago. These Dating Apps are absolutely toxic as Hell, it inflates women's ego's into the stratosphere and most guys are left with the scraps. I could see men coming off these apps in droves leaving women addicted to their phones wondering where the options are going?

[@serrobertstrong1377]

@@tomgardner2253 This will never happen because the average man is desperate as hell and so many men fall into the trap of dating apps because it seems like an easy way out. Spoiler alert, it's not. The fact that things like onlyfans and streamers like Amouranth are a thing just shows how desperate and pathetic most men are. Women being pickier than ever and an increasing number of men remaining single is a direct result of this simp behavior. We as men are the ones responsible for this. If we respected ourselves more and stopped drooling over average women they wouldn't have such a big ego

[@niksananiksanov6777]

The mixed signals by women is from the most common ones and ive personally experienced it in my work and in real life. If i wasnt experienced enough i've wouldve let the thoughts of im loved,thinked,maybe i found the one etc. Not only mixed signals,but having a kid/children or having an cocky attitude and boyfriend you dont know about unless you make your research. Those type of women are the ones who will/deserve the most severe and unhealthy life could ever be not knowing what happiness is. As men its important to not put the purple glases and live in the real world finding out the surroundings you are in,doing the research.

[@Bowserguy62]

I never understood the texting thing. We all are on our phones always. How hard is it to text back someone? I can understand if you are in a meeting or something right it makes sense but to not text back the entire day like what were you doing?

[@rockyesterline7942]

She does not like u!

[@anosh88]

These are helpful, but most women do these. I've yet to find a woman who does NOT do these things. Modern dating is dead. If she isn't going to be honest about her intentions, it's a waste of time. Checking out of the dating market has given me lots of piece of mind and heart.

[@benkohout5047]

Changing plans, avoiding real conversations, wanting to spend time when her other options are busy, needing help with things. Lots of narcissistic behavior out there don’t water the fields you don’t play in! I’ve had woman that show signs, interest, responds but has 100s of un read text from others. Still a waste of time. I was told I was delusional when bringing things up.

[@DrSanto91]

Oh my God for real. There was a girl I was going to chill but then she changed her plans cause she was going to see a college hockey game. I started ghosting her after that.😂😂😂

[@dcbfan1231]

I asked a woman out just for coffee and got straight to the point that I wanted to hang out with her. She immediately said yes and we were good to go. The following day, I reached out to ask if we were still good to go. She said she has to postpone with me due to work and I thought sure, that’s understandable so I said no worries, let me know when you’re free. It has been two days since my communication with her and has yet to read my message. What’s the deal? I think I just got ghosted.

[@JACQUEZ23]

yes u did my guy

[@timothydoyle5474]

What I do sometimes when I get ghosted is. "Thank you for for your time the other day. I hope you have a blessed day. " than I don't talk to them after that and move on. The ball was served twice to them and such kind nice. She does not what kindness and respect. You are better off without her. It can hurt putting yourself out there but more no's = close to a yes and the better one. Enjoy your day!

[@seminarrfactor678]

You did get ghosted don’t send her another text message

[@dcbfan1231]

It’s been about a month since this happened and she still hasn’t got back to me. I’ve moved on since then.

[@rogersmith9628]

If a person is getting red flags, it's a good idea to pay attention. There are a lot of people who are into relationships only for themselves, and it'll always be shallow.

[@BALHAM69]

Happy Wednesday Courtney.😊 i miss summer. Thank you for telling the guys she is wasting their time 😮

[@CourtneyRyan]

You and me both!

[@SPMNDK89]

Mixed signals means you’re still useful to her at some level but she doesn’t like you enough to commit. So honestly mixed signals is a telltale sign you’re being used…

[@thomassheldon5451]

Such a well done video. Thanks for all the tips. Lightbulb went on. One request…could we have a little more wrist exposure? Want to follow your watches too!

[@chrislister570]

I'm over 40, and I still have never met any woman who wanted a serious relationship with me. If it hasn't happened by this point, it never will.

[@Jaapst]

ITS OVER

[@TheViatovao]

If the DMV responds to your email quicker than she responds to your text, it's time to move on.

[@mickrick84]

My personal and IMO very important advise, DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH HER IF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE'S INTO YOU AT ALL!!! If at all, let HER FIRST! fall in love with you! Hold back your feelings!

[@punsized2296]

So she doesn't like me??? 🥺 Thank God!!! 😄 😌

[@erwincuellar5806]

It’s an era where mixed signals are the only signals some guys get, so they, we, take what we can unfortunately.

[@Kyleforthe3SIKE]

Once they get your commitment and effort is out the window. Good luck boys. They want the appearance of a relationship. They do not want you.

[@seaotter72]

You basically described 90 percent Courtney.This hookup culture for a man that was raised traditionally and at the age of 51 with my kids grown and on their own lives and my wife passed away 4 years ago its just to much people have really changed.

[@georgehowelliii5666]

I like the phrase, “Breadcrumbs along”! Good video, too!!

[@julianscott7725]

Had this several times in the past. I never understood why they matched with me on dating apps and would never meet up.

[@TheRaggedFlygon]

As far as the answering texts goes don’t women intentionally wait 1-2 days to respond to a first text? I’ve heard sometimes they wait to see that you aren’t too needy or that you won’t blow up their phone/act weird

[@AnonymousProPublicaHakr]

“They wait”? Sorry, I’m already done lol

[@bobbylee9727]

it started back in college...i got the 'ole "lets be friends" or "you're like a brother to me" or the ever popular "i need my space" and let's not forgot "let's take a time out"...i didn't know there were so many of them...

[@AnonymousProPublicaHakr]

I had someone tell me before she needs space. I said DUDE I work out of town. I’m fine for 21 days and back for a week. That makes no degree of sense I said. Stop with “trends” nobody does that. I was done

[@jokersnotdead2175]

Had one girl that i liked gave me mixed signals, got her number and when i tried to hit her up, one of her friends had to tell me shes not ready for relationship only because she was scared to hurt my feelings 🤦🏻‍♂️ what a turn off

[@TRUTHaintHATING]

I been there..stay strong. Atleast you knew early before you vest time

[@AnonymousProPublicaHakr]

Lmao one of her “friends”. Was she 12?

[@dougbarnowski5224]

@@AnonymousProPublicaHakr No this dude is a SIMP, and tried to push labels on her! She was ready. probabably an overemotional baby w/ no credit card.

[@MikeyP109]

Mixed signals = no.

[@rhpmike]

I feel like 99% of the time if you have to ask if she's wasting your time, if you've been friendzoned, if she really likes you, whatever, then that is already the answer. You'll know it when she's actually into you. Gotta move on and work on yourself and/or find someone who treats you better.

[@torduc22]

“Anything other than yes is no, anything other than stay is go, anything less than I love you is lying” Good rule to live by, and as Courtney suggests, time to stop wasting our time

[@dhickey5919]

Availability breeds disinterest. The opposite is also true. If you want to establish your own value don't communicate on idle. Instead, do so with purpose and move along. If she's paying attention at all then she can quickly notice you've already forgotten about her. When she's interested, she will figure out a way to reconnect with you. The hard-to-get game is long over. Don't even slow down to think about a gameplayer.

[@davidabarak]

Mixed signals can also be a sign of fear. She wants you but is afraid of having you. Guys, one thing you need to understand is that a _LOT_ of women are hurt. That hurt can be the result of emotional abuse, physical abuse or sexual abuse. And, sadly, more often than you realize, many women have suffered from all three. You probably know women who have been abused, but you don't realize it. Whether you pursue a "difficult" woman is up to you - you have to look out for yourself, of course. But if you know a woman, even one you're not dating, who's expressing signs of trauma, try to understand. Even more, try to treat her with compassion. Don't let yourself become a door mat, but try to be willing to absorb a little negativity. And yes, the converse is true. Men have experienced trauma, usually not as often or as severe as women, but trauma still hurts and damages. Men need support, too. Too bad guys are so afraid to express their feelings, but this is where female friends come in. They're so amazing and supportive. Don't be afraid to have women as friends. The fact that you're watching videos created by Courtney or anyone else is an encouraging sign.

[@mhansond2011]

Hurt people need reflection and healing which often is not found in a relationship but often within themselves. People often use romantic relationships to delay and avoid that work even if that avoidance is detrimental to any relationship.

[@davidabarak]

​@@mhansond2011 Very true. Relationships often interfere in the healing process. Sometimes a relationship can help, but it takes a partner who's patient, understanding, and willing to learn about the issues involved. Even with all that, it's not easy for the "healthy" partner.

[@YZFMANIAC08]

Lmao this is such a cope

[@davidabarak]

@@YZFMANIAC08 It's difficult for me to accept nuggets of wisdom from someone who's young enough to use "Lmao," but I'll consider what you had to say anyway.

[@YZFMANIAC08]

@@davidabarak age doesn’t guarantee experience but go on 😂

[@TheNewMexicoMan]

If she plays games, is flaky and treats you like you are bothering her - RUN! It's that simple.

[@richardjames3022]

You have clarified something for me. I am getting very short, one or two word answers from messages and perhaps an smile emoji. But when in a book group she ignores me. After the second time of being ignored in the group, you have clarified she isn't really interested. She in fact went off in a huff at the end at the end of the last group meet, I don't know why? Goodbye girl I think

[@MikeyP109]

For any of these things to take place, a woman would have to stick around. The big red truck is whether you can get a second date. Anything but a concise agreement is a no. If you're waiting around for any of these 4 signs to pop up, you've already lost. All that said, if you can't get a straight answer about a first date and still stick around, nit sure there is hope.

[@Max1musPrime]

I think an interesting video would be the topic of divorce and what causes it/what factors make it more likely to occur.

[@MikeyP109]

The number 1 cause of divorce is marriage.

[@GarySBCA]

Clear, concise, realistic.

[@MrJohnEco]

The various forms of disinterest, I have noticed are very common among women on internet dating sites.

[@Razear]

Most of these are fairly self-evident. You have to be entirely oblivious or borderline delusional not to pick up these cues unless you're on the spectrum. That's really the only excuse. It's a gut instinct that's correct almost 100% of the time. As soon as you even get a hunch that she's uninterested, that should be your signal to abandon ship.

[@ConnorDRyan]

I’d known this girl for a couple years but I’d had a long term girlfriend up until a couple months ago. I always perceived this other girl to be interested in me, and my ex was threatened by her so something was def there. I saw this girl at a wedding last weekend, asked her on a date for after the rehearsal dinner which she emphatically accepted, then proceeded to break that date and essentially avoid me on the wedding day. Turns out she has a “new boyfriend” which I found out from a friend.

[@atomicwarrior665]

I don’t have much experience but I found this out, if you actually try or put in effort to make a relationship like not just asking dates but even just simple you want to hang out and she says no or just tells you she has “Plans” and she doesn’t put in any effort back like even just talking to you then yeah she’s not interested.

[@kevinb8881]

Courtney, I agree, on to the next one, choose wisely (or I should say on to the next batch, sort wisely)!!!

[@RodVonLongrod]

Rule #1: Never lend them money. You won't get it back. Rule #2: If she thinks of you as just a friend make sure to quote a price for your labor when she requests your help moving or whatever scenario comes up requiring your time & resources. Rule #3: If she thinks of you as a friend and asks to borrow something, make sure to hold on to some collateral of equal value until your item is returned. Bonus if you draw up an agreement requiring her to return the item by a specified date, and should she fail to return the item by the agreed upon date she will pay for the item's current value. Have her sign the agreement in front of a notary and give her a copy. Take her to small claims court if necessary and show the signed agreement in court.

[@nonyabusiness2638]

When my guy friends ask my help moving I don't charge them...

[@RodVonLongrod]

@@nonyabusiness2638 If you're a guy and your guy friends ask for your help moving you just help without question if you are able to. The point is to not be used and not be taken advantage of by feminist-influenced women. Men need to learn the value of themselves, their time, and their attention in the gynocentric society.

[@jonnnybravo4092]

Agree 100%. She will never pay you back. She will simply replace you with another man who hasnt been burned yet. Never do things for free. The more she "Values" your friendship it simply means she knows she can get more from you. if shes putting out then weight the value of what your giving her vs the sex. Dont start being extra nice to her or caring more. Dont buy her fancy things. You dont want to be a sugar daddy. She will reward you with more sex when you spend your money on yourself doing interesting things you can brag to her about. It puts you our of her reach and makes you more interesting. So she then chases you and feels like shes winning something when she puts out. It inflates her ego a bit while at the same time not being that simp guy friend.

[@TRUTHaintHATING]

Yea I learned that the hard way with a girl I went to school with. I fixed her car for free and donated money to her business. And she turned around saying she not the relationship type after I was trying to pursue. Months later a guy is taking her to the beyonce concert. Idk if she with him but he better hope he not in the friend category getting used. Like she did me

[@123dweaver]

Meh I still help a women friend move. They usually make it up me by introducing me to their women friends. What you’re saying is kind of toxic and won’t get you anywhere with women or just people in general.

[@tod3msn]

Guys need to see woman as people and not as flawless beings or someone they put on a pedestal. Over the years I have made that mistake and it weakened me. It did not allow me to see these woman as flawed like everyone else and I overlooked a lot of behavior that probably should have been a clue to move on. Idolizing a woman is like causing yourself not to be able to think right and keeps you in situations that you should have left long ago. Let’s face it, no one is going to stop you from making a fool out of yourself but you can put yourself in better position if you realize that this person is as mistake prone as you and never should be placed on a pedestal but just seen and respected as a fellow human being.