4 Signs You're Touch Starved, Not NEEDY

[@Sonicity_110]

There's times where I literally crave for a hug. It physically hurts

[@kurthanke5788]

That's sad, and I'm sorry you feel that way. I love to hug, as well. It's with people I care about, or even people I don't know. Depending on the person, I like to hug, while I lay my head on their shoulder. I'd be happy to hug you, if I was able to

[@A55a551n]

​@@kurthanke5788 can I please get a hug please 🥺🥺🥺

[@midnightmariontte]

Oh my gosh I thought I was the only one, even tho I am an amtrovert(?(sorry I am dyslexic)

[@YoGurt252]

pretty much the same, it just feels worse when its night or past midnight

[@kurthanke5788]

@@A55a551n I'd love to. And if you asked me to not let go, then so be it. I'll keep you wrapped up

[@seanmcfadden3712]

I'm simultaneously both touch starved and fairly uncomfortable with being touched! I get that they don't need to be mutually exclusive, but it's still awkward!

[@ludenben2652]

I feel what you mean.

[@blueberrypawsome]

Same here man

[@williamjanak2013]

I am sure if you find the right person their touch will not be akward. If only I could find such a person for my self.

[@sava898]

I feel the same way and it's frustrating because being touched in general bothers me as bad as wanting to be hugged or held.

[@sava898]

​@@williamjanak2013You will. If not now, one day :)

[@natashakwa]

One lesson I learned the hard way when first living alone: A hug is one of only a few things that you can’t ask for when you need it.

[@clairetheviolinist]

You can

[@Polymath2B]

@@clairetheviolinistI suppose, but who would you ask?

[@Brainstormer201]

​@@clairetheviolinistwhat, how's that?

[@Squidbush8563]

@@clairetheviolinistSome can. Most of us can't because it will ALWAYS be taken wrong.

[@clairetheviolinist]

@@Polymath2B friends or family. No one can read your mind. So just straight up ask.

[@Marina-tn1tz]

I realized I was touch-starved when a girl from my new school i didn't know so well hugged me for longer than .28 seconds and I felt warmth spreading around my whole body, a feeling of security replacing my vigilance and pure light entering my body and exiting it just as swiftly as it had come. Nobody had hugged me for such a long time in a very long time. Anyways, we're best friends now and I am proud with the knowledge that my love language is physical touch. There is hope, people

[@anderstermansen130]

For a how much longer time do i have to go through the torment of lacking physical affection? Because at this point, i would break more than fourteen bones in my body, 4 vertebraes in my spine, amputate both my arms, and walk a marathon on red glowing coal. Just for an innocent session of cuddling with a girl. Is this really too much to ask life for, let alone to ask for a simple hug? Did i mention im 27 years old? Signed ABT 27-11-2023

[@mybmyacc]

same!! my classmate who I'm not that close with hugged me reaaaaally tight because she was so happy about something I said, and I felt the same way you did! And how I hope I can get closer to her too because she's really nice!

[@Ashton228]

U making me want to cry...I want to hug somebody no joke for literally 5 minutes..I hug all my teddies and dressing gown but it's not enough I'm so jealous...😢😢

[@Redhairedchae]

I feel like it's never going to come

[@FuknKms]

Im desperate for physical affection but only wanna hold this one girl who i cant see for another few years U_U

[@LordBadenRulez]

I hugged my kids since they were very little. Today they are teenagers and love giving hugs as much as receiving them. We are a family of huggers, and we hug all the time. It's nice.

[@lonewolfnergiganos4000]

I feel so called out, but relieved at the same time.

[@fakesike7735]

Me too hahaha it's like they are spying us

[@horacestorm13]

Same here, actually 😂

[@Ben-dt1yc]

Same here

[@revaslatts4301]

Likewise...

[@Bizzwheezedewizzwuzz]

agreed much so💜

[@yayastedi]

I have autism. So when I grew up I didn’t know how to behave when people hugged me or kissed me. Because of this, people stopped doing that to avoid making me uncomfortable. Unfortunately, now that I’m officially out of my teen years, it’s become really hard to start incorporating physical touch in my older relationships… I’ve noticed it’s easier when meeting new people.

[@SilentHotdog28]

I'm not diagnosed, but I suspect I'm Autistic. I've always been ok with hugs, but always hated kisses, I'd freak out any time people would try and kiss me, one Aunty even tried kissong me on the lips and I dodged her, she hated that. I'm still awkward though, I tend to stuff up social cues and norms. "Do I hug this new person, do I handshake? Maybe attmept handshake into a hug if they go for it"......I grew up around a lot of people so that helped, but damn I'm isolated in my adulthood.

[@TaigaClaws]

Heh fuckin same

[@anderstermansen130]

I have autism too, pal. Diagnosed at age 2. Im 27 now, and its extremely difficult for me too, to incorporate physical affection/touch. It have grown so bad, that i have become hyper alert when people touch me, even the slightest bit, by accident. Its not that i necessarily find it uncomfortable, im just not used to it. My bottomline point is, youre not alone, neither on the day-to-day battle with autism, or the need for physical affection.

[@arrowverselover100]

@@SilentHotdog28 Damn, you described my life. Glad I'm not the only one who goes through this.

[@VictorDoe-cr3jd]

I'm autistic and when people I don't trust touch me I feel physically ill but I only have like two people who I trust enough to touch me and I never see them anymore

[@theblindwizard]

As a blind person this video really hits home. Touch is how I see the world so that's how I see other people. Definitely my love language.

[@Axonkid]

Wait…

[@sweetsunnyvibes]

Not sure if meant ironic or that you just failed craving for attention 🥴

[@ZelphTheWebmancer]

@@Axonkid Text to speech is used to read text on the internet

[@Axonkid]

@@ZelphTheWebmancer ah good point

[@Bleepbleepblorbus]

​@@sweetsunnyvibes Text to speech

[@Adfynnture]

A friend hugged me out of nowhere once, i think he either thought i was down or he was feeling down. I still remember that happy feeling it gave me

[@dhrumildave4221]

Bro same, my college junior who knows me only for a few months but happens to be from where I live, just hugged me outta nowhere man, I was so down while trying to overdo games and scrolling to feel something good. I can't forget it even after a few days.

[@fmbysUwU]

I would commit unspeakable war crimes if I was told I will finally get hugs from a human being please

[@MaybeEta]

Same

[@dungeontnt]

Or attention in general... On the other hand I'm a sociopath and I would do anything for money too I don't feel remorse or empathy I only feel empathy for kids who specifically are skinny and a few special people I love

[@dnarvarte]

Real

[@dungeontnt]

Lol I actually don't feel remorse so I could do it​@@dnarvarte

[@dhrumildave4221]

Sorry for late reply, but do you mean you love hugs so much that you would commit war crimes, or hate them so much that you would commit them. Your username isn't helping too.

[@BorisEdiacarov-ui8sk]

Skin hunger sounds a lot more morbid that it really is.

[@AlbedoSoUwU]

Yes but we all can agree that it hurts :’/

[@therealbahamut]

You know I had that exact thought. Sounds more like something that belongs in a sci-fi horror flick.

[@DanTheLoler_17]

Skin hunger sounds AS morbid that it really is

[@Neithan_Hirsch]

It is. I crave for skin. Human skin. I need it. I will eat it. I will eat human skin. I will enjoy it.

[@CBeavr]

I hUnGeR for sKIn :E

[@eraina_]

I really need to say this, I love when someone hugs or hold my hand irrespective of gender. It's feels so warm and secure enough to reduce stress unbelievably. And it has nothing to do with romantic feels

[@Bizzwheezedewizzwuzz]

likewise💜✨

[@firerams_and_arisinglion]

ew gross🤮

[@eraina_]

@@firerams_and_arisinglion sorry I know you have never received warmth in your life. I feel sad for you but it's ok I hope you never receive warmth of someone's security, because I don't want you to feel any more gross.

[@firerams_and_arisinglion]

@@eraina_ "warmth" LOL gross🤢🤮

[@anrandomthing7110]

@@firerams_and_arisinglion Think it as a mother to daughter in a way, and that helps to keep the ''grossness'' away. It works for me!

[@janecelee1713]

I used to feel really uncomfortable with being touched due to the fact that when I was growing up, I was physically and emotionally abused. I remember when I was getting hugs from some relatives, I was baffled by the gesture, and I was squirming on the inside. Eventually, I learn to appreciate a hug, but only from specific individuals like friends and close relatives. I'm still a bit awkward when it comes to giving and receiving hugs but I'll gladly accept them as long as I'm comfortable with the other person.

[@Aaliyahjoy2021]

Same

[@gokuscalves2102]

I'm glad you're doing better, and I'm so sorry that happened to you. I feel like abuse is never deserved and I hope you can keep going on your road to recovery ❤️:) the same goes for anyone who can relate

[@janecelee1713]

@@gokuscalves2102 thank you for your kind words

[@gokuscalves2102]

@@janecelee1713 ofc ❤️

[@wood_sorrel]

Good for you!

[@DaWorldGuardian001]

Even imagining a scene of me and someone just hugging and embracing almost makes me cry. At least in my case, I laugh instead of cry unless I'm overwhelmed with sadness. Also, is another symptom imagining being with, say, your favourite character. I happen to wrap my blanket in such a way that makes it easier to imagine hugging them.

[@nyxxose]

I ain’t been touched in so long, i’ve stopped caring about it…. No use trying to chase what you can’t catch.

[@A55a551n]

Timestamps 1). Increased feelings of loneliness and isolation 0:31 2). Heightened sensitivity to touch 1:15 3). Emotional imbalance and mood swings 2:00 4). Craving non-intimate touch 2:41 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@SphereofCygnus]

Thank you, I hope you have a nice day too! 💙💙💙💙

[@A55a551n]

​@@SphereofCygnushope you have a nice day too 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@Dynamic256-ORIGINAL]

Thank you!

[@A55a551n]

@@Dynamic256-ORIGINAL not a problem happy to help

[@RayPeng-07]

It always helps x3

[@saulbueno5640]

Touch starvation seems to be abundant for men, especially once they're grown up and have likely moved on their own. I for one adore physical non sexual affection because it reminds me that people do care about your well being and need affection just as much as you do. I wish more people understood that asking for a hug isn't an attempt for wanting sex, it really is because we are having a shitty moment in our lives and a hug would really help.

[@Bweyg]

Oh yeah, pretty much 9/10 women don't have to worry about being touched starved because most of them get it anyway, dogs, guys, heck even other women, they get it all, so I honestly would just focus on the gym and getting your gains, and to be honest, most modern day women aren't worth the time and attention anyways. I hate being touch starved too, but I'm trying to focus on getting strong and fit enough to run a sub 4 minute mile, and to have a calm and relaxing mindset to become unstoppable and unsufferable.

[@Bweyg]

Insufferable*

[@mokie7421]

I think I've been touch starved for so long that I don't even want platonic touch anymore. It's like I only want romantic touch. But that dosen't make any sense, so I'm definitely sure I'm just a freak mistake of nature.

[@kat7077]

Maybe men should normalise touching each other and not calling it 'gay' then. Or maybe men should stop only touching women with sexual or romantic intentions, or stop being creepy so that women don't mind more platonic touching with men, although most women don't mind their male friends hugging them etc, it's strangers doing it that's not cool.

[@Bweyg]

@@mokie7421 No dude your not a freak of nature, I've been touched starved and I only like romantic touch too, people just try to shame men for wanting touch and let women get anyway with anything because "they are such angle queens they can do no wrong". Sexist world we live in but we can't do much about it except try to focus on ourselves, more and more men are starting to care less about getting girlfriends/wifes/married, the more that guys realize that women aren't as special as we make them out to be, the more we can focus on ourselves and the more women will start to ask us out again, but at that point, we men won't care anymore so they will be alone forever with a bunch of cats and dogs.

[@darkphoenix7342]

I almost never intiate a hug, because I'm scared that the other person would reject it, because they'd find me disgusting. For I long time, I thought, that I don't even need physical affection. This was because I was scared that I would get hurt if I expressed my needs and I felt guilty for craving hugs. My current partner made me realise this. He is the kind of guy who is open about his emotions and likes physical affection. I think many insecure-avoidant guys would have called me needy if I had expressed my touch needs. So I think I'm lucky to have my partner, because he is emotionally available (unlike most men in my family). 😄

[@theglitchedgamer9358]

I can relate completely to the first two lines and half of the next line 💔💔

[@kurthanke5788]

@@theglitchedgamer9358 If someone comes up to me, needing a hug (it's happened, but not often), I'm more than happy to give one

[@zetristan4525]

Not disgusting, wonderful❣️ (Maybe only if the person is very unhygienic is there a problem, otherwise most of us in humane cultures embrace you gladly). The men in my immediate family I do sensibly avoid, but love those in the extended family!😅

[@darkphoenix7342]

@@zetristan4525 I was surrounded by toxic people growing up 😅 it's a long story. I'm still in the process of working through the issues those people have caused

[@erichbrough6097]

I totally relate to current partner, that's how I am. Would be so awesome to find someone who truly understands.

[@michaelyurkovskiy4308]

This speaks to me so deeply; especially after spending years of having an overworked schedule, handling life completely on my own, and not engaging in any form of intimacy for the last year; really starts to take a toll on your mental well being and state of mind

[@Iknowthismeme]

I’m both a really physical person and someone who’s really concerned about consent, so I find myself touch starved pretty often. At the start I thought it was just me wanting some physical contact with the other sex, but when I met some friends that I hadn’t seen for a long time and they hugged me, I understood what it was all about.

[@magnarcreed3801]

Go makes some close bro friends to hug it out. Y’all touch starved and women aren’t men enough anymore to try and help platonically.

[@RapidEagle-mn3fc]

Havent gotten a hug from someone that isnt family in years i hope everyone else feels better

[@theglitchedgamer9358]

for me, its never

[@oneiricbutterfly6532]

I feel very touch starved, but I feel that familial love isn't enough anymore😭 I would love to be with friends, or a significant other which I don't have. I don't really have friends close to me, so my affection craving is never fullfilled

[@anderstermansen130]

Dont worry pal, i guarantee you that craving for touch only gets *worse* in the years to come. Oh boy can and will it develop from just a craving to become an absolute torment.

[@oneiricbutterfly6532]

@@anderstermansen130 yay?

[@raheem300]

​​​@@oneiricbutterfly6532 dont listen to negativity ...just work on yourself and be the best you ...that you can be and Im sure you'll gain a person willing to help with your need for hugs and affection...I send a virtual one for now 🤗🤟

[@margaritasatmidnight3134]

Loneliness sucks, doesn't it

[@TheGoldNinja101]

You and I both

[@kashishprasad6970]

I had always been touch starved but having a pet helped me remove this craving for real. ❤️🐾

[@brockhargreaves4153]

Don't think such a short video has had me in tears so quickly. It's both a relief and saddening to have my suspicions confirmed. Thank you for all your wonderful videos, you folks do fantasticly educational and engaging work.

[@melvinschrab505]

Just the thumbnail makes me sad

[@kasha703]

Reading the comments makes me want to hug a whole bunch of strangers.

[@astragor2743]

I rarely do so, but I would like to share my personal expirience here. I realised how relatable this video is. A few years ago I had a relationship and I fealt really comfortable with this person, and we cuddled a lot, and it was the most attraktive part in our relationships, then we broke up after a year and after that I feel lack of tuches, I am a man and I never hug my friends or do something like this. Now I am looking for relationship only to get hugs and so on, but I feel pretty bad about it, like I should be with a person because of her/his charakter, not because I don`t feel lonely with my partner. Anyway I think getting in a relationship is the easiest way for me to get some touches. It`s kinda strange, but maybe relatable for someone

[@ChocoParfaitFra]

Imagine not remembering being hugged by your parents not a single time and now they accuse you that you don’t like touching people 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@PedroCarlosAlves1]

I don't have to imagine... :/

[@daylilopez6350]

Or they accuse u of staying in a toxic relationship when I'm feeling loved bomb more than my parents did.

[@natalsheep8566]

@@PedroCarlosAlves1 same bro

[@kylehalpern6695]

I fought with my parents my whole life. Now my mom has cancer and is dying I tried to repair the relationship. But they don't want me around.

[@woutdeprins]

this has offcially made me sad XD, I actually can't remember at all.

[@atomic-fox]

"touch depravation" was really rough for about the first two years after I became alone, especially at night. at first sleep was difficult not having someone to cuddle with. it got so bad, i turned to plushies and a large doll just to feel the presence of something next to me so i could sleep. BUT, after year two i've been able to sleep just fine alone. as for human contact, I'm on to year 5 with very infrequent contact, yet i rarely feel the need for it, even when i see others hugging or physically connected. it is possible to "ween" yourself off of it if that's where your life takes you.... and find other ways to feel connected to things and get the same result. that's why people get pets or plushies. a few moments with my cat on my lap and i'm good. not all of us are so fortunate to get human touch often.

[@ShatteredToDust]

so true, not everyone is fortunate enough. I'm at year 5 or close to 6 now. Its pretty lonely

[@atomic-fox]

@@ShatteredToDust you still need person to person interaction. you need friends and family. you can't do that alone. i'm a single social butterfly, i just don't do relationships.

[@firerams_and_arisinglion]

@@atomic-fox no u dont lol

[@atomic-fox]

@@firerams_and_arisinglion adapt, change, or stay miserable then. your choice.

[@firerams_and_arisinglion]

@@atomic-fox naw those are your choices lmaoo 😂

[@sansyboi356]

I find it funny that my partner says she's needy for wanting a hug and me telling her that she isn't, I can just show her this. thanks!

[@falcongamer58]

The stigma around people casually touching each other even if it's just putting your hand on someone's shoulder to get their attention makes people give you weird looks and so that makes everyone more awkward and act weird about touching than needed. So we grow colder as a society

[@deon5729]

Cuddles or a hug from loved person or someone who cares is the best thing ever i do sometimes feel like crying and i just wanna cuddle it feels just so plesently warm even when its hot and safe i feel cared for its just really nice

[@IPureHeart]

This really resonates with me. Physical touch is my primary love language, but I’m an INFP, a guy who has severe eczema, & whose been physically & emotionally abused before, so I often feel very unloved/unlovable and that no one would ever want to touch me at all. 😞 I find myself craving healthy/positive touch & I feel like touch starvation is magnified for me & also unfortunately adds to my depression & anxiety. I’m usually always surprised when anyone ever has put their hand on my arm or shoulder or my back, initiated a hug, or even held my hand; ☺️ to me it’s actually so meaningful! I’d like to be someone who is comfortable giving positive/healthy touch 🤗, but find it quite difficult partially because of my insecurities about my eczema, but also cuz in today’s society it seems like there’s also the possibility of positive platonic touch being misconstrued as sexual harassment, so it seems complicated…

[@Bweyg]

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[@elisabethherzog9369]

I have eczema too and hyperhidrosis but I really need physical touch. Those two things make me really insecure about it and as you mentioned I have this fear that people will confuse my friendly touch for something else and that holds me back a lot of the time from hugging someone first or putting my hand on their shoulder. I also just don’t know very many people and I don’t have many opportunities to meet people anymore so there are very few chances for me to get any sort of affection. Being touch starved like that is a weird feeling and I’m sorry you feel it too and struggle with eczema, it’s a terrible thing 😢

[@Bweyg]

@@elisabethherzog9369 Yeah I have touch starvation too, but I'm trying to ignore that and just focus on getting my stuff up because if you keep dwelling on it, you'll never move on in life. I understand how you guys feel, and believe me, there's nothing more that I would like to do except sit behind my screen and cry and weep, but I can't do that, why? Because I'm a man and I have a responsibility to do and so do you. Once you go to the gym, and you get going, trust me, it really helps, and if you start and you don't feel like your making any progress and you want to stop, don't, keep going bro, you got this!

[@Cutiejuliya]

Omg im also infp. Lets be friends 😄

[@dyingsanity.]

I’m also very touched starved, and it’s nice to see someone else interested in mbti (I’m an infj) Being touched makes me uncomfortable but at the same time I crave for it, I dislike initiating physical contact though

[@angelisela]

I married the wrong person for affection and physical touch. My parents weren't that way with us growing up and I was starved for it. I know they probably didn't get much of it either, so I don't blame them. It's still my love language, I'm so hungry for it, it hurts sometimes. I don't have many people to get it from. I am uncomfortable with just anyone touching me. I have to build up to it. Thanks for this info.

[@ShadonicX7543]

Shame that those most deserving of genuine affection often end up lacking it. All that energy..

[@lady_icarus]

When I first went to uni, I was away from friends and family that usually hugged me and around many that really didn’t like to be touched. So I felt like this and thought I was very off. I didn’t understand why and felt so isolated from others since nobody else felt that way. Now I understand why… Even now since I’m mostly by myself, I feel this way a lot and it makes me very sad and unworthy. Just a warm hug makes so much of a difference. 🥺

[@recoveringsoul755]

I discovered that getting my hair done every 2 months and a pedicure every 3 months was just enough. Maybe a trip to the chiropractor for a safe non threatening, non sexual human contact.

[@firerams_and_arisinglion]

gross🤢

[@lady_icarus]

@@recoveringsoul755 Thank you for this insight! 💜💜💜 I think I will start incorporating things like this more often. I sometimes have to save up for it since I’m on a fixed income, but I think if I can spare it that it will be well worth it. Sometimes I want that little extra affection from someone I trust, but honestly I will be happy to just have that gentleness to help.

[@lady_icarus]

@@firerams_and_arisinglion LOL OK 👍

[@thundergaming5785]

As a 37 year old man who's been single virtually all his life, I can relate. I'm always craving a hug, a sweet kiss, etc.

[@noornat7799]

once my older sister hugged me tightly, and it was the first time anyone had ever hugged/ touched me like that, I was feeling so confused and emotional I was gonna cry, sometimes I think, maybe I just need a hug. Many other situations like that happened but I never realized it.

[@talithmara2589]

Thank you for this video. Sometimes it can be really helpful to get affirmation that you're not just lying to yourself. Back in late 2021, I finally escaped an almost 14-year streak (Jan 2008-Oct 2021) of back-to-back neglectful relationships. Ghosting for months on end, etc. Left one person for another who ultimately treated me the same way. My most recent ex in particular assumed I was just "absurdly needy" and mistook my every suggestion of a hug or hand-holding (spaced literal months apart due to how hard they ghosted me) as "an inability to restrain my less-wholesome urges." Never got anything. Not a hug. Not a held hand. Not a kiss on the cheek. I just kept holding on, hoping that maybe there was some weird mental block they were working on and that things would improve up to maybe one hug a month once their life improved or something. But no, that never happened. I was with the first ex for almost 6 years, and with the second for closer to 8. I was too loyal and had too little self-respect to bail. In the time since my breakup, I've definitely gone through a lot of self-discovery and improvement. It wasn't easy. Broke down crying a few times. I'm a different person than I used to be, now - actually changing my name and everything. A new identity for a new me. And the new me is someone that my exes would have HATED. And there's some kind of awkward satisfaction to that. Like, "I can finally be the me that I could never accept I was. The reason I could never accept myself was because I was too suppressed as a result of those bad partners. I literally lost sight of any fragment of myself because I had to be who they wanted me to be if I wanted any hope of not being ghosted anymore." And reclaiming my sense of self has been interesting. Empowering but scary. Difficult but worthwhile. But... I can finally look in the mirror, smile (I hadn't smiled without the aid of COPIOUS amounts of alcohol in so long - my "neutral" expression was literally frozen in a scowl and it physically hurt to TRY to smile - I couldn't get my lips past a straight line, they would not curl up into a smile) and hug MYSELF, because I'm finally happier-ish with the me that I am, and don't need to settle for horrible partners who tear me down anymore. One way or another, we're all in this together. I'm cheering you all on!

[@Starsarebrightasalonleynight]

I'm sorry you had to go through that :( I glad that it got better and I hope things go to the sky from there

[@Bweyg]

Don't worry about trying to get attention or touches from women, most women don't find most guys including myself (believe me I know how you feel about being ghosted and all of that) unless they have stupid amounts of money or some insane status, just focus on going to the gym and strengthen your body, mind, and hanging out with your boys, brothers, and family.

[@meifennellysieu7510]

When you described the struggle to smile, you captured something that I sometimes find really hard to describe about my own mental journey, lol. So many people have no idea that smiling is something that your body can forget.

[@metametodo]

It's hard for me to describe how much I've appreciated this comment, how heartwarming, touching it was. I appreciate it because it's a tense yet hopeful story, It's a story of self discovery and self respect (important!), I like it because you really made me empathize with you, and I also liked because I related to many details. You described something in a way I've never seen someone express it like this. The difficulty that smiling can turn out to be. I noticed a few years ago how when I genuinely thought that I was smiling, most of the time my mouth line was just neutral, pointing sideways. It was scary noticing how my depression was strong enough that most of the time I had a frown, lips turned down. As a natural state. It lasted many years like this. Recently it was almost scary to notice how you can change, be different from earlier. Even your resting face can be telling a lot to the world. Because of this, I also related a lot to your story on self respect. It's the main internal challenge I have nowadays, I still struggle a lot to identify my own feelings, desires, likes, dislikes. To know who I am, who I feel the most confortable being. I struggle deeply with spontaneity. "Empowering but scary. Difficult but worthwhile." I love the way you put it. seeing you've reached this stage, presenting yourself like this, makes me a lot hopeful for myself. I feel so touched by all this that I have inside me a feeling of wanting to befriend you, to learn life by your side. Sorry if it sounds creepy. I swear it's a very pure and positive feeling. Picture me giving a warm human hug to you. Thank you a lot for all (the story, the feelings and teachings) you gave me! I'm also cheering for you! 🧡

[@GrayMattr]

As a former victim of childhood physical abuse I always wondered why cuddling felt even better than sex with my gf at the time, man does it all make sense now, instead of hugs I got smacks, fists, an kicks. I hope one day soon another beautiful women will come in my life an help cuddle all the shock away.

[@anderstermansen130]

My fellow king, I need you to understand that all women who have the ability to treat men on at least a *humane* level, are all occupied already. Only the crazy ones cant hold a man, and are therefore the singles. My bottomline point is you have to learn when to give up, and just embrace the death sentence called Touch Starvation. Signed, ABT 12-08-2023

[@naedanger123]

@@anderstermansen130Nice trolling, bit of a shame you’re picking out vulnerable folks to do it to but oh well.

[@magnarcreed3801]

@@anderstermansen130 Or they got snagged by abusive men and finally found the strength to leave, we’re single and enjoying life, focusing on careers or just growing as people. No woman wants men like you. That’s why they all seem bad to you but they’re just picking up your bad vibes.

[@magnarcreed3801]

Similar except I’m touch adverse but working on it. Realizing others needed touch, like all my younger siblings and friends, helped me adapt so I could provide it better for them.

[@GrayMattr]

I’m doing better guys I’ve had some great revelations since sharing this. I asked God to hug me an he gave me some beautiful visions in almost every traumatic area I’ve had which has aloud me to hug myself mentally on the days I’m struggling. Thanks for the love. 🙏🏼

[@theglitchedgamer9358]

Oh god.. every word said in this video is so true.. I have depression.. I'm 14, boy, and here's a part of my story :'] I think it started in mid-May this year, and since then, I've been telling my 3 best friends about how I feel (two girls, 1 boy).. I've even been doing sh... But last month, my boy best friend told he's tired of my depression and literally told me to stop.. since then, he's just been telling me more and more hurtful things, and now, it came to a point where he no longer has interest to talk to me in spite of me telling him so many times that I don't think our friendship is going well and I really missed the old him.. still no difference.. he even jokes and mocks me when i try to talk to him seriously about it... I never hugged my best friends.. maybe its because i am nervous to ask for it ig.. idk... but it hurts so much.. i also can't cry most of the times (maybe because i think i've been hearing "boys dont cry" or "ur a boy, be strong, dont cry" since my childhood so the idea has been deeply implanted..), so i always wished that maybe, i could express my pain through crying.. then this 'desperation' to cry gets converted to self-harm urges... hurtssssssssssssssssssssssssss 💔

[@lady_icarus]

I’m so sorry you are going through this. 🥺 No matter what, you are worthy of love and respect-especially from people that are in your close circle. I’m sorry that feeling has felt like a rejection from someone you trust. I hope you will have more around you in the future that is more understanding and empathetic. 💜 And it is ok to express your emotions and cry, no matter the gender. Your strength will still be there even after tears. I hope that you find the help and love you seek when you feel the only way is to harm yourself-I hope you find grace and ease instead.

[@Zaczytana_kotka]

I think I understand you, I had the same situation in November-December 2022 (now is going to be a bit better, I think). I know that it's really hard, espiecially when nobody notice and care about our feelings. During those times I often thought I don't deserve my life... So, as a random person but also person who understand how you feel, I want to tell you: You are strong and brave, stonger and braver than you think. I know it because you still LIVE although sometimes maybe you don't want to. You are amazing person with great personality on your own way. Crying isn't bad, isn't something only for chosen people. Crying smetimes can really help you, so feel free to cry. It's OK. And finally, I want to give you big virtual hug 🤗 I know that some random person's words on the Internet aren't as good as on real but I hope they help you at least a little bit. And I also hope that you see how wonderful person you are and you win with your depression

[@Thefashiongoddessnyc]

Please reach out to a school counselor or someone. Can trust..ur not alone sweetheart..I used to be a cutter but I found a creative outlet and slowly found myself…I promise it will get better..sending cosmic hugs and feel u are loved

[@lysanderstan9234]

Bro...... thats me.... more or less

[@Arceusmemesidk-zk7tm]

Yep I want a hug :(

[@saltysauce8692]

0:08 I’m sorry, who calls it “skin hunger” that’s terrifying

[@ZyanoStarseeker]

Video popped up yesterday so I saved to watch later. It showed up on the anniversary of the kidnapping of my kids a year ago yesterday by their mother. Old friend of mine I met 20 years ago while in the Navy came by and the hug I got literally brought tears to my eyes. Wish court would work faster to bring them home. Keep up the work, might have been 10 days before notice but worth watching.

[@theabelstick3495]

I'm honestly pretty happy of how I socialize, but deep down I hug is what I really want. There's times that I have to fight of that feeling by using my pillow or blanket, it's such a intense feeling. I use to have a friend that loved physical touch, but they stopped talking to me, which down I don't really have a friend that does such thing

[@kurthanke5788]

That's totally understandable. I also, have those times, when I crave a hug, and a long one at that

[@ham7348]

Lets become friends 🤝

[@Cutiejuliya]

​@@kurthanke5788yaasss loong hugs, finally someone said it!

[@Cutiejuliya]

​@@ham7348im down to be friends. U got discord?

[@boxwizard4672]

Thank you... Finally founding the reason why I've been feeling so lonely and just felt out of place, for 3 years now despite having the most phenomenal and kind hearted people around me. There was a short hug from a friend... Not a friend to be exact as she is way older than me, but when she asked me if I wanted something. I jokingly said a hug out of nowhere, I just laugh it off thinking I just said something ridiculous but when she puts down her tray of food in her hand, gave me a big hug, it took a minute or two? I'm not sure how long it took but it felt warm, comforting. Now that I had more thought about it the more I realized how i needed it so much. Sometimes we just really need that physical touch for connection.

[@DeRez19]

I match all of the signs, ESPECIALLY the third one. I just want someone to hug me and tell me everything will be okay. It's cringe, I know, but it's how I feel. This is probably why I crave for love.

[@c.antoniojohnson7114]

It's not cringe to have emotions and feelings. You know what you need,too many individuals try so hard to be edgy. Don't be them. Be you.

[@lady_icarus]

I can relate to this and I empathize. I hope you find what you want and need! 💜

[@anderstermansen130]

dont worry my guy, touch starvation only gets worse over time.

[@DeRez19]

@@anderstermansen130 yeah 😔

[@Cutiejuliya]

Same here, love ur username

[@HangOnThereSlick]

Someone that's suffered from anxiety so bad that I haven't had actual irl friends or a relationship for almost a decade, this whole video describes me. I always wondered why I could be in a good mood for a while but then for no reason get super depressed or irritated over everything.

[@SweetPotatoTim]

I literally messaged a long distance friend about an hour ago. I cried for the first time in such a long time. Then I get on KZbin at 23:30 and this pops up in my feed, exactly explaining what I am feeling

[@simpleneeds2582]

too touch starved that ive learnt to live without it. i still remember every time someone has hugged me, and i wont forget them for the rest of my life but yeah.. i guess loneliness indeed is my best friend

[@tohrurose8329]

I feel like like I grew up touch starved, my mother was very checked out and didn’t like hugs very much, whereas I’m very huggy 😢

[@AstroxSpace888]

Timestamps: 1) 0:31 - Increased feeling of loneliness & isolation 2) 1:14 - Heightened sensitivity to touch 3) 2:00 - Emotional imbalance and mood swings 4) 2:41 - Craving non-intimate touch Have a miraculous day y'all! ✨

[@DeletedChannel-p6w]

Copied comment

[@matthewcox7985]

I never liked uninvited touches. Unexpected touches jolt me like an electric shock.

[@animatingtrainee]

I always thought I was needy, or a hopeless romantic. I never thought I might be touched starved, or course I did more research on this, but now I'm glad I found this so I could try to help myself.

[@andreimircea2254]

This video spoke to me. I kinda want to be cuddled more by the ones I care about because I want to express love and care to them (I am also sensitive and overwhelmed by touch), but I don’t even try because I know that socially this acceptable only when done to romantic partners.

[@firerams_and_arisinglion]

touch is nasty lol 😂

[@andreimircea2254]

@@firerams_and_arisinglion Each to their own.

[@neormarc3994]

I thought I'm needy but now I see I'm touch starved. For a simple handshake from a stranger feels good 😥.

[@johann3534]

I'm extremely clingy and I'm always cuddling. It feels very empty to have to sleep alone!

[@petefrancisco3267]

Im clingy too. I always want him inside my 🐱...

[@Writtencrown]

Yes, I would like to hug my mom or cousin but they don't want to and it's akward so I hug pillow instead

[@PedroCarlosAlves1]

​@@Writtencrownthat's sad.

[@firerams_and_arisinglion]

naw sleeping with another person is gross lol🤢

[@anderstermansen130]

same here my guy, and i would break my right arm and left leg, just to have someone to cuddle with. But apparantely having a kind woman in my life who at least could treat me on a humane level is too much to ask life for. So some of us touch starvced people just learn to give up.

[@heyitsmaija]

i want intimate touch, but in a platonic way. like long hugs from someone i love and trust. holding hands with someone while walking. idk what this means, but i really want a hug. hugs are so comforting and healing

[@KL332.0]

I haven’t hugged my parents in so long..yesterday my friend gave me a hug and I felt like the happiest person in the world my whole body felt really nice and happy :)

[@Sapphirelily]

I know I’m touched starved. But being literally alone and having no friends (because I don’t know how to make them due to be socially outcasted by my peers) I’ve just accepted it. I want a hug, but at the same time, I’m in a constant alert mode when out. (Because I have a fear of people that have gotten worse)

[@genie9845]

Join a fight club or something. Dark methods for touch

[@Sapphirelily]

@@genie9845 Nah… maybe for self defense but I can settle on being touch starved. Survived this long (I’m in my early thirties) not having anyone give me something.

[@genie9845]

@@Sapphirelily or... accept it? There comes a point when if you get denied too often the desire dies. Like you get tired of the games of the universe. Even if it gives you said thing you'll restrict it then

[@EntropyAndSingularity]

I heard this thing called “cuddle therapy” where you hire someone to snuggle lol

[@Itx_Champ]

Sometime I badly want a hug even from any stranger or at least someone listen to I'm going through everytime everyday instead of insisting and demanding I just smile and walk away... It hurts :')

[@MarkusSsZ]

I don't even need to watch the video to know I'm 100% touch starved lol

[@kvgiris]

My parents keep saying that I'm 'sick' and they keep giving me these pills to take for last 4 days it's cray-z.

[@David280GG]

​@@kvgiriscrazy? I was crazy once! They locked me in a room, the room had rats and rats make me crazy!

[@David280GG]

​@@kvgirisjokes aside are you ok now?

[@heroslippy6666]

Back in highschool I had a friend that would sneak up on me and give me a hug randomly. It always made me feel embarrassed. But these days I am incredibly grateful for it.

[@kermitlefrohg3232]

As I have said before, a hug is sometimes all someone needs. Personally, outside of family hugs or side hugs, I haven’t been hugged in almost a year. And before that it had been years. And I know if I was sad and someone hugged me, I’d prolly cry. Which is irregular for me Edit: But, what makes it even more hard for me to get physical attention is I don’t ask for it. For a good reason. If I ask for a hug or something, the hug feels less genuine. Like that person felt forced to hug me, instead of wanting to hug me

[@nekjotti]

I relate to everything you just said. I'm not looking for intimate touch, just a hug or something. I've kept a lot of stuff back I think I'm starting to get ready to just let everything out. thank you for the help, thank you so much. ❤

[@Darkwing535]

I have lived without touch since I was old enough to not need help with everyday things. And the last hug was when I was 9. I’m 32 now. It’s a form of torture, I’d say. It really hurts, it never stops hurting. I’ve spent my life doing all I could to stay away and never annoy anyone. Considering my current state of health, both mental and physical, I just hope I don’t have too much time left to linger.

[@shivee354]

I understand. It feels very strange and one gets used to it..

[@Darkwing535]

@@shivee354 I wish so much I’d just get used to it and stop painfully craving it. Maybe it will stop one day, I don’t know.

[@TheSilversepiroth]

There was over a decade where I genuinely didn't have this despite the immense isolation I put on myself. Then suddenly I hit 30 & it's like I'm experiencing all these urgent desires for physical intimacy I should have felt over the course of about 15 years.

[@youngpacman1222]

This was a great video!! As a man that has been living on his own alone, ways of coping with touch deprivation is slim to none when all you have are coworkers/acquaintances

[@Sweetzerlandia]

I didn’t realize this was a thing. It makes me feel less weird. I’m coming out of a long illness in which I was almost completely isolated for six years and if somebody touches my arm I’m so sensitive to it and I have so many emotions attached to it that I thought I was losing my mind. This makes me feel better that it’s a normal thing and that if I have more exposure to random touches that it will get less intense❤

[@CaramelMocha-0]

Always put so much effort into your videos! U always find the best and interesting topics to talk about!

[@Psych2go]

Thank you so much for your support! We plan to launch a lot of stories to impact people differently. Hope you can give us feedback!

[@PedroCarlosAlves1]

​@@Psych2goanother great video!

[@reaper-x0166]

I love these videos but they make me always cry.

[@FLASHTVTurkey]

After all the things i have lived trough i have lost nearly all my feelings i feel a little bit of hapiness seeing ohters helping ohters to get others feeilngs better

[@RavenMistwolf]

This video helped me realize that I’ve been touch starved my entire life. Though I didn’t know that it was an official term, I was aware I’ve been touch starved for the last several years, but now I see it has been always.

[@mybmyacc]

this is so true! the human touch is so powerful cause why do i feel much much more closer and comfortable with that someone

[@ToxicOrVinmoo]

Sometimes things never go our way, but that's OK. I'm going to be OK. 😊

[@der_Alptraum]

There are millions of people who starve love. Yet no country, no organization take it as a serious problem.

[@firerams_and_arisinglion]

cus its not lmao😂

[@ilikewildcanines-xg7le]

​@@firerams_and_arisinglion>:(

[@HiThere-lq6pt]

I find to be it more akin to a skill issue than a serious problem.

[@eatcakey]

@@firerams_and_arisinglionblank profile and npc emoji, what else?

[@anderstermansen130]

thats because we dont deserve love. Eventuelly we get used to over time, being touch starved.

[@tinyrick998]

I was really hugged for the first time since I graduated highschool on my 25th bday. Not a quick "hi good to see you" hug, but an "i see the problems you have in life, I can't help you with them but I sympathize with you" hug. This person had never met me before that day. He was dating my mom at the time and thats how we met. I was destroyed. I have never cried so hard and deeply before or since. I didn't know how lonely I was on the inside. Now its been 5 years and I'm 30. I haven't been touched since and I'm afraid to meet anyone because I know I'll break down like that again. He was a stranger. If I were cared for by someone who means somthing to me I would need days to recover. Stuck in a viscious cycle of self depreciation and unchecked loneliness. I answer telemarketer calls just to hear someone talk to me. Even if it is a script to sell me somthing. It nice to be acknowledged as a person.

[@1Maklak]

This hurts at first, then hurts a lot and then... it stops hurting, but hugs also no longer do anything.

[@ayonixanimations]

It's important to know that even if you are adverse to physical touch (as I am), you can (but do not have to be, some people just require less physical contact) still be touch starved. You can help improve your touch starvation by figuring out what kind of physical contact you like, or what kind of mentality or situation you have to be in to find comfort from it. I hate hugs from anyone, even my own family members (I believe it's because I find hugs awkward to recieve/give no matter the reason, way I'm hugged, or length of time it is), but I like to link my arm around other's when we walk side by side. I would probably enjoy cuddling based on this, but I haven't tried yet as sleepovers are something I had more as a child and my partner and I are long-distance.

[@kamiyasan3375]

Depression, anxiety, touch starved gang. Assemble! 👇

[@EntropyAndSingularity]

I know this lets everyone who’s liked know, so uh… There’s this thing called “cuddle therapy” where you pay someone to snuggle. An option if you want.

[@emmaclineman]

I am personally touched starved and I love hugs. But whenever I might rarely receive one I feel and get awkward because I either have stuff in my hands or idk how they would like to be hugged back. People assume I don’t like hugs and I don’t really get them anymore because of that

[@kurthanke5788]

When you're with someone you trust, just ask them for a hug. It doesn't happen very often, but it's happened to me, and I'm more than happy to help. What's nice, is when the person asks you to not stop.

[@adityashankarnarayanan]

Omg same!

[@FlamingXNate]

This may be off topic but you have a really relaxing and soft voice

[@DaNintendude]

Never even considered this was a thing, but I'm thinking I'm definitely suffering a lot from this. I've realized that I tend to feel a lot of emotion and excitement just from being in close proximity to others nowadays. Something as simple as standing right next to a close acquaintance, or sitting next to someone on a couch at a casual get-together.

[@stayhappylittlemermaid]

Never regret what once made you smile.

[@petefrancisco3267]

😁 😘😘😘

[@kaelkirkby9191]

Unless it's illegal.

[@rioualion]

Ever since I heard about touch starvation, I immediatelly knew I really suffer from that. And bad, when I don't have a pillow or plushie to hug to just think I'm hugging someone, I even use the blanket, not caring if I feel cold. It took almost 16 years before I recieved my first ever hug. And till now, There hasn't been many in total. And hug is the closest human interaction I've had. What scares me more is that I'm not alone. Already reading a little here, I can see it. And I hate the fact that we, who really suffer from it, will most of the time keep suffering. We can't magically meet and hug. :( Literally just that would definitely be someone's best part of the day. I raise my hand here

[@EntropyAndSingularity]

I heard there’s this thing called “cuddle therapy” where you hire someone to snuggle with you.

[@jennyjpbr]

Me identifico com tudo neste vídeo. Sofro de ansiedade social, depressão e sou borderline. Não tenho amigos. Nem sei o que é um abraço de verdade. Sempre fico imaginando como deve ser bom abraçar alguém e chorar um pouco.

[@IRosamelia]

Te mando un fuerte abrazo amigo. Eres portugués o brasilero?

[@anderstermansen130]

We speak english here, you mexican gringos.

[@jennyjpbr]

@@anderstermansen130 Oh really? Very well, Your Majesty, as you wish.😂 BTW I can't even imagine how boring it must be to be you. 😂

[@healthwellnesshaven]

@ jennypikbr That was a helluva answer, my friend. I couldn't have said it better myself. Don't mind the angry racist little boy. Second-hand embarrassment.

[@jennyjpbr]

@@healthwellnesshaven ikr, poor boy. 😂😂

[@stegchegnpeg3050]

I have never gotten anything more than a casual hug from family members but i crave cuddles and hugs so bad. I wish I wasn't super ugly so i could actually experience it 😢

[@Pendoza84]

3:37 Voice Over: Amanda Silvera!! Finally after a long time I now know who the soothing voice is I crave for after a hard day. I feel touch starved once in a while. But I feel the same not hearing Amanda's voice over too...

[@Cingiturvin]

Yet I still say sorry for atleast feeling needy everytime I just feel like a quite bother just for comfort

[@DanielSelk]

When I heard scientists say that humans need 8 hugs per day, 20 seconds each...I nearly fell to the floor. I'm DECADES behind on that and only a few times EVER have I had a hug that lasted over 10 seconds. =( I am very touch deprived.

[@ShizunSnatcher]

For a really long time i have been craving physical touch in a non intimate way. I have a smal friend group of 3 and they all are very "shy" when it comes to touch. Whenever i hug them a little too long, they start getting akward or slightly push me away. I understand that not everybody likes to be touched, whether its intimate or non intimate. Also because im Bi and we often joke abt liking the same gender more than the opposite, there sometimes are comments after a hug or pat like "no homo" or "not tryna give you any hopes". Its not offensive or anything, my friends are really supportive and part of the lgbtq+ themselves. But the only times a hug or a sort of cuddle lasted a little longer than 15seconds, is when 1 of us feels really really down or is even crying. Because of that, i caught myself pretending to be sad or even fake crying just so my best friend would touch, hug, cuddle or pat me. I dont want to make things akward or just straight up say "yall can touch me whenever, idc and I really crave it" but i also dont want to fell even more starved, especially because i show my affection thru physical touch. If anyone has advice, fell free to comment under this comment

[@Cutiejuliya]

I think u should say it straight up like that. Im bi too and i dont see an issue with it

[@takotokoyaki]

I have a friend that held my hand when she wasn't feeling well, she leaned her head on my shoulder when she was stressed, she always crosses her arms on mine during break time. I'm not used to physical touch and it overwhelms me. But, it feels so comforting everytime she touches me. Whenever she's stressed and I want to hug her so bad, I can't. I tried patting her back but it was so awkward for me.. She's so used to physical touch but here I am a best friend to her who can't even touch her so freely and comfortably..

[@powerbongo922]

I usually do not like being touched but I really want a hug from someone I truly love

[@MegaManNeo]

All I know is that I haven't been hugged IN YEARS and that shaking hands alone ever since the pandemic became a thing makes me absolutely uncomfortable unless it is a real close person which... I don't have any around.

[@Nylak-Otter]

I hate touching people, but I get this way with my fiancée. She recently went overseas for a month with her students for a cultural educational whatever trip, and my dogs started getting obviously sick of me forcing cuddles on them. 😂 They're large working dogs, so we usually express affection by playing, wrestling, treats and praise rather than cuddling calmly. They're not allowed on the bed, so I made up a lazy floor bed for us so I didn't have to sleep alone some nights. I think they were getting suspicious that she was dead or I'd gone nuts.

[@idcgaming518]

2:04 true, but so does shooting guns and "doing the deed".

[@Swagenstein]

Ammo is so expensive though 😢

[@bucketttz]

I find myself relating to these signs quite a bit. I often feel like physical affection is something I crave but I never initiate it myself, mainly out of fear for rejection and hatred for doing something like that. This is especially hard for me since as a guy I pretty much never get approached by anyone other than people in my very small friend groups, however they probably wouldn't really do such a thing, let alone let me because they probably think I'm weird. I want to just be hugged but it seems I can't because I constantly think no one would want to, and also no one will EVER initiate it themselves. I'm pretty sure I've gone the entire school year without being properly hugged even once. Sure, maybe just very brief touching when playing around, but never just actually hugging someone. I'm glad of this video's existence since it brings me comfort in knowing that maybe one day I might find a friend who will think I'm normal enough to want to touch or hug me... One day.....

[@Abigail-q7q]

I was having a hard time at the social part of high school around my first few months and their was this guy in band i hardly knew. It was mostly in band i was getting bullied. Everytime I saw him and not many people were around (for example if we were in the same hall and coincidentally happened to bump into eachother) he would give me a hug and ask me if im doing ok and he would stay there for a few minutes and just go "shhh. its ok" thank u daniel. im gonna miss you when you graduate. you truly made everyday of my life better.

[@El-Burrito]

I've had incredible touch starvation before, where someone just brushing up against me or giving me a hug would shoot tingles and warmth all over my body and I'd end up craving it. It was a very weird place to be in. I'm more isolated now and try to think about it less. I find there's less triggers when I'm not hanging out around other people. I once had a hand massage and felt like I had a massive overreaction to it, to the point where it felt so good it was making me uncomfortable.

[@victoriabitter1000]

34yo male, been single for 6years no physical/sexual contact... i literally hug a pillow to go to sleep

[@LiberPater777]

You eventually get used to it. In fact, when people touch me (particularly women), it largely makes me feel uncomfortable at this point. Women only seem to bother when they need or want something, and they use touch as a initiating manipulation tactic.

[@treddox5880]

I’m not a big hugger, and don’t really need a whole lot of physical affection. But I know, right now that if somebody brushed my hair while I was laying in their lap, I would probably cry.

[@parisryan2012]

I haven’t hugged anyone for about 2 years lol that’s crazy right … I feel okay but I wonder how it will feel when I actually hug someone again 🙈

[@kristianramsey9983]

This video makes perfect sense to me unfortunately it still doesn’t fix my problems 😢

[@petefrancisco3267]

I can fix anything for you. But to fix you to become handsome again would be a no. You are going to chase all those gurls again!!! 😠

[@dakzibbon6589]

Doesn't fix your problems, yet can give you some insight in how to act to get some solutions