5 SIGNS YOU LIVE IN FEAR: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

[@Obsessedwithpurple]

I’m literally afraid of everything and everyone now.

[@helenarubio3371]

same

[@truthbetold6942]

Me too.

[@seagypsy_]

You’re not alone 😢

[@wesboundmusic]

Yes, me too at this point. Never thought it could come this far.

[@ashanein]

Same. It's fucking exhausting. 💜

[@LesleySASMR]

I feel this so much! I have always, since I was a child, felt frozen/stuck. I have such difficulty makeup my decisions and making a move in any direction. Thank you for this!

[@tetedur377]

I drive my friends and family crazy with my inability to make decisions. The vast majority of the time, my decisions feel like desperation decisions - and that's after spending an inordinate amount of time doing research, making comparisons, asking people's opinions, and so on.

[@biba350]

Same

[@TheCrochetVampire]

@@tetedur377 I understand this SO much. It is so exhausting 😩

[@tinahulett1762]

I can relate to all your videos. Thank you❤

[@Tygo423]

You must be my twin!

[@amybrock9840]

I am always living in survival mode. I can't feel good when things are good , I am always waiting the other shoe to drop .You are right about feeling so bad when you can't seem to juggle everything . Thanks for sharing !

[@monaj33]

Your central nervous system is fried, like mine, listen to soothing music 🫂

[@amybrock9840]

@@monaj33 whale songs really help .

[@teribacon22]

Exactly!!!!! The other shoe to drop is it exactly!

[@meganbetts9624]

I grew up in a violent alcoholic household. To this day (I’m 59) I’m hyper vigilant….. always feeling panic if someone projects even the slightest hint of going into a bad mood around me. Deep breaths, it’s a process to keep myself even keel.

[@loloplauche9266]

Same!

[@frankweatherford6848]

I questioned myself and spent a lifetime trying to figure out what was dogging me endlessly. Im 54 now and over the last decade ive zeroed in on it. I am every point you mention and have been a lifetime. Problem is my health is on a downturn, my mariage most likely ended because of it, ive aliented so many its unreal. I hve my career as a proffesional tradesman but its been a struggle to achieve that. Im just so worn out at this point i fear i wont make 60. Its relieving to know my childhood truma ignited all of this and i wasnt just a bad person but i wonder about the fix and has it come to late to even matter. Maybe peace will come when my time on earth is done. Im not suicidal my creator will decide when its time. Im just very very tired is all. I will say this young parents be the best you can be for your kids because what they see now last a lifetime. You will be long gone but they remain as adults with the good or bad memories they have of childhood

[@tomlund4951]

It takes a lot of balls to man up like this. You are stepping up because it’s time…better to leave this world with some peace than to leave it running. I know where you are coming from… you aren’t alone and every effort to make things better even in the slightest is better than to hunker down and wait. Keep walkin you’re headed the right direction! ✊🏼

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

@@tomlund4951you guys- great to hear you speak up and support one another. I’ve lots of older brothers- now 4 out of 8 are dead. Men can separate out too much from the original childhood stuff- looking at it, painful as it is- has scope for some healing

[@pattynewcomb4213]

I totally understand everything and I have no children and at 64 both my parents are gone and I’m pretty much it on both sides…. I haven’t even dated in 5-6 years….. I so appreciate you!!! Grateful I have my Spiritual side and my Paintings!!

[@tullyogallaghan]

Hi Patti .. we have so much in common.

[@YTSM8YT]

Yup! That’s me. I’ve been in a stable job for over two years and I always feel I will get fired any day 😂

[@HostileWorkplaceEXPOSED]

I left my first state job because it was so, and the second was worse in the third was the worst of all. You might be in a horrible position now, but in my case it was worse everywhere else. State agencies are absolutely awful

[@Jennochka]

This is so me! I am always worried about getting fired.

[@claudiacuriel4480]

''chronic level of not feeling well". shamed based "you're such a loser, what is wrong with you". Yes ! Still do this and feel this. The good thing is that I still question my past and present behavior. I want to UNDERSTAND it, And when I do get understanding I get some degree of peace. Thankyou so much for your bravery and honesty. So much here and very helpful. And... {overused word) validating. I needed this today. It didn't start good and I got into such a funk. This really really helped.

[@justanotherAA]

Your videos and teaching have been utterly amazing for me. Once again, I am aghast at the accuracy here. This is exactly how I live and have lived. I can find admiration for my perseverance, but also mourn for this type of sustained hypervigilance and anxiety.

[@anniemac7545]

This is me to a T ! You know how to explain trauma experiences from a survivors eye and a psychologists, it's a gift. Thank you

[@moscowcowboy_13]

Guess I am in the right place, ticking off all the boxes. I am such a mess. I struggle with when can I relax, when can I slow down, who will validate me? Am I in trouble? Is that person angry at me? But I have turned things around and done more doctor visits and self care in the past 6 months than in the past 10 years.

[@breath3easy.]

Good for you. 🙏🏾

[@Enttauschung3]

Fear is used to control you.

[@airgunsanonymouslesslethal1904]

I also do this thing where I feel sorry for my therapist for having me as a client.

[@DrKimSage]

Please please talk to your therapist about this…it’s a great place to work on your wounding. We truly value those things and early in my therapy i told my therapist something she said that upset me (in the past I would have ended it) and it helped me address some old wounds and also strengthened our bond. Your pain and story matter so much to us and we choose to work with you and be in the session because we care and want to be there with you ❤❤❤❤

[@airgunsanonymouslesslethal1904]

@@DrKimSage Thank you!!❤

[@RoxanneSchmidt-c9t]

Omggggg ! Yes !! Exactly how I’d feel !!

[@EllenBerberich]

I have felt that way also.

[@devanishant]

"I wouldn't want to associate with anybody who would have someone like me as a friend." G. Marx

[@lindyinclusive8163]

How can we ever trust anyone when we weren’t seen or heard? Fear is lack of trust. Acknowledgment of our own toxic behavior and looking at accountability because of what we endured is freedom. Also it’s a way to realize our judgment towards others and lack of awareness. A cool place to start fresh!

[@debbiesday8270]

I identify with every single one of these five things. I've been in a forty year trauma bond and am currently going through a divorce and my ex is shorting me on money and is not being honest with me about the assets. I've been a stay at home mom for the past twenty five years and have no job or job skills. I'm now 64 and scared to death about my ability to survive, especially with the health issues I now have. I am miserable and totally stressed out 24/7. I feel stuck in the freeze response. I find no joy in the things I used to love. I feel like a ghost walking around watching other people live . but I feel dead. I feel like a weakling and a loser who made all the wrong decisions and ended up in a horrible relationship with a person who was never going to love or respect me. Ugh!!! Why can't I just take care of myself? I keep looking for jobs I could do, but I just can't seem to find my place in this life. I just don't fit in anywhere.

[@Rob_132]

I used to be an anxious overachiever. Now, my spouse is the breadwinner and I’ve collapsed. It’s nice to not have the gut-wrenching anxiety but there is now anger, emptiness and depression, and a lack of meaningful goals. And, yes, exhausted even though I’m not that active in the world.

[@lial2713]

thank you. I am shaming myself right now. I am burnt out. I live in fear. always being strong is hard. I have so many things to do but instead I watched 8 episodes of law and order. I. am not as hard working as I used to be. I am trying to keep it together. I am the only one I can depend on.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

I’m there too - compassion to us both.

[@johnhewlett6792]

I was in an orphanage by nine months old, pushed and shoved about ending up on a lonely farm in Shropshire abused by foster parents. I became a shorthand teacher but apparently I have complex PTSD but trying to get help from the NHS is useless.

[@rayflynn162]

What you wrote is really moving John, I hope you can get some peace.

[@jimtome3554]

Just love listening to your content delivered with such sincerity and authenticity. In addition to those five things, I might add (in my experience) a fear of being abandoned, no longer loved by anyone. You touched on that when somewhat under your breath, you said “I would hope my kids would at least deliver a meal to me from time to time.“ That’s it! That’s the fear of dying alone.❤

[@purity369]

Thank you for outlining these five things. It completely resonates. It's only when my partner questions my thought processes (because he hasn't had the same level of trauma) that I realise how impacted I am. I'm always having intrusive thoughts, expecting the worst outcome, thinking of the worst that can happen. Simple thing like going on holiday and the whole time I'm expecting everything to go wrong and planning for those eventualities. Takes up so much energy and absolutely causes burn out

[@monikagermany17]

Your videos are so helpfull❤ I am 58 now, living my whole life in constant fear from cptsd. I apreciate sharing your personal struggle in your life who I totally relate to. To feel not alone and having moments of compassion for the first time with my inner child. Thankyou so much, Dr. Kim, sending you best wishes across the ocean from germany ❤

[@tanyamatthews1511]

i cant believe how true this rings for me. im 50 and struggle daily and i need healing

[@marriannerayhill7734]

I'm praying for healing for myself and I'm 53, as well as my mother who is 72 and has CPTSD from being married to my abusive father for 53 years. I have been caregiving for her for almost 8 years and it has also added to my trauma. I am struggling right now with anxiety, fear, panic, dread, depression and crying. I'm on the most meds I've been on in my life and recently started at home low dose Ketamine treatments hoping it will heal my neural pathways as I can't keep living like this and struggling on and off for 31 years, as an adult, let alone what I dealt with as a child.

[@mrentertainment4923]

You look so beautiful ❤

[@marriannerayhill7734]

@@mrentertainment4923 Thank you.

[@allwellandgood8547]

This is so normal to me. That empty, heavy stone like sense deep inside that really we are alone in this world with noone but ourselves to rely on. I see connection with others as a way to begin to heal this and it does help but that feeling is always there deep down. But it also drives us to do some pretty incredible things. Wishing you a quick recovery Dr Sage. You truely are Wonder Woman!💪❤

[@DrKimSage]

Thank you for this, I appreciate you.

[@KmartGuitar]

I relate to this so much

[@c-p1976]

I may have to purchase that book just to have the hope of eternal life being whole and complete, full of joy and happiness. @JC-du6sn

[@normgardner4560]

This event was the day when fear entered my world and has never left. Today I am 68 and am still living in fear. Sixty one years. I can't say I am tired of this because I don't know anything different! This video describes me perfectly.

[@emilyc8074]

I joke in a self-deprecating way about it being the start of 'my inevitable downfall' whenever something doesn't work out or something minor goes wrong at work etc - and then I go home and literally make lists of all the things which I'm convinced really are never-ending evidence of my actual inevitable downfall unless I keep struggling to stay on top of them all, work, sleep, money, health, friends, my hair (lost cause). You described this state of living perfectly. Walking helps me, the winter months when the weather is too rubbish to walk as much is harder.

[@nataliefenelon4796]

4.30am here in Australia, wide awake with deep crippling panic ... after many months avoiding any content relating to trauma & Narcissistic Mothers ...even positive meditations... I have hit shut down. I was sued by my Mother for money my ex borrowed...she has legally created contracts to protect him... long story as you can imagine... but after losing my home & way more than the figure I was sued for... things just kept going wrong. I had an open & shut case to complain/ sue for legal malpractice...but every time I would go to contact a lawyer...I would panic. I sort of shut down like my brain is on a loop & the rest of me is catatonic. But exactly as you say- a lifetime of working hard & always safeguarding yourself from the next "inevitable" life altering catastrophe kicks in & screams at me to get back up for f%$#s sake. It is like when you are at your lowest, you can hear their voice snarling... "oh of course, its someone else's fault... you're so entitled you expect someone else to do the work...." It is painful to know others suffer as you so aptly describe, but finding your page is really the only thing that has given me a sense I am not to blame, that how I feel is a natural response to being continually gaslit. I can't thank you enough.

[@MissUnderstood_Mom]

Omg…. I live life like this as well. Afraid the other shoe is gonna drop at any second. That I will lose my job, lose my apartment, lose my car, etc. I did lose my car during Covid when my salary was cut in half. Having someone repossess your car is terrifying. Worse of all, it solidified my fears. I’m a single Mom of 2 as well with no financial help from him at all. I’m a child abuse survivor and had a really traumatic divorce in 2014. We lost apartments as kids, we had no food or lunch money some days, at one point, we had no heat. My childhood was chaotic to say the least. As an adult, my central system is fried. Cortisol is streaming through me at all times. My kids even notice my lack of gratitude even just tonight. My daughter told me that I always complain and that I’m negative. Desperately trying to feel better but if I’m honest, I’m terrified. Between Covid, the strikes, being a single parent for almost a decade… It’s all so hard. 😢

[@robertashaffer3950]

I just fell upon your channel I have been involved in self-help for decades. A devastating, life changing event in August of 2022 forced my journey in life towards another trajectory. It happened because my eyes needed to be opened up....BIG TIME. Your video explains the newfound awareness I have come to understand the last 17 months. Childhood trauma really affects us deeper than most of us realize. Some people never see it at all their entire lives. Getting ourselves unstuck once we are conscious of these fears is not easy at all. Conditioned habits and ways of thinking do not miraculously happen in one day. Slowly yet surely, I am incorporating new positive habits to help create a better life for myself. For me it is very hard work....and I feel like I still have 2 feet in cement. Thankfully, because of the decisions I am making, the cement is cracking 🙏 NO ONE can do it for us. It's all up to us. Fear is debilitating. Staying in fear is even worse.

[@znrctrnn]

Fear is often the primary motivation in corporations. Gawd, I hate that.

[@nikstar1313]

I love your vulnerability, it empowers us so much ❤

[@JBaxter-pi8oj]

Thank you. I had no idea I was in a state of collapse. It's actually rather shocking but also a bit of a relief that I'm not just "hopeless". We all cope with the tools we have on hand and it's wonderful to know that there is a way forward. Again, thank you!

[@donnaferrara521]

This video was awesome 👌 it reminds me of my childhood i used to take care of my mom as well. I remember that I painted her room and put new wallpaper up and new carpet i just wanted to make her happy. But I believe that i just wanted her love. ❤😊❤

[@DrKimSage]

Hi all! Hope you find this helpful-- and I am working on part 2 of the Ghost Partner vid/exercises! xo

[@lds251]

I’ve been afraid and hyper vigilant all my adult life. Spent several years in therapy. Alot better but since I’m 71 now I have a whole new set of fears!

[@margaretdillinger5090]

Oh my word, you described me to a tee. Since childhood I’ve always been afraid waiting for the other shoe to drop. I shut down and don’t like loud places, even church sometimes, crowds, busy roads, being alone but always lonely, what ifs always running through my head but nothing good, happiness does not last, dreams turn into nightmares. Yes I had a very traumatic childhood but yet two my sisters have chewed me out for saying that I did. They had it rougher than I did etc. sorry 😢 I’m 72 but a sad little girl inside.

[@allesconstantpain8249]

I just really hate that I had to grow up with a paralysis response to stress, making it even worse with my automatic tendency to fully disassociate when things get too much. Its the end of the first semester, my first year of uni, but I've been skipping classes for two weeks already just because I genuinely can't forse myself out of the bed no matter how much I try. Instead I just drown myself in videos and books that make me forget for at least some time, but then they end and, for a moment, I'm left in agonizing understanding that I'm going to fail all my classes. It's happened before, it's my third "first year" and I hate myself so much for thinking it would get better this time. I hate myself for thinking I was worth a damn. I hate myself for being aware of just how much I could've done instead of rotting away in my room, barely even eating. And then I start another book and try my best to dissapear.

[@Elevatealchemi]

You are wonderful with your honesty & vulnerability! It makes me feel so much more normal, and feel compassion for myself, you & everyone experiencing this! Thank you so much 💛

[@mollyb1983]

Take care of yourself Kim, we need you! ❤

[@yankeedoodle6293]

I had a traumatic childhood with lots of physical and emotional violence against me. My parents were completely oblivious and never gave me any attention. Now in my mid forties and looking back. I overworked over the past 20 years and achieved quite a bit of success with real estate assets worth 8 figures. Now I have detachment syndrome where I can’t connect with a woman. Kinda sad. Because I love woman. Also, just barely have a high school education. Cheers from New York 🌆

[@sunnyeverywhere825]

Kim, I'm wishing speedy healing for your legs! Thank you for this insightful video, so real for me, as you spoke my life with everything you said. Awareness leads to healing. ❤️‍🩹

[@jessieinthewest]

I identify completely. I’ve had severe primary insomnia all my life and my mind never gets a break. I am constantly in fear of everything falling apart but am consciously grounded, compassionate and grateful. It’s a constant battle and compassion for myself would be wonderful but no matter what I do, I blame myself for everything, literally everything. Counseling never helped. I hate everything about myself except for my values and Christian faith.

[@mday3821]

God doesn't hate everything about you. Please pray that you can see yourself the way God sees you. This worked for me. I am starting to see the good things in me. I pray you do see yourself the way God sees you. You are His child and you may do things He doesn't like, but you're the apple of His eye and He loves you. Our Father is a loving, caring, & compassionate parent.🙏

[@sk3ffingtonai]

Yep, you nailed it. You just perfectly described my secret existence - as a business owner, a happy face must always be presented to the public domain. It's almost like tinnitus, no real 'cure' - you just learn to live with it. I will say a prayer for you to find some peace and quiet in your inner life. I will sub your channel as I found your presentation fascinating.

[@Realaw1]

Just amazed how you express EXACTLY what I'm going through right now. I used to watch things that took me away but now hearing things like what you've just said makes living in the present not so hopeless. Thank you.

[@PrimroseRebellion]

thank you- to know there are other intelligent people who are in the same state helps me battle the negative nagging voice.

[@KmartGuitar]

This came at the perfect time for me. You perfectly encapsulate what I'm experiencing now. Ive been in a mental fog recently which also left me feeling so exhausted physically. So far I've developed skills and capacity to be less critical and more compassionate to myself, but there is still a very familiar feeling of shame and fear i hold that's been very difficult to navigate through. Thank you Dr. Kim. A lot to talk about with my therapist today.

[@BohoWarriorYoga444]

I can so relate. I too had a very difficult childhood--lots of insecurity and lack and I have spend my working life, since a teen, RUNNING from lack. it is scary. I am all alone in a foreign country. I love my work (massage therapist and yoga teacher) but if I ever were to get injured or burnt out---the money would stop coming and I would be destitude. THAT scares me to the core.

[@NatalyAl-xc6jk]

This channel is underrated. Thank you for such clear and smart video

[@pamelapalmer2832]

I hope you realize how much you help all of us. You do a wonderful job. Thank you ❤

[@terristripstipsandtalk]

Dr. Kim You really got me when you said you don't have anything except for your kids. My entire family is gone I am also a sole survivor. I resonate with everything you say. I am so glad you have this channel and that you have us here to support you. We need each other. To everyone in this chat, we will survive we can make it! Even if we can only take itty bitty baby tiny steps. My heart and prayers go out to each and every one of you❤🙏

[@sophiegraham9161]

My step father was an alcoholic abuser and beat my Mother nightly and she escaped in my room which never really worked,he would pull her out by her hair.She would make every excuse to stay for 20years. I was her caregiver at the age of 5 and on.i am on the lower spectrum of success. Always exhausted,sad,mad and nothing is ever positive and my only child sees this and i feel horrible about this. Your video was enlightening. Signed barely there. TY

[@AP-nx6xo]

Thank you for your video. I live in fear always. I live in fear of growing old and being abused by staff at a seniors home and being helpless. I get suicidal often. I guess that’s my coping mechanism to know there’s a way out. I’ve been in therapy since I was 13 and I’m on meds for anxiety and depression Pretty extreme Hope I didn’t upset anyone

[@katrinabongi6295]

After being an athlete all my life, I was diagnosed with adrenal insufficiency. Then, the autoimmune disease's berated my body at age 40. I am 50 now and on a healing journey with mindfulness, exercise, diet, and a big one...healing childhood trauma and abuse. You are so correct on all of this content. A good read is " The Body Keep Score" by Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk.

[@munhassan7840]

I’ve had horrible childhood my mum was ill and depressed was quite abusive growing up age 7 has given me fear it did effect me. I was blessed eventually my grandparents took us on to bring us up. It’s important to heal the trauma.

[@sunshine2049]

You and I are so similar and have had the same parallels. I totally understand the living in fear of the unknown and impending doom. Especially around money.

[@sally5256]

I just want to let you know - I burnt my arm (bicep) almost the same way you burned your legs - I was in a bit of an angry mindset, I was making a thick steak in a cast iron skillet with too much oils - I flipped it and the oil washed over my arm like a wave 😱. 2nd degree burn - also had a torn rotator cuff on the same arm. I feel your pain! I had the same bandage on my arm for weeks! Btw - the rolled sticky wrap worked very well!!!! It’s tan in color. I feel your pain! 😩As always, thank you for your vulnerability and openness 🙏❤️

[@DrKimSage]

Thank you and I’m so sorry that happened to you! Omg so bad! Just saw my derm and apparently I’ve lost some feeling as it was 3rd degree. After the first night it didn’t hurt for a few days but was blistering and apparently the not hurting part (which made my dr give me the wide eye lol) means it’s 3rd - I never knew that! Now I’m afraid of everything hot in the kitchen 😂ptsd??😂omg it’s always something for all of us…I know! Thank you again for your kindness and for being here with me❤❤

[@sally5256]

Yes! The pharmacist was very concerned for me when I mentioned I had no pain. She implored me to go to the doctor- I was leaving for vacation and never made it to see the doctor. The blistering (or renewing skin) showed up a few days later. Twice a day I put Neosporin and new bandages on it. The worst pain was pulling off the white tape until I got the roll. Anyway…. I hope you heal quickly. I now have a battle scar. And a reminder of what can happen if I let my negative emotions get the best of me 🙄. I try to flip the switch! 😡🙂And yes, much more cautious when dealing with anything hot in the kitchen 🔥 And you have been an angel in my journey 😇. I have been involved with two men in the last five years who endured much trauma from their childhood into their adult lives. I had no idea how the effects show up. It’s heartbreaking for all involved. Your work is a gift that gives me so much understanding and compassion for them. And it has helped me to not be so hard on myself when navigating the relationships. It’s not easy. I try to be patient together with boundaries. It is a fine line. Good people just weren’t set up with the best examples. It’s heartbreaking at times 💔. You are so sweet with so much intelligence and grace! Your work is important. Thank you 🙏❤️

[@melw905]

I just started watching and can already relate. My mother has always told me that happiness is never complete meaning that even if something good happens there’s always something bad or a bad experience looming. I think it’s the worst saying and I hate it but I do have this fear at the back of my mind all the time 🙁

[@bryanmccaffrey4385]

Wow. Super real and honest. No inheritance and single here. I get that fear. Most of the women I date don't have it. Back to school to become a therapist too. :)

[@auntihooha]

That's me, too. I can't even start my life and it's almost over. Trauma sucks.

[@biondna7984]

Thank you for this video and your work. I've learned I'm very affected by my parents' childhood traumas of parental neglect, adultery, death, divorce, significant poverty, and their neglect of my brother and I, while my mother became a lifelong alcoholic and I almost joined her. I know I've created anxiety in my own children with the same hurtful behavior, and have owned up to it, to them. I most recognize the chronic fear trait in myself that no matter how well I've got things going, I remain on edge about what's going to happen next. The other traits, I'm having some healing on, but I'll probably be working on this the rest of my life. Which is okay.

[@boyfmbalcatta]

You make some good points, however, as my CSPTD is related to late adoption and the constant fear of being 'given back' (not founded) and finding myself in the middle of two sets of siblings and not really being accepted by either fully. Now as an older man at 64 and finding counselling of no use, I have had to find my own methods of survival. Mine was in helping others not go through what i felt.

[@_cr8ive_]

100% resonate with all of this. Great video, extremely insightful. 👍🏻🙏🏻

[@DrKimSage]

🙏💗

[@ectoplasma5]

Things that helped me the most : going into nature,especially bicycling,my dog, breathing with soothing music/frequencies and last but not least ashwaghanda. Plus changing my way of thinking.

[@devanishant]

Yep. I check all the boxes. It was more of an issue when I was younger. Slowly, at some point I accepted who I am as a blessing, or a gift, if you prefer. I am hypervigilant, nothing fails like success, when I'm exhausted, I sleep, otherwise, it's game on. I have some deep toxic shame, but faith that it will dissipate when I die. I often feel like I'm living in a movie set and everybody running interference is from central casting. I have a woman and two children that I take care of, several animals as well, and my goal is to die with enough wealth created, gold, silver, and bitcoin to take care of all in perpetuity.

[@luckybear8283]

This hits so close to home, thank you for making this ❤️ I recently turned 50 and still working over childhood trauma of abuse: the worst part is that I have no choice but to still interact with the perpetrator on a semi-regular basis. The stress has been taxing me to breaking point. One thing I've discovered recently however, is the power of chanting "Hu.", it works so quickly and reliably to eliminate (or greatly reduce) my chronic pain and anxiety (had CFS for 22 years). It's almost miraculous - it's early days yet but it gives me hope. (Also earthing/grounding has helped enormously too.) Just wanted to share 👍🏻

[@Hannah_Rachel_and_Kotik]

You're not the only one. I am sure every day that l will be fired, lose it all, become homeless, full of debt. This because of multiple trauma, health problems that caused money roller coasters of feast and famin. Sometimes l feel like l live in a refugee camp. Sometimes l feel like a snail, so vulnerable that l can't leave the house, and the 4 walls keep me intact. I am always overwhelmed with an endless to do list and never keep up. I don't have free time. I want to change my job, but too tired to start to change it

[@TracyNewton-q3b]

I think this video was needed for a lot of us. I've had therapy, given courses with all the tool kits. I started a journey with god, because of gratitude for what I do have. Two days ago I sat with a deacon at someone who is guiding me, house. I had to repent, forgive towards a family member and I felt so guilty? I've learnt it was from them not me, that's what they do to us. Beat us down until we are nothing in our own eyes. I recommend getting home straight after, have a hot bath, and rest rest rest as god does his healing for you. My tears are so deep but that's OK. 🙏🏻 Do you but be kind, very kind to yourselves, you, we, all deserve it.

[@latinaliz]

You described my entire adult life.😳🥺. I am so grateful to have found your channel, thank you for sharing your knowledge and content with us. ♥️

[@SandyBop-k1d]

That’s ME all day long! I have to see an exit for most situation. 🤦🏽‍♀️🧘🏽‍♀️

[@AwakenedOne-qu]

Dr. You are not wrong, people are vicious, envious, malicious assholes. Everyone is afraid of everyone else. It's cultural not imagined.

[@sueswain6596]

O my gosh, you’re talking about my life. “FAILURE”. That’s what I heard as a child. I was told to keep my sober as a child… this is like gum on my shoe that I can’t get off.

[@ginacox7867]

I totally get what you’re saying. I was fine until I had kids and remembered my childhood sexual abuse, now I live terrified all the time.

[@SandyBop-k1d]

I’ve also done the same thing. I am a helicopter mom of a 32 year old. My son and husband knows and understands my fight. 🧘🏽‍♀️

[@kaitlynpatterson2493]

The amount of tears I watched this through 😭 I have recently been diagnosed adhd and am researching (believe I may have) autism as well. Watching your videos have been so helpful and validating. This one though hit on a different level. Thank you for your content 💙

[@MissPrissy6688]

You are wonderful. I just discovered your channel . I watch documentaries, podcasts etc…. I came across Temple Grandins Ted Talks videos. Other sources as well. She was talking Autism. One of the signs is dyslexia. She also said there are a couple types of of dyslexia. One is when you read and the letter’s jiggle. That’s me. So it sent me off on an investigation into my own dysfunction. 😁. I’m 71 and just now realizing I have signs of autistic tendencies. In retrospect, it explains a lot. Growing up in a family of severe dysfunction. I was the middle child in a family of 8. I was the scapegoat. I spent the majority of my life trying to please everyone. I had to remove myself from that family. I have nothing to do with any of them anymore. I couldn’t work on myself with them in the picture. They would make fun of me and put me down for looking into self improvement. I’ve thrived and progressed exponentially since disinheriting them. Your videos are down to earth and very helpful. Thank you. I’ve had plenty of talk councilors, EMDR for PTSD, and looking into micro dosing psychedelics. I will continue to work on myself and explore treatments for my dis function.

[@tammyrobinson1613]

I was never afraid of life or people until now. Even after childhood, and past marital abuse. I took adventures, started my own business, etc. Although the push push of my business, being a single mom, my former husband trying to take money from our girls, i see how i became afraid. Now, im very ill, on disability, himeless, and no car. Ive been beat up for standing up for a woman with alzheimers whose daughter was abusing, and stealing from her, left by family, friends, and have so much medical trauma I can't trust a thing, even myself anymore. I used to say the only thing i can for sure trust is myself. I can't do that anymore

[@anniepaquette]

Thank you Kim. I experience pretty much all the things you mention and talk about it on my channel. It’s quite heartbreaking because I am such a vibrant (in spite of chronic issues), bright, inspiring, capable women. I am in constant inner work, believe in life and myself a lot of the time, but I can’t shake my deep fear and loneliness. I just separated from my husband, I have no children, no closeness with family, and no long term friends and no income at the moment (wow, this sounds really pathetic!). …but I have a book coming out soon….à KZbin channel…art… I can do this. I just wish the time pressure of earning income wasn’t so short. I need to replenish, body and soul. Thanks again for sharing. Sending you my kinship.

[@heatherwiner2883]

Totally makes sense for me as well. I have no back up in life so try to work two three jobs at the same time. Never feel well and chronically tired and stressed.

[@arabellathornton9386]

Thank you for being so honest I know how you feel and it’s great to see a dr talking about suffering from trauma

[@megdelaney3677]

I'm at a point where I'd like to walk away from all my responsibilities. I'm so overwhelmed with all I have to do, that I do nothing. I know most advice is 'babysteps', but deadlines don't care if you're depressed, feel frozen due to past trauma, or have just been told a loved one has terminal cancer. - I had gone to therapy early on in adulthood, but I see little point in it now. I feel like I am predestined to wind up alone and poor without accomplishing anything worthwhile in my life.

[@Deba7777]

I'm right there with you, Sis. Every day is a challenge.

[@kbarak62]

I was so grateful to hear this today. I am struggling with exactly what you have shared. My whole life. It's so exhausting.

[@LindaStokes-ff2kv]

I can so relate to this...

[@Therapisity]

Comparison to others in comparison to ourselves there's always a struggle for me.

[@moscowcowboy_13]

You are doing just fine, Kim. I really appreciate your videos! Sorry I am in Florida or I would do some therapy sessions with you.

[@maryblais7791]

I can relate to your thoughts. My goal is and was to be safe. Never is there a time to exhale. It would be a miracle to live in the present.

[@shortmeister4321]

Dr. Kim, I'm going to send you a great big loving Mom hug!. 💗 You have so much on your plate, and you're trying to do it all, and do it perfectly for fear of failing. Please know that you are beautiful, loving, kind, compassionate, and MORE than enough. I'm so proud of all that you accomplish every day! Please don't worry, it's all going to be ok and YOU are amazing! Some days are harder than others, and that's when you need to remember this message and give yourself the grace and kindness you give others. I promise, you are MORE than enough, and all that you need is within you. You've got this!. Love and hugs, a Mom.💗

[@karennovosat5435]

Thank you for your vulnerability and openness. It encourages me to look inside myself and face fears that I have about not being enough, good enough or do enough. Basically I am a perfectionist working on letting go of the “needing to do everything right” thinking.

[@jamiepittore1350]

You described me I have always lived in survival mode and live in fear I’m always stuck and get frozen at times and I overwork and push myself especially at work. I have been a single mom since my son was 2 and I don’t have family support

[@scott-qs6sp]

I feel the same way,I thought it was a case of extreme anxiety ,and it gets worse as I get older,I know there are many factors that cause this but its hard to take a complete inventory of your life but it may be necessary to back track to get on the right track

[@phoenixd9679]

Thank you , I am trying to stay positive because , I am giving up … so much to explain myself to canceling, I need a place for myself away from family use and abuse ! 5/years of struggling, not escaping 🙏💕

[@LV-cp7zg]

Therapy is expensive and time consuming but the hardest part is finding a compatible therapist. One told me “no one wants to hear people complain and whine”. Another told me to go for the “low-hanging fruit” and give oral sex 😳😫. Others only suggest modalities that didn’t work in in the past. The fear of going through it again holds me back.

[@ashleypg1708]

I hear you! This keeps me from seeking therapy again, even though it helped me for years. The first therapist I saw off & on changed my life for the better, but toward the end, things sort of changed. She'd made a comment like you mentioned, about "whining" and "pity parties". It made me lie by omission when I continued with her; I was no longer honest. I felt like I had to appear happier, stronger, and less anxious, like nothing bothered me. I couldn't share my true feelings anymore, fearing she'd say I was just throwing a pity party. I worked hard in therapy. I did NOT just vent or complain, so that really affected me. I quit soon after. I started to see someone else years later who couldn't recall anything we'd spoken about the session prior. I felt like I had to keep explaining myself. After that, I think I really developed a fear of finding anyone else & developed this belief that good therapists were rare & the thought of finding another was too overwhelming. I am grateful for the positive moments in therapy that helped me with the trauma of losing a parent & taught me how to protect myself from another parent with BPD. But, I don't think I could start the process ever again.

[@Shellz369]

I highly recommend somatic therapy. Not everyone had heard of it. Somatic experiencing addresses trauma via the body - the *feeling* state, rather than psychologists who deal with just the workings of the mind (top-down approach) Irene Lyon here on YT has some very helpful video content too ❤

[@LV-cp7zg]

@ashleypg1708 I’m so sorry. I know exactly what you mean. I also felt like I had to pretend in a way, to validate them!

[@elenalatici9568]

Bad therapists are legion. It's so dangerous because one doesn't seek a therapist unless one is in pain. The two incidents you recount in this comment are truly shocking. The low hanging fruit remark is stunning. I once had a nut job tell me in my first session with her That I wanted to have sex with my mother 😮. That was my first and last session with her. Clearly, you knew those therapists were off the charts disturbed and you left, but that can be hard to do. You have to have your wits about you, and when a person is in an emotionally vulnerable state thinking clearly is often the first thing out the door. You had/have a lot of courage to reject their "help."

[@elenalatici9568]

​@@ashleypg1708 A horrible and, unfortunately, not an uncommon experience. Back when I first started therapy the only way to tell if a therapist was any good was to rely on my instincts and to observe my mental state. Here area few of the things you should pay attention to: Are you feeling better or worse or worse after a session? Were you being actively listened to? Does the therapist ask questions, or make statements? If it's the latter, get up and walk out. Now there is Google, and it can help you make a choice before walking through the door of a therapist's office. Often, though not always, there will be reviews written about the therapist by previous or present clients. Pay attention to them. Especially important in the case of negative reviews is consistency. If they all say pretty much the same thing, rule them out. When looking to purchase something on Amazon, I always look at the negative reviews. If they all say the same thing, I won't take the chance; if they're different, as in the package was open, or the product was broken I will take a chance and purchase the item. When seeing a therapist, you are giving a stranger access to your mind and soul. To your brain. At the very least, one should be at least as careful as when purchasing something from.Amazon. During the first interview with a therapist, you are the one in charge. You have the right to ask questions. What kind of training do you have? What is your approach? Do you have a control therapist you see on a regular basis? If the therapist seems offended by your questions, scratch them off the list, and go on to the next. Yes it's hard work, and yes it can be expensive unless you have insurance either from your employer, or are covered for mental health by an affordable policy such as the Affordable Care Act . You are making an investment in yourself. When buying a car, you can take a test drive. If there's something that troubles you about it would you buy it anyway? Probably not. The same thing applies to therapists.

[@inisasmrspa]

i feel so heard. and seen. and understood! you described exaaactly how i operate, its crazy!

[@devanishant]

Reading the comments. I feel blessed. Even though I check all the boxes, I accept it and "love myself," whatever that means. I don't have friends. I find the concept silly. I know I have limited time and it's running out every day. I have taken refuge in making money, as much as possible and making others' lives better after I depart. That's my mission. When I was young, I was suicidal, but that was long ago and I rarely have thoughts of checking out anymore.

[@eliseta4232]

I've always felt like that and pushing and pulling between flight and freeze. Fortunately, since I started somatic work and trauma healing, it has decreased enormously.

[@lisae6725]

That critical voice can’t motivate me anymore, it just gives me that shitty feeling of shame. This video really spoke to me and I’m not even halfway through yet.

[@Anthony-s1c2e]

I am very much like you in terms of symptoms and training and might well have CPTSD and high functioning autism. You provide a wonderful service to the public that is different because of your personal experiences. Thank you so much!

[@karicastanza5216]

Your videos are amazing! I can identify with almost everything you point out. I feel as though all I've ever done is move from one point to the next, never doing or really pursuing the things I know would fulfill me. Mostly because I am trying to help everyone else but me. I need quiet and to do things slowly, deliberately. I'm 50 now and ever since I was a child this world has always been too fast for me. I just don't know how to explain it to other people. I thrive on order and simplicity. I've never heard anything explained so eloquently before. Thank you! Sometimes it just feels good to know you're not the only one. Also it's been even more difficult since my Mom passed away in 2021 and my Grandmother in March of this year. My mom and I understand each other so well. We were like therapists for one another. Not having that one true soul that really "got " me has been a whole new learning curve.

[@ericasawthat]

I don’t think I have ever identified with something so much. Thank you for this video❤

[@zeinanammour37]

I feel like this too. I grew up during civil war, fear was all i know. I did a lot of therapy and energy healing work, i found Parts work (or shadow work) very helpful - as explained by Teal Swan. I try everyday to make fear my best friend. It never left my side.

[@barbara8802]

Oh my …..you have hit it on the head! I am 60 and just done! You spoke things I am feeling /thinking!

[@ginacox7867]

It’s a pity the Dr’s in Australia don’t get all this, they simply don’t believe trauma does this. We are so behind in this country.