6 Harsh Truths About Women That Men Learn Too Late

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[@treychristopheryoung9983]

One hard truth that tend to be true is that there’s actually no such thing as “playing hard to get.” If a woman likes you, she’s not going to make it “hard.”

[@NerdlySquared]

This is true, every girl that’s really actually into you makes it easy to talk to her, see her, spend time with her and has a identifiable and clearly positive disposition and reaction to elements of you as she learns them (this last part is the really big one, you will notice is actually very significant with experience). This also happens very early. The “hard to get” alternative is always a waste of time, 100% of the time. These are time wasters and unpleasant, unproductive and wasteful experiences throughout the process. Don’t bother, this is a trap. Note I’m not talking about instant sex (which is not a good sign for anything stable), just how generally open or closed their disposition is to you being very obvious.

[@AlanSmitheeman]

You are absolutely right!

[@markkillick4925]

Very true they know it as well

[@GregXHunterz]

@@NerdlySquared Well said dude!

[@jamesgornall5731]

Sometimes you just 'click' with someone

[@machupikachu1085]

Remember gents: If a woman is in to you, there's almost nothing you can do to change her mind. If she's not in to you anymore, there's almost nothing you can do to change her mind.

[@PaperRaines]

Ehhh.... I definitely agree with the latter, once a woman emotionally detaches she's done pretty much. But the former, I don't know about that. I'm pretty sure 80% of the subscribers on this channel are here because women who were legit into them switched up and bounced lol If I could suggest a different version of your comment is women are people and people are very finicky, they can change their minds very quickly and for any reason. It's no different when it comes to dating choices

[@TerryProthero]

@@PaperRaines I know of many examples where the first one was true. Definitely in the case if you are come kind of Chad. And then there are the bad boys who treat women like complete crap, and they come back for more. But I don't how true it is in other kinds of scenarios.

[@dandangalodangalus9082]

“Don’t change her mind, change her mood.”

[@jariaura7201]

Unless you win a lottery right at that specific moment in time😂

[@georgesontag2192]

She loves what you can give her, you a person means nothing to her.

[@nauscakes1868]

Another major hard truth of life in general, is that you can "do everything right." and still lose. No one is entitled to anything.

[@KevvoLightswift]

It does take 2 to tango.

[@SunnySummer777]

Very true...😞

[@christianhorn1999]

Yep just experienced, nothing means anything

[@rwyo83]

Don't keep woman, just change them for a new one

[@SunnySummer777]

@rwyo83 Love your wife as Christ Loved the Church.... But if you never want to get married--PLEASE JUST FIND A WOMEN WHO DOESNT WANT MARRIAGE AS WELL!!

[@raymondmasullo3386]

I'm 53, newly divorced, and thus single again. I'm discovering that dating today is just as chaotic as it was 30 years ago. I don't play games, chase, obfuscate, or read minds. I never have and I never will. I'm just going to pull myself out of the dating game and focus on my hobbies and interests, like reading more books. I'm not mad or sad, just realistic. Good luck out there, folks!

[@Renatogabriel1221]

ya I have a lot of friends who have focused on just hobbies/career… it seems like this new generation is very hard to deal with

[@sburns2421]

The biggest problem being single at that age is the realistic dating pool has so many potential negative characteristics. The chances of finding a wolf in sheep's clothing expecting you to pay for her children's college or batshit crazy about one or more things now ossified in her brain is much higher than a self-aware responsible person. IMO. If they are divorced and cannot tell you instantly what they did wrong and learned after the divorce they are not candidates for long-term, period.

[@Conflict1922]

Newly divorced also at 33, dating is a liability.. honestly. Best decision is to just not do it.

[@SkuzzelB8]

Lol.. you guy's always give me a good laugh. You're all now middle-aged, putting relationships away and focusing on self-worth and hobbies and fun times. I am also middle-aged but the exact opposite. I am putting self worth and hobbies and fun times to the side and am now focusing on relationships. I'm not soured by previous traumas, but at the same time, I'm too old and mature to let a woman ever make me feel that way now.

[@Conflict1922]

@@SkuzzelB8 if you have to point out that you're mature, you're not mature. Good luck to you.

[@Snake369]

Man, honestly, I find it very, very difficult to justify why women are worth this kind of effort. I know you're trying to help and it is appreciated but i'm definitely feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and bitter about it. basically every side of this conversation is about what men need to do, what men need to improve to attract women but there's no discussion about why relationships with women are even worth pursuing.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

The juice isn't worth the squeeze. Particularly when you have marriage and kids because this is when she has all the control in the marriage and divorce courts. The best stage is the boyfriend stage when there are no kids. This is because you have all the leverage and it becomes much easier to walk away (unless you are xQc or Israel Adensenya who are both getting used by their ex-girlfriends).

[@SnerMerNer]

It’d take a really special person to be worth the headache, that’s for sure. The kind of person you meet once in a lifetime. The kind of person that’s impossible to find.

[@BB-te8tc]

If you have to ask if they're worth it, as I do, then they're probably not worth it. And that's fine. You can be a complete, fully realized person on your own as well.

[@mar4kl]

Women are worth the effort if you want a woman in your life. Otherwise, they aren't. There's no right or wrong about this, and nothing to be ashamed of. There's only what works for you. If you do want a woman in your life, most of what Courtney said here comes down to learning to communicate. That's not as simple as it sounds. We men are socialized to talk little, do much and let our actions speak for us. Women as socialized to talk all the time. That leads many to think that women are better communicators, but this is a myth. A lot of people talk all the time, but don't actually say much. (Government at all levels of full of them!) Women and men are conversant in different sets of non-verbal cues, and that's mostly where communication breaks down. The other major communication issue has to do with how we listen. Since women are socialized to talk a lot, they also listen carefully to each other's words. We men, on the other hand, tend to listen just enough to receive on-topic information, tune anything extra out and get impatient (read: interrupt) when the "anything extra" goes on for more than a sentence or so. Successful couples eventually learn to "speak each other's language". (If you want to see what I mean, try playing a game of "Taboo" with a couple that's been together a long time. They will beat the pants off of everyone else.) Until that happens, both the man and the women have to get used to listening carefully to one another and ask for verbal clarification often. That can take a lot of patience, but it's well worth the effort.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@mar4kl I don't thinking talking differences between the genders is socialization. I think it is genetic. I don't think you can learn this type of personality trait. If you could learn to be better talkers/listeners, loads of guys would sign up for this course. Also, most socialization comes from women e.g. wives, single moms, teachers (who tend to be female), etc. So, if anything, boys are socialized to be female but still end up acting male.

[@lilypad7851]

Being a man is not stressful at all. You just have to: - earn more than women (and then listen to them complain about wage gap) - take initiative in the bedroom (then listen to women complain about how horny men are) - be masculine (and listen to women tell you how toxic your masculinity is) - be confident - be tall - read minds - be strong - take charge - look good - take care of yourself & your girlfriend And if you don't have kids, there is no problem, since you have your girlfriend to treat like a child and provide, protect and take decision for her, since an adult woman needs a man to treat her like that. But at least that won't be for nothing, since you'll have a girlfriend who won't do much for you, but she will look good for you (something you also have to do for her, along all the other points). And in the end, she will be the considered the "trophy", and not you.

[@PaperRaines]

You previewing your future wedding vows for us? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@PaperRaines]

Dude, women are the prizes. They've been the prize for literally thousands of years, your chapped ego can't undo human history lol. But there's a simple solution, all you have to do is find a woman who resents archetypal feminine, demure females as much as you do. I'm serious, I've been friends with couples who find solace with each other mutually raging against orthodox heteronormative compliance, and they love each other very much Sounds like that's you need, more than listing out all the ways you resent conventional American women and all their demands and foibles

[@taw1967]

You left out if a woman is consistently keeping up her appearance 100%, then she is probably just advertising for the next dude she is gonna leave you for. Remember, you’re not The One; it’s just your turn.

[@TheStudentofTruth]

based

[@GK-op4oc]

"take initiative in the bedroom (then listen to women complain about how horny men are" Do nearly all or all of the physical sex work before she asks to bring in HER toys because you are not meeting her expectations of exciting her female bits that degrade over time or never worked that well in the first place

[@scottys1423]

Had a GF who always said she didnt care where we ate. So I'd pick a restaurant and she would immediately veto it and tell where she was thinking we should go. Yeah I passed on marrying her.

[@milan51259]

Low tier woman.

[@Luked0g440]

Smart move. Imagine being married to her. She’d feel free to torpedo you at every opportunity.

[@Concatenate]

Big brain move, override her veto. Show her that alpha BDE. You eat where I say we eat, and you know what? You can pay for it, too. Gets them all hot and bothered.

[@trapped-ion]

​@@Luked0g440 LOL - torpedo. Classic!

[@thomasbrennan6303]

Your response is always "sure, that place sounds great. We'll go there next time." "No, I want to go there tonight." "Nope, you said you didn't care where we eat, so you forfeit" with a playful smile. Benevolent leader. Never a dictator. Never a butler.

[@jeffd3492]

6 Harsh Truths About Women That Men Learn Too Late 1. Attracting vs. Keeping a Woman “Talent gets you in the door but character keeps you there.” a. Attracting i. Physical appearance ii. Confidence iii. Sense of humor iv. Social Status v. First impression vi. Grooming habits b. Keeping i. Emotional connection ii. Mutual respect iii. Communication iv. Shared values v. Ability to address and resolve conflicts 2. They like guys to take charge (Masculine) a. Leadership b. Decisive c. Takes initiative d. Plans the date e. Dominates in the bedroom f. Self-assured g. Capable h. Shows responsibility and takes ownership i. Mutual effort 3. They know how to swindle weak men a. Takeaway: Be careful with what you lead with. b. Takeaway: Don’t be a sucker c. Takeaway: Set boundaries d. Takeaway: Respect yourself e. Takeaway: What you allow is what is going to continue. f. Takeaway: They will like you for the wrong reasons. Not healthy 4. They want you to be a mind reader a. Not possible. They need to learn to effectively communicate their wants and needs. b. Women want their man to be more attentive and understand their emotions. c. It tends to be a family or social expectation and is probably not a conscious intent. d. This needs to be brought out in the open and discussed. It usually falls on the man to do this. e. You will need to “call her out” on this many times before she can accept it. Start gently and get slightly stronger for each occurrence. She may never accept it completely. f. If you tell me you are fine, I’m going to believe you are telling me the truth. You are an adult and understand if you don’t tell the truth, there are consequences and it will affect our relationship. (It follows for all other statements of fact.) g. It is not the responsibility of the man to decode or interrogate her to find the truth. h. It is unjustified for the woman to be angry at the man for not understanding her needs if she doesn’t tell him directly in words he understands. i. There is a mutual responsibility to understand each other. If one of the partners truly is trying to be understood and the other partner doesn’t. It is up to the other partner to ask questions until they do. 5. They desire security a. Many women desire security and safety in a man because it provides a sense of stability, safety, and comfort in a relationship. These can be emotional, financial, and physical security. This allows them to develop and more lasting and fulfilling relationship. There is also an innate biological drive for women to seek this security. 6. If she likes you, she will want to see you. a. If a woman likes you, she will want to see you. She will want to talk to you. She will respond to your texts. She will make an effort to be with you. She can’t help but make it known by these measures. What type of relationship she wants is “to be determined”. b. If she says all the “right things” but her actions do not match, she doesn’t have enough interest to break through her barriers to be with you. Move on. She may even up her game if she knows she is losing you.

[@michaelrespicio5683]

Appreciate going through all this trouble but as we can see, this is far too much to bear in mind. It's easy to see why the dating game in the West is broken

[@trowwzers5057]

What if the guy has all that but has terrible genetics?

[@JaySmith-pv2mw]

Sure. No problem. 🙄

[@DuaLeaD]

@jeffd3492 "6 Truths...." Any man that has actually dated knows women would never make it that simple... TOO FUCKIN' FUNNY BRO 😂😂

[@Misael8924]

Dude you just aided a shopping list. That's nearly impossible. F** all that where's their Requirements ? You can't have it your way an own it. Not to mention a man, has to deal with Societies standards of him. And if women want all that ? They have to Submit to men, and not be Rebellious. Which non of them mostly want too. The Jezebel spirit is rampant in modern women. You're not supposed to give women all that just because their female. They have to earn that privileged.

[@chzzyg2698]

When relationships are all about what the woman wants it really makes them unappealing. Selfishness, vanity, and greed are not attractive.

[@machupikachu1085]

Japan is working on robots....

[@gawinkeith3327]

🎯

[@johnvliet523]

Thank God I found this video. I was halfway thinking of dating again; you have saved me heartache by reminding me of every reason I had to leave past relationships and pursue that which can be done alone.

[@ImJiom]

you are already enough alone

[@jupiterjunk]

Of my friends that are single, the guys are the happiest, the gals are absolutely miserable. Stay happy.

[@slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447]

really? to me this video gave incredible encouregment: it confirmed everything i already thought about women and showed me that there's nothing wrong with how i approach them. it showed me that i just need common sense

[@kumarg3598]

​@@slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447There is a 33% you will lose >50% of your stuff. Does that sound like common sense?

[@slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447]

​@@kumarg3598 this doesn't have anything to do with my comment. if you think that marriage isn't worth the risk, then don't get married. i'm here talking about spousal relationships in general, and how to make them work. also, getting divorced isn't a random event, that's not how statistics works

[@georgepappas4628]

I've been married for 15 years and in the same relationship for 17 years with two teens.... And I still don't truly understand her. I think I'll never fully understand a woman, but a word of advice to young blokes is see what type of character the parents are before you commit. If you don't like them the strong chances are your girlfriend will have the same traits. This is coming from experience, as I really dislike my mother in law and my wife displays similar traits.

[@slkjvlkfsvnlsdfhgdght5447]

so why are you still married?

[@studleyjb3172]

Remember the words of Al Bundy, " women understand women, and they hate each other.

[@pumptds]

Very true

[@ajtaylor8750]

If a woman isn't 100% consistent in her interest towards you, she's not interested in you. Very simple. Stop wasting time on women who will never give you the time of day that you'd like from them.

[@Danny328DT]

So you're saying if she kind of hesitates? What if she's unsure about dating because she doesn't think she's ready?

[@GregXHunterz]

@Danny328DT same answer. Why do u wanna date a woman who isn't confident or sure of herself? That alone also causes confusion and a sign of wish washy behaviour. If she's not ready to date, she needs to be at a place before doing so, otherwise time is gonna be wasted.

[@Danny328DT]

@@GregXHunterz Good response! Yeah, it's better to be sure and go for it rather than have commitment issues later down the line.

[@JGComments]

This applies to every woman who “just hasn’t had the time to get back to you yet.”

[@NotSteveCook]

Wishy-washy is definitely a red flag, especially if her doubts rise up a second time. There will be a third time, and a fourth...

[@winterfern4881]

I was married for 5 years. She always told me she hated being the leader and that I was being too passive but every single time I would try something taking the lead she would throw a fit saying she didn't want to do it or she doesn't like it. So I kept becoming more and more passive because of that behavior. If you want me to lead, then let me do it, stop trying to dictate every little thing that I do and complaining every time. That's the kind of stuff that really annoys me about women. I could even get her flowers and she would not be happy because they weren't her favorite and her favorite flowers are only available one month of the year. So if I don't get her flowers I would get an attitude, but then if I did pick out flowers throughout the year she wasn't happy about it or really grateful just like oh okay nice effort.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

It is impossible to make a women happy long term. They will always find something to moan and complain about. Especially after you give them the diamond wedding ring, house and kids. My advice, try to get with someone who is naturally more calmer, peaceful, patient and mentally stable. And do not get married.

[@mrsherwood2599]

Women are absurd, solipsistic little liars and swindlers.

[@MikeyP109]

This is why you call your significant other a partner, not an employee.

[@radiocity80]

Your ex was a total narcissist. With respect, you either missed or ignored red flags. It's essential to study Narcissism, Avoidant Personality Disorder, and BPD before dating again. So you don't miss the symptoms. Because while all not American women have one of these disorders, most do.

[@CommanderReplay]

Ive been there. Once you get into nothing is ever good enough territory its time to leave.

[@JasonS-eo7sh]

I'm 44 and my wife was killed about 8 months ago. She was 35 (looked 21), she was 5' 9.5" 110 lbs., a size 0 and ridiculously gorgeous, even for LA where we met. She approached me at an alumni event for our college so I already knew she was highly intelligent (our alma mater was ranked as the third best public university in the country). She approached me because she liked tall, fit guys (I'm 6' 6" 255 lbs. and 8% body fat) and she wanted an intelligent guy and knew I was since we were graduates of the same university. She was a midwestern girl so she had good core values and never talked about money. I was 36 and she was 27 when we met. We were married 5 months later. We had the same juvenile sense of humor and we were not only husband and wife but best friends. We preferred each other's company to that of our friends and spent every day together. We had an amazing life together and were inseparable. I watch some of these videos and see uneducated 4s, 5s, and 6s expecting a guy with model looks who makes 500K a year and drives a Ferrari. Yet these women bring absolutely nothing to the table...no education, mediocre looks, no personality and baggage. I'm a fit, educated successful, financially stable male. Why would I ever give any of these women the time of day? Let them rot in their one bedroom apartments getting grayer and more wrinkles by the day. I may date again but I will never marry again. I won the lottery with my wife and I know that will never happen again. I wouldn't dishonor my wife's memory by dating the egotistical garbage that is out there. The last few times I was approached by women, I politely said that I was not interested. Most were polite and there were no issues. Two of these women, however, copped an attitude even after I explained I was a recent widower and not ready to date. I proceeded to show them pictures of my wife on my phone and said, "why would I date someone who looks like you when my wife looked like this." The expressions on their faces were priceless. They instantly realized that they were 5 levels of attractiveness below my wife and I hope it messed with their undeserved oversized egos.

[@emanuelmota7217]

Nice to know there are men out there who are 6'6", in shape, and get approached by very attractive women. However, this is not reality for 99% of us, so your story is not relatable.

[@crimestoppers1877]

@@emanuelmota7217 I am not 6'6' but I may be one of those men who are "lucky" with women? I Never approach them, they must approach me and show their interest. The games women play are boring and so I get what I want and ghost just as fast. I do not care about the Fnist BS. I do however enjoying dropping them like a rock once they think that they are in control. Where are the honest normal women? A five is not a problem if I could find one. All I see are hundreds of hot 3,s and 4,'s who are in heat and each one of them thinks she is a ten.

[@alfredeneuman6966]

​@@emanuelmota7217 I agree. I lost my lovely wife after 43 years. I am thankful for my time with her. Although I think of her every day, I don't believe there is only one person for us as described. The put down on the ladies who showed interest also smacked of hubris. Too, looks aren't everything. I recently danced with a lady who has a pretty face but is a bit overweight. She had just turned down a dance with two other men when I asked her to dance. She said she felt badly about that and I asked if I should step away. Her reply was, "no, I want to dance with you." She maintained eye contact throughout the dance. After she asked if I would come back to the same venue. I found that very attractive and I look forward to dancing with her again and finding out more about her.

[@fdblade1529]

That was spot on about values. The old expression is that "opposites attract" but that only applies to personality types (extrovert/introvert, serious/comical etc.). If your values don't align however, there is no way it's going to work - not in the long term anyway.

[@StrengthandVitality]

You left out they are willing to pretend for as long as it takes. Ten years of marriage gone at the snap of a finger. I stopped being bullied and stood up for myself.

[@machupikachu1085]

You're not wrong...

[@anonemaus159]

Like my sister said, she wants the man that makes all the decisions, and they're the same decision she wanted to make.

[@thrilla72]

Lol I hate when they do that, if I'm in charge, don't try and backseat drive

[@rickyaz8640]

Life is way easier if you grew up with a sister(s). The lessons were always there to be learned

[@RS-xo7rd]

@@rickyaz8640 Yes, that is very true. I was an only child who went to a boys school, and apart from a brief period around the age of 16, I hardly spoke to a girl at all. It was a steep learning curve when I went to college, and a a sister would have been so helpful.

[@BB-te8tc]

Goes hand in hand with wanting a mind reader, doesn't it?

[@thrilla72]

@@RS-xo7rd meh, sisters don't really explain much. You need a strong father around to demonstrate and explain

[@stevearnold2456]

I have over time come to the same conclusions about women. Basically through trial and error. I once had a great relationship with a woman that had a lot of potential for marriage. But instead of her communicating to me a minor issue she had, she let the problem get to the point that she resented it and she broke up with me. Good communication is a must.

[@x-man5056]

Share the issue?

[@stevearnold2456]

Ok. We met through a dating service. The first few dates we went dutch on the check. Hindsight is always 20/20. Since she initially volunteered to go dutch and never spoke up I figured that is how she wanted it. I think she should have told me when it started to bother her. I was an idiot for thinking she preferred going dutch. Lesson learned. I am older and wiser.

[@x-man5056]

@@stevearnold2456 The guidelines are wavy on dutch treat. On a 1st meet and greet (lunch/coffee shop?), women will often request this. It's fine. But the 1st real date, I'm always spring loaded to footing the bill. If you enter an LTR, such things can be negotiated to each person's satisfaction based on ability to pay. But in early dating, it is a time to schmooze her. Don't get cheap on her, I wouldn't date a woman who I felt unworthy of me paying for her meal either. I never make a deal of paying all myself. If she wants to, don't make a fuss, let her. but I myself wouldn't ask her. I'm not wealthy but I always default to paying for real dates. I'm fortunate in that sense, there are so many more important things to be concerned about, all things considered, it's just easier to wipe away this conundrum and default to paying for me. But I don't date under 40YO women. Could be a whole different scenario.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

If she really liked you, she wouldn't let such a minor thing cause so much resentment. Women are often happy to pay when they really like the guy. At least you didn't waste too much money on her. Let her be another man's problem. It sounds like she is entitled and wants to be treated like a princess. If you paid for the dates, she would have started moaning and complaining about something else. It just sounds like she didn't really like you.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@x-man5056 I think the general guideline is whoever does the inviting pays. I agree with you, if she offers to pay, let her. If she gets angry paying she is probably a future Amber Heard and she should be avoided at all costs. The danger with the man paying for everything, all the time, is that he is leading with his wallet and can come off as a SIMP. If she never offers to pay, that is a red flag.

[@allison5566]

I've gotten so much better with telling my husband when something is wrong not holding it in till I explode randomly. I was always afraid of the conflict but its easier dealt with immediately than festering. If he's asking what's wrong that's a great time to say it!

[@christianhorn1999]

🌟 It works like magic 🌟

[@XxKINGatLIFExX]

Good on you for recognizing that in yourself. You are a high value woman and you are what the future needs, can I ask. Why do you think you have always allowed things to be held to yourself before exploding? This may sound weird, but I reckon it is related to female sexuality. A lot of women like when tension builds up, the more you build it up the more enjoyable the sex later. I perhaps wonder if this has something to do with women holding in their feelings.

[@markwest7258]

@@BB-xx3dv Roughly 80% of girls are sexually assaulted. At least 25% of adult women are raped. Being unseen and unheard can be subconsciously beneficial if you think about it from that perspective.

[@shonjhaw]

Thank you for this video, I saw a woman a few months ago who I thought at the time 'wow, this woman is incredible'. Turns out, I was not the only man she was seeing, and when shit went south with her other options, she reached back out. And no, I did not reciprocate her false emotions, nuff said

[@crimestoppers1877]

You dodged a bullet aimed right at you. Let her target other men for her machinations.

[@waves5114]

As Man, ive found it’s better to worry less about keeping a woman and worry about keeping yourself in shape and in line, once you start trying to figure out or worry about how to keep her, it’s already too late.

[@Eserr7856]

Good point. Keep yourself in line first and she'll stay if she wants to

[@SinnerChrono]

Ive learned that who i am at my core, who i enjoy being and what i want from my life and those around me. Is exactly why i will always be alone and why no woman on earth will ever want me.

[@asdsasadsa3474]

😂😂 I'm feeling exactly the same. Once I share any kind of true feeling, like truly describing my perception of reality or some desire or theory that I have, the ghosting starts. And I mean really ghosting, ignoring, like trying their best to not look at my direction even for a hello. What hurts is that I only do that to those I like, not to try to throw them off but to actually let them know me. They don't agree, they won't tell me that. They won't tell me why I'm wrong, they will just start hating me. It can be like me trying to open up to a girl and say, I feel like the girls at the university only pick guy friends they can use to get their homework done. After that there's just instant unstoppable and unregretful hatred left for me. Like, just say I'm wrong? Hell, I never even said I judged them, I just said that's the feeling I got! Themselves never have any original feelings they can share and stand up for either, it's like they are aware of their own hypocrisy but would rather have you killed than to admit it. You just need to learn your place in the world, and you need to understand women, no one is interested in getting to know you! Fk that! In the end it's never worth it. Even if you like fall crazy in love with someone, she would never fight for you when your bad times come.

[@Darkmattermonkey77]

Just remember; all these things she says that will turn women on and/or attract them, ONLY works if you are her type. All the confidence, passion, drive, charisma, etc, will not win her over if she’s not attracted to you.

[@emanuelmota7217]

That's a bingo. 1) Be tall and attractive, 2) have money and power, 3) the rest is easy.

[@MrMinnesota]

I have 2 older sisters and a mom, I have learned, hard truths vary in the generation. 1. I grew up hearing, "I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND SPIT IT OUT", my sisters were rather impatient at times. 2. They had no problems telling me, how to be impressive if I ever wanted to be in a relationship. I got more info on the tells and signals, watching my sisters. Now I an not saying my family is the end all be all of how to treat women. Just that they had no problem giving advice on what most of all their pieves were. 2. I am finding that even if you know those things, you cannot expect to ever change how they feel about you. 3. The "friend zone" is real. I have found the only reason women talk to me in general is because they know I listen. So from my perspective if all my life ever offers them is a listening ear! What does that say about men? 3. Many of those truths vary depending on the woman. There are women out there looking for a man who wants more then just a "hook up with them" Sad thing is the nice guys finish last as they say. 4. I'd wager if more men quit being sexaholics, it might change women's perseption of all of us. But sadly, there are a lot of pigs out there. 5. Many men can't always decipher what taking charge means, because it depends on the women. 6. I have been around women so long, I am practically ignorant to whatever tells they may be doing. I grew up watching the hair flips, the adjustments of the shirt and so on, to me I would literally have to have someone "say to my face I like you" Maybe that is a good thing though from what I have seen of women today at least

[@karineaghajanyan]

Congrats you actually got most of it right, like 99,9% right, this lady just like many other like her keep generalising, using broad expressions, speaking on behalf of all women (for some reason), assuming a lot, cherry picking her favourite parts & leaving everything else she doesn't like behind, having 0 nuance in her takes, has rigid & one dimentional views of women.....also keeps infantilising women with odd expressions .

[@initiatorhater0688]

my mindset is, if women don't care about mens struggles, then we as men should not care about womens struggles either. Another thing, i have had this mindset for quite sometime now, as women get older and hit the wall, i feel i should not have sympathy towards them for that, due to womens passivity, on how women have always played a passive role in dating, human mating, and women can get away with being socially inept, women never risk having their social awkwardness or social ineptness be labeled or dismissed as weird or creepy, because a brutal cruel fact of reality is that, tons of guys, men, get labeled weird or creepy just for approaching women, making advances on them due to what nature has dictated of men for all time, and men will get thrown those labels, when they never meant any harm, were never trying to hurt anyone. I don't like it but it will never change, i hate how guys, men, are the only gender that have to screw up or mess up interactions, deal with social failure when it comes to improving on how to interact with the other sex.

[@RS-xo7rd]

Very well said.

[@rdthaprariedawg]

I agree. I had an acquaintance I used to work with many years ago. He was young, about 24, and was a decent alright guy from what I could tell. He committed suicide. His note said he was lonely and didn’t feel like he fit in anywhere. The thing is - when I went to his funeral, it was filled with women! Women from work, women he went to school with, friends of his family. So many times that day, I heard different women say “he was so cute/nice, I had a crush on him but I never said anything…” You couldn’t help but think how that information could have changed his life - but no, they’re supposed to be passive. What garbage. So no - I don’t think they can have it both ways. It can’t be “We’re supposed to wait and let you take charge” and “if she likes you, she will show it” at the same time. If they can’t be Big Girls and act like they want something with us, then just leave us alone and let us die

[@alshermond]

Spot on

[@johnmcaulay8448]

💯 They only care about themselves, & the only option at all, if you want marriage leave the west.

[@kalebwieland4938]

Been there, trying to get out of it.

[@Pablo1517]

The real harsh truth is that women usually don't take time to grow until they find a partner that has far outgrown them and will teach them how to be a decent adult. So basically, you have to treat them like bigger children.

[@Eserr7856]

Do you find this is true for all women across the board, above average looks, average, and below average looks? Do you think it is due to societal expectations for women or how that woman was raised by her father?

[@shaymalchione809]

Oh please there are soooo many man babies out there.

[@Viv234]

@@shaymalchione809there are man babies and women babies. Humans are children. That’s why authoritarianism exists

[@sburns2421]

@@shaymalchione809 Nothing about his statement implies males are naturally more mature. Just that when there is a mismatch in emotional maturity the "younger" women may have a chance to grow. I personally do not ascribe to this, IMO personal growth happens alone and within oneself. Your partner prodding or expecting you to act a certain way is not going to do it. Only them leaving or the real threat of them leaving may provide that motivation to mature.

[@brandonharrison9791]

Spot on partner

[@InventiveFilms]

As a man I love your message. Society wants to strip men of masculinity and it is reassuring to hear the encouragement for men to tap into it.

[@JesseBrown-qf6zp]

If reassurance is required, then masculinity has essentially already been stripped away.

[@nicholasbrassard3512]

The mind reader thing is so true. Sometimes me and my girl communicate so well and other times she's like 'you should know what I want from you and what I need' which is such a frustrating mentality. Plus the 'if she likes you' tip. In the beginning my girl was really into me, super talkative and wanting to make plans together. But she has become more distant. I suppose I've been looking the other way as she replies less and less :/

[@OpEditorial]

Roll up your sleeves fellas, because you'll be doing *literally ALL the work*

[@chrisk1948]

Courtney, I got the chills when you mentioned men feeling like they have to be mind-readers. I said the exact same thing to my now ex. I believe she is/was a good person, but she never told me when I did things she didn’t like, until we got into a heated disagreement, and then I got hit with everything all at once.

[@PaperRaines]

To be fair...... those times you got hit all at once, you ever notice a pattern between the grievances? Or hell, was it the same thing(s) over and over? I think when people complain about the "mind reading" thing it's more of a being inflective and thoughtful, making connections between conversations, using some analysis and not needing to have every little nuance spelled out in detail Like if you're with someone for long enough, you should be able to start drawing at least some accurate inferences without being told explicitly. And at that point if you are trying, in good faith, with effort, and some accuracy, I don't think you get killed as much for getting something wrong But if you're obtuse to your partner's non-verbal communication and details about them and their desires and fears and annoyances and whatnot after a period of time and interactions, it can come across as if you don't care, you're not grateful for them, or you're not even trying, ie. you don't think it's worth it to And I'm not saying I agree with that point of view, I'm just trying to lend some functional logic to something that's not entirely logical in and of itself. On one hand it makes total sense to say what you want and don't want, on the other however there's a lot of things in our lives that happen without prior conversations, and we like and value those things too. So I can't totally fault women for adopting that

[@richardthomas598]

The whole notion of women being better communicators is bogus. A communicator communicates. They don't expect you to pick up on their body language when you aren't even in the room.

[@ronmexico8383]

@@PaperRaines Women are terrible communicators. Atrocious is a better term. "I'm fine" A good communicator knows "I'm fine" means "I'm fine". Stop making excuses for women being atrocious communicators. Women need to level up. Women have been pampered too long.

[@PaperRaines]

@@ronmexico8383 "women are terrible communicators, and, they need to level up" " Stop making excuses for them, they're atrocious at communicating" " women have been pampered for too long" ...... mmmm..... I can smell your resentment, frustration, tears, and anxiety, through my cell phone screen. Well, whatever lady is with you or ends up with you...... won't she be a lucky one.............. Ttyl pal 👋🏾

[@Luked0g440]

Weemon LOVE to sandbag and then ambush. It feels empowering to them.

[@williamgrand9724]

6 reasons why you should just stay single.

[@machupikachu1085]

That's the spirit!

[@johnd.2675]

6 reasons why I am single

[@naradaramanayaka3291]

Hell ya buddy 😂🤝

[@guitarcrazyusa]

Well guys, most (if not all) of this stuff is true. At first I thought this would be a bit “ditsie”, but it’s not. I’ve learned much through the decades. Bottom line, YOU need to be a “quality” guy if you want the same in a partner. Thinking you’re great can’t compare to BEING great.

[@wizard8715]

She wants all this security but i ask for a sammich and i get attitude. Welcome fellas, to hypergamy and gynocentrism...

[@gabrielrcortina]

Being authentically myself is the hard part, but I will remain who I am because of that sole reason. The chances of me finding the right person is just as likely as me finding love in myself. I'm very different, and I absolutely love that.

[@scottclark3761]

I had to break my wife of the mindreading thing. Adults ask for what they want. It took us a while to get there, but she's pretty blunt with me now. She is naturally passive-aggressive, but now she isn't like that with me. I have shown, time and again, that it doesn't work on me, and will never work on me. And I have bent for her here and there, too. I have had to learn how she feels loved, and make sure I am doing those things. At least some of those things, I am not perfect. But yeah...stick to your guns a bit on important boundaries. The right kind of woman will respond favorably.

[@prashanthb6521]

My sister is the same way but multiplied by 10 times. She was also my "business partner" while building my business. But she never communicated, even work related stuff. So I tried to make her understand by becoming passive myself....2 months of that and still she did not start talking so I kicked her out. Now I am saddled with heavy work and become a one man army :(

[@jasono2139]

Lol... Reminds me of a fight I had with my wife where she thought it was reasonable that I "should just know" what she wants and that she shouldn't have to tell me... To say the least I think, I gave up after that stupidity and went to do literally anything else. You can't argue with stupid.

[@jneilson7568]

This is such a healthy, wholesome comment, I'm glad it worked out with your wife because sometimes women give the worst advice to each other. Takes knowing a decent man to reign in some of the passive aggression. My partner realised he could actually tell me if he didn't like something I'd made for dinner. Definitely live and learn without screaming at each other 🙂

[@itsshierlz]

I used to have passive aggressive tendencies and expect my partner to mind read. I think I - and a lot of women - were brought up with this mindset of “if I have to ask it doesn’t count” and “if he cared he would know (without me having to tell him).” Partly I blamed all those romcoms, but also I learned later on that there was an underlying reason for this. I had an insecure attachment (anxious preoccupied), and my core wound that “I’m not good enough” and fear of abandonment led me to subconsciously feel that I wasn’t able to express my needs. Something my therapist said really clicked: “you can’t expect someone to *just* know what you want/need, because everyone has a different life history and perspectives etc. you need to clearly and specifically ask for what you want”. Healing my attachment wounds and practising communicating my needs (in a very specific but non judgemental way) were the biggest game changers in our relationship. We are both happier now, and no my partner definitely isn’t perfect either but he is also willing to communicate and meet me halfway most of the time.

[@scottclark3761]

@@itsshierlz Oh, I kinda glossed over a bunch there. Sounds familiar. We have been together 25 years and married for 17 of them. It took a lot of heart to heart talks. I just held to my boundaries through it all. It's took us the better part of two decades to unwind the damage her mother caused with her narcissism. This is why I say a wedding is a party, a marriage is work. Many gals today seem to want the party and the presents, but not the effort and the sacrifice. But I digress. We all have baggage. We're all broken. You won't find a perfect partner, but you might find one that's broken in the right ways that you support each other. That's the deal. Congratulations to you and your husband! Putting in the work is the way.

[@mikemusialowski4473]

Great emotional maturity, Courtney. We.. I appreciate you not being purely utilitarian in your comments and approach but also addressing ingredients for a lasting deeper relationship. YOu mentioned having "done the work" (on yourself) and it shows. I'm 55 now, 35 years clean and sober, divorced and dating a new woman for the last 6 months. As a young man, mixed messages were my biggest frustrations about women. A) I'm better at reading women now (my ex's-and-my therapist called it "tuning in") and B) I'm pursuing older women than when i was younger, so they got no time to waste and bullshit and "tend" to be more direct and honest. My fave of your comments were about the diff between finding and keeping a partner. Brilliant! Your videos are so helpful. Thanks. :-)

[@nenadzivanov6974]

The more i watch Courtney I realize i dont even want to find a partner. Having partner seems so conplicated suddenly. Im already used to live in my solitude and Im prepared to leave it like that forever

[@nirupampratapgiri1348]

Me too! I’m checked out and it’s awesome. Life is more peaceful without women. Women are only good for sex, that’s it.

[@rangerwhite5165]

Currently watching my friend getting destroyed in a divorce. The system is totally weighted towards the woman. Marriage is madness for men. You're lining up to lose all you have. House, assets and access to your children. Men are realising all this isn't worth it.

[@pandemicneetbux2110]

It's not only that though, in fact that's literally not even the primary thing; the primary problem is modern girls aren't worth it to begin with. Like if she was actually really compelling let's be honest, you'd take the chance anyway. I know how all guys work and so do you, if we see something we want we don't care if we have to obliterate our members in the process, we are the people who will proudly explain to the emergency room how we got that injury. The real problem with it all is that the women themselves aren't even worth it, I mean, what have you got some obese trump voter, a deranged fat feminist lecturing you about "body acceptance," a heavily tattooed girl whose ass is all over the internet, a girl who's more plastic than woman and leaving up an instagram with no pics of you as a boyfriend. These chicks flatly aren't worth it, and like I said elsewhere, the real problem is there's so many douchebags and thirsty guys that are going to fuck and leave them that they mistakenly presume the pool of candidates is bigger than ever. What they didn't realize is that meanwhile of their selection of 10,000 dicks on the internet next to none of them are going to be willing to marry any of them. That's the problem, is that these women--and the men too frankly--don't understand the difference between "yeah I'll fuck you" and "yes I do I'd marry you." For emphasis, just because she'll shtup you, doesn't mean she's willing to husband you. This is partly why online dating is such an STD laden cesspool, and because of the way the numbers favour women, girls like online dating because they haven't yet realized the massive drawbacks. For one, some of the guys you'd actually want to date are not on there. Secondly, most of the guys that are online are looking to use you for sex and hookups, at least with tinder. So you're going to rack up your bodycount with guys that are basically using you for sex, that in turn is going to severely harm your chances for a lifetime relationship later on. Like I said, you as a woman aren't going to be able to read the real situation with online dating because it's going to *look like* there's plenty more fish in the sea than ever before, but without realizing there's probably not a husband in there. You might get lucky but that's kind of a hitting the lottery thing. And meanwhile guys are so fed up with the stupid shit and the toxic crap with dating especially and the whole Western culture broadly that we've largely stepped away. So from a woman's point of view it's still going to look like plenty of fish even if literally half of all men simply walked away from dating, and yes this includes the guys who are attractive. No attractive man is willing to put up with your bullshit unless he's getting sex out of it, and if he does, odds are he's not gonna stick around. Women don't know this, which is why they still see online dating as viable, especially the super immature ones who are still literally operating off their girlhood checklist, because dating online allows you literally to fill out a checklist like you're shopping for a handbag. What they don't realize, is most of these aren't quality men to begin with, and nearly all the quality guys are not going to settle down with you, and that from the male vantage point tinder is literally just about free sex. Actually it just dawned on me, that women probably didn't even think about what it looks like from our perspective, yes tinder is basically just for "free" sex and hookups to a guy. If you are trying to settle down I'd strongly recommend against crap like tinder. That's where you wade neck deep in hookup culture. The problem is of course outside of those issues, the women of today are not even worth it, and I see Conservative women get on the horn like they're so much "better" than liberal girls because they're not feminists and meanwhile seem oblivious to the fact they're even worse. Seriously, Republican girls are mostly all square jawed mannish and have cruel eyes, at least liberal girls regardless what deranged tranny or feminist ideas they hold are still sweet women (often, not always) whereas Republican girls are just straight up bitchy, and both groups are entitled af. That's the problem. It's the entitlement and self obsessed narcissist celebrity/youtube star/tiktok/twitter culture that's so completely rotten, and now with it feeling like most girls are doing porn, what on earth makes you think I am going to risk half my finances and never seeing my kids for a girl that's basically a prostitute and she's insufferable to be around? A majority of girls (at least white women) are incapable of even being a good friend in my book. It's not even about marriage and wife or mother material at this point, I mean the culture is so sick and toxic that I stopped even being able to look at a lot of women as being friends. We're pulling up our bridges. The nastiness, the entitlement, the princess mentality of girls that are basically hookers, it astounds me. That's why I don't even see anyone outside immigrant communities as viable at this point. I'm aware of how dickish and borderline toxic that sounds, but it's just true, we're risking a lot and for black men with black women, or white men with white women, if you went to a public highschool and drowned yourself on American pop culture and internet culture, then it's like digging for a diamond in sewage sludge. The thing is, so many fuckboys will still be willing to put up with all that to get laid, so these princesses can't even see that, and get this warped, overly inflated, narcissistic self view that they're "baddies" when the fact is a minority of men are still going to have sex with you even if you're below average, but nobody other than needy guys are going to want to be with you and put up with you for a below average woman with below average character (and far as that goes, "average" character is now rock bottom to me).

[@chadcadsonvii5258]

👍

[@richardthomas598]

1980 called. It wants its trope back.

[@patrickhandlovsky7665]

yes - I went through one four years ago now and it was absolute hell - especially with kids involved - I'm surprised I'm still here in many ways. Thank the good Lord for that.

[@danruiz1309]

@@richardthomas598 have you been through a divorce? sounds to me like you're speaking from the sidelines with no real world experience, or you're trolling/trying to be funny...

[@tomybotkins8191]

I’m fine with them having standards but it seems like their expectations are a bit disrespectful. How can you expect something when you don’t even know the person.

[@JACQUEZJOHNSON23]

Speaking nothing but facts

[@KairiDivine]

Especially on dating apps where most will only match with you based on superficial photos before getting to know ya (and some only use the apps for validation) You could be a great match for someone, but just never given a chance. I got lucky with my girlfriend now, but it took forever to find one to actually communicate well. She showed me her account and the amount of matches women get is actually insane lol. I imagine some choice paralysis comes into play when they have so many options though.

[@somethingawesome1462]

Everyone should have standards and boundaries. But we also have to be realistic when we set them

[@dontstalkmedeltoro8816]

Because many men will give it without hesitation.

[@x-man5056]

@@KairiDivine It's a problem. Also, fake profiles. Also, if you are seeking a mature woman, I am, look at the pictures carefully. Do they look 10-15 years younger? Because it's likely an old picture. Good luck with dating apps if you are looking for LTR. Full of yellow and red flags.

[@lilypad7851]

I hate with a burning passion the narratives that women push. "Oh, we want financial security". You know what? We do too! But we don't moan and complain like women. We work. It's 2023, women fought for the right to work, well, you got it! Now work, and provide for yourself. Don't ask that from a man. You're an adult, not a child!

[@machupikachu1085]

Good luck with that.

[@Renatogabriel1221]

I want to provide for my wife… it’s another form of showing her how much you love her. Just dinner isn’t enough.

[@lilypad7851]

@@Renatogabriel1221 funny how many things a man has to do to "show his love" compared to women. And how few things a man needs to feel loved, compared to a woman.

[@allesdurchprobiert]

@@lilypad7851So true! Both your comments.

[@NO.1HaterCatPerson]

Shut up 😂😂😂

[@balancer00]

This was helpful, Courtney. I like to hear about maturing as a human being and seeing this as a manageable, realistic life goal.

[@noelgibson5956]

I asked a woman out a couple of weeks ago and she agreed, but then had a last minute flake out. I said 'no problem, see you around'. I didn't even get angry or ask her why. Didn't want to give her the satisfaction. The I realised:- she never texted or showed an interest. She never asked me anything about myself, despite me asking her things. There's a theory out there that they love playing hard to get. I've never understood this logic. If they like you, it'll be obvious. If it's not obvious..........they don't like you. Simple. If you must chase them, they're not worth your time. If you're rejected, don't get angry and make a fool of yourself. Be graceful and grown-up about it, and make her see she missed an opportunity. Get yourself to the gym and become a Sigma male.

[@RC-eb5hq]

The thing about chasing a female is hardwired. It's like this: The egg doesn't swim to the sperm. Study nature for a couple years and get back to me.

[@DarkPrince784]

That sucks, but in a way I kind of get it. Having to tell someone that you’re not interested in them is uncomfortable and a lot of people will avoid doing it, if possible. This girl realized she could take the easier route of feigning interest and then standing you up. If I was female I’d probably do the same thing and I’m sure you would too.

[@alyssawoodman]

She won't see it as a missed opportunity if she never liked you in the first place. People need to understand that. I've turned down guys that went on to make more money, own a home etc and it made no difference in how I felt. I never liked them. Why would I now? If you upgrade and she comes around she's probably still not interested in you she's just interested in your newly acquired lifestyle.

[@CodyH88]

I most agree with you here but getting lead on isn't okay either, man or woman doing so. It happens a lot and I just went through it. All I want as a man is simple communication and "hey my BF, Fiance, husband, wife, GF" whatever a woman has going on, put it in a conversation as soon as possible. Don't keep smiling, acting flirty, and asking vague questions while not saying a few IMPORTANT things about herself I need to know. It really will go a long ways, ladies. I know some guys are crazy and it's risky but most regular guys will appreciate the upfront honesty so we can move on.

[@wastrel09]

@Alyssawhatever so you’re justifying flaky behavior among women? Wouldn’t it be more honest for the womyn to say “no I’m not interested” at the beginning?

[@aladarmezga4942]

In general, not just with women, I used to assume people didn't want to talk to me and at the first opportunity I said good bye and walked away. Then I started to do this thing where I said things that people usually say when they are trying to end a conversation, but I didn't end it right away. I was so surprised, that they kept the conversation going even sometimes after several "well, all right then..." and so on from me. They brought up new topics and kept on talking with me and I learned, that I might be less of a nuisance, than I previously thought.

[@jneilson7568]

I'm glad you stuck with it, that's awesome to discover 🙂 Men and women both just want someone to be interested in them, in a relationship and their friends too. In some ways it probably can be that simple 😅

[@allesdurchprobiert]

Congrats! That was a major step! 👍 Might sound cheesy, but I'm proud of you! Our biggest enemy lives inside our skull. Feels awesome if something turns out positive despite your own pessimism, right?

[@raymondsmith2154]

As always Courtney you are spot on. I've had some experience, my wife and I celebrated our 45th anniversary 2 weeks ago.

[@robertfournier7050]

Body language and just being able to observe her moods. I hate that I'm a quiet person who tends to be shy only for the first few minutes. I'm short yet I think I'm big in who I am. Learning is my favorite pass time. Yes i have a hard time with signals

[@Harikejn]

Important thing: 0:20 First Thing - Attracting VS. Keeping A Woman; 1:38 Agree with that (the most important thing is who you are in your head, and your heart); 2:22 Second Thing - They Like Guys Who Take Charge; 4:08 Third Thing - They Know How To Swindle Weak Man; 6:22 Fourth Thing - They Want You To Be A Mindreader; 7:43 Agree with that (do a conversation with our partner); 8:17 Fifth Thing - They Desire Security; 10:34 Sixth Thing - If She Likes You, She Will Want To See You; 11:49 Important wisdom; and 12:23 to summarize all the told here. Among the all mentioned I can add some other things. And those are: 7. You have to be relaxed (or better go with the flow); 8. Nothing is done when you are forcing anybody (and when you are persistent in it); and 9. They desire loyalty. Some of the thing that you have told Courtney can be used in some other life situations, and also when men, and women are behaving to other people. Of course, we would of know if someone has told us some thing a bit earlier, but it's hard to tell. Like one of my professors from faculty told one thing (that I have mentioned in some of your videos): "It's easy to be a general after a battle. Let us see you in the role of the generals during the battle and make some crucial and most important decisions to solve those dilemmas and problems." The color of the nails goes well with the pattern of the dress, the color of the couch, the color of the pillow, your beautiful ring and your beautiful smile 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏. La perfection madam 😉😘😘😘🙂🤓😎❤❤❤.

[@VadimBolshakov]

TLDR Women are certainly not men's friends. Men have to go through hardships not thanks but inspire being with women. And only ready to consume end product, well then don't be surprise that men only ready to consume women: a) for breeding b) for fun

[@toobalkain]

dude, we get it, you like the chick, but c'mon, emojis, seriously?

[@Harikejn]

@@toobalkain I was just trying to be polite. Are you jealous of these emojis? Cause if you are I can tell you that you have to change your mindset, and you way of thinking. I respect Courtney's way of living, and I only gave her support, beside's behaving as a polite person (bu that doesn't mean that I don't have boundaries).

[@Misael8924]

​​​​​​​​​@@HarikejnSome of the things she mentioned are contradictory to the state of women of today an unrealistic. You put out a unbearably list which many can not take. If women wants all that ? Then they have to Submit under a man. Now that's Biblical an more accurate about themselves. Stop being Rebellious, Argumentive, stop listening to the "Jezebel " spirit. Women of today aren't fit to have all that. Only some women who earned it. You basically saying they can have their way an we just give it to them just because they're Female. Yeah sure.

[@-Sean_]

@@toobalkain we're all learning, be more supportive or don't comment

[@ronmexico5908]

Women like someone else to do work they don't want to do. Its packaged as leadership, confidence, etc because it is unpalatable to say whats true. Everything boils down to the basics

[@SirRivelion]

Yeaaah... Leadership - make all the hard choices and bear the responsibility and blame if it fails; Confidence - manifesting that you've met all the checks on their checklist; ambitious - she wants you to constantly climb the ladder of higher and higher income and status; Safety - money to take care of her and children, even if she doesn't work (because if she does, you better earn a lot more than she does, you won't really see that money anyway, and enjoy the jabs like "well... Susan doesn't have to work :/ ") Vulnerable - so you tell on yourself when you are weak; etc., etc. All of that to make sure the kids will survive, but a lot of them don't want kids, cook or clean anyway - just want to have fun and live rent free, like a big child. And you could be all of that and yet marriages fail so much, because on top of all of it, it's extremely hard to find another person, who shares your values and vibes with you, who is not only your partner, but a best friend, who loves you and enjoys you for you, and not the things you can provide or how that makes her feel.

[@timothygibney159]

That's biology 101. Man up or stay single. It's all about provisioning and protection for her babies even if she has none

[@DevPythonUnity]

oh i can do the leadership, go clean the dishes, go to work, prepere me food, i can do all the leadership work ;) women dont want that, they want free stuff, free safty, basicly they want to outsoruce the responibilites of life to sombody else

[@Trifler500]

I think it's possible that some women see how their Dad would "just do" things that their Mom wanted done, without having to be asked. They may not realize that Dad knows to do these things because they've been together for decades. She told him things she wanted long before their daughter was born, and they've had time to figure out a routine, chores, etc. Dad did just magically know from the get-go.

[@bronovalter391]

I stumbled upon this and was curious about what you said. I've been married 21 years to a magnificent woman and I can corroborate everything you say. I'm not perfect in all things, but you give a laundry list of things I strive for in my relationship with her. Both my wife and I are good about setting and communicating boundaries and our boundaries are important. We both come from family environments were mind reading was considered a defining part of love, and we both see the error in that, but we still catch ourselves on this one. We both shine on emotional and financial security. From a man's point of view, this is important in a woman too.

[@tommygunn6901]

I've been growing on my own now. I stopped going to therapy months ago. All of these truths are spot on, based on experience. In terms of mental health growth, I have began writing my own book about men's mental health as well as my experience of what I went thru.

[@karuns9500]

Very cool. With the suicide rate so high for men, I think a book about mental health for men is a great idea. Stay Strong!

[@thickcheeks9603]

I should too,.. I think it took strength for you to go through it.

[@jeffreycheng5984]

@karuns9500 In Feudal Japan, suicide is an act of honor. When the Samurai warrior lost his master, he had the shame and dishonor of being known as Ronin. He then took his own life.

[@tommygunn6901]

That is amazing! Thank you for the comments yall

[@omotayosatuyi252]

Get back to therapy bro

[@steelfanther328]

Wife: Will you still love me when I become fat, ugly and grumpy as hell? Husband: And what do you think I am doing NOW?! ... - A Russian joke

[@faustinosantoro2811]

Your videos are really helping me. I have quite a few of the problems you describe, but now I feel much more confident about dating again. Thank you Ms. Courtney Ryan!

[@mrchaoslordlol]

I broke up with my girlfriend we were 9 years together so being single right now feels a bit weird. Your videos really do help though they make me even more worried that dating has become a science unlike a few years back 🐱

[@nobodysperfect06]

I assume you are still in your 20s

[@mrchaoslordlol]

@@nobodysperfect06 yes you are assuming correctly. I'm 28 right now

[@nobodysperfect06]

@mrchaoslordlol not everyone gets to date or have a relationship very young or very early in life like you do, there are lots of people, mainly guys, around your age who have never had a girlfriend before

[@Sydberg]

So basically, men should do all the work to have a healthy relationship. Lead, plan, provide and protect.

[@crabbubbles1161]

Yeah....what a 'deal'....can't pass up that offer.

[@DevPythonUnity]

what is given for free is not appresated

[@tomaszstramel3594]

True. Getting her phone number means nothing unless you know how to follow up and stay in character. And make sure the "character" is who you are - no one can sustain acting fake in the long run.

[@christophergraves6725]

I agree with much of what Courtney is saying but there are some subtleties that I would add. First at 5:37, Courtney speaks of a guy being manipulated by a girl he is in love with while she holds him at bay. From my own personal experience, anytime that I have ever fallen in love with a girl, she has responded in kind or in one case, returned my feelings to an extent while being intrigued by me. In this one case, we were both seniors in high school and she was engaged to an older guy who was a college football player. This is also the one case in my life when it took me months to come to have romantic feelings for a love interest. I was never that physically attracted to her even though she was very good looking. She went out with me when, as far as I know, she refused all other offers for dates. There was a noticeable chemistry between us that apparently other students picked up on to the extent that they gossiped about us and that gossip got back to my mother who made comments about her (favorably). This is one of most girls I met and fell for whom I could not marry because I was in no position to support a wife or there were other complications. This time I was just in high school. In every other case, I fell quickly and the girl responded favorably, in all but one case, they responded favorably to me quickly. In the other case where she did not respond favorably, she did after I kept after her for about a year. But I have had cases where I was attracted to a girl and we seemed to get along. Then when I asked her out, she refused me. Apparently, these girls did not view me romantically but wanted to keep me around. I just left them alone. But someone else might not have left them alone and gotten taken the cleaners as Courtney describes. But, in my case, I was not "head over heels" in love with any of these girls. I can only think of this happening to me twice. It is imperative for the man to only open his heart to a girl whom he has actually fallen in love with and this should be a difference that is as clear as being hit between the eyes with a baseball bat as he feels that he has been transformed by this highly exceptional lady and just having sexual feelings coupled with a warm regard for the girl. I am not sure, but what I suspect happened to me in these cases of being jerked around by a girl and perhaps other men in a similar situation is that the woman might very well find the man attractive, but they prefer someone else or someone of a another "type" or someone in a better position to marry them as with the girl I knew in high school. But they really do appreciate the man and might use him not for money or some nefarious purpose but as a "backup boyfriend." Women usually have another man on their leash, even if married, who can step in if their main love interest goes down. This other guy is dependable and available and can be relied on if things go awry. In a famous case of this Anne Boleyn had a quasi-romantic relationship with a court poet, Thomas Wyatt, but who she really wanted was Henry VIII since he could make her queen of England. And Henry is who she got. But when things went downhill in their marriage, she turned back to Thomas for a time before she was imprisoned and executed. Thomas Wyatt was charged with adultery but was released due to his relationship with Henry's main advisor at the time, Thomas Cromwell. Another of such case of a backup boyfriend was Avidius Cassius whom Marcus Aurelius' wife Faustina kept ties with. When reports of Marcus Aurelius' death came to Rome from the northern frontier, she instantly turned to Avidius and worked to have him proclaimed emperor. Unfortunately, the reports of Marcus Aurelius' death were "greatly exaggerated." She ended up dead. No one knows exactly what happened to her. But you can see why women have been this way and why they have a tendency to "move on" much more heartlessly and quickly than do most men if they truly love a woman. Finding another man to care for her and provide and protect her have been essential to a woman's survival throughout most of human history. A man does not turn to a woman to protect or provide for him so this is not an issue for a man. For example in this case of Faustina, if her husband had really died, then she needed to act quickly to align herself with another powerful man who she knew truly cared for her because others in the Roman court would have tried to kill her and her son on the way to their taking power. As far as being a "mind reader," no men cannot read minds, but if the man and the woman are really attuned to each other then he should be able to sense what she is experiencing and attend to her feelings much more spontaneously than if he were not deeply in love with her. This attunement will not be perfect, but it will connect them much more intimately than if they are not in love. This is why women quite rightly look for this deep connection with a man and they should. As the woman I have cared for the most in my life said of us, "We are Simpatico." If you are not Simpatico with the lady then you should not be wasting her time and your's. Continuing such a relationship will only lead to heartbreak. This is not something that builds over time. Rather, this connection, in most cases, will be felt very quickly by the man and then he will woo the woman to be his. The wooing in my own experiences, with the two exceptions that I mention above, happened almost instantly with the girl responding to me with great intensity. Love is the key to this and without love, then the two people are not that intimately connected and never will be.

[@talktoeric]

I'm on the autism spectrum, 49 years old, and deaf. Many women consider me attractive and I get hit on by women in their 20s, but I'm still struggling to find the right person. Also, I hate it when my time gets wasted by dead ends.

[@hotpockets69]

I remember when people used to go outside and experience life. It's sad that society is at a point now that folks just settle for watching relationship guru videos consisting of a bunch of generalizations.

[@Danny328DT]

I've been looking at these videos to put a side of caution since I've never been in a relationship before. I was the guy that was super safe and missed a lot of opportunities to be with someone. I guess a dodged a couple of bullets since most of those encounters were in school, and girls would often play games with me.

[@shaymalchione809]

I’m with you all of these are so shallow idk what happened to just finding someone you vibe with.

[@xjoemallardx]

​@@shaymalchione809vibes don't mean shit if they reject a date.

[@hotpockets69]

@@xjoemallardx there's 400 million people in America. Unless you live in some random state like Wyoming where there's barely any humans or some shit state like West Virginia where everyone is an opiate junky living in crippling poverty, there's no excuse to be stuck up on rejection. It's like you people on KZbin have lived a life where no one ever told you no, so you're either afraid to do anything at all out of fear of being told no or you literally don't know how to handle being told no.

[@allesdurchprobiert]

I've been watching dozens of flirting/dating/sex/relationship, "what women really want" and "how men need to be" videos in the last 2 months. Because I was isolating myself for many years due to chronic depression/burnout, and some childhood trauma I guess. I've been out of the loop that long, and didn't have much experience prior. 0 long term relationships. So I thought those videos might help. But except for a few single insights, they didn't! They are poison for my heart, soul, brain and optimism! Just like TV news or social media, they destroy you from the inside. I'm now more confused, insecure, anxious, demotivated, frustrated, sarcastic and pessimistic than before. All I gathered was: I'm not what "all women" are instantly attracted to, how I would approach it is wrong, anything I say might be wrong, anything I do might be wrong, a surprising percentage of women are heartless selfish assholes, there are 1000 hoops to jump through, there are 1000 unwritten rules to obey, but the rules aren't helpful because even if you follow them all you might still doing it wrong in her eyes at least in that specific moment. The goalposts are always moving. It's never good enough, always wrong. I'm always expected to proving my worth 24/7, to perform, to manage her life for her because she's not really a strong independent adult, to entertain her, to be perfect, to have contradicting personality traits, and that I as a man am a worthless replaceable piece of shit that doesn't have any fellings and shit anyways. So exploiting and abusing me is just fine as long as I'm not a woman. But hey, at least I don't have to worry about being raped and murdered by those evil evil men. I have the privilege to only worry about being murdered. I have it soooo easy due to my male privileges in the patriarchy! 👍 Sorry that this turned into a lengthy rant! *sigh* I really really hope most women IRL didn't get the memos, and are actually a lot more reasonable and kind. Like normal people. At least here in europe. So yeah, it's sad, and all that advice is making things even worse. I should really stop watching that! Thinking is useful, overthinking is self sabotage. See "Thinking: A Good Servant but A Bad Master - Alan Watts"

[@MrHmm...2024]

Real relationships shouldn't be this hard. You either both like and are attracted to each other or your not... The end. If you have to play all these games it's not real. There are billions of other options- go find another.

[@FlamingCockatiel]

My sister was not attracted to her boyfriend the first few months of dating. The two are now happily married.

[@rwyo83]

@@FlamingCockatiel Not true, if they were dating she was attracted, woman don't wast their time on men that she doesn't like

[@FlamingCockatiel]

@@rwyo83 I know her better than you do. She even told me herself that she wasn't attracted to him those first months, and that made a stronger foundation later. Suddenly falling in love is possible but not the only way for romance to occur. Just because we're used to broadband stuff doesn't mean our feelings always happen quickly.

[@rwyo83]

@@FlamingCockatiel Not true. Period

[@oishikhasan8500]

@@FlamingCockatiel lol you don't know your sister as well as you claim you do

[@Quondom]

A couple points to remember: (1) Women who are super-attractive are not usually worth the trouble, because they already get plenty of attention, and they spend a lot of time grooming, which may not be the kind of person you are looking for. (2) To impress a woman, present the qualities she is wants to see. “Rich and handsome” may work, but it also may attract the wrong kind of woman. “Helpful, friendly and sincere” usually works better. “Witty and charming” also helps. (3) If a woman is interested, she will ask you questions about yourself. You should answer honestly, but try to turn it around and ask about her. If she is evasive or hesitates to answer simple questions, then she may be trying to manipulate you, and that is not a relationship you should pursue. But most people love to talk about themselves, and this is your chance to find out what she is really like.

[@tobiasreaper3650]

I'm so glad that she covered the topic of "keeping a woman". There is so much emphasis in the "manosphere" on attracting women, but never anything on keeping one around

[@whirlwindmgtow5534]

Unfortunately in the modern legal climate of the west, it’s not worth it to “keep a w0m@n around”. The longer you’re with her, the more the law and relationship shifts into her favor and less in yours.

[@JamieMcgee518]

I had a girlfriend who avoided talking about SHARED expenses. I didn't force the conversation, but, I knew she wasn't marriage material.

[@Shah-of-the-Shinebox]

Of course, she wants you to foot the bill

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

These types of women are toxic. They are the type to get married, get you to buy a house and give her kids, then she will try and destroy you in divorce court.

[@timothygibney159]

Same. 800k in student loan debt . Didn't want to even discuss it. She was out

[@allesdurchprobiert]

@@timothygibney159In USD?! How on earth... 800k?! 😮 She did at least realize she was scammed, and would never be able to pay it back by going to work, right?

[@Jukeboxster]

This is one of your better topics over the past couple of years. Many men are problem solvers at heart, and many of us accept and *EXPECT* there to be problems to solve. In hindsight, I can say that every past GF or love interest has dropped clues as to what drove their attraction, or what I was doing that was killing attraction, but I don't do well with indirect communication. Since I didn't identify the problem, I didn't think there was a problem, and a breakup comes out of nowhere in my eyes. Hopefully videos like this will help someone in their 20s avoid a lot of wasted time and missed opportunities.

[@PaperRaines]

Same here man, verbatim scenarios. At least people like you and myself bear some of our own responsibility in missing things and getting broken up with, as you can tell from some of the comments in this and especially other videos on this channel there's a lot of men who totally put all the blame on the women who don't "say enough". Well they're saying a lot, if you are listening.... if you _can_ hear them

[@jaqen7122]

For me and i'm sure a lot of other guys, the hardest truth is to see and understand the signs. It would be so much easier if women were more straightforward. If you misunderstand a sign you can instantly make yourself look like a creep in her eyes. But if you miss or don't react to a sign in the right way you probably missed your only shoot with her. She will think you are not interested and so on..I find this childish. I'm also extremely bad at reading people

[@futureshock5641]

'They know how to swindle weak men' dam that hit me hard

[@Torgomasta]

To go with one of your points (not sure if you’ve mentioned this in the past, my bad if so) but if she isn’t dressed nicely when she goes to see you it’s probably because she’s taking advantage of you. A woman that likes you will put the effort into their appearance.

[@jbandt]

Best part was about the introspective piece that most everybody misses in life. A certain amount of time is needed to figure yourself out before you can be a good partner.

[@partridge9698]

Thanks for all this advice. I'm so glad I stayed single all my life without getting too deeply into relationships.

[@patwalsh2868]

Hi Courtney, I found you after subscribing to Marni , n I’m glad your videos showed up n I subscribed to you !!! You are very interesting, great outlook on the issues ❣️ Thank you Hun 😊

[@collinb2546]

Thanks for the video Courtney I’ve moved forward after I told my feelings to a girl I liked at college and she said she just wanted to be friends. I’ve just been focusing on myself and it seems like girls came to me and took an interest in what I was studying for class. I’m oblivious to girls and just assume their friendly so to the statement “If she likes you you’ll know”, I just want them to tell me if they like me or not.(Sorry for the MLA Essay)😂.

[@erniet]

My main takeaway “if a woman likes you, you will know”. Very precise and concise”. It’s that simple guys🤣🤣🤣👏👏

[@Danny328DT]

You're right. That's how I discovered who likes me. The other way you could tell is how her friends act around her when you talk.

[@wongsengkiat3629]

Agreed!

[@KausthubSekar]

- Try but not too hard. - Talk but not too much. - Be emotional but within reason. - Prioritise her but not at the cost of your work, life and hobbies. - Lead but don't control or dominate. - Give her space to breathe and be her own person but don't leave her feeling abandoned when she needs you and reaches out. - Learn from your past relationships to be better and do better but don't let any of those wounds bleed into the present or future. - Remember the little things that matter to her and use those to plan dates, gifts, trips etc. That's the closest you can come to mind reading - anticipating her needs and reading between the lines without making too many assumptions. - Ask. Don't assume. It's always better to ask and clarify and even have tough conversations to get on the same page & match wavelengths. - Take care of your health : physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, financial. It'll help you be the best version of yourself to show up as confident, secure, reliable and a good woman will be happy to support you on this journey & grow together with you. - Don't miss opportunities to show her you care and that you've actively listened to what she has to say. That you value her inputs and that they factor into your decision making. All these lessons I've learnt from dates & relationships that haven't worked out and I'm still single and unable to find someone who is willing to stay and work things out between us even after years of trying.

[@RedandBlackS10]

If you keep catching piranhas, fish in a different pond. =)

[@Randy-us1uf]

Its almost like you gotta pretend not to like her to make her like you. It doesn’t make sense

[@benliftin4awhile]

And that’s why it’s not worth it right there. They don’t give a shit that you did all this my man, that’s just “what you’re supposed to do” while their list of self improvement doesn’t even exist. You seem like a great catch, the problem is that women don’t fish.

[@Ratpack3]

@@Randy-us1ufif that’s the case, then you don’t want that girl anyways. Healthy people are straightforward and honest, damaged people play games and leave you scratching your head. Learned that the hard way.

[@user-fp7ly9ov3y]

I've been married 12 years and together with my wife for 17 years. The truth is of keeping her around, it should be just easy. The relationship should just work. If the relationship is difficult to maintain then it's just not meant to be. That's the cold hard truth of the matter. At the end of the day we all put on a dating face, it's like a job interview! Lol! You put your best foot forward. But once you're in the relationship the day-to-day person eventually comes out, and that's when the relationship should just be easy. If it's not, then it's not meant to be. Period.

[@purestress2597]

I appreciate that she talks like your mom or sister. While some things don't add up she IS helping.

[@4N0081s]

You're such a lovely force of positivity and growth Courtney. It's hard and frustrating dating in my age bracket but I very much enjoy your perspectives. Especially since they aren't catchphrase advices.

[@neilreynolds3858]

Truth 1 - Relationships are hard work and it takes two people who are 100% committed no matter what. 90% on any one side will not last - one of you is holding out because they expect that it will not last. If you plan on things not lasting, they won't. You'll become dissatisfied in some way and then it takes almost nothing for you to break all your promises and teach your kids a lesson that will not be good for them. Feeling like you're fully committed and understanding that the other person is too takes a long time. That's why they used to have long engagements before you wove your truths together in marriage. Truth 5 - Security is important for everybody and hardly any of it is about money. Life is uncertain. One day your up at the top and the next you're on the bottom - that was the medieval image of the wheel of fortune not the TV show version. You need to share your life with somebody who understands that it's the relationships in life that make it worthwhile not the material circumstances. If that's not what you want in a relationship, then you're going to have one relationship after another. Make up your mind what you want in your life and be honest about it with yourself and the people you date. None of this is going to be quick or easy and not having quick and easy is almost un-American. Not having what you want instantly goes against everything we like about being Americans.

[@Omar9-12-18]

Huh?!

[@doom9603]

Easy is literally American. If you want the hard ways take the German way!

[@meerkat783]

As a woman married almost 45 years with 3 unmarried 30 something kids (2 daughters and a son) I can fully understand why they are still single and call bullshit on the ridiculous unrealistic expectations placed on relationships these days and suggest they stay single, make themselves happy with friends, hobbies and career and get a pet - as it’ll be far more loyal and a dam sight easier than trying to meet the umpteen unrealistic expectations of personal relationships these days. Utterly bonkers to expect so much from anyone and a recipe for continual discontent. A successful marriage requires continual compromise and strikes me many seeking a fulfilling relationship wouldn’t even know the word exists. Good luck to you young woman all striving for a man in the top 10% - 100% into 10% just ain’t gonna work.

[@gregprince5283]

A woman's checklist is to long. That's why their so unhappy. They contanstanly try out different men like it's clothing in a department store. They need to learn to be the right person instead of being on a constant quest to find mr right.

[@JoeKlunder1]

@Courtney Ryan Very good, video that I agree with. The only thing I think we all need to remember is that "everyone is an individual, no matter how true these patterns are in general." For example, I once had a roommate who believed that both genders should wait until marriage to sleep in the same bed, etc. He was plenty good-looking, social, intelligent, etc., and had plenty of women who wanted him. Most people would assume he is lying about "waiting until marriage, etc." It may be true in general that "men only have one thing on their mind." But, as we see with individuals, lots of room for unique expression.

[@MrYatesj1]

I made the mistake to actually getting married, I was much more happy being single as I don't need company to be happy and when I feel the want to drop everything and do something its sucks to check in and being told NO when its my life and my money.

[@DaBeast0809]

Well I lost my girlfriend of almost 17 years for a few of the reasons mentioned. No excuses at the end of the day but I have dealt with mental issues most of my life due to childhood trauma. Ultimately I couldn’t be there for her like I was supposed to. So please, work on yourself first as mentioned. No one can help you battle your mental demons but yourself, seek professional help. Even though I lost a great woman, I can honestly say I’m in a better place mentally ever since I put in the work. My heart still hurts but my mind is getting better. I guess you can’t have it all sometimes. ✌🏼

[@jonprince3237]

I'm rrally sorry to hear that. I think sometimes shared adversity with a partner can bring two people together, but I know people it's had the opposite effect on. They got through all the difficult times together, but the process involved them changing and evolving in a way that made them eventually grow apart, until they had to acknowledge they were no longer the same couples. They ended up as stronger people, but the final step was them needing to go their separate ways and start again with someone else.

[@sburns2421]

Not to mess with you or judge you, but have you considered it is possible being with her in some ways could have stifled your personal growth overcoming your childhood traumas? It is interesting you were with someone so long and didn't have this "emotional growth spurt" until she was gone. It is possible she understood your problems better than you did and used that to her benefit.

[@DaBeast0809]

@@sburns2421 I agree that it definitely slowed my mental growth. I should have been alone for a while and delt with my own mental issues before dating anyone. I guess she really loved me and thought I could have gotten better. We also share custody of two kids so I guess she was really hoping I would snap out of it. But I did not seek professional help until she broke up with me. It was a hard lesson for me to learn but I learned it and would much rather be alone now. I only worry about me and my kids at this point.

[@DaBeast0809]

@@jonprince3237 yup that pretty much sums up the relationship with my ex. We just grew apart and forgot who we were. I still hurt but I guess it was for the best because my mind is a lot better. But now that she has quickly moved on, I would much rather be alone than date anymore. Heart break hurts to much.

[@ghostflame9211]

uploaded 38 seconds ago. idk if ive ever been this early. edit after watching the video: these didnt seem like "harsh" truths, they just seemed like reality. 1) who you are inside matters. physical appearance gets you there, but character keeps you there. I agree; its the same the other way around too. a hot girl is a hot girl, but a hot girl with a witch personality is still not marriage/long term material. 2) women like men who take charge - i think most men like to take initiative anyway. it's just a generalization, but i believe most men like to feel needed. i dont mind planning dates and whatnot, i actually think that is fun. i just want to be appreciated for it. 3) they know how to swindle weak men - we know lol. or we should anyway; its almost exclusively weak men funding these OF models. having more money is great and helps alot, but if thats a man's only "game," then hes inevitably going to get gamed back. 4) they want you to be a mind reader - yeah... that sucks. not really sure how to get around that. in a relationship, i would like to believe both parties would work on communicating to get what they want/need out of their partner. but for those of us in the lawless, post apocalyptic wasteland that is single life, if a girl is already expecting you to know her before you become exclusive, that just seems like a red flag and we need to run. and if they're all doing it... suddenly MGTOW doesnt seem so bad. 5) they desire security - good. we desire to protect and provide. if true, then this would appear to work out. however there is clearly an increase of women who think they wear the pants so this might not be so true anymore. 6) if she likes you, she will want to see you - ... sigh 😢 lol. it's true though, and the best thing you can do for yourself is move on

[@CourtneyRyan]

Wooohoo!

[@rougebaba3887]

60 year old male here. If I had to advise any young single male, it would be this... NEVER marry, NEVER live together. There's a period at the end of that sentence. Do those two things and all will go well. You'll be happier than me

[@easlern]

As a man who got cleaned out in a divorce, 100% on this. Prenups will not protect you and you can lose more than you earned during the actual marriage!

[@vladimirandreevich]

One of the saddest things is that many of men have those thing that would keep a women, but, lacking the things to attract her, get little chance to demonstrate them

[@alonsoquirosgranados7568]

I finally left things be the way they are and to accept human nature. Thank you Dear Courtney I loved your video❤️

[@fubaralakbar6800]

I once told a girlfriend: "You are the female here, you're supposed to read MY mind!"

[@tristanerwin7026]

The character of the people you date matters. 20 years later and I’m still messed up and in therapy. Bad people can ruin your life. So don’t let it just be chemistry, attractiveness, and sense of humor be your deciding factors.

[@d179654582248]

Love that your message is about bringing both sexes together. Too much separatism is leading to the horrible dating scene and plummeting birth rates.

[@jtfritz9169]

I am on the autism spectrum as well

[@IaconDawnshire]

Being on the spectrum makes dating nightmare mode. Also on the spectrum

[@DarkPrince784]

I’m on the spectrum too. I hate to say this but my advice is to not even bother with dating. When you have Asperger’s/autism you’re going to have a lot of qualities that women find off-putting and creepy. Trying to date women will backfire on you very badly. Get a dog instead.

[@Jazzmaster1992]

To the first point, I am not so sure that men have not been told how to prioritize things like making a connection emotionally or having a reasonable personality. It seems many men struggle to actually attract women initially, which is why they find themselves rejected or "friendzoned". Think about it: the friendzone happens often when guys make great friends and form meaningful connections, but simply aren't attractive enough romantically or sexually. To the second point, my issue with the idea of men "leading" is that many of the women in my life have been "leaders" in the workplace; in other words, they've had manager positions. So it's hard to imagine a woman who spends 40 hours or more a week telling other people what to do, is somehow incapable of planning out a date or making other meaningful decisions. By all means, I don't mind "leading" if it means having a sense of direction and making decisions. I also don't mind asking someone out if I'm really attracted to them and pursuing the opportunity is out my own interest. It's more so about the pressure of feeling like I have to make the relationship work by always being in charge, because then it also tends to feel like if it fails, it's my fault since I was the one guiding it. As an example, if a man asks a woman out and gets rejected, it's generally on him to reflect on his approach and whether he did something wrong. But apparently, even if a woman likes a man, but does nothing to make her interest known or even pursues him a little (which many guys would love, believe it or not), it's somehow also his fault because it was his duty to be "masculine" and ask her out instead? I'm all for telling people to take charge and take initiative. I just don't understand why it's solely considered a man's place to do these things, especially in modern western culture which is increasingly more individualistic regardless of gender. I just don't feel convinced that this is entirely about women feeling "feminine". It seems more like they don't want to take the same kinds of emotional risks or put in the kind of effort that's expected of men in this aspect of relationships, but by couching it in this idea that it makes them "feminine" to submit, it closes off the possibility that it's more of a personal shortcoming that could potentially be addressed (although, if the guy simply makes up for it in the relationship and doesn't mind doing it, that's fine too). Anyone reading this, feel free to address me if you think I'm wrong. I've been struggling with this idea for a long time now.

[@Dean2489]

💯

[@keonhobgood1551]

I think you’re right some people are just passive by nature men and woman. Just because you’re passive don’t mean you can’t lead been passive my whole life as a manger and a sales lead I only stepped in if I seen things going wrong, if it anit broke don’t fix it has always been my motto and it’s always worked out fine for me. I think the problem is a women doesn’t want a man like that cause she can’t handle making the wrong choices and having the man fix her mistakes all the time.

[@StillAwesome21]

Bars 🔥🔥🔥

[@allesdurchprobiert]

I think that's a great analysis! Agreed! Or as someone else put it: It's all about convenience for women. Let him pick the berries, let me eat them. Why? Because reasons. Strong independent women bla bla etc etc. (And that shows in many different ways)

[@mandarp9472]

Men need to show a spine. Women have endless list of expectations. All the relationship experts are telling men to work on health, money and provide all sorts of luxuries, facilities, security before, after marriage and after divorce with lifelong alimony without bringing anything to the table.

[@epiclifeat4084]

Thanks, Courtney. Only a woman knows how women truly thinks. A pleasure to hear your perspective.

[@pandemicneetbux2110]

That's definitely not true though. Courtney is at least fairly straightforward and honest, but truly getting the way women think requires either asking really experienced men, or becoming experienced yourself. Key point--the mindreading. Which what this means is, that you, as a 20 year old guy, need to be smart enough to realize not to take half the shit coming out of her mouth seriously, and to instead ALWAYS do "the right thing" as opposed to whatever she's saying. She said "it's ok we can split the bill every meal"? She's lying. Sneak the check if you have to. "No nothing's wrong" means "something is definitely terribly fucked up and wrong and every moment I sit here that you haven't figured that out only makes me madder." Women do not communicate honestly and effectively. Period. At least when it comes to a relationship you literally have to be able to read your partner like a book, and in all ways mind you this includes in the bedroom. It's the mistake every youngboy constantly makes, is to believe what women tell them at face value without stopping to analyze what she's really meant by that. And really, half the problem is women treat communication as a social grooming instrument to make themselves look good and their rivals look worse, so a lot of them have a tendency to downplay negative things that are true of themselves and create a different (at times false) narrative because it socially presents themselves in a better light. This is partly why modern males don't act masculine, is because they didn't have their fathers to listen to or didn't have enough experience to understand this fact and instead just bluntly realizing who women are instead of telling themselves these same lies society espouses.

[@ChavezDIY]

This brings up the importance of discussing gender role expectations when dating before moving to something more serious.

[@stevenwallace773]

Ive mentioned this before but you haven't addressed it. The whole "If a woman likes you you'll know" assumes that you have other women to compare her to. Oftentimes that woman who doesn't like you but is just being friendly is the only woman that's ever been friendly to you. By that logic the guy thinks "wow! This girl talks to me nicely and smiles at me and asks me questions and needs me for things occasionally!! She must REALLY like me!". Thats of course in comparison to every other girl who either doesn't notice that you exist or is openly hostile.

[@Frontline35]

You don’t need to have other women to compare them to. There are other people in your life that are close to you that you can compare it to. If not then you have other things you should work on rather than dating.

[@stevenwallace773]

@@Frontline35 for myself the people I interact with include like 2 or 3 close male friends who I've known for 10+ years, family that I speak to a few times a month, coworkers who are male or are married or are my parents age, and that's really it. The only dating age girls that I see regularly are either paid to be happy to see me (waitresses, barbers, bartenders, etc), or are my friends girlfriends or wives. Which of those are even remotely comparable to someone I'd be trying to date?

[@jamesjonnes]

Just be blunt and ask her if she's interested in you. Do that even if you're not interested in her. It clears things up. There is nothing worse than dragging things with her either hiding that she wants you to approach her, or her thinking you're a creep and just being nice to you for other reasons. Leave the romance to Disney movies, not for real life.

[@stevenwallace773]

@@jamesjonnes I can't believe that I didn't' I think of such a simplistic and reductive solution!

[@jamesjonnes]

​@@stevenwallace773 If she thinks that doing this is bad, then she isn't relationship material anyway. She's just going to want you to be a mind reader forever and then get resentful when you predictably fail to read her mind. This will reduce your chances of finding a partner but will also avoid a lot of headaches. Many people aren't relationship material, anyway. Forcing relationships on them will just get both hurt. Most marriages end in divorce, etc. Men who really want to increase their chances need to approach a bunch of women to find the rare good ones. Otherwise, you'll probably get the worst women. Or get a passport.

[@frankchisolm1270]

I have a rejection issue,and its hard to approach women that i don't think are interested in me!

[@user-di8yk3bu6u]

Decades ago, when dating, I met at least 3 women saying they divorced their husbands because they would do anything they asked. All 3 had 3 children with the ex.

[@joepic85]

It got to the point with me. What was required from me to keep a woman, was complete bullshit, so i just got divorced, and its a million times better

[@Jonbwriter]

Regards to 4 being a mind reader -- Thank You! Women are apparently raised to be able to pick up how someone is feeling based on nonverbal cues and think men can do the same, but we are not! If you don't want us to do something or wear a certain outfit, just say it! If she says "Do what you want," guess what -- that's exactly what I'm going to do.

[@mrsherwood2599]

They actually aren't, dude. That's a phony lie. Don't fall for it.

[@Jonbwriter]

@@mrsherwood2599 yeah right! LMAO Remember that when you expect your husband to remember something without you having to say anything.

[@giorgosdro7059]

Can they though?If women are such amazing mind readers,as we're led to believe,then how can they end up in abusive relationships?

[@mrsherwood2599]

@@Jonbwriter wait, my husband?

[@Jonbwriter]

@@mrsherwood2599 well with your screen name, I just assumed you were married. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[@brandonbennett4615]

Man, when you said women swindle weak, man, that shit. I experienced that in 2021. What I come to learn is two things: 1) Trust patterns, not words 2) No message is a message Take it from a fool. The best advice that I would give anyone is to do therapy and to work on yourself. Get you to where you need to be in life. If you're not right, nothing will ever be.

[@TerryProthero]

All of this is very solid advice. I'm on the autism spectrum. I can read some social cues. I understand some basic things. But there are a lot of gaps in my skills in that regard. But my patience level for the whole mind reading thing would be close to zero. And I will be happy to communicate that in very unambiguous terms. In fact, I even ask people to communicate with me in an unambiguous way in the platonic relationships I have. And I don't waste my time and energy on people unwilling to do that. Because, quite frankly, it's not worth it for me. I don't need that many friends. So, I can be selective. And while neurotypicals may have more of a tolerance for this than I do, they really shouldn't put up with the mind reading expectation either. Everyone needs to communicate their thoughts clearly. At least clearly enough for the average person to easily understand. Even if someone like me might have some trouble with it. If a person isn't willing to meet this basic standard, they really aren't relationship material. And that assessment needs to be made early on in the process.

[@allesdurchprobiert]

Completely agree! If even simply talking is too much to ask for, than I don't even want to know what else is also too much to ask for. I'm probably slightly on the spectrum too. But I guess if I wasn't, I'd feel the same about this.

[@adamprince1285]

Here's the biggest harsh truth. Someone once said "Women treat men like men treat jobs". This can have so many meanings but imho and experience it has meant there is always something better always someone better. But hey the right lady will appreciate you right?😂

[@Danny328DT]

There are some women who seek value in different ways from men. Some want emotional support, some want financial security.

[@machupikachu1085]

@@Danny328DT and most want both.

[@Danny328DT]

@@machupikachu1085 Yeah, that's when all logic gets thrown out the window once the list comes up.

[@cymbergan]

Thank you so very much Courtney for mentioning the autism spectrum, because I am a man who over analyzes and is on it.

[@nobodysperfect06]

Going to assume you have not had much of a dating life