5 signs of emotional abuse | Haleh Banani

[@sleeping_beauty8558]

You described my husband to the t. The degrading, the excessive controlling, the constant criticism, the accusations and blame he somehow shifts solely on me all the time. The silent treatment. The threats. The gas lighting. The passive aggressiveness that never ever pauses. It’s toxic! I can’t express my feelings or my needs without some word getting twisted and twisting my feelings or my needs into something bad. I’m not a co dependant. SubhanAllah, I know I have what it takes Alhamdullah to succeed without him. But he’s had me trapped in a foreign country for the past ten years by using my children as pawns. May Allah protect me and all women from diseased hearted men.

[@nellywilde9541]

May Allah swt help you through this sister

[@missahmed786]

How r u dealing with him now???? R u stilll with tht man???

[@sleeping_beauty8558]

@@missahmed786 I am and live in Jordan of all places. I'm not a citizen nor do I have residency, my ex purposely kept me undocumented so I would have little chance of a fair custody agreement or getting a job. He’s still refusing to register our American divorce in local court to avoid the red line he’d be forced to adhere to once it is. Ironically the legal paper (marriage) that’s meant to secure my rights as a wife, mother and human , he’s using to maintain his rights to insult me, threaten me and cross boundaries I’m trying to protect all on my own. Despite my ex’s abuse and his family’s refusal to help, my es is p@lestinian btw., my personal story doesn't affect my deep sympathy and compassion towards the P@lestinians in G@za. I feel impotent knowing | can't criticise the government here because I'd be thrown in prison and most likely be deported. Loosing all access to my children. But the more I read about the Jordanian stance on the P@lestinian issue the more self restraint I must practice. Maybe the fact that I was betrayed, oppressed and gaslight by the one person who was supposed to protect me, has helped me relate with the P@lestinians in G@za on a deeper level than most. I understand and feel their pain. Hasbunallahu Wa Nimal Wakeel fi all the oppressors worldwide! I pray for justice and FREEDOM for all victims of Gaslighting and Oppression specially the P@lestinians in G@za. I mention gaslighting specifically because I’ve witnessed how dangerous and destructive this tactic can be.

[@Sk24266]

Seems like you are describing my husband

[@LamiaTabassum-fn5ig]

i am going through the same. but cant take it any more. how r u coping? can i knw?

[@faymoosa5064]

Narcissist are not willing to change. 😢

[@waheedasyedshameemahmed6673]

Assalamualaikum sister. Iam in a abusive relationship even I am educated and working. I have been married for 12 years, I don’t have a child. My husband as you mentioned is controlling me in everything. I can’t speak to him normally. I am living this life just for my mother as a formality for the world. I don’t know what is the solution for this and how long this will go. He is just using me for money so that I can earn and give him. I am not involved in any important decision he makes like buying a asset. He and his family discusses everything and takes decision. I am just like a thing in his life to use me when he needs. I am emotionally broken. Just praying to Allah that he shows some mercy on me.

[@mahrukhameer3250]

Sister Allah has provided you the way of seperation. I know it's difficult to say but Allah will give you vastness as mentioned in Qur'an. Do istekhara and Allah will make your way clear for you

[@hameedjavad130]

Same here

[@meinkagazorqalam]

@@waheedasyedshameemahmed6673 i have been there for 16 yrs. Left since 2 months. Felt peace since the very first day he left.

[@asfiahussain4927]

May Allah reward you to explain these all signs,because sometimes it is not easy for the person to explain ,what kind of zulm or evil he or she is receiving from another person

[@rajashah702]

😭😭This is what i am facing right now with my husband. All what you said describe him. Thanks a lot. Bless you ❤❤

[@latinalife2458]

Oh sister am glad I found the video I been abuse for 18 years, a year ago he was dating and dumping me in his country with lies and lies . Now he wants to take even my little from me. The boys are 18 now and willing to help him in any way !!! It hurts me so much when they talk because he has manipulated so much!

[@peaceinyourheart116]

This is so hard being in an abusive relationship... it is so sad

[@haleh_banani]

Salam Alaikum sister! Being in an abusive relationship can be incredibly difficult and emotionally draining. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and know that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Here are some steps you can take to address the situation and find support: 1. Recognize the Abuse - Understanding and acknowledging the signs of emotional abuse is the first step towards addressing it. Trust your feelings and instincts. 2. Seek Support - Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or community leaders who can provide support and guidance. You don't have to face this alone. 3. Educate Yourself - Learn more about emotional abuse and its impact. This knowledge can empower you to make informed decisions about your relationship. 4. Consider Professional Help - Speaking with a trained professional can provide you with the tools and strategies to cope with and address the abuse. Our Banani Method trained coaches are available to offer personalized support. You can learn more about scheduling a session here: [halehbanani.com](halehbanani.com/). 5. Evaluate Your Options - If the abuse is impacting your well-being, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship. Your safety and mental health are paramount. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate this challenging situation. May Allah ﷻ grant you strength and guide you towards peace and healing. Best regards, Aisha, on behalf of Sr. Haleh Banani. Haleh Banani's Support Team

[@Ela-mj5bc]

With narcissist personalities is very hard to deal with .

[@haleh_banani]

That is true

[@paryanatahiri3433]

@@Ela-mj5bc my husband is a narcissist and also has OCD its been a month if our marriage he has beaten me to death and emotionally he has tortured me since the engagement

[@Ela-mj5bc]

@paryanatahiri3433 no one should stay in a abusive relationship if you can support yours self and having your family by your side tell him bye bye.Especialy religious men they think they are sent from above to tell us women how should we be.

[@anujarahim8533]

Jazaki Allahu khairan katheerah dear sister, that was spot on 🎉

[@mikaeels.6477]

The cold shoulder (stonewalling) is a form of emotional abuse. This is a very very low level of behavior from the person who does it.

[@abeeraaslam6414]

What is that?

[@Tailltaill602]

This is such a reassuring and enriching video... Jazaka Allahu khayr Haleh.

[@gul.12]

Thank u sister.May Allah reward you.🤲🏼As always your lectures are so inspiring,waiting for your more lectures.🌹

[@numidiajurjur3467]

Tooooo late to know😓the damage invade every aspect.

[@kamilathassen7276]

The same for me to to let 😢😢😢

[@zuraydadamon1332]

Sister Haleh you are a blessing you opened my eyes and help me to be a confident muslima shukran may Allah bless you abundantly Ameen

[@yazzbazzs3602]

Nothing but truth🙏

[@sanji546]

Our mothers put us in this situation asking to sty in abusive marriage

[@foreveryoung806]

Salam honourable Sister Haleh..thank you for letting us have this to be aware.of such..But this concept can also be applied for other types of relationship like parents and child? Amongst friends?

[@HomeFrendsten]

Thank you for this video,narcstc mothrs complain about daughtrs or sons since infancy

[@KamaraMabinty-ye3kp]

This is exactly my husband he Always make decisions when he is upset he will talk at me for one or two hours sometimes I said to him I am not a child I am your wife

[@meandme7798]

Alhamdullilah! I am in all of these 5 signs. Alhamdullilah!!!Allah have given me a strong heart and mind, I go with it just to make it all less stressful for me and my son. Alhamdullilah! Allah is holding me up and keep me unshaken.

[@LovelyBrownBear-cm4ju]

This describes my husband to a tee, and as I'm listening to this video on full volumn, he is sitting next to me laughing. Every time I try to speak to him and bring his behavior, he starts naming my flaws, and I end up feeling worse, so I have not been bringing it up. I feel like my husband hates me.

[@haleh_banani]

Salam Alaikum sister. Thank you for sharing your experience, and I’m so sorry to hear about the pain you’re going through. It’s heartbreaking to feel dismissed and unsupported by the person who is supposed to be your partner in life. I want you to know that your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Steps to Address This Situation 1. Focus on Your Emotional Well-being Emotional abuse can take a toll on your self-esteem and mental health. It’s important to prioritize your well-being by practicing self-care and seeking support. Remember, Allah ﷻ has honored you and given you value, and no one has the right to make you feel unworthy. 2. Choose the Right Time to Communicate When addressing your husband’s behavior, choose a calm moment when emotions aren’t running high. Use “I” statements to express how his actions make you feel. For example: “I feel hurt and unappreciated when my concerns are dismissed, and I want us to work together to improve our relationship.” 3. Set Boundaries It’s important to set clear boundaries to protect yourself emotionally. Let him know that while you’re open to discussing issues, you won’t tolerate being belittled or having your concerns turned into personal attacks. 4. Work on Yourself Sometimes, making changes within yourself can shift the dynamic in your relationship. Programs like my 5 Pillars of Marriage can help you learn techniques to improve communication, set boundaries, and create a healthier relationship dynamic. You can explore it here: halehbanani.com/. 5. Seek Support If his behavior continues to harm your emotional well-being, it’s important to seek support. This could be through a trusted family member, a community leader, or a professional counselor. Our Banani Method-trained coaches specialize in helping individuals navigate these challenges. You can book a session here: halehbanani.com/. 6. Evaluate the Relationship If the emotional abuse persists and is tearing down your self-esteem, you may need to reevaluate the relationship. Remember, Allah ﷻ does not want us to endure harm, and your emotional and spiritual health must be protected. You are already taking a brave step by acknowledging the issue and seeking guidance. Allah ﷻ reminds us: “And We have certainly honored the children of Adam.” (Surah Al-Isra, 17:70) This honor and dignity are your right, and no one should take that away from you. You are stronger than you think, and with the right support, you can navigate this challenge, insha’Allah. If you’d like more personalized guidance, please don’t hesitate to reach out for a session. We are here to support you every step of the way. May Allah ﷻ ease your pain, guide your husband to better behavior, and bring peace and happiness into your life. Best regards, Aisha on behalf of Sr. Haleh Banani. Haleh Banani's Support Team

[@baigayat9137]

We are so many with more or less the same issues with our spouses however, one of my professors at the mosques told me that the mistake was done from the beginning when I said yes to this marriage. It hurts to hear that but it’s true I do have my responsibility in this whether I like it or not or whether I believe that he’s the one making the marriage toxic more than me or not. So let’s just try our best. Marriage is not a life sentence, we should be able to get out of it but I understand the feeling of being trapped. May Allah make it easy and help us to learn from this hardship and not lose focus on our akhira. Sometimes it’s necessary to leave the marriage, but some other times if there’s enough maturity, there’s hope to work on it and crush the shaytan .Let’s not give up sisters. I share your pain and will be making dua for you InshaAllah. Don’t forget me in yours as well please.

[@haleh_banani]

Salam Alaikum sister @baigayat9137 In Shaa Allah things will turn up great for all of us. Sister Haleh has a course called The Mindful Heart Acadamy, it has training, inspiration, practical tools in supportive community for women to achieve emotional strength and personal transformation. Sister Haleh is doing live session every Thursday at 1PM CST as well. See you there In Shaa Allah - HB's Support Team

[@fatmatabintasow4668]

This is what am going through for the past 12 year and he so nice to my family and his family so even if I try to explain nobody will believe me😢

[@Sumayyah-ho1wl]

SubhannAllah. Don't be sad Allah is with you. He see you tears. He hear your cries. Turn to Allah.

[@englishandbiohub6621]

My mother is like this 😮so hard to speak the truth and i cane even lie to just keep her happy bit i want her happy too and my mental peace too

[@haleh_banani]

Thank you for your comment. I understand how challenging it can be to balance honesty with keeping your mother happy, especially when it affects your mental peace. It's important to address your feelings and try to overcome any resentment. Forgiveness can be a powerful tool in healing. If you and your mother need support in managing your emotions and overcome the emotional abuse, consider setting up an individual session with a Banani Method trained coach. You can find more information here: [halehbanani.com](halehbanani.com/). Best regards, Aisha, on behalf of Sr. Haleh Banani. Haleh Banani's Support Team

[@antionettemurray6389]

You articulate this subject very well. Thank you for your input and your KZbin channel.🥰😇

[@badesabamir576]

Jazakillah kher

[@user-zm3no5xb6t]

He said I’m not pretty. Then why do these men say they like you or be with you?

[@IfeomaAgha-ho9st]

I caught my man touching another woman who came to serve us in our room with him tying only towel on his waste in my present, I confronted him and he angryly told me he is a man and I should not just start😭 no respect for me at all.... I'm still with him to save up little more before I ran for my life

[@LoveLifeLive1]

My husband had all the five properties and he was a narcissist... He alawys thinks that all was my fault. So he divorced me.

[@SgdhHshd-d3h]

Say Alhumduillah

[@Adam-bc2ov]

Divorced women lmao

[@diniadem7852]

Please sister answer me my question I am not in a good situation please my question is I’m married and I express my feelings when I’m very and also sad I cry allways,but my husband allways very angry on me and he thinks that I’m idiot,like I’m not strong enough instead of respecting the way I express my feelings . So what I have to do please

[@farashe1893]

These all totally what I feel in my relationship with my husband right now, How to deal with such abussive husband which always make me feel I’m the one wrong

[@MohammedAli-vp9ie]

I'm unsure if I'm in an emotional abusive relationship or not even if I am I could never leave may Allah make it easy for me

[@ahmadmaryam5420]

This is my life right now

[@HomeFrendsten]

toxic people also manipulate

[@NRK7861]

Omg that is soo true my friend is going through that what should they do please help me so I can help her?..

[@spoonsofrowza]

My husband doesn’t want me to finish my education and says I should obey him for the betterment of the marriage and religion but I know by education I am not doing anything haram, I wear proper abaya,hijab,niqab and never talk to any male in the university but still he says it is my duty to stay home and not study anymore but I do feel like maybe in the future I will need to get jobs to financially support myself so I want to finish my education 😢 I don’t know what to do

[@Sumayyah-ho1wl]

It's not haram to educate yourself. Please don't give up your education.

[@irm2708]

He does everything but i have to stay 😢😢😢

[@petrichor3685]

how can i reach out to you for therapy?

[@haleh_banani]

Salam Alaikum. You can make an online booking through this link live.vcita.com/site/haleh.banani or drop us an email at [e-mail] May Allah clear your mind and ease your restless heart. Regards, Aisha HB's Support Team

[@rejhana1012]

You spoke against the husbands rights in Islam with the psychologie, in point 2 and 3..

[@addisachannel169]

No

[@LamiaTabassum-fn5ig]

sister banani, do u provide therapy online? would like to know urgently. please help me

[@haleh_banani]

Salam Alaikum sister @LamiaTabassum-fn5ig thank you for reaching out. Yes, sister Haleh is offering online coaching sessions, kindly find the link live.vcita.com/site/haleh.banani you can book a session online. Should you need further assistance kindly send an email at [e-mail] - HB's Support Team

[@yougotthiss]

How to get out when you have been gas lighted and you have an imposter syndrome in result.

[@nuzhathjahan7184]

You described my husband 😔

[@ReihanaIfthikar]

How can I contact you sister.. to get some guidance L

[@th5384]

Salam Aleykum sister, I really need your help, me and my revert wife really need your help. Been with her 17 years and its kind of on the brink.. i have signed up. My name is Tariq, what do i need to do to set up a zoom call or something. Your help would mean the world, Jazakallah sis

[@haleh_banani]

Salam Alaikum brother Tariq. Hope that all is well on your side. For online booking kindly refer to the link live.vcita.com/site/haleh.banani or for further assistance please drop me an email at [e-mail] Regards, Aisha HB's Support Team

[@zohrabismillah9489]

Jzk for sharing

[@aneesfathima329]

Please help me out

[@haleh_banani]

Salam Alaikum. Thank you for reaching out. Should you need further assistance, please drop us an email at [e-mail]

[@MarilyCarpiso]

In Islam, what must we do if we have a husband who does that to us?

[@tabbuansari6298]

Can I take a session with you plz

[@lambda1917]

God himself controls our life, so does it mean we have toxic relationship with him?

[@ature2003]

Asalaam Walakum I tried not to escalate and remain feminine, I cannot deal with Beta type men no dis respect

[@Tangentbordsblues]

Having to wear an ugly tablecloth

[@nellywilde9541]

Get out of here

[@rehanagondal4865]

I have vome out of my marriage after 55 years . I need to talk to someone . How can i contact you please dear sister

[@Nadaflowers4]

Thank you for sharing your beautiful 🎤 speech ❤️